Catgirl Isekai Gone Wrong

[HiddenMaster]

Art by Gab0o0

Chapter One: The Obligatory Reincarnation Fairy is more Muscular than Expected

When I died, I expected there to be less fire. Some might think flames being my painful end was symbolic of what awaited me in certain Abrahamic religions based on my pornographic choices, but I'd always thought that was unfair. Alas, I digress and am really trying not to think of the real issue at hand: fire and its intimate relationship with my body.

Then, between one painful second and eternity, it was over. The agony dissipated, even if its memory lingered as I slowly realized I was not, in fact, on fire.

I blinked. I was definitely not where I was a moment before. For one, there was much less burning apartment building and many more golden flowers. In fact, there were flowers as far as the horizon covering the hills like a radiant blanket of sunlight.

"Ya done screaming, then?" a gruff voice asked. I looked around, whipping back and forth dumbly before I spotted the speaker.

My mind briefly short circuited as I stared.

It was a man. However, this man was the most ripped being I had ever fucking seen. His muscles had muscles that won awards in powerlifting competitions. Even his neck looked as if it was consumed by raw muscle mass long ago. He made the gym bros I'd known in life look like rank amateurs at best. He was shirtless, wore biker jeans, had close cut red hair, and possessed a gold nose ring.

He was also about six inches tall, hovering in the air, and had the prettiest set of rainbow dragonfly wings I'd ever seen on his back.

A thousand questions and thoughts popped into my mind. The stupid one came out first. Naturally.

"You're a fairy!" I oozed eloquence.

"Figured that out yourself, did ya?" He folded his arms and looked uniquely unimpressed.

"But you are," I said. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I see a supernatural creature for the first time in my life, and I blurt the obvious twice?

"Okay, clearly, you're out of fucking sorts. So, question, human, you know what's happened or do I need to give the talk?"

His question took me aback as my brain had been pondering fairies and my own stupidity, but then I had a sudden existential crisis as the previous few minutes rushed back to me; the pain of searing flames, the sudden cutoff when agony turned to numbness as nerves shriveled and died. Yet, the single worst part of it that amounted to more revulsion than anything I have ever experienced was the realization that the acrid scent of burnt meat wafting around was me.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" I stated. The words, said so softly, nonetheless carried an enormous weight that made me slump. If there'd been a chair I'd have fallen into it. Wait, scratch that: I was on the ground. At least I'd landed on my knees.

"Ya know, alright," the fairy said, sounding sympathetic. "Happens to us all. Happened to ya sooner than most."

I spent some time staring at the flowers beneath me, processing that I was dead. "So… what, uh, happened? I remember fire…"

The fairy shrugged. "The obvious. Ran into a burning building to try and save someone, got trapped, your shirt caught fire, then your hair, you stumbled, then a falling beam brained ya."

I couldn't slump anymore, but hearing the words so nonchalantly confirming what I remembered sucked what energy I had left right out of me.

"Did I," I asked, voice small. "Did I save anyone?"

"Nah, not really. Your heart was in the right place, but everyone was out already. The screaming you heard was an ancient Furby going ballistic."

"I…really?" I spoke. I pretended it wasn't a squeak or that my voice broke for the first time in years.

"Yup. Furbies kill way more people than you'd expect, malicious bastards," Mr. Muscles said.

"Don't you mean accidentally cause deaths?" I asked. I had to have misheard him.

"No." His words were resolute and final.

I had nothing I could say to that. I simply stared at him, the ground, the sky, and the flowers for a long minute before I came to a conclusion. "This sucks."

Mr. Muscles nodded. I didn't say anything else, but honestly, what was there to say? I died for nothing. A part of me was pissed, albeit I wasn't sure at whom I was angry. The Uber for canceling on me, meaning I had to walk home and stumbled on the burning building? Me, for running into the apartment like the hero I wasn't? The owner of that demented Furby who made me think someone was still in there? Mr. Muscles here for being a bit blunt?


Eventually, I recovered enough to speak. Recovery was a strong word for the mental state I was in, but I'd always coped with inane questions. "So, gotta ask. Wasn't expecting a fairy," I said.

At this, Mr. Muscles shrugged, his oiled biceps flexing to catch the light and remind me once again that the most fucking ripped being I'd ever seen was a six-inch-tall fairy. "My goddess was tied up dealing with some overeager soul reaper with a truck, and I owed a favor so I'm taking care of some of her work. It's mostly a pain in my ass, but at least you're not like the other half dozen I've dealt with."

Part of me really wanted to ask, but I didn't. Humans were weird. He could have had people try to swat him, pet him, gush over him, or proposition him. Add in how God damned muscular he was, and I was sure this fairy had gotten weird reactions. Another thought occurred to me, and I didn't bother holding it back. "Have something against shirts?" I asked.

"They restrain my power," Mr. Muscles said. He flexed, muscles rippling as the sun suddenly glinted off his oiled and tanned skin perfectly to show off. Every last bird in the nearby hills burst into song that sounded disturbingly like Latin while the golden flowers around spontaneously bloomed and shined as if graced with the sun's dazzling power except it was this fucking fairy's pecs. "Damn I'm good," he said, letting his entire chest ripple.

I once again had absolutely no coherent way to respond to that, so I didn't.

"So, um, my afterlife?" I asked, voice wavering as I changed the subject from whatever that was.

"Sorta. See, your karma was meh. Not too bad, not too good either. Probably good for some sort of purgatory and long-ass period of self-reflection before the next step, but you did go out selflessly with no thought of personal gain. You tried, and even if it was pointless, it pushed your karma past a tipping point. Congratulations, you earned a reward," the Schwarzenegger fairy said. "You can go onto the afterlife, or reincarnate. Your choice."

The words rocked me. I dismissed the first almost immediately. The way he spoke of the afterlife made it seem final. It was little more than a gut feeling, but I wasn't ready for whatever was at the end of that road. I'd rather try my hand at this whole being alive thing. At least it would be somewhat more familiar. "Are there any limitations here?"

"Nah, not really. Infinite realities to toss ya at. Can't throw you back into your own world and won't make you into a walking god or anything, but I could adjust you well enough. So, what'll it be? Born rich and famous? World full of love and lust? Wanna be a hero? How about-"

"Catgirls," I said. It was never really a question.

There was a pause.

"Gonna have to elaborate on that, son." Mr. Muscles said.

I had to shut up. I simply had to close my mouth and change the subject. Perhaps tea making, or coffee.

I opened my mouth.

"I want to reincarnate in a place where there's beautiful, bodacious, lovable catgirls. Tall catgirls, short catgirls, busty catgirls, thicc catgirls, smart catgirls, nerdy catgirls, fierce catgirls, weird catgirls, I want them all. I want there to be catgirls as far as the eye can see. All catgirls, all the time."

God damn it.

There was a pause.

"This is a fetish thing, isn't it?" Mr. Muscles asked.

I couldn't meet his eyes.

He sighed. "Sure, this is what you want?"

"Yes? Why? Is there a problem with it?" I asked, concerned.

"Nah, just thinking… well, not my place to say, but what the heck, I can work with this. Might even do some good?" he said. "Also, son, you really should work on your wording. Maybe next time, eh?"

Alarm bells went off in my head. I would have to choose my next question well.

"What would be your thing?" I blurted out, focusing on the exact wrong thing. I needed to work on impulse control.

"Giant women," he said simply. Before I could comment he slapped his hands together with a surprisingly loud slam. "Well, you have made your choice. Don't say I didn't warn ya," he said. He then did something that made me wonder if I made a mistake.

He smirked. I then realized, or more accurately, remembered, I was dealing with a fairy. A member of the Fae. The rippling muscles had distracted me, but this was still a fucking fairy handling my reincarnation.

"Wait!" I tried to say. I failed as a nearby sunflower turned, grew a thousand times its normal size, head split in half with squirming teeth, and ate me. All went dark before my world exploded in radiance.

To describe what happened was quite impossible, as I didn't have the vocabulary. Hell, I could barely conceptualize what was occurring to me as I experienced it.

I tasted sound and heard the rainbow while also running backwards doing a backstroke in non-Newtonian pudding. It was like I'd managed to end up in someone else's drug-induced memory, as nothing was clearly mine, and yet paradoxically it was all familiar. I thought I saw my dad punching a leprechaun, but I was not certain, as my senses felt like half melted butter-pecan ice cream.

…

Gradually, the radiance receded, the feeling of ice cream dissipated, and all I could experience was darkness and soft warmth.

I tried to open my eyes, but my eyes didn't want to respond. I tried raising an arm but besides a faint wiggle I couldn't even move, and on top of that, everything felt wrong. Even thinking was… off, like the one time I'd gotten drunk on a high-school friend's stolen six pack. Every thought, every attempt at action, was slowed, sluggish, and I still couldn't see.

I tried calling out into the darkness. I managed some warbling that sounded off to me, but I couldn't figure out why. Everything was just so wrong. Eventually, I thought back to Mr. Muscles and how I got here and thought this might be one of those game worlds? I'd never found that genre too interesting, but maybe…

"System?" I thought, with some trepidation. Nothing happened. "Status?" I tried, to no response. "Inventory?" I asked. Nothing. "Stats? Skills? Map? World?" I shot off these phrases with some urgency, hoping for any response to tell me what was even happening. Nothing worked.

I tried so many things, phrases, meanings, requests, and more. I even tried in what limited Spanish I knew. Finally, with all options exhausted, I tried a simple but fundamental, "Help?" Silence was my only answer.

I was left alone with my sluggish thoughts, unable to even tell what state my body was in. It felt weird and off, yet I couldn't even look at it. My eyes just wouldn't obey, and the world remained dark.

Left with my thoughts, I was forced to think.

…something hot and heavy slammed into my back from above. A maelstrom of pain raced down my back as I fell. I screamed desperately. I flailed, scratched at the floorboards, at anything to keep moving and away from the fires. The realization I couldn't feel my legs anymore just made my panic worse as it exploded like a gibbering animal. Then, my body went oddly cold for the briefest moment as I felt the flames move from the building to my own skin…

I shuddered. I… I had died. With the fairy and the surreal nature of my situation I didn't have to think, but here, now, the realization washed over me like an inevitable tide.

It was over. I hadn't even finished my second year of college.

I wouldn't be able to show my dad my degree. My little cousins would never see their uncle turned favorite babysitter again. I'd never draw that cyberpunk comic I'd always talked about. I'd never find someone to love me and be loved in turn. My friends I'd promised to keep up with, to keep the good times going, would continue without me.

Everyone would continue, just without me.

The only thing left for me in that world was my charred corpse and a funeral.

I was twenty years old when I died.

I shuddered as regret washed over me like a wave of rain.

I'd barely lived.

I cried.

That, at least, I could do right. I let the pain out in tears and sobs. The pains of a lost world, lost friends, lost family, lost potential, a lost lifetime, let out in tears.

Eventually, unknown but strangely warm words pierced through the cage of my own sobs.

"Ná bí buartha, a dhuine bhig."

I couldn't move, I couldn't see, but I could certainly hear. The words were soothing, feminine, and washed over me like a wave of gentle rain. I didn't know what they meant, but they definitely did something. I felt my fears, the panic and sadness gripping me, not disappear but fade in prominence as a sense of safety and comfort overtook them. I tried to see, to listen to the whole song, but I was suddenly exhausted. Consciousness slipped from me, and I was beyond grateful as I fell asleep for the first time in a new world.

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Chapter One Author's note:

This story is…odd, I know. Just getting this first chapter out has been both a joy and a struggle.
Funny enough, it originated out of, believe it or not, annoyance. I came across another catgirl isekai where the guy in said story told the mythical being reincarnating him he wanted a world of all catgirls, and the author didn't follow through with the obvious joke of him being a catgirl.

I initially made this as something of a joke with some friends, but it's slowly been growing. I had ideas for a lot of parody formats here ranging from a one shot that ends with him realizing he is now his own waifu to finding out that there's thousands of other isekais and he's definitely not the hero, but writing it out, I felt there was some potential in dealing with both the comedic side and the emotional side. Most isekai tend to gloss over dying, but as someone who's experienced death of multiple loved ones in life, I think that's a load of BS. I want to explore more of that, alongside an adventure in a new world.

That's the aim, anyway. We'll see where this goes.

I will freely note that I am writing this as an experiment in writing a longer story format, so if it's a bit rough at times, that's why.

That said, I do have Arc 1 mostly complete, coming up to about 50k words, so expect regular updates here, every Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

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[HiddenMaster]

In retrospect, figuring out I had a tail before I realized my penis was gone probably said something about me.

In my defense, thinking at all was difficult. A haze consistently hung over my thoughts, and I had long periods where I remembered nothing at all, like I had blacked out. Compounding matters further was my eyesight, or lack thereof.

I couldn't see, only hear and feel. I don't think I'd ever considered, seriously, how much I relied on sight for basic comprehension of my environment, but with it gone I found myself sincerely missing it.

I can't say how long this haze lasted, but it gave me a newfound appreciation for what it felt like to be bedridden, blind and helpless. The one thing that broke the haze were the moments when the soothing voice returned to sing to me, but even there, I could barely do anything but focus on the song and then likely black out. This process repeated, again and again.

One day, it ended.

I opened my eyes, and I saw blue. Well, blue and red. I couldn't tell what the blue and red blurs even were, but even that much was an improvement. Seeing anything after so long in the dark was wonderful and made me want to jump up in joy. I settled for wiggling instead, feeling something else wiggling about with me far more actively than my own sluggish limbs. Then before I could figure out what that something even was, a woman appeared in my vision very, mere centimeters from my face. I locked onto her, and I'd practically drank in her features like a man dying of thirst would a glass of ice water in the Sahara.

She seemed so gigantic, leaning down to look at me so intently. She had curly red hair stuck on the precipice of being orange that reminded me of so many flames, bright green eyes that almost seemed to glow with darker green depths, freckles surrounding a sharp nose with two wavy stripes over her cheeks. Otherwise, she had features that made me think of someone… northern? Perhaps most notable of all, she had two red-orange cat ears perched atop her head, each straight up and alert.

That last detail was so strange to see on a real person. Furry appendages on anime characters were a dime a dozen, but to see them, so life-like, was surreal. Hell, they weren't just life like, they were alive as I could see some veins in the thin fuzz alongside the way the muscles twitched every time her ears moved.

She gazed into me with an utterly serious expression, like she was memorizing something of incredible importance for the first time. For a second, I wondered if something was wrong with me. Could Mr. Muscles have done something to me? I didn't even know what the state of my body was, so maybe I was horrific, twisted, or just sad? I was hit by the possibility that while the pain was gone, the flames had twisted my skin, and she was just barely keeping herself from horror by professional detachment. Or perhaps—

She broke into a goofy smile and cooed baby talk at me.

My mind skipped a gear. Ground to a halt. Rebooted.

In a crystalline moment, my suspicions clicked into place. The reason I could barely move, hadn't been able to see, the sudden maternal noises aimed at my direction?

I was an infant.

Of course I hadn't been able to see; my eyes barely even worked. And if I was only seeing now, I'd likely been a newborn this whole time. When I was told I'd be reborn, I hadn't considered the full ramifications of the reborn part.

There's no way Mr. Muscles hadn't known of my ignorance, which made me wonder what other fuckery laid in store for me.

This woman, for better or worse, was probably my new mother in life. This was going to be weird. I had no one to compare her to beyond a nice neighbor lady who used to give me root beer candy as a kid, who—

That was odd. What was her name again?

At this point, my new catmom reached down to tickle my nose and my thought process suddenly went ker-plunk as that touch set my senses alight. I burst into the biggest giggle fit of my life.

When I came off from what I can only describe as a feeling of being high in the best of ways, I was somewhere else. I knew this based on the slightly different colored blurs I saw.

I felt oddly full and incredibly sleepy. Gentle rocking motions soothed me and added to the sudden wave of tiredness creeping on me as feelings of warmth and safety flowed through me, of pure comfort. Vaguely, I realized I was held in the crook of my new catmom's arm as she rocked me to sleep. Something struck me as off, but the feeling of her warmth, of hearing her heartbeat, did something to me, made me feel so utterly comfortable that soon my eyes closed. Sleep drew me into its waiting arms once more to a soothing beat.

…

Blacking out became routine for me. This was concerning.

The first time, I came out of it like I was awakening from the best nap ever and contentedly full. While I couldn't see more than ten inches from my face, I could tell it was darker out and it had been some time. Catmom was nowhere to be seen, but she presumably had something else to do with her time. Granted, I had no idea what that might entail, given I knew nothing about this world beyond it had catgirls, but I digress.

I found, with some concentration, I could at least wiggle a bit. My body didn't want to obey me so even that much was a hassle, but it did lead to one revelation: I had a tail.

I think I skipped right past the shocked phase to, "Well, what was I expecting?" I wished to be reincarnated into a world of catgirls. I'd thought I'd just drop in, but I'd trusted a fairy of all things to not pull anything. Given that, being a catboy was probably pretty minor, all things considered. That made me wonder if there were human — or any other races, for that matter — in this world. I supposed I'd find out eventually.

As it was, the tail would take some getting used to, especially as it was so wiggly. I couldn't even see it properly given my inability to move or contort my body, but it seemed to have a mind of its own as it moved chaotically every time I so much as thought in its general direction.

I could have a tail like one of those — erasian? Erian? Something hairless cats which would not be my go-to, but it wasn't like I had a choice in the matter. In the process of furiously wiggling out of a lack of ability to do anything else, I also discovered my new ears. It was a bit freaky feeling my ears move a little when I finally figured out how to focus on them. Learning to move them was strange. I'd heard of people who could move their ears a bit in my previous life, but this was nothing like that. They were already prone to moving without my conscious choice and it kept startling me while I tried to wiggle in a specific way. They were almost essentially another, overly responsive set of limbs.

I was also feeling uncomfortable with my lower body. I wiggled more to try and alleviate it.

My wiggling drew notice, as soon as the cat-lady — no, my catmom, appeared above me. Not being able to see more than ten inches in front of me was weird… and awful. Everything beyond that was a blur, so it was like a giant teleporting before me. Just as before, my eyes seemed to lock onto her of their own accord. Her nose twitched, and she muttered something unintelligible with a grimace. In the next few seconds, I was brought to a nearby surface, and I discovered yet another key downside to being an infant: no bladder control.


I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I didn't care if this was normal, and—

Wait.

Where the fuck was my penis?

…

One existential crisis later that barely subsumed the roaring embarrassment of the second most mortifying incident in my life (first being the time I accidentally played porn on a laptop in class), and I was certain I'd run into Mr. Muscles' second round of fuckery. I'd expected my reincarnation to be, well, "Here you are in a new world, good luck!" Maybe if I was lucky, I'd start in some nice field somewhere with some unknown power to help me adjust to a new world. That clearly wasn't the case.

I digress and am procrastinating yet again. Right, the point: I was not a catboy.

I was a catgirl; a baby catgirl.

This was my fate with good karma. Well, borderline good which didn't account for much. Although now I wondered how much worse I'd be off if I'd had less, if it even mattered, or if Mr. Muscles just liked fucking with people.

I would have tried to compartmentalize it, move on, maybe think back on it later during a quiet night, but I was literally a baby that could wiggle a bit. All I could do was think.

It was obvious, in retrospect. He'd even tipped me off, saying, "You really should work on your wording. Maybe next time, eh?"

…

I'd never had a huge amount of pride in being a guy. It was just a part of who I was and something I'd taken as a norm, yet that had clearly changed. Prior, it just was an assumed thing, a part of me just like my hair or eye color. I'd rolled with it all my life. Would I have gender dysphoria now? I suppose I could just be dead and that was the end of it, but man, that would suck.

Still, I had been given another chance to live. I was just going to have to adjust to the changes and hope catgirls grew up fast. I really didn't want to stay a baby for long.

*** *** ***
​

Days passed, or so I assumed.

I wasn't certain as I couldn't exactly see a window from my crib and the only light change was the woman turning the lights on and off. To get some idea of time, I'd tried counting sleep cycles, but that had quickly failed. I'd only gotten as high as nine before I lost count.

Two obstacles factored into my failure to perform basic grade school mathematics. Firstly, I got tired very easily. This was worse than it sounded. In my previous life at university, late night gaming and cramming went hand in hand to maintain some semblance of sanity and pass courses, respectively. Yet it was worse here. At some point exhaustion from laying down all day would get to me, and I'd fall asleep nigh instantly, far easier than I can ever remember in my old life. I could only assume it was biologically enforced nap time. Regardless, it made keeping count a pain.

Second, and a cause of greater concern, I kept blacking out. I didn't know why, but there were periods when I'd be lucid one moment and suddenly had been moved, lights changed, or other gaps in my memory appeared. I didn't know why, but the end result was that time became nearly meaningless.

Consequently, I was doomed to never count to ten.

I heard a distant door open with a heavy clang. My ears twitched at the noise out of pure reflex. I certainly couldn't consciously manage that yet. I focused on that feeling and tried to replicate it. It took several tries as my ears didn't want to listen, but I eventually managed a little ear wiggle. I'd had them perk up before, but the muscles were unfamiliar, and I decided to take the win where I could.

Footsteps echoed into the room, something heavy was set down, and a familiar face popped into place above me once more. Her ears perked as she looked down at me with a little smile, and she reached down to pat my cheek. The warmth of her hand was almost shocking to the touch. I jolted. This amused her.

She then flicked her hair and said something pretty-sounding. It was unfortunate it might as well have been gibberish to me.

I knew English, Spanish, and a bit of Japanese from my weeb days trying and failing to learn it through online tutorials. None of that knowledge helped me as I watched her form words. It sounded simple, but without a basis I didn't know what it all could possibly mean. For all I knew she was informing me of her family's greatest legacy but all it amounted to be a flapping of her lips and sounds. They were nice sounds, at least.

All of this would have been solved with a universal translator, but that was yet another thing Mr. Muscles had neglected to include in my reincarnation package.

Patting my ear which made my tail twitch excitedly, at which point the stimulation and pure feeling exploded and—

The room was dark again. My thoughts flowed like molasses, and it took a while to even realize I was awake and not dreaming. Eventually, I was able to think well enough to realize I'd blacked out again. This time, I suspected her touch had done it. I'd been fine as she talked, but the moment I felt her warmth my mind nearly blanked. It was nice to note, but it didn't exactly tell me much.

The only thing from the encounter I could take was that I really needed a name for this woman who was probably my mom in this world rather than alternate calling her lady, cat lady, woman, and catmom. I settled on Catmom.

There was a curious gap in my interactions with her. This was definitely due to the blackouts, but so far, I only really could remember her looking down at me. Everything else was a blur or non-existent.

There was a lot I didn't know. I didn't know where I was, what society I was part of, or even who my family was in this world. Catmom was there, but I'd yet seen anyone else at all. Where was my father? Did I have a sister? Grandparents? What did my mom even do on a day-to-day basis? For all I knew she was a pop idol. Or she baked bread. Or fought secret agents in clandestine tournaments.

I couldn't know. I didn't even know if the skies would be familiar when I finally saw them again. I hoped they were still blue.

Sometime later, Catmom popped up again and spoke. At least, I thought it was speech, not baby talk, because there was more order to her words, but meaning was lost on me. I again wished Mr. Muscles had given me a universal translator, or Hell, I'd settle for a Babel fish slithering in my ear at this point.

She spoke at length, and I didn't catch a word. I wondered what made her talk to an infant who couldn't do more than stare at her, but she found something worthwhile in talking to me. Her tone was almost sad, but as she neared the end of her "conversation", her words lifted with a soft smile, and she brought her face in closer.

A string of familiarity hit me as she uttered something. I didn't quite catch it, but it had an "M" sound. She touched her chest over her heart and then moved softly pet my ears. Excitement and warmth bubbled up in me like a wave of sunshine and—

The room was dark again. I really wished I would stop blacking out. At least I felt well rested now. But, thinking about the interaction, I realized she was repeating a word, and it meant something to her; something warm.

This pattern repeated, over and over. Catmom would be out doing whatever she did during the day, then back, feed and care for me, and occasionally say words to me before she would do something and my brain scrambled. I still didn't know anything she said as while the rhythm was becoming familiar, the actual words were unknown.

She did had a nice voice, though. So that was something

There was one word, however. It sounded like "matan", but I think I was missing a syllable in there. She kept repeating it as she stood over my cradle, looking down at me fondly. It could be my name, but I doubted it. She'd made no gestures to me when saying it, and that conclusion felt right. I figured there was a 50/50 chance I was wrong, but I had to start somewhere.

The door opened. My ears twitched and vaguely perked while the rest of me sat like a potato and barely reacted. I was frustrated, but pushed that aside as Catmom made her appearance above my cradle

She spoke. Her tone sounded positive at first, but I picked up something else in there, a certain falseness to her tone. It reminded me of the way my father would get at the end of the month when money was running out or when he spoke of my old life's mother.

Would a normal baby even pick up on that? She flicked her hair and drew some up behind her ear that would otherwise hang her face. I focused. I knew this pattern and tried to pick out the word she kept repeating.

"—ach...is mise do mháthair," she finished, pressing her hand to her heart once more.

It clicked and I felt like a complete and total dumbass the whole time. It wasn't referring to me. It was her. It was always her.

"Máthair".

Mom.

Chapter Two: Author's Note:

Isekais often go way too smoothly. Now, transmigration/portal isekais are one thing—you at least show up in a new world capable of walking around, but I take further issue with the isekais who go the reincarnation route. Most of these stories intentionally skip over or downplay details of what life is actually like for someone with a loosely conscious, adult brain who cannot move, talk, or even control their bowels. One of the worst offenders was an isekai who had the MC become aware as a fetus months before birth. I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of becoming conscious as an infant with so little ability to do anything sounds torturous to the point of sanity breaking.

Regarding the bits of non-English thrown in this chapter, I'm quite aware that they match up with another real world language. I did this as I am not even going to try to pretend to be a linguist to invent my own language. I find the act and complications resulting from assorted languages interesting, but I will not be going so far as to make my own original languages as, sadly, I am not quite Tolkien.

That said, if anyone is worried that they will become an omnipresent feature, then I will state no. I find languages fascinating, but I also know including lengthy bits of text in another language even with a translation can prove distracting, at least when you're a novice at integrating such things into a story such as myself.. I intend to primarily utilize it when the MC has no idea what is being said or actively figuring things out, but if they know what is being said, then text will be understandable to the reader, too.

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[The Radiance's Follower]

Little bro became a cat girl. He's about to become someone's else waifu in the future. Neat. I like TSF story so I will def be following this one.

 

[HiddenMaster]

Little bro became a cat girl. He's about to become someone's else waifu in the future. Neat. I like TSF story so I will def be following this one.

Click to shrink...

Such is the fate of idiots who choose catgirls when talking with a fairy, even a nicer one.

 

[chiefnewo]

Interesting so far. I wonder if there are any other species or genders in this world or if it really is just catgirls only.

And one reason isekai out 6 self insert stories skip over the baby bit is it's hard to make it interesting and original. Plus babies are kind of boring and can't do anything active to influence the story, as well as potentially leading to the trap of "the story is 200kb words but the plot hasn't started yet".

 

[HiddenMaster]

Interesting so far. I wonder if there are any other species or genders in this world or if it really is just catgirls only.

And one reason isekai out 6 self insert stories skip over the baby bit is it's hard to make it interesting and original. Plus babies are kind of boring and can't do anything active to influence the story, as well as potentially leading to the trap of "the story is 200kb words but the plot hasn't started yet".

Click to shrink...

Oh, I am quite aware of that. In fact, it's one reason I wanted to explore this story because I figured, "Hmm, wonder if I can make this work?"

But what I took umbrage with is not the ones who skip over it. That's fine, hell, that's the smart thing to do in a story like this. My issue is with stories that decide "yeah this person is gonna be totally fine after being stuck as an infant to toddler to child for years with no notable changes in mind or personality". So I'm a Spider, So What? had that with a character who became aware in an egg and...yeah, that bothered me.

 

[chiefnewo]

My issue is with stories that decide "yeah this person is gonna be totally fine after being stuck as an infant to toddler to child for years with no notable changes in mind or personality". So I'm a Spider, So What? had that with a character who became aware in an egg and...yeah, that bothered me.

Click to shrink...

It's a difficult line to walk between your character being so traumatised they never do anything and just shrugging it off within a few seconds. I'll be watching to see how you pull it off.

 

[HiddenMaster]

I made some vaguely contented noises to signal I was full. Mom perked up immediately. I imagined her ears pointed straight up the second I made a noise, but I couldn't really tell given where I was and my poor eyesight on top of that. Holding me in one arm, she adjusted her blue top back into place, patted my back until I burped, and set me down in my crib.

I stared at the ceiling, lamenting my inability to crawl in a hole and die. I didn't care what anyone else said, breastfeeding was mortifying. Then again, that summarized the entire reincarnation experience so far

I'm sure my new biological mother in this world did her best, but that still didn't take away from the fact that I was stuck in a crib 95% of the time. I don't think I'd even left this room once in the days since I'd first opened my eyes. There wasn't much to look at; it was a bedroom of some sort. That's it. There was not much else I could actually confirm as I couldn't move, and my eyesight sucked.

The boredom was excruciating.

Feeding times and the whole process of being a baby would be so much worse if it wasn't for my other discovery.

My baby brain couldn't handle me.

Conscious, sane thoughts came and went. Sometimes, particularly in calm moments, I was able to think almost normally. This was more torturous than anything else, given I couldn't speak and couldn't move, but it was something. In other moments when I was over-stimulated — moved too fast, having my ears pet, or even if I got too hungry or sleepy — it felt like my baby brain shut down and I entered autopilot mode.

Autopilot mode, what I'd originally thought were blackouts, was basically normal baby activity but I couldn't think at all. At least, I assume this was normal baby activity given I hadn't somehow starved before I'd regained self-awareness given there was a lengthy period where I can't recall eating anything. This instinct had probably saved me as it ensured I could eat and not want to die, but it didn't make this process any less humiliating and I really wanted to be able to move and eat solid food again.

I couldn't tell how long I'd been aware. I don't remember being born, which was a small grace. While the lighting did change, the autopilot mode meant I couldn't keep track of things with any regularity. It felt like my entire life boiled down to just eating, sleeping, wiggling in vain, and baby noises. I frankly wasn't sure given the blackouts where I was in baby autopilot mode.

Still, things definitely improved as time passed.

For instance, I could lift my head now. Previously, my world was four walls of a crib and a gray ceiling. But now, I could lift my head enough to see the object Mom placed before me.

It was a small, dull-green ball. Above, a blurry Mom stood nearby. I think she was watching me.

The last time I played with a ball had been as a middle schooler. I'd tried to throw a basketball into a hoop and managed to slam it into a guy's head whose personality was best described as 'willing to hold a grudge with a vindictive streak a mile wide'. There's a reason I tried not to think of middle school.

This was a child's toy. It should not interest me.

The counter argument was that I had been in here for God knows how long and my entertainment was sleeping and staring at the blurry ceiling. Any stimulation at all was a godsend.

Every day, outside feeding times or napping times, she had placed the ball in my crib. I hadn't been able to do anything but note its presence there, but things had changed. I certainly felt more energetic.

I placed my arms on my sides and pushed. Nothing happened.

I frowned. I pushed harder. Nothing happened.

Finally, I pushed with all my might. I overdid it and rolled over and nowhere near the ball. I heard a giggle.

I'm sure it was very amusing to her, but this was serious! I needed to move! The sooner I could move, the sooner I could leave this tiny crib! There was a world outside this room that I wanted to see! Ideally, it would be a world that involved solid food. I would settle for that much.

I repeated this process three times, to no notable success.

Eventually, I heard cat-mom leave to do… whatever it was she did during the day when not caring for me. I still couldn't see well enough to even note details on the walls of my crib, nevertheless the ceiling, but I did hear one. The door she went through? Whatever it was, it was heavy. She didn't have difficulty with it, but damn if it didn't rattle the floor when she opened and closed it.

I stared above at the blurry color that was the ceiling.

I had hoped by now something would have shifted or changed. Maybe I'd wake up a foot taller or discover some form of magic I could spend all my time experimenting with, or something. I'd hoped I'd find something innate about myself to compensate for being a baby and get me out of this faster. Maybe this was all a joke and I'd be able to walk on my own as an adult tomorrow.

That's how the stories went, at least. Main character ends up in another world, immediately goes on an adventure.

They typically didn't shit themselves involuntarily.

Then again, most could at least walk. I couldn't. My most active and responsive limb was, weirdly enough, my tail, and even that was just wiggly.

I think I needed to face a fact. I was going to have to be patient. Just thinking the word left a bad taste in my mouth. I had no idea how fast catgirls grew (or would it be catfolk?), but I seemed human enough to understand this process would take a while. Even developing twice as fast would mean I'd be stuck like this far longer than I'd like, but I didn't really have a choice at this point.

I was just going to have to wait it out and try not to go insane.

It couldn't be that hard, could it?

*** *** ***
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​

I wonder if my tail will ever be long enough to touch my ears…

*** *** ***
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​

10,233 bottles of milk on the wall…

*** *** ***
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​

This is the song that never ends…Oh god that's the 5,788th verse…

*** *** ***
​

​

At some point, I think my brain tried to eat itself.

It was like the feeling of waking up in the middle of the night, wanting to sleep, knowing you needed to sleep for an important exam that day, but being completely incapable of getting back to sleep for hours. The difference was that this feeling stayed near-constantly in my waking hours because I could not do any of my coping mechanisms.

I couldn't read, I couldn't play games, I couldn't take a walk, I couldn't do more than wiggle. I found my tail was, surprisingly, strong enough to help me flip over, but that was it. I was still stuck as a baby and utterly dependent on a lady I was pretty sure was my mom but for all I knew was my sister, a wet nurse, or a glorified babysitter. It wasn't like I could even look at myself to see if we shared the same features.

I hated this. I hated this so much.

It was nighttime judging by the lack of light. I still couldn't make out details unless they were a few inches in front of me. I'd been fed, cleaned, and rocked. But I couldn't go toward the only respite from this state for reasons, because my insomnia followed me into this life. Or maybe it was normal for babies to just wake up randomly. Probably the latter.

I had to move.

I kicked, wiggled, daresay even thrashing, to get blankets off me.

I knew I wouldn't be able to crawl, let alone stand. But I needed to sit up. Just this one thing, and I could reclaim part of what I'd lost. It wouldn't be much, but at least I would take the first metaphorical step.

My arms were weak. They didn't respond well to my commands. I still managed to put them down on the soft sheets of my crib, put my towel to my side, and tried to push.

It said something about my state that it took minutes of trying to accomplish anything, but I did have a goal. I reached the wall of the crib which was, well, wood with a coat of white paint. This close I could see was somewhat worn away and more discolored than I'd thought.

Now, I had to face the hard part.

My arms and legs were basically jelly, but my tail had strength that continued to surprise me. I was curious what it'd be like when I was older, but as it was, my tail was the most developed part of me. Not that it said much, given I couldn't weigh more than ten or twelve pounds.

Using what little strength my arms had for stability, I pushed up, scooting more to try and lean against the crib's wall.

I was trying something I doubted any other infant my age would ever try. This was not easy. In fact, my arms already felt exhausted, and my tail wasn't much better. I almost wanted to cry.

I wasn't the picture of fitness before, but at least I wasn't this. In my old life could run, I could move, I could lift, I had something to be proud of. Here, I couldn't do any of that. At best, I was milk consuming void that just laid there most days, like most babies my presumed age. I'm sure I would eventually grow more, be able to think for longer periods, even stand, run, climb, do everything I could before and move.

But that was cold comfort in the now. Now I was still stuck here, unable to communicate, move, or even ask who I was.

I wanted to move.

My tail muscles burned as I pushed, and pushed, slowly raising myself. Then something flipped a metaphorical break as muscles gave out. Pain shot down my tail. Without ceremony I fell over. I was on the soft bedding of my crib, so it absorbed all the impact. I still felt like I'd face planted.

That. That was my best effort to sit. Ten minutes of effort and now my tail hurts and I feel exhausted.

I panted for time as I recovered, but soon felt the chill of the room seeping in. It likely wasn't that cold, but it was enough to make me shiver. I'd been under blankets, some sort of comfort. Like Hell I could get back under those in this state.

I stared at the dark ceiling and felt this stupid baby body begin to well up with tears. The chill felt awful, and being awake so long without someone nearby was doing something to me, like a growing sense of urgency meets anxiety that said, why are you alone, you shouldn't be alone, were you abandoned, please don't leave me alone.

I didn't let myself cry even as the urge warbled up and I felt my own conscious control fraying on the edge of another blackout.

This was my next life. My reward. I chose this.

"Ceann beag?" Cat-mom's voice shot out into the room, piercing even the general haze I heard most things in. She sounded tired but stepped closer. I heard her gasp, followed by an urgent, "Beag!"

In seconds, I was scooped up and held close. I felt her body heat and, even though my own exertion-fueled pain, I couldn't help but note it felt nice. She stared down at me in concern as her own ears stood at attention before slowly folding down. She leaned in, nuzzling me in a way I couldn't help but find myself surprised by.

She didn't put me back in my crib. Instead, she took me to the other side of the bedroom where I think her bed was.

She laid down with me, nearly curling up and hugging me firmly but without crushing me.

She then, with one hand, began to stroke the back of my hair and sing again. "Ná bí buartha, a dhuine bhig…"

This was…nice.

I didn't have a good comparison. In my old life, a maternal influence in my life just hadn't been a thing. My dad did his best, but closeness and comfort weren't in his vocabulary.

Staring up at her, or just her cascade of red hair and her chin as she stared back at me, I found I didn't mind this feeling.

Held in her grasp as she sang an unknown melody, I drifted off to sleep.

*** *** ***
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Days, weeks, or months passed.

Some part of me wanted to blame my new life on someone. The only woman I'd seen in this world would be an easy scapegoat. This impulsive desire had no logical basis, I knew; she was just helping me. Mr. Muscles was to blame for being reborn as an infant with a conscious, adult mind and all the torturous frustration that entailed. Yet, he wasn't there. Chances were, I would never see him again.

I could see my resentment like a seed. It'd be so disturbingly easy to let it fester deep inside until one day it could bloom in an all-consuming pile of thorn touched tendrils made of pure bitterness and unyielding anger that would sink into every inch of my being, wiggling around and always lurking just beneath my skin.

My old life wasn't great, but it was a life. I'd had loved ones, friends, things I enjoyed that I would never see again. This world would always be a reminder I couldn't go back.

Even at this stage, I could tell resentment could be a fuel, a lasting motivation to finally make things my way. I'd never have to worry about lethargy again if I was too angry at the world to sit still. All it would take to nurture a true drive in this life would be holding onto this resentment until it could bloom.

I sighed. It was soft, so weak and lacking the expansive volume I was used to, but it was time to admit this was my new normal.

I held the resentment a moment longer, staring down the long path at its end, before I smothered it in its cradle.

Footsteps zeroed in on me. A pretty, freckle spotted spotted face looked down at me with a quizzical tilt of the head and curly hair framing a face. Her lips were pursed.

I focused. I pursed my lips. My tongue was clumsy, and didn't want to cooperate, but I kept trying until I wrangled it in.

I spoke my first word in a new world. The word was foreign, not like anything I'd said in my old world, but I'd heard it often enough since I awakened. More importantly, it was mine.

"Mama."

Chapter Three: Author's Note

I wouldn't go as far as to say I've had nightmares about this scenario, but contemplating rebirth and experiencing infancy amounts to something no less than utterly torturous in my opinion. Yet again, like many things I take issue with anime dealing with this subject, or just works in general acknowledging it, don't do much or downplay it as 'boring'.

Boring does not begin to describe being an effective coma patient in your own body. Oh sure, there might be some small things you could do, but an infant's body is not meant for an adult's mind, and just being stuck in one place at the whim of someone else, no matter how good intentioned, sounds awful to me.

There's worse fates, to be certain, and you could arguably say a rebirth with mind intact is worth a period of boredom, but it'd still suck.

Until next time.

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[The Radiance's Follower]

Baby days are the worst. imagine being full conscious as a baby. Literal torture. When the time skip hits. Will we go straight to teen or stay in the young range ?

 

[HiddenMaster]

Baby days are the worst. imagine being full conscious as a baby. Literal torture. When the time skip hits. Will we go straight to teen or stay in the young range ?

Click to shrink...

Very mild spoilers, but we are exiting baby age with this chapter's conclusion. I really don't think I could make being a baby interesting in anything but "read as the character progressively loses their mind and starts hallucinating" sense.