A strange new life. [Naruto]

[okashihime]

Oh no, some people with a grudge in my HR department are being too petty about my performance reviews. Time to escalate it to the President of the United States of America.

Click to shrink...

I laughed. xD

 

[Syphi]

I laughed. xD

Click to shrink...

Hey now, she is apparently friendly with that leader's wife who LIVES in the hidden village at least part time.

 

[```]

"Saving an allied shinobi is now a crime?" I asked.

Homura answered me. "We would commend you, if that was what you had done."

I rolled my eyes. "What did I do then?"

Koharu took a different set of papers, placed on the table. It passed around until it reached me. It was a series of reports. Sai's reports about me. The paper didn't look new, like it had been handled a lot of times already, even if that didn't mean anything.

The report was a list of concerns. Sai was concerned about my motives for joining the mission, and my constant attempts to "be friendly" and make him lower his guard. He also reported about my reaction when we found the lab, and my insistence on destroying the evidence. His last report was that he was afraid I was suspecting him for some reason.

Click to shrink...

Did we enter an alternate timeline somewhere? Why is the suspect rhetoric of a literal traitor who literally backstabbed literal konoha shinobi on a literally official mission being credulously treated like nothing is unusual in this picture? Are they trying to get themselves arrested by telling everyone they are in cahoots? Is that the intention here?

 

[okashihime]

Did we enter an alternate timeline somewhere? Why is the suspect rhetoric of a literal traitor who literally backstabbed literal konoha shinobi on a literally official mission being credulously treated like nothing is unusual in this picture? Are they trying to get themselves arrested by telling everyone they are in cahoots? Is that the intention here?

Click to shrink...

Other readers asked very similar questions.


Official report is that Sai is MIA, presumed captured by the enemy.
Hinata was the one who said he betrayed the squad. Since the enemy separated the group, Yamato wasn't there when the betrayal happened. Until Hinata returned, everyone thought Sai had also been captured by the enemy.
What the council is playing at is that this was all a plot orchestrated by Hinata, and Sai is the victim, instead the betrayer.
Shisui believes Hinata, so does Kakashi, Yamato, Hayase and others, but in this case is a you said versus he said situation, since there's no real evidence aside from Hinata's report and Sai was "never found".

 

[okashihime]

"We'll visit again later," Sakura said, looking at the green clad boy punching the wooden dummy. He might not have even heard them. His bushy brows furrowed, each punch precise, though the crutches under his arms made the entire scene a little absurd.

Karin took Sakura's hand and led the kunoichi away. Sakura didn't resist.

There was no distracting Rock Lee when he got like that, and unless they wanted to join in his ever more strange training methods, they had no chance to grab his attention and karin didn't want more strange training.

Dealing with Hinata's bizarre, and somehow effective, training methods were already more than enough.

Karin's mind drifted to the coin stuck in her midriff. She thought about the past months.

Techniques that once looked impossible were now second nature.

Karin knew she'd been little more than a medic slave in the Grass, but it wasn't until she fully settled in Konoha that she really understood what she'd been lacking. Her training didn't even include the basics every genin in Konoha knew.

Now Karin could wall-walk, water-walk and she'd even started learning a real medic jutsu, instead of letting people bite into her flesh to absorb life energy.

She owed a freaking lot to Hinata.

She liked paying it back in pranks. No matter how much Hinata complained, and brooded, her chakra didn't lie. Hinata loved that. It made her happy.

The trouble with sensing people's feelings through their chakra was that she couldn't not feel them. It was hard to ignore Hinata's loneliness.

Hinata had the most beautiful and expressive chakra Karin had ever felt. It was like she could read the girl's mind. An effect of all that control training? Maybe, but because of that, Karin was aware of how Hinata really felt. All the time.

The crushing loneliness, resignation and sadness.

It only changed a small bit when she was talking about her crush.

Karin was still a bit in love with Hinata. No, that was a lie. She was a lot in love with Hinata, or with Hinata's chakra. It was pure as crystal, emotive beyond belief with just a hint of something other, as strange as that was. But Karin couldn't shoulder all that loneliness by herself, nor did she want to get between Hinata and Ino.

And Karin was greedy.

Living with Hinata, the jokes, the pranks, sleeping together. That was more than enough. Pushing Hinata towards happiness, even if just a little. Karin didn't mind if she never kissed Hinata. Just being close, that was enough.

Because right now, Karin wanted to kiss someone else.

Yes, Karin wanted it, no shame in admitting: Sakura, even Rock Lee. Her face flushed at those thoughts. A grin spread on her lips.

They wandered hand in hand, with no real destination.

"Where are we going?" Sakura asked after a while.

Sakura had shied away from Karin's forwardness at first, but Karin persevered. Now, walking hand in hand was normal, but Karin wanted more.

"I have an idea," Karin said.

With that, she led Sakura along Konoha's streets toward one shop she found not too long ago. A small place that sold a lot of different sweets.

They walked in, Sakura observing everything. Small booths with round tables and comfy chairs, a lot of teenagers, mostly in pairs, eating, drinking and chatting.

Karin led Sakura deeper into the store, toward the back booths, away from giggling teenagers couples. They sat side by side, shoulders touching, and soon after, the waitress was at their table.

"What can we get for you today? We've got the best sweets in Konoha!" the girl chirped.

Sakura looked between the waitress and Karin, eyes narrowing.

"Cake and tea," Karin said.

The waitress bowed and left.

"The best in Konoha?" Sakura raised a brow, watching the waitress go.

Karin shrugged. "It's not," she said, "but I like the vibe."

They talked about this and that, but mostly enjoyed their hang out.

Sakura had a lot of free time with Shikamaru as their squad leader. A fact that Karin abused as much as she could.

As long as Hinata didn't learn about it, of course. There would be hell to pay if Hinata learned Karin was ditching training to meet Sakura.

The cake arrived. Sweet, fluffy, but too sweet. It just didn't taste like Hinata's baked perfections.

Sakura nibbled, made a face, and didn't touch the cake again. She kept sipping from juice and looking about, then at Karin.

"Why are we here, Karin?" she asked finally.

Karin looked around. The giggling pairs, the obvious couples flirting and more.

"Do you have anyone you like?" Karin asked.

She knew it already, of course. There was no way she wouldn't know going by Sakura's chakra whenever she met Rock Lee, or they talked about 'Emosuke'. There was even a bit when the two of them were together.

Sakura's chakra did that thing Karin loved. It tried to flatten at the same time it felt someone else took over. It felt like two different Sakuras: one prim and proper; other wild and free.

Sakura looked away, a soft pink blooming on her cheeks. "Maybe," she murmured.

"Sasuke-kun?" Karin asked.

Sakura looked toward one window, ate another bit of the too-sweet cake.

"For a long time, I thought so," she said finally.

"Now Rock Lee?" Karin teased.

The small dusting turned into a full-blown blush. Sakura just shoulder checked Karin. Karin laughed. Sakura was adorable.

"Have you ever kissed someone before?" Sakura asked.

Karin blinked, not expecting the question. She shook her head. "No. You?"

Sakura made a face. "Almost, once."

"What happened?" Karin asked.

Sakura's face didn't look good.

"Naruto happened."

"He interrupted?"

Sakura's face turned into a grimace. "Worse, he was disguised as Sasuke and I almost kissed him, thinking it was Sasuke."

Karin laughed. That was so Naruto.

"Don't laugh," Sakura grumbled.

Karin laughed harder, but her breath almost hitched when Sakura's chakra did a flip. Like the wild one had taken over.

"Do you wanna try?" Sakura asked.

Karin just flopped like a fish.

"Call it practice," Sakura continued, cheeks burning. "For when you get a boyfriend."

Like a machine, Karin nodded.

"Close your eyes," Sakura said.

Karin obeyed.

---

That night, Karin didn't sleep, and neither did Hinata. The giggles kept spilling out, long into the dark.

 

[okashihime]

I'm not sure how to start a proper scientific report. It doesn't feel right to use all the jargon and codes, and phrases I learned at the Academy for this. This isn't, after all, a ninja project.

[No, this is a personal project. I'm trying to live up to my promise to unsour Kumoko. You shouldn't start a report with the wrong preamble, Original-chan. Also, hi me! I love you! Hugs from Beta(reader)-chan!]

I'm getting distracted, better focus on writing the report.


Entry: 001

Location: Apartment.

Observer: Hinata

[Should this be entry one, really? It isn't the first time we summoned Kumoko. We summoned her a few times already. -xoxo. B-chan]


Today's experiments weren't any different from expected. I summoned Kumoko, and as usual, she was pissed. Following our game plan, I tried to bribe her with food. She wasn't partial to my offerings. Giving food without also giving her something to do doesn't seem to work. Next time, I'll try Plan B.



Entry: 001-B [B-chan's Note: Totally should've been Entry 002. -xoxo]

Location: Training field three.

Observer: Hinata, Ino.

[It isn't really the second entry, you know, Original-chan. You summoned Kumoko, like, four other times after entry one, sheesh. -xoxo B-chan]


Plan B worked better. This time, instead of offering her food, there was a bit of misdirection. It happened in training field three. Karin and Tenten had already left, and Ino stayed to help. [Gosh, I love Ino, why haven't we kissed her yet? Humm? Hummm? Waiting for Yamanaka Mother's permission? -xoxo]

At first she didn't want to "test" the food for poison, but gave up when I taunted her. I mean, she's just a kid, really. All that it took was asking, "Aren't badgers resistant to poison?"


Entry: 005

Location: Konoha's markets.

Observer: Hinata, Ino.

[Yes, it is I, Beta-chan. I cut out some of the boring early entries, sue me, Original-chan. -xoxo]


Today's plan worked well. Me and Ino went shopping, and Ino is now pretty invested in my experiments too. We told Kumoko her job was to stay alert for any spies, but that she should pretend to be a pet.

She didn't like that, really, but it was also easy to solve. All we needed to do was ask if she couldn't do it. We spent the whole day carrying her around the market, trying foods, visiting stalls and just having fun.

I think Kumoko enjoyed it too. At the end, before receiving her "honey" gift, she didn't even seem to mind me petting her for a few seconds. Then she realized what I was doing and got all prissy. It was kinda funny, really.


Entry: 011

Location: Honey shop.

Observer: Hinata, Honey Ojii-san.

[Boring, more cutting, yes. -xoxo B-chan. P.S: Can we please kiss Ino already?]


Today I took Kumoko to the Ojii-san honey shop. Shop Ojii-san thankfully isn't a part of the merchants mad at me because I can't sell seals anymore, which is fortunate. Finding another honey supplier would be a pain.

Unfortunately, Ino can't help today. She got into a fight with her mother, for some reason, and had to take care of the shop. [We know the reason was us. Why are you being silly, OG-chan? -xoxo]

Anyway, I think I broke Kumoko. [She glitched. It was glorious. Hihi. -xoxo]

She froze the moment we stepped in. I told Ojii-san she was a pet, and Kumoko didn't even complain this time. I think she had the time of her life, really. Ojii-san brought small bowls with every type of honey he had and we let Kumoko eat and decide which one she liked best.

This I learned: Kumoko really loves honey. She ate until she passed out.

The expensive honey wasn't the one she liked most. Which was good. I can save a few coins now. Money isn't as easy to come by anymore. [Yeah, why didn't we explode the codgers already? Right, right, can't just explode all our problems away. -xoxo]


Entry: 015

Location: Apartment.

Observer: Hinata

[Yea, I removed a few other boring entries too. -xoxo]


I think things progressed well enough. Kumoko doesn't seem that angry with me anymore and even lets me pet her from time to time, not always. Whenever she realizes I'm treating her like a pet, she gets real prissy, but it doesn't last long, really. She's super distractible, even if oddly focused on some other things. Give her a mission and the she-devil tunnel vision hard on that. Which is kinda cute, really. Like a kid trying too hard to be a ninja.

Tomorrow I'll summon Kumoko and discuss with her about the bees and the Aburames.

Right, I think that's it for these observational logs. I'll give them to a clone to organize and write it better later. Maybe I'll even submit them to the Intelligence department. Would that even work?

[Yes, and unfortunately, that's my last entry too. It was kinda fun cutting and organizing things. Altho, I wish I had an Ino clone here so we could… hehe -xoxo]
[That's it for Volume 1 of the Great Kumoko Experiment Logs. Tune in next time for Kumoko vs. the Aburames! -xoxo, B-chan]

 

[okashihime]

I was happy with my progress in unsouring Kumoko. Whenever I summoned her, it was about seventy percent frustrated tail lashing now. A wonderful improvement in my humble opinion.

But today it wasn't about stuffing her with so much honey that she went into a food coma. No, today it was time to see if the badgers would accommodate the Aburames in their search for the biggest insect of them all.

Early in the day, we completed our village assigned mission, it hadn't been hard. Somehow, babysitting Tora had become a C-rank. I think it was just an excuse so Lady Shijimi could collect the sweets. Our team had that mission almost every week.

But again, not important.

We guarded Tora; I gave out pastries; kind Daimyo wife left satisfied.

Karin fled somewhere as soon as the mission was over. I think she was afraid I'd give her more training. Or maybe she went to meet with her bae. Karin had been a giggling mess for a few days now.

Ino wasn't here either. She left as soon as the mission was done. I understood it very well. Trouble with her mom, and I didn't want to make things worse.

Tenten never joined in these things, unfortunately. I don't think she wanted to be friends. Which was totally fine. I wasn't bitter about it. Not one bit. I just didn't understand why. Was it because I almost killed Neji? That seemed excessive.

Enough procrastinating.

In the quiet of my apartment, I bit my thumb, placed my hand on the ground and performed the summoning.

Kumoko showed up in a puff of smoke. She looked around, smelled the air, then turned to me.

"Snake-girl," she greeted.

"Hello, Kumoko," I greeted back.

"What is it you want today?" she asked, looking around and searching. Well, I guess she'd expected me to try something. I shrugged. No need to be coy about stuff.

I pulled out a seal, and out popped some of my new confections: small, crusty cakes. I think they're called galettes? I wasn't sure. Honey flavored, of course.

"Here, try these and tell me what you think," I said.

Kumoko grunted, but didn't argue. She bit into it, chewing slowly. Her tail lashed again, absentmindedly this time. Interesting.

"So?" I asked.

"Too dry," she said after a while.

"But did you like the flavor?"

She grunted.

"Here, there's some crust," I said and gave her a quick scritch disguised as cleaning her fur. Kumoko glared suspiciously, but I hadn't taken long with my petting and she had no way of saying that I did what I did.

"But that wasn't the reason I called you today," I said after a while.

"What is it, then?"

"There's a shinobi family that wants to meet your clan," I said.

"What for?"

I shrugged. "They don't want the badgers, really, but the bees. The easiest way seems to come to an agreement with your clan."

Kumoko lashed her tail. I couldn't tell what that was supposed to mean.

"Can you meet them?" I asked.

Her tail lashed again. She growled, pacing in front of me.

I waited, but she didn't answer.

"Kumoko?"

"I can't," she squeaky growled. Tail lashing frantically again.

"Is it because you're too young?" I asked.

Kumoko went still. She turned to me, fangs bared. "I'm older than you," she spat.

I raised both hands, trying to appease her.

"I'm thirteen, Kumoko," I whispered.

"I'm over three decades old," she growled again. Her tail snapped side to side in tight, erratic swings. Then, with a sharp glare aimed somewhere past me, toward nothing, or maybe someone not here, she muttered, "So why do you still treat me like a cub?"

The last part wasn't aimed at me. I could tell. Her eyes had gone distant, like she was seeing someone else entirely.

I opened my mouth, closed it shut. Mind racing. I hadn't connected the dots before. I knew Kumoko was Tsuchigaru's kid, but I hadn't thought her mother was the badger who died because of the summoner's betrayal.

"Can you tell me what happened?" I asked.

Kumoko stared at me for a long while, her fur still bristling. Then she sagged. Her tail went limp, and she flopped onto the ground, silent, then shaking. Was she crying?

I pulled her onto my lap, resting my hand gently over her head. She didn't resist. Didn't complain.

"There isn't much to tell," she said, voice flat. She didn't sound like she was crying. "When Mom died, I wasn't born yet."

Oh.

---

Later that day, I sent Kumoko back to check with her dad about meeting the Aburames. Like she'd predicted, she wasn't allowed to represent the badgers, but neither was her dad interested in dealing with other shinobi. Kumoko gave me instructions about another badger to summon for the meeting. Her name was Mitsuna. The name made little sense to me. If I wasn't reading it wrong, it was something like a secret vegetable? Weird.

I sent notice to the Aburames, and they agreed to a meeting for the next day.

After that, I popped by the tower, hugged the prettiest secretary of them all, and dropped by the Hokage's office.

Shisui seemed happy to see me, if only to distract him from the mountain of paperwork. Poor dude.

I reported my dealing with the Aburames and the badgers, then after a sloppy salute, and a "ganbatte!" kit, left the man to his work.

That got me thinking. I could have just as well dropped that information with the intelligence department. There was no need to bug the Hokage at all. Was I a snob shinobi by flaunting my easy access to Shisui?

Well, who cared?

That night, I prepared a few pastries, honey, and other things for the next day.

Shisui had been kind enough to cancel our team missions, which left me with morning and noon free. Which I spent training with Ino. Karin had fled as soon as I told them no mission for the day, while Tenten stayed to train by herself. She was improving fast with her seals.

When the afternoon arrived, I summoned Kumoko.

In a puff of smoke, she appeared, looking around. Her gaze met mine, then a smiling Ino.

"What's it, snake-girl?" she asked, tail lashing. That tail lash looked almost anxious.

I extended my hand to her. Kumoko looked at it for a long while until she got closer. I picked her up and placed her on my shoulder. "You're my bodyguard, remember? Not meeting other shinobi without protection."

There was a moment of silence, then tittering.

I exchanged glances with Ino, who hadn't stopped smiling too.

"Any last-minute preparations?"

No one said anything, and we set out.

With Kumoko grabbing my shoulder, I didn't have to worry about her not keeping pace, so we took the highways, jumping from roof to roof until we landed in front of the compound.

The first time I'd been here, I was so preoccupied by a second marriage proposal that I had paid no attention to anything around, but now I had time.

It was in the shaded outskirts of Konoha, shrouded by thick canopies. The air was quiet, aside from the occasional hum of insects. The trees around were dense and tall, some twisted into unnatural shapes, trunks hollowed out. Even from here, I could see insects slipping in and out of knotholes.

The compound itself was a series of low buildings crafted from dark wood and reinforced with paper screens. It blended well with the trees around; the architecture favoring function over flair.

Shino waited for us at the door. Same high collar jacket, same dark glasses, same dark bushy hair.

We landed in front of him.

"Shino," I said as a way of greeting.

"Hinata," he said back, then turned to Ino. "Yamanaka."

Ino planted her hands on her hips. "Really?" she asked.

Shino just looked on, saying nothing.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Ino is fine," she said.

Shino nodded. "Ino."

I pointed to the badger on my shoulder. "This is Kumoko."

Shino gave a polite bow to the she-devil. "Welcome, Kumoko."

Kumoko sniffed the air. "You smell strange," she said.

Shino nodded. "Pheromones," that was all he said.

There was a beat of silence, then Shino turned. "Please, come inside. My father is waiting."

Inside, paths laid with flat stone and moss, curving around meticulously kept gardens, led toward the deeper buildings. Lanterns flanked the path, and I remembered being here last time for dinner: the dim amber glow making the place look surreal.

My perception had improved since last time, and it wasn't hard to sense small blips of chakra flying around. Blips I couldn't see. I held back a shudder. I was glad I wasn't part of the clan. Dealing with insects wasn't for me.

We followed Shino until the path opened into a wide, silent courtyard garden. Flat stones formed a central platform ringed by shallow water, where lily pads floated and dragonflies lazed. At the far end stood a low-roofed meeting pavilion, open on all sides, its floor lined with clean tatami mats and simple cushions arranged in a perfect circle. Shibi was already there waiting for us.

---

Spoiler: AN

Thank you for reading.


Last part of this interlude on monday, and on wed we start with ARC 9.