Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

I wouldn't dub Tree Bind as glass cannon. It's just another way to lock targets down.

We don't really have any strictly offensive techniques.

Click to shrink...

Locks them down yeah. Although we might be able to make them think they're being choked out, come to think of it.

Huh, there's an inventive use for the thing....could we make an illusion so convincing we trick someone into snapping their own neck?

But the point is, it is a confirmed way to shred the competition like wheat in a thresher. That would be why I wanted it. So that if we have to fight on our own, then despite our lack of offense we can pick our targets and make sure they get no chance to resist or dodge, not even by luck.

And yeah, let's hear it for info. Unless these are more wild cards we get nothing on?

EDIT: Also, just realized, as far as Neji is concerned, we probably only get one shot of BoD against him. So if we use it during the written exam, we can't expect it to work in the matches. Same goes for fighting in the forest.

 

[Vindictus]

I doubt we've got more then one shot of TBD against Neji, either. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if we have one shot- With chakra control like his, he'd probably see right through it even without Byakugan.

 

[uju32]

[X] Walk This Way
Pulling Lee by his arm into your group, you whisper, "Talk to me like you're pissed off about something."
"Why?" Kiba asks, confused.
"Does this look like the third floor to you? Those guys have a False Surroundings genjutsu going. And from what I can sense, they're probably chuunin under a henge."
Lee blinks. "Surely we should inform the others!"

Click to shrink...

He didn't know?
Surely Neji saw through this.
So why didn't he tell his teammate?

Or did he NOT see through it?
The first option raises a series of questions, the second suggests opportunities.

"Ino-chan!" Lee says, shocked. "This is very poor sportsmanship."

Click to shrink...

Never change, Lee.
Never change.

"In the heat~ of night, da-da-daa da-da-da, at the speed~ of light..."

Click to shrink...

*googles*
Spiderman?

Heh. 'The Professional' hasn't changed. You always kind of suspected she didn't like you, and with the tempering influence of Sagara-sensei gone it's become obvious that suspicion was correct.

Click to shrink...

Huh.
I can see where the effortless grace of a natural from a bloodline clan would grate on someone who had to work her way into her skill.
Wasn't that pretty much the issue Ami originally had with us?

Then the veteran competitors notice your age and obvious inexperience, and most of them relax a bit. They don't look any friendlier, but they no longer seem to be interested in jumping you.

Click to shrink...

Mark the ones that relaxed as easy marks.

[X] Close by the door, so you can huddle up with Lee's team, Shika, Chouji and Hinata before the exam.

Click to shrink...

Safe choice; people to watch your back and all.
Still......

[X] Over by the window with that nice squad of Konoha genin office ladies. Hm... that pink hair is familiar...

Click to shrink...

Sakura.
I've always been a bit of a Sakura fan, and it would be interesting to find out where she ended up.

Besides, if she was working in the offices before coming to this exam, she may be more clued in to recent Intelligence than even you and your cat network.
Let's just hope she doesn't dislike you as well.
Or that Kiba didn't make a pass at her teammates and fail.

My choice.

[X] Those lookers from Mist! Sure, if you're not careful they'll know as much about Konoha as you do inside thirty minutes, but one thing you can say for Whispering Mist, they don't generally kill people without a reason. (Or maybe they do. Ya never can tell with them. Still, bishie!)

Click to shrink...

Wait, what?
Whispering Mist?
The hell happened in this AU?

I'm gonna bet Suigetsu's there, given the bishie comment.
Still, I'd rather talk to Sakura; more likely we'll get intel out of her.

There. Is that better than pretending to give up?

Click to shrink...

Yup.
Works for me.

 

[FurikoMaru]

And yeah, let's hear it for info. Unless these are more wild cards we get nothing on?

Click to shrink...

They're not your usual wild cards. To understand why you don't have a lot of information on them, you first have to understand that everyone has a ton of information on Kiri.

And very very few people are sure how much of it is true and how much of it is made up.

Kirigakure no Sato is known for three things: swordsmanship, water jutsu, and their intelligence/counter-intelligence programs. Infiltration is a mandatory class in the Kiri Ninja Academy from year one up, and every shinobi is brought up understanding the vital importance of secrecy and image-maintenance in ninja work, both for the individual and for the village as a whole.

Because of the complexity of this overall conspiracy to control their image, they have decided on a low-maintenance message to give the rest of the Hidden Villages: we are friendly to everyone, and we are also batshit insane. But don't worry, that's slander spread by our enemies. Except it isn't, because we don't have enemies... any more.

I hear they killed all their bloodline users.

No, they can't've, I was just on a joint mission with a Yuki Clan member!

No, you weren't; Kiri-nin don't have family surnames, they're all assigned when they graduate from the Academy.

I hear they have free healthcare for the families of serving ninja.

Aw, sweet, the new chapters of Seven Swordsmen are out! Saizo is such a badass!

I hear they always hold at least one of the daimyo's children at any given time as fosterling-hostages to make sure the Mizukage always has a foot in regional politics.

Kyaa~! Terumi Mei's new single is coming out and the first hundred people who preorder it get a free dakimakura!

I hear they make their genin kill each other to graduate.

So you don't know much about these boys specifically, but you do know they probably won't kill you if you don't start something first. Kirigakure is only interested in civil discussions with her neighbours. ^_^ That was not a Kiri genin-candidate screaming, that was a wildcat - it's mating season, you know, they get very territorial. I wouldn't wander far from your escort, Diplomat-san. Have a pleasant trip back to Konoha!

=

As far as their appearance goes (beyond the fact that they're absurdly pretty and they all sound strong enough to be here), two of them have straight black hair and the third is a wild-looking dark-skinned blond. One of the black haired ones is a girl; she and her teammates are having a pleasant conversation with an Akimichi girl from a Konoha team (Mariko, you think; not closely-related to Chouji, doesn't really have the Akimichi look beyond having bigger muscles and more prominent bones than normal, specializes in taijutsu).

All three kids have swords strapped to their backs, but swords and those weird curved kunai are standard-issue for Kiri-nin in the field regardless of whether they're any good with them; they like to keep up the impression that any Kiri-nin is potentially one of the Seven Swordsmen or their apprentices in disguise. In the case of this group, only the black-haired boy has the tell-tale pinkie calluses of a real swordsman, but that could be the work of a henge. Ditto the chapping on the blond's hands, which you'd normally associate with a Water-user.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

I like Kiri already. Even if they could be the bane of our existence.

 

[FurikoMaru]

He didn't know?
Surely Neji saw through this.
So why didn't he tell his teammate?

Or did he NOT see through it?
The first option raises a series of questions, the second suggests opportunities.

Click to shrink...

He saw through it, he was just waiting for Tenten to notice it too so they could nonverbally agree on a surreptitious stroll up the stairs; they wanted to keep a low profile. He was thinking of a way to head up the stairs without tipping off the others when Lee told him your little Spider-plan and he decided it was practical, if a bit too showy for his tastes.

*googles*
Spiderman?

Click to shrink...

Yep. Get two more shout outs and you win a Zantetsu-ken slash.

Huh.
I can see where the effortless grace of a natural from a bloodline clan would grate on someone who had to work her way into her skill.
Wasn't that pretty much the issue Ami originally had with us?

Click to shrink...

Yeppers. In Tenten's case it's compounded by the fact that you are the only, repeat, only chick she couldn't totally dominate all the time in taijutsu back in the Academy. And you can't even fight.

Sakura.
I've always been a bit of a Sakura fan, and it would be interesting to find out where she ended up.

Click to shrink...

I'm actually rather happy I thought of this scenario, to be honest. It isn't shiny, but it's kind of neat.

My choice.Wait, what?
Whispering Mist?
The hell happened in this AU?

Click to shrink...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!

 

[hunter09]

[X] Over by the window with that nice squad of Konoha genin office ladies. Hm... that pink hair is familiar...

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

You know I am tempted to steal Tenten's weapons. All of them. Just because we can.

Keeping them in a scroll don't seem so smart now do it?!

But Neji would catch us instantly. Oh well. Something to consider if we end up fighting her.

 

[Selias]

[X] Over by the window with that nice squad of Konoha genin office ladies. Hm... that pink hair is familiar...

 

[uju32]

snip Kiri

Click to shrink...

Huh.
Sounds like someone put the Riddler in charge of a Hidden Village.
Either that, or Tobi took control of the place, and was smart about it.
I'm guessing that given there's an Akimichi talking to them, there's a good chance they're trying to pump her for info.
Dunno how much they'll get without sharing given the Akimichi bent for HUMINT, but there's a good chance they'll know about us.

He saw through it, he was just waiting for Tenten to notice it too so they could nonverbally agree on a surreptitious stroll up the stairs; they wanted to keep a low profile. He was thinking of a way to head up the stairs without tipping off the others when Lee told him your little Spider-plan and he decided it was practical, if a bit too showy for his tastes.

Click to shrink...

Ah. I was wondering....

Yep. Get two more shout outs and you win a Zantetsu-ken slash.

Click to shrink...

Yay!

Yeppers. In Tenten's case it's compounded by the fact that you are the only, repeat, only chick she couldn't totally dominate all the time in taijutsu back in the Academy. And you can't even fight.

Click to shrink...

*checks Tenten's stat block*
Speed 3? Genjutsu 1.5?
Oof.
She is really gonna hate us.
Especially if she throws kunai and we steal it out of mid-air >

I'm actually rather happy I thought of this scenario, to be honest. It isn't shiny, but it's kind of neat.

Click to shrink...

Congratulations.
I like it myself.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!

Click to shrink...

Calling it now: Tobi(not Obito) took over Mist, and remade it in his own image.
Complete with the trolling.
Because Tobi is a good boy.

 

[The Nobody]

I was originally going to vote for "Close to the door" option - you know, Bros before OLs. But since one of them is Sakura...

[x] Office Ladies in Familiar Pink

 

[Scia]

[X] Those lookers from Mist! Sure, if you're not careful they'll know as much about Konoha as you do inside thirty minutes, but one thing you can say for Whispering Mist, they don't generally kill people without a reason. (Or maybe they do. Ya never can tell with them. Still, bishie!)

And if you still accept votes,especialy as I seemed to have forgotten to send off my vote back then mark me down for [X]Bringer of Darkness.

 

[The Nobody]

Say... Is Ino good enough to design her own genjutsu yet?

 

[Unclouded]

[X] Over by the window with that nice squad of Konoha genin office ladies. Hm... that pink hair is familiar...

 

[FurikoMaru]

Say... Is Ino good enough to design her own genjutsu yet?

Click to shrink...

Yep. Lots of people do that kind of thing, but it takes on average three months to design one and test it until you have it where you want it. It's the kind of project you could start after the exams, or you could take a chance and try to Naruto it in time for the finals.

 

[Guile]

I'm comfortable betting on Ino against some random Mist genin. Unless Ino knows something about Whispering Mist that we would not know? Research perk!

In lieu of that,
[X] Those lookers from Mist! Sure, if you're not careful they'll know as much about Konoha as you do inside thirty minutes, but one thing you can say for Whispering Mist, they don't generally kill people without a reason. (Or maybe they do. Ya never can tell with them. Still, bishie!)

I don't want to meet Sakura's mom or whoever the pinkette is, I'm still sad she quit without us there to be her friend.

 

[LightMage]

If the Mist focus on information, one of our teamates might just let something slip.
Maybe.

[X] Over by the window with that nice squad of Konoha genin office ladies. Hm... that pink hair is familiar...

Now this is interesting, unless the Mist are actually not the Mist Ninja?!

 

[iamnuff]

[X] Over by the window with that nice squad of Konoha genin office ladies. Hm... that pink hair is familiar...


this, whatever.

the mist thing would probably be more challenging for us, and more fun (clever word games, trying to get information without letting anything worthwhile slip, so on and so forth) that really seems like lupin's thing, and they are probably pumping the girl with them already.

that said, i kinda don't want to get involved with them.

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] Down the street I'm the girl next door

"Say, aren't you Sakura?"

The girl turns in surprise and smiles nervously in polite confusion. "Uh, yes; who are you?"

"You probably don't remember, but we were in the same class at the Academy in our first year," you say with a grin. "Yamanaka Ino. And this is Inuzuka Kiba and Kuwabara-"

"-Ami," Sakura says, frowning slightly.

Ami blinks. "Have we met?"

Sakura's frown momentarily turns into a look of shock. Then the frown is back, stronger than before. Whatever nervousness she may have had before is now firmly under lock and key.

Your eyes flick back and forth between them, unsure of what to do. Usually it's you people have a problem with and Ami who looks on in dismay. This is an entirely new and backwards state of affairs.

"Yes," Sakura says flatly, in the end. She turns back to you and asks, in a much more cordial tone, "Was there something in particular you wanted, Ino-san?"

"Maa, Sakura-chan," says one of her teammates, a brunette woman in her early thirties from the look of her, "we aren't in the office anymore." She smiles at you. "Ino-chan, was it? I'm Sayuri."

"Pleased to meet you," you say, grinning. "We were just looking around the room and decided it was better to find a spot near some lovely Konoha kunoichi than to test our luck next to some of the other competitors in here."

"Well, you're certainly welcome over here," Sayuri says graciously, and gestures at the no-nonsense twentysomething blonde beside her. "This is Sagiso-chan, and you already know Sakura-chan, of course."

"How do you do?" Sagiso says with a polite nod.

"Three ladies in full bloom," you say, delighted by their alliterative flower names. "Do you all work together, then?"

Sayuri nods. "That's right; we're file clerks at the hospital."

"Really?" Kiba asks, incredulous. "My sister says you guys're indoors all day. When do you have time to train?"

"Oh, we find ways to stay fit," Sayuri says cheerfully. "I used to be on active duty until I met my husband, and I can still carry him under one arm and our two sons under the other." She pats Sakura on the shoulder. "Sakura-chan here's been taking night classes in iryo-ninjutsu for over a year; she's smart as a whip, so you three better watch out!" She winks at you as Sakura blushes at the praise and stammers out a token protest.

It's strange, talking so casually with someone who wears a hitai-ate about their personal business; it's like you've wandered into a civilian costume party by accident.

"If you don't mind my asking," you say, "what made you decide to participate in the exams?" You can get why a teenager or maybe even a young single woman like Sagiso would, but Sayuri has a family and doesn't seem unhappy with her job. She doesn't seem like the type to endanger her life on a whim.

She sighs. "It's all thanks to the recent budget cuts. The hospital's undergoing a restructuring and they want to put a chuunin in charge of the new merged A&DM department - Archives and Data Management," she explains. "But the only people who're already trained and know the system well enough to run the department are genin, so the girls nominated the three of us to go to the exams and hopefully get certified." She looks slightly embarrassed. "Well, it's not a very interesting story to three clan children, I suppose. Sorry to tell you our troubles."

"I'm civilian-born, actually, ma'am," Ami says.

"Are you?" Sayuri looks genuinely surprised, and - interestingly - so does Sakura. "Well, good for you, getting on a proper genin cell! That's no easy feat, from what I hear."

"Thank you," Ami replies, beaming with pride.

"I wasn't expecting so many kids to be participating," Sagiso says fretfully, looking out at the Mist boys, the 'Hina-Shika-Cho', the elite squad from Suna, and the half-dozen other unusually young teams competing. "That girl over there can't be older than eight."

"My mom says it's important to remember as a ninja that there's always someone in the world younger than you who's also stronger than you," Kiba remarks.

Before you can turn the conversation to a less unsettling topic, Dad's scariest co-worker and a dozen shinobi shunshin into the room.

"Thank you for waiting," he says, in that voice that could sound menacing ordering a taco. "I am Morino Ibiki, examiner for the first test. Rule one, there is to be no fighting without the permission of the examiner. Rule two, even if permission is granted, killing your opponent will not be tolerated. Any of you who disobey will be immediately disqualified."

His eyes sweep the room, as if daring any of the assembled hopefuls to snicker at Konoha's softness.

"Now form an orderly line and come pick up your seating assignments," he says finally, "and we'll hand out the tests."

Behind you you hear Sakura let out a sigh of relief. It's almost drowned out, however, by the small groan a few of the other people in the room let out upon realizing that no, this is not just a waiting-room and no, you're not going to be led down the hall to an open gymnasium to begin beating the living crap out of each other.

You pat Ami on the shoulder and wink. "Showtime," you say gleefully.

You're a lot less chipper when you find your seat.

It's at the end of a row, and the Kazekage's son has the spot next to it.

Menka bristles on your shoulder.

Oh, well, I didn't really wanna pass anyway, you think queasily, shifting from foot to foot, trying to decide whether to run for it or just accept the horrific death that awaits you.

Up until this point you've been trying, with varying degrees of success, to ignore the boy's chakra. So've a few other people, and you mark them down in your mind as possible sensors. There's nothing physically intimidating about him from looks alone; he's barely taller than you and he's shorter than practically everyone else in the room but the little girl Sagiso pointed out.

That's what's so creepy. Sabaku no Gaara looks perfectly harmless (aside from the bad eyeliner), but his melody is scary as fuck.

For one thing, he just has a whole hell of a lot of chakra - far past what you'd expect of most jounin, past the point where you can easily measure it, even. Naruto has something like that going on, but then, Naruto doesn't have chakra that sings in harmony with itself. Seriously, what the fucking fuck is up with that? The closest songs to this you've ever heard came from late-term pregnant women, and no baby in the world has chakra this... well, for lack of a better word, evil. You get the impression if you tapped him on the shoulder his chakra would bite your fingers off just because it could.

The redhead spots you staring as he leans back in his chair, and smirks.

"You gonna stand there until you put down roots, or you gonna have a seat?"

You're so pissed off that you forget entirely about wanting to run, and, gritting your teeth, plop down defiantly into your chair, crossing your arms.

"Just tryin' to figure out what kind of big bad ninja has to raid his sister's makeup bag for war paint," you shoot back with a smirk of your own.

For a split-second he looks legitimately shocked, and you wonder if you're about to become the first fatality of the exam.

Then he drops his head and shakes it, quietly laughing.

"Shut up," Ibiki tells everyone, and everyone does, including Gaara after a moment. "Don't turn over your test papers yet. We still have to go over the rules before we begin."

The rules are simple.

You start with ten points.

A point gets removed for every wrong answer.

You pass or fail as a team.

Every time you get caught cheating you lose two points.

People who lose all their points will be failed along with their teams.

When you turn over your paper, you groan inwardly. 'Show your work', 'show your work'... you hate having to show your work. It takes forever! It negates any pride in knowing the answer!

Thankfully there're some fun questions mixed in, like the cryptogram one. But at least half of these are beyond anything a sane person would expect even a chuunin to know - especially a field-duty one; they don't tend to be too hot with math.

So. Looks like this is one of those 'exact words' scenarios. Every time you get caught cheating you lose two points. Lose all your points and then you get thrown out. Have some pride in your skills as a ninja.

Well, now you feel a little better about some of the people in here being stronger than you'd've expected; some of them will be chuunin who've got the answers written down correctly expressly to facilitate cheating. That weird tenth question gives you pause, but knowing Ibiki-san (which you're glad you don't entirely do), it's probably going to be some kind of philosophical dilemma thing, psych you guys out.

You aren't worried about yourself. Given the time you have left you could handle these problems without too much trouble. And no matter how little love Kiba has for bookwork, Akamaru's got great distance vision; those two'll be all right as long as they're near one of the ringers.

Mostly, you're worried about Ami. She's certainly not dumb, but neither are you, and you'll have to bust your hump on some of these questions. And she not only lacks any natural cheating advantages, there're decent odds she wouldn't notice the double-talk in the rules unless you pointed it out to her.

So. What do you do, Yamanaka Ino the Fifth?

[X] Write in. Go to town.

 

[Guile]

It is kind of neat we don't have Shintenshin, so we have to cheat in new and novel ways. I'm thinking something that uses our absurd hand speed.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Well. I'm a fair bit less inclined to start shit up with fucking Gaara right behind us. Neji would be better. I think I'll be passing on popping a Bringer of Darkness, thankyouverymuch. This is the one guy who would not be much affected in raw killing power by it.

Thankfully, the plan I drafted so very, very long ago in a fit of inspiration for this exam doesn't require us to be in our seats. Lemme track it down and touch it up. We can probably do better with it.

And presence of sensors in the room is not gonna help it though. In fact it may torpedo my best idea. :/

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Eh hell with it, here it is in its (mostly) unedited glory. It is for this that I stockpiled Z-Slashes.

[X] Steal answers by hook or crook.

[X] Epic Gambit
-[X] You and possibly Ami get up to go to the bathroom, at the same time or fairly quickly. You could use this as a chance to exchange information. You could also knock out your proctor escort and leave them unconscious somewhere.

-[X] If going alone:
--[X] You and Menka return to the room under Henges. You return as the proctor, and Menka returns as a henge of you and him on your shoulder.
--[X] Menka poses as you, while you take the role of proctor and keep an eye out for cheaters. Use your position to call them out, deduct points, and send entire teams you don't like from the room. Once they leave, they really ARE disqualified. Go you!
--[X] If your teammates go to the bathroom, escort them yourself and give them the answers to the exam.

-[X] If going with Ami
--[X] Knock out your proctor escorts.
--[X] Swap information.
--[X] Menka stays behind to watch over the unconscious guards.
--[X] The humans with Ino henged as a proctor.
--[X] Thin the herd as you would alone.
--[X] If you escort someone else to the bathroom, you can consider knocking them out too, and return saying they had a mental breakdown and quit. Trick the rest of the team into leaving. Bai-bai! Incidentally, have your teammates or the pets waiting to do another ambush and put the rest of the team down.
--[X] Make another swap. Kiba goes to bathroom with you as the proctor, give him answers. Akumaru and Menka henge as body doubles. Four people return, two of them are fake proctors. Ino and Menka for proctors would be most stylish.

-[X] Optional for all: swapping places as proctor and student is acceptable if Ino personally needs to fill in answers, but for obvious reasons is not ideal so Kiba and Ami better have decent memorization skills.

-[X] Wait out the exam. When it's over and you've passed, dramatically drop your disguise and rub your victory in everyone's faces.



Sadly, giving up Shintenshin means that hijacking Ibiki and taking over the exam is pretty much completely off the table. But the lack of a perfected Shintenshin, and Ibiki probably being able to knock us out of a Shintenshin, made that pretty unlikely as it is.

But yeah. This was my grand plan for a loooooooong time.

It clearly needs some modifications though. So I am taking suggestions.

I reeeeeeeally wanna hijack the exam and use the proctor's authority to kick our teams though.

Also:





DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS PLAN UNTIL THE KINKS HAVE BEEN HAMMERED OUT!

Thank you.




So, who's got ideas for improving this beast? Remember, I have two Z-Slashes and I'm not shy about using them here.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Well, if we're following the rules the schools I attended set down, only one person at a time is allowed to use the bathroom during a test. I think that's a reasonable way to force people to get creative with their cheating, don't you?

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Well, if we're following the rules the schools I attended set down, only one person at a time is allowed to use the bathroom during a test. I think that's a reasonable way to force people to get creative with their cheating, don't you?

Click to shrink...

Knock off goin' with Ami then, possibly even going with Menka. Unless we can speed blitz everyone in the room, drop Menka off, and pop back in our seat with a Henged Ino + Menka on her shoulder.

....Hey wait a second. We have a summoning contract! Can any of the kittens do a decent Henge?

If not, yeah, gotta find some other way to do a good switch. Are any of the proctors people we could disguise ourselves as without Henge and instead use masks?

 

[FurikoMaru]

Knock off goin' with Ami then, possibly even going with Menka.

Click to shrink...

Menka cheating is not the same as you cheating; he's not taking the test, after all. Why do you think Kiba and Akamaru got away with their shtick in canon?

....Hey wait a second. We have a summoning contract! Can any of the kittens do a decent Henge?

Click to shrink...

Shirotama's daughter Ririka can because Yuji taught her. Other than her, no, not really.

If not, yeah, gotta find some other way to do a good switch. Are any of the proctors people we could disguise ourselves as without Henge and instead use masks?

Click to shrink...

Most of them are taller than you. However, one of the women is merely two inches taller than you rather than like half a foot, and you can always jury-rig something with your sandals to make up the difference.

 

[Guile]

Shintenshin'ing Ibiki... man, that would have been something.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Menka cheating is not the same as you cheating; he's not taking the test, after all. Why do you think Kiba and Akamaru got away with their shtick in canon?

Click to shrink...

Fair enough.

Shirotama's daughter Ririka can because Yuji taught her. Other than her, no, not really.

Click to shrink...

Hmm! Well it's one, that's good.

Most of them are taller than you. However, one of the women is merely two inches taller than you rather than like half a foot, and you can always jury-rig something with your sandals to make up the difference.

Click to shrink...

Jackpot. This is what Z-Slashes are for, making minor elements of a plan go perfectly.

Shintenshin'ing Ibiki... man, that would have been something.

Click to shrink...

You have no idea how much it stuck in my craw to be forced to part with that idea. NO IDEA. I wanted so bad to make the tenth question whatever we damn well pleased, and then end the exam with Ibiki leaping up on his desk and shimmy shimmying the examinees. And utterly upstaging Anko.

*tears up*

*just a little*

 

[uju32]

[X] Down the street I'm the girl next door

Click to shrink...

The Runaways - Cherry Bomb.

"-Ami," Sakura says, frowning slightly.
Ami blinks. "Have we met?"
Sakura's frown momentarily turns into a look of shock. Then the frown is back, stronger than before. Whatever nervousness she may have had before is now firmly under lock and key.

Click to shrink...

Ah yes, Ami used to bully her, right?
At least that carried over in canon.
And Ami doesn't remember.

"Oh, we find ways to stay fit," Sayuri says cheerfully. "I used to be on active duty until I met my husband, and I can still carry him under one arm and our two sons under the other." She pats Sakura on the shoulder. "Sakura-chan here's been taking night classes in iryo-ninjutsu for over a year; she's smart as a whip, so you three better watch out!" She winks at you as Sakura blushes at the praise and stammers out a token protest.

Click to shrink...

I LIKE this lady
And here we have a Sakura who is driven for once.
Nice.
Wonder if her father/mother are ninja like in the Naruto AU movie; that might account for her drive.

She sighs. "It's all thanks to the recent budget cuts. The hospital's undergoing a restructuring and they want to put a chuunin in charge of the new merged A&DM department - Archives and Data Management," she explains. "But the only people who're already trained and know the system well enough to run the department are genin, so the girls nominated the three of us to go to the exams and hopefully get certified." She looks slightly embarrassed. "Well, it's not a very interesting story to three clan children, I suppose. Sorry to tell you our troubles."
"I'm civilian-born, actually, ma'am," Ami says.
"Are you?" Sayuri looks genuinely surprised, and - interestingly - so does Sakura. "Well, good for you, getting on a proper genin cell! That's no easy feat, from what I hear."

Click to shrink...

Shades of a Konoha class system.
I wonder how many nukenin went ronin due to that resentment?
And Ami so nice and proper
And Sakura shows interest; don't give up!

Before you can turn the conversation to a less unsettling topic, Dad's scariest co-worker and a dozen shinobi shunshin into the room.

Click to shrink...

Familarity breeds, if not contempt, at least

"Thank you for waiting," he says, in that voice that could sound menacing ordering a taco. "I am Morino Ibiki, examiner for the first test. Rule one, there is to be no fighting without the permission of the examiner. Rule two, even if permission is granted, killing your opponent will not be tolerated. Any of you who disobey will be immediately disqualified."

Click to shrink...

Finally!
An outbreak of common sense! Who'd a thunk it?
I always thought killing off your junior ranks in an exam was fuckstupid.

It's at the end of a row, and the Kazekage's son has the spot next to it.
*snip*
That's what's so creepy. Sabaku no Gaara looks perfectly harmless (aside from the bad eyeliner), but his melody is scary as fuck.
*snip*
For one thing, he just has a whole hell of a lot of chakra - far past what you'd expect of most jounin, past the point where you can easily measure it, even. Naruto has something like that going on, but then, Naruto doesn't have chakra that sings in harmony with itself.

Click to shrink...

Sabaku no Gaara.
A Gaara in control of his bijuu.
Damn.
You're gonna have issues.

The redhead spots you staring as he leans back in his chair, and smirks.
*snip*
Then he drops his head and shakes it, quietly laughing.

Click to shrink...

A well-adjusted Gaara.
Wonders will never cease.

Mostly, you're worried about Ami. She's certainly not dumb, but neither are you, and you'll have to bust your hump on some of these questions. And she not only lacks any natural cheating advantages, there're decent odds she wouldn't notice the double-talk in the rules unless you pointed it out to her.
So. What do you do, Yamanaka Ino the Fifth?

Click to shrink...

Audacity.

 

[uju32]

Menka cheating is not the same as you cheating; he's not taking the test, after all.

Click to shrink...

Wait, what?
Are you sure?
What stops Menka from taking our finished paper and switching it with Ami's?
Hell, what stops us from finishing, walking over to Ami and blatantly switching papers, accepting the two point penalty for an 8/10 score?

Two questions:
How fast can Ino finish her paper?
And is she up to writing two papers in the time given?

 

[FurikoMaru]

The Runaways - Cherry Bomb.

Click to shrink...

One to go~

Ah yes, Ami used to bully her, right?
At least that carried over in canon.
And Ami doesn't remember.

Click to shrink...

Shit, if I remembered the face and name of every kid I was a bitch to in elementary school I'd have no room in my head for Simpsons quotes.

I LIKE this lady
And here we have a Sakura who is driven for once.
Nice.
Wonder if her father/mother are ninja like in the Naruto AU movie; that might account for her drive.

Click to shrink...

Her father's a clerk-chuunin, her mother's a retired genin who runs a women's self-defence class for civilians.

Shades of a Konoha class system.
I wonder how many nukenin went ronin due to that resentment?

Click to shrink...

It's pretty mild by Hidden Village standards. Konoha hasn't got a reputation for being 'soft' for nothing.

Finally!
An outbreak of common sense! Who'd a thunk it?
I always thought killing off your junior ranks in an exam was fuckstupid.

Click to shrink...

Ibiki agrees. Anko does not.

Sabaku no Gaara.
A Gaara in control of his bijuu.
Damn.
You're gonna have issues.

Click to shrink...

Whole volumes of Bad Time, if I can manage it. )