seeing_octarine
Unverified Colour
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- Jan 17, 2015
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If you think you're slow, what does that say about the people here who perpetually can't seem to find the Like button?
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Why not?... I can't believe you were allowed to post the entire chapter on SB. This was a good update.
Thank you for your hard work!
I've actually gone and put an A/N up front:Yeah, Spacebattle's reputation for prudishness is earned, but it's not that bad. Using underage characters makes things a lot stricter, but if you use adults exclusively it's pretty much just 'don't write smut'.
Side-note: Any form of underage applies the underage limit. If the characters only look underage (no lolibabas), it counts. For fanfics, if they're underage in canon but not in the fic, it counts. If the characters are underage but don't look underage, it counts.
Oh, they'll be mortified.I'm sure there will be a smidgen of embarrassment once everyone sobers up.
Which just means that they'll have to balance that out with a repeat performance while sober. Purely for science, of course.
Perhaps a family gathering in the new BB chapel after polygamy is legalized? While Atropos forbade actual worship of herself, I imagine a few St. Mary statues are going to be found wearing fedoras and three-piece suits.
The trio will go one to spend 1/3 of their combined income on batteries and adopt a literal army of cats. After a bit of biotinkering by Amy, the now-sapient felines will conclude that world domination really is too much work when their kind is already worshipped.
Crystal will cop it from Sarah and Carol. (Neil and Mark will stay the HELL out of it).
Anne will just keep her head down, while her parents are Disappointed at her.
Melanie will have no idea how to handle it. When/if the Crew finds out, Newter will laugh himself sick.
The main reason it will be a scandal is because Anne and Crystal were drinking underage. (They're 19-20, while Faultline is 22-23).Honestly, not sure why? It was consensual(-ish, given that everyone was drunk). It's not like anyone broke out whips and an Atropos cosplay halfway through.
Do you think it's because one of the participants was a villain? Or because alcohol was involved? Honestly, of all the ways to find yourself in a threesome, this was probably the safest/most wholesome way.
After which I'm hoping she'll rebel by going for Round 2. The Barnes family doesn't have too much moral superiority to stand on.
Melanie will have vengeance (eventually). Turns out Newter makes an excellent flower girl when stuffed into a dress.
It was more a case of bi-curiosity plus alcohol plus sexual frustration, but a case could be made for it.Melanie, Anne, and Crystal is a relationship I never knew I needed, but I am exceedingly delighted to see happen.
Hopefully the three of them will be able to have a happier time once the drunk wears off and they can all sit down and decide that they might want to give it a try.
Melanie especially could use being something other then Team Mom in her civilian life.
And hey, she probably is one hell of a bartender so that is a plus.
The main reason it will be a scandal is because Anne and Crystal were drinking underage.
Don't forget: a public hero team that has as part of its ethos the whole idea of cape accountability.Is....is drinking while slightly underage, while living in a literal death world, while serving as an active member of a hero team, actually remotely scandal-worthy?
I feel like that's the thing that would only get mentioned on the absolute slowest news day only on the more disreputable news stations (such as Earth Bets version of Fox).
"Laserdream of New Wave caught drinking underage and participating in wild orgy."
The actual cops hadn't shown up yet; neither had the PRT. The impression she got was that the College also wanted this kept as low-key as possible, so they were dragging their heels as much as possible on informing the real authorities. Moreover, she was pretty sure she'd figured out why.
By whom? Why? Roommate walks in, sees lesbian threesome aftermath between adults... calls cops? What kind of college is this?!
On the contrary.By whom? Why? Roommate walks in, sees lesbian threesome aftermath between adults... calls cops? What kind of college is this?!
Yeah, it's because nothing interesting happened that's worth police attention. Underage drinking on college campus is a) not unusual, b) not something they're going to care about in Brockton Bay, c) not something that's obvious based on bedhead, and most importantly d) not something that would result in a call to police in the first place.
This reads like "author wants confrontation over this, manufacturers completely unrealistic scenario to force confrontation". I was completely thrown out of the story by how unbelievable this entire sequence was.
Basically, I decided that some asshole in the dorm put it on PHO that Laserdream was not just into girls, but into two girls at once, and the back and forth yelling between Anne, Crystal, the asshole, Crystal's friends, the asshole's friends and so forth is what caused security to be called.
It wasn't her roommate. Just someone else in the same dorm.And there shouldn't be.
That's kinda the direction I thought you were going with it. I just don't believe it. It doesn't sound like the kind of thing that would happen. First, her roommate would have to either BE that complete asshole (and why would someone as well-off as Laserdream even HAVE a roommate, let alone one likely to be such a dick?!), or let others into the room... which is essentially the same as being that asshole. Second, someone has to be OK fucking with a cape, a hero at that, and one who's on a team with a high-profile lawyer whose sister (in-law?) was MURDERED the last time someone fucked with one them, in the same town where Atropos is flat-out executing anyone who bothers her. Third, it has to escalate to a huge kerfuffle, which it wouldn't because nobody would care in the first place. And fourth, somehow the underage alcohol has to become public because being a lesbian isn't a crime, nor is yelling at your dickish dorm-mates.
Yeah, I get it, and I did before this post. I just find it incredibly hard to believe any of that would happen. It all seems completely contrived as a way to force an unnecessary story beat. If you want to find a way to show Faultline standing up to or even just interacting with the Barnses and New Wave, there are near-infinite numbers of more believable ways to do it.
And just because you don't believe it doesn't make it impossible to happen.
Atropos isn't "flat-out executing everyone who bothers her". She gives two warnings first. They get a chance. And this isn't a villain thing. This is a college kids being dicks thing.
The underage drinking would become public IF the actual cops got involved.
One more time.Even if the roommate wasn't the one who posted it, she was the one who broadcast it so that it could be posted, or let someone else in to do so. So, asshole either way. Roommates don't publicize one another's business, especially sexual business.
Have you ever done security work?No, but "physically possible" and "reasonably plausible" aren't the same thing. I'm telling you that what you wrote isn't anywhere near the latter and gave you five or six reasons why, any one of which would negate that entire scenario. What you do with that is on you, which as always will of course be nothing. You don't seem to care that every so often you write scenarios that are not believable by people with two brain cells to rub together, but that doesn't mean I'll stop pointing them out.
1. College students can be real dicks.Way to ignore the four other obstacles to plausibility in that same sentence. And you accuse ME of not reading what you're writing.
Which neither they nor the campus cops would without it (or likely even with it), since students having screaming matches in the halls happens every day in dorms and threesomes and lesbianism aren't crimes. And given that TWO capes were involved in this, one of them a known villain, they wouldn't touch this with a fifty foot pole. Assuming it avoided all the other obstacles to ever getting to a screaming match in the first place, which is unlikely.
You have a long-standing habit of misinterpreting what I'm writing, nitpicking what you don't misinterpret, and ignoring (or dismissing) my explanations of why you're wrong.You clearly are closed to any critical commentary on your writing.
As per normal.
I've said this before, but if all you want is glowing praise, don't post online. Most of what you write is pretty good, which is why I read it. But most isn't all and that means you will have the remainder pointed out if you post on the internet. Reacting like a scalded cat every time just makes you look petty. And attacking the writer rather than addressing the argument, as you regularly do... well, that says a lot there, too.
We also call them RAs, at least in some states; it may vary.then yes, the RA (don't know what they call them in the US) would indeed call in security.
This reads like "author wants confrontation over this, manufacturers completely unrealistic scenario to force confrontation". I was completely thrown out of the story by how unbelievable this entire sequence was.