Catgirl Isekai Gone Wrong

[HiddenMaster]

Art by Gab0o0

Chapter One: The Obligatory Reincarnation Fairy is more Muscular than Expected

When I died, I expected there to be less fire. Some might think flames being my painful end was symbolic of what awaited me in certain Abrahamic religions based on my pornographic choices, but I'd always thought that was unfair. Alas, I digress and am really trying not to think of the real issue at hand: fire and its intimate relationship with my body.

Then, between one painful second and eternity, it was over. The agony dissipated, even if its memory lingered as I slowly realized I was not, in fact, on fire.

I blinked. I was definitely not where I was a moment before. For one, there was much less burning apartment building and many more golden flowers. In fact, there were flowers as far as the horizon covering the hills like a radiant blanket of sunlight.

"Ya done screaming, then?" a gruff voice asked. I looked around, whipping back and forth dumbly before I spotted the speaker.

My mind briefly short circuited as I stared.

It was a man. However, this man was the most ripped being I had ever fucking seen. His muscles had muscles that won awards in powerlifting competitions. Even his neck looked as if it was consumed by raw muscle mass long ago. He made the gym bros I'd known in life look like rank amateurs at best. He was shirtless, wore biker jeans, had close cut red hair, and possessed a gold nose ring.

He was also about six inches tall, hovering in the air, and had the prettiest set of rainbow dragonfly wings I'd ever seen on his back.

A thousand questions and thoughts popped into my mind. The stupid one came out first. Naturally.

"You're a fairy!" I oozed eloquence.

"Figured that out yourself, did ya?" He folded his arms and looked uniquely unimpressed.

"But you are," I said. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I see a supernatural creature for the first time in my life, and I blurt the obvious twice?

"Okay, clearly, you're out of fucking sorts. So, question, human, you know what's happened or do I need to give the talk?"

His question took me aback as my brain had been pondering fairies and my own stupidity, but then I had a sudden existential crisis as the previous few minutes rushed back to me; the pain of searing flames, the sudden cutoff when agony turned to numbness as nerves shriveled and died. Yet, the single worst part of it that amounted to more revulsion than anything I have ever experienced was the realization that the acrid scent of burnt meat wafting around was me.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" I stated. The words, said so softly, nonetheless carried an enormous weight that made me slump. If there'd been a chair I'd have fallen into it. Wait, scratch that: I was on the ground. At least I'd landed on my knees.

"Ya know, alright," the fairy said, sounding sympathetic. "Happens to us all. Happened to ya sooner than most."

I spent some time staring at the flowers beneath me, processing that I was dead. "So… what, uh, happened? I remember fire…"

The fairy shrugged. "The obvious. Ran into a burning building to try and save someone, got trapped, your shirt caught fire, then your hair, you stumbled, then a falling beam brained ya."

I couldn't slump anymore, but hearing the words so nonchalantly confirming what I remembered sucked what energy I had left right out of me.

"Did I," I asked, voice small. "Did I save anyone?"

"Nah, not really. Your heart was in the right place, but everyone was out already. The screaming you heard was an ancient Furby going ballistic."

"I…really?" I spoke. I pretended it wasn't a squeak or that my voice broke for the first time in years.

"Yup. Furbies kill way more people than you'd expect, malicious bastards," Mr. Muscles said.

"Don't you mean accidentally cause deaths?" I asked. I had to have misheard him.

"No." His words were resolute and final.

I had nothing I could say to that. I simply stared at him, the ground, the sky, and the flowers for a long minute before I came to a conclusion. "This sucks."

Mr. Muscles nodded. I didn't say anything else, but honestly, what was there to say? I died for nothing. A part of me was pissed, albeit I wasn't sure at whom I was angry. The Uber for canceling on me, meaning I had to walk home and stumbled on the burning building? Me, for running into the apartment like the hero I wasn't? The owner of that demented Furby who made me think someone was still in there? Mr. Muscles here for being a bit blunt?


Eventually, I recovered enough to speak. Recovery was a strong word for the mental state I was in, but I'd always coped with inane questions. "So, gotta ask. Wasn't expecting a fairy," I said.

At this, Mr. Muscles shrugged, his oiled biceps flexing to catch the light and remind me once again that the most fucking ripped being I'd ever seen was a six-inch-tall fairy. "My goddess was tied up dealing with some overeager soul reaper with a truck, and I owed a favor so I'm taking care of some of her work. It's mostly a pain in my ass, but at least you're not like the other half dozen I've dealt with."

Part of me really wanted to ask, but I didn't. Humans were weird. He could have had people try to swat him, pet him, gush over him, or proposition him. Add in how God damned muscular he was, and I was sure this fairy had gotten weird reactions. Another thought occurred to me, and I didn't bother holding it back. "Have something against shirts?" I asked.

"They restrain my power," Mr. Muscles said. He flexed, muscles rippling as the sun suddenly glinted off his oiled and tanned skin perfectly to show off. Every last bird in the nearby hills burst into song that sounded disturbingly like Latin while the golden flowers around spontaneously bloomed and shined as if graced with the sun's dazzling power except it was this fucking fairy's pecs. "Damn I'm good," he said, letting his entire chest ripple.

I once again had absolutely no coherent way to respond to that, so I didn't.

"So, um, my afterlife?" I asked, voice wavering as I changed the subject from whatever that was.

"Sorta. See, your karma was meh. Not too bad, not too good either. Probably good for some sort of purgatory and long-ass period of self-reflection before the next step, but you did go out selflessly with no thought of personal gain. You tried, and even if it was pointless, it pushed your karma past a tipping point. Congratulations, you earned a reward," the Schwarzenegger fairy said. "You can go onto the afterlife, or reincarnate. Your choice."

The words rocked me. I dismissed the first almost immediately. The way he spoke of the afterlife made it seem final. It was little more than a gut feeling, but I wasn't ready for whatever was at the end of that road. I'd rather try my hand at this whole being alive thing. At least it would be somewhat more familiar. "Are there any limitations here?"

"Nah, not really. Infinite realities to toss ya at. Can't throw you back into your own world and won't make you into a walking god or anything, but I could adjust you well enough. So, what'll it be? Born rich and famous? World full of love and lust? Wanna be a hero? How about-"

"Catgirls," I said. It was never really a question.

There was a pause.

"Gonna have to elaborate on that, son." Mr. Muscles said.

I had to shut up. I simply had to close my mouth and change the subject. Perhaps tea making, or coffee.

I opened my mouth.

"I want to reincarnate in a place where there's beautiful, bodacious, lovable catgirls. Tall catgirls, short catgirls, busty catgirls, thicc catgirls, smart catgirls, nerdy catgirls, fierce catgirls, weird catgirls, I want them all. I want there to be catgirls as far as the eye can see. All catgirls, all the time."

God damn it.

There was a pause.

"This is a fetish thing, isn't it?" Mr. Muscles asked.

I couldn't meet his eyes.

He sighed. "Sure, this is what you want?"

"Yes? Why? Is there a problem with it?" I asked, concerned.

"Nah, just thinking… well, not my place to say, but what the heck, I can work with this. Might even do some good?" he said. "Also, son, you really should work on your wording. Maybe next time, eh?"

Alarm bells went off in my head. I would have to choose my next question well.

"What would be your thing?" I blurted out, focusing on the exact wrong thing. I needed to work on impulse control.

"Giant women," he said simply. Before I could comment he slapped his hands together with a surprisingly loud slam. "Well, you have made your choice. Don't say I didn't warn ya," he said. He then did something that made me wonder if I made a mistake.

He smirked. I then realized, or more accurately, remembered, I was dealing with a fairy. A member of the Fae. The rippling muscles had distracted me, but this was still a fucking fairy handling my reincarnation.

"Wait!" I tried to say. I failed as a nearby sunflower turned, grew a thousand times its normal size, head split in half with squirming teeth, and ate me. All went dark before my world exploded in radiance.

To describe what happened was quite impossible, as I didn't have the vocabulary. Hell, I could barely conceptualize what was occurring to me as I experienced it.

I tasted sound and heard the rainbow while also running backwards doing a backstroke in non-Newtonian pudding. It was like I'd managed to end up in someone else's drug-induced memory, as nothing was clearly mine, and yet paradoxically it was all familiar. I thought I saw my dad punching a leprechaun, but I was not certain, as my senses felt like half melted butter-pecan ice cream.

…

Gradually, the radiance receded, the feeling of ice cream dissipated, and all I could experience was darkness and soft warmth.

I tried to open my eyes, but my eyes didn't want to respond. I tried raising an arm but besides a faint wiggle I couldn't even move, and on top of that, everything felt wrong. Even thinking was… off, like the one time I'd gotten drunk on a high-school friend's stolen six pack. Every thought, every attempt at action, was slowed, sluggish, and I still couldn't see.

I tried calling out into the darkness. I managed some warbling that sounded off to me, but I couldn't figure out why. Everything was just so wrong. Eventually, I thought back to Mr. Muscles and how I got here and thought this might be one of those game worlds? I'd never found that genre too interesting, but maybe…

"System?" I thought, with some trepidation. Nothing happened. "Status?" I tried, to no response. "Inventory?" I asked. Nothing. "Stats? Skills? Map? World?" I shot off these phrases with some urgency, hoping for any response to tell me what was even happening. Nothing worked.

I tried so many things, phrases, meanings, requests, and more. I even tried in what limited Spanish I knew. Finally, with all options exhausted, I tried a simple but fundamental, "Help?" Silence was my only answer.

I was left alone with my sluggish thoughts, unable to even tell what state my body was in. It felt weird and off, yet I couldn't even look at it. My eyes just wouldn't obey, and the world remained dark.

Left with my thoughts, I was forced to think.

…something hot and heavy slammed into my back from above. A maelstrom of pain raced down my back as I fell. I screamed desperately. I flailed, scratched at the floorboards, at anything to keep moving and away from the fires. The realization I couldn't feel my legs anymore just made my panic worse as it exploded like a gibbering animal. Then, my body went oddly cold for the briefest moment as I felt the flames move from the building to my own skin…

I shuddered. I… I had died. With the fairy and the surreal nature of my situation I didn't have to think, but here, now, the realization washed over me like an inevitable tide.

It was over. I hadn't even finished my second year of college.

I wouldn't be able to show my dad my degree. My little cousins would never see their uncle turned favorite babysitter again. I'd never draw that cyberpunk comic I'd always talked about. I'd never find someone to love me and be loved in turn. My friends I'd promised to keep up with, to keep the good times going, would continue without me.

Everyone would continue, just without me.

The only thing left for me in that world was my charred corpse and a funeral.

I was twenty years old when I died.

I shuddered as regret washed over me like a wave of rain.

I'd barely lived.

I cried.

That, at least, I could do right. I let the pain out in tears and sobs. The pains of a lost world, lost friends, lost family, lost potential, a lost lifetime, let out in tears.

Eventually, unknown but strangely warm words pierced through the cage of my own sobs.

"Ná bí buartha, a dhuine bhig."

I couldn't move, I couldn't see, but I could certainly hear. The words were soothing, feminine, and washed over me like a wave of gentle rain. I didn't know what they meant, but they definitely did something. I felt my fears, the panic and sadness gripping me, not disappear but fade in prominence as a sense of safety and comfort overtook them. I tried to see, to listen to the whole song, but I was suddenly exhausted. Consciousness slipped from me, and I was beyond grateful as I fell asleep for the first time in a new world.

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Chapter One Author's note:

This story is…odd, I know. Just getting this first chapter out has been both a joy and a struggle.
Funny enough, it originated out of, believe it or not, annoyance. I came across another catgirl isekai where the guy in said story told the mythical being reincarnating him he wanted a world of all catgirls, and the author didn't follow through with the obvious joke of him being a catgirl.

I initially made this as something of a joke with some friends, but it's slowly been growing. I had ideas for a lot of parody formats here ranging from a one shot that ends with him realizing he is now his own waifu to finding out that there's thousands of other isekais and he's definitely not the hero, but writing it out, I felt there was some potential in dealing with both the comedic side and the emotional side. Most isekai tend to gloss over dying, but as someone who's experienced death of multiple loved ones in life, I think that's a load of BS. I want to explore more of that, alongside an adventure in a new world.

That's the aim, anyway. We'll see where this goes.

I will freely note that I am writing this as an experiment in writing a longer story format, so if it's a bit rough at times, that's why.

That said, I do have Arc 1 mostly complete, coming up to about 50k words, so expect regular updates here, every Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

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Obligatory author plugin because I'd love to write more but society sadly says I need monies to keep living and I've yet to figure out photosynthesis for myself:

Support me on Patreon, Ko Fi, or Subscribe Star. Check them out for advance chapters, too. Or check out my website for links to my other author accounts, contact, socials, etc.

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