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I understand you've been trying to put distance between Serra and Cam, but if this is a way of you trying to further create distance, I can't really say I agree with the methods. Even if it kills two birds with one stone.

No, it's not.
That was more Serra just reacting to the presence of a male in that moment. She'll have issues over what happened obv, but it won't be around Cam.
Though this will sort of push her to spend more time with Bo to become stronger
 
It seems that constantly acting without the force in these schools made people forget that they are still Jedi? I can't for the life of me think of another reason why they would be so stupid to think they could win such a stupid fight.
 
I'm glad you timeskipped, because otherwise we'd get dragged down in the minutiae of school life. Think Harry Potter Book 1, but markedly less interesting. Shows great skill in writing, and excellent judgement!
I would like to say that rape is not a common occurrence when learning how to become military forces... but it also has happened before and probably will happen again, and in a story is much more interesting to have something happen than to have four or five years of 'and then we train some more'.
 
She reprimanded him as she's a teacher there (even if she agreed with him she still has to follow the rules)



Mercy was shown bc the "New Mandalorians" don't favour more... aggressive forms of punishment. However, a 'trial' will occur next chapter that should satisfy you.
That's nice but I was more talking about cams reaction of "oh geez their tryna rape my maybe but not really girlfriend better choke em a bit an and talk about honnor before kicking another around a little bit" It feels like a really weird interaction and the honnor stuff feels even weirder, hes not a mando and has never shown a real obsession with it so it just comes off as insulting them a bit to me.
 
Sucks that she reprimanded him for beating a would be rapist. It will be interesting to see if they try to hush this up, and Cam's more than likely bad reaction therein.

Pretty sure, if they tried to cover it up, the results would include something along the lines of Cam staring the adult most responsible for the cover-up in the eyes while he uses the force to simultaneously snap the neck of every recruit involved and then throw the adults involved out the nearest windows.

However, I'm also quite sure the adults have no desire to cover it up.

Mercy was shown bc the "New Mandalorians" don't favour more... aggressive forms of punishment. However, a 'trial' will occur next chapter that should satisfy you.

I can see one of two paths here.

The first: They did say something about recording. Video is pretty open-and-shut.

The second: Trial by combat. Cam vs all of 'em at once, bracers off. Because sometimes you just want a good ol' gratuitous beatdown.
 
I can't for the life of me think of another reason why they would be so stupid to think they could win such a stupid fight.
Considering most Mandalorians view most Jedi as dishonorable pacifists, and Cam is a kid to that, it's not very unbelievable they would think "he has no lightsaber, so what he can do against three of us?".
I got the Thunder, but I'm missing the pun with that one.
 
"Ah," I began as I rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged, "the Force?"

Hopefully she, and the Commandant would buy an excuse of Force bullshit as to why I'd gotten here so quickly. I'd rather not have to go into specifics and explain that Jedi could teleport. No need to reveal that trick to potential enemies
Strictly speaking, it was indeed Force Bullshit. That's not even a lie.
 
I got the Thunder, but I'm missing the pun with that one.

Karen Traviss is the writer of most of the key books about Mandalorian culture in the EU.

That's nice but I was more talking about cams reaction of "oh geez their tryna rape my maybe but not really girlfriend better choke em a bit an and talk about honnor before kicking another around a little bit" It feels like a really weird interaction and the honnor stuff feels even weirder, hes not a mando and has never shown a real obsession with it so it just comes off as insulting them a bit to me.

THe honour comment was more for Bo than for the boys. Cam saw a moment where he thought he could get through to Bo about why her father allied with the N-M. But he hadn't exactly thought it through, hence why it sounds... stiff

*fishslap*

That was bad and you should feel bad.

On a different topic, given that Tor Skirata is here as an instructor, I'm assuming Kal's backstory has been changed somewhat?

Nah, Thunder is someone I know on Discord who suggested Karen Traviss appearing in the story, so it was a bit of a thank you.

Kai's story might not change, we'll see. But I thought a small call-out to him via his son would be an interesting breadcrumb for the future


I can see one of two paths here.

The first: They did say something about recording. Video is pretty open-and-shut.

The second: Trial by combat. Cam vs all of 'em at once, bracers off. Because sometimes you just want a good ol' gratuitous beatdown.

Well, one of those is what will happen. WE'll just have to see which it is next chapter
 
how did the mando develop those force supressing cuffs? i cant find them on the internet.
Likely from wherever they got that cage for Maul. Bo said that Satine had destroyed all the other ones, so nothing says they didn't also have (and then destroy) cuffs that did the same job, though not as effectively.
 
and the recommendations of this chapter?
 
and the recommendations of this chapter?

Forgot that...
https://www.fanfiction.net/community/Dark-Wolf-Shiro-s-Discord-Server-Fics/133404/
Every story on the Omniverse (I think there's been a few new ones that I forgot about)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8442710
A SW/Halo x-over that has a sequel that is also complete

Also, if it's SW stories, there's a channel on the server for this story that is for rec's (which is where the Haloo x-over comes from)
 
Explorer why do you have to remind me that peeps suck

if PM wasnt in control I'm sure he would have killed them all

Le sigh the wait begins anew
 
How far did those guys even go? Torn shirt and what? Makes me uncomfortable thinking about it but I am curious about it because how it might change her character.
 
How far did those guys even go? Torn shirt and what? Makes me uncomfortable thinking about it but I am curious about it because how it might change her character.

Pretty sure exactly what was done is being left vague, both for good taste and because it's more impactful to the audience.

Reading between the lines, though, I'm pretty sure it didn't get past her being groped.
 
Nah, Thunder is someone I know on Discord who suggested Karen Traviss appearing in the story, so it was a bit of a thank you.

Got it, that was a nice gesture.

Kai's story might not change, we'll see. But I thought a small call-out to him via his son would be an interesting breadcrumb for the future

My memory (supplemented heavily by Wookiepedia) says that Kal never got to train his sons to be Mando. His wife wasn't Mandalorian (Kal wasn't born Mando either, but was adopted young and fully embraced it); anyway, she didn't approve of him starting his sons' training in childhood and ran off with all three kids (2 sons, 1 daughter). If Tor's involved enough in Mandalorian practice and culture to be teaching at their academy, then things have changed.
 
My memory (supplemented heavily by Wookiepedia) says that Kal never got to train his sons to be Mando. His wife wasn't Mandalorian (Kal wasn't born Mando either, but was adopted young and fully embraced it); anyway, she didn't approve of him starting his sons' training in childhood and ran off with all three kids (2 sons, 1 daughter). If Tor's involved enough in Mandalorian practice and culture to be teaching at their academy, then things have changed.

Um... whoops. Missed that (as did my lore guys)
Well, there goes that part of the EU. :p
 
Um... whoops. Missed that (as did my lore guys)

I can get rather pedantic about Legends EU Novels details, given that they were basically my life right up until Legacy of the Force crushed all further interest (also I got busy with work). I'd imagine the subpopulation of people reading this story who also read the Republic Commando novels AND payed attention to minor backstory details is probably just me, so you're fine.

Well, there goes that part of the EU. :p

Fortunately, this is fanfic. AU is inherent in it's nature, and the first change was 4000 years ago, so who knows what butterflies have flapped in that time. Maybe in this universe, Kalbuir won't end up a cult leader. In other words, It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature!
 
Pretty sure, if they tried to cover it up, the results would include something along the lines of Cam staring the adult most responsible for the cover-up in the eyes while he uses the force to simultaneously snap the neck of every recruit involved and then throw the adults involved out the nearest windows.

However, I'm also quite sure the adults have no desire to cover it up.



I can see one of two paths here.

The first: They did say something about recording. Video is pretty open-and-shut.

The second: Trial by combat. Cam vs all of 'em at once, bracers off. Because sometimes you just want a good ol' gratuitous beatdown.

Plot twist: The jury/judges/etc. find the rapist not guilty, but only because half of them want Cam to demand Trial By Combat so they can see if he'll go full Revan or not.
 
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Prologue 4 so far.
Making him be so young at the start is way too weird and the way you have him acting makes the suspension of disbelief hard. Acting too much like and older teen than an eight year old.

The choice to have Gamers Mind be toggle on/off is also weird and sort of takes out from the character to have him turn it off to feel and off not too.

The other criticism is having the usual cliche responsive sarcastic system.

as for the story well so far a lost chance to explain how you feel oily or some other negative thing when you saw the corrupting thing about the nexus and well quite disappointed you mentioned the becoming a ruler but dismissed it.
as gamer the first chapter proved you dont need the Jedi to learn force skills at all. You just need to try stuff out or find holocrons.
 
Serra will really need to talk to someone after that. The girl had no experience with feelings, now add the little trauma that occurred and you have someone who needs a psychologist fast. I recommend someone who is not a jedi, as was shown throughout the work, they are not the best people to talk about it.
 
Serra will really need to talk to someone after that. The girl had no experience with feelings, now add the little trauma that occurred and you have someone who needs a psychologist fast. I recommend someone who is not a jedi, as was shown throughout the work, they are not the best people to talk about it.


But we know how the council will deal with it

The force will fix it fuck it your on your own

What your a sith now wtf how did that happen

Edit:Still dont who's worse on child development the jedi council or the PRT?
 
dit:Still dont who's worse on child development the jedi council or the PRT?

The Jedi, easily. The PRT at least will generally leave kids in healthy family environments and send them to school for normal socialization, instead of kidnapping them and raising them in homogeneous lots.
 
But we know how the council will deal with it

The force will fix it fuck it your on your own

What your a sith now wtf how did that happen

Edit:Still dont who's worse on child development the jedi council or the PRT?
The jedi way looks like animes Japanese culture, every time someone suffers a trauma the guys expect the person to be 100% working the next day.
 
Explorer why do you have to remind me that peeps suck

if PM wasnt in control I'm sure he would have killed them all

Le sigh the wait begins anew

Actually, PM was only on until Nia turned up. Since that was the end of the situation, PM turned off. So Cam's reaction to hearing what the boys did was emotional (and well deserved imo.)

How far did those guys even go? Torn shirt and what? Makes me uncomfortable thinking about it but I am curious about it because how it might change her character.

That was about it. It's implied that when Serra called out to Cam, she also used the Force to push the boys back.
Bo came in right after that and was able to get between the boys and Serra, which was about where Cam came in.

Plot twist: The jury/judges/etc. find the rapist not guilty, but only because half of them want Cam to demand Trial By Combat so they can see if he'll go full Revan or not.

Well, you're half right about what they'll do :sneaky:
 

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