Questionable Questing

Jeffery would remain the geeky side character to be picked on, but I would give him his own mini arc and maybe a girlfriend or something. Maybe have him and Nicole have a real little heart to heart about the pressure of being pretty and being lonely.

But Mark first. One project at a time

Of course. Of course. I'm actually struggling with Mark a little bit. Just not liking how the beginning is working out. Just so much lore dumping that's stupidly essential considering I have to make a realistic DC universe with Viltrum inhabiting it. Which is cool, world building is fun for me. But it's finding ways to transmit all that info to the readers in a in-character way I'm struggling with.

Do it over many chapters. That's what Pale Lights did. Worldbuilding not all at once but through the events of chapter after chapter. Start small, work your way through

That's what I'm thinking, it's just a pain you know? I don't like how much it sounds like my Hazbin chapter at times.

But you going to sleep soon?

Your Hazbin chapter had character voice issues with the dialogue and spotty scene focus. What do you need to introduce to your readers as the very first concepts in the very first chapter only

Soonish.

I need to introduce the adopted kids and their dynamics in the family, plus a rudimentary overview of the current Justice league. And when I say rudimentary, literally a five seconds blurb of the chain of command and the relations between the top members will do.

Its the adopted family and getting the vibes for the whole Nolan family down that's kind of stumping me.

I sleep and talk about that more tomorrow. What in particular is the trouble with Nolan and family dynamic

Sleep well, it's just getting it down in a way that feels natural. I mean it's simple enough saying Raven's shy, but I want to physically show it in as few words as possible. But it's not just raven being shy, it's the awkward tension she has with Debbie, the rivalry with Blackfrie, the unexpected friendship with Ravager. Against its getting a lot of information down in a short period.

And since all these character are main ones, and going to be very important moving forward I have to get it down perfectly. Especially since this is the beginning when the action is a little slow, I need the relationships and characters to act as my hook.

Too much at once. Let's start crafting a scene

Hey, how was your day? Just finished some homemade BLT's which were pretty good. Watch this gay.

That's super sweet and not at all how they are portrayed in canon. Now you, you don't need a lot. Only seeds of character personality

And scene crafting. I feel like we've already been it over a couple different times. Barbecue with a nostalgic Debbie, thinking about her life and kids. Nolan getting a call from the Justice league. A quick battle scene against the Flaxions that also acts as a nice intro to the current Justice league roster with a hint at the end of Ceil leading Cadmus.

But yes it was super sweet, and unironically the PUNK Girl song is a banger. I mentioned a bunch of Zoomer Lesbain's got involved in the fandom, and they made a bunch of stuff like this.

So where are the girls between this and how do they react to Nolan leaving and how does Debbie calm them? There is your personality exposition

That actually works really well. I can't believe I didn't think of that.