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Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

Sorry, guys. We're going on hiatus until the fall. I have business to attend to in the waking world. :(
 
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Aww. Well good luck Furiko, sounds like you need it.
 
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We will be waiting for you Furiko! ^^-b
 
Good luck Furiko. We'll be waiting for you.
 
Creatively unfulfilled Furiko is creatively unfulfilled and antsy. Time for snippet.

Furiko's Omake Theatre~!

Meanwhile, in River Country...

-_- "Of course it's ramen. It must have been a fit of purest optimism that made me hope the moron could possibly know how to cook anything else."

You swear, if Sasuke makes one more snide remark under his breath, you're kicking his ass, Rookie of the Year or no. It's been like this every day since you left Konoha; he's like a stuffy mother-in-law on a sitcom! And why does he always say this crap to you? The little jerk needs to wake the hell up and realize that without his friends around to do his apologizing for him, there's no reason for anyone not to punch those precious eyes of his into his brain for the things that come out of his mouth!

Unfortunately, internal bravado aside, the simple fact of the matter is that there is a reason not to.

At least, for you, there is.

A ceramic ladle pokes Sasuke in the nose. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean, you bastard?!"

For Naruto there isn't.

"Uchiha-kun," you finally say, adjusting your glasses, "it would perhaps be best if you refrained from sharing your running commentary with us in future. As you may have noticed, it puts unnecessary strain on morale."

The black-haired idiot stares at you in disbelief. You stare back.

Clan politics within Konoha aren't as complicated as popular civilian soap operas would have people believe - ninja have enough enemies as it is without feuding recreationally with their allies. The Uchiha and Senju were the exception in the present day, rather than the rule; modern rivalries are almost exclusively between individuals, not families.

Still. The fact remains. You're the heir to the Aburame. The Aburame are already Clan Creepy (though how you got that designation in a village with the Yamanaka and the Hyuuga in it you will never understand) - no one wants them to be led by someone with an uncontrollable temper, least of all the other Aburame. Especially if you can't even restrain yourself from telling the Uchiha Clan-head-to-be to go perform an act which is anatomically impossible.

So over time, you've learned to control yourself. You speak in measured, even tones every time you open your mouth, to be sure that you've really thought about what you're saying before you say it. You explain, as plainly and patiently as you can, the reasons that people should not commit acts of blatant stupidity or say utterly tactless things - along with the reasons you know stuff, since being treated like you're basically a witch doctor for actually paying attention to the world around you is incredibly aggravating.

Happily, your overall stress levels have dropped recently, thanks to a certain living relief-valve known as Uzumaki Naruto.

Said walking emissary of catharsis is currently shaking his ladle at Sasuke. "If you don't like my ramen you can shove that grumpy look where the sun don't shine and make your own damn dinner! There'll just be more for me an' Shino an' sensei!"

"Is that dinner already?" Kakashi-sensei calls, appearing on cue from behind a tree. Very quietly, you sigh in relief. You were worried for a moment he might wait until a blow was struck to make his presence known. Your teacher is such an odd mix of competence and irreverence that you never know quite what he's thinking, or how much of what he says and does is his true self as opposed to a performance. Even his teaching style is so hands-off as to be almost non-existent. The man is unreadable.

According to your mother that's a not uncommon problem with elite jounin. You suppose you'll get used to working with him eventually. It's not like you can't appreciate the desire to keep some things to yourself.

=

Kakashi-sensei says he'll take first watch and sends the three of you off to bed. Sasuke, as usual, goes to sleep almost immediately, his gentle snoring filling the tent even as Naruto starts rolling around, kicking and shoving at both of you, trying to get comfortable.

After a long while, your teammate taps you on the shoulder. "Hey, Shino?"

"Yes?"

"What's it like having bugs inside you?"

The inevitable question. At least he doesn't dance around trying to phrase it 'delicately'; some people just cannot tell the difference between condescension and tact. "I don't know," you answer honestly. "My hive was given to me when I was a year old. I lack any conscious memory of a time without my partners."

"Oh." Naruto goes quiet for a moment. "So you didn't get to choose whether or not to take them?"

You roll over to face him at that. "Why wouldn't I want them?" you ask, already knowing what the answer will be, anger already simmering ever-so-slightly in the back of your mind. You've seen girls your age edge away when you walk by. You've seen people intentionally crush insects of all kinds without so much as a thought, beyond mild satisfaction at destroying a peaceful organism for the crime of inconveniencing them.

Your anger readies its weapons; the statistics, anecdotes of dozens of declassified missions where kikai have saved the lives of their hosts and their hosts' squadmates alike, documentation of which you can produce upon your return to Konoha.

You like Naruto. But that doesn't mean you'll let him talk about your friends like they're a disease.

"'Cause of how people treat you 'cause you have them, I guess," he says quietly.

"... nevertheless, had I been given the choice, I would have accepted them," you reply, when you get over your surprise. "Why? Because my family prizes our relationship with the kikai beyond all other ninjutsu, and rightly so. Without my partners, I would lack sufficient versatility to back my teammates to the full extent of my potential." After a moment's hesitation, without fully knowing why you feel the need to add it, you say, "And I would be lonely without them, I think."

"N-no way...!" Naruto sits up at that. "They can talk to you?"

"Not individually, no; their brains are not complex enough." You struggle to describe what for you is as natural as walking; no one's ever asked you about this kind of thing before, so you're not sure how to explain it. "The hive can... speak, at times - my mother has been teaching me meditation techniques to strengthen my listening skills in that regard."

Naruto digests this fact, apparently lost in thought.

"So the stuff people say doesn't bother you?" he asks.

"It would be foolish of me to ascribe any weight to the opinions of the ignorant," you sidestep, not surprised that his questions would tend in this direction, given his reputation. "Hatred of insects is irrational."

"What about, like, poisonous insects?" the other boy persists. "It's not wrong to hate something that can kill you."

... this bears some thought. Even more than usual, if he's really talking about himself. True, he's never tried to be subtle before (he appears to lack the knack entirely, outside of combat), but if there were anything that would make Naruto settle down and talk seriously, you're sure it would be whatever it is that makes adults treat him like a stray dog.

You don't know what that is, and no matter how curious you might be, you can't ask.

So what can you tell him?

"No," you say finally, "it is not wrong to fear something that can kill you. But it is-" You hesitate to use the word 'wrong' in relation to a moral issue, and finally settle on, "not constructive, to hate an entire segment of the natural world. Insects poison their prey and those who threaten their welfare; they act out of necessity, not malice. Any human would do the same."

"What if..." He shifts in the dark. "What if your bugs hurt someone you cared about?"

It's strange now to think that when you were assigned your team, you thought it'd be Naruto you'd have trouble getting along with, not the Last Uchiha. It wasn't until you'd been on Team Kakashi a month or so that you realized the reason Naruto doesn't know how to talk to people is that Naruto doesn't know how to talk to people; he's less prepared for complex social interaction than some third-year Academy students you've met. You don't know who's in charge of Konoha's childcare network, but someone somewhere along the line really dropped the ball.

Because it isn't that he isn't trying. He is. He so clearly is. He can barely remember the names of the four Hokage, but on Monday morning you overheard him telling Sasuke not to zip up the flap all the way when coming back into the tent from a midnight pee, because "Shino says his bugs like to spend some time out in the night."

You told him that three weeks ago, in the middle of a conversation it took you ten minutes to remember you'd even had.

"I would be angry at myself, I suppose." You stifle a yawn, and crack your neck. "Why? Because the hive depends on me to keep them from miscalculating. Any mistakes they made would be partially my fault.

"However," you continue, before Naruto can interject, "it would be wrong of me to linger on that self-hatred. Harm caused in the past must be acknowledged, of course, but it cannot be erased. The only thing that can be changed is one's behaviour in the present; that is the correct way to demonstrate one's sincerity in acknowledging one's failures."

You hope that makes sense; you tend to get philosophical when you're drowsy. That last bit is just what Dad told you that time he found out you hid the cookie jar under your bed, but you think it's still applicable here.

Naruto sighs, and in the dark you can't quite tell if it's out of frustration, disappointment, or relief.

"Thanks, Shino," he says, lying back down. "Sorry to talk about weird stuff while you're tryin' to sleep, I was just thinking."

"A fine habit to get into."

"Hey!"
 
Delightfully snarky and insightful at the same time.

Clan politics within Konoha aren't as complicated as popular civilian soap operas would have people believe - ninja have enough enemies as it is without feuding recreationally with their allies.

This in particular is a favorite and I'm not entirely sure why. Go you.
 
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Yummy snippet, I appreciate it. Like a fine wine.
 
Hymn of Ragnarok said:
Delightfully snarky and insightful at the same time.
Oh, my. Did I make the great and apocalyptic Hymn like Naruto for a brief shining moment? :D

Hymn of Ragnarok said:
This in particular is a favorite and I'm not entirely sure why. Go you.
I know exactly why, it was an intentional dig at fanfiction where the Hyuuga can't think of anything better to do with their time than compete with the Uchiha. It makes sense in Wallflower Quest 'cause it's obviously the result of two fathers taking shit too far for their own prides' sake, but Jesus Murphy, with some fics you wonder how these people ever thought the Hidden Village system was a good idea in the first place.

Jiven said:
Yummy snippet, I appreciate it. Like a fine wine.
I wanted to check in with Sasuke's team and decided, "Hey, everybody writes Shino in the exact same way. Let's see if I can't try something new."
 
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FurikoMaru said:
Creatively unfulfilled Furiko is creatively unfulfilled and antsy. Time for snippet.
And yet, Creatively Unfulfilled Furiko is good news for us, because it means more Cosmos Quest.

Nice job with Shino. I've only ever seen one fic with Naruto and Shino interacting regularly, and he didn't push the 'host-parasite' angle (Hinata was involved too, so Shino largely got ignored compared to the Naruto/Hinata shipping).
 
FurikoMaru said:
Oh, my. Did I make the great and apocalyptic Hymn like Naruto for a brief shining moment? :D

I-Idiot. Why would I like the dweeb?!

More seriously, the one I enjoyed more was Shino and his observations. For me Naruto was just a device to provoke said observations, and he served well enough.

I know exactly why, it was an intentional dig at fanfiction where the Hyuuga can't think of anything better to do with their time than compete with the Uchiha. It makes sense in Wallflower Quest 'cause it's obviously the result of two fathers taking shit too far for their own prides' sake, but Jesus Murphy, with some fics you wonder how these people ever thought the Hidden Village system was a good idea in the first place.

Heh, fair enough.

I wanted to check in with Sasuke's team and decided, "Hey, everybody writes Shino in the exact same way. Let's see if I can't try something new."

Atta girl, always experiment and try novelty.
 
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Guile said:
And yet, Creatively Unfulfilled Furiko is good news for us, because it means more Cosmos Quest.

Nice job with Shino. I've only ever seen one fic with Naruto and Shino interacting regularly, and he didn't push the 'host-parasite' angle (Hinata was involved too, so Shino largely got ignored compared to the Naruto/Hinata shipping).

That was the massively irritating thing about Team Eight, for me. I like NaruHina as much as the next chick, but dude, Shino's an introverted character who gets no development in canon; you don't wanna, I dunno, do something with 'im? Something besides just shunting him into the 'brains' slot on the 'beauty brains and brawn' wheel? Please?

Hymn of Ragnarok said:
I-Idiot. Why would I like the dweeb?!

More seriously, the one I enjoyed more was Shino and his observations. For me Naruto was just a device to provoke said observations, and he served well enough.
Hee. I actually worked entirely backward on that conversation, believe it or not. The whole time I was thinking about Naruto's internal conflict and what could be something helpful another kid in a roughly comparable situation could say without knowing all the details of the jinchuuriki issue (Shino's currently working under the assumption that Naruto's the child of a missing nin, since it would explain his close relationship with the Hokage [Saru is known to take what he perceives to be his failures hard] and the fact that adults have clearly been avoiding him for longer than he can remember).

Since Naruto didn't get the precious people talk, I decided to hand him some advice that I don't remember anyone in canon ever giving him instead.
 
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FurikoMaru said:
That was the massively irritating thing about Team Eight, for me. I like NaruHina as much as the next chick, but dude, Shino's an introverted character who gets no development in canon; you don't wanna, I dunno, do something with 'im? Something besides just shunting him into the 'brains' slot on the 'beauty brains and brawn' wheel? Please?
Ha, got it in one.

S'Tarkan did a lot of things right, but poor Shino.

Canon skips over him a lot (Kiba too). We don't really know anything about the guy except his bugs, his calmness, and his ability to hold a grudge until the sun falls down. What does he like to do, what does he like to eat, what's his sense of humor like?
 
I kinda like the thought of him having a major sweet tooth. Partly because of the bug connection, but partly because I think it'd be cute if he's sometimes nursing a sherbet lemon or a gobstopper behind that high collar of his.

Y'know what I'm most proud of about that snippet?

I fuckin' hate bugs.
 
FurikoMaru said:
I kinda like the thought of him having a major sweet tooth. Partly because of the bug connection, but partly because I think it'd be cute if he's sometimes nursing a sherbet lemon or a gobstopper behind that high collar of his.

Y'know what I'm most proud of about that snippet?

I fuckin' hate bugs.

i have the biggest fucking flyswatter right now.

its like 40 fucking degrees here, so i open my window for an hour, and suddenly its fly central.


Flies, moths, little flea things, and the Biggest, Fattest, Loudest bumblebee that I ever did see.


I fucking hate bugs.
 
iamnuff said:
i have the biggest fucking flyswatter right now.

its like 40 fucking degrees here, so i open my window for an hour, and suddenly its fly central.
That happens to you, too? During the spring, I'd leave my window open pretty much 24/7, except for when it was raining, and flies would always hang out on my window-screen.
 
[X] Vin's write-in

"Yamanaka Ino, the Fifth," you reply. "You okay, man? Ya look a little flushed."

Let it never be said that you are not evil.

"N-no, I'm quite fine," Mirioni stammers. "Thank you for asking, Ino-hime."

Ha! No, no, don't laugh, Ami's probably already miffed. "Not even remotely a hime," you say, shaking your head.

Jou, the blond, shrugs. "Closer'n we usually get around here. You came in with Nabiki-sama, after all." He grins. "Say, how did you know what Sensei was trying to say? Most of the time only Momiji or the teachers know what the hell he's talking about."

"It's a gift. And whaddya mean 'closer than you usually get'? There are at least two lady teachers here." Both of whom are quite dishy; Asuma-sensei's a stronger man than you, passing up a chance to have breakfast with them.

Jou laughs darkly. "Meiryoku-sensei and Sukaha-sensei ain't ladies, they're demons."

You smirk. "What happened to 'men don't complain'?"

He goes beet red. Kiba stifles a laugh, and Strong and Silent over there by the door smiles. Huh, he should do that more often; it suits 'im.

"No, you don't understand," Mirioni whispers, eyes wide. "Meiryoku-sensei has no feminine gentleness at all; she's like a yuki-onna."

Jou shakes his head. "Are you crazy? A yuki-onna at least pretends to be a real woman. Meiryoku-sensei is more like a burly oni waiting for challengers in a mountain pass, or a butcher looking over a pen of pigs in a marketplace."

"Or a teacher on the hunt for a truant student," a cool voice says dryly.

The two boys go pale, and slowly turn around with a shared sickly expression.

jojo2441s.jpg


;D Brunettes are so hot.

The two boys don't even attempt to apologize. They just stare, trembling in fear.

The statuesque stunner casts a withering gaze over them. "Jonouchi-kun," she says, "I believe Kuroashi-sensei is waiting for you in the kitchen."

"YesMeiryoku-senseithankyouseeyoulaterMirionibye!"

Wow. That is cold, right there, leavin' a buddy to face the rap alone.

"Miyamoto, it's your turn for one-on-one tutoring." She stalks off, and a slump-shouldered Mirioni trudges off behind her.

[X] Follow 'em! If she's as bad as they say you wanna make sure he doesn't get pulverized just for talking to you. Besides, this is your best lead so far on the whole what-are-the-staff-members-actually-like thing.

[X] Yeesh, the last thing X-face needs is a girl he likes watching him get his ass handed to 'im. Stick with your teammates for breakfast at least.
 
[X] Follow 'em! If she's as bad as they say you wanna make sure he doesn't get pulverized just for talking to you. Besides, this is your best lead so far on the whole what-are-the-staff-members-actually-like thing.

yay it lives again.
 
[X] Follow 'em! If she's as bad as they say you wanna make sure he doesn't get pulverized just for talking to you. Besides, this is your best lead so far on the whole what-are-the-staff-members-actually-like thing.
 
[X] Follow 'em! If she's as bad as they say you wanna make sure he doesn't get pulverized just for talking to you. Besides, this is your best lead so far on the whole what-are-the-staff-members-actually-like thing.
 
[X] Follow 'em! If she's as bad as they say you wanna make sure he doesn't get pulverized just for talking to you. Besides, this is your best lead so far on the whole what-are-the-staff-members-actually-like thing.
 
(x) Teachers, huh? Hey Kiba, that remind you of anybody?
 
[X] Yeesh, the last thing X-face needs is a girl he likes watching him get his ass handed to 'im. Stick with your teammates for breakfast at least.
 
[X] Follow 'em! If she's as bad as they say you wanna make sure he doesn't get pulverized just for talking to you. Besides, this is your best lead so far on the whole what-are-the-staff-members-actually-like thing.
 
[X] Follow 'em! If she's as bad as they say you wanna make sure he doesn't get pulverized just for talking to you. Besides, this is your best lead so far on the whole what-are-the-staff-members-actually-like thing.

The tall dark-haired boy shakes his head, and with a nod at your team, strolls casually after his friend.

"I'll be right back," you tell the others.

"Lemme know if she's as good as Nabiki-san," Kiba says in reply, cheerfully taking the last of your breakfast.

Momiji turns to see you follow him out. "Aren't you supposed to be guarding the carriage?"

"Not 'til this afternoon." You give him an appraising look. "How come you didn't tell your friends you know what we're here for?"

"If you want to laugh at Miyamoto's pain," he says, expression unchanged, "I have one request: don't do it in front of him."

"Hey!" you protest indignantly. "What kind of girl do you think I am? I just wanna make sure she doesn't leave him in traction over a stupid comment made in private."

"Hmm?" He actually looks somewhat impressed by that, you note happily. Wait. Why do you care that he's impressed? "He won't suffer any permanent damage. Meiryoku-sensei doesn't intentionally try to kill her students."

"And that's why they don't let her teach the seniors," a tall, red-haired woman says, slinging an arm over Momiji's shoulder. This disturbs you a tad, since you didn't hear her approach.

"Good morning, Sukaha-sensei," Momiji says politely.

"So this is why little Mirioni tried to ditch?" she asks, looking you up and down. She grins. "Yeah... you would be his type, wouldn't you?"

You frown. "What's that supposed to-?"

"Jou talked him into it, actually," Momiji says. "We were all interested in seeing the new mistress' style in action before her first lesson."

Sukaha snorts. "Gods save me from the delusions of freshmen! Sometimes I wonder why we were so optimistic as to include Cultural Studies on the curriculum at all." She glances at you again, nodding at Menka beside you. "You aren't even trying to hide what you are, are you?"

"No point," you say, shaking your head. "Why would anyone hire a bunch of preteens as guards if they weren't ninja?"

"And that, sadly, says it all." The redhead grimaces at your shabby surroundings. "Hisui's too proud for his own good."

The small courtyard where Mirioni and Meiryoku face each other lacks even lines in the dirt; it's pretty clear that it's a garden that's been converted into an arena.

"Good morning, Sukaha-sensei," Meiryoku says, without turning from Mirioni. Mirioni gives the other teacher a quick half-bow, and grows pink in the cheeks at the sight of you before hastily returning his attention to Meiryoku.

Sukaha shakes her head. "Poor bastard." She nods at a student standing beside a round table. "You want green tea or café au lait, Longscarf?"

"Café, sensei, thank you."

"Two cafés au lait," the redhead tells the student. Without a word, he bows and enters the building behind him. Sukaha takes a seat at the table and rests her cheek on her hand to watch the fight, smiling like a grandmother.

Meiryoku's arms are crossed and her legs together even as Mirioni slides into a ready stance. The scarred boy's eyes are fixed on his teacher; despite Momiji's earlier assurances, you can't help but notice the terror in his face.

[X] Hey, a nice seat in the shade with a pretty lady who can probably tell you how everyone here can hide their chakra from you. Don't mind if you do!

[X] Stick with Momiji. Neither of you got an invite to sit and he can probably tell you some stuff too.
 
[X] Hey, a nice seat in the shade with a pretty lady who can probably tell you how everyone here can hide their chakra from you. Don't mind if you do!
 
[X] Hey, a nice seat in the shade with a pretty lady who can probably tell you how everyone here can hide their chakra from you. Don't mind if you do!
 
[X] Hey, a nice seat in the shade with a pretty lady who can probably tell you how everyone here can hide their chakra from you. Don't mind if you do!
 
[X] Hey, a nice seat in the shade with a pretty lady who can probably tell you how everyone here can hide their chakra from you. Don't mind if you do!

Works for me.
 
[X] Hey, a nice seat in the shade with a pretty lady who can probably tell you how everyone here can hide their chakra from you. Don't mind if you do!
 

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