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A New Player in the Force (SW/Gamer)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by USSExplorer, Apr 24, 2020.

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  1. randomchance

    randomchance Not too sore, are you?

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    This whole chapter was awesome, thank you!
     
  2. A/N

    A/N Versed in the lewd.

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    I'd be worried about his fall if he couldn't levitate, teleport, phase through matter, and hadn't just overwhelmed a crusier's shields with power to spare and apparently casually tossed one of its engines at another ship. That much mass accelerated fast enough to matter? He should be able to slow his fall with no difficulty at all. He's too skilled and strong for that to be something he'd have to actually worry about.
     
  3. alec_potter

    alec_potter I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Yay for the update.

    Loved the way of giving a glimpse of Plagius to Cam.
    Plagius should have realised that the attack was planned by Sidious. Could this lead to infighting. Def a MAJOR change to plot line. Bigger than change in Dooku I bet.
    Hope Cam remembers to mention the dark side feeling to Dooku.

    I hope Cam plays offence in the next chapter. It’s a great opportunity to reaffirm his reputation as a fighter and military leader with the Mando. And he has a great team to fight with him. Girk, Rook. Bo, Naz all are capable fighters. Just hope the third person with Naz isn’t her cousin and Girk’s brother.
    Though I doubt you or Fay or the High Council will let Cam (and us) enjoy the coming war. :mad:

    Sidious is a master manipulator. But this looks like Death Watch is going to be badly fucked in retribution by rest of the Mando. Attacking Sundari they might have supported but attacking where their children train is sure shot way to make life long enemies.

    Thanks for the update.
     
  4. Taliesin

    Taliesin Getting sticky.

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    This was a fun chapter, although it struck me as kind of odd that so many fighters almost hit him. The sky is a very big place, and a person is a small target. There shouldn't have been that much of a risk unless they were trying to ram him deliberately.
     
  5. Miestwin

    Miestwin Monster on the outside, bishoujo on the inside

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    Good stuff.
    I still do not know what Cam wanted to do when he said that he always wanted to do that. You mean swing on a grapling like Spiderman? What?
     
  6. Lone-sith

    Lone-sith Getting sticky.

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    Only cam. Also, I think that what he sensed was Plagueis
     
  7. RaptorusMaximus

    RaptorusMaximus Not too sore, are you?

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    Great chapter but

    I'm like, 99% sure that Concord Dawn is a planet in its own system, not Mandalore's moon. Mandalore's moon is called Concordia, so I can understand how you might make that mistake.

    Still, that's my only nitpic. Looking forward to the Deathwatch slaughter next chapter. And the absolutely enormous telling-off Cam is gonna get from Fay and Douku.
     
  8. rad

    rad Making the rounds.

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    Heh, fun. I'm guessing that when the MC publishes the book that they will not enjoy the very blatant bits saying that love and other positive emotions are good things for Jedi and can redeem them.

    The fact that the MC is also having to realize his skills are just the rote skills rather than actual mastery is good. Way to many series tend to overlook that and it is good to see here.

    Though, one complaint I do have to put out there is "Are they still on Namek?" Please don't tell me there is going to be a fight that takes five minutes either.
     
  9. Dragoon321

    Dragoon321 I have questions, but please don't answer.

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    My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. Have a like just for the suffering you caused with that single line.
     
  10. guest-nobody-important

    guest-nobody-important Versed in the lewd.

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    ...oh for the love of the Force please don't let him be easy friends with Obi-Wan &/or Anakin in the future, the galaxy won't be able to survive the amount of snark the three of them would unleash...
     
  11. USSExplorer

    USSExplorer Doing what's necessary, even if it causes chaos

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    You'll have to wait and see about what the next chapter brings, but the third person is not Tiber Saxon (mainly bc Cam would probably be inclined to arrange an accident for him).

    Try Batman ;)

    My bad. Not sure how that slipped by me and the backroom.

    Well they were already planning to take him away for a 'spiritual retreat' after Mandalore, so they'll have months to ream him a new one for being a 'bad Jedi'.

    What can I say except "You're Welcome!" :D

    Hmm, winning entire wars just by snarking the enemy into submission... Interesting :cool:
     
  12. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Experienced.

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    Hey shit talking your enemy is a canon ability.
     
  13. Taliesin

    Taliesin Getting sticky.

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    I really want someone to make the point that the whole reason the Jedi Order exists as a martial organization, instead of a bunch of cloistered mystics, is to use their powers to protect people. If they get so caught up in debating what to do that they cannot act when people are in danger right in front of them, then they've failed in their primary purpose.

    From there, there's an even deeper point that could be made. Dark side users indulge in anger, fear, and hatred to such a degree that it affects their cognition in profoundly negative ways. Light side users are much more functional, but is it perhaps possible that constantly reaching for inner peace and serenity has the side effect of making users more inclined to be passive?

    Honestly, I'm disappointed with Fay for her dithering in this chapter, and Cam should be disappointed in her too. She needs to remember the choice that made her such a great master; to simply follow the Force's lead. That's the path of action, rather than the traps the Coruscanti Jedi tend to fall into.
     
  14. Solusandra

    Solusandra Foxes are Fantastic

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    they would foolishly consider it a waste of your abilities. And probably call it a crutch rather than practical control exercise.
    ...dude. Levitation. Also, if you're going to blind teleport and fall more, you should learn Flight, as well. If you can tear off a cruisers engine and levitate, flight should be a cinch.
    ........levitation and teleportation. Gaaaaaah!
    oh, finally...
    the dark side is the bad friend who always agrees with you, and eggs you on regardless the situation or emotion. Could be good could be bad, but always, always wild.


    Well, that was fun. Glad to see you back dude, Happy turkey day! Or,well, black friday, given where Im at and how late im reading this. CHEERS!
    oh, no, please DO...
     
  15. TheLostArchivist

    TheLostArchivist Identifies as a Greater Dragon.

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    I am now dearly hoping this happens at some point in the future...
     
  16. Solusandra

    Solusandra Foxes are Fantastic

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    This leaves me curious though. What's going to happen to the EU book where Obi-wan rescues satine from....damn, I forgot who, but it's right after this conflict thing where her dad's killed. Obi has a small romance with her and then leaves her as dutchess rather than staying like she asked him to. Is that even going to happen, with her on courisant?
     
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  17. Taliesin

    Taliesin Getting sticky.

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    I don't think she actually asks him to stay while he's a Padawan; the attraction between them both is unspoken. In The Clone Wars series, Obi-wan tells her at one point, "If you had said the word, I would have left the Jedi order."
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2021
  18. Solusandra

    Solusandra Foxes are Fantastic

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    Hmm... well, my memory of that book is spotty at best.
     
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  19. The Dude

    The Dude Verified Not Jeff Bridges

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    I have but one response to that: "How appropriate, you fight like a cow."
     
    CmirDarthanna likes this.
  20. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Experienced.

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    I don't know how cows fight but I'll assume it involves explosive projectile diarrhea.
     
    Solusandra likes this.
  21. Solusandra

    Solusandra Foxes are Fantastic

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    they trample mostly. They can't gore like bulls, but they can still charge, coordinate easily and have an awful lot of mass
     
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  22. Taliesin

    Taliesin Getting sticky.

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    Youtube 'Cows with Guns'. Oldie but a goodie.
     
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  23. The Dude

    The Dude Verified Not Jeff Bridges

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    I take it you've never played Monkey Island and dealt with the "Insult Sword Fighting" thing?
     
    CmirDarthanna likes this.
  24. TroubleFait

    TroubleFait Making the rounds.

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    Yeah, killed my immersion at first. Either they deliberately tried to ram the falling Padawan, or what he felt was just the draft generated by such fighters flying so fast in atmosphere (which could definitely kill him, and as he had his eyes closed he likely couldn't see the difference).

    So yeah, either it was very fast winds, or they tried to hit him. There's just no way they all happened to go his way.
     
  25. Solusandra

    Solusandra Foxes are Fantastic

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    well, he IS tweaking the forces nose just by existing, and it cried out when he got those heart of the force upgrades so they could have been there by what the fighters saw as pure coincidence, but is really the force grinding its teeth and trying to kill him
     
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  26. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Experienced.

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    Or it's all a Sith plot to see how far he can go.
     
  27. USSExplorer

    USSExplorer Doing what's necessary, even if it causes chaos

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    A bit of both. There's one where he clearly grabs the wing of a fighter, but the other was meant to just be wind sheer.
    Though with his eyes closed and trying to control his tumbling, Cam has no way to know that.

    Is that why this happened? No
    Would the Sith do such a thing if they could arrange it? Possibly.
     
  28. JohnCross

    JohnCross Getting out there.

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    I'm just... curious. Is Cameron/Fay ship possible?
     
  29. USSExplorer

    USSExplorer Doing what's necessary, even if it causes chaos

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    The odds are... not 0, but closer to that than 1.

    The age/philosophical differences between the pair make it extremely unlikely that pairing could/whould work.
     
  30. karay

    karay ,

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    Aside from the sexual tension present with no smut in the future, a very nice story.
     
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