America sighed.
What a mess.
Eli was alone, standing just far enough away that he could likely bask in the silence this place provided, head down and staring at nothing at all.
"Eli?"
He perked up, turning his head back to stare at her.
She waved half-heartedly "Hi."
His grin was equally weak. "Hi."
"I wouldn't want to be alone in a place like this." She gestured to the vast emptiness that surrounded them. "Feels like you could get lost here forever."
"Possibly?" He shrugged. "I'm still not sure what this place
is exactly. Infinite void? Finite void? Something in between?"
"Does it really matter?"
Because Stephen had pulled her aside the moment the Other Strange's back was turned to them and gave her the cliff-notes version of what exactly his counterpart had done.
Frankly, she didn't care what this universe was now.
Just what it had been, and how, if Stephen was to be believed, arrogance and desperation had unmade it.
She hated how deeply she understood that last feeling.
"I suppose it doesn't." He shrugged again before quirking an eyebrow. "Come to try and talk me out of it?"
"That's more Peter's job." She pointed back in the direction she came from. "I think he's still yelling at the Strange."
"Which one?"
"Both."
This time his smile was more genuine. "That's my boy."
She snorted and he mirrored the action, and they were both chuckling quietly. The noise died quickly in the unnatural void, but it brought with it a reprieve to everything that she was quite grateful for.
At some point they started walking, side by side as they drifted through their own thoughts.
"Not that I don't appreciate the company." He finally spoke as rolled his shoulders in a stretching motion, wincing as the movement pulled at sore muscles, "But why exactly did you follow me here?"
"Like I said. It doesn't seem like the kind of place someone should be alone in. Also, I was curious."
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Anodite?"
"Ah."
"Yes, ah." She gently nudged him with her elbow. "Alien from another universe?"
"Sort of?" He ran a hand through his hair. "It's pretty out there, and I don't understand it myself. And I don't mean that in the sense of 'It's really complicated and it would take a while to explain
', I mean that in the sense of 'I don't understand how it's
remotely possible or what it means for me in general'."
Oh
.
"If you don't want to talk about it, you don't-"
"No, no, it's fine." He nudged her back. "You told us your story, it's only fair I tell you mine."
For a moment, he seemed to hesitate.
"I was born and raised in a world that was
a lot more mundane than this one. No incredibly advanced technology, no superheroes, and alien invasions, no magic." He laughed at the look on her face. "No, really. The stuff that I can do is a recent addition, and I was as human as they come back then. I grew up in a middle-class family, in a small neighbourhood with nothing fantastic or out of the ordinary to shake up my life. Definitely nothing like what I've seen in the last few months . I had a good childhood, a good education and a good university lined up for me when I graduated high school, the works. A whole normal life planned out for me."
Again, he hesitated.
"And then one day, I was just...here."
She blinked.
"What?"
"Expecting something more flashy?" He shook his head. "Nope. The last thing I remember was going to bed, and then the next thing I know - poof! I'm waking up in a grimy alley in Manhattan, butt-naked and without a thing to my name. Except not quite."
His eyes began to glow purple, and he raised a hand that radiated the same mesmerising light.
It was easy to look at, beautiful even.
"I thought I was going crazy, and not because I was living in a world where people could turn into giant green rage monsters or where gods of thunde
r walked the Earth like everybody else." He shook his head ruefully. "No, I thought I was losing it because as much as I remember my life as Elias Cauley, undergraduate student to-be? I also kept getting flashes of a whole life lived on Anodyne."
She blinked in confusion, because what?
"Anodyne?"
"The home planet of the Anodites, also in another universe if you were wondering." Her eyes widened. "Yeah. Insane, right? Unbelievable? Imagine how I felt. Any moment I'd be walking down the street and just living life day-to day, and all of a sudden, bam
! I remember learning to fly for the first time. Flying, America, when I grew up knowing that kind of thing was impossible. "
He sounded thrilled, excited.
And just a tad hysterical.
"It's not just the big, generic things either. I remember people, vaguely, who I know I've never met. No names, but I can remember little bits of conversation, advice on how to use my powers, little pieces that helped me figure out how to call up my mana in the first place. They're scattered, and there are a million human memories for every Anodite one, but they're undoubtedly there."
"I..." She shrugged helplessly, disbelief at the fantastical story repressed by the unbelievable nature of her own life. "Anything is possible, but it is
pretty out there. Are you sure you weren't just..."
She didn't even know what to say.
"Imagining it? My own brain playing tricks on me?" He didn't seem upset at the suggestion, which she was grateful for. "I guess it's always a chance, but there's stuff that I know that make the chance next to non-existent . No, I went to sleep as a human being and I woke up as an alien and that's that."
He grimaced suddenly. "Can we talk about something else? I don't want to go on about this any longer."
She floundered at the abrupt change of pace.
(That wasn't something you just tossed out there and just abandoned on a whim,
damn it!)
But she wasn't one to press the point, and it would have been a
dick move regardless.
So she settled for something just as relevant but less sensitive.
"Are you ready for the fight?"
Less sensitive because they all pretty much had an equal chance of dying.
Eli had them beat on who was likely to die first, and he probably knew it too if his quiet and slightly hollow laughter chuckle was any indicator.
"Ready as I can be, I guess. Has Edge-lord Supreme figured out how to send us back yet?"
"Edge-Lor-?" It took effort to keep her lips from twitching as she shook her head."I think that's the one part he does have figured out. He's with Wong and our Strange right now, working in that binding...matrix thingy. We'll leave the second they're ready."
"Thats good to hear."
There was another pause, and she could feel the previous tension slipping back between the crack this conversation had made in the silent solitude.
Abruptly, a surge of guilt began to eat away at her.
"Eli, you don't have to do this." He looked almost amused as she put a hand on his shoulder and rushed on ahead. "We have two Strange's and a Sorcerer Supreme to boot, we can find another solution -"
"No, we can't." The reply was gentle. "Chthon's probably already tearing Wubdagore down as we speak. The apocalypse has literally already begun."
He shook his head.
"There's no time
, America, and I'm not scared of what might happen to me. Not when the alternative is so much worse. I came into this to save
one person, and now I'm in a prime position to save
billions. This isn't a debate. It's not even a
question."
...
Damn it.
"Well," She tried for a smirk but what came out was closer to a grimace than anything else. "Super-heroes and their morality, I guess."
"Oh, I'm more of a superhero in progress I think." he chuckled. "I would know, given that I live with the real deal."
"Peter?"
"You didn't know? I thought the blue and red spandex was a dead giveaway."
"I been to some weird universes, Cauley. Spandex isn't always an indicator of heroes."
"Well then, Miss Chavez. Let me regale you with the epic saga of Spider-man and his battles with The Vulture, the Mad Titan, and Mysterio."
She blinked.
"The hell kind of name is Mysterio?"
"The name of an
asshole who lived the last years of his life in
desperate need of being punched right in the dick."
...
"It is done"
Wong's grave words shattered the silence and attracted both of their attention.
Stephen sucked in a deep breath as he beheld the completed runic array laid out before them.
It was, in fact, done
And now it begins, he thought grimly
"I-" Wong shook his head with a heavy, world-weary sigh. "I will fetch the children."
Stephen watched his old friend amble off with a heavy heart, Wing's pain radiating off of him in almost visible waves.
He knew the feeling all too well.
Wong was a strong man, a
good man.
But to watch your comrades be slaughtered?
To watch your students and allies break for you, and be reduced to sending children to their almost certain deaths just to have a ghost of a chance?
He…well...
Wong was a good man, but good did not always mean unbreakable.
It seldom ever did, really
.
**True. Surprisingly insightful, coming from us.**
It took him a moment to realize that the thought was not him, another to realize where it was coming from, and then fury lanced through his thoughts.
"Get out of my head!"
As always, his counterpart seemed more amused than anything, stepping out of seemingly nowhere and looking him down on him.
"As you wish."
As always, his counterpart seemed more amused than anything, stepping out of seemingly nowhere and looking him down at him with demeaning grace.
It was infuriating, and made all the worse by the knowledge that this ...
perversion of himself could kill them all in the blink of an eye.
"What do you want?" He asked sharply in a low tone, Wong's absence finally giving him the chance to speak without watching his words "What exactly do you get out of all of this? Out of helping us-"
"I'm helping them, not you. And I'm doing this to save an entire world from destruction. Pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?"
"Not when it comes to you. Not after what you did."
He knew that he could be driven. That he could forsake caution for the sake of achieving a goal. But what this monster had done went far beyond that and he despised him for it.
Other Strange actually laughed. "And there you go again! Do you honestly believe that you can condemn me any more than I can condemn myself?"
"I-"
"Because you
can't. This may be hard to hear, but your opinion is irrelevant, Stephen. And I hate you every bit as much as you hate me."
"I didn't kill an entire universe for the sake of my own desires!"
"Desire? Is that why you think I did it?" His counterpart's eyes blazed with orange fire! "You think shallow desire is what motivated me to become
this?"
Stephen said nothing, did nothing, save for backing away slightly and glaring with furious unease as the monster's face twisted, inhuman features writhing and bubbled in an utterly nauseating display.
"I did it for
love. Christine was
everything to me, and for the longest time, I treated her like shit. I didn't even know how much I loved her until I held her
broken body in my hands."
Stephen opened his mouth, only to close it again. A heaviness that had nothing to do with magic pulled at his heart, a painful ringing in his ears as he bit down his retort and listened to the hated tale for the second time in less than a day.
But this time was different.
No false pride.
No arrogance.
Just the shattered husk of a terribly familiar man.
"I tried
everything. I used the time stone and I tried every damn trick in the book. Every myth, rumor, and legend I jumped on like a
goddamned bloodhound, and it was all for nothing. I once told you I had thousands of years of experience on you. The truth is? It's more like hundreds of thousands, if not
millions." He shook his head, monstrous features warping, as if desperate to tear their way free. "I stopped counting long, long ago. All that time was devoted to the one singular purpose of bringing her back. And I still
failed."
He laughed then, a crackling, demented noise that echoed in Stephen's very soul and made him want to cringe and back away at how
wrong it was.
"You may have lost her, Stephen, but at least she was still
alive.
Happy. I didn't even have that. So I lost my mind for the nth time, and I did the unforgivable. Before that, I had gotten so damn used to taking risks for the sole purpose of proving myself right, and I decided then that the rules didn't matter, that they didn't
apply to someone like me
. I was the
Sorcerer Supreme, after all. And look where we are now!"
He
roared as he spread his arms, as if trying to grab hold of the lonely oblivion that was his home.
"It's almost funny, you know? My stupidity cost me time with Christine, and because I refused to learn from my lesson, it cost me everything else."
God.
Stephen shook his head, nausea twisting his mind and nearly breaking his control as bile crawled up his throat.
"Enough.
Enough. Why are you even telling me any of this!?"
"Because
I refused to learn. Not until it was too damn late for anything and everything that mattered. But you?"
His counterpart's face morphed back into humanity, eyes boring into his own.
"You still have that chance."
Stephen was already shaking his head.
"I don't
need that chance. I'm nothing like you, I would never-"
"For once in your life, Stephen,
cut the bullshit."
His mouth clamped shut.
"I'm not Stephen Strange anymore. Not really. There's only so much arcane power you can pour into a human soul before it either
breaks or becomes something else entirely
." The other shook his head. "But before that? I've been inside your mind, Stephen, so I can tell you with absolute confidence that you and I were almost fucking identical."
Stephen was once more lost for words.
"We lived the same life, bar a few miniscule differences. Experienced the same things mostly. Our thought process was almost exactly alike. Granted, you matured a little faster than I did, your Infinity War and the choices you had to make forcing you to strive to be better, but the potential to do what I did? To let your
arrogance and need rule you and damn the rest of the world? That's still in there, if only just."
"That's
not true-"
"We both know it
is. There's no point denying it, I
literally know you better than you know yourself. That's why I hate you, as unreasonable as that sounds. Because there is not one person in all of creation that I despise more deeply than the man I used to be, and between the two of you? I can count the differences on one fucking hand."
"
Go to hell!"
Because what else could he say.
"Already?" The counterpart laughed. "You haven't even heard the best bit!"
And then he looked down, straight at Stephen's new arm.
The same arm that he'd been desperately avoiding even thinking about.
The arm that…
That…
Oh no.
"What did you
do?!"
"Don't worry, that wasn't meant to imply that I'd cursed it, as satifying as that would have been. It's just an arm." Other Strange smiled. "Uru. Excellent for spell-casting, and a definite improvement in terms of combat. But it isn't organic, and you'll never be able to pretend that it is."
…
What?
"You did this deliberately, didn't you? As some kind of insult?"
His tone betrayed the incredulity he felt at the sheer pettiness of it all.
"Insult? You're thinking with that insufferable ego again, Stephen. I gave you a
reminder. Uru is excellent for spell-casting, but that particular variant resists alterations to its nature like nothing else. Most glamour spells will wash right off, and the few that don't will break the moments you cast magic of an opposing nature. You will never disguise that arm. You will never forget you have it. And every time you look at it? You will remember this
very moment, right here. The day that you saw what you could have been, and what you must never, ever let yourself become."
…
He... he didn't...
Stephen looked away.
"Hell of a way to prove a point."
"Well, I
am a narcissist. I hold myself to a higher standard."
"That's not how narcissism works, you
ass."
"Go fuck yourself, Stephen"
…
Heh.
It started with a snort.
Then another.
And another.
And soon enough?
The empty void with filled with the sound of hysterical laughter, a wave of bubbling noise breaking the silence as two very damaged men who had no other way to express their grief laughed themselves to tears.
It was all so hilariously
fucked in the end.
"Heh. You didn't have to give me this, you know that? I hate you just the same as you do me." Stephen shook his head.
"I don't need the motivation to strive never to
be you."
"Maybe not." A shrug "But I prefer to be thorough. Like I said, the differences are there. Not enough to reassure me, of course, but I'm self aware enough to admit that pretty much nothing would. You've suffered, Stephen, in a way that I never did. There's potential to you, potential to be better than the Stephen Strange I once was, and I'm feeling optimistic enough to give you a chance."
The implication was not lost on him.
"And if the potential wasn't there?"
Other Strange smiled.
"Do you
really need me to spell it out for you?"
He'd never been so close to death and so far from it at the same time.
It was almost funny.
"I suppose not. There's nothing left to say, I take it?"
"I have nothing else to say to you."
"Then we're done here. I'll go help Wong round up the super-children."
"You do that, Stephen.
You do that."
As he walked away, Stephen realized he didn't need magic to know that the Other's eyes were following his every movement.
He didn't turn around.
I will never be that.
No matter the cost.
...
Strange Supreme watched his alternate walk off in the rough direction Wong had taken and sighed lowly.
"Are you going to come out now, brat?"
For a moment, there was silence.
Then Peter Parker slid into his line of sight, a sheepish expression crossing his features.
"Sorry. I had a few questions and I didn't want to interrupt."
"So you decided to eavesdrop instead?"
"I can't really help it. Superpowers and all that. Most people see me sticking to walls and lifting cars and they forget that the whole spider shtick comes with an enhanced sensory package too. Sight, smell, hearing, all of it is dialed up to eleven. In a place as quiet as this, it's actually harder not to listen in to your conversation. Sorry."
"Handy, but not to my interest." He turned around, glad for the conversation regardless.
The screaming of the
thousands in his soul was much easier to tune out with a good distraction than not, and he craved the moment peace even if he knew with certainty that he didn't deserve it.
That he would
never deserve it.
"What can I do for you, kid? If this is about your friend and his possible suicide mission, I will remind you that he agreed-"
"It's not that." He shook his head. "I mean, I don't like it, but we don't have much of a choice, and if the last few months have taught me anything It's that Eli will do what Eli tends to do."
He raised an eyebrow. "What does Eli tend to do?"
The kid grinned. "Whatever he wants. And when he's not giving me headaches? That strategy works out pretty well. That's how we got this sweet new apartment in New-York. But you probably don't care about that."
"No, I don't."
"Yeah, well, the point is, I have faith that my friend will pull through. That's not why I'm here now."
"The enlighten me, Parker. What is it you want?"
"You're not a monster, Dr. Strange."
...
What?
"Excuse me?"
Peter smiled.
"I know it's not my place, right? But I heard everything you said, and while I admit most of the magic talk went right over my head, I can get a general idea. You lost someone you love, doctor, and you did something stupid and it ruined everything. I've been there too. You've seen my mind, so you probably know what I'm talking about."
Oh, this was ridiculous.
"Parker, our situations couldn't be
more different. Both in scope," He gestured to the empty void that still burned him to look at, even after all this time "And in culpability. You were a child, and you sacrificed everything you had to undo your mistake, while I-"
"Was someone who had pretty much everything they loved torn taken from them." Peter looked down. "Like I said. I know the feeling."
No.
No, he was
not taking this from a
child.
"That's
naive of you."
He spat the words for lack of anything else to say.
He knew this kid.
He'd seen his mind, had seen the good in him, and to hear this from him?
This was doing things to his emotions he didn't like.
(Why did it suddenly hurt that much more?)
"Yeah, it probably is. And, to be honest? I have
no idea why I'm even saying this, not really." Peter raised his head and Strange almost recoiled, the assurance in those eyes making him feel things
he did not want to feel. "I just wanted you to know that... you did a monstrous thing... but your motivation was the most human thing
imaginable, and the fact that your still here, regretting it even now?"
He shook his head.
"You're not a monster, doctor. Maybe you're not a hero, but you're not a monster. And I think that where it counts? You're still every bit as
human as the rest of us. I just think you should know that."
Then he turned and began to walk away.
A strange instinct seized him then, and he was spitting out the words almost unwillingly.
"The human I was put in motion and personally saw to the absolute destruction of his
entire universe. Untold
quintillions dead in an instant. Do you honestly believe that me still being him, or anything like him, is in any way a
good thing?"
Peter Parker,
Spider-man, turned back to him with a thoughtful expression across his features.
"I believe that the human in you is why you're helping us save our world. A world you have nothing to do with, no stake in whatsoever. You gave us a fighting chance, and something tells me that wouldn't hesitate to help others if it came down to it, even at cost to yourself. Wether it's guilt or grief or something else that's motivating you is irrelevant. The facts are that you made a terrible, terrible mistake that you can't undo, but even now you're going above and beyond to do the right thing in spite of the past."
He shrugged.
"If you're asking me whether or not acknowledging the part of you that makes that possible is a good thing? I'd say yes, any day of the week, but honestly? After everything? I think that's for you and you alone to decide."
Then he smiled, full of hope and faith strong enough to conquer the unstoppable and disappeared in the shadows.
"Now let's go save the world."
...
As always, leave your comments and ideas and if you don't like it, please be courteous.