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Amelia, Worm AU [Complete]

Reader mode
TanaNari said:
It'd be easier just to create a device that's "both of you, take off your pants, sit on those chairs with the tubes, and try not to complain about how cold it is... when the light turns green, the one on that chair will be pregnant."
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dasstan said:
I sort of wonder how far away Pantheon is from offering same sex couples the ability to have a biological child? In the artificial womb sort of way, not in the body horror sort of way.
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Cause if the couple on the chairs are guys... Well, we're in for a bad Arnold movie from the 90s.
 
Well, as a long time anon follower from spacebattles who couldn't be bothered to make an account, I must say that the move was a perfect excuse. As I think the move has been discussed to death in every venue possible, I'll move on from that to what I hope will be constructive commentary that you'll prefer.

Your characters are great, especially Taylor (your switch to SkitterTaylor again during the arc of angst was a wonder to read) and Missy (who you've managed to make exactly what she is - a battle hardened veteran and a little girl). Riley is adorable and terrifying all at once (she still stands in second to the joint Good Girl (Weaver Nine) and Bones (Atonement) versions of Riley), though I do feel she's grown up a little too fast. Still, you've managed to grasp her Bonesaw style tendencies in a way I don't think I've seen any author manage, as was her 'you're bad you can be reformed' approach to Emma. Lisa is well handled as well, though I'm pleased to see that her all work and no play attitude being shifted slightly in the latest chapter.

I actually like the schizophrenia of the tone - it fits reality very very well. The fact that it oscillates between serious and almost crack-like humour and laid-back attitudes is a huge part of Amelia's appeal, and I wouldn't put a disclaimer about it. Having said that, the pattern is a little predictable once you're into it - maybe shake things up a bit, lead us one way then hurtle another.

I have a few minor factual niggles (why did no-one in Pantheon seem to recognise Calvert's name when they heard he was director? Why is Theo's power multidimensional metal when there's no way he pinged off Flechette or anyone who'd grant his shard that power?) but the one issue I have so far is the sheer number of balls you've got to juggle. I might have missed the resolution of a couple of threads, but by my count we've still got to resolve Grue in the basement (what'll they do with him?), whether Taylor will edit her brain or not, Nilbog, what they did for Eidolon/Alexandria to improve their powers, Ziz's belief that her actions prevented the deaths of her brothers, that Vasil kid from the canon omake, plans for Scion, the whole Lily/Sabah mess, and so on. I don't doubt your ability to handle all of these, but I think the reason that so many other Worm fanfic authors write in arcs is it allows them to tie up smaller threads neatly and quickly. I'm not sure what you can do about it, but the structure as a whole is a little sprawling, lacking focus.

Which is kinda part of why I like it - we all need runny scrambled eggs sometimes (or in my case, quite a lot). But it's an issue that you should be aware of.

Anyway, I'll get back to lurking.
 
Don't mind the move. Was already here. Am annoyed that QQ is having issues with my watched threads.
 
hellgodsrus said:
Well, as a long time anon follower from spacebattles who couldn't be bothered to make an account, I must say that the move was a perfect excuse. As I think the move has been discussed to death in every venue possible, I'll move on from that to what I hope will be constructive commentary that you'll prefer.

Your characters are great, especially Taylor (your switch to SkitterTaylor again during the arc of angst was a wonder to read) and Missy (who you've managed to make exactly what she is - a battle hardened veteran and a little girl). Riley is adorable and terrifying all at once (she still stands in second to the joint Good Girl (Weaver Nine) and Bones (Atonement) versions of Riley), though I do feel she's grown up a little too fast. Still, you've managed to grasp her Bonesaw style tendencies in a way I don't think I've seen any author manage, as was her 'you're bad you can be reformed' approach to Emma. Lisa is well handled as well, though I'm pleased to see that her all work and no play attitude being shifted slightly in the latest chapter.

I actually like the schizophrenia of the tone - it fits reality very very well. The fact that it oscillates between serious and almost crack-like humour and laid-back attitudes is a huge part of Amelia's appeal, and I wouldn't put a disclaimer about it. Having said that, the pattern is a little predictable once you're into it - maybe shake things up a bit, lead us one way then hurtle another.

I have a few minor factual niggles (why did no-one in Pantheon seem to recognise Calvert's name when they heard he was director? Why is Theo's power multidimensional metal when there's no way he pinged off Flechette or anyone who'd grant his shard that power?) but the one issue I have so far is the sheer number of balls you've got to juggle. I might have missed the resolution of a couple of threads, but by my count we've still got to resolve Grue in the basement (what'll they do with him?), whether Taylor will edit her brain or not, Nilbog, what they did for Eidolon/Alexandria to improve their powers, Ziz's belief that her actions prevented the deaths of her brothers, that Vasil kid from the canon omake, plans for Scion, the whole Lily/Sabah mess, and so on. I don't doubt your ability to handle all of these, but I think the reason that so many other Worm fanfic authors write in arcs is it allows them to tie up smaller threads neatly and quickly. I'm not sure what you can do about it, but the structure as a whole is a little sprawling, lacking focus.

Which is kinda part of why I like it - we all need runny scrambled eggs sometimes (or in my case, quite a lot). But it's an issue that you should be aware of.

Anyway, I'll get back to lurking.
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Good to have you present and talking! Welcome to the fucked up family!

Some of these have been resolved, actually:
They chased him off and freed the captives. (Memory's fuzzy, but I don't think he's dead.)
She did. It didn't work out well. She then became the Butcher and... yeah. If you mean "will she do it again..." well, that's up in the air.
As for the rest... well, many more plot threads have come and gone so far, so I can only imagine these will be dealt with in the same way.

TN hasn't failed us yet. I supposed we'll just have to give him our hope, so he can stick his fangs into it and continue to suck the joy out of our lives.
 
HorizonRunner said:
Good to have you present and talking! Welcome to the fucked up family!

Some of these have been resolved, actually:
They chased him off and freed the captives. (Memory's fuzzy, but I don't think he's dead.)
She did. It didn't work out well. She then became the Butcher and... yeah. If you mean "will she do it again..." well, that's up in the air.
As for the rest... well, many more plot threads have come and gone so far, so I can only imagine these will be dealt with in the same way.

TN hasn't failed us yet. I supposed we'll just have to give him our hope, so he can stick his fangs into it and continue to suck the joy out of our lives.
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You misunderstand. As far as I recall
I'm fairly sure they captured him though I could be wrong, and if he ran off it's still unresolved.
Know that - meant will she try again, will Amy be ok with it etc.
 
hellgodsrus said:
You misunderstand. As far as I recall
I'm fairly sure they captured him though I could be wrong, and if he ran off it's still unresolved.
Know that - meant will she try again, will Amy be ok with it etc.
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Ahhh, I understand. My apologies. Yes, you're right.

Did Grue escape, or did he go to the Birdcage/somewhere else? It's weird, but I really can't remember for some reason.
 
hellgodsrus said:
You misunderstand. As far as I recall
I'm fairly sure they captured him though I could be wrong, and if he ran off it's still unresolved.
Know that - meant will she try again, will Amy be ok with it etc.
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Honestly, the main issue I think was she didn't talk to Amelia about it first. I think this Taylor is less heterosexual and more pan-romantic emotionally, but still hetero physically. If they you know, talked first I can see her do it again and it not biting her in the ass.
 
hellgodsrus said:
why did no-one in Pantheon seem to recognise Calvert's name when they heard he was director?
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Umm... they did? I don't recall them being surprised by the announcement, and as it was a Taylor interlude, and Taylor was all "holy shit, we won and ruined Piggot in order to replace her with our puppet", I'd say she was quite aware of who Calvert was.

Now, as only a handful of people in Pantheon know who Coil was- and they're all the upper leadership- the rest of the group wouldn't have any context of this- but Taylor certainly knew, as did Lisa, Amelia, and Riley.

No one else does, of course.

hellgodsrus said:
Why is Theo's power multidimensional metal when there's no way he pinged off Flechette or anyone who'd grant his shard that power?
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Why would he need a 'ping' to get that feature. Summoning matter out of nowhere is what his shard does. His power is summoning matter out of nowhere.

hellgodsrus said:
but by my count we've still got to resolve Grue in the basement (what'll they do with him?)
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He was captured and turned over to Dragon. I'm sure this is mentioned. Something about her being the only one with gear that they were sure would contain him, and being ready to kill him if he broke free BEFORE he was contained... I know this was covered...

hellgodsrus said:
whether Taylor will edit her brain or not
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... Umm... that was a significant plot point...

hellgodsrus said:
Nilbog
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It's clear Lisa's working out a perfect approach plan, and since they haven't done it yet, it's equally clear they haven't found one.

hellgodsrus said:
what they did for Eidolon/Alexandria to improve their powers
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I don't see how that's really a "plot point" to juggle, but you'll find out when they show them off in combat.

hellgodsrus said:
that Vasil kid from the canon omake
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Will likely never be seen in the story. As made clear in the omake.

hellgodsrus said:
plans for Scion
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Part of their problem is they have no plans for Scion. He's unbeatable and they don't know how to fix that. They occasionally mention thoughts in several chapters to this effect. They have no answers.

hellgodsrus said:
the whole Lily/Sabah mess
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What mess?
 
Well now interesting chapter, liked how things went with the"intervention"towards Lisa, not exactly what I expected but that's a good thing . Now I wonder what the reason for the Party will be, are Yumm Kaax and Rapture getting married ? Does Nilbog join the Team ?

Now it is true Lisa needs someone Like Taylor, Missy and even Riley have to a point to talk to and to be close of however I do not know who would really fit that bill as they would need to be at least very resistant to her power and be able to cope with her quirks.

I also wonder if Victoria will get close to Zach during the party and cheer him up a bit.

Very nice update.
 
Lisa is OOC in last chapter. Was all of this parts of a cunning plan? Or her powers messing with her head? I mean really - Zach and Emma? Worst plan ever.
 
Nigel Burnelli Isaacs said:
Does Nilbog join the Team ?
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NoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo thank you please. Nilbog isn't just a Class-S threat and a bad person, he's a guy who created an army of monsters which completely depopulated a town—and which are implied to have eaten everyone inside. He makes Bonesaw look nice. There is a reason We Don't Talk About Ellisburg is in effect throughout the PRT, and it's not just because they fucked up. It's because he's one of those Parahumans who you either nuke until the crater touches the mantle, or wall off and leave the hell alone. Pantheon may have a... few walking disaster areas, but they do their best to pretend they don't, really. Recruiting Nilbog would be pretty damn hard to hide, and would also be PR suicide on par with revealing "hey, we've been harboring Bonesaw since we were formed."

Beyond that, he's also redundant. Amy, Riley, and Rey can do what he does, probably more efficiently than he can. Plus, his god complex means he wouldn't settle for being anyone's subordinate... which would be a pretty big problem.
 
Keep in mind that she just triggered again, and that has seriously fucked with her head. First she triggers when her brother suicides, then again when her best friend practically sister suicides, and all because of her actions indirectly they may be. She is completely fucked in the Greek tragedy way. If I was Lisa, I think I would rather live in interesting times.
 
HorizonRunner said:
Recruiting Nilbog would be pretty damn hard to hide
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*points to the pantheon having access to dead earths*So recruit him and make him breed an army for the fight against Zion on one of those...(not that I was being really serious when I mentionned him being recruited, but eh this IS Amelia)
 
HorizonRunner said:
Beyond that, he's also redundant. Amy, Riley, and Rey can do what he does, probably more efficiently than he can. Plus, his god complex means he wouldn't settle for being anyone's subordinate
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Keep in mind that from the canon meeting between Weaver and Nilbog, so long as one speaks to him in the right way, you can get away with a lot. So, rather than making him a subordinate, treat it as a meeting of equals.
Nigel Burnelli Isaacs said:
*points to the pantheon having access to dead earths*So recruit him and make him breed an army for the fight against Zion on one of those...(not that I was being really serious when I mentionned him being recruited, but eh this IS Amelia)
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basically this. Except phrase it as one god doing another god a boon, with an boon to be returned in kind, later.
 
Nilbog doesn't view himself as a god. He views himself as a king, nothing more.
 
edale said:
If Amelia induces a 3rd trigger on Contessa, no ifs, ands, or buts; Scion's dead. Unrestricted Contessa killed Eden with a butter knife for crying out loud.
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Eden was heavily injured and lost a lot of shards.

Scion might still be too powerful for (3rd trigger) Path to Victory to work on him. PtV may simply not be able to out-think an actual space-wale.
 
voidseeker0 said:
Eden was heavily injured and lost a lot of shards.

Scion might still be too powerful for (3rd trigger) Path to Victory to work on him. PtV may simply not be able to out-think an actual space-wale.
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Bullshit. It is literally multiple times better than his own and if it could see him it could beat him.

That said. Not only is that a cheap way out they have no reason to trust Contessa nor a way to get where they could trust her not to turn on them.
 
selonianth said:
That said. Not only is that a cheap way out they have no reason to trust Contessa nor a way to get where they could trust her not to turn on them.
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That, and they don't know she exists. Makes it hard to do anything.

In addition, breaking Taboo doesn't break shard limitations. It breaks the memory limitations. Contessa already has a broken Taboo, she did it to herself early on... so moot point, that.
 
I'm glad that QQ has upgraded the forum in time for this whole spectacle. Glad to see you moved the story here, sorry to see it was under those circumstances. I am, however, pleased with anything that brings more traffic to this forum.
dasstan said:
basically this. Except phrase it as one god doing another god a boon, with an boon to be returned in kind, later.
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You don't even really need to go that far. Scion will be a threat to him no matter what, so he is doing himself a favor too.
 
Amelia, Ch 177
  • Threadmarks
    • Amelia, Ch 177


    "Alright," Missy instructed. "Everyone quiet."


    We waited in silence as Riley walked in. A quick mental instruction, and the walls unfurled. "Surprise!" we shouted in unison, causing the girl to jump like a bomb went off. "Happy birthday!"


    "But it's not my birthday!" she exclaimed, both confused and smiling.


    "Makes it easier to surprise you, doesn't it?" Missy pointed out, having warped around behind her friend, causing her to jump again.


    Emma spoke next. "I remember you saying you don't remember your actual birthday, so we decided to pick one for you. Because we can do that kinda thing. Plus we have to do it before it gets too cold to properly appreciate ice cream."


    "Plus nine, nine sounded like as good a number as any," Zach added. "Now let's all get fat on icecream. Except me, I have a power related exemption to obesity. The rest of you are just going to have to live with it."


    "Okay, Clarice," I said, glancing over at Vicky. Lucky us, she really had no idea of what Bonesaw looked like. Clarice was a 'known' low level shapeshifter, after all, so the black haired girl could easily be the same person, no questions asked.


    Of course, all the 'kids' of our group, Zach and Theo and Missy and Trevor, were here. And the 'adults', meaning the other core members. Except Rey, Sabah and Lily. There was no reason to involve them in this. The former had found an exciting new idea for his evolution project, and the others really didn't interact well with Riley. "So it's up to you. Food first, or cake?"


    Riley was all smiles. "What's the food?"


    "Pizza," I answered.


    "Pizza," Riley agreed.


    "My poor figure," Vicky moaned in mock grief.


    ....


    The various cliques formed up as expected. Emma and Trevor managed to trip across some kind of Tinker topic, and suddenly the rest of the party didn't exist to them. Taylor and I managed to back ourselves out of the center of attention, and somehow Lisa was chatting with Vicky and Crystal. I, meanwhile, thanked every star that Vicky had no idea she was talking to the girl formerly known as Tattletale.


    "Oh god damn it," Taylor sighed. AnnoyanceAmusement. "Remember when you said we needed to get Lisa laid? And then we forgot to do it?"


    A sense of dread hit me. "What is she trying to do this time?"


    "Let's put it this way... how would you like to have an immortal brother in law?"


    "You cannot possibly be serious," I groaned. "Honestly? Has Crystal mentioned how Zach keeps hitting on her?"


    "If I didn't know better, I'd swear she was in on it with Lisa," Taylor elaborated. "Come to think of it, I actually don't know better. Do you think your cousin would hook Zach up with your sister?"
    "Yes, I totally see that happening," I acknowledged, rubbing my hand over my eyes. "I am going to kill them both. Then I am going to have Riley raise them from the dead. Then I am going to turn them into cows and feed them to Dinah's griffon."


    "Don't you have a mass limitation? Pretty sure they're significantly smaller than a cow," Taylor joked.


    Then I'll turn them both into a single small cow," I corrected. "Happy now?"


    "I'll get the steak sauce," she offered. AmusedMischievous. "And maybe some chocolate sauce for later," she added in a low voice. I blushed, and then leaned against her.


    "You're a horrible tease," I informed her yet again.


    ....


    "Time for the cake!" Zach announced, carrying the tray it was on. What he set down was, amusingly enough, shaped like a mushroom. Some red toadstool looking thing with large black dots for eyes on the stem.


    "You are such a geek," Missy informed him.


    "Guilty," he agreed. "And it took me forever to find a bakery that could figure out what I was talking about. So show proper gratitude."


    "I love it!" Riley declared, smiling broadly. "I've never had a custom cake before!"



    CompassionPitySad. I glanced over at Taylor. She was right, it was sad. The poor girl had lived with a group of traveling monsters. If they even cared about her birthday, it was as a sick game by Jack. Riley was so happy every time she go to do something that was normal to the point of boring. And I was still thinking about that while singing her birthday song, and feeling sorry that we couldn't use her real name for it. Not for the first time, I wished I had made Jack's death take longer.


    "Blow out the candles and make a birthday wish," Missy instructed. Riley, smiling, did as instructed and took out all twelve candles in a single blow, to the cheers of everyone present. Some were probably more about being polite than anything, but it made her happy.


    Lisa stayed away from the cake, though she did grab some chocolate ice cream. I opted to approach her then, when she was alone for a minute. "Y'know, if you keep putting all this effort into getting Zach laid," I started. "I'm going to start to suspect you have a crush on him."


    She looked at me. "And if I deny it, you're just going to claim I'm in denial, huh?"


    "You did the same thing to me and Taylor for weeks, even knowing there was nothing at all between us," I pointed out.


    "Yep," she said with a 'pop' sound on the 'p'. "And that's why I'm not going to fall for the trap."


    "You do realize that I can create a disease that only works on you, right?" I asked. "That's my sister."


    "She thinks Zach's hot," Lisa informed my dismissive. "That's not my fault."


    "You don't have to encourage it," I insisted.


    "All I did was point out that he's surprisingly insightful for a moron," she insisted. "Crystal's the one who did most of the work."


    I just stood there, letting the skepticism drip from my stance.


    "... after I prompted her," Lisa admitted. "Besides, tell me your sister doesn't need someone with a sense of humor. Or, for that matter, the ability to actually understand other people. Something that seems genetically impossible for your family and everyone they're romantically interested in."


    "Don't see her going after a younger guy," I countered. I didn't bother arguing the second part of that. It was, after all, painfully true.


    "Only a bit over a year, there," Lisa corrected. "Less if you subtract the three months for not existing."


    "Well, at least he's an improvement over Dean," I finally conceded. "Do you have any idea how an empath could be so damn dense when it comes to people?"


    "As often as you've dealt with Lisa doing basically the same dumb things," Crystal spoke up from where she'd come up behind me. "You'd think you'd have figured it out by now. Thinkers are actually stupid."


    "Oh, fuck you, too," Lisa replied.


    ....


    "And now the most important part," I said. "Gifts!"


    Riley was, of course, still having the time of her life. It was something of a pity there weren't more kids around her age available for this. Not that she had a real lack of options.


    "Mine first," I handed her a package. Riley tore into it. "New backpack," I told her.


    "Love Bug!" she exclaimed, showing the picture on the pack. I kinda worried about her dealing with kids making fun of her for such obviously childish loves, but Clarice was already weird enough that a little more would only help her persona.


    Taylor handed hers over next. "Sort of a matching set," she said as Riley pulled out her brand new coat, same show theme. Granted, Clarice didn't need it and I was pretty sure Riley had added cybernetics that meant she didn't need it, either. "Hard to find one in a size that'd fit, but you've got it."


    Riley quickly put it on, despite it not being nearly cold enough for that yet. "It's perfect, thank you!"


    "We all had to pitch in on this one," Missy handed over hers. Riley opened it, pulling out a red and white outfit that was too small to be for her. It had extra arms, too. "We had Clotho put together a Christmas outfit for Snowball."


    "We were originally thinking a Halloween costume, but then we thought he doesn't need help for that," Theo spoke up.


    "I voted for Valentine's Day, myself," Zach added. "But I was overruled."


    "We'll have to show off mine later," Emma replied. "It isn't here yet."


    "Okay, I'm next," Victoria stated. I didn't even know she brought a gift. She waited for Riley to pull the wrapping off. Another outfit. "It's an equestrian outfit. For when you ride Bella."
    "Cool!" Riley pulled out the dark blue jacket.


    "It's from both of us," Crystal added.


    "My idea," Victoria claimed.


    "You didn't even know her size," Crystal argued back. "Plus I bought the boots, which are the best part."


    "Whatever," Victoria replied.


    "And I'm last," Lisa spoke up, handing over hers. "I figured everyone else would do clothes. I got you a book. Complete works of Edgar Allen Poe. I was gonna get you some Lovecraft, but then I decided that my sanity has suffered enough, already."


    =========

    A/N- A Waff chapter. I figured we were due for one.

    I'll get around to Moar Suffering! later.
     
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    • When are you going to do the tea party with Nilbog already? And make me wonder if GU will still keep content in the Birdcage when all the other major shard is having a real blast outside.
     
    This was really nice to read, as it shows that most of the team really care about Riley and the girl really needs that especially in light of the latest events.

    Also the Idea of Lisa having a crush on Zach made me smile, and with her playing matchmaker I get why everyone says she should get laid...Wonder if Amelia could somehow help with the power related problem Lisa has with that. I also wonder how things would go if Victoria and Zach get together.

    On completly unrelated note, given all they are doing shouldn't the Pantheon shards be firing buds left and right, at least Amelia and Taylor's given all they get through the bond.
     
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    Nigel Burnelli Isaacs said:
    On completly unrelated note, given all they are doing shouldn't the Pantheon shards be firing buds left and right, at least Amelia and Taylor's given all they get through the bond.
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    We're probably approaching a 'bud-zone' from at least a few of the shards. The problem is that they have to have someone to bud 'to.' That someone typically needs to have spent a long amount of time near the person from whom the bud came from.

    So...recipients for a bud: Victoria, Danny, and...

    ...there aren't a lot of normals around, are there?
     
    TanaNari said:
    It'd be easier just to create a device that's "both of you, take off your pants, sit on those chairs with the tubes, and try not to complain about how cold it is... when the light turns green, the one on that chair will be pregnant."
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    While this comment was most likely humourous, I could see Amelia and Riley create artificial wombs that could hold a developing foetus, they are after all capable of such things as cloning.
     
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