[X] As wise in thought as bold in deed
"Yamanaka Ino the Fifth," you declare with a playful wink. "I like cats, fucking with people, 'shopping'," you're not sure whether Ami's facepalming because you decided to show off your Kiba impression or because the way you said that clearly showcases the fact that there are quotation marks around the word shopping, "and apparently cigarettes. Can I have one of those?"
"You serious?" Asuma asks incredulously.
"You gonna leave a lady hangin'?" you respond curtly. Gimme. Gimmegimmegimmegimme...
He just looks amused, and takes another drag. "Buy your own."
You pout. In Ami's voice, you continue sullenly: "I dislike Uchiha Itachi and being told I'm too young. And," you smirk as you see both Ami and Kiba straighten up in surprise as you go for broke with an impression of the man standing before you, "my dream is to become the best at what I do."
Asuma's grin broadens. "Infiltration specialist, huh? Not bad."
"Neither is this, I'd say," you reply gleefully, holding up his pack of smokes.
He nods. "Not bad at all..."
The pack explodes in a shower of confetti and blue paint.
"... for a genin." His smile is absolutely evil.
Kiba laughs uproariously. Ami giggles.
You are torn between embarrassment, anger, utter surprise, and being-covered-in-paint.
"As for me," Asuma says, "I'm Sarutobi Asuma. I like shogi and soba with tororo. I dislike people trying to take my cigarettes away. My dream for the future is to see all three of you become chuunin."
Kiba grins. "That dream'll come true easy, sensei, with a team this awesome."
"I certainly hope so," Asuma retorts dryly. "I'm not sure I could take being stuck with a spacecase, a fangirl and a dumb mutt for longer'n a couple years."
"You think you've got problems?" You scowl. "We're saddled with a guy who doesn't even understand the common courtesy of puff-puff-pass."
"Kids these days," your teacher mutters, "no sense of humour."
You spend the next hour or two playing shogi, three on one. You play like shit, being slightly distracted (NO, REALLY?), but you still manage to beat Asuma in the first thirty minutes; the rest of your time you spend assisting Kiba. He didn't want to ask for help, but the circumstances (he thinks a Silver General is a double cheeseburger with teriyaki, garlic and onions at the Akabeko) forced his hand. Ami refuses to let you so much as look at her board - she's determined to get her own back for that fangirl remark.
Kiba and Ami both lose their matches in the end, Kiba from simple lack of familiarity and Ami from not being the strategy game type, but Asuma seems satisfied.
"Be at the Tower at 9:00 AM tomorrow, and make sure you eat a big breakfast first. We're starting D-ranks." And he shunshins out.
"We drew the short sensei straw," Kiba grumbles.
"Who on earth does he think he is?" Ami demands. "Me! A fangirl! After all I've done to keep them from bothering my Sasuke-kun!"
"How did he know I was going to try to get his cigarettes?" you finally ask, confounded. "I didn't even know I wanted them until he lit one up! And that trap had to have been set up ahead of time."
"Of course he could stop you," Ami says reasonably. "You didn't really think you were going to get past a jounin, did you?"
"Maybe not," you admit reluctantly, "but that doesn't answer my real question."
"We've gotta get him back for what he said," Kiba declares, punching his fist into his palm for emphasis. "Smug jerk."
"And what exactly are we going to do?" Ami rolls her eyes. "Get Akamaru's fleas on him?"
"Akamaru doesn't have fleas!" Kiba says angrily, the puppy snuffling in distaste.
You
[X] decide if they're gonna get revenge on the hoarder of tobacco products, you want in.
[X] decide there's no point in being a sore loser. The man's touchy about his moku and you've gotta work with him for the time being; prankin' 'im, while satisfying, is just gonna antagonize him.
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How's that, Guile? :3