Amy Dallon, Herald of Andraste

[DigitalKitsune]

you know amy might actually be able to kill the blight if she ever gets her hands on a dark spawn?
hell she might be able to fix blighted areas too?
but would she even do it is a good question?

Click to shrink...

IMO at best the blight is too metaphysical and too spicy for Shaper to do anything with it aside from healing recently infected. At worst, Shaper gets corrupted like dragon gods. (Evacuate the local multiversal cluster)

 

[Kylia Quilor]

Author's Note: Now that Amy isn't in the same sort of crisis situation she was in the last few chapters, we'll get to see our favorite failgirl fall apart. As I did warn, this story is going to linger on Amy's issues at times, and that means, especially when it does linger, that the pacing may be a bit slow. Amy's got a lifetime of mess to work through, and it's not gonna be fast.

---

Amy didn't dream often.

First of all, to dream, you needed to sleep, and Amy didn't do enough of that. Secondly, when she did get to sleep, it was usually that she was finally so exhausted that she managed to sleep without dreaming, or at least without remembering anything.

When she did dream, she didn't usually have the nice dreams - the dreams where she got away from the Bay and from healing and just... got to live somewhere quiet. Where she could try to read books again and find someone who wasn't her sister to love and maybe have a pet cat and - and -

Just... be free. Not have everything crushing down on her.

No. Her dreams were usually nightmares. Usually about her family finding out about what she could do, about losing control of herself, her power, about hurting someone. Hurting Vicky. About Vicky finding out how she felt and - and - not just rejecting her (inevitable) but leaving her, abandoning her. Being all alone.

She sometimes had dreams about Carol, and her axe and standing over her - Carol had never threatened her, but she remembered being afraid of her, when she'd first come to life with the Dallons. She'd been afraid of a lot of things then, though...

But as she startled awake, a dream still lingering in her memory, Amy could confidently say she'd never had a dream or a nightmare like the one she'd just been having - some land of medieval bullshit and magic and a giant rift in the sky and demons and -

Amy's thoughts ran to a screeching halt as she realized several things, all at once.

This was not her bed. It was warm, warmer than she usually kept her bed outside of the deepest, coldest nights of winter - it felt like she had like two comforters piled on top of her. The blankets and the sheets were scratchy, rough - not a lot, but nothing like the sheets on her own bed. It also wasn't as soft, and the pillow wasn't squishing under her head right and -

And it was colder, on her face, and her neck, exposed above the blankets. Not freezing, but distinctly chill.

Her hand hurt. Her left hand. A dull, ache she wished she could say was unfamiliar, but it was actually terrifyingly familiar.

It was less, less intense, less... distracting, than the stabbing ache that had been her constant companion in that trek through a frozen valley to the ruins of a temple and closing a rift into another dimension and facing demons and -

But it was there. It was the same thing.

No.

Amy's eyes snapped open. Her head hurt. She needed coffee. And she needed to look around and see her own bedroom. Or like, a bed in a hospital. On Earth-Bet.

But she wasn't.

The ceiling above her was wood, and rustic. The whole room around her was rustic, lit by a brazier - that was the right word, right? - and with sunlight streaming in through an open window. The inside looked like the inside of a log cabin, or - there were furs mounted on the walls, the top cover on the bed looked like it was made from some kind of animal fur, and -

Amy's breath caught.

It was all real.

It wasn't a dream.

She was -

She wasn't home. She wasn't on Earth-Bet. She -

She wasn't -

Vicky. Amy screwed her eyes shut, trying to breath, trying to -

Rapid, shallow inhalations, exhalations, her heart in her chest, blood pounding in her ears.

It was all real. She was on another Earth, and she didn't have the slightest idea how to get home or when and her family probably thought she was dead and - and -

This stupid mark on my hand is still here! It wasn't glowing, much, but it was still there, all green lines all over her left hand... she blinked, tears rapidly gathering, feeling light-headed - she couldn't - she needed to -

She needed to breathe. She needed to -

Amy bit the inside of her cheek, trying to bring herself to focus, to -

I will get home. I'll see Victoria again. She'd closed the Breach. And - and that had to prove she was innocent so she wasn't going to die here right? No execution. And - then someone would help her figure out how to get home. Magic was real, so that meant someone would know dimension crossing magic? She'd ended up here, somehow.

So obviously she could go back. She had to be able to.

She had to.

She had to.

She repeated that over and over and over in her mind. She would get home. Somehow. She'd see her sister again.

Amy's nearly hiccuped as she tried to draw in a deep breath, and she tried to center herself, looking around. The bed was... the blanket under the fur-one had a weird, kinda geometric design, gold on black? Leaves? Sorta? There was a table, sort of desklike, by the window. A cup was on it.

Amy swallowed, licking her lips - she was thirsty. When was the last time she'd had anything to drink? How long had she been asleep?

Focus on that. Focus - focus. She was - she was going to see her sister again, but she just had to - she just had to keep her mind on what was in front of her.

Next to the cup on the table were her robes, folded, and - and the rest of her clothes.

They undressed me!? Amy felt her cheeks get hot.

It happened, of course, treating patients and god knows she might have been dying of hypothermia by the end for all she knew - it had been fucking cold out there, even in the temple that was still smouldering and there was that fight against that purple lightning-spewing thing and then the rift and -

Amy looked down at herself again. She was wearing some sort of... dress? Long, and kinda thin? Like a hospital gown? Or more like a nightgown, maybe. It was a plain, brown, worn fabric. Scratchy, but not... not horribly so.

Okay. Get dressed. And - and I hope that's water in the cup and I - I need to make sure they're not drugging the water somehow but -

If they wanted to drug her they had the chance. She wasn't chained up or tied up or anything this time, when she woke up...

Get dressed. Drink water. Make sure it's clean with my power first. She couldn't just stick a finger into water and kill all the shit in it, but she could at least make sure it wasn't filled with like, shit and god knows whatever else could end up in the water in the middle ages.

Didn't they all drink ale because the water was bad? Or was that just movies and the YA fantasy novels she read, back - back when she'd had...

Back when she'd still been able to enjoy books.

Amy shook her head. No. She needed to - she closed her eyes, tried to take a proper deep breath. She mostly managed to succeed this time but -

Focus. Focus. Focus.

Her sister would be focusing. Dealing with what was in front of her. Victoria could handle this.

I just... I just have to ask what Vicky would do...

And then maybe be a little less reckless and a lot less of a fucking nerd than her sister. She loved Vicky more than her own life, but she could get so into powers and how they worked and - Amy just didn't get it. It didn't matter, where they came from and the theories and -

They were here. She had one. And it was ruining her life. And saving so many others...

Except now, she couldn't save anyone in Brockton Bay. How many people were going to die there, because - because she wasn't there? And if her sister got hurt and she wasn't -

Vicky hasn't gotten seriously hurt since that day at the mall. Amy swallowed, latching onto that thought. Her sister could be reckless, but she'd learned her lesson about the limits of her forcefield. Victoria would be fine.

She'd be fine.

Amy was going to find a way home and she was going to see her again and until then -

Until then she was just going to have to -

She was going to have to focus on what was right in front of her.

Swallowing again, Amy licked chapped, dried lips and rubbed at her head. She needed coffee. Was that even a thing in this medieval shithole? Did they have coffee in the middle ages?

I suppose I could do with Tea, if that's all they have but please fucking let there be coffee... She felt less like a zombie than she usually did after waking up, but she'd probably gotten more than five hours of sleep, so...

Get dressed. Drink water. See if I can even leave this little... shack? House? One room hut? Cabin? What even is it? Where am I? What even happened? She'd closed the Breach, so...

Amy was jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of the door opening. Her head snapped back towards it - a woman, pointed ears - elf - carrying some kind of crate -

The woman let out a small startled shout and dropped the crate - the sound of something glass or clay jostling and maybe breaking rang out and the elf stepped back, eyes wide.

"I didn't know you were awake, I swear!" She said quickly, sounding - awed? Terrified? Amy couldn't tell.

Amy stared at her a moment, mouth moving wordlessly, and -

"Where - why - what-" Amy closed her mouth, flushing, floundering.

"That's wrong, isn't it? I said the wrong thing?"

"No? I don't - what the fuck?" Amy cut off whatever she'd been saying as the elf dropped the ground, fucking prostrating herself, forehead pressed to the ground, arms stretched out before her.

What the fuck?

"I beg your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant."

Oh no. Amy stared at the woman. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuckfuckfuck -

Cape cultists had been a thing, when Capes first happened. Even a few still were around now, but the fact that capes could die, sometimes insanely easily, and that the PRT didn't really like people openly worshipping Protectorate heroes.

I can heal shit, and I - fuck, it's not even the healing isn't it? There was a giant massive hole in the sky and demons - whatever the hell they actually were - had fallen through it and - and Amy had closed it.

If people could worship capes back home, then why wouldn't a bunch of medieval people think she was - a god? An angel? A saint?

"Stop! Get up! I'm not - I don't have any fucking blessings to give!" Amy said quickly, feeling herself breathing heavily again. She closed her eyes. Everyone's going to look at me. It's going to be right after my debut all over again. So many people stopping her in the streets, at school -

"I - I'm sorry for - I did not mean to presume-" the elf stammered out, lifting herself up a bit, sort of on all fours, still looking studiously at the ground. "They say you saved us. The Breach stopped growing."

Just stopped growing? Not closed? Okay, so not growing was good, no 'swallow the whole world' and all, but - that wasn't solving the problem.

And since Amy was the one with the fancy glowing mark on her hand, then -

I'm going to have to - If they still needed her to close it... Amy couldn't just - she had to stay at least long enough to do that? If this stupid mark was the only way...

She couldn't leave all the people who might get hurt by demons (fuck it still felt weird to say that. There had to be - demons couldn't be real and yet they were or at least they were something and she didn't think they were tinkertech or projections anymore but what the fuck were they?!) if the Breach wasn't closed and -

"It's all anyone has talked about for the last three days." the elven woman added added, finally looking up at her.

"Three DAYS?!" Amy didn't mean to screech that last word out so high - didn't even realize she had until she saw the woman flinch a little as she slowly stood up. "I was out for three days?!" She didn't feel like - she didn't feel like she was starving, so they must have... they didn't have IVs here but -

Broth maybe? Lots of broth and water down my throat while I slept?

But she was out for three days? And - and then there's -

Amy swallowed.

"Yes, your worship," the woman answered. "I - they - Lady Cassandra - she wanted to know as soon as you woke up." She started backing away, towards the door. "At once, she said. At once!"

Before Amy could even begin to process being called 'your worship', the woman was out of the door and closing it behind her, scampering off like she was terriifed of Amy. Amy wrapped her arms around her stomach, gut churning, throat tight.

All that shit and the Breach still isn't even closed. Fuck. And now - now she -

There were going to be so many eyes on her. And -

"I...I guess they're not going to put me on trial, at least?" Amy said, desperately grabbing onto something that might be a bright side. But was it actually the bright side? She bit her lip, then looked down at her hand, tracing the marks.

She wanted - she wanted to be back in the Bay. Back home. She wanted her own bed and her own room and her sister and she'd even take a lecture from Carol or one of her textbook disapproving glares or -

Amy felt tears in her eyes and she didn't hold them back, bursting into sobs, feeling wetness trailing down her cheeks. She wasn't even sure exactly why she was crying. Not which thing, not which problem pushed her over the edge.

There was a whole raft of reasons to cry. She was trapped on another Earth, and she didn't have the slightest idea how to get home, or if she ever would. If she'd ever see her sister again. If she'd see Carol, or Mark, or her cousins, her Aunt, her Uncle. She had this stupid mark on her hand and the Breach was still there and what else would she have to deal with to see that fixed? She was apparently the object of worship and - and -

And then there was the fact that the Earth she was on was some medieval shithole where magic was a thing and biology didn't even begin to make sense and - and - demons and -

She was never going to see her sister again, was she?

So far, no parahumans. No tinkers. Tinkertech is how people found about and - and contacted Earth-Aleph, right? So - so how -

How could she get home? Could magic send her home? Magic wasn't a thing on Earth-Bet, so -

"Vicky..." Amy whispered, grabbing the pillow behind her and hugging it tight against her, feeling herself rock back and forth on the bed, sniffling, nose starting to stuff up - she kept bawling, unable to stop herself, and not wanting to.

What was there left? No Victoria, no... no Carol, no - no Mark, nothing. She had nothing. Just herself. And and that - and that wasn't anything.

Eventually the tears started to slow, and then stop, but more because she had no tears left to cry, than managing to make herself stop. The pillow was soaked, the nightgown was pretty wet too, at least near the top... she swallowed, lips and mouth and throat even drier, making the whole motion almost painful.

Sniffling, Amy slowly put the pillow down, taking in a slow, shuddering breath.

Victoria wouldn't cry like that. Her sister would miss her, and miss Carol and Mark too, more than she did, but Vicky wouldn't become a sobbing mess. She'd -

She'd focus on the problem in front of her. And try to figure it out. This wasn't powers - though her sister wouldn't have had any way to know that and - and would probably still think that Solas was a Parahuman and that the demons were projections...

Like the fucking nerd Vicky was, she'd try to figure it all out. How it worked and what it all meant and how to fit it into all those Parahuman Studies books she'd read and -

Amy wasn't her sister. But her sister was the best hero - best person - Amy knew. Amy could never even hope to be even close to as amazing as Vicky, but...

Right now, Vicky would focus on the fact that the - the Breach is still a thing, apparently. And she'd handle the worship better. Vicky loved her fan clubs, her meet and greets. The publicity events. She thrived on attention and notice and -

Vicky wasn't vain, whatever idiots on PHO that Amy maybe got into fights with online using an alt account thought. She wasn't self-centered or an egomaniac, but - she enjoyed the spotlight. She wouldn't like being treated - treated like some sort of saint or... having people bow down to her...

Okay, she might like it for a little bit, but it would get old, quickly...

Amy tried to take another breath, then sniffled, swallowed dryly and looked to the cup on the desk. She got out of the bed, bare feet on a cold wooden floor and walked over to the table by the window, picking up the clay cup and looking inside. It looked like water. Smelled like it - or rather, didn't smell.

Power, time for you to do the only thing I actually almost like about you and make sure I don't get diarrhea or whatever from anything in this water.

At the first touch of the cold, refreshing liquid against her lips, Amy started greedily glugging it down, finishing off the whole thing almost faster than she could really realize she was doing it. She smacked her lips, tongue darting out to catch a few drops off her upper lip.

Amy stood there, swallowing again, taking another few breaths.

Okay. Breach. A thing. And - and - maybe most people aren't all... beg for blessings? Maybe? It was a plaintive, wishful thought, but she latched onto that.

Her sister would keep trying to get home, there was no doubt about that. But she wouldn't abandon all the people that needed help here, not if she was the only person who could help. And - and -

Amy couldn't either. Not just because it wasn't what Vicky would do but -

If she tried it, Amy knew the guilt would eat her alive. It would be worse than when she laid in bed, unable to sleep, all the people at hospitals suffering, hurting, dying because she wasn't there...

All the people in Brockton Bay she couldn't heal, because she was here -

I'm not there. I couldn't heal anyone in the Bay right now no matter what. It's like getting upset about people in hospitals in L.A.

Amy barked a hollow laugh. As if she didn't get worked up over that sometimes, when she had too much time to her thoughts, on a bad day. All the people she'd never be able to help, all the people dying all over the world she couldn't save, because she had to sleep and continue just figure out ways to heal faster and - and

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Amy bit her lower lip again, trying - and failing - to banish those thoughts. She didn't manage that, but she at least was able to return her main focus to the reality in front of her.

Amy looked at her clothes, folded up neatly on the table. They'd been cleaned - no blood on her robes, and her robes and her shirt had had the rips from that shade's claws sewn closed - it was a little obvious, but they'd made the effort, at least.

Robes in hand, Amy shivered. Out of the bed, the air was mostly brisk, rather than freezing, but all she was wearing was this scratchy nightgown...

Panacea didn't mean anything here. Her robes didn't mean anything. And they weren't exactly thick, but - it was something.

The window had wooden shutters that came inward, and she pushed them closed. She rubbed at her forehead.

Coffee. She was never going to have coffee again, was she?

She started to tug the nightgown off, but before she could do more than lift it as far her chin, the door opened and Amy let out an involuntary 'eek', jumping backwards, hands falling to her sides and the dress settling back down on her shoulders.

Katerina was standing in the doorway, ducking just a touch to get through the door. Her red hair was tied back into a loose ponytail, her sword slung over her back and wearing her armor.

"Amy, Lady Pentaghast and the others need to speak with you -" Katerina cut herself off, closing the door behind her. "Are you alright? You've been crying?" Katerina asked quickly, concern in voice, her posture, she came a little closer to her, reaching a hand out, and Amy pulled back. Her expression - genuine, concerned, worried - it reminded her of fucking Dean and all his well-meaning 'I just want to help you, talk to me' bullshit, the few times he'd tried to get her to open up.

Prying into her emotions with his stupid fucking powers and -

"I don't want to talk about it," Amy snapped. "Get out so I can change!" She pulled her hands down her face, trying to wipe away any remaining errant tears, trying to make it less obvious she'd been crying. Pointless, probably, but she didn't need anyone pestering her about it. Asking for details and -

Amy took a breath. "Go!" She gestured at Katerina.

Katerina hesitated a moment, opened her mouth, and then nodded slowly. "Fine. I'll be right outside. Don't dally, Lady Pentaghast is not the most patient of women."
"Really. I couldn't have guessed." Amy snarked. She rubbed at her head. Was there anything that had caffeine? At this point she'd take fucking tea.

Katerina chuckled, "Fair enough." She stepped back outside, waiting and Amy pulled off the nightgown, tossing it on the bed and putting on her clothes. Underneath her clothes were a few things - her official New Wave phone, which was borderline useless here, since she couldn't call anyone. It had a really good battery, and was pretty fancy in general, not quite tinkertech but inspired by and derived by a lot of tinkertech. The battery could even be recharged in the sun, slowly, though it wasn't good for the battery's long-term life, apparently.

She picked it up, pressing a button, but the phone was dead. Good battery or not, it had been on for god knew how long. She knew what she'd have seen if it was still working - her lock screen: Vicky hugging her with one arm, both of them looking at the Camera, her sister's other arm out of the screen - holding her phone to take the picture. Amy was smiling, Victoria was smiling...

It had been one of Amy's rare good days, a day she'd been able to mostly forget to feel guilty, hadn't ruined everything with her disgusting feelings, had just... been able to enjoy spending the day with her favorite person.

Amy blinked back tears, eyelids fluttering quickly and looked away from the phone. She... she'd worry about deciding if it was worth charging the battery or -

She stuffed the phone in her pocket. Apart from that - her wallet, with her ID (actual and student) and some dollar bills, a few coins and a picture of Victoria taking off. A wrapper for some kind of tasteless energy bar she'd eaten hours before the bomb that had taken her here. She remembered stuffing it into her mouth and then shoving the wrapper into her pocket and getting back to work...

She'd only eaten it because one of the nurses had pestered her to eat something, and it was easier to do that than block her out.

I guess they didn't know what it was and didn't throw it away?

Amy didn't bother taking the wallet or the wrapper, and then she looked at her robes. They were warmer than nothing, and they had a hood. If people were going to stare at her or... or worse, then being able to hide her face was at least better than nothing.

At least nobody will be calling me Panacea here. No pretending that there was actually some sort of separation between her and her cape identity. Even years on, she still didn't get why everyone else in New Wave insisted on using cape names when in costume.

Amy approached the door.

She wanted to go back to the bed, get under the covers and just... pretend. Pretend this wasn't happening. Pretend she was going to go to sleep and wake up back home and this was all going to be a dream.

It wasn't.

And -

Amy looked at her left hand, at the faintly glowing lines of the mark. It still ached, but barely. A very dull, distant sort of ache, easy to forget, especially with how much her head hurt.

Coffee.

She took a breath, pulled her hood over her face as much as she could and grabbed the door handle, opening it.

Brisk air rushed in, hitting her face full blast. Katerina was standing in front, and past her, two more soldiers, standing at attention... with fists clasped to their chests. The local version of a salute.

Amy looked away from them, ignoring Katerina say they needed to move, and turned her eyes upward. The Breach was still there, up in the sky, but it looked... calmer, less angry. It wasn't expanding, and her mark wasn't doing the thing it had before, where it randomly started spiking in pain as the Breach expanded so...

At least I accomplished something. What had she done wrong? Had she not held her hand right for long enough? Or - or had the rift not been good enough?

Maybe we do need to fly up there?

Amy heard murmurings and voices ahead, and she looked back down, past Katerina and the guards and her heart plummeted in her chest at the assembled mass of people - some wearing red and white robes kind of like the ones Chancellor Roderick had, more soldiers, and just... people. Civilians? The people who lived here in Haven? She was back in Haven, right? Seemed like it...

They were all looking at her, and all the soldiers had fists pressed against their chests and -

Amy closed her eyes. She took another deep breath.

Katerina's hand touched her shoulder.

"Amy?"

Amy let out a small 'ah' and jumped a little, opening her eyes and looking up at Katerina - literally, as she was reminded how much taller than her the other woman was.

"I don't suppose there's any chance you can make them all go away?"

Katerina blinked for a moment, then looked back over her shoulder and then back to Amy. "No? I - they all want to see you. Nothing wrong with people getting a chance to thank their savior."

"I didn't save anyone. That thing," she gestured at the hole in the sky, "is still there."

"It's not expanding anymore. It's not raining balls of fire. No new rifts are opening around the village. It's better than things were before you started sealing rifts," Katerina pointed out. "I can't just make everyone go away."

"Fine. Just - keep them away from me." Amy muttered. "Make sure they don't - thank me or - ask for my blessing or whatever."

"...ask for your blessing?" Katerina furrowed her brow. "Are you giving those out now?"

"No!" Amy half-shouted, flushing when she realized everyone would have heard that. She lowered her voice, "I don't have any fucking blessings to give! That - the - woman who told Cassandra that I was awake fucking prostrated herself and asked for my blessing and - I don't - I don't have one. Why would she even do that?"

"Well, you can heal people with a touch - without using magic -, you did save us from the Breach getting worse, and... everyone's calling you the Herald of Andraste." Katerina ticked them off on her fingers.

That name. It rang a bell, but it took Amy a moment to remember. The Temple of Sacred Ashes. Katerina had muttered something about it being the resting place of 'Andraste'. Sacred Ashes, temple, resting place. Obviously some kind of like... holy person.

"Who the fuck is Andraste?" Then Amy shook her head. "Nevermind, I don't fucking care. I'm not a Herald of anyone or anything. I'm not holy, I'm not - I don't have any blessings and my power isn't one either." Amy pulled her robes tighter around herself. "Let's... let's just get this over with. You said Cassandra isn't very patient."

"True." Katerina started off, and Amy followed her, staying as close as she could, having to pick up her pace to match Katerina's stride, but it wasn't like the other woman was trying to move quickly, so it wasn't hard. She heard the murmurs more clearly, as they passed, people on both sides of them.

"That's her... that's the Herald of Andraste."

"They say she's a mage."

"I heard she doesn't use magic. But she still healed Jacen." Another said. "He was dying and then she touched him and he wasn't. She's blessed by the Maker."

"Impossible. She's just a mage. Look, she's got robes!"

Amy tried to ignore them, but it was hard.

"They say when she came out of the Fade, Andraste herself was watching over her."

Right yeah, a dead woman was personally watching over me.

A part of Amy pointed out that this was a world where magic and elves and demons and fuck if she knew what else was real, but Amy was going to draw the line at ghosts, damnit! There had to be some fucking sanity in the world!

Amy didn't say anything. Back when she'd started healing, when her power was new and there was still an almost enjoyable novelty to it all, she'd argued with people who had said her powers were a gift from God, or thanked God for sending her to them or... whatever else.

It hadn't gone anywhere, and eventually Amy had given up on it. Here, where she didn't even have a passive, loose understanding of the religion?

"Hush, we shouldn't disturb her," another said, and Amy shrunk in on herself more. Even with her robes and her hood, random people could tell how fucking pathetic she was.

"You said it was Cassandra and the others. Who exactly are the others?" Amy asked, trying to avoid thinking about the people staring, as they started to finally get close to the end of the knot of people assembled on the path. Up ahead she could see the big stone building that she'd woken up in originally, her prison in the basement...

"Leliana, I assume?" She asked. The older redheaded woman had seemed to be as in charge of things as Cassandra. She'd said something about being the 'left hand' of Divine Justinia. So... important person.

"Lady Pentaghast and Sister Leliana, yes," Katerina answered, looking back over her shoulder a moment as she talked. "Commander Cullen and Lady Montilyet are there as well."

"...I have no idea who those people are." Amy pointed out once Katerina didn't follow through on explaining anything. "Not from Thedas, remember?" She was going to have to repeat herself on that front a lot, wasn't she. That and 'my power isn't magic'. Though Cassandra and Solas had both confirmed it, so obviously mages and the people who had policed them had some way of... detecting magic?

Fuck, I feel like an idiot even entertaining all this. But it was the reality she was dealing with. Maybe there was a scientific answer, maybe there wasn't - either way, Amy didn't care. It was magic, for all intents, apparently. Not powers, not tinkertech. Magic.

"Commander Cullen is in charge of all the soldiers here," Katerina explained.

"So... your boss?"

"My commanding office, yes, more or less." Katerina agreed. "Lady Montilyet is some sort of noblewoman from Antiva. A diplomat, I think." The swordsman shrugged, "probably was supposed to help with the negotiations before the explosion..." Katerina trailed off, and went silent for a long moment as they kept going. They passed another smaller group, and Amy caught part of their quiet discussion as these people too stared at her.

"...the Breach is still there though."

"...stopped it getting worse..."

"...smaller rifts still all over. Near the crossroads."

"...can close those too..."

Amy grit her teeth and let out a frustrated breath. More of those rifts. And she had to close those too, since who the fuck else could, huh?

"More rifts?"

"That's the rumor." Katerina confirmed. "Probably one of the things Lady Pentaghast wants to talk to you about."

"She didn't say?"

"No," Katerina shook her head. "She just told me to fetch you."

"Fun." She let out another long, exasperated breath as they finally reached the big stone structure. A church, maybe? Or whatever they called those here. Temple?

The heavy-looking wooden double doors were painted with a yellow sunburst pattern. There were a bunch more of those red and white robed people clustered around - priests and priestesses? - talking, but they got quieter as Amy and Katerina got closer. One of them started to approach.

"Lady Pentaghast needs to speak to her immediately," Katerina cut in before the man - an older man just starting to go gray - could do more than open his mouth. After a moment, he nodded and stepped back. Amy muttered a thanks to Katerina, and then watched Katerina push the double doors open, revealing the interior of the building.

"Just ahead, through that door there at the far end," Katerina gestured, past the pillars and the torches blazing in metal holders - Amy couldn't remember the right word for them.

"...At least I know they're not going to put me on trial if they think I'm some holy fucking savior." Amy murmured to herself.

"Hessarian burned Andraste to death before deciding maybe she had the right idea, so I wouldn't count on it," Katerina offered, and then turned, having the gall to fucking grin for just a moment after saying it. "But Roderick has been insisting you be dragged to Val Royeaux for trial for the last two days and no one's been listening to him so you're probably fine."

"...you suck at reassuring people."

"Somehow, I think false reassurance would annoy you more," Katerina countered. Then she took a breath, and her expression was more somber. "I don't know what's going to happen, but you were brave enough to stick with us through all those demons even though you're not a fighter."

It wasn't bravery. She just didn't have any other choice. She wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she hadn't kept going.

"So I should be brave enough to handle this?" Amy cocked an eyebrow, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"Oh, Lady Pentaghast is more terrifying than any demon," Katerina chuckled. "But she is a fair woman, and a good one. She's famous. They even named her a Hero of Orlais for her actions protecting Divine Beatrix from blood magi. Killed a dragon and everything."

"Dragons?" Amy rolled her eyes. "Of course there are fucking dragons here too."

"You say you're not from Thedas, and you seem surprised that elves, dwarves and dragons exist, but you know what they are?"

"Because they're fantasy! Fairy tales! Things dreamed up by people's imaginations! And now here I am in a place where it's all real!" Amy bit her lower lip. "I used to read stories about magic and dragons and heroic adventures in places like this." Back before everything had become too much. She hadn't planned on giving up on books - for years, they'd been her primary retreat from the stresses of living with Carol and not really having friends and -

And then she'd gotten her powers and... she just sort of stopped. Stopped reading, stopped wanting to read, stopped being able to enjoy it...

"I never wanted to live through them." Amy said quieter, looking down at the floor. "I don't need this crap." She looked at her left hand again, glaring at the faintly glowing marks. "Why couldn't the stupid Breach have just been closed?"

"Not a clue. But with any luck, Lady Pentaghast or one of the others has a theory." Katerina offered. "Go on, you really shouldn't keep her waiting."

"What is she going to do, kill the healer? Kill the person that can close these rifts and the Breach?" Amy chuckled darkly, humorlessly.

"Worse. She'll yell at you." Katerina answered with a grin, before turning back and leaving the building, the heavy wooden doors swinging shut behind her.

Can't be worse than Carol giving me shit. Amy swallowed and took a breath, and then proceeded through the large, open empty space to the far end. As she got closer, she heard voices:

"Have you gone completely mad?!" That sounded like Chancellor Roderick. "She should be taken to Val Royeaux immediately, to be tried by whomever becomes Divine!"

Okay, so Val Royeaux is... Rome? If the 'Chantry' was basically the Catholic Church and the Divine was the Pope, then it sounded like Val Royeaux was the capital of it, center of its system. Katerina had said Roderick wanted her tried still, but -

"I do not believe she is guilty." Cassandra's voice countered, firm, unyielding.

"The prisoner failed, Seeker. The Breach remains. For all you know, she intended for this outcome!?"

"She is barely more than a child!" Okay, I'm 17, I'm not a fucking kid. Granted, Cassandra was probably around Carol's age, so that... that made sense for her to say that, but Amy was technically old enough to drive and - she wasn't just some snot-nosed little eight year old brat.

"She is a mage, and they are all dangerous regardless of age!"

"She is not a mage. Whatever her abilities are, they are not magic. They do not draw upon the Fade."

No, they're from... wherever the fuck powers come from. God, another place her sister would be able to explain things so much better. She could at least offer the theories about the origins of powers. Amy didn't even have that much - just a few half-remembered details from her power testing, and all the times Vicky talked about what she learned about powers - her sister's excited sharing of that stuff tended to blend and blur in her mind.

Amy stilled, listening to the conversation for a moment, standing in front of the door, reaching, but not quite touching the doorknob.

"You speak the impossible as if it is so simple, Lady Cassandra! How can you be so sure?"

"I am a Seeker. Just as Templars, we know when magic is used, and when it is not. She is not a mage, and she was not behind the destruction of the Chantry, or the opening of the Breach." It was nice to know that the woman didn't think she was guilty, but Amy could have used that belief earlier. And how much of it was because people apparently thought she was... holy or blessed by God - or the Maker, they called him here.

"That is not for you to decide. Your duty is to serve the Chantry." And no one is in charge right now.

"My duty is to serve the principles upon which the Chantry was founded, Chancellor. As is yours." Cassandra corrected him. That sounded like something her mother might say, about the PRT. Carol and Aunt Sarah didn't really... trust the PRT. too institutional, too concerned with its own thing, long-term structural stuff to really care about principles. Too willing to... just let things stick.

The fact that Empire 88 was still running around in the city after all they'd done was proof enough of that for Carol, for Aunt Sarah. For Amy too, really. She'd healed too many people attacked, beaten, broken by those fucking Nazis to not understand intimately how destructive they were for the Bay.

Amy took one last breath - Roderick didn't seem to be saying anything so she wasn't going to interrupt, and she couldn't just stand out here the whole time.

She pressed the latch of the door and pushed against it, opening it inwards, revealing a smallish room lit by candles and torches, filled bookshelves built into the walls, a table at the center of the room, with books and maps spread out on it.

There were seven people in the room, which was almost too many for the space - Roderik, standing at one end of the table. Two guards just inside the door, where she stood now, helmets covering their faces. Leliana and Cassandra, standing on the other side of the table from the entrance, Cassandra bent over, examining something on a map, Leliana's arms crossed in front of her.

The other two, Amy hadn't seen before. One was a tall, tired-looking man with short, curly blonde hair. He wore armor, heavier than Cassandra's, with... big furry bits on his shoulders. Maybe part or a cape? It looked ridiculous, but it was also probably pretty warm. Which right now, sounded really nice.

The inside of this building wasn't cold - all the candles and torches and insulation from the stone probably - but outside? And what would it be like at night?

Amy guessed that was Commander Cullen, which meant that the other one - a dark skinned, attractive woman, with dark hair and wearing a yellow silk shirt, with poofy-shoulders, right out of a period drama, and a purplish vesty-thing, a big gold necklace around her neck. She held an angled piece of wood with a candle on a flat bit at the top, unlit right now, paper on the wood... it made Amy think of a clipboard, which it... probably kind of was like, actually.

Josephine Montilyet then?

She barely had a chance to take everyone in - Cullen and Josephine were standing on the other end of the table from Roderick - before Roderick gestured at her aggressively.

"Chain her! I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial!"

Amy froze. The guards were completely covered in armor, so she couldn't touch either of them even if she -

"Disregard that, and leave us," Cassandra ordered, and Amy looked back and forth at the guards - who didn't seem to hesitate to obey Cassandra's orders, clasping fists to chests and leaving the room, closing the door behind them, making it feel a little less crowded, at least.

"You are walking a dangerous line, Seeker." Roderick said, a warning note to his tone, hands balled into fists at his side.

"The Breach remains, but it is still a threat, and one I will not ignore. She is the only one who might be able to close it."

"She is quite possibly the one who opened it, or at least working with those who did! Rebel mages are not above throwing apprentices into the fire!" Roderick snarled.

"I'm not a fucking mage!" Amy raised her voice. "I didn't blow up the Conclave - I wouldn't even know how to, let alone do it, and I barely even know what the Fade is, let alone how to open some stupid... rift in space-time into it or whatever the fuck the Breach is. Is this stupid fucking thing," she lifted up her left hand and pointed to it with her right, to the glowing lines of her 'mark', "the only reason you think I'm guilty?"

"You appeared from nowhere in the aftermath of the explosion, the only one found alive at the ruins, and 'coincidentally' have the ability to close the rifts opened by the explosion!" Roderick threw his hands up. "You cannot expect us to consider that mere accident!?"

"I'm not a fucking lawyer, but where I come from, I'm pretty sure a coincidence isn't enough to convict someone!" Amy snapped. "I didn't ask to end up in this medieval shithole where magic and demons and apparently fucking dragons are a thing, and I didn't ask for this stupid goddamned thing on my hand that feels like I'm being stabbed right through it any time I get near one of those rifts. And I didn't ask for all those people out there," she gestured behind her, "to start calling me a fucking - Saint or whatever the fuck it is they think I am!"

Amy didn't normally do this, didn't yell, didn't... verbalize her anger, but after everything that had happened - threatening Skitter and Tattletale at the bank had been unusual for her, but they'd both made her so fucking angry, and this whole fucking situation was insane on a scale that made the bank look like nothing.

It was be angry, or go back to crying, and like it or not (for the record, not), apparently people's lives depended on her. She had to focus on that.

"We know she wasn't involved because we saw the echoes of what happened in the moments before the explosion. Most Holy called out to her," Cassandra said. "For help. And she was not alone. There was someone else there, with her."

"Someone she did not expect, at that, and whoever it was, even if they perished in the explosion, they might have had allies." Leliana added, stepping forward. "Allies that remain."

Roderick let his mouth fall open. "I am a suspect?"

Turnabout is fair play, Amy thought spitefully, then shrank in on herself at the pettiness of the thought.

"It would not be the first time that elements from within the Chantry conspired with enemies of it to strike at the Divine," Cassandra said deliberately, sounding like she was hinting at something.

"Among others," Leliana confirmed. "As Chancellor, your authority in the absence of the Divine is significant. And Divine Justinia had many enemies among the Grand Clerics... most of whom refused to attend the Conclave."

Politics. Fucking politics.

Was this all some sort of power play? She remembered something like this, in a book she'd read once - a princess framed for the murder of her father, the King, and having to unravel the conspiracy among a bunch of the nobles to put her uncle on the throne as a puppet. It hadn't been as good as the Roaraxia books, but it had been fun.

And now it was apparently her life. She didn't know anything about this, but she was going to have to learn at least a little, right? At least enough so I know what the fuck to expect.

"But not her?!" Roderick said, incredulous, gesturing at her. "Not this false prophet you've raised up-"

"I have a name, jackass!" Amy glared at him, though with her hood still up, he probably wasn't getting a good enough look at her face to tell. "And I'm not a fucking prophet!"

"You were exactly what we needed in our darkest hour," Cassandra said firmly. "Providence provided you to us-"

"A psychotic tinker with more bombs than brains is the reason I'm here, not God or the Maker or whatever the fuck you call him."

"Your own 'Herald' denies your claims. And you hope to stand against the Chantry with her as your symbol?" Roderick scoffed. Cassandra opened her mouth to retort, but then the dark-skinned woman, Josephine, stepped forward and took this chance to cut into the conversation:

"Chancellor Roderick," she said in a calm, level voice, clearly trying to ratchet down the tension in the room. "This isn't about standing against the Chantry. But without a Divine, there is no one to lead it, and it will take time for the Grand Clerics to elect another. Time we may not have with the Breach remaining."

"And what right do you have to decide that it is you who gets to act, Lady Montilyet? Without the Divine, there is no one with that authority! What you propose is madness, anarchy!"

As he'd been speaking, Cassandra had stepped away from the table, retrieving something from one of the bookshelves, and returned with it, a heavy book iron in the cover, metal hinges built into it, clasped shut with more metal, and a the same sunburst pattern that had been on the doors of this building on it.

Cassandra slammed the book on the table hard enough to make it shake, the thud ringing through the small room. Roderick looked down at it, and then stiffened.

"You know what this is, Chancellor," Cassandra pointed to the book. "A writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act."

"You would risk-" Roderick started, but Cassandra cut him off.

"As if this moment, under the authority granted by the Divine to her Right and Left Hands by this writ, I declare the Inquisition reborn!" Cassandra stepped closer to Roderick, raising one hand up, not quite poking him in the chest as the man stepped back, away from her.

"We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order," Cassandra continued, voice firm, unyielding, her expression grim, set. Cullen didn't seem to have much of a reaction, and Leliana's expression was entirely unreadable, but as Amy's eyes darted away from Cassandra for a moment, she saw that Josephine was stiff, a little uncomfortable, judging from the grimace that passed across her face for a moment.

"With or without your approval!"

Roderick stared at her a moment, as if expecting Cassandra to say more, or to reveal she'd just been joking, but then he stormed out, wordlessly, slamming the door behind him.

Okay, so... what just happened. The room remained quiet for a moment, and Amy tried to work through what she'd just heard. Her eyes flicked down to the book. Roderick had sounded like he did know what it was, but didn't think having the 'Inquisition' be reborn was a good idea, which...

I mean, the only Inquisition I know about is the Spanish one, and I'm pretty sure they were a lot worse than that British comedy routine had them be. She vaguely remembered something about persecutions and torture from history classes.

"Well. Now that we've alienated what's left of the Chantry leadership, I suppose we should get to work on that," Josephine said, her voice chipper in a way that was obviously forced.

"We are not declaring war on the Chantry," Leliana said, as if chiding Josephine.

"No, you're just declaring them irrelevant," Josephine pointed out, "Which likely offends the remaining Grand Clerics even more. Invoking Divine Justinia's writ to reestablish the Inquisition- the implications-"

"It is the only choice. Without a Divine, and with Orlais in the middle of a civil war, and no peace forged between the Templars and the rebel mages, there is no one else who can be expected to do what must be done." Cassandra said, placing her hands flat on the table as she leaned forward.

"With what forces, Cassandra?" Cullen asked, speaking up. "What forces we have are those willing to remain that also survived the fighting against the demons after the explosion of the Chantry. We barely survived that battle. And now you propose we start a war - once we know who it is we're fighting.

"We did survive it, because of her." Cassandra looked to Amy. "You were able to close the rifts."

"Yes, but I'm not the 'Herald of Andraste'! I barely know who that even is, and I don't have the faintest idea about any of this! I'm not - I'm some fucking chosen one!"

"Believe what you will. No one is outside the Maker's will," Cassandra said firmly, without even a hint of wavering. Great. A true believer. "You were exactly what we needed, when we needed it.

"So you're going from holding me prisoner, chains and all, declaring me guilty on the thinnest of pretextes - you were going to fucking kill me in that cell - and now you're raising me up as some kind of holy icon!? Do you realize how insane that sounds!"

Anyone who tried to - anyone who tried to revere her or consider her sacred or worship or - they'd be rapidly disappointed to see it was her, not some divine prophet. Plain Amy.

Vicky wouldn't like being worshipped, not for long, but she'd know how to handle it.

"I was wrong to accuse you, and threaten you," Cassandra admitted. "I was lost in my grief and lashing out at the first target that presented itself. But you proved your innocence, and your courage."

"I'm not - I'm not brave. And I am not telling people that I'm sent by your - Maker." Amy insisted, pulling her hood down off her head, then crossing her arms in front of her.

"At this point, the idea has begun to take root, and if you continue to close the rifts, and eventually the Breach, people will believe it, regardless of what you say." Leliana said.

"Fuck me," Amy's shoulders sagged. She swallowed. She looked up at the ceiling a moment, then under her breath, very quietly, "What Would Vicky Do?"

"Your mark is the only hope we have of closing the Breach," Leliana added. "None of this will be possible without you. It is your choice, but if you do not aid us-"

"People will assume I'm guilty." Amy muttered. "Catch-22 if there ever was one." She pulled a hand down her face, letting out a long breath. "It's not like not helping was ever a choice. I can't - I can't just sit around and do nothing while people could be dying from something I can stop." Amy took in a breath. "But I'm not signing up for some - some fucking Holy War to persecute heretics and... burn pagans at the stake or anything like that. And I'm not telling people I'm the Herald of Andraste. If they want to believe it, I can't fucking stop them, but I won't lie."

"We are already at war. Someone destroyed the Conclave," Cassandra said, quietly. "The Inquisition of old restored order in a time when the world had gone mad, in the aftermath of the Tevinter Imperium's fall. They did not act mindlessly, or without care and caution - they punished blood mages and those who would kill innocents in the name of Andraste in equal measure."

Okay, so that... doesn't sound like an Inquisition.

"Then... as long as that's what's happening... not like I have a fucking choice anyway." Amy sighed. She looked at the map on the table. There were various flags pinned into it, marking specific locations. There was a mountain range with a series of pins, and the word 'Haven' marked by one of them. On the eastern side of the mountains, a country labeled 'Kingdom of Ferelden', on the western, a much larger one called 'Empire of Orlais', and then another one called 'Kingdom of Nevarra' north of Orlais and a region labeled 'the Free Marches' north of Ferelden, across what looked like some kind of sea.

The map cut off, but it looked like there was more continent than that to the north.

"So fine. I'm in." She took a breath. "And when this is over..." Amy paused, blinking rapidly, trying to make sure she didn't start crying again. "When this is over... promise you'll help me figure out how to get home." If it's even -

Amy cut that thought off. She had to believe she could get home. She had to believe she'd see Victoria again.

And if I tell myself that enough times, maybe I'll actually believe it. Hadn't worked for anything else, but-

Cassandra walked over to her and held out a hand. "If you can help us close the Breach and restore order, then when this is over, I will help you, if I can."

"Then I guess you have yourselves a healer and a rift-closer." Amy shook Cassandra's hand, then let her arm fall by her side. "But how exactly are we going to close the Breach? Why didn't it close before? And -" Amy sighed. "I'm just here for closing the rifts, the Breach, not all the politics and religion bullshit but - I - I need to know some of it, I guess." Vicky would want to know. She'd probably ignore half the nuances and charge in headfirst anyway, but she studied up on all the capes in the Bay, and beyond, all the time. Forewarned is forearmed. She'd want to know the details.

"What kind of mess did I land in the middle of?"

---

Author's Note: For those that haven't read Ward or even read the handful of excerpts I have, Roaraxia is the name of a series of fantasy books she read (and really liked) pre-triggering that is mentioned in a flashback in Ward. As I said, I take what I like from Ward, even if I'm not holding myself to it, and that was a detail I liked.

Also, the fact that the 'Common Tongue' of Thedas is English and uses the Romance Alphabet (and thus Amy can read it) is definitely all kinds of bullshit, but I really don't want to have to deal with Amy needing translation and being unable to read anything here in Thedas, so... I mean, travelling to Thedas via Bakuda-bomb is also kinda bullshit, so it's kind of part of the territory. Please go with it.

 

[fuddler]

I wonder if the first instance of Amy pushing her boundaries will be something like turbocharging the metabolism of animals like rams or druffalo to make them gain more weight so they can feed more people. Just funnel grass into the animal and have it convert to meat and fat at incredible speed, to help the starving people, as she can't do much healing if a people is emaciated.

As far as I know, Amy can't affect vegetation at all, which is why she would need to do a round about way of bulking them up, as she couldn't just transform trees into vegetables. It's part of her Manton Limit, I think.

 

[Kylia Quilor]

As far as I know, Amy can't affect vegetation at all,

Click to shrink...

As far as I am concerned, Amy can in fact do plants. It makes sense for her power and theres nothing in canon that ever says she *can't* do plants. There's nothing that says she /can/ so one can go either way. But Amy can do plants here.

Now, whether she could actually, say, make better food crops or something is more nuanced and complicated and runs into the fact that [Shaper] is a fucking prick.

 

[Katana_Master]

I wonder what Amy's reaction to Cole will be. On one hand, another darn Thinker trying to get in her head. On the other, someone who actually understands and is trying to help.

 

[Kylia Quilor]

On one hand, another darn Thinker trying to get in her head.

Click to shrink...

That's probably the part that will bother her the most.

 

[fuddler]

As far as I am concerned, Amy can in fact do plants. It makes sense for her power and theres nothing in canon that ever says she *can't* do plants. There's nothing that says she /can/ so one can go either way. But Amy can do plants here.

Now, whether she could actually, say, make better food crops or something is more nuanced and complicated and runs into the fact that [Shaper] is a fucking prick.

Click to shrink...

Thinking on this some more, wouldn't that sort of invalidate a lot of Amy's struggles? Not the family ones, those are an entirely separate matter, but at least her power struggles would be much less pressing if she could do plants.

Amy is an interesting character because she's rightfully scared of what her power can do, but still completely burnt out, overworked and depressed, desperate to do anything new with her power, at least subconsciously, but with no real opportunity to. She can't mess around with people because that's horrible and immoral, she can't just buy a lab-rat because Carol would notice, and she would need to justify it to her somehow, she could catch a rat herself, but then she would need to justify to herself all that effort just to experiment on a living creature, something she thinks is evil and selfish, so she would talk herself out of it, and she can't mess with bacteria because she could mess up and make a terrible virus by accident, so she has no real options.

If she could have, at any time, just bought a houseplant and given her self effectively infinite things she could mess with in a safe environment, then all her impressive self-control just feels silly. Even is Amy somehow wouldn't have thought of that because of her all-encompassing depression, surely she would have confided in Vicky at some point how drained she feels just doing the same thing day after day, though it's not like she would stop of course, that would be evil etc, and self professed power nerd Vicky wouldn't have been like "Why not mess around with flowers or something? Won't have to worry about hurting anyone then." then what excuse could Amy give to herself that would make doing that seem terrible, because I can't think of a reasonable one.

Though you are right, it doesn't say she CAN'T do plants anywhere, and by all right's if she can do flesh and bacteria it would make sense, but then shards can make whatever limitations they feel like, and excluding plants would then force the host to interact with living things instead of just messing with tree's all day, and Shaper could have just took a look though Amy's memoried for what she considered living things and saw that plants weren't on the list and excluded them.

Of course, this doesn't change this story, but I hope you have some kind of explanation for why she didn't ever just change a flower's colour or mess with how well it's cells hold water or something to relive stress, she could even do it without changing the way it looks to hide it from Carol.

 

[Kylia Quilor]

SNIP

Click to shrink...

I think you're applying too much logic to Amy's hangups, which are by definition not logical.

Amy doesn't want her power. She doesn't want to experiment, and she doesn't want to mess with plants. She's constantly afraid she's a monster once she finds out about her dad being a villain. There's also not much actual evidence that she has some inherent urge to experiment, though that's a reasonable supposition, but it's unclear if it's true or to what extent it is.

Also, I doubt Shaper would be happy with minor plant messing. The Wretch (and the Giants, from Ward) is likely more emblematic of what Shaper wants - not sure what the plant equivalent of the Wretch is, but it would be an abomination against God and Nature.

Shaper is going to hate Amy less once Amy starts branching out and experiencing the weird biology of Thedas, but making Shaper happy probably requires some pretty horrifying shit.

In theory, yes, if Amy could get over herself and use her power on plants constructively, she'd probably feel better about herself and her power - that is the basis for some excellent fics, such as "Her Bark is Worse than Her Bite" (wherein Amy makes armor and weapons for herself out of trees and discovers how therapeutic hitting bad guys can be) and "Amy Goes Full Nilbog" (where Amy starts messing around with fungi). But 'getting over herself' is a pretty tall order for Amy, IMO, and one that would require some pretty significant work on her part, or a circumstance that forces it or something like that.

So, ultimately, I don't really agree that Amy being able to do plants presents any issue for Amy's state of mind, personally.

 

[Groffin]

desperate to do anything new with her power

Click to shrink...

Cite a single instance of Amy in any way expressing the slightest desire to "branch out" with her powers.

Hell, cite a single instance of her enjoying it when outside forces twist her arm into "doing anything new" with her power at all.

Amy doesn't hate being a healer; she hates being a Cape at all. Healing is in actuality the only use of her power she is to any degree comfortable with, which is why she keeps voluntarily returning to drudge-work at the hospital or doing maintenance/oversight for a Wet Tinker as opposed to experimenting or producing weird shit herself time and time again, because not using her Power isn't a feasible option but she demonstrably has neither the inclination or aptitude to do anything esoteric of her own volition.

 

[Kylia Quilor]

Hell, cite a single instance of her enjoying it when outside forces twist her arm into "doing anything new" with her power at all.

Click to shrink...

My Ward reading friends have mentioned something about her experiencing like, a strange exhilaration when she was making the Giants, or something to that effect. Though Ward is only as canon to this fic as I want it, and that's at a much later point in her development anyway.

 

[Groffin]

her experiencing like, a strange exhilaration when she was making the Giants

Click to shrink...

That's out of interlude From Within-16.z and literally a split second after registering that sense of elation Amy had a crashout in front of a mirror accusing her shard of fucking with her emotional responses.

 

[Kylia Quilor]

That's out of interlude From Within-16.z and literally a split second after registering that sense of elation Amy had a crashout in front of a mirror accusing her shard of fucking with her emotional responses.

Click to shrink...

I mean, that's already a given, that Shaper is playing some role in how unpleasant she finds healing. It's just a question of extent and degree

 

[Kylia Quilor]

Author's Note: People familiar with Dragon Age will find that this chapter may drag a bit. It is a lot infodumping and explanations about things that Amy does not know but anyone who has played Inquisition (or even just the first two games) would know, or otherwise find familiar. Hopefully this will be engaging enough to read anyway, but best to warn up front.

As I said, I am always willing to hear out and take into account good-faith critique about my characterization of various people, Amy and otherwise. Some characters are harder for me to get right than others, and I do my best to do so, but obviously, sometimes I may get it wrong.

---

What kind of mess did I land in the middle of?

"You managed to land in one of the more... eventful times in the recent history of Thedas," Leliana said, and began ticking off details and names that Amy didn't know the meaning of, beyond loosely grasping what a mage and templar were. "The Fifth Blight ended ten years ago and the after effects are still reverberating throughout Ferelden, and indeed, all of Thedas. Kirkwall was a slowly boiling pot that exploded four years ago, the mages and templars began their war shortly after that, Orlais broke out into civil war last year, and... well, the Conclave just blew up, taking the one person who had a chance at convincing people to stand down peacefully." Leliana set her jaw a little as she said that last part, though her otherwise calm expression and careful tone were hard to read.

"None of that means anything to me, though that's the third time Kirkwall has been mentioned since I showed up here." Amy pointed out. She looked at the map, and found Kirkwall marked on it. It was coastal, in the 'Free Marches' part of the map, but that really didn't tell her much. "I don't understand any of this. I barely believe that what I saw Solas doing was magic or those things we fought were demons." Solas didn't have powers and... while the demons could still be projections...

She was a lot less convinced that had to be the case than she had been before she grasped that mages weren't just capes by another name.

"I'm somewhat confused by that," Josephine said carefully. "I know little of the world beyond Thedas, no one really does, but shouldn't magic and the Fade and demons be a fact of life as well?"

"I'm not from a different continent. I'm from a different world entirely! Where I come from, there's no magic. No demons. No elves or dwarves or dragons. Those are all just fairy tales." She blinked, then, "Fuck, wait are there fairies here too? Ghosts and goblins and god knows what the fuck else?"

"Fairies don't exist, though some ancient traditions confused spirits and demons for them, according to Seeker texts," Cassandra said. "Goblins... I do not believe I've ever heard the term."

"Little gross creatures, sometimes green, usually like, 3 feet tall?" Granted, there were a lot of versions of goblins out there, in fiction that she'd read, but this was a pretty common version, with variations. None of the others said anything.

"Well, okay, at least there's some line. But I'm gonna have to deal with dead people hanging around?"

"Ghosts are not the souls of the departed. All pass into the hands of the Maker to be judged after death. What people call 'ghosts' are just demons and spirits, caught in their echoes in the Fade," Cullen said quickly.

"...Okay." Amy stared at him, blinking. That was... how much of that was religion? Fuck, for all she knew the 'Maker' was a real thing too, and not just religion. She'd read stories where gods were real, after all.

"There is only this world, the one the Maker forged." Cullen said, surprisingly calm for a fanatic relying on his religion to explain the world. "Leliana said you told her this before, in-" he paused.

"In the cell you were holding me in?" Cullen nodded.

"But," the Commander went on, "That - that should be impossible."

"Nothing is beyond the Maker's sight. The Chant of Light was inspired by the Maker, but it was penned by mortal hands," Leliana explained. "I don't entirely grasp what it means for her to be from another world, but I do not believe she is lying."

"I'm not lying!" Amy had to resist the urge to shout, and of course, everyone here was a believer in this religion and she still had no idea how real it was. The idea of this 'Maker' being real was absurd, but so was everything else she'd had to deal with since she'd woken up in that cell.

I'm not going to ask them though. Wouldn't really get her a real answer. If he was real, they'd say he was. If he wasn't, they'd also say he was.

And would they even know? Not like anyone could know God existed. Wasn't that the whole point? Sounded right, from sermons she'd gotten from stupid people at hospitals that tried to convince her her powers were a gift from 'the Lord'.

"I'm not from here. I don't know anything you guys would know, and on my world, we know the whole world. All seven continents and four oceans... and seven seas." Okay, she knew it was more than seven seas, but she had no idea how many there actually were, so she'd just say that. Wasn't like this was a geography test. "And we're not... we have electricity and the internet and cars and helicopters and guns and a billion things you don't have here. Wherever this is, this isn't Earth-Bet."

"That is what you call the place you come from?"

"I come from Brockton Bay, in the United States, but that's on Earth-Bet, yeah." Amy answered Leliana's question. She furrowed her brow, then, "Look, I barely paid attention when they talked about in my classes, but - multiple worlds were a theory for like... years? Decades? Something something physics." She realized how stupid she sounded, and tried to search her mind for an analogy, maybe something she'd read or seen in a TV show, or...

"It was all just a theory, no one proved it until like... a decade ago? Two?" Amy pulled a hand down her face, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I don't remember how long. But this Tinker, Professor Haywire, he opened a portal to another Earth, which we call Earth-Aleph. And then no others, but... Earth Aleph is also not all... swords and bows and...medieval stuff."

"Every word you speak only produces more questions," Cassandra said, setting her hands on the table and leaning forward.

"Join the fucking club!" Amy rolled her eyes. "I'm seventeen, and I - I didn't -" she flushed a moment, then looked down at the ground. "Look, I'm not smart like my sister, and I didn't bother to pay much attention in school the last few years so - there's just things I don't know how to explain, okay?"

"The same sister that you say knows how to fight?" Cassandra asked, and Amy nodded.

"Vicky - Victoria." Amy nodded, blinking repeatedly. "She's - she's - she's a hero. She can fly and break people into a pulp and she's smart. Studies powers and aces all her classes and..." Amy closed her eyes, inhaling, covering her face again, trying to hold back any tears. "She'd - she'd know how to handle all this... though she might also have just broken the chains and broken all your arms before anyone could explain the situation to her." Cassandra looked skeptical, and Amy laughed, "You know how I can heal without magic? My sister can break through stone walls unharmed just by punching them, or flying at them fast."

"Your sister can fly?" Cullen shook his head. "And you - Cassandra said you can heal without magic, but how is that possible?" He looked to Cassandra, "I know you'd be able to feel magic's presence, especially being used to heal you, but I don't - how is it possible?"

"Well, it's not a blessing from some divine being, so don't even start with that," Amy cut in before anyone could say anything else. "Nobody fucking knows how powers work, not really. They just... do. Vicky could give you a better answer, but..." Amy swallowed and trailed off. She inhaled, closing her hands into fists, opened them again, trying to remember her sister's talks and explanations and things she'd learned and heard and picked up....

"Thirty years or almost, they just... started cropping up. People able to do all kinds of insane things. There's a hero, named Legend. He can fly and shoot beams from his hands that can do all kinds of stuff. Velocity - he can run fast, like, faster than a car, sometimes." She blinked, remembering that would mean nothing to them. "Or - like... I mean, I haven't seen it, but he can definitely run faster than a horse can gallop."

Aunt Sarah had dragged all four of them - her, Victoria, Crystal and Eric - to enough horseback riding stuff during the summer when they were all younger for Amy to have a vague idea of how fast horses could go, and Velocity was like... sixty miles an hour, right?"

"There's an absolute bastard of a guy called Hookwolf, back home. He can turn into a wolf made of knives and hooks and sharp pointy bits. I've seen the effects of what he can do to people. I've healed the damage he's done to people. I mean... you guys can imagine what a wolf made of knives can do to some random civilian, right?"

Josephine looked away for a moment, and Amy thought it looked like she was maybe nauseated for a moment, while Cullen and Cassandra had their jaws set grimly, and Leliana's expression remained unreadable.

"Powers can do... all kinds of stuff. Mine let me heal. Anything. Cancer, if someone has a missing arm I can regrow it, any kind of disease... as long as they're alive I can keep them alive."

"And give them cancer." Leliana observed, and Amy bit her lip.

"I wouldn't actually do that. I don't -" Amy started, then, "Cancer is just cells going crazy and multiplying out of control. I can do that."

"You also threatened to render all the guards impotent." Cassandra added.

"I can -" Amy let out a breath. "I heal. Okay. That's what I do with my power. If you had someone with a missing arm or leg, I could prove that to you, if you wanted. As long as there's enough body mass to spare."

"Body mass to spare?"

"I don't know how magic does it, but when I heal someone... I have to take the material from somewhere. Usually excess fat or turn a little of their blood into bone cells to mend a broken bone or - in serious cases I can use muscle, - that's why I said that... scout I healed back in those tunnels needed to eat after I was done with him."

"...he was quite ravenously hungry that night," Leliana mused. "More so than one might be after a fight, usually." She sounded satisfied to have an answer to that, if Amy was even remotely gauging the woman right, which she probably wasn't. "But that doesn't exactly answer the question of what else you can do, and how you're able to do it."

"I just told you I don't know how powers work! They just... happen!"

"Were you born with this ability?" Cullen asked. "Mages are born with their abilities, though it may take time for their powers to manifest properly, and longer for them to be able to use them safely... assuming they aren't possessed first."

"Demons can do that too? Fuck, this is just a fun world you people live in."

Nazis and Slaughterhouse Nine and Endbringers running around rampant, or demons, possession and giant fucking holes in the sky. Why couldn't I have landed on some nice, peaceful world where no one had anything worse than a fucking skinned knee?

"The threat of mages giving into a demon, allowing them to possess them and becoming an abomination is one of the primary reasons the Templars exist." Cullen said. "Or... it was supposed to be." He added.

"Fun." Amy repeated. Then she shook her head, "No, I wasn't - I wasn't born with my power. I-" She licked her lips, looking down at the ground. "And like I said, it wasn't a blessing. I get enough of that shit from people back home telling me God or Jesus or whoever the fuck else they worship saying my powers are a divine gift."

She inhaled, exhaled. "We call people with powers 'parahumans'. Maybe... one in seven or eight or nine thousand people is one? I think? I don't really remember."

"Because you didn't pay attention in your schooling," Cassandra crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I'm seventeen! And I spend more time healing people at hospitals than I do sleeping, so yes, I don't pay much attention in my classes, okay? I get enough shit about it from Carol - my - mother - about that." she added, realizing they'd have no idea who Carol was.

Of course, she wasn't actually Carol's daughter, and Carol never let her forget it, even if she never said it to her face, but... Amy closed her eyes and inhaled.

"Parahumans get their powers after what people call a trigger event. Trigger events are..." Once more, Amy closed her eyes, inhaled, and stepped back, leaning her back against the stone wall behind her. "They're... traumatic events. My - Carol and my Aunt Sarah triggered when the people kidnapping them tried to kill them. My cousin Crystal when... a gang of people tried to..." she swallowed. "Tried to kill her, or worse." She didn't exactly know that many trigger events, and - she wasn't going to talk about Victoria's... that was...

People still thought she just triggered from that foul ball... because she kept saying that in interviews.

Amy knew better. Victoria knew better.

"And you?"

Sure, ask about the worst fucking moment of my life, why don't you?! Amy inhaled, then inhaled again, feeling her breathing faster, shallower, that fucking day flashing in her mind - she had it in her nightmares too much. She'd wish too hard that she didn't have powers, that she'd never triggered, and then she'd remember Victoria, and lying there on the floor in that mall, so much blood... so much blood...

"Leliana," Cassandra's voice cut in. "I don't think we need to know."

"We need to know who we're dealing with and how her abilities work." Leliana countered. "How many times have we encountered mages turning to blood magic or becoming abominations only in desperate moments? She is our only hope for closing the Breach, but we know nothing about her.

"I think it's quite clear she'd rather not discuss this, Leliana," Josephine added. "Perhaps later-"

"My sister was dying in front of me! Bleeding out and if I hadn't triggered and hadn't been able to get the bullet out of her and heal her then she'd have died! I triggered with the ability to heal and to - to manipulate the biology of what I touch while covered in my sister's blood!" Amy shouted, only realizing what she'd done as the words left her lips. She closed her eyes, unable to hold back tears now - she wasn't sobbing, not yet, but even after her breakdown after waking up, she still had tears left in her and -

She was sitting on the floor now, knees pressed up against her chest, shallow breaths, tears still springing from her eyes. It wasn't just remembering that day, or the nightmares on if she hadn't triggered, or hadn't been there or triggered with a different power (on those days when she wished that if she had to have a power, couldn't she have had a different one) or -

She wasn't going to see Victoria again, no matter how much she tried to get home. No powers. No tinkers. No -

She could hear the others talking, maybe there was an argument, but she just stayed there for a moment, not registering anything for a moment, trying to hold herself back from sobbing - a tiny part of her felt mortified she was doing this in front of them, but she couldn't help it.

What else was she supposed to do? The most important person in her life... out of reach. The rest of her family. Everyone she knew. Everything on Earth-Bet. Books and music and TV and cars and electricity and comfortable beds and coffee and -

And here she was and -

She blinked, looking up as she noticed Cassandra standing next to her, and the woman extended a hand and Amy reached out, taking it and standing up, back pressed up against the wall again for support.

"Are you fit to continue speaking? Not - not about how you got your powers," Cassandra quickly added.

Amy swallowed, "I'm suffering a caffeine headache because I haven't had my morning coffee, and I'm cut off from everyone and everything I ever knew, and I'm still grappling with that fact and I just..." she trailed off. "But yeah, I'm as ready as I can be."

"Coffee is quite a useful drink to wake up with," Josephine said softly. "When we are done here, I believe I can spare some of mine for you, Amy."

Amy blinked. "You have coffee? Oh thank God," Amy said that last part in a quieter tone. "Please, yes, god, thank you."

"It is a common drink in my homeland of Antiva. Less so this far south, especially... here, in Haven. I am the only one here with a taste for it. Or I was, anyway." Josephine explained. "I only brought enough for myself, but under the circumstances-"

"I'll take anything you're willing to share," Amy said quickly. She tried to take another breath, forcing herself to go slower, trying to get a little more calm. It was absurd, she was in tears a minute ago and now she was begging for coffee and trying to focus on this stupid meeting. Bouncing between breaking down and trying to focus on the problems in front of her.

People's lives still depended on her. Differently, maybe - though there were probably people to heal here in Haven too, with medieval hygiene and shit - but... she had to stay focused on that.

"I think at this point... many of the questions about your powers and... the para-humans of your world," Leliana didn't exactly stumble over the unfamiliar word, but she did say it slowly, "and indeed, questions about your world in general can wait. You do not believe the Maker sent you do us in our hour of need."

"No, I don't."

"So then how do you think you came to be here?"

"One of Bakuda's bombs went off, and then I woke up in the cell." Amy explained, letting out a long, exasperated breath. "Her shit can do all kinds of stuff, so I suppose one of them sent me here." Or she could be dead and this was hell, but Amy was pretty sure hell would be more painful than annoying. And right now, she wasn't in much pain from this stupid thing on her hand. "I have no fucking memory of what happened after I got here, or how I stumbled upon... whoever it was that was with the Divine, in that... echo we saw."

"Unfortunate, though I suppose you wouldn't have recognized him even if you did remember his face," Leliana observed. "I have questions about this... Bakuda, you mentioned her in your cell, but perhaps it is time to proceed to answering your questions."

"Great idea," Amy agreed. She licked her lips, realizing she was thirsty. She looked around and saw a metal pitcher and wooden cups over on a small table in the back of the room. "Please tell me that's water and not alcohol."

"It is water," Cassandra confirmed, and Amy walked around the main table to the pitcher, pouring herself a glass - cup - of water.

"Before we move on to explaining... well, everything, to you, I do have a few more questions about you," Josephine said. Amy swallowed the mouthful of water she already had as Josephine went on quickly: "Not about your ability to heal, though I'm not sure we'll be able to convince most people who hear of it that it is not a gift from the Maker, but about you."

Of course we won't. Some people back on Earth-Bet still thought powers were from God. Also some that thought Scion was God. Or that powers were from aliens or demons or fuck if she knew whatever other insane theories existed.

And here? She could explain Corona Pollentia and Corona Gemma forever and get nowhere.

"Why do you need to know about me?"

"Because you are the Herald of Andraste." Josephine held up a hand, once again tacking on more: "You do not claim to be, but the idea has spread throughout those here in Haven, and is already spreading beyond. People will believe it. And, as the only person who can close the rifts and the Breach, you are the most important person in this entire effort. People will have questions about who you are, where you come from... we can tell the truth, that you are from far beyond Thedas and your abilities are not magic, but that will not be all people want to know."

"And," Josephine added as Amy inhaled slowly, closing her eyes as she realized the implications of what Josephine was saying, "the Inquisition lacks the manpower or resources to deal with the problem before us. We must recruit, we must make contact with nobles and other people and groups that can provide us with assistance."

"And that means making your 'Herald' who can heal with a touch part of your PR campaign." Amy said softly. "Fuck." She hated New Wave PR events, hated when reporters or interviewers tried to ask her questions... it happened less these days, enough times where she'd given people nothing to work with, one-word answers, or ignored them and she just wasn't photogenic like the rest of her family, so... she'd been able to avoid them.

"P....R?"

"Public Relations. You know, spreading a specific message about you or your organization. My family did it all the time." Amy looked down, "I hate it."

Josephine made a small 'hm' noise, "An elegant way to put it. But yes - we are out on our own, without Chantry support, and as it stands, neither Ferelden, nor Orlais support us, let alone anyone else."

Those two countries on either side of the mountains they were in.

"Alistair is a friend. He will support us." Leliana said firmly.

"King Alistair is not free to simply do whatever he wishes," Josephine cautioned. "You know as well as I that he depends on the support of the Bannorn, and his friendliness to the mages during this war has cost him much support."

"Ferelden is still recovering from the Fifth Blight, there's only so much support they can provide even if their King does back us fully," Cassandra cut in.

"The point being, Amy, that people are more likely to support us if they know why we believe we have a chance to fix this... and know more about who that chance is." Josephine forced them back on topic. "Your surname is Dallon, and you just said your family has experience with 'public relations'. Is your family noble? Do people with abilities like yours govern, the way magisters govern in Tevinter?"

"We don't have nobles where I'm from, and no, people with powers don't run the show." Some people thought they should, cape supremacists - groups like the Elite... "My family are heroes. We all have powers - my Aunt, my Uncle, my cousins, my parents, my sister, me."

"What exactly makes them heroes? You said you spent more time at hospitals than sleeping. I can see why people would consider such selfless work to heal others heroic-"

Amy wasn't sure if she actually spent more time healing than sleeping, but given how little she actually slept some nights, and all the times she went out at night to hospitals, and especially during crises like Bakuda's rampage...

It had to be close, sometimes, if nothing else.

"I'm not a hero. My family is, I'm not." Amy interrupted. "My family are heroes because they use their powers to fight criminals, and villains. Like Hookwolf, and the entire gang of Nazi shitheads that he's part of. Or the ABB."

"Your family works to protect the innocent people of your home from criminals and murderers?"

"Yeah. It's a team, New Wave." Amy nodded. "My Aunt Sarah is the leader."

Josephine wrote something down on her clipboard with her quill, then dipped it into ink again.

"A healer in a family that fights criminals... what sort of crimes do these criminals commit?"

"All of them?" She wracked her mind, "Empire 88 beats up people over their skin color, smuggles guns and drugs, forces people to pay protection, steals from people who don't... they terrorize the city. The ABB does the same, and they force girls to work in their brothels." The part about kidnaping girls off the street to work in their brothels or whatever was a rumor, and probably not true - Victoria thought it was one E88 spread because it played on racist tropes about threats to 'good, decent white girls' - but they did force the girls working for them to stay, beat them and addicted them to drugs and took most of their money...

She'd had to treat girls who were rescued from their brothels before, flush their systems of drugs, and mend poorly healed broken bones and bruises and sometimes worse.

"In the old days, they fought gangs like the Teeth, who just... fucking murdered people because they could."

"Worthy opponents, certainly," Josephine nodded. "A healer, child of heroes, sister to a hero, and willing to do what must be done to close the Breach... I believe that can be worked with." She set wrote some more, then set her quill down again. "I may have more questions at a later time, but there are matters to attend to."

"Quite," Cassandra said, crossing her arms in front of her. "There is much that will need to be explained to you."

"I'm not entirely sure where to begin summarizing this situation. Do we start with Kirkwall, the dissolution of the Nevarran Accords, do we go all the way back to the Tevinter Imperium?" Cullen began, "You don't even know what the Fade is,"

"Something about it being where demons are from."

"The Fade is the realm of spirits and demons, the Maker's first children. It is where people go in their dreams, and it is also the source of magic." Leliana explained. "Mages channel the energy of the Fade to make reality as... mutable as dreams can be, in essence." Cassandra and Cullen both looked at her, and Leliana shrugged, "I learned a great deal when travelling with the Hero of Ferelden during the Fifth Blight," she explained.

Okay. That... makes as much sense as 'magic' does anyway. "Magic comes from the Fade, mages draw on it... and demons are from the Fade and can possess mages. There's a connection there." Amy wasn't a complete idiot, she could add two and two together and get four...

Sometimes.

"Demons are jealous of mortals and of our material world," Cassandra explained. "Mages are the vehicle by which they can have means to interact with it, either by possession, or being summoned... and now these rifts, and the Breach. They will try to trick or convince a mage to make deals with them, or try to overpower their will until they accept possession. Once that happens, they become abominations - a single abomination has the ability to destroy an entire village. It is to protect people - mage and non-mage alike, that the Templar Order was created."

"And then it failed, utterly." Leliana countered. "Kirkwall was merely the worst case, but abuses against mages at the hands of Templars could be seen in every Circle. The rebellion was sparked by what happened in Kirkwall, but-"

"There were abuses in Kirkwall, and Meredith was insane, but the city was crawling with blood mages and abominations," Cullen interrupted. "I - I do not deny that things happened outside of it, but the alternatives are worse."

"Alternatives are not the problem right now. The Circles do not exist, and the Templars as a whole have broken from the Chantry." Cassandra raised her voice just a little. "We must focus on the Breach first." She set her jaw, "The Seekers' role in monitoring the Templars failed."

"I still have no idea what you're talking about. Why does Kirkwall keep coming up, and who is Meredith, and since I remember both came up when Varric saw that red stuff... what the fuck is that?" Amy demanded. "I have so many questions, I don't even know where to start!"

She looked down at the map, "I - okay, let's start with the basics: Everyone's calling me the Herald of Andraste. Who the fuck is Andraste? Kateria mentioned someone called Hessarian burning her to death, and her ashes were at the temple that blew up?"

"The Temple of Sacred Ashes is where Andraste's surviving companions took her remains, yes." Leliana said. "It was lost to most of the world until it was rediscovered ten years ago, and its sacredness made it seemingly the perfect neutral ground to host the Conclave. Even the mage rebels still follow the Chant of Light, or most of them, anyway. Divine Justina was respected by enough figures on both sides, though neither Grand Enchanter Fiona or Lord Seeker Lucius came personally."

"...the leaders of both sides of a war don't show up to a peace conference that blows up, and you don't assume one of them was behind it?" Amy blinked. "You blame me instead?!"

"Either of them certainly could be involved, but at the time, we had no way of knowing if you were working for one of them or their agents... whoever it was that intended to use the Divine as some sort of sacrifice may still have had allies in either camp." Leliana said.

"Or both." Cassandra offered. "Treacherous Templars have worked with blood mages to strike at the Divine before."

"Back on topic!" Amy insisted, "Who is Andraste?!"

"The Bride of the Maker, who led the first Exalted March and broke the power of the Tevinter Imperium," Josephine answered.

"The Bride of the Maker. And the Maker is... the one you all worship. Created the world and all that?"

"Yes."

Okay. So Andraste was a big deal. "Okay, so everyone worships the Maker and... honors Andraste?"

"The Dwarves in Orzammar keep to their own faith in the Stone, and the Dalish Elves follow their own gods, but otherwise, yes. Even the Tevinter follow the Maker, though they have their own version of the Chantry." Josephine explained, "And their own Divine."

Great. Amy's knowledge of European History could probably fit on the back of a postcard, but she knew religious war over who was Pope or if the Pope mattered had been a thing once.

"Not to mention all the slavery, blood magic and letting magisters run the show."

"Slavery? You have slavery here?!" Amy recoiled just at the thought.

"Only in Tevinter. It is illegal elsewhere."

"Good." Amy said firmly. Then she sagged a little, "Okay, can you... can I get like, a really quick history lesson? Tevinter was overthrown, but still exists, Andraste died, but... what, went to the Maker's side?" The others nodded. "And... there's Circles and Templars and the Chantry..." It sounded like their Bible was the Chant of Light from what they said, and the Chantry was the church...

"I'm still so fucking confused."

The other four looked at each other for a moment then finally Leliana spoke:

"In the Ancient Age, the Tevinter Imperium ruled all of Thedas, more or less. They had destroyed the elven realm of Arlathan and enslaved the survivors, and built their empire on the backs of their slaves, and on blood magic and pacts with demons. They worshipped the Old Gods, powerful demons that masqueraded as divine."

"Tevinter bad and evil. Got it." Amy nodded. Since they apparently had slaves, and still did, that seemed about right to her. Also, she just... anything called 'Blood Magic' couldn't be good, right?

"Eventually, seven Tevinter Magisters, the highest of priests of the Old Gods, sought to enter the Fade by means of mass blood sacrifice, and at the behest of the Old Gods, claim the throne of the Maker in the Golden City. Instead, they corrupted it with their sin, creating the first Darkspawn, and turning the Old Gods into the Archdemons that lead them during each Blight." Leliana explained.

"...Okay, that's..." Amy blinked. It sounded very... over the top. Like Garden of Eden type shit. But again. Magic. Demons. She could imagine that being the plot of a fantasy novel and she was fucking living in one. "That's... a thing that happened, apparently. And Darkspawn are?"

"Creatures of pure evil and destruction." Cassandra answered. "They are nearly mindless on their own, though in larger groups, they show... rudimentary grasp of tactics."

"And during a Blight, far more than that, under the leadership of an Archdemon." Leliana added. "Their blood is corrupted, and Darkspawn will spread a terrible taint to the land around them, and those they fight. If tainted, death will follow soon, for there is no cure, unless one becomes a Grey Warden. And even that only delays the process."

File in another term I don't understand. "Okay. I..." She found herself wondering what this taint was, how it worked... she'd never met a disease she couldn't cure, and 'no cure' could just mean they didn't understand medicine enough.

"Magic can't cure the taint?" Magic being a healing thing here meant there was less... on Earth-Bet, she was the only chance for a lot of people, or at least the best chance. With healing magic... that wasn't as true. Which... was good. Less people that only she could help...

"No. Magic's ability to heal is limited by the skill of the mage, their power, and how much energy they have to draw on." Cassandra answered. "In the hands of the skilled and powerful, or with more power to hand, it can regrow limbs, or even heal most illnesses, but there are things beyond even the skills of the greatest of healers."

"The First Blight nearly destroyed the Tevinter Imperium, and it turned many away from the Old Gods, as they ceased answering prayers." Josephine said, setting her clipboard down as she kept going. "The Tevinter were forced to focus on defending their core territories, in the north, leaving much of the world to their own. It was the Grey Wardens who devised the means of permanently killing the Archdemon, which made defeating the now leaderless darkspawn far easier,"

"And there's been four more Blights since then? Including the one that hit Ferelden ten years ago?"

"Yes. The Hero of Ferelden managed to end the Blight in less than a year - the First Blight took nearly two centuries, and even the fourth lasted for twelve years." Leliana answered.

"Wow." That sounded impressive, but Amy honestly didn't know enough to say how much. So she just went with 'wow'.

"With the Tevinter weakened, and the faith in the Old Gods broken, Andraste was called by the Maker to lead an Exalted March against them. She was the wife of Maferath, a powerful warlord in what is now Ferelden, and she urged him on this holy cause. Blessed by the Maker, and she rallied many, including rebelling elven slaves, to her cause. Unfortunately, Maferath grew jealous of Andraste's relationship to the Maker, and betrayed her to the Tevinter in exchange for being allowed to keep the territory he conquered."

"Which is when this Hessarian burned her to death?"

Okay, so she's the Bride of the Maker, but also married to this Maferath guy. Who betrayed her. When did the marrying the Maker thing happen? Amy figured she had to be getting some sort of... like, biased version of events? History was big and complicated and this all sounded very simple. Very 'and the evil Romans just crucified Jesus because they were evil'

Or whatever the fuck they taught in Sunday school and on those bible cartoons she'd always skipped past as a kid.

"He was the Archon, leader of Tevinter at the time." Leliana went on, nodding to answer Amy's question. "He was moved by her faith, and it is said that the Maker spoke to him through her. He granted her mercy by killing her rather than allow her to continue to suffer the slow death in the flames. It was after this that he would eventually convert to the following of the Maker, and lead Tevinter to turn away from the Old Gods. This sparked a civil war, and he revealed Maferath's betrayal, causing his realm to crumble."

"And this is when the old Inquisition was a thing?" Amy asked, recalling Cassandra's earlier comment, and Cassandra nodded.

"They were those who rose up to do what needed to be done, to protect the people from those who might use magic to rule others, but also to protect mages who had done no harm, protect the innocent in the time of a world gone mad." Cassandra said. "Just as is the case now. The Inquisition of old worked with the Chantry and Kordilus Drakon to combat the Second Blight, proving that magic and mages could still be used for good, to serve man, not just to rule him. So the Nevarran Accord was signed, creating the Circles, Templars and Seekers, as they exist... existed." She let out a breath. "I can admit that there were... flaws in the execution."

There's a rebellion about it, so yeah, sounds like it. But Amy didn't know enough about magic or mages or Templars to -

"And this rebellion? Why? Why are mages rebelling? And Templars? What are they rebelling against? Both sides of this civil war are also fighting... who else exactly?"

"There are many things that led to the rebellion," Leliana explained. "The Circles were supposed to serve as a place where mages could learn to control their powers, and be kept safe from those who would hate them for what they are. Instead, they became prisons."

"Mages are dangerous, even the most well-intentioned can fall prey to possession, and if one gets it into their head to do worse-" Cullen started, then cut himself off, seemingly forcing himself to take a breath. He looked over to Amy. "The role of Templars to protect mages was forgotten by most. Too many of them, of us... we did come to see mages, all mages, as the enemy. Many mages chafed at the circles, and many tried to run or did. Some because they wished to practice blood magic, or otherwise abuse their powers."

"And others merely because they wanted some freedom to live their lives," Leliana interrupted, raising her voice a little to speak over Cullen.

Imprisoning people for what they might do, rather than what they can do. Amy swallowed, throat feeling tight. If people back home knew what she could really do, the full breadth of it, would they want to do that to her? If they realized the sort of damage she could do? Amy had never wanted powers but at first she'd told herself that at least she'd been able to save her sister, and her power didn't mean she had to fight, that it could just let her help people. If she had to have powers, better than the alternatives?

"All too many apostates free of the circles turn to abusing their powers. There is a place for the Circles," Cullen insisted. "Rebellion and plunging all of Thedas into war as a result was not the way."

And then she'd realized just what she could do. To brains. To... anything. If she wanted to, she could make plagues more horrifying than anything. Her power wasn't healing, no matter how much she insisted...

But that's what I use it for. Amy told herself. Whatever else, whoever else she might - whoever...

I'm not a hero. But I - I use my powers to help people. The idea of being thrown into a cell just because of what she could do, of people, her family, Carol - Vicky - finding out and -

It was one of her worst nightmares. Only on the worst days.

"We aren't here to rehash the same arguments over and over again," Josephine said in a calm, level tone, pre-empting the others. She turned back to Amy, "There are already a dozen books attempting to discuss just what led to the rebellion, tracing it back through the centuries. Trying to summarize a conflict like this when you know so little of the context is pointless."

"I'm stuck living right in the middle of it." Amy countered. "I - I don't like the idea of people being imprisoned just because of what they might do." If they were afraid of someone getting possessed...

I suppose I should be glad these people probably have no fucking idea about germ theory or microbacteria or...

Amy closed her eyes, breathed, opened them again, hands clenched tight, fingernails digging into the base of her palms.

"Circles are not supposed to be prisons," Cassandra said. "But they failed in that purpose."

"And Kirkwall figures into this?" The city kept coming up. "How?"

"How much Kirkwall truly matters is... complicated. It became a symbol, regardless." Cassandra explained. "Knight-Commander Meredith was the leader of the Templars in the city, and she was always strict on the mages under her authority."

"Given how often blood mages and abominations showed up in the city, some strictness was justified," Cullen said, just above a mutter, but then he shook his head, raising his voice. "But she did take it too far, eventually. When the Qunari killed the Viscount, she decided she should rule the city to protect it from blood mages, and turned the city upside down trying to root them out, punishing mages severely for the smallest infractions, or even imagined ones, by the end."

"There had been a movement, sneaking mages out of the Gallows, getting apostates out of the city, working against Templars." Cullen said, then paused and elaborated: "The Gallows were an old Tevinter fortress repurposed to house both Templars and Mages, "Meredith was able to eliminate them within a matter of months, but she continued to see enemies everywhere. And then matters came to a head four years ago."

Okay, so paranoia, oppression... Amy let them keep talking. At this point, trying to figure out what she thought of all this was...

"The Seekers were investigating the matter, but... too many of us believed that perhaps she was right, and actually going to Kirkwall to see for themselves was delayed. Lord Seeker Lambert may not have gone as far as Knight-Commander Meredith, but he agreed with her more than he didn't," Cassandra admitted.

It was more than Amy could really deal with right now. She wanted to just shut her brain down and not have to think about anything, process it. She pressed her fingers into her head just above her eyes, covering her face, speaking through her hands for a moment, "This is a lot that I need to wrap my head around, so can you - how did things come to a head?"

"An apostate, Anders, used magic to destroy the Chantry in the city, killing the Grand Cleric and hundreds of people in the resulting explosion." Cassandra said bluntly.

"Fuck." Yeah. Explosion that killed lots of people would set people off. Something about Earth-Aleph fingered at the back of her memory. Members of some religious group killing a lot of people in an attack and - every member of the group getting blamed by a lot of people?

It came up in a class once, or something, but Amy had no memory of details.

"Meredith's response was that this was proof that all mages in the city were corrupted beyond recovery and that they must all be killed, that there was no other solution."

"The Fuck?" Amy glared at Cullen. "She wanted to just... kill everyone?!"

"Meredith was mad. None of us realized it until it was nearly too late, but she had been getting worse for years." Cullen shook his head. "There are excuses, but..."

"Had the Champion of Kirkwall not stood to rally any willing to fight in defense of the mages in the Circle, the innocent - children, the infirm, the elderly - then Meredith may have been able to cover it up." Leliana said quietly. "But Kiandra Hawke did, and she was able to allow enough mages to escape to spread word of what happened."

"And that's what started the rebellion? Then why did Templars rebel? This is fucking insane!" Amy let out a ragged breath.

"The Templars rebelled because Divine Justinia did not support them cracking down on the mages as they discussed the prospect of rebellion. She became Divine seven years ago, and tried to reform the Circles, but she faced much resistance from within the Chantry. After Kirkwall, the leadership of the Circle voted down breaking the Nevarran Accord at first, but Lord Seeker Lambert's actions made matters worse in the aftermath, and when the Divine tried to restrain him..."

"Templars were told for years, centuries, that they were the trusty right arm of the Chantry, the only thing protecting the world from mages gone amok, and then they were addicted to lyrium at the behest of the Chantry to make them better warriors and better at suppressing magic. Not to mention when sometimes Grand Clerics would withhold lyrium to reign certain groups of Templars in." Cullen interrupted Cassandra. "For centuries, they were left to risk their lives against blood mages, abominations, demons, protected the Chantry from threats..."

He shook his head and let out a sigh, "Too many felt ill-used, abandoned and disregarded by the Chantry for all they sacrificed, and Divine Justinia trying to reign them in was the last straw for too many."

Amy wasn't sure what to think about that, it was all too much, and she felt... she was kind of numb to the tide of information still washing over her. She would have to think about it and -

The Templars were still sort of like the PRT - people who regulated the powered people, even if mages weren't parahumans. But they were a lot more than that, and they were... what, pissy they weren't being appreciated for it? And to rebel over that? Compared to mages who were upset about a bunch of innocent people being murdered for one person's actions?"

"I don't agree with those of my fellows who rebelled, but I understand their frustrations," Cullen concluded.

Then Amy's mind picked up on something Cullen said. 'Addicted to lyrium'.

"Wait, wait, you - you purposefully were addicted to a thing? Like, on orders? Not because you just decided to do drugs? And - lyrium? Like the stuff Varric was worked up about at the temple?"

"Red Lyrium is different from normal lyrium, and appears to be much more dangerous." Cassandra explained. "There is much we don't know, can't know, but one of the things that drove Meredith to her insanity was prolonged contact with red lyrium."

"And normal lyrium is just totally safe, but also addictive?" Amy shook her head, "There's almost nothing in the world that's both addictive and safe, I can't imagine that's different here." Even caffeine had risks, they just were situational or required massive amounts of it and Amy also didn't care about those risks.

"No, it's not safe." Cullen said curtly. "In small amounts, such as used by mages to replenish their magical energies, yes. In the amounts and frequencies used by Templars, no. Losing your memories are the least of the problems that can emerge after long enough use. And we're never told the full extent of that danger before becoming Templars, taking our oaths and taking the first doses." He set his jaw grimly,

"Why the fuck do you use it then? Some sort of initiation hazing bullshit?" Drug addicts were just people too obsessed with their own bullshit, or too selfish, or just couldn't restrain themselves to just... not get addicted in the first place. To not actually shoot up with heroin or snort cocaine or whatever else. But if you were a soldier and your superiors told you to take the drug, that was different. Still fucking stupid, but.

"Lyrium is the source of our ability to suppress magic. Taking as much of it as the Chantry requires makes it stronger, but some lyrium is required no matter what."

"So no lyrium, you can't fight mages?"

"A mage still dies to a sword in the stomach all the same, but the abilities of Templars and Seekers allow us to prevent mages from using magic near us, or at least make it substantively harder." Cassandra explained.

"So you're a lyrium addict too?"

"No," Cassandra answered curtly, "Seekers acquire our abilities differently, and the process by which we do so is... difficult to replicate. That is why there are so few of us."

"And your religion's solution was to give your soldiers drugs and make them addicts, just to get more of them." She scoffed. "Fuck, I don't even -" she pressed the bases of her palms to her forehead. "Okay, fuck, I really don't know what to think about any of this. It's insane, it feels like the plot of a fantasy novel and I just - I just want coffee and maybe something to eat and to collapse and process all of this shit."

"Understandable, under the circumstances." Josephine nodded.

"Agreed. There is still more to discuss, about how we move forward with the Breach," Cassandra nodded. "But matters there are still being determined."

"So you at least have some ideas on how to try again?" Amy asked, letting out a sigh of... not relief, but at least... less tension?

Cassandra nodded: "As far as Solas and the others mages here - ones that did not rebel - can tell, the problem was that your mark wasn't powerful enough to close the Breach entirely. So if we can get more power to aid the process, or find a way to weaken the Breach, then that should allow us to succeed on a second attempt."

"But we must be sure before we try. You were able to stop the Breach from growing, stabilize it - no more balls of fire raining from the sky - and that has been enough to convince people you are the one who can close it. But a second failed attempt could cause people to lose faith." Leliana said, hands clasped behind her back.

"I don't really care if they lose faith in my 'chosen one' status," Amy muttered.

"If people lose faith in the Inquisition, then we won't be able to accomplish anything, or muster the resources required to close the Breach, let alone restore order." Leliana countered bluntly. "Power rests where people believe that it does."

"Well, that part is not my problem. Once you guys figure it out, let me know, okay?" Amy said, then looked over at Josephine. "Are we done enough that I can take you up on that offer of coffee?"

"I believe so." Josephine agreed after glancing over at the others, who didn't object.

"Thank you."

"One moment," Cassandra took a book, and then another, off the shelves, and brought them over. "There is obviously much we had to leave out, but reading these will help you."

Amy looked at the two books, reading the titles on their spines. The first, The Chant of Light, made her grimace. Of course they'd give her the bible.

"I'm not reading your holy book, I'm not - I don't believe in God, so I'm hardly going to start believing in the Maker." Amy snapped. "Fine everyone else believes, but I don't." She started to hand that one back, but Cassandra didn't accept it.

"Just consider it."

Amy rolled her eyes again, and looked at the other book. In Pursuit of Knowledge: The Travels of a Chantry Scholar by 'Brother Ferdinand Genitivi'.

"Brother Genitivi's work was, until recently, one of the most read books in Thedas, and it is an excellent primer on many matters." Cassandra explained.

"And he has been at risk of censure by the Chantry for his candor more than once," Leliana added.

Which means maybe it's more likely to be accurate.

"Okay. Fine." Amy accepted the books. "Coffee, please?"

"Of course," Josephine led her out of the room they were in and off into another side room in the same building, smaller, and a little cozier, with several bookshelves against the wall, and a neatly organized desk with more books and papers. There was a small fire burning in the fireplace, and Josephine grabbed a poker and poked at the flames and ashes and charred wood and all that inside, then she put a split piece of log into the fire, to help it get hotter.

"This is your office then?" Amy looked around.

"I've taken over the space, yes. In the three days you were asleep, I've sent out messages to my friends and contacts across Thedas in an effort to obtain more support for our efforts." She let out a sigh, "Cassandra and Leliana were within their rights to put Justinia's writ into action, especially under the circumstances, but the way they chose to do it will certainly do us no favors." She shook her head, then let out another breath. "But, you do not care about that."

Amy nodded, and Josephine opened a drawer in her desk, retrieving a small manual coffee grinder - Amy had seen those at this one fancy-schmancy place she'd stopped by, though this one was smaller and looked a lot more basic.

Then she took out a metal box and opened it, revealing coffee beans within.

"I admit I have so many more questions about this... Earth-Bet you come from." Josephine said, as she started turning the grinder. Amy hadn't realized how much work would have to go into getting coffee for yourself, especially if you were the only person who drank it.

Is everyone here a tea drinker, or do they just... not drink caffeine? How does anyone function without it? Then again, there were nurses at Brockton General that somehow did without it, so it wasn't technically impossible. Somehow.

"What little you've said makes it sound very different from Thedas. Not just because of the absence of magic," she went on, pouring the coarsely ground beans and water from a pitcher into a small iron kettle-looking thing, stirring it up and placing the kettle on a hook over the fire.

"You have to do that every time you want a cup of coffee?" Amy asked. Grinding the beans yourself and putting the water over an open fire rather than just... put water and grounds into the coffee maker and turn it on.

I miss electricity already.

"Back home in Antiva, or even Val Royeaux, I could go to a cafe and have it made for me, but that's not an option here." Josephine sat down in her chair. "Few in Ferelden enjoy the drink, and it isn't even particularly popular among Orlesians."

"Well, anyone who doesn't like coffee is allowed to be fucking wrong," Amy muttered, and Josephine giggled just a little.

"I might not agree with such blunt vulgarity but I do agree." She admitted. "I take it you get your coffee from cafes, back home?"

"Or things like that, yeah." How could she even begin to explain those coffee vending machines at the hospital, or a coffee maker? "Plus I'm usually the last one out of bed, so Carol or Vicky are the ones to have already made the coffee."

"Carol is your mother, and Vicky your sister, correct?" Amy nodded. "I have a younger sister, Yvette. She is a painter back home in Antiva. She takes endless delight in sharing embarrassing stories about my youth with people whenever we are both together at the same event, but... she is still my sister." She smiled softly, a fond expression on her face.

"Vicky won't stop trying to drag me on dates with her and her stupid boyfriend and whatever guy she's trying to set me up with this time, but she's still the best person I know." Amy said. "She's a fucking nerd too." She couldn't help but smile as she said it, no heat in her voice. She blinked repeatedly, a few tears threatening to rise, talking about her reminding Amy how unlikely she was to see Vicky again -

"No, please, don't cry, I didn't mean to upset you." Josephine removed a handkerchief with a coat of arms sewn into it from a pocket and handed it to Amy.

Amy took it, flushing, dabbing at her eyes.

"No, I just... my sister is the most important person in my life. And they probably all think I'm dead back home and..." she pressed the handkerchief against her eyes again. "I'm not going to stop missing her any time soon."

"I don't think anyone could expect you to. Is she your elder, or your younger sister? If you feel willing to continue speaking of her."

"She's older by a month and change." Amy swallowed. The books on her lap felt weird. The covers were probably thick leather or something, she'd handled some really old books once, they kind of felt like that, but... not, since these weren't old, probably. The paper inside looked different too.

"Just a month? Are months longer than thirty days where you're from?"

"No?" Amy blinked, confused by the question, not following at all.

"Do you have -" Josephine furrowed her brow and her nose crinkled a little, and then, "...is one of you adopted?"

Amy stared at her, trying to understand how Josephine made that - accurate - leap. Oh. Wait. One month isn't enough to like... conceive a new kid and give birth and -

"I'm adopted," Amy answered.

Josephine said nothing for a moment - just a moment - then nodded. "Very well."

"I don't know anything about my birth parents," Amy lied flatly, "And I am a Dallon," she lied again.

Different lies, but still. Both lies.

"Your family is your family." Josephine agreed simply. "I don't mean to touch on any sensitive matters. Merely making conversation." She stood up from her chair and checked the kettle, then carefully took the longer handle off the hook, and set it on the floor a distance away from the fire, probably to let the coffee cool a little to be drinkable now?

"I'm not - I can't really make conversation right now. I just... This world is fucking insane." Amy knew it was a bad idea to just say it like that, but she didn't care. Couldn't care. "I used to read books about shit like this, about worlds of magic and elves and dwarves and... I liked them, but I don't - I don't want to live it!"

"I cannot really imagine what it's like for you to experience all this. This is... nothing like the experience I thought I would have when I agreed to Leliana's request to come and assist the Divine during and after the Conclave, but I am at least in places I have heard of. However..." she grimaced, "lacking in the usual amenities they are." Gesturing to the room around her.

Josephine set out some very nice looking porcelain cups on dishes - they looked like teacups, mostly, if a little wider and shallower.

"One does make do as they can, of course." Josephine said brightly. "I will be happy to do what I can to help you, under the circumstances." She picked up the kettle and poured some into the two cups. It was a very dark brew, but it smelled like coffee. A little different than what she was used to, but that barely mattered.

"Thank you," Amy said quickly, and tried not to snatch the cup up off the dish, instead lifting it to her face and inhaling the smell of it. Her sister didn't understand how Amy could drink black coffee, and it had definitely been an acquired taste, but really, taste wasn't the point for her. But the smell of a good, fresh coffee...

It was a moment Amy really did enjoy, when she was actually able to do that, rather than just downing a cup of whatever cheap crap she could get to keep going at the hospital.

"I love you," she murmured, and she heard Josephine giggle.

"I believe you're talking to the coffee, rather than me?"

Amy didn't say anything, she just took a sip of the coffee.

It was... coffee. It was different from any coffee she'd tasted before - it was a dark roast, bitter (she liked bitter, and didn't use cream or sugar), and it didn't taste quite as strong as the coffee she was used to, and it was a lot oilier than anything she'd had before.

But it was coffee.

Amy let out a long exhaling breath.

"Okay, so - I - what do I have to do to get you to share more of your personal coffee stash? I don't do healing on request but like - if you or anyone or - I'll heal anyone you want. Is anyone in your family sick?"

Josephine laughed, "I will bear that in mind, but as far as I am aware, my parents and my siblings are all quite healthy. I will certainly be willing to share, though if you would be willing to indulge my curiosity about your world in the future, I'd appreciate-"

"Done. Next time, Coffee for answers about Earth-Bet, as best as I can give them." Amy agreed. "But I'm serious about owing you a healing or -" Amy cut herself off before offering to do other modifications - she would, if Josephine asked, if coffee was the price, but like...

She still wasn't sure if admitting just the full range of what she could do was like... a great idea. Even for coffee.

She sipped at the coffee again, sighing again after she swallowed.

"I'll bear that in mind, I promise." Josephine agreed. Thankfully, she stayed silent and sipped at her own coffee while Amy drank hers, savoring it more than she was used to. Hopefully Josephine would let her have more tomorrow, but since the older woman had emphasized she'd really only originally brought enough for just herself...

I am going to have to demand coffee if they want me to keep closing rifts, I swear to god. Amy resolved that that was going to have to be a thing. Sure, she wouldn't actually stop, but like... the hospitals only made her pay for her coffee sometimes - usually after the 3rd or 4th cup - so if she insisted they probably would go for it, right?

Amy wasn't sure how long it took for her to finish - maybe ten minutes? - but it was longer than she usually took to drink coffee. It did feel like there was just less strength to this coffee - maybe it was the bean, or the way she brewed it, or the amount of grounds for the water... Amy didn't know.

She set the cup down on the dish, Josephine still with more than half of her coffee to go as she was reading a letter.

"Thanks for the coffee, and... for all the information you gave." Amy said after a moment, standing. "I have a lot to think about."

"I'll be happy to provide answers to any questions you have. Though I am far less versed in matters of magic and the Fade than others." Josephine said, inclining her head slightly.

Amy nodded back and then left the room, greeted by Cassandra, who had been leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

"Done working out how to close the Breach?"

"Hardly, but there is little that can be done today to resolve the matter," Cassandra said in a frustrated, grumbling tone. "Where are you going next?"

"The place I woke up. I... I guess that's my place now, while I'm here?"

"It has been set aside for you. If there's anything you need, let someone know, we'll try to arrange what we can."

"I need coffee." Amy said bluntly. "I know Josephine said she only brought enough for herself, but... seriously. If you want me closing rifts, I need coffee."

Cassandra stared at her, then shook her head, "I will never understand why Antivans enjoy that drink so much."

"Everyone's allowed to be wrong," Amy muttered.

"I'm sure it can be arranged for more coffee to be brought in, along with other supplies as needed," Cassandra said, walking towards the exit, gesturing for Amy to follow alongside. After a moment, Amy complied, the taller woman shortening her stride to keep pace with Amy. "If you are going to close rifts, you will need armor. And training on how to fight, or at least how to not get hit."

"I'm not a fighter." Amy said quickly. "I don't want to fight."

"That is a luxury you may not have anymore, Amy," Cassandra cautioned. "I am not asking you to take the lead in battle, that would be foolish given your lack of experience and your importance. But you did get injured on the way to the Temple, and a fight can be chaotic. Even if Katerina stays with you during every battle, there is every chance a demon or other enemy might get past her."

"...are you assigning Katerina as my personal bodyguard or something?" Admittedly, the redhead was... nice to look at, and she at least didn't annoy the crap out of Amy much, but still.

"For the moment, yes, unless you have some objection. She is quite skilled, and close to you in age, making her convenient as a guide for you as well. But no one is so skilled they can be guaranteed victory in every fight. So you need armor."

"I've never worn armor before, and I - I barely remember the self-defense training my uncle gave me years ago."

"That much is quite obvious." Cassandra said, and Amy flushed.

"I'm a healer! People knew not to mess with the healer, back home."

"Unfortunately, you are here, and leaving aside demons, it is likely that you will attract enemies. You are a threat to whoever may have been behind the Breach, and anyone else you might decide you could upset their own power."

"Fuck them. I don't care about anyone's power. I just want to figure out how to close the Breach and find a way home."

"Understandable, and admirable. I despise politics, but it is unavoidable. I have arranged for our master armorer, Harrit, to fit you for armor tomorrow. Would you prefer leather, or chainmail?"

Neither. Is neither a choice? Amy didn't ask, because obviously it wasn't. And...

She didn't want to have demons cutting her again. Avoiding fighting when she had to be close to it... Amy licked her lips then bit the inside of her cheek, inhaling.

No. No. Don't think about it too much... Of course, thinking that just made her do it more...

"Leather? Chainmail? I don't - whichever fits better under the robes, maybe? Whichever is warmer?" Amy added. "It's fucking cold up here."

"Leather armor will probably be easier on you, in terms of managing the weight." Cassandra said with a nod, some finality to her tone. "And you will need to build your endurance."

Amy blinked, "What?"

"You managed to push yourself to your limits getting to the temple, but you are not used to such exertions. I've never heard of the phrase 'leg day', but I can surmise the meaning from the context of what you said about skipping it."

Oh fuck you. Fuck YOU. Amy could see where this was going, and she did not like it.

"I'm not agreeing to join twenty-four hour fitness! Fuck, I'm already so far out of my element and in over my head I can't even see daylight and now you want me to do... what, ten mile jogs every day?"

"I assumed we'd start somewhere well below that, and go from there, but if you'd prefer to begin with ten mile jogs, we can." Cassandra replied calmly.

"Was that a fucking joke?" Amy demanded, then shook her head, groaning. "I hate this. I hate all of this so much." She muttered under her breath, even though she knew the answer: "What would Vicky do?"

Fly, because she doesn't need to run. Not that her sister wouldn't do the jogging if she needed to build up the endurance anyway. Victoria was lucky that her metabolism was naturally good, and she did train and practice with fighting and stuff too, so she could stay in shape - really fucking amazing, perfect shape - that way. Amy had given up on exercise ages ago, beyond walking the corridors at the hospital, which was just not the same as jogging through mountains in a life and death situation.

They reached the doors, and Katerina was waiting out front as they opened them, though the woman was walking to Varric.

"...you're telling me the stories about Orsino were wrong?" She sounded like she didn't believe what she was saying, or whatever she'd heard.

"I'm telling you the rumors that he did some sort of blood magic ritual and became a giant flesh monster are wrong. I was there, and the First Enchanter did nothing of the sort. Which is good, because there was really only room for one sane Blood Mage in that battle, and Daisy had that spot taken."

"You never mentioned in your book that Merrill was a Blood Mage." Katerina said.

"Because it would give people the wrong idea about her." Varric replied cooly.

"Give people the idea that the Champion's lover was a maleficar?" Cassandra asked. Katerina let out a small surprised sound, and turned.

"Seeker, when you use words like 'maleficar' you completely misrepresent the kind of person Daisy was. I've met a lot of blood mages, killed most of them, but Merrill wasn't like any of them. If you thought she was a threat, you'd have gone after her while you were in Kirkwall. It's not like she's hiding, she's been out in the open in the alienage there for years."

"Compared to everything else we were dealing with, and are dealing with, yes, she is not much of a threat."

"And you don't want Hawke coming after you if you laid a finger on her." Varric chuckled, and turned back to Katerina. "This one noble bastard in Hightown once thought Merril was just Hawke's maidservant, tried to shove her out of his way - Hawke broke two of his fingers and gave him a black eye before he could even blink." He shook his head, and Amy just let all this extra stuff wash over her.

About the only thing that sort of registered for her is that this Hawke was the same Hawke that Leliana had mentioned earlier, protecting the mages from Meredith?

...and no one seems to be bothered that a woman was dating another woman? Merril was a woman, and this Hawke was, and Cassandra just mentioned they were lovers, but with no sign of any... disgust or distaste? She searched Cassandra's and Katerina's expressions, but neither seemed bothered.

Really nice to know being gay isn't against the religion here... Not that it was ever going to matter, but... not getting burned at the stake for being attracted to women was a good thing.

"My apologies, Lady Pentaghast, I was merely discussing the Tale of the Champion with Varric while we waited."

"So I gathered. Varric is quite the skilled spinner of tales, and, remarkably, he's capable of being honest, when he wants to be."

"Well, telling the truth is usually more boring, but you did make a convincing case as to why I should refrain from the usual half-truths and wild exaggerations." Varric shrugged. He looked over at Amy. "And our savior has awoken. How are you holding up?"

"I'm not," Amy muttered. She looked at Cassandra, "I need something to eat. And time to think."

"You'll have both. Katerina, take Amy to the tavern, get her something to eat." She took in a breath. "Leliana has promised that Flissa is trustworthy, but take care with her food, regardless."

"You think Flissa would poison her? Lady Pentaghast, I-"

"I will take no chances."

Fucking hell, now I have to worry about that?

"I'm pretty sure I'm immune to poison. Same way I'm immune to getting sick. Side effect of my power." Not that she'd ever tested poison, because duh.

"Handy. That's the sort of thing that could take you pretty far in the Merchant's Guild... wouldn't do anything about anyone sneaking some knives into your back though," Varric mused.

"That's what I'm for," Katerina grinned. "I'll take you there, and then back to your place," She told Amy.

"I think I'll join you. The tavern's beer isn't that bad, and I could use some lunch."

"Varric..."

"What? Seeker, I'm hardly going to corrupt the Herald-"

"Don't call me that," Amy interrupted. "And right now, I just want food, and then I need to collapse and have time to think. So no questions, and no more information about all the insane shit going on in this insane world. Everyone here's fucking crazy."

"Remind me to never bring you to Kirkwall if you think everyone here is crazy." Varric chuckled. He looked over at the books she was carrying. "Brother Genitivi, eh? Not a bad place to start. Best selling book in Thedas, before my Hard in Hightown serial started to outsell it."

Cassandra made a sort of 'ugh' sound, then turned back to Amy. "We will be fitting you for armor tomorrow, and beginning your training." She said it like there were no options, and Amy grimaced, exhaling slowly. Cassandra turned away and walked back into the Chantry.

"Training?"

"Apparently if I'm going to be traipsing around closing rifts, I need to get better at walking long distances." Amy grumbled.

"She's probably not wrong." Katerina offered, then looked Amy over, smirking faintly for a moment. "And armor's just a good idea if you're going to be getting anywhere close to demons."

"Speaking with way, way too much experience she's right, kid," Varric said. He looked at the closed doors of the Chantry, and leaned in closer, voice quieter. "Really, now that Cassandra's out of ear shot, how are you holding up?"

"I'm fucking not." Amy repeated. "Coffee helped, but this is all too much."

"Well, then let's get you something to eat. My treat." Varric offered.

"Varric, you hardly need to-" Katerina said, but Varric interrupted and shook his head.

"I am a pointlessly wealthy dwarf in charge of a major mechant family and my books make me a fortune besides that. What else am I going to spend my money on but buy food for people I plan to pester with questions, even if not today?"

Great. Amy could just tell Varric was going to be annoying as hell to deal with.

 

[Kylia Quilor]

It has occurred to me that people who didn't play the game wouldn't know what all these characters sound like. Leliana's psuedo-french accent (which can vary in intensity, and was more notable in Dragon Age: Origins) has been noted in story. Personally, I've never had much luck mapping Cassandra and Josephine's accents onto RL ones, so I couldn't really have Amy do that for either. Katerina is also Nevarran (though of peasant stock, rather than Cassandra's noble birth), so her accent is pretty similar to Cassandra's.

But here's some samplings of a few character voices, and I'll try to find other spoiler-free videos that can do the same for others later/as we go.

Josephine:
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRTCPAxGNbk
Leliana:
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkW8tAsY5nk (As I said, to my recollection, her accent is more pronounced in Dragon Age: Origins)
Cassandra:
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840J-klsKsQ

(Again no meaningful spoilers in any of these videos, ftr)

 

[Kylia Quilor]

Author's Note: I am moving pretty slowly, I'll admit. I do appreciate that may bug some people, and as I said before, feel free to wait and come back in a bit. Once we get moving, most of the time we will move at a faster clip, and we'll have times when I gloss over several days at a time, or summarize offscreen events, or otherwise move stuff forward. But I plan to have three distinct fics total, just covering the events of Inquisition and a bit. So that should give you an idea of the sort of pacing I have in mind here.

Amy's got a lot of problems, and a lot to unpack, and there's a lot about Thedas I want to expose her to (and a lot about her I want to expose Thedas to), so we're going to go at the pace we're going to go. There's also gonna be a lot of inconsistent chapter length, as you've already seen.

I hope you guys continue to enjoy it, but I am serious - if you think it's too slow, but do like the story, wait a while and come back and binge it. Things do move, it just may take a while. Positive feedback, likes, kudos, active discussion and the like do spur more inspiration, though I'll keep going regardless, because this story is near and dear to my heart.

Courtesy of reader KiptheOtt, this fic now has a TVTropes page. Thank you very much Kip!

Thanks to everyone who's read and enjoyed so far, and now, on with the fic!

---

The tavern didn't quite match what Amy expected - some dingy, dimly lit place with a bunch of armed men drinking and yelling and singing off-key. Maybe it was just too early in the day for that. There was a roaring fire at one end, far from the door, and a couple long, rectangular tables. There were a few people sitting at one table, the other empty, while a soldier was talking to what Amy assumed was the barkeep or whatever of the inn, something about sacks of flour.

"Flissa - three beers and something to eat. My tab." Varric said.

"I don't want beer." Amy said quickly. She'd seen what alcohol could do to the body way too much to ever be inclined to drink it, and the last thing she needed was to have her judgement compromised. Especially here, especially now.

"Well, the wine available in town is basically just -" Varric cautioned, but Amy shook her head.

"I don't want wine. I don't want any alcohol. I just want water. Just a - just clean, drinkable water." They could fucking do that, right? Did they have a well, or something? Amy could probably get away with drinking really shitty water if she had to, but it wasn't like she wanted to taste that.

Varric looked at her weirdly, and then nodded to the barkeep - Flissa. "If she wants water, get her water."

Flissa made an affirmative comment, and then after a minute, arrived with three wooden cups, two with beer, and one with water that looked clean.

Amy sipped at the water. Tasted clean, probably not as clean as something modern plumbing could do, but... good enough, she supposed.

"So, you said no questions, but it's pretty hard not to ask them." Varric admitted. Amy tried to muster enough energy to glare at him, but all she managed to do was make an annoyed sort of grunt and maybe look frustrated. Varric held up a hand. "I said I wouldn't, and I won't. Still, asking me not to talk is a punishment worse than death."

"I could always pester you more about Hawke," Katerina suggested. "The true stories, not what you put in your book."

"Everything I put in the book is mostly true," Varric said. "I just made it more interesting, and left out a few details,"

"But you mentioned Anders was an abomination." Katerina countered. "Why not leave that out?"

"By the time I wrote it all down as the one book, Blondie was dead, and the damage was done. Besides, enough people had heard what he was." Varric answered. "And frankly, I didn't care about people getting the wrong idea about him." He sighed. "I'm the one who introduced Hawke and Anders, or close enough anyway."

"Cassandra mentioned something like that. The book is vague on exactly how they met, apart from his clinic in Darktown," Katerina agreed.

Amy tried not to pay too close attention to this, but it was hard - tired or not, exhausted or not, she couldn't shut her brain off completely. She recognized Anders - the one who destroyed the Chantry in Kirkwall and started the war she'd landed in the middle of. He had a clinic?

Amy tried not to let herself linger on that thought - a healer who went fucking terrorist and killed a lot of people and - no one missed him now, judging from what Varric was saying, and the way he was saying it. Very 'good riddance'.

If Vicky, if Carol had found out what she was really like, would they have even bothered to say that much about her?

"A book has to keep the audience interested, and there's a lot of boring stuff Hawke did." Varric answered, sipping at his beer. Katerina raised an eyebrow and made a skeptical 'mhm' sound. "Sure, there was never a boring week in Kirkwall for us, but Hawke absolutely spent a lot of time running around and doing very little, or just returning people's lost property."

"She found your father's signet ring in the belly of a dragon and fought a whole pack of werewolves over it, according to the stories they say you tell in Kirkwall." Katerina said, struggling to keep a straight face.

"She found it at a pawn shop, actually," Varric admitted, chuckling himself.. "But I didn't put that in the book for a reason. By the time I was writing it all down, Hawke and Merril were in the wind, and it looked like war was starting. I don't know, I felt like maybe something closer to the truth, telling people how it all really went, might have helped."

"It didn't." Katerina commented blandly.

"I have no idea what either of you are talking about, and it's confusing the hell out of me." Amy muttered. She felt a twinge in her stomach, "And where's the food."

"Probably just finished heating up." Varric said. "Yep, here it's coming,"

A bowl of stew was put in front of her, as well as a thick slice of dark bread. Whole wheat, or rye maybe? The stew smelled like garlic and onions and vinegar, but not in a way that was like, terrible. There was a wooden spoon in the bowl, and Amy picked it up, lifting a bit of the stew out.

Stringy bits of what might have been cabbage, and bite-sized chunks of meat - not a lot of them, but it was definitely meat.

The stories she'd read did have stew being a pretty common food in taverns, and this at least looked and smelled edible... Amy supposed she didn't really have any room to bitch, either way.

Katerina didn't even hesitate, digging into her stew eagerly.

"So, I'm guessing part of the reason you're so exhausted is because the Seeker and the others decided to try and stuff a thousand years of history into your head all at once?" Varric asked. "You don't need to answer, I know the look. Plus the Genitivi Book... you're not from Thedas, so there's a lot you don't know, or understand."

"Try all of it. Whole fucking world is nuts," Amy muttered, then took a spoonful of the stew. Definitely cabbage - maybe sauerkraut, actually, because it tasted like it had been pickled, maybe. Onion and garlic flavor. And the meat was... it tasted like it might have been tough once, and it was sort of...

She couldn't name the flavor, but it was strong. Not beef or chicken or pork, definitely. Or fish.

"What meat is this?" She almost wasn't sure she wanted to know, but if it was something like... fucking horse or cat or -

"Mutton." Katerina answered.

"Sheep?" Amy remembered something about mutton stew in one of the Roaraxia books, vaguely. She took another spoonful.

She didn't hate it.

"So what, you're going to go back to your cabin and read Brother Genitivi until it all makes sense?" Varric asked.

"I was thinking more about collapsing on the bed and hope I wake up back home." Amy muttered.

"Pretty sure this isn't a dream, but I do have to compliment you on your taste if you dreamed me up." Varric grinned.

Amy looked over at Varric, "...I'm not sure I could dream any of this up." None of her dreams were ever like this, so vivid and... fucking random. "You're definitely not what I'd expect to see in one." Katerina on the other hand...

Despite everything, Amy was 17. She didn't exactly have a healthy sex drive, but a pretty girl was a pretty girl, even if everyone paled in comparison to Vicky.

"Probably not a dream," Amy admitted. "But I still can't believe any of this is happening."

"Well, if this has all been the Maker winding us up, I hope there's a damn good punchline. Between the Conclave blowing up, the sky splitting open, the Divine being dead and demons showing up everywhere, saying morale's been shit would be an understatement." He sipped at his beer. "You waking up has been the first thing to convince people to start hoping."

"Then why did you stick around?" Katerina asked. "Even after the fight at the temple?"

"I like to think I'm as selfish and irresponsible as the next guy, but this...thousands of people died on that mountain. I was almost one of them," he shook his head, "And now there's a hole in the sky. Even I can't walk away from this and hope it all works out."

Amy could... almost respect that. Varric definitely gave the air of a roguish sort of person, she'd seen the types in the books she used to read. Usually they turned out to have hearts of gold and all that.

But this is real life. Rogues with a heart of gold aren't a fucking thing. Selfish bastards are just that. Selfish. In real life, Han Solo runs off with the money and doesn't come back to save the day.

So Varric was probably going to run off sooner or later.

"What about you, kid?" Varric asked. "Mark on your hand or not, this isn't your home. Why so eager to stick around and be part of this?" He sighed. "I probably shouldn't be saying this, especially not in front of Katerina here, but you might want to consider running at the first opportunity and figuring out how to get home. I've written enough tragedies to recognize how one starts." He said that second part in a... not reassuring voice, because nothing about what he said could be reassuring, but... supportive? Concerned?

"Even if I had a choice, I couldn't." Amy muttered. "I can't just do nothing when doing nothing will mean people die." Which reminded her... Amy should heal. There had to be injured from the fighting...

But it had been three days? Would anyone who couldn't have been helped with healing potions or healing magic even still be alive? She'd have to ask.

"A hero then. I can respect that. There's a lot of heroes in the world. I've met a few. But this? That hole in the sky?" Varric shook his head, gesturing upwards with one hand. "That's going to take a miracle."

Good thing Panacea, Miracle Healer is on the case! She tried to push the unbidden thought down. Amy hated her cape name, hated the people who called her a miracle healer, always acting like her power was some gift, that - that this was something she'd wanted, asked for, enjoyed, or... fucking something.

There was nothing miraculous about how much it sucked to heal people, day in, day out, everything blurring together. Or when she had to have her arms deep in blood and viscera and internal organs just to keep people alive after a major cape battle with civilian casualties, or - or after a multi-car accident or -

I can't help anyone in the Bay right now. But I can help people here.

"Are there any sick or injured people left from the fighting?" Amy asked, not caring if the other two thought it was some weird topic change. "I should -" she started to stand up, but Katerina put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down into her chair.

Varric gave her an odd look, but didn't say anything.

"You should go back to your bed, lie down, and think. And rest." Katerina said. "No one is dying." She gestured to the bowl of stew and the bread. "Finish your food."

"Fuck, are you my bodyguard or my keeper?" Amy muttered.

"Both, apparently." Katerina observed.

"If I can heal people who are hurting, I can't just do nothing," Amy countered, grumbling, but she took another spoonful of her soup, and then took a bite off the bread. Definitely rye. Ugh.

Beggars can't be choosers, and... Amy had no right to bitch. Medieval hellhole. Sure, one in this village looked like they were starving, but there were probably people starving all over this world.

"There aren't any serious injuries. We have enough mages and alchemists for what is left, at this point." Katerina assured her. "Save your healing for next time there's a fight with demons."

Amy bit her lower lip. She'd - she'd find the... okay, not hospital or clinic... infirmary, maybe? Would that be what they'd call it?

I'll find the infirmary tomorrow. Or tonight. Or something.

"Fine."

"Good." Katerina nodded. "Then let's talk about something else: What exactly do you do, when you're not healing, or closing rifts into the Fade?"

"I said no questions," Amy muttered. She'd answered way too many of those already since coming into this damn tavern.

"Asking about what you do in your leisure time is hardly the same thing as pestering you about where you come from," Varric pointed out. "I drink, I tell stories, I play Wicked Grace. The Seeker puts in too much time beating up training dummies or sparring with people, and Katerina here... well, I'm guessing you read, if you liked Tale of the Champion so much."

"I could just be interested in Hawke," Katerina countered, but then she shook her head. "No, I read. When I can, and what I can get. There's a lot of books you never find in a tiny farming village, and books they'll never let a trainee templar get their hands on." She looked back over at Amy. "So, what about you?"

"You're a Templar?" Amy looked at Katerina. Everything they'd told her about Templars during that 'summary' she'd just gotten hadn't really made her like the sound of them. Everything her family didn't like about the PRT and Protectorate - no accountability, no oversight, nothing to stop them from hiding and covering stuff up. They served a purpose but... fuck, they were keeping people prisoners just because of how they were born. Something they couldn't control.

If they tried that on Earth-Bet, just lock up all the parahumans, just because... Villains, yeah. You had to lock them up. Criminals in general. They were evil, they hurt people, ruined lives... they had to be taken out of circulation, to protect people.

But not every parahuman was a criminal, and everyone in her little lesson had agreed there were good mages, so you don't just lock them all up.

If Katerina had been part of that... But then, if she was, why was she here, instead of... fighting the mages?

I mean, Cullen was a templar and he didn't rebel so maybe she didn't-

"I was a recruit, a trainee. I was only two years into the process - I hadn't even taken my vows yet," Katerina explained. "When they rebelled, I refused to do it. A... friend of a friend was able to reach out to Lady Pentaghast, and I joined her retinue, along with anyone else who still wanted to stay loyal to the Divine." She looked somber for a moment.

"Trust me, from everything I know about Templars, you're better off not being with them," Varric assured her.

"I know." She shook her head, "I know a lot of people assume that if either side was behind the explosion, it was the mages, but some of the things my superiors -my comrades, even - were saying about the Divine before the dissolution of the Nevarran Accord..." She let out a breath. "I'd put my money on the Templars being behind it."

"I'm almost considering taking you up on that." Varric said, "But I'm not sure a betting book about who blew up the holiest place in Thedas and killed thousands of people is the best idea. Even for me."

"Lady Pentaghast would likely try to string you up by your ears if you did it, true," Katerina agreed with a small, dark chuckle.

Amy still wasn't sure what to think - she'd joined the Templars. But... they did do good work, it sounded like. Blood magic was obviously pretty bad, between the name and the whole 'human sacrifice' thing. People possessed by demons were bad, so they needed to be stopped. But she'd also drawn a line. A good line.

Just one more thing to try and make sense of. Fuck.

Amy sipped her water, and took another spoonful of the stew. It was... growing on her. And she'd been hungrier than she'd realized. That stupid energy bar had been the last thing she'd actually eaten, before this. Probably got fed broth or honey or something while she was sleeping, but that was only so much.

She couldn't even remember the last thing she'd eaten before that bar? Breakfast that morning? Maybe? She might have skipped it. And even if she didn't, she didn't remember what it was.

"Okay." Amy took a slow breath, and then more of the bread. "Good to know." She blinked, "Are you addicted to-" If she was, Amy would have to worry about her 'bodyguard' getting some sort of craving, and - she still didn't know how she felt about Templars all being addicts. It wasn't the same as someone choosing to ruin their life with cocaine, but...

"You don't start taking Lyrium until you're further along in your training than I was," Katerina interrupted. Amy nodded, and Katerina went on. "Seriously, though, Amy, what do you do? Pastimes? Everyone has something, and with... that," she gestured to Amy's left hand "you'll need something to keep you sane."

Pastimes? What are those? Amy held back that thought. What did she do, when she wasn't healing? Dodge (well, try and fail to) her sister's attempts to set her up on double dates. Lie in bed awake and remind herself all the people she could be healing if she just went to the hospital. Watching TV mindlessly next to Mark late at night when neither of them could sleep. Going to school to take pointless classes as if she was going to go to college or live to see thirty anyway.

Those were what she did when she wasn't healing, wasn't it? That and... well, be gross about her own fucking sister because Amy just had to fucking -

She still had books. Vicky still bought her books for her birthday. Even Carol gave her gift certificates for bookstores for her birthday. And she - she sometimes tried to read one. Even sometimes made progress. But... she just usually couldn't bring herself to. It wasn't even just an issue of time spent healing. She just... sometimes reading felt like it took too much effort. And more importantly, the process of reminding herself about all the people who could be dying while she was reading weighed her down.

So... she just didn't really read. Not much. Not enough. Before she'd triggered, her pile of unread books got bigger because she just wanted more books - what reader didn't? - but after...

It grew because she barely read. Maybe a book every few months, if she was lucky. She still hadn't been able to bring herself to touch any of her Roaraxia books in... so long. Carol had ruined those for her.

"I used to read," Amy said, finally, before scraping up the last of her stew with her spoon and eating it.

"Used to? What did you forget?" Varric asked, chuckling. "Make some kind of cursed bargain to be able to heal like you do, and -"

"No." Amy cut him off. "I just don't have time. Between - healing and school and... stuff." Amy finished off her bread as well. She looked over at Katerina, who was almost done with her food. "I'm ready to head back to my... place." It wasn't a 'room', but it wasn't a 'house'. Cabin, maybe?

"Right. One second." Katerina downed the rest of her stew and drained the last of her beer, before grabbing her half-eaten piece of bread and standing up. "Thanks for the food, Varric." She nodded to the dwarf. "And the chance to talk about Hawke, some more."

"If there's one thing I enjoy doing, it's talking." Varric said agreeably, and Katerina led Amy out of the tavern and the short distance back to her cabin.

Let's call it that, I guess.

They got looks and murmurs, but a few 'stay back' gestures from Katerina - for the moment - seemed to keep people away from her, for now. Amy doubted that would last forever, if they really thought she was chosen by their god. It was bad enough when people just wanted healing from a cape.

Wanting healing from a fucking religious icon...

That would be so much worse.

"Are you going to just... stand out front of the door, or something?" Amy asked, as Katerina took position next to the door after opening it for Amy and looking inside the place for a moment.

"Until someone comes to relieve me." Katerina nodded.

"Fucking hell this is insane," Amy muttered. Bodyguard. She had a bodyguard. Multiple ones, if someone else was going to come take her place eventually. People might want to kill her.

It had been a possibility ever since Aunt Jess died, but - but this was so much worse and different...

More direct.

Whoever was behind the explosion might want to kill her, if someone was alive. Anyone who thought she was a 'threat' because she was a fucking 'prophet'.

"I..." she looked at Katerina, then, "I- thanks." she muttered that last part out, and then went inside, closing the door behind her and walking to the bed. She pulled off her robes, put the books - the one by Genitivi and the Chant of Light and flopped onto the bed, face first, lying on her stomach, unmoving for a long moment.

It was... not soft, compared to her bed. But it was softer than not lying in bed.

Why life hard and cold? Because bed warm and soft. Or something like that.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" Amy muttered to herself. What - what the fuck could she do? She had to help close the Breach, that was a given. But the rest of it. Being lost in this... medieval shithole of a world. Being... a religious symbol. A chosen one. Having to deal with demons trying to kill her and fuck if she knew who or what else.

Dragons are a fucking thing here! Amy wanted to touch one, wanted to see how the fuck that worked. How did a dragon breath fire? Some sort of chemical reaction? Just... magic bullshit?

Elves and dwarves and demons and magic. Religious politics and actual politics and SLAVERY was a thing here, even if nowhere near her and - and -

A giant fucking hole in the fabric of reality and now there's a bunch of smaller ones.

How the fuck was anyone supposed to deal with this shit? She wanted to come back here to think, to process, but she didn't even know where to begin.

Her sister. Her sister would... okay, Vicky wouldn't just 'know' what to do, but she'd be able to figure it out. She'd know how to try and figure it out. Where to start. And once she knew, she'd know. Vicky knew what was right and did it.

Maybe did it too much, what with the six criminals Amy had had to save for her, but...

Amy felt tears in her eyes again, and she didn't bother to try and wipe or blink them away, rolling over onto her side and not so much sobbing as just... crying. It was less intense then her earlier breakdown, but -

What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to deal with any of this? She could feel it, a dense knot in her stomach, weighing her down. The sheer monumentality of this. Somehow, she was - as far as she knew - the only one who could close the Breach. That meant, possibly an entire fucking planet rested on her shoulders and -

How? She didn't have the slightest idea! And - here she was just... lying in bed rather than... doing something about it.

But there's nothing I can do! No one knew how to do it, and it wasn't... Amy didn't have the slightest idea how it could be done. And -

And even once a solution existed and she had to do it and then - and then what? Cassandra offered to help her find a way home, but she still wasn't even sure if they really believed her about alternate Earths and if there were no Tinkers... unless magic could do something about it and -

Amy... she didn't ask for any of this. Who could? Who would? Some idiot who thought their life was boring but Amy... Amy missed boring. She craved boring. She dreamed of boring, those few times she actually got to have nice dreams.

She just... she just wanted to be home. She wanted her sister and her own bed and the books she was never going to read and she wanted to sit next to Mark on the couch late at night when neither of them could sleep and just mindlessly watch whatever channel had something vaguely not terrible showing and she wanted -

She just..

Amy screwed her eyes shut, trying to stem the flow of tears. Crying wasn't helping her make sense of things, but - she still

I still don't know where to start.

Amy wiped at her eyes with her shirt, sniffling, trying and failing to force a deep breath.

She had... a lot of information. Too much. And - and none of it made sense and it was all... it was so much fucking bullshit and she had to make sense of it. She was stuck in the middle of this stupid war between mages and Templars and the Fade and demons and...

Amy inhaled again.

Then...

What Would Vicky Do?

Amy had a feeling she was going to be asking herself that a lot and... it was relevant here. Because her sister was a fucking nerd. Sure, mostly about parahuman studies and other cape bullshit, but she actually bothered to take her classes seriously. Victoria Dallon was at least a contender for Valedictorian of their class, from what Amy heard, and from the work she'd seen her sister put into studying for everything...

Her sister had a system for studying and for prepping for examines and Amy... did not. Because she didn't care, didn't aim for college like her sister. She only cared about her grades enough to mostly keep Carol off her back...

Vicky had, more than once, tried to help Amy with her grades, get her to study with her or at least... study her way of doing it. Because it was good and effective and...

Amy could only remember parts of it, but writing everything they'd all just talked about now, while it was fresh in her mind. And then... organizing everything by topic and... something about identifying areas she needed more information on. More details. Questions she had. Things that didn't add up.

She was just proving her sister right about everything here, wasn't she? Amy's reluctance to exercise was coming back to bite her and she'd have permanent leg day starting tomorrow, probably, and not wanting to learn how to fight was a problem - not one Amy was going to fix, because she didn't want to fight, and she'd - she'd just be useless anyway - and then -

And now her sister's insistence she should take studying more seriously was proven right because then Amy might actually remember exactly what she should do.

But she could still do what she remembered.

Wiping at her eyes again, Amy stood up and looked over at the table. There wasn't a quill or an inkwell that she could see and... Amy really wasn't looking forward to trying to use a quill, but it was probably what they had so - quill it was. Write it down while she could remember. No paper or... parchment or anything.

Amy walked over to the door and opened it a little, poking her head out. There was a small cluster of people like, twenty feet away, gathered, staring at the door, and a few pointed when she saw her, murmuring -

Fuck.

Katerina was standing guard and Amy...

"I - can I get some... a quill and some ink? Something to write on? And..." Amy swallowed - she could use some more water too. "And some water?"

Katerina, who had been pretty attentively watching the crowd, turned to her. She was about to say something, when someone called out: "Herald!" And started to approach. Katerina raised her hands up, palms out, moving to intercept the young woman approaching.

"She's not taking any visitors right now. The - The Herald has a lot to deal with."

Amy tried to tune the woman out as she seemed to try to press the issue with Katerina - something about wanting a blessing, or - needing a blessing, or... something, maybe? Amy just closed the door again and pressed her back to it, sliding down to sit on the floor.

The idea of facing that later was another knot in her stomach, bigger, heavier, denser... Katerina was keeping people at bay and fuck if she knew if that was it or if there was more, but how long would that be?

And then wait until I start healing people... Sooner or later someone would get sick, right? Or hurt? And they'd ask her to use her power on them and it was hard enough convincing the really devout back on Earth-Bet that her powers weren't a gift from God.

I don't even fucking know how I'll do it here.

After a few minutes, Amy stood back up and walked back to the bed, sitting down on it, wiping at her eyes again, knowing she was probably leaving them red and blotchy and fuck if she knew what else, but -

She sat there, not really even thinking about anything but all the fucking shit that was coming that she was dreading, the 'awe' and the 'oh thank you' and the... 'bless me' apparently that was coming and the rest of it and it was -

There was a knock on the door. "Amy?" It was Katerina's voice, and Amy nearly jumped, startled. "Come in," Amy said after a moment to catch her breath and Katerina walked in, holding a basket in one hand, and a metal pitcher - beaten, worn, old looking metal, but not rusty or anything - in the other.

Katerina closed the door behind her. "Water," she set the pitcher down on the table next to the cup Amy had drunk out of earlier, "Parchment, quill, inkwell and," she reached into the basket and pulled out... a book. "Varric asked me to give you this."

Amy took the book, the cover red with a design on the cover that looked like... all lines arrayed in a sort of... it looked like a very abstract... key with two wings, or something? And then underneath it 'The Tale of the Champion'.

"His book about Hawke?" And everything that happened in Kirkwall.

"It's a very good one, better than his more famous Hard in Hightown serial, though this may overtake it," Katerina explained. "He said it would help you understand 'how everything went to shit'."

Kirkwall was part of the spark that set everything off... Hawke and the mage that blew up the Chantry in the city and this Meredith woman and... the Red Lyrium and...

"Didn't he admit that he exaggerates and tells half-truths?" Amy looked at the book. It was... pretty thick, actually. Like, a serious book, not some thin little thing. Though the pages themselves looked thicker than what she was used to. Probably a different kind of paper. Less refined or something.

"He also said that this book is closer to the truth. He left out a few things, like Merrill being a blood mage," she grimaced, "really hated learning that fun little detail months after I'd read the book," she let out a breath, shaking her head, then, "But - a lot of it is true, even if the fights are more dramatic. And he said it really does convey the essence of it. Besides, Hawke and her friends had a lot of opinions on mages and Templars, and Varric wrote them all down."

Amy looked the book over, then set it down on the bed next to her.

And what about your opinions? You were a Templar in training. Sure, you quit when they broke away from your version of the Pope, but you joined for a reason. On the other hand, Katerina thought the Templars were more likely to be behind the explosion, so... was she pro-mage? Or just-

Amy shoved those thoughts to the back of her head. She still needed to actually work through all those issues and questions and details.

"Besides, it's good. And you did say you used to read a lot." Katerina pointed out. "Brother Genitivi is a good writer, but Tale of the Champion is going to be a lot more fun."

Not here to have fun.

"I'll - I'll think about it." Amy muttered. "...Thanks for the stuff." She stood up off the bed and put the small stack of blank parchment, inkwell with a cork in it and the quill on the table.

"You're welcome." Katerina offered her a small smile, and then left the little cabin, probably to go back to standing guard.

Amy took a few breaths to steady her mind, then sat down and set out to organize her thoughts and what she knew and make sense of what she learned. Of course, that meant trying to use the quill and ink.

Trying.

---

The rest of the day saw her writing down everything she could remember from the conversation, everything she'd overheard.

After she spent way too long failing to get anywhere with the quill, and swearing up a storm and getting her hands covered in so much ink you'd think she'd just spent hours healing a bunch of injured squid or something.

She'd wiped the ink off on her shirt as much as she could, but her hands were still stained by the time the elven woman from the morning returned with dinner - more stew, and more bread. Amy hadn't even realized how late it was, but she took the break and ate, returning to her writing after she was done.

The sprawling, ink-blotch covered 'notes' were a barely comprehensible mess even to her, but the act of writing everything down had at least helped her organize her thoughts. At least a little. Her head still felt crammed full to bursting with information and it still felt jumbled and all over the place, but it was a little less so and that's what mattered.

• Tevinter Imperium - Bad, even if the current one was apparently less bad than it used to be. Still had slavery, so fuck them.
• Chantry - basically just Medieval Catholicism, as far as Amy could tell and recall from half-remembered history classes. She'd read a book that had had a fantasy version of the Catholic church, and the Chantry sort of lined up with them, but it was... different to see it in person. Amy didn't really know much about them yet, but they were led by a Divine (Pope) and there were Grand Clerics, who seemed to be - like PRT regional directors, but for the church? (Those were Archbishops, right? Or Cardinals? Fuck, Amy had no idea)
• Anyway, Chantry was... big deal. And headless. And the Inquisition was... apparently not popular with at least one guy who was kind of important, and Josephine had sounded like she didn't expect the rest of the Chantry to be super onboard. But it sounded like political bullshit, not like 'heretics, burn them'. But those were pretty much the same thing in European history once.
• Mages. Templars. Mages had it... even worse than parahumans, sorta. They were just born with magic. No trigger. Nothing they could do to not have magic. And then either criminals on the run, or rounded up and thrown into... prison, just for maybe. Amy... Amy couldn't get behind that. Imprison the bad ones, even kill them if they were bad enough to deserve the Thedas version of a Kill Order, but... just... suspicion shouldn't be enough. Her sister could do terrible things with her power. Did go too far, but - Vicky didn't deserve prison for the things she'd done, let alone the mere possibility of what she could do. Carol's light weaponry could kill people. Crystal and Eric and Aunt Sarah could do God knew what if they really wanted to. But none of them deserved prison. They were good people. So good people who were mages existed.
• But also... blood magic sounded pretty horrible. (But apparently someone Varric thought harmless used it and she was the girlfriend(?) of this Hawke that Katerina held in esteem and Leliana seemed to as well. And Cassandra had decided this Merrill was harmless too? How did that work?)
• Abominations... Amy didn't like thinking about those. Possession by a demon... it... it sounded insane, and Amy wasn't even sure if she believed it but... demons appeared to be real and magic was real so... Amy shoved the things that made her think of, the things it reminded her of, down. She had to focus.
• So magic could be an issue. Templars as magic police... made sense. And they also apparently were supposed to protect innocent mages too. Vicky had mentioned once how she'd learned that in the bad old days, when parahumans were new... some lynch mobs had gone after parahumans, just to kill them for being 'freaks'. Weak ones, not the kinds that could handle normal people without a problem but... So that sort of thing. But Cullen had said the Templars had forgotten that part of the job.
• Which brought her to the Templars. Addicts. Cops gone rogue. Abusing the mages under their authority. That woman that everyone apparently agreed was crazy, Meredith. Addicts were the architects of their own suffering. Too weak to say no. Too pathetic and selfish to not shoot up or drink or whatever else. But soldiers ordered to use it? That... that felt a little different. But at the same time, the Templars felt like everything Carol and Aunt Sarah had ever said against the PRT. The Protectorate. Too much authority, too little oversight, too little accountability. Cassandra had suggested the Seekers that were supposed to monitor them had lost sight of that.
• And they were pissy they couldn't hunt mages because the Pope - Divine - said maybe murdering a whole city's worth is bad? Cullen had tried to... offer some sort of context, said that they felt 'ill-used' but that wasn't really a fucking defense. Katerina didn't seem to have much sympathy for her former fellow Templars. But Amy still needed to understand more to make sense of the idea that the cops would rebel against the government - basically what it was. It didn't make sense to her. The idea of something like that happening back home felt... insane. Corrupt cops were one thing but just... the whole BBPD turning on the Mayor? Or the PRT turning against the US and Canadian governments? It seemed... impossible.
• All of that was... a lot, but it all came down to the only thing that mattered. The Breach. Someone caused it. She'd heard his voice. She'd been there and couldn't remember it!. Human sacrifice wasn't a good guy thing to begin with, exploding a peace conference was just icing on the evil cake.
• Huge rift and smaller rifts, all into the realm of demons. Demons coming out. Needed to be stopped. Amy was the only one who could. At the end of the day, that was all that mattered. She had to do that. She had to help with that, because...

"I have to help close it because how the fuck could I live with myself if I didn't." She laid awake in bed thinking about people in a hospital just in one city. She hated herself for ever trying to take any time to herself - not that she ever did much with it - and...

It would be so much worse, if it was... a whole world. Even if Vicky stepped through a portal tomorrow and asked her come home with her...

I can't just... I can't just do nothing.

Amy sipped at water again, futility wiped her hands on her shirt some more and blew out the candle and left her incoherent notes on the table. She... she felt... she felt like it was at least organized enough in her head that she could sleep. Hopefully.

She needed her rest because...

Tomorrow is apparently fucking leg day.

---

Amy's sleep that night was... oddly, some of the most restful she'd had in a while. She chalked it up to the sheer mental exhaustion of trying to sort out what the fuck was going on as she ate the breakfast of bread, water and dried apple slices provided to her. The slices were chewy, like jerky, but... tasted okay.

Restful sleep or not, without her morning coffee, Amy still felt like a zombie as she stood there, eating, trying to make sense of the notes she'd written last night. They were a mess, and her brain was too fogged to do much with them, so she pushed them aside, wondering if Josephine was awake, if she could go pester the woman for another cup of coffee...

Maybe I should wait until later today. Probably can only get the one cup a day. Plus she'd have to answer the woman's questions if she wanted more coffee from her, and that sounded exhausting to bother with right now. So she sat on the bed and sipped at the water, slowly chewing some more bread when there was a knock on the door.

"What?" Amy demanded, not remotely ready to deal with whatever bullshit was happening now.

Cassandra stepped into the cabin, wearing her armor and sword - Amy hadn't seen her not in her armor, so obviously the woman slept in it right?

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Amy answered, then she sighed, "Tired. Still confused." She more groaned the words out than really said then in any sort of casual tone.

"I suppose the confusion is understandable. As for feeling tired, or 'like shit'-"

"I just need time, to wake up. Or coffee, but that's less of an option than it would have been back home." Amy pinched the bridge of her nose and pulled her hand down her face.

"I could speak to Josephine and ask her to make you some of that drink if you need it." She sounded disgusted at the prospect, which - well, the woman was entitled to be wrong, Amy supposed.

"No. I - I'll owe her answers to questions and that feels like it would be even more exhausting than jogging, right now," Amy muttered. She inhaled slowly, forcing herself to take a deep breath. "Is that what you're here to take me for?"

"First we'll try to fit you for armor." Cassandra said. "You're not getting anywhere near a rift without armor, and so you'll need to be used to the weight of it while you move."

"Ugh," Amy grumbled. Then, before Cassandra could say anything, Amy went on. "Fine, fine." She rubbed at her forehead, feeling the start of a headache. She could follow the logic of armor, she could follow the logic of exercise, but the idea of either...

Would Vicky wear armor, if she was here? Her sister had her forcefield, but it wasn't invulnerable. Would a demon's claw break it? All it took was one good blow - bullets, yeah, but arrows? Swords? Amy had no idea. Vicky probably didn't either - not exactly something anyone had tested.

Her sister would probably assume she was safe, until she wasn't. She'd been reckless about guns until -

Amy closed one hand into a fist and dug fingernails into the base of her palm, letting the sharp, sudden pain force herself back to where she was, away from the mall, away from the -

Vicky's fine. She's fine. She's still in the Bay and she's - she's fine. And when this is all done, somehow, some way, I'm going to find a way back home and see her again.

"I'm going to see Vicky again," she told herself under her breath.

"If it is possible, I will do what I can to see you reunited with your family, when the Breach is closed," Cassandra assured her again, her tone gentler all of a sudden.

"I believed you the first time." Amy said. "Just... not sure I believe myself." No one but Professor Haywire probably really had the first idea how punching a hole to another Earth worked, and there weren't even Tinkers here. Could magic even -

No. No.

She'd see her sister again. She had to hold onto that.

Cassandra didn't seem to know what to say to that, so she reached out and put a hand on Amy's shoulder for a moment. Amy almost shrugged it off, but then she just let it stay there, before Cassandra stepped back and Amy finished off her water.

"Having a fully fitted set of armor made for you will take time, but picking one that we already have that will be... good enough for the moment will be a simpler prospect." Cassandra explained, "If you are not going to be seeking out the thick of the fighting, we merely need something that will be enough to stop an attack from killing you, rather than something that will let you take hits and keep fighting."

"I don't want to be anywhere near fighting." Amy repeated the sentiment, it felt like for the thousandth time, probably was more like the 4th. "I never wanted powers because I thought I'd have to do the fighting, be part of all that... and then I got healing."

"Which means you do not have to fight. And I will not force you to now." Cassandra said. "I would not force those who do not want to fight, who do not know how, to fight. If there was any choice in the matter, I'd seek to keep you as far from potential fights as possible."

"But there's demons at the rifts," Amy sighed. "Okay. Let's get this over with. The sooner we get this done the sooner we can get the running done."

The armor fitting proved to be... annoying. It reminded her of one of the many reasons she'd insisted on her robes as her costume, despite her sister's insistence and Aunt Sarah's annoyance. Carol had been the only one to not pressure her on it, even told Vicky to stop pressuring her after Vicky tried for the 4th time.

She'd wanted the robes for about a million reasons - the hood, the way it swallowed her up, the way it didn't draw attention to the fact that she was the plain jane mousy little girl compared to her family...

But one advantage was there was zero need for a complex fitting or measuring or anything. The people that New Wave worked with for their form-fitting bodysuit costumes, and so forth, were professional tailors, and that meant extensive fittings. Amy had just a few measurements and then was pretty much free to just take whatever.

The armor fitting was measurements, and trying armor on her, but in the end, she was given a suit of armor made from 'boiled leather' - some sort of hard version of leather - hard enough it almost felt like knocking against wood when she rapped her knuckles against it. A chestpiece that was more two pieces that you tied together to hold around the sides, and some army and leg pieces - the armor guy, a bald man with an impressive moustache named Harrit had called them something else, but that's what they were.

"Seeker Pentaghast says this is the first armor you've ever worn," Harrit said as he manually adjusted the armor on her legs, crouched next to her. "So I'll tell you what I'd tell some fancy idiot Arl's son buying his first suit: Armor doesn't mean you never get hurt. It blunts attacks, if you're lucky, and makes even blows that get through don't penetrate, but," he rapped his knuckles against the armor on Amy's chest, "this won't stop an arrow, if it's got a good tip and the archer knows what's he's doing. But it will mean the arrow probably just goes an inch or two into you."

"Because that's just fine too, to get a little shot," Amy muttered, even though she knew there was a difference. She'd never healed anyone shot with an arrow, but she had healed more bullet and knife wounds than she could have even tried to count, and a bullet that didn't penetrate very far because the person was wearing some kind of armor (or, in one case, got shot through a book that happened to be in the inside pocket of his coat, which slowed the bullet down enough to make it do less damage when it hit his body) did a lot less damage.

Same with a knife wound if it just didn't get as far into the body.

"Could take this armor off, shoot you and see if you'd like to try getting shot wearing the armor instead?" Harrit proposed. "Just don't go being an idiot, chosen by Andraste or not, you're not invincible."

"I'm not fucking chosen by the Maker or Andraste or Jesus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster or anything else!" Amy snapped.

"But you are the only one who can close the Breach, so you still need to take care," Cassandra cut in before Harrit could say anything, shooting him a look. The bald man shrugged and stepped back.

Cassandra directed her to walk around next to the forges - there were a few, as well as anvils - and for to get a feel for the weight of it. She could feel the weight of armor on her body, it wasn't light or anything, but it had felt heavier in her hands than like, on her body. And she didn't feel like it would do much to... make it hard for her to move, or anything.

So after a few more alterations to the fit of the armor, and some instructions on how to take care of the armor that Amy only really grasped half of, they were off, Amy still wearing the stuff, throwing her robes back on, moving out past an area with a bunch of tents, and soldiers sparing with each other, or against wooden dummies, archers shooting at targets off to the side.

Walking in the armor was... okay.

As she found out about minutes later, running in it was not.

Gasping for breath, Amy stopped, bending over, hands on her knees.

"Jesus fucking Christ, I hate this so much," Amy had only been able to actually keep up a run for what couldn't even be a minute. Jogging at a slower pace she could do better, but that still made her legs protest and she wanted to just...

"You managed better than this on the way to the Breach," Cassandra scolded. "You clearly can do better."

Amy bit back her immediate response, seething a little at Cassandra's words, as if this was remotely the same situation.

"What exactly is the point here?" Amy finally said. "Like, apart from making me suffer." She felt a little grateful for the chill mountain cold air - she was starting to sweat under the armor and her robes but at least she wasn't doing this somewhere warm or sunny.

"The point, Amy, is to build your endurance. Reports are still coming in, but there appear to be smaller rifts all over the lands on either side of the Frostback mountains, and likely further afield."

"Then shouldn't we just focus on walking and jogging and stuff? I'm not going to be running everywhere!" Amy could hear the whining in her voice, but... she didn't even care. She was entitled to fucking whine at this point, after everything.

Cassandra inhaled sharply, a long breath through her nose, and then she shook her head, "Variable speeds are useful for effectively training your endurance," she explained. "Let's focus on walking fast for this next stretch,"
They were doing circuits around the village of Haven and the area that the spillover of soldiers and scouts and who knew what else living in tents had taken up. Amy's legs were protesting already, but -

A minute or whatever of silence, save for her own breathing as they moved, and then:

"Besides," Cassandra added as she slowed down to match Amy's best attempt at 'walking fast', "if a demon does break past the rest of us when you're close to a rift, you will want to be able to run for as long as you can."

Amy looked at Cassandra, taking a moment to catch her breath and, "Is that another joke or something?" Like, it was true, but it almost felt like Cassandra was trying to be funny in the way she said it.

"It's simple reality," Cassandra said. "I do not understand how you can be so unused to moving quickly. Did you ride a horse or a wagon everywhere when you needed to move quickly?"

"Last time I had to deal with horses was like four years ago, before my Aunt gave up on any of the kids liking riding as much as she did," Amy said, taking a few breaths between words - she wasn't out of breath, but forcing herself to walk as quickly as she could did mean she was breathing faster and shallower than usual, and talking while she did that was -

Fuck my life. Why am I doing this? I hate this! Amy bit back the whining. She knew this was important, and she - she didn't want to be unable to run from a demon if one tried to come at her again. She knew that if they were going to have to trek all over the fucking world to close rifts...

"Slow down" Casandra said after another minute, and Amy returned to a much more... normal walk. "There is much progress you will need to make," she added.

"Feel free to continue to list my failures and inadequacies." Amy muttered. "I know I'm not in shape. That's why I'm even doing this."

"And the fact that you are is good," Cassandra agreed. "But your stamina for moving quickly over long distances needs much work."

"So I can expect morning runs and walks and jogs and stuff to be a regular thing then?" Amy grimaced. "My sister would be fucking laughing if she could see me now."

"What would she find amusing about these circumstances?"

"She's always been on me to exercise, take fitness more seriously." Amy explained. "Aunt Sarah only cared that we weren't fat, but Vicky suggested I go running, since I didn't want to spar or train for fighting." Amy let out a long breath. "Not that I wouldn't take her saying she was right for the next year if it meant I could see her right now." She muttered. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath.

I need to stop - I can't keep focusing on how much I miss Vicky. She did. She wasn't going to stop missing her. Not having her sister around was an open wound that was never going to heal until she got home, until she saw Victoria again. But she couldn't - she had to -

She had to try to focus on the problems in front of her. That's what Vicky would do. That's what a hero had to do. She wasn't a hero, she never would be, never could be, but -

She still had to do her best. If she stopped trying, if she -

Well, I just can't stop.

One more deep breath, and then Amy started jogging again, trying to push past the ache in her legs and trying to manage her breathing -

I have to do this. I have to do what I need to do to close the Breach. That or die trying. There really was no other choice.

But at the rate this leg day thing is going, I'm probably going to die trying.

She certainly felt like dying would be the better option when she was finally done. Just a little.

---

Author's Note: Also, really not totally happy with the last parts of the chapter - the fitting and the 'leg day' stuff fought me a bit, and the chapter was proving to be longer than I'd really aimed for (and was at risk of setting back my entire pacing for this fic, taking longer than it should). So I breezed over some bits. I definitely worked on it enough to consider it 'good enough' and hopefully if you've made it this far you've enjoyed the other parts, so I just hope the last part was acceptable enough.

 

[Alarnis]

All this suffering is good for you, Amy. Suffer now so you don't suffer later.