A New Player in the Force (SW/Lite Gamer)

[USSExplorer]

What's the point in the Gamer System when it doesn't add nearly anything to the story?

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It's hard to feel elated at progress the MC makes when it's just hard nerfed at times when it should work.

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I'm not going to go too in to it but Gamer's Mind is kinda what defines Gamers, it basically a free pass for authors to force that story forward and you're literally nerfing your own character to accelerate the plot, which I understand and might've been done the same but it still kinda pushes my button.

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To all three of you, Cam doesn't have "The Gamer System", he has always had a light version of it; hence why since day 1 I've called it things like "Player's Mind" and "Player's Body". Also both abilities were altered back in the system update when Cam was 11. I know that was a very long time ago, and I know that's not how other Gamer systems/stories work, but it is how this one does.

Gamer's Mind is... a broken ability that removes narrative tension from the majority of Gamer-styled stories if it isn't "nerfed" from the get-go, as was done here.

I really appreciate you giving him weaknesses like the Gamer Mind not always working, because otherwise it'll probably be pretty boring

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Aye, which is why it's not the 'out-and-out' Gamer's Mind that he has.

 

[PgX27]

To all three of you, Cam doesn't have "The Gamer System", he has always had a light version of it; hence why since day 1 I've called it things like "Player's Mind" and "Player's Body". Also both abilities were altered back in the system update when Cam was 11. I know that was a very long time ago, and I know that's not how other Gamer systems/stories work, but it is how this one does.

Gamer's Mind is... a broken ability that removes narrative tension from the majority of Gamer-styled stories if it isn't "nerfed" from the get-go, as was done here.

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I remember the alteration. I just don't get why you have the system at all when it has almost no real effect at all to story. If you take it away, it would change almost nothing.

 

[Goudeauboywade]

Fenrir

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The goodest boy and OOF dark side shit is not to be messed with. Kreia teaching 101- The force lies not all the time but enough of the time you must be weary of it. Kreia teaching 102- The darkside wants to enslave you and light wants to blind you. Kreia teaching 103- the force does not care about you…until it suddenly does and at that point you should be worried. Cam must learn all these if he wants to survive the oncoming storms.

 

[USSExplorer]

I remember the alteration. I just don't get why you have the system at all when it has almost no real effect at all to story. If you take it away, it would change almost nothing.

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When I started, I knew a full Gamer system would break things in SW, so I nerfed it - so to speak.
However, I didn't know how much even a limited system would disrupt the story. IF I was to restart, I'd go without a lot of the Gamer elements, much as I've done in my ASOIAF story, but I'm not rebooting this. Hence the evolution to slowly limit the Gamer influences on the story/Cam

 

[Reynard69]

Gamer's Mind is... a broken ability that removes narrative tension from the majority of Gamer-styled stories if it isn't "nerfed" from the get-go, as was done here.

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Eh, it's more broken in fanfic than it is in "The Gamer". Most fanfics make it a liability or a justification for extreme Internet Tough Guy chuni shit they were gonna do anyway; in "The Gamer" it was primarily a shield against psychic attacks and chickenshits. It was described in "The Gamer" as: If you saw this on the other side of the screen, how would you react?

 

[USSExplorer]

Beyond that please don't just drop some rape or sexual abuse to our main characters

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character development of Aayla being raped would only degrade her character

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Neither Bo nor Aayla are getting raped, tortured or assaulted. They weren't captured. It might not have been clear while we were in Cam's POV, but he and Dooku were the targets for "The Priestess" - If you don't know who that is, I'm not spoiling the surprise - the rest are just collateral.

 

[PgX27]

When I started, I knew a full Gamer system would break things in SW, so I nerfed it - so to speak.
However, I didn't know how much even a limited system would disrupt the story. IF I was to restart, I'd go without a lot of the Gamer elements, much as I've done in my ASOIAF story, but I'm not rebooting this. Hence the evolution to slowly limit the Gamer influences on the story/Cam

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But what's the point of the system he has now? What does it add? It is meant to give the user benefits, but when those benefits are only there sometimes and never in important moments, then what's the point.
The main draw of the system, of any similar system, is to be able to develop skills and abilities that would usually take years in a shorter amount of time. To learn things much faster, and to have benefits no one else has that helps the character be different from those around them.
It doesn't have to be a power fantasy, but when the benefits of an integral part of the story is only there when it isn't important to have it, but never when it is needed and important, it isn't really a benefit at all, now is it?
This leads to situations where we know Can has powers and abilities that should help him, is expected to help him, but doesn't because that ruins the story or plot. What's the point in the training and growth, the very progression in his skills and abilities when they just don't work whenever they are needed. It not only seems forced but makes the abilities and skills seem utterly useless.

I like the story for the most part, I think it's writing quality is superb, and the plot has its moments. It just makes me disappointed that what was meant to be an integral part of the story is completely meaningless.

 

[Reynard69]

What does it add?

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a way for cam to track his progress. And keep it without need for continual practice.

 

[PgX27]

a way for cam to track his progress. And keep it without need for continual practice.

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Which has no direct effect on the story considering he is always training.

 

[LuciferBael]

But what's the point of the system he has now? What does it add? It is meant to give the user benefits, but when those benefits are only there sometimes and never in important moments, then what's the point.
The main draw of the system, of any similar system, is to be able to develop skills and abilities that would usually take years in a shorter amount of time. To learn things much faster, and to have benefits no one else has that helps the character be different from those around them.
It doesn't have to be a power fantasy, but when the benefits of an integral part of the story is only there when it isn't important to have it, but never when it is needed and important, it isn't really a benefit at all, now is it?
This leads to situations where we know Can has powers and abilities that should help him, is expected to help him, but doesn't because that ruins the story or plot. What's the point in the training and growth, the very progression in his skills and abilities when they just don't work whenever they are needed. It not only seems forced but makes the abilities and skills seem utterly useless.

I like the story for the most part, I think it's writing quality is superb, and the plot has its moments. It just makes me disappointed that what was meant to be an integral part of the story is completely meaningless.

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You realize it has accelerated hos growth right? He is a high knight lvl combatant with less than a decade of training

 

[USSExplorer]

The main draw of the system, of any similar system, is to be able to develop skills and abilities that would usually take years in a shorter amount of time. To learn things much faster, and to have benefits no one else has that helps the character be different from those around them.

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He does learn things much, much faster than others. That's never been in debate, I don't think, though there is a limit to what he can learn based on the tiers (which was intentional from the get go). I didn't want Cam being a God at everything, just very -> insanely good at most things. More so than anyone else could ever hope to be in the same timeframe.

This leads to situations where we know Can has powers and abilities that should help him, is expected to help him, but doesn't because that ruins the story or plot.

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Hmm, how so? Cam tried to use Phase here early on, but that resulted in a shock as the Dark Side screwed with him. That's entirely in keeping with how the Force works (going by two ppl with far, far more EU knowledge than me). He did try to use the ability, but he was blindsided by the DS having never tried to use the power there.

What's the point in the training and growth, the very progression in his skills and abilities when they just don't work whenever they are needed. It not only seems forced but makes the abilities and skills seem utterly useless.

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To reference an example of this (not sure if it was from you or someone else earlier) with TK.
Cam kills the ones he throws around with TK when he's in control. If he wants to. Turning an opponent into mush is... pointless and distracting.
Then using TK to take down ships... That's a big thing yes, but it's not and never has been instant. It takes time to focus, to overcome the shields on the ships before he can disable them (he rips off engines not rips them in half as again, pointless violence)

There is progression there. But he has, in the words of Dooku, incredible power with TK, but a lack of refinement. He can do big, impressive things but the smaller, more subtle tricks are still being learnt (ref the training scene back with Tra Saa when he had to move the block over the metal without them touching)

Also, and this is a big pev of mine (but not one I'm aiming specifically at you) but just because, when reading from it outside of the events, we can think of other ways (not always better, just different) than Cam or any other OC does, then that's unfair to the OC and writer.

As a reader, there are moments where I think, "I'd have done that differently" but I understand that I'm not there, not experiencing everything that's happening to the OC (outside of the ones I write). Yes, there will be times when every writer has a moment where a reader goes "That's not what he should do" but what the OC did in a situation - especially in Cam's case her where he doesn't even realise just how much the DS is screwing with his mind - is to them, logical in the moment.

Afterward, they might think otherwise, but in the moment, it'd fine.

 

[Reynard69]

Which has no direct effect on the story considering he is always training.

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How so? A LARGE part of long training times is maintainance and spinning in circles. The gamer system shows him when he's progressing and halts degeneration of skills he's not constantly training. Those together would cut out 95%+ of normal IRL training time.

That's not even considering the Inventory and Observe which, afaik, starwars has no equivilent force power for. I'd wax poetic about quests too, but that whole "guided by the force" thing Jedii are supposed to do more or less covers that.

 

[PgX27]

He does learn things much, much faster than others. That's never been in debate, I don't think, though there is a limit to what he can learn based on the tiers (which was intentional from the get go). I didn't want Cam being a God at everything, just very -> insanely good at most things. More so than anyone else could ever hope to be in the same timeframe.



Hmm, how so? Cam tried to use Phase here early on, but that resulted in a shock as the Dark Side screwed with him. That's entirely in keeping with how the Force works (going by two ppl with far, far more EU knowledge than me). He did try to use the ability, but he was blindsided by the DS having never tried to use the power there.



To reference an example of this (not sure if it was from you or someone else earlier) with TK.
Cam kills the ones he throws around with TK when he's in control. If he wants to. Turning an opponent into mush is... pointless and distracting.
Then using TK to take down ships... That's a big thing yes, but it's not and never has been instant. It takes time to focus, to overcome the shields on the ships before he can disable them (he rips off engines not rips them in half as again, pointless violence)

There is progression there. But he has, in the words of Dooku, incredible power with TK, but a lack of refinement. He can do big, impressive things but the smaller, more subtle tricks are still being learnt (ref the training scene back with Tra Saa when he had to move the block over the metal without them touching)

Also, and this is a big pev of mine (but not one I'm aiming specifically at you) but just because, when reading from it outside of the events, we can think of other ways (not always better, just different) than Cam or any other OC does, then that's unfair to the OC and writer.

As a reader, there are moments where I think, "I'd have done that differently" but I understand that I'm not there, not experiencing everything that's happening to the OC (outside of the ones I write). Yes, there will be times when every writer has a moment where a reader goes "That's not what he should do" but what the OC did in a situation - especially in Cam's case her where he doesn't even realise just how much the DS is screwing with his mind - is to them, logical in the moment.

Afterward, they might think otherwise, but in the moment, it'd fine.

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I am not talking about what he did, I'm talking about how everything he has is pretty much useless when it's needed. Let's just ignore the system for a second and go back to the Kyrat dragon. He is a force user, it's the main point, yet we had several chapters where he couldn't use his abilities to the fullest. Okay, fine. Just don't make it a regular occurrence, because then he just doesn't need to be a force user at all. Just make him a super soldier and you get the same effect.

But the situation with the Phase is exactly what I am talking about. What's the fucking point in the ability when he can't fucking use it when he needs it. He is powerful with telekinesis, but can't use it because the dark side is strong around him. What does it help that he is strong with telekinesis when he can't use it. Don't just give him abilities and skills, then make him unable to use it. Almost the entire mandalorian arc, he was unable to use his abilities. Now he can't use them to save his life. I'm sorry but that's stupid. You said he can't use fine control with his telekinesis but can turn someone into mush. So why doesn't he when he is backed up to the wall.

It's one thing to have the character not think of something, which becomes a bad plot device really quick. It's another to nullify his abilities every time they are needed. Just don't let him have the abilities then from the start. It solves the entire thing, because then we won't have a situation where you have to take something he should be able to use to solve a problem, away, just so that he can have some trouble.

You realize it has accelerated hos growth right? He is a high knight lvl combatant with less than a decade of training

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A Knight that lost against cultists. Because of a dark side room ruining his concentration because he couldn't use "Players mind". We know he is strong but it doesn't seem to be so because of plot. And because his abilities just doesn't work, making them absolutely useless.

 

[PgX27]

How so? A LARGE part of long training times is maintainance and spinning in circles. The gamer system shows him when he's progressing and halts degeneration of skills he's not constantly training. Those together would cut out 95%+ of normal IRL training time.

That's not even considering the Inventory and Observe which, afaik, starwars has no equivilent force power for. I'd wax poetic about quests too, but that whole "guided by the force" thing Jedii are supposed to do more or less covers that.

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Yet these have no direct effect on the story. Take them away, and could still progress faster than usual, just like Anakin. We have had beings that after less than ten years have matched the levels of beings who have trained for thirty to hundreds of years (Starkiller, Darth Nox, Emperors Wrath, Hero of Tython, Luke Skywalker, who only trained for three years before he matched Vader).

What does the Inventory help when he can't use it when he needs it, like against the Krayt Dragon.

Observe is the only one I can agree on, yet he is unable to act on all the information he has gathered from it.

 

[Reynard69]

Yet these have no direct effect on the story. Take them away, and could still progress faster than usual, just like Anakin. We have had beings that after less than ten years have matched the levels of beings who have trained for thirty to hundreds of years (Starkiller, Darth Nox, Emperors Wrath, Hero of Tython, Luke Skywalker, who only trained for three years before he matched Vader).

What does the Inventory help when he can't use it when he needs it, like against the Krayt Dragon.

Observe is the only one I can agree on, yet he is unable to act on Alamo all the information he has gathered from it.

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and without the perks from the Gamer system, he wouldn't be on their level.

 

[PgX27]

and without the perks from the Gamer system, he wouldn't be on their level.

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That's exactly my point. Take away the system and give him the force potential straight on, and it would be exactly the same.

 

[USSExplorer]

What's the fucking point in the ability when he can't fucking use it when he needs it. He is powerful with telekinesis, but can't use it because the dark side is strong around him

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Do you even understand how the DS affects those strong in the Force when they try to use even 'simple' powers for the first time?
It twists and disrupts everything about a Jedi's connection to the Force fit even something simple like precog. For a power that requires doing insane things like Phase, it means opening up your mind entirely to the Force. Which Can did and he got overwhelmed by how corrupted the Force was on Kidriff. In the future, he'll be less affected but this is the first time he's tried doing something as powerful/consuming as Phase in a place strong in the DS.

So why doesn't he when he is backed up to the wall

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He does though. He uses TK in the battle to take out oppoents, shattering them against walls. He doesn't turn them to paste bc he still has control at that point, but later, as the DS starts to take hold of his mind, he loses control and gives in to the rage. Ala Anakin in RotS. If Anakin was used to the DS he'd have stomped Obi-Wan (not clear in the movie, I grant you, by clear in the novelisation and later EU books).
You don't drop someone into a horror situation and except them to instantly and always act logically and rashly. That's just not a natural reaction.

A Knight that Lost against cultists

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He didn't lose to the cutlists. Not in a fighting sense. He blacked out due to Force Exhaustion. Which is a real thing.

That trap was designed to wear down the targets, make them push too far and pass out. Which is exactly how Can was at the end. And what the Preistess wanted.

 

[Lotharogar]

There is also the successfully planned ambush aspect, it makes the target of the ambush much less capable of using their true strenght, which makes Cam and Dooku look weak, and this is fine for me because it will make the other characters do their best to save them and have their time to shine.

 

[PgX27]

Do you even understand how the DS affects those strong in the Force when they try to use even 'simple' powers for the first time?
It twists and disrupts everything about a Jedi's connection to the Force fit even something simple like precog. For a power that requires doing insane things like Phase, it means opening up your mind entirely to the Force. Which Can did and he got overwhelmed by how corrupted the Force was on Kidriff. In the future, he'll be less affected but this is the first time he's tried doing something as powerful/consuming as Phase in a place strong in the DS.



He does though. He uses TK in the battle to take out oppoents, shattering them against walls. He doesn't turn them to paste bc he still has control at that point, but later, as the DS starts to take hold of his mind, he loses control and gives in to the rage. Ala Anakin in RotS. If Anakin was used to the DS he'd have stomped Obi-Wan (not clear in the movie, I grant you, by clear in the novelisation and later EU books).
You don't drop someone into a horror situation and except them to instantly and always act logically and rashly. That's just not a natural reaction.



He didn't lose to the cutlists. Not in a fighting sense. He blacked out due to Force Exhaustion. Which is a real thing.

That trap was designed to wear down the targets, make them push too far and pass out. Which is exactly how Can was at the end. And what the Preistess wanted.

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You and I clearly have two different views on how the force works, especially the Dark Side.

I still find the rest to be absolutely ridiculous and sort of ruining the very point of the story, the character and the System he is meant to have. But hey, it's your story, you are allowed to write it however you want. Can't wait for Cam to actually grow stronger in a noticeable way some 600k+ words later, when his abilities actually has some effect and can be used how they should be used. Unless they are nerfed or taken away for some reason so that he can have some challenge.

 

[MemeticsChosen]

While I have enjoyed the story on the whole, and continue to do so, I do have to agree with the others commenting here. This could be almost the same experience without the Gamer, or maybe more accurately, Player System, since this thing underwent some chunky nerfs, and seems to focus more on Cam being a Player Character Of A Game rather than a Gamer Playing A Game. While it probably makes for a stronger story overall, it also feels almost disingenuous slapping it right by Star Wars in the title, as if it's an equal crossover in any sense. It's not, the Force absolutely trounces the System, and in every single scenario barring, maybe Observe, will continue to do so, at least from what I can tell from where I'm sitting.

One thing I have to ask is this: Will the System offer anything that Cam's liable to use regularly, that isn't just a bog-standard mind, body, soul, force, or training booster? That's the sort of thing I live for in games, those perks that offer special effects that can make you reevaluate everything you've been doing, open up new options that can revitalize the playing experience. To use Fallout as an example, Mysterious Stranger, if I'm playing a high luck character, can make me want to just pop off single shots every time I dip into V.A.T.S. for a bigger chance of him coming in for a lower ammo cost, and I'm always fond of Jury Rigging letting me actually play with rare weapons and armor that I'd be hard-pressed to repair otherwise.

I'm genuinely unsure if we've had anything like that, bar Observe and Eidetic Memory, and... Well, frankly, it makes sense how he did it, but Cam's stretched Eidetic Memory about as much as Taylor from Worm stretches her main power to turn it into yet another training booster, albeit probably more minor than we realize given the entire system is also a training booster, and I've seen someone else complain about Observe being underutilized already, what with the general lack of directly actionable information it gives, instead focusing on the long view, which, fair enough, it's your story and that's the pace and scale that's been set, but I get why it's a complaint. This story's heavily weighted in favor of the Force and it's powers, and it kind of feels like the System is more just being used as a prop to make those Protagonist-Tier for Star Wars and being used for almost nothing else.

I think, striking at the heart of all of this, it'd be fair to say that the complaints are mostly about how this doesn't feel like a Gamer story, I think. It feels like a Star Wars story, through and through, despite the System. Gamers are immensely unbalancing factors that tend to work to strike up unfair builds and destabilize the setting they're placed in. That's the main plot of The Gamer, he's a superpower that showed up overnight. That's not what Cam is, despite every effort he puts in to live up to the role. He's a Protagonist, everything he's done, I could see being done by another similarly powerful and skilled person that could absolutely exist in that universe, albeit as an incredibly rare individual to crop up. Like, say, Anakin Skywalker, Starkiller, etc. Not a single one of his feats really outclasses the universe he lives in, because it's impossible for him to do so. Or so we've been shown, time and time again. Every trick he's got with the Player System, bar nothing, I think I'd genuinely just be happier reading as a Force Power.

But hey, I do like me some Star Wars, and I'm sticking around for it. I could be totally off-base, and it'll swing in with some genuinely impressive features attributable to his System that he couldn't just use the Force to replicate, but I've stuck with this story for well over a year at this point, so I'm pretty confident that everything cool he'll be able to do is attributable to the Force.

I just wonder if Cam will come to understand that, too. He's already made pretty impressive strides in that direction, if he hasn't already reached that point. No quests, no level-ups, no Gamer's Body or Mind... Does seem that way.

Edit: What I mean by 'disingenuous': I just hoped for interesting Gamer stuff, frankly. I've gotten a metric ton of interesting Star Wars stuff, and it feels bad to complain, but I came into this looking for a more even mix than the rare nibble of that which we get.

 

[Osiris]

It's pretty eye roll worthy that a random compound belonging to a not very famous cult/drug gang with a scattering of minor force sensitives is so steeped in the dark side it turns off all Cam's useful abilities and induces a bunch of hallucinations. It makes it seem like he doesn't have any mental shields at all.

It's one thing for Jango Fett to have some trouble with a succession of big guys with melee weapons, it's another for Cam and friends to have the same problems. The surrounding text makes it clear that none of these people have anything that can resist a lightsaber strike, so it comes off silly that he uses a flatly inferior sword and was wasting time doing telekinetic judo stuff.

 

[Vers20]

Does anyone know who Cam's dad is? Was it mentioned before?

 

[TheForgottenKing]

Does anyone know who Cam's dad is? Was it mentioned before?

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It was a Sith Lord who's name I'm forgetting but it was mentioned in the chapter about Revan's Vault

 

[Zendrelax]

Does anyone know who Cam's dad is? Was it mentioned before?

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It was a Sith Lord who's name I'm forgetting but it was mentioned in the chapter about Revan's Vault

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He was never named outright, but the message from his mother in Revan's Vault described a Sith Lord of considerable power. And given the time period, there weren't very many powerful Sith Lords around. Of those who survived the collapse of Naga Sadow's empire, all of the strongest were devoured in a dark side ritual by Darth Vitiate, the Emperor of the Sith Empire from SWTOR. And nobody was able to think of any other potential candidates who would have been around at the time.

So, to my mind, the best candidate we can point to right now would be Darth Vitiate, one of the most powerful force users to have ever lived.

 

[USSExplorer]

Will the System offer anything that Cam's liable to use regularly, that isn't just a bog-standard mind, body, soul, force, or training booster? That's the sort of thing I live for in games, those perks that offer special effects that can make you reevaluate everything you've been doing, open up new options that can revitalize the playing experience

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There are some perks/abilties that will come into play once Cam reaches level 30 that are going to be impressive, but not sure if any will he truly special.

Though something to consider is that without the Interface, powers like Inanimate Conversion just wouldn't be possible with any sort of skill. It would take decades of learning to get to where Cam's gotten to in a few years of on-and-off usage.

It feels like a Star Wars story, through and through, despite the System

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Ueah, that I understand, is something that's happened as I've gone along and will only become stronger. When I started I thought I could balance the Gamer/Force dynamic, but learning about the EU and getting help from people far more knowledgeable than me made me realise I had to pick one aspect or the other to be dominant.
And I went with the Force.

As such, I've altered the tags for the story to cover the limited and lessening importance of the system

Gamers are immensely unbalancing factors that tend to work to strike up unfair builds and destabilize the setting they're placed in.

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Most Gamers start off at 16+, Cam's still only 14. Most gamers only are on one world for most or all of their story. Cam's in a galaxy.

There was always going to be issues to how fast Cam's ripples would spread, but some major ones have happened, but the effects will only be felt over the coming decade.

Things are going to destabilise, but not while he's still a child/Padawan. Which was always the intention for this. Take time to make ripples, let them evolve and see what chaos it unleashes.
(I.E. If you know any if the backstory of Plagueis, him even being on Mandalore was a massive change in course for him)

He's a Protagonist, everything he's done, I could see being done by another similarly powerful and skilled person that could absolutely exist in that universe, albeit as an incredibly rare individual to crop up. Like, say, Anakin Skywalker, Starkiller, etc.

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Anakin and Starkiller did most if their great feats as late teens/young adults and in times of strife. Can is able to do some of those same things as a pre/young teen. That's sth no on else can do.

That said, I understand and agree that it is possible that a non-Player protagonist could possibly do something similar.

just wonder if Cam will come to understand that, too.

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He will, just takes him longer to see past the lenses of the system.

It's pretty eye roll worthy that a random compound belonging to a not very famous cult/drug gang with a scattering of minor force sensitives is so steeped in the dark side it turns off all Cam's useful abilities and induces a bunch of hallucinations.

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Um, the Jedi sent a strike team after the bad for a about 6/7 years before this and they were wiped out. Not one came back.



This base was a trap (something Cam will learn next chapter) designed for him and Dooku. Can made a mistake many Force senstives do in tursting the Force to keep him safe and it didn't. Something he's about to pay for massively.

So somehow a group that can take out a prepared Jedi strike team shouldn't be able to capture a single, albeit powerful, Padawan, is seriously underestimating the BG.

It's one thing for Jango Fett to have some trouble with a succession of big guys with melee weapons, it's another for Cam and friends to have the same problems.

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The BG didn't know Jango was coming, they did know about Dooku, cam et al.
Also, Jango could kill Jedi (not just that useless one in AotC) so he's not a low level mook. He's one if the best non-Force sensitives in the galaxy (hence why he was considered then chosen as the template for the Clone army. Something designed to take out the Jedi when the time came.)

 

[Reynard69]

This base was a trap (something Cam will learn next chapter) designed for him and Dooku. Can made a mistake many Force senstives do in tursting the Force to keep him safe and it didn't. Something he's about to pay for massively.

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*shrug* so long as this starts him legit pursuing Revan's Legacy challenge, I'm good. Tame the darkness, achieve the power boom of balance.

 

[ClassHole]

I'm not going to pretend to know enough about Star Wars to claim anything.... but is this base like one of those Dark Side nexus things? Like the cave near Yoda's hut?

If not, seems ridiculously strong if its just a random spot some evil cultists hang around.... kind of seems like it was intentionally made crazy strong to try to justify his capture. I mean, I could buy him not being able to engage Players Mind, or some of the more focus intense stuff like healing, or even something as all encompassing as teleporting or phasing... due to the aura of darkness.... but the crazy insane penalty to ALL skills seems a bit much... not to mention him simply reaching out with some minor TK to stop a door somehow floors him with Darkside seizures? I've never seen anything like that in any of the Star Wars media I've consumed.

Also, I'm curious, he seemed to be fine shaking off the mental effects of the Dark aura for most of the chapter, then all of a sudden just completely fell for the Sera gambit and made several shit decisions in a row... you mentioned his FP bar being red then... was that trying to imply that he'd run out of Force power, and so his mental defenses were now weakened, which lead to him suddenly falling for the trap?

Really liked the first half of the chapter. I always like the Lokella and seeing them grow strong. Hopefully his Wookie posse go with the Lokella and in a few years when Harry tells the Jedi to eat shit and quits, he can swing by their base and pick up his Squad! I've always liked the whole Wookie ride or die life debt thing... especially since I saw Book of Boba Fett and they made that new black furred Wookie look so incredible bad ass! Wouldn't mind a few of those at my back.

His new Dark Doggo is awesome too lol I like the name.... but part of me wishes you'd named this eventually massive vicious dark side Jedi killing beast something hilarious.... like Skippy.

 

[A/N]

Not every Gamer needs to also have outside setting abilities. In fact, most of the time its 'just' a way to apply Game metaphysics and capabilities to the already existing things in-setting, just with Gamer convenience.

The Force is already such a broad power that it works great with a Gamer system without anything extra necessary. It's just that instead of spending years/decades developing a few special skills, he could gain them easily and train them up rapidly, and benefit from levels etc

 

[Osiris]

So somehow a group that can take out a prepared Jedi strike team shouldn't be able to capture a single, albeit powerful, Padawan, is seriously underestimating the BG.

The BG didn't know Jango was coming, they did know about Dooku, cam et al.
Also, Jango could kill Jedi (not just that useless one in AotC) so he's not a low level mook. He's one if the best non-Force sensitives in the galaxy (hence why he was considered then chosen as the template for the Clone army. Something designed to take out the Jedi when the time came.)

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The Jedi during the last days of the republic were losing strike teams left and right. They have a real conservation of ninjutsu thing going on. My point about Jango was that in the game these enemies are taken from, the miniboss thing is reasonable, Big muscular fanatic alien takes a few more shots than normal to go down, fine. When the fighter has a weapon that can't be blocked and instantly dismembers, it's really noticeable when our hero goes for a shoulder charge instead of cutting through the axe and the man in one stroke.

It's frustrating that the power levels have been fluctuating so much in this story. I get the desire for extended fight scenes and capture and escape narratives, but it's really noticeable when the answer to "why isn't he doing well in this fight" is "because the plot needs this to happen" or "because the author doesn't want the fight scene to be one sentence"

 

[Venumize]

As my eyes started to lose their battle to stay open, I could only hope that Bo and Aayla were safe and that they, Dooku and Vos managed to get out of this place before it overwhelmed them as well. I'd fucked up royally and all I had now was the faint, and slowly weakening, hope that they'd managed to escape while the Bando Gora had been focused on me.

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The issue with trying to make a cliff hanger with the main character is that you know it doesn't matter. Will they die? No of course not. Will they be maimed or tortured? Maybe but they will come out stronger for it because they are the protagonist. All it reads to me is to get ready to possibly slog through drama that was generated by it before we can move on.

Sorry but cliff hangers always seemed dumb to me. It is made worse by most of them taking far too long before posting the next chapter to the point it lost all meaning, the story dies so it ends with that or authors just try to end far too many chapters that way so it also loses any meaning.

It is a very delicate balance.

It's one thing to have the character not think of something, which becomes a bad plot device really quick. It's another to nullify his abilities every time they are needed.

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He kind of has constantly either lost powers, nerfed powers or been restricted throughout most of the story where it would matter hasn't he? It has gotten to the point if he gets any powers in the future you can pretty much bet it will fail at a important moment or will be mysteriously nerfed to fit some plot.

I wonder if you put all the chapters together if he has actually been hampered more often than not? That might actually be the case...