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  1. Crime Fiction, no title; submitted with others for public review

    I used "these" instead of those because the police are present in the scene. If I was thinking about someone with me, I probably wouldn't think in terms of "those guys," but instead "these." Maybe "lacked the sharpness needed" could be replaced by "weren't sharp enough"? The rest is very good.

  2. Crime Fiction, no title; submitted with others for public review

    (Since this is my first post here, I'll give a little intro. I'm a writer who blogs on Wordpress, and does paid commissions to share my love of writing with others. The viewers on Wordpress haven't been vocal, and I thrive on comments and constructive critique, so I wanted to branch out of...

  3. I'm a commission writer who posts on Wordpress! If you want to see more of my work, check out...

    I'm a commission writer who posts on Wordpress! If you want to see more of my work, check out sandscarwriting.wordpress.com.
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