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Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

Guile said:
Minato!Sakura, of course, doesn't know Naruto very well if he thinks that. Neither threats nor the prospect of death nor common sense keeps Naruto from doing what he wants to do!
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Hey, if the lies let her sleep at night....

It would lead to a few entertaining events where Sakura feels the need to rub out those memories with alcohol. Other ninja suspect Kakashi of corrupting his genin, or of something unsavory going on; that's not it at all, Sakura just needs a drink in the worst way, and Kakashi is a convenient way to get past the doorman.
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This. I love it. Throw in regularly compromising scenarios that nobody actually takes seriously because Kakashi is assumed to some standards of decency, but when drunk Sakura loses just enough inhibitions and forgets juuuuuust enough details, plus her incarnations blur together, that things get supremely awkward for Kakashi.

But at least Sakura gets to unwind!
 
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Oh my God, imagine Minato!Sakura reuniting with Jiraiya!

If people think Kakashi is corrupting Sakura, they'll have a whole new laundry list of things to say about the Pervy Sage and his entourage.

"Gamabunta! ;D Oh how I've missed you! Initiation rite, now now now! I have never before needed to get drunk in my last life as much as I do every week in this one!"

"No Ero-sennin, I am not going to describe for you what it's like to be a woman compared to a man. Not even if you get me drunk. I haven't even found someone I want to be with in this life, it's not like I'd be able to tell you. And I'm not gonna help you spy on the ladies in the bathhouse either! You're lucky I didn't lead the charge to use Onnarashii Houfuku no Jutsu on you and beat you even younger than I did the first time around.

"I'm sorry, wait, I agreed to what?! Kushina is gonna kill me..."

":mad: No Jiraiya, it is not a consolation that I look like the hypothetical child of me and Kushina. And seriously who actually thinks adding red and yellow gets you pink? Put your hand down you man-child.

Jiraiya: :-[

"Seriously, it'd make more sense to add white to red to get pink any....way...." Thinks of Kakashi/Jiraiya with Kushina, "Oh gods above I did not need to visualize that."

"I swear, kunoichi stereotypes be damned, I am going to become a medic-nin for the sole purpose of developing a jutsu to blast my short-term memory and eradicate all the things I see, heard, and think before it's committed to long-term memory. So you can either let me become a lush, or you can let me do brain surgery. Take your pick.

"Incidentally, this will likely lead to me becoming Tsunade's apprentice instead of yours. Which, come to think of it, isn't such a bad idea, I mean I did learn everything from you and then surpass it the last time around...

"By the way, at this age I count as a loli. That's right ero-sennin, I am one of your worst nightmares incarnated. I know every single thing that disgusts and horrifies you. I am in a position to indulge in every terrible, shameful vice I do and do not possess, and blame every single one on you. I'm desperate enough to do it. I'm sure Kushina will forgive me if I phrase it as pranking you in her name. Sooooo, about that booze?"

"I knew you'd see it my way. 8) Love ya too, you perv. Cheers!"




Okay, no I overplayed some jokes. But Minato!Sakura with Jiraiya is potentially some hilarious shit.
 
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this quest needs to happen, someone find a good quest master other then Furiko, she's doing a wonderful job with what she is already going and I don't want to shovel more on her plate.
 
[X] I feel exactly those feelings, too, and that's why I keep them inside

"I'll take a rain check," he says. "The situation's a little complicated."

"Yeah," you say with a frown, taking a moment to reflect, "I guess it would be, wouldn't it?"

You've never held the Throne open to visitors this long; maybe you should think about wrapping things up before anyone starts to get seriously worried. But not before your information exchange is over.

Pick up to two.

[X] "What flavour of complicated are we talking about, here?"

[X] "So whacha wanna do about our match? Y'wanna go all out, or just have some fun?"

[X] "Speaking of complicated, I hope this isn't a personal question or anything, but what the fuck is up with your brother's chakra? The last time I heard chakra like that a gigantic fuck-off fox-shaped A-bomb was Godzilla'ing Konoha."

[X] "So how do you wanna play this? In a minute we're gonna hafta go back outside, and people are gonna have some questions."
 
[X] "Speaking of complicated, I hope this isn't a personal question or anything, but what the fuck is up with your brother's chakra? The last time I heard chakra like that a gigantic fuck-off fox-shaped A-bomb was Godzilla'ing Konoha."

[X] "So how do you wanna play this? In a minute we're gonna hafta go back outside, and people are gonna have some questions."
 
[X] "So whacha wanna do about our match? Y'wanna go all out, or just have some fun?"
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These things are basically the same thing to these guys.
[X] "So how do you wanna play this? In a minute we're gonna hafta go back outside, and people are gonna have some questions."
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Why do that when flying by the seat of our pants is so much more fun? Do you guys think it's too early to make cracks about 'just wanting a little alone time', or should we save that for second date?

Therefore:
[X] "What flavour of complicated are we talking about, here?"
See if we can weasel out some info about Sand in the guise of curiosity. We'll need to know just in case we need to infiltrate the village and extract some cranky siblings at 3 o'clock in the morning.
[X] "Speaking of complicated, I hope this isn't a personal question or anything, but what the fuck is up with your brother's chakra? The last time I heard chakra like that a gigantic fuck-off fox-shaped A-bomb was Godzilla'ing Konoha."
Oh, and hopefully you guys weren't trying to keep that under wraps, because I heard three other people notice the same thing.
 
[X] "What flavour of complicated are we talking about, here?"
[X] "Speaking of complicated, I hope this isn't a personal question or anything, but what the fuck is up with your brother's chakra? The last time I heard chakra like that a gigantic fuck-off fox-shaped A-bomb was Godzilla'ing Konoha."

Even flows together conversation wise. Besides he have Shikamaru there to deflect questions until we get back and BS our way through things.
 
[X] "What flavour of complicated are we talking about, here?"
[X] "Speaking of complicated, I hope this isn't a personal question or anything, but what the fuck is up with your brother's chakra? The last time I heard chakra like that a gigantic fuck-off fox-shaped A-bomb was Godzilla'ing Konoha."
 
[X] "Speaking of complicated, I hope this isn't a personal question or anything, but what the fuck is up with your brother's chakra? The last time I heard chakra like that a gigantic fuck-off fox-shaped A-bomb was Godzilla'ing Konoha."

[X] "So how do you wanna play this? In a minute we're gonna hafta go back outside, and people are gonna have some questions."
 
Somebody make the Minato is Sakura story or quest already.

[X] "What flavour of complicated are we talking about, here?"

[X] "So how do you wanna play this? In a minute we're gonna hafta go back outside, and people are gonna have some questions."
 
[X] "What flavour of complicated are we talking abo- wait, what?"

Kankuro hesitates. "How much do you remember about home?"

You shrug. "A lot, but it's like someone else's memories. Why?"

The boy sighs. "I don't wanna sound like a whiner or anything, but... Suna is a third-world hellhole. There's no way to be polite about it. By ninja standards it's probably pretty sane and normal, but that still makes it a dog-eat-dog pressure-cooker where the strong take whatever they want and the weak get stomped on. And I can't just leave because no matter how big a prick the old man is, 'Mari loves him and Suna both. If Gaara and I split, we'll have to kidnap her and bring her along with us - she'll never agree to go with us and if we leave her behind they'll use her as a hostage to make us come back. And that's not even getting into the whole jinchuuriki thing."

"What's a jinchuuriki?" you ask.

Kankuro blinks. "Oh. Right. I forgot, you guys have that stupid law that doesn't make any sense. A jinchuuriki is someone who's had a bijuu sealed inside them. They're like human nukes, they help keep the balance of power between the villages. Gaara is one."

...

.....

[X] "... okay, setting aside for a moment the heavy shit you just dropped on me, what exactly is this law you're talking about?"

[X] "That... how...? The bijuu are like hurricanes! Or earthquakes! Or alien invasions! How the hell do you seal something like that?! Why would you want to seal something like that?!"

[X] "Wait, human nuke?! Are you saying if you and Gaara try to run they'll detonate him?"

[X] Write-in
 
[X] "That... how...? The bijuu are like hurricanes! Or earthquakes! Or alien invasions! How the hell do you seal something like that?! Why would you want to seal something like that?!"

Not really a fan of any of the options, but I'll go with this one, unless a good write-in is made.
 
[X] "Okay, yeah i can see how someone that could be classified as a nuke would cause 'some' higher ups to go crazy with worry if someone like that would go around free and without supervision. But still its not really right to try and cage them they are people too."
 
[X] "Wait, human nuke?! Are you saying...

For some reason, this makes sense to me.
 
[X] "Wait, human nuke?! Are you saying if you and Gaara try to run they'll detonate him?"


completely wrong, but the most IC choice.


seriously hoping we manage to get over our Kyuubi issues, atleast a little bit.

I think naruto's secret is coming out soon,
 
>They're like human nukes, they help keep the balance of power between the villages.
[X] "... Do we have a human nuke? Who do I know that has chakra like Gaara?"
-[X] Ponder how to get a look at Gaara's tummy-seal. You never know when shit like that might come in handy.

We could either do this through a cunning and protracted campaign of psychological warfare, or we could ask Gaara to take off his shirt. Either would work.
 
Guile said:
We could either do this through a cunning and protracted campaign of psychological warfare, or we could ask Gaara to take off his shirt.
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Temari: ._. please don't.
Tenten and Sakura: Please do! ;D
 
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Guile said:
>They're like human nukes, they help keep the balance of power between the villages.
[X] "... Do we have a human nuke? Who do I know that has chakra like Gaara?"
-[X] Ponder how to get a look at Gaara's tummy-seal. You never know when shit like that might come in handy.

We could either do this through a cunning and protracted campaign of psychological warfare, or we could ask Gaara to take off his shirt. Either would work.
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That's a wonderful plan if you want Suna to kill us. I know I wouldn't want people messing with my weapons seal even if they were allies. Knowing Gaara's dad he would try to kill us.
 
nightblade said:
That's a wonderful plan if you want Suna to kill us. I know I wouldn't want people messing with my weapons seal even if they were allies. Knowing Gaara's dad he would try to kill us.
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pretty sure garaa habitually goes around without a shirt regardless.

he only wore one here because his sister made him.
 
[X] "Wait, human nuke?! Are you saying if you and Gaara try to run they'll detonate him?"

This is actually a completely logical thing to include in a biiju seal in case your Jinch goes rogue.

Horrible, but still completely logical.
 
[X] "... Do we have a human nuke? Who do I know that has chakra like Gaara?"
-[X] Ponder how to get a look at Gaara's tummy-seal. You never know when shit like that might come in handy.
 
nightblade said:
That's a wonderful plan if you want Suna to kill us. I know I wouldn't want people messing with my weapons seal even if they were allies. Knowing Gaara's dad he would try to kill us.
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Not messing with it, just... we have eyes, you know? They're good ones, judging by the way we gank taijutsu techniques and the speed we learned that seal from Jiraiya.

If Gaara chooses to flaunt his washboard abs or not is his own decision.
 
Guile said:
If Gaara chooses to flaunt his washboard abs or not is his own decision.
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Temari: >_< I don't care what your stupid fanart has to say on the subject (AND YES THAT MEANS I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT), my scrawny little brother does not have abs.
 
FurikoMaru said:
Temari: >_< I don't care what your stupid fanart has to say on the subject (AND YES THAT MEANS I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT), my scrawny little brother does not have abs.
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Ino, to Gaara/Temari: Prove it.
 
Guile said:
Not messing with it, just... we have eyes, you know? They're good ones, judging by the way we gank taijutsu techniques and the speed we learned that seal from Jiraiya.

If Gaara chooses to flaunt his washboard abs or not is his own decision.
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You do realize that the seals probably compressed. Which would require us touching it to get it a good understanding of it.
 
Vindictus said:
Ino- "I have absolutely no problem with that."
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Jigen: This is just wrong.

Kankuro: >:D I dunno. I think there's a certain poetry to it.

Jigen: -_- If I had known growing up in a ninja village would give you some messed-up pseudo-incest transsexual weirdness fetish, I'd have nuke-nin'd us the first chance I got.

Kankuro: Come on, you can't tell me this isn't funny as hell. The two biggest ladykillers we know are totally gay for each other.

Temari: ... can't argue with that logic. Yamanaka, you have my permission to date my brother!

Ino: Which one?

Temari: ... yes!

Ino: Jackpot!

Kankuro: ._____.; wait what no

Gaara: *shit-eating grin*

Jigen: ... at least I can take comfort in knowing I'm adopted.
 
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