Questionable Questing

Make it more ambitious how screwed up or magical the resort is. Maybe have it be an extended trip/rehab at a tropical resort or an invitation to a classy gate community. But make sure to hide how it all really works at least at first. Make it a little like a horror movie where you just noticed little things that are subtly off.

Weird rules, places your not allowed to see, complementary foods/drinks that cause weird dreams. Really take your time with the worldbuilding and tension.

And with the update, not a whole lot going on but I get its the groundwork for some bigger moving parts and plots.

I'd have all the povs be watching demon servants or the Lucifer. The corrupting gaze. As the inhabitants are demonized they go deeper beneath the first layers of the resort to find the demonic under city and see the hedonistic eden the demon king has made.


While the Charlie figure fights for sanity and to stop the degradation

How you like Pallus and Melisandre's bits

Melisandre is a crazy bitch and just a tad bit arrogant, but seeing her fail being a preacher to the horny and wary Northerners is simultaneously pitiful and pretty funny. At least she got some nice steamy sex with her new boytoy Hurrik, and the fact she calls him a boy despite his authority and dick over her is also a nice funny touch.

What you think of the crisis of faith bit we did

Pretty much inevitable. Hurrik's been pretty welcoming to all religions and has been actively trying to recruit anyone who will move out to basically a ruin at the moment, so you have a bunch of different religions mingling around, all with various power and even the gods peering in and occasionally interfering. There were bound to be problems at some point.

Is her character interesting and how was Kelsey?

And with Meli in particular, she's going through a pretty rough time. Not just with going from one of the strongest magic users on the planet to basically a nobody in a couple of years, but also from what it sounds like R'hllors been struggling with the transition and the number of new gods on the playing field as well.

And you combine all that with being forcibly exposed to a brand new continent away from everything she's known filled with new religions, it was bound to cause some introspection even in the most paranoid fanatic. Plus I think she's likes Hurrik and his wildling toy a lot more than she'll ever admit so it's been forcing her to really think about what he wants and what she herself lacks.

She's not taking the everyone has magic now so I'm not God's special girl well

She acts more like a bratty little sister screaming that her brother won't pay attention to her, than the supposed few hundred year old sorcerer she claims to be. lol.

I like that. Easy to humanize. Question, you want to chat your Hazbin Hotel AU?

Sure, if you're in a Hazbin mood. It's been awhile since I've focused on it so I might be a little rusty though.

So what was trouble last time?

What trouble?

You said you didn't like first chapter result

2 very devoted daughters.

Oh, I thought we already talked about this a couple times. I rushed in too quickly and didn't give enough focuses to the action, emotion, or world building needed for a satisfying first chapter.