Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[Guile]

[X] "No offense, dad- But I don't trust the guy who put the shit in to take it out without leaving some other present behind for me to find later. Besides, I've kind of sworn an oath to kill him dead, and I take that sort of thing serious-like."

Click to shrink...

As the actress said to the bishop.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

[X] Oh-ho, screw subtle. You are pissed. Time to take full advantage of that little genjutsu Dad mentioned. "UCHIHA FUCKING ITACHI? THAT'S OUR NEW ALLY TO THE EAST?!"

Sounds most fun. Emotionally manipulating our father is a low blow, but we are pissed and we do need to vent a bit I think.

And funny.

 

[Vindictus]

As the actress said to the bishop.

Click to shrink...

Double entendre is best entendre.

I mean, how many times have you heard of a single entendre being used anyway? Or a half-entendre?

Doubles all the way down.

 

[MHLord]

[X] So, is this one of those 'two wrongs make a right' things? Like, Itachi gets to dive back into my head, and that somehow makes everything okay?
[X] I mean, obviously if you trust him to fix it it's not an issue in the first place because he can be trusted. Though that does bring up the question of why he did it in the first place, unless you don't trust him and he expected he'd need a bargaining chip for this very gambit... how far ahead was he planning this?
[X] ... Are the other Uchiha still dead?

 

[Jack Trade]

[X] Oh-ho, screw subtle. You are pissed. Time to take full advantage of that little genjutsu Dad mentioned. "UCHIHA FUCKING ITACHI? THAT'S OUR NEW ALLY TO THE EAST?!"

 

[FurikoMaru]

[2] "Hey dad, did I ever tell you about a letter I sent to Uchiha Itachi after the massacre? It contained an oath to turn his skull into a beer mug." Stare at your father for a moment. "Now should I be worried about that oath becoming relvent in the near future?"

[X] Play on the parental guilt and see what you can overhear from Dad's chakra. "Dad? ... if the Otokage were Uchiha Itachi... you'd tell me, right?"

Plan(s) Guile:

[2] So, is this one of those 'two wrongs make a right' things? Like, Itachi gets to dive back into my head, and that somehow makes everything okay?
[2] I mean, obviously if you trust him to fix it it's not an issue in the first place because he can be trusted. Though that does bring up the question of why he did it in the first place, unless you don't trust him and he expected he'd need a bargaining chip for this very gambit... how far ahead was he planning this?
[2] ... Are the other Uchiha still dead?

Alternatively

[2] Holy shit the head guys were right Oto is one of ours fuck my brain.
[2] So this is what it's like being on the receiving end for once. Not an experience I'd recommend- I may have to apologize to... like... everybody.

[1] "No offense, dad- But I don't trust the guy who put the shit in to take it out without leaving some other present behind for me to find later. Besides, I've kind of sworn an oath to kill him dead, and I take that sort of thing serious-like."

[2] Oh-ho, screw subtle. You are pissed. Time to take full advantage of that little genjutsu Dad mentioned. "UCHIHA FUCKING ITACHI? THAT'S OUR NEW ALLY TO THE EAST?!"

So... tie-breaker?

 

[The Nobody]

[+1] "Hey dad, did I ever tell you about a letter I sent to Uchiha Itachi after the massacre? It contained an oath to turn his skull into a beer mug." Stare at your father for a moment. "Now should I be worried about that oath becoming relvent in the near future?"

 

[Unclouded]

[X] So, is this one of those 'two wrongs make a right' things? Like, Itachi gets to dive back into my head, and that somehow makes everything okay?
[X] I mean, obviously if you trust him to fix it it's not an issue in the first place because he can be trusted. Though that does bring up the question of why he did it in the first place, unless you don't trust him and he expected he'd need a bargaining chip for this very gambit... how far ahead was he planning this?
[X] ... Are the other Uchiha still dead?

 

[The Nobody]

Anyway, if this conversation has another pick-options break, I'm going to choose whatever option allows to talk things over with Inoichi. I'd figure, pooling the knowledge (not all of it, because ninja, etc) with the head of Konoha Intelligence division (unless I'm mistaken and that's Shika's dad) should bring at least some benefits.

I was going to say "Ino can trust her dad", but then the latest post happened, and she might be understandably confused.

 

[Torgamous]

[X] So, is this one of those 'two wrongs make a right' things? Like, Itachi gets to dive back into my head, and that somehow makes everything okay?
[X] I mean, obviously if you trust him to fix it it's not an issue in the first place because he can be trusted. Though that does bring up the question of why he did it in the first place, unless you don't trust him and he expected he'd need a bargaining chip for this very gambit... how far ahead was he planning this?
[X] ... Are the other Uchiha still dead?

 

[FurikoMaru]

You glare.

[X] "So, is this one of those 'two wrongs make a right' things? Like, Itachi gets to dive back into my head, and that somehow makes everything okay?"

Inoichi's chakra shuts down.

Oh, that is infinitely creepier than just meeting someone I can't read! Ew, ew, ew, my dad just turned into a zombie right in front of me!

Focus, kiddo.

"That information does not leave this room, do you hear me?" your father demands, his calm evaporating. "If Ibiki even suspects you might know there will be nothing I can do to prevent him from taking you in."

With a jolt, you see a hung-over Sasuke wander into the kitchen in a pair of blue pajamas with fans on them. The pants end about an inch above his ankles, and you realize he must have been through a growth spurt in the last year; between his odd predilection for shorts and you growing too, you never really noticed. Just as he completely fails to notice either of you as he lets out a phlegmy grumble and spits into the sink. Gross.

You turn back to your dad. "The Otokage's a public figure. Wouldn't I have found out eventually anyway?"

"Oh, Ino, you're too smart for your own good..." Inoichi laments under his breath, massaging his furrowed brow. "Yes, eventually everyone will know. But you can't know before everyone else knows. You're in a blood pact with Sasuke to kill the man!"

"Well of course I'm not going to tell Sakkun until I know the whole story!" you hiss. "If you think I'm pissed...!"

"You're not getting the whole story, Ino," Dad says coldly, getting to his feet. "You weren't even supposed to get half of it."

"Well I'm sorry you're such a crappy intelligence agent, then!" you say incredulously. Is he seriously blaming you for his inability to keep his mouth shut? He was the one who started this secret-telling thing in the first damn place!

Hey, you wanna lay off your old man? He just wants you to be safe.

Yeesh, would it kill you to side with me? I'm you, for god's sake!

No, Ino, you used to be. And when you were, you didn't have a Dad who'd take the time to give you a heads up on impending invasions or keep you out of torture chambers, so how about being a little more appreciative of what you've got, here?

'Torture and Interrogation' isn't meant to be taken literally, dumbass!

"Don't you dare take that tone with me, young lady," Inoichi says warningly.

You sigh. "Yeah... yeah, shit, I'm sorry." Leaning forward on your elbows, you rest your chin in your hand and think.

[X] "I mean, obviously if you trust Itachi to fix it it's not an issue-"

"Trust him?" Your father snorts. "Sweetheart, I told you about his offer because I didn't want to keep the choice from you if you thought the risk was worth it. You're legally an adult now; as much as I don't like it, you're allowed to make your own decisions. There might be no other way to remove the compulsion, after all."

"... how long has he been planning this return?" you ask in disbelief.

Dad sighs. "My guess is, a good while before he actually left." He glances over at the fridge, where Sasuke stands leaning on the door in bleary-eyed contemplation of the milk and/or orange juice. "And that is truly that. The genjutsu should wear off in half an hour and I need to be long gone by then. I need you to intercept Kakashi on the Heron St footbridge in fifty minutes and bring Sasuke with you. Tell that masked dingbat he can drill teamwork all he damn well pleases as long as he stops dragging his feet on bringing his students up to their full potential." Inoichi opens the window. "And you're not fighting Sabaku no Gaara."

"Wait!" you say, getting to your feet. "That's all I'm allowed to kn-?"

"The seals can be deactivated with a dash, a dot, two dashes, and then two dots," he says over his shoulder, swinging out the window. "They shouldn't leave any trace."

And he's gone.

Mentally, you curse the lack of decent coffee to be had in this town. If any situation calls for a caffeine and nicotine breakfast, this is it. You're currently keeping a lid on your worry over what kind of probably-S-rank loons think they have a shot at invading Konoha without village backing, your anger at still being kept in the dark about Itachi (what, was your dad just going to let you walk into that trap without telling you about him? Christ, were you right back then about Shisui being on a long-term undercover mission, and Itachi's involved in that somehow? Are there any other survivors of the massacre floating around? Hell, was there a massacre?), and your sheer panic at what the hell you're supposed to tell Sasuke and when.

Is that a joke? There's no telling what crazy thing he'll try to do if you tell him now.

He'll be even more pissed if I keep him out of my investigation.

You take the half hour to think it over. You deactivate the seals, you have a shower, and you come back downstairs.

"G'm'rn'n," Sasuke murmurs into his cornflakes.

"And what did we learn about lowered inhibitions this time?" you ask with false cheer.

There is a long pause. "... did I get arrested for something?"

"I'd definitely say 'picking a fight with the odds-on favourite for victor of the whole exam, and then taking on half an ANBU division' counts as something, so yeah."

"Oh, god, I thought I dreamt that," Sasuke groans miserably.

"There's something else," you say, having come to a decision.

[X] "The Otokage is apparently really bad news, but we're making an alliance with him anyway. Keep on your guard around Team Deidara, all right?" There. That's all he currently needs to know, and you can always tell him it's Itachi later, when you actually have something to report.

[X] "My dad wants us to meet Kakashi before he shows up to the training grounds and tell him he's unofficially ordered to become a hands-on teacher posthaste." You were right before. Giving Sasuke hints about things not being quite right could make him start looking into stuff on his own, and then you have no control over when he finds out and what happens when he does.

[X] Sasuke has a right to know, damn it. "Don't tell anyone and don't go off on a crazy rampage, but I just found out the Otokage is Itachi."

 

[Silversun17]

[X] "My dad wants us to meet Kakashi before he shows up to the training grounds and tell him he's unofficially ordered to become a hands-on teacher posthaste." You were right before. Giving Sasuke hints about things not being quite right could make him start looking into stuff on his own, and then you have no control over when he finds out and what happens when he does.

 

[cyberswordsmen]

[X] "My dad wants us to meet Kakashi before he shows up to the training grounds and tell him he's unofficially ordered to become a hands-on teacher posthaste." You were right before. Giving Sasuke hints about things not being quite right could make him start looking into stuff on his own, and then you have no control over when he finds out and what happens when he does.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Damn damn damn. Yep, figuring out what to do to Sasuke is going to be a bastard and a half. He probably shouldn't even know about the alliance bit, even if Shika did already figure it out and start dispensing the information to some people (I think).

Inoichi wasn't very smart here though. He should have extracted a response or acknowledgement from Ino on his order when she was clearly dragging her feet earlier. Give him more of a sign, or we straight up lie of defy him after saying we didn't. Us having given a promise SHOULD make us more leery of breaking it, and if we do anyway.....well, better he know.

Geez. Tough call.

We may want to Throne Sasuke for a private conversation about Itachi though. If we do that. Beats saying it in public, that's for sure.

Inoichi may still be listening.

 

[Guile]

> 'Torture and Interrogation' isn't meant to be taken literally, dumbass!
I guess there's no cure for naivete but age.

Not sure what to vote for just yet. We're not ready to kill Itachi, not that Konoha would even let us now, and any of the others are 'Sasuke-breaks-all-ties-when-he-finds-out-about-it.'

Well, I guess we are the clan heiress of the mind techniques. Can Lupin hold onto this bit of info for us so we don't have to choose between these two terrible, terrible choices?

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Well, I guess we are the clan heiress of the mind techniques. Can Lupin hold onto this bit of info for us so we don't have to choose between these two terrible, terrible choices?

Click to shrink...

That's...quite possibly the single most weak-willed choice we can make, and it dumps all burden on Lupin. Even justifying it as, "Make our reaction natural when we find out," is.....yeah, no. Firmly against this choice. Even after the fact it's just running away from the responsibility. Plus, Inoichi might notice.

 

[1234q1234q]

"That information does not leave this room, do you hear me?" your father demands, his calm evaporating. "If Ibiki even suspects you might know there will be nothing I can do to prevent him from taking you in."

Click to shrink...

Let's not get the scary people involved. Better yet, let's not drag Sasuke into this. This is classified and protected information. Telling is not a move, that should be made, based on feelings. Costs people, think of the costs.


[X] "My dad wants us to meet Kakashi before he shows up to the training grounds and tell him he's unofficially ordered to become a hands-on teacher posthaste." You were right before. Giving Sasuke hints about things not being quite right could make him start looking into stuff on his own, and then you have no control over when he finds out and what happens when he does.

 

[Redon]

[X] "My dad wants us to meet Kakashi before he shows up to the training grounds and tell him he's unofficially ordered to become a hands-on teacher posthaste." You were right before. Giving Sasuke hints about things not being quite right could make him start looking into stuff on his own, and then you have no control over when he finds out and what happens when he does.

 

[Guile]

That's...quite possibly the single most weak-willed choice we can make, and it dumps all burden on Lupin. Even justifying it as, "Make our reaction natural when we find out," is.....yeah, no. Firmly against this choice. Even after the fact it's just running away from the responsibility. Plus, Inoichi might notice.

Click to shrink...

In just about every way, having this knowledge is going to fuck us over.

If we have the opportunity, why not take the easy choice? We're 13. We're allowed.

 

[uju32]

Huh.
So now we know

1) Dad can shut down this chakra to deny sensors a look at his emotions.
Cool trick to learn.
Anyone else notice that Inoichi became outwardly demonstrative at the same time he shut off our ability to read his chakra for confirmation of what he said?
Or am I just being paranoid?

2) T and I isn't meant to be taken literally?
Is Ino that naive, or is she right that it's a bit of stagecraft?
Or both?

3)Kakashi has been babying his team, and the higher ups let him.
That suggests that they didn't see the need for a combat ready jinchuuriki before, despite the loss of the Uchiha clan.
That lends credence to Ino's theory of shenanigans, and it says interesting things about the power balance in the Elemental Countries, as well as raising questions about how many Uchiha actually died, and how many are alive and undercover.
And the sudden need for accelerated training NOW makes me wonder what's changed.

Inoichi knowing where to find Kakashi in fifty minutes lends credence to the idea that meetings have been happening above and around our head.

4) WAS there a massacre?
Or did Sasuke just get mindraped into believing there was one?
Because if we didn't see the bodies, I begin to wonder.

5) WHY is no one concerned about the loyalty of the last(?) Uchiha when they go making these alliances?
Is it a manifestation of the same blind spot that had internal security lacking inside Konoha, or is there a deeper plan?

At the moment I'm leaning towards saying nothing, by the way

@Guile
We did promise Dad not to say anything until we got the full story.
And we don't have the full story.
So we do have some cover there.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

In just about every way, having this knowledge is going to fuck us over.

If we have the opportunity, why not take the easy choice? We're 13. We're allowed.

Click to shrink...

We're kinda on the fast track for being one of the higher ups. The tendency to run away from our problems....

That's not even healthy or responsible with ourselves. That's essentially some hardcore repression. Yes, it's going to suck, but just going, "I'm not gonna deal with this shit so I'm gonna to prevent this from happening," is just awful. I can't even put into words how reprehensible I find the idea, hearing it just provokes a gut reaction of this is wrong wrong wrong.

I do get where you're coming from, I just can't condone it. The only reason that I find remotely palatable is us essentially going deep undercover with our own mind because if we give away the game that's even worse, and at least Lupin can tell us if we need to know. We haven't hit that point yet though, I think.

Kind of the same with Sasuke. Yes, he most definitely deserves to know, but if something important really is going on in the background, it's in our best interests to not give away to anyone that we know this info. But at least we can fill people in if it becomes truly necessary.

Not that Sasuke will agree at the heat of the moment....or maybe even afterwards.....

 

[Guile]

1) Dad can shut down this chakra to deny sensors a look at his emotions.
Cool trick to learn.
Anyone else notice that Inoichi became outwardly demonstrative at the same time he shut off our ability to read his chakra for confirmation of what he said?
Or am I just being paranoid?

Click to shrink...

Well, there are readings that don't put a paranoid spin on things (he was being extra demonstrative because he knew he just shut down a sense we rely on about people), but I could just as easily see something... else, there. Manipulating Ino for her own good or some such.

2) T and I isn't meant to be taken literally?
Is Ino that naive, or is she right that it's a bit of stagecraft?
Or both?

Click to shrink...

Depends how many Yamanaka they have on staff, I guess.

3)Kakashi has been babying his team, and the higher ups let him.
That suggests that they didn't see the need for a combat ready jinchuuriki before, despite the loss of the Uchiha clan.
That lends credence to Ino's theory of shenanigans, and it says interesting things about the power balance in the Elemental Countries, as well as raising questions about how many Uchiha actually died, and how many are alive and undercover.
And the sudden need for accelerated training NOW makes me wonder what's changed.

Click to shrink...

This could just be Inoichi's opinion. I mean, he was training our sensing the second our body was ready for it; he might just consider Kakashi a lazy slug in comparison.

The scenario you put forth has potential, though.

5) WHY is no one concerned about the loyalty of the last(?) Uchiha when they go making these alliances?
Is it a manifestation of the same blind spot that had internal security lacking inside Konoha, or is there a deeper plan?

Click to shrink...

Simply a matter of ninja economics, I suspect. On the one hand, an S-rank Uchiha leading an entire Hidden Village willing to ally with us. On the other, a rank B at best genin, albeit an actually loyal one.

Not a very hard choice for the top brass to make.

@Guile
We did promise Dad not to say anything until we got the full story.
And we don't have the full story.
So we do have some cover there.

Click to shrink...

I'm sure Sasuke would accept that reasoning. He's a very reasonable person.

 

[uju32]

Well, there are readings that don't put a paranoid spin on things (he was being extra demonstrative because he knew he just shut down a sense we rely on about people), but I could just as easily see something... else, there. Manipulating Ino for her own good or some such.

Click to shrink...

Distinct possibility.

This could just be Inoichi's opinion. I mean, he was training our sensing the second our body was ready for it; he might just consider Kakashi a lazy slug in comparison.

Click to shrink...

Actually, he was slow-rolling a lot of our training IIRC.

The scenario you put forth has potential, though.
Simply a matter of ninja economics, I suspect. On the one hand, an S-rank Uchiha leading an entire Hidden Village willing to ally with us. On the other, a rank B at best genin, albeit an actually loyal one.
Not a very hard choice for the top brass to make.

Click to shrink...

And Danzo-levels of stupid short sightedness.
An ally of convenience, in another village? One who's already betrayed you once?
Or your own chance to restart an entire line of loyal bloodline shinobi?

Even if Itachi is an undercover agent, this hurts village morale, by giving loyal ninja the impression that they will be sold out if the occassion warrants it.
I mean, everyone understands realpolitik, but having it rubbed in your face.....

I would sincerely be interested in the complications that make this necessary.
Is Tobi coming to Konoha again?

I'm sure Sasuke would accept that reasoning. He's a very reasonable person.

Click to shrink...

Guilt trip him.
We also happen to be the one with a trap in our head after all.

 

[Guile]

Is Tobi coming to Konoha again?

Click to shrink...

There aren't many other options that I see. Akatsuki is ruling Rain.

I suppose this could be some kind of fakeout on Itachi's part, a way to apply pressure. Who can say?

 

[Selias]

[X] "My dad wants us to meet Kakashi before he shows up to the training grounds and tell him he's unofficially ordered to become a hands-on teacher posthaste." You were right before. Giving Sasuke hints about things not being quite right could make him start looking into stuff on his own, and then you have no control over when he finds out and what happens when he does.

"The seals can be deactivated with a dash, a dot, two dashes, and then two dots," he says over his shoulder, swinging out the window. "They shouldn't leave any trace."

Click to shrink...

Is that morse code? "TEMI?"

 

[Selias]

Whoops. Double post.

 

[The Nobody]

[X] "My dad wants us to meet Kakashi before..."

 

[FurikoMaru]

Is that morse code? "TEMI?"

Click to shrink...

Y I, actually.

 

[uju32]

There aren't many other options that I see. Akatsuki is ruling Rain.
I suppose this could be some kind of fakeout on Itachi's part, a way to apply pressure. Who can say?

Click to shrink...

Well, the Rain 3 are ruling Rain.
Dunno if the other canon elements of Akatsuki are still hooked up with Tobi.
Or what Orochimaru is up to.

We do need to remember to ask Sasuke about if he saw cousin Shisui's body before it was buried.
Or if there is a burial place; as clan head, he would have the right to check the bodies.
And after Itachi's reveal as the Otokage, Sauce will have motivation to go looking for evidence of shenanigans.

 

[Guile]

Well, the Rain 3 are ruling Rain.
Dunno if the other canon elements of Akatsuki are still hooked up with Tobi.
Or what Orochimaru is up to.

We do need to remember to ask Sasuke about if he saw cousin Shisui's body before it was buried.
Or if there is a burial place; as clan head, he would have the right to check the bodies.
And after Itachi's reveal as the Otokage, Sauce will have motivation to go looking for evidence of shenanigans.

Click to shrink...

I'm inclined to think Shisui really is dead.

The rest of the Uchiha, however, were just gone.