Cu-nosuba: God’s Blessing on This Lancer’s Holy Grail War!

[Sliverhero]

Had a thought what if what ever shirou did ends up making kazuma a beast of humanity and taking the completed role of a certain angry Mango.

 

[Davos]

I mean, why wouldn't he


She deserved it though

Click to shrink...

[/QUOTE]

The different format threw me off for a bit.

As for the screaming, it is not an origin bullet, just sheer rage at dying to Shirou. I'll make it more obvious in the next chapter.

As for Karna not using his np against Vlad...I should say he did not expect to fight the vampire of legend and that being in the garden he was weakened...but I'll just admit I forgot his np and that having him at full strength would make most any attempt of a threat appearing be non existent.

 

[Sliverhero]

The different format threw me off for a bit.

As for the screaming, it is not an origin bullet, just sheer rage at dying to Shirou. I'll make it more obvious in the next chapter.

[/QUOTE]

A pissed off Kazuma is going to lock in, as an example when he was fully drunk, and doesnt have to listen to his doubts he was able to take out and capture a fully grown Rookie Killer. Where by his own stats and abilites anyone else would have died.
So now a raged filled Kazuma is going to go after shirou and even that fight is going to give Gil whip lash.
Also here is something else Kazuma does figure out how to Teleport out and into the afterlife as shown in the final volume of Konosuba. He does it to visit Eris and it doesnt seem to cost much mana.

As for Karna not using his np against Vlad...I should say he did not expect to fight the vampire of legend and that being in the garden he was weakened...but I'll just admit I forgot his np and that having him at full strength would make most any attempt of a threat appearing be non existent.
[/QUOTE]

It is an Mana hog you could say he sense something and didn't want to be weaken if if it came.

 

[alextheconqueror]

The different format threw me off for a bit.

Click to shrink...

It was mostly a mishap when I was writing And usually copy paste the start and end of the quotes to make it more easy to understand what I mean but sometimes I make mistakes so that's it

As for the screaming, it is not an origin bullet, just sheer rage at dying to Shirou. I'll make it more obvious in the next chapter.

Click to shrink...

Oh thank god I was worried, now let's wait for Aqua to revive him and Kazuma to lock in, this will be good

As for Karna not using his np against Vlad...I should say he did not expect to fight the vampire of legend and that being in the garden he was weakened...but I'll just admit I forgot his np and that having him at full strength would make most any attempt of a threat appearing be non existent.

Click to shrink...

Let's just say he forgot in a complete Konosuba fashion

 

[alextheconqueror]

@Davos solved the problems(I think) should be more easy to read now

 

[Davos]

@Davos solved the problems(I think) should be more easy to read now

Click to shrink...

Thank you. Was still able to read, just surprised after the prior comments.

 

[alextheconqueror]

Thank you. Was still able to read, just surprised after the prior comments.

Click to shrink...

No worries, happens to me a lot, should see when I try to make challenges in the Chaos Gacha thread, there's some time since I did the last one now that I think about it

 

[Davos]

No worries, happens to me a lot, should see when I try to make challenges in the Chaos Gacha thread, there's some time since I did the last one now that I think about it

Click to shrink...

What is this chaos gacha? A fic?

 

[alextheconqueror]

What is this chaos gacha? A fic?

Click to shrink...

It's more of a supplement for writting, basically you make your MC complete tasks or feats and then roll the ticket they get from that feat(Scaled by how difficult or impressive the feat is), there's this site the creator of Chaos gacha made to roll the tickets and it has a lot of things and it also have some customization, for example you can toggle the options like only having tech based powers and items or classic familiars(no human sapience ones) and pg 13(no lewds), there's also the curses that you can roll and inflict on your MC at the start for more tickets at the start and have a problem that your MC needs to solve
Basically like Wiki warrior or the celestial system but more easy to deal with

 

[Davos]

It's more of a supplement for writting, basically you make your MC complete tasks or feats and then roll the ticket they get from that feat(Scaled by how difficult or impressive the feat is), there's this site the creator of Chaos gacha made to roll the tickets and it has a lot of things and it also have some customization, for example you can toggle the options like only having tech based powers and items or classic familiars(no human sapience ones) and pg 13(no lewds), there's also the curses that you can roll and inflict on your MC at the start for more tickets at the start and have a problem that your MC needs to solve
Basically like Wiki warrior or the celestial system but more easy to deal with

Click to shrink...

Neat. sorry for late reply, went to work.

 

[alextheconqueror]

Neat. sorry for late reply, went to work.

Click to shrink...

As I said don't worry, rl comes first
But let me tell you the most fun part of the Chaos Gacha is the randomness, sometimes you have something planned but the gacha have other idea, sometimes it feels sentient like two Shinji SI using CG, one literally hadn't luck in getting any power up until he got the Uchiha trait and the other was on the path of "Unga bunga Imma punch ya"
I had some pretty thematically builds myself, just didn't made them stories yet

 

[Davos]

"Who the Hell are you?!" Aqua shouts while kneeling at Kazuma's corpse.

"I'm a hero of justice." Emiya says while looking at an enraged Emiya before loud noises above gets him looking up.

"What kind of terrible hero sneaks up on people and shoots them before they can react?! Wait, that's something Kazuma would do…" Aqua says, making Shirou point his gun at her, eliciting a cry.

"Don't compare me to-" He stops when he hears the other Emiya say the same words.

He shakes his head as screams and thrashing is heard above.

'Nothing for me to worry about up there…Got Rin, Setanta, and…myself to contend w-' Shirou's thoughts stop when a dozen golems look at him with red eyes, a small girl in a big hat glaring at him with even more crimson eyes next to a helmeted man chewing menacingly. He looks over and sees Cu Chulainn approach alongside a half naked muscular man and a shapely blonde in slightly skimpy black robes, all of them cracking their knuckles. Near them is a familiar looking blonde in red with a sword and a biker loading a shotgun. Rin approaches with a raised, glowing hand.

A foppish looking man writes in the distance.

He feels a tugging on his sleeve. Looking down he sees a white haired girl looking at him with tiny eyes while sharpening two knives against each other with bizarre alacrity.

"W-when did you get-"

"We're going to kill you." She says.

"…You remind me of Illya on that one night…" Shirou mutters before dropping a few canisters from his sleeve and closing his eyes.



===



"Send me back!" Kazuma shouts.

"No!" Alaya shouts back.

"That is not your decision to make! This is my domain Alaya and-"

"Eris, send him back!" Aqua shouts from above.

"Lady Aqua! You're undermining my authority again!"

"We don't have your time for your pretend authority! Kazuma was shot in the head and there is a very short window of time for revival!"

"No! I want him dead and he deserves it! Do you have any idea what he caused?! And he insulted me!"

"He insults everybody, you're not special!"

"What the Hell Aqua?!" Kazuma and Alaya ask at the same time.

"It's true! Now get you're dumb ass back here!"

"Who are you to call me a dumb ass?!" Kazuma shouts while floating back when he hears odd and familiar words.

"My will cweates your body, and your sword cweates my dewstiny…"



===

Gilgamesh fires more spears and swords, carrying an ever groaning Artoria. His weapons are shot back at him with increased intensity.

"Ha…ha…ha…" Lancelot makes a note of uttering while looking at Gilgamesh.

"You mad mongrel…You dare taunt me?!" Gilgamesh says, eliciting a howling laugh before Lancelot charges forward, side stepping both Medea's and Semiramis' barrage. He almost gets close to cleave Gilgamesh and Artoria when golden chains loop around his neck.

"Hmph…A truly unpleasant surprise, but even you cannot break this chain. It is too good a leash for-" The crack of bone as Lancelot's neck and torso breaks in unnatural angles silence Gilgamesh as Lancelot contorts out of the chains before kicking both kings into a wall.

"O Lord-" Jeanne starts before a blackened hand cups her mouth. She glares at the enrage knight, her eye becoming yellow as she scowls.

Then they return to their normal blue as she smiles under his palm.

Even in his unending rage this makes Lancelot pause, a memory threatening to resurface.

The memory rises when Jeanne bites down on his hand, eliciting a new type of howl as armor is crunched before he shakes his hand, desperate to remove the biting Saint.

"…What in the Lord's name…?" Shirou mutters as he gets up from Semiramis' fluffy pillow of a beast.



===

Young Shirou takes the chance from the flash bang to run for the stairs, only for them to become golems and stare him down.

'Alaya, why aren't you teleporting me out?' Shirou thinks at her.

'Well…few reasons…one, you still need to kill Mordred.'

'I killed her Master, Kazuma, she won't be around for long!'

'Kazuma's not her Master, Kairi is! He's the older buff guy in a leather jacket with a shotgun!'

'…I could really have used that info before making myself known! You really suck at briefings…How has humanity survived this long?'

'I know, but you don't have to be mean about it! Also, Kazuma's not staying dead…But I got a plan for that!'

'The Hell you mean he's not staying- Oh, I like this plan~.' Shirou thinks with a smile.

Kazuma sits up with a gasp. After calming down he stands up and freezes at the sight to his left.

Another Kazuma with an exceptionally red robin on his head.

"Who the Hell are you?!"

"I'm you, but from the legend of Avain-lon." Kazuma says as the Robin extends a wing, showing three somehow redder command seals on its wing.

"He has mwany titles…All Father of Avians, Lord of the River, Robbing Hood, and Decrier of villians, be they mortal or divine!"

"And you are…?"

"I am Mordred, child of Queen Ewlizabeth, commanded by Alwaya to summon you and save bird kind!"

'…Think I like bird version better…' Kazuma thinks.

"Surrender now, lest you wish your stained legacy to be further ruined in the gaze of the stars!" Shakespeare shouts.

Shirou pulls out a rocket launcher, making Shakespeare pale.

"I'll show you stars."

"Kit al BAR!" Megumin shouts and the floor under Shirou's feet rises suddenly, making him fall from the now vertical level to the earth below and to certain death.

Until a griffon with a certain pink haired Rider appears and catches him.

"Why are you saving him?" Cu and Emiya shout at the same time.

"Long story, but sorry!" Astolfo says as he rides away, arrows and thrown knives trailing after him until he gets further away.

"…Not that I am ungrateful miss, but why did you rescue me?" Shirou asks.

"I did it as a favor to a friend. You'll meet her in a minute. Also, not a miss."

"…In that outfit?"

"I'm French and eccentric! I also like making people mistakenly think I'm a girl after helping a pal out with this."

"…That is kind of evil…"

"Yeah, but it's a fun and a harmless kind of evil!" Astolfo says before they near the garden again, a trio of dangerously clad women waiting there. One is in a skin tight suit, the other in a suit of armor with a fair amount of holes in it, and the red head is in a trench coat.

"Oh thank goodness you're safe!" Ritsuka says.

"…Wait, weren't you at the fight in Fuyuki? Why are you saving me?"

"Eh…its better I don't tell you. Just take this thing and fly down to safety!" Ritsuka says, gesturing to an odd glider.

A bolt falls off.

"…I think I'm safer staying here until my connection comes back instead of using that. Besides, I apparently still got a job to do."

"I do not blame you…that 'genius' didn't even want to test it herself." Scathach says with a grin as a radio crackles to life.

"I heard that!"

"Good." Scathach says before turning off the radio.

"We'll do the job for you." Ritsuka says quickly.

"…Thanks? But I can't really ask you to do that. I have to kill a Saber, and she is with a bunch of other Servants, including Cu Chulainn and …" Shirou trails off when Scathach smiles at him while spinning her spear.

"L-Lady Scathach…" Mash trails off and Scathach sighs.

"It is simply far too dangerous for you here. There are multiple Servants here, including a Grand Berserker with a self sufficient spirit core like a Caster, two increasingly stressed Rulers, and the King of Heroes, a notoriously-"

"Gilgamesh is here?!" Shirou asks, cutting off Ritsuka.

"Yes but why does that-"

"Lurk." Shirou says and he vanishes.

"…Mash…"

"The condition is still glowing…" Mash says and Ritsuka pales.

'I didn't think his lack of self preservation extended into his youth!'



===



Cracks appear under their feet again.

"…You seriously took more foundation?" Both Kazuma's ask.

"To be fair, there wasn't much else in the area to take from." Avicebron says as Megumin hides under her hat.

'Note to self…take Rule Breaker later~.' Rin thinks behind a neutral face.

The floor falls under them, this time to the outside of the castle and down to Romania.

Then a few seconds after they descend, they find themselves against the ground, ropes and thousands of flapping wings making them ascend again.

===

"You don't appear injured…Why are you not helping after being thrown here Ruler?" Shirou the priest asks as he checks himself for injuries.

"I was going to, but then I recalled a few very important pieces of information." Jeanne says while leaning against a far wall.

"Those being?"

"Lancelot has no ill will towards me, and will not pursue me after I bit him. I have no love Artoria after everything, and know Lancelot will simply kill her…as for Gilgamesh, do I really need to explain?"

"What about your role as the Ruler in this war?"

"I think I'm out of that role after Medea made me her servant."

"…What?" Shirou asks in abject shock.

"Her Noble Phantasm does that. She also took my Command Seals over the other Servants."

"…What?" He asks again as Lancelot punches Gilgamesh in the face, making him drop Artoria, who Lancelot grabs and throws into a section of wall near Jeanne and Shirou.

"We should probably move." Jeanne says, only stopping when she hears an odd whistling. Looking over she sees it is coming from Artoria's missing teeth as she breathes heavily.

Jeanne walks back and stands over Artoria with the biggest grin. She then whistles while maintaining eye contact.

"…You call yourself a Saint?" Shirou asks as Artoria groans while trying to sit up.

Gilgamesh pulls out his sword.

"Now you will perith mongrel!"

Artoria groans with wide eyes.

'No…It can't be…Then that would mean…!'

"Enuma…Elith!" Gilgamesh shouts, his swords maelstrom of an attack dissipating, which makes Gilgamesh freeze long enough to get kicked across the room. He pulls himself out of the hole, leaning against it for support.

"How did that mongrel…stop my ultimate attack? Can he now suppress Noble Phantasms?"

Artoria gasps a groan while falling down onto her back.

'Oh God, it wasn't Lancelot's new state that prevented me from using Excalibur, it was the missing tooth from the Morgan impersonator! Oh God I'm a tyrannical idiot just like Gilgamesh, missing tooth and all…Oh God I'm like Gilgamesh!" Artoria stiffens and lies weakly as Lancelot approaches. He raises his blade and points it not at the prone and helpless via mental and physical cracks Artoria.

But at Jeanne.

"Ar….thur!"

"Are you blind? I am not Artoria Pendragon, I am-"

"L….iar!" Lancelot shouts before starting to hack and slash at Jeanne.

"You unbelievable-! Are you as blind as you are enraged, you pitiful excuse of a man?! I cannot believe you are part French! You are a disgrace to both nations you dullard of a lothario!" Jeanne shouts at pushing back Lancelot a moment.

"Too late…to seek my forgiveness…ArRtTtthurR!"

'…What is your luck stat Jeanne?' Leticia asks.

'I do not know, but considering I was burned at the stake in life by the people I helped, am being mistaken for an Englishwoman half my size, and lost one of, if not THE defining characteristics of my class to a perverted witch, I'm guessing E!'

Shirou Amakusa pulls out a handful of blades.

"…So it is you Ruler. I never expected to see you again after all these years." Darnic says while pulling out his saber, his nicked and worn Luger in his other hand.

"What…the Hell?" Semiramis says, foregoing another attack on Lancelot when she sees a floor of her Garden ascending to the sky.

===



"What…the Hell?" Ritsuka mutters upon seeing the large hall section of marble take to the air with thousands of birds pulling it via ropes.



===

"…What the Hell?" Kazuma asks as a blade is pressed once more into his neck by a blonde woman.

This time it is not Mordred.

"Are you…A Saber?" MHX asks as a dozen birds land on her shoulders, pointing blades at her.

"Oh my God…It's really happening…Wait…could the golems…?" MHX mutters with a shaking voice.

"I'm a Caster." Servant Kazuma says.

"How are you a Caster? You're not a mage!"

"Neither are they." Servant Kazuma says, gesturing to Avicebron and Shakespeare.

"Fair point…but why do the birds have tiny swords?"

"We also have spears and bwows!"

"Oh thank God…That makes everything better!" MHX says while pulling her sword back.

'And I thought the other blonde in blue had issues…' Kazuma thinks as they rise further, now seeing Lancelot fighting Jeanne. He was going to tell the birds to ignore that until he saw a certain murderous red head appear.

He looks around the room and sees Gilgamesh near a cracked wall on the other side of the room.

"Oh no…"



===

"Thirou? Ith that you?"

"Yes it…is? Why are you speaking like that?"

Gilgamesh responds by showing his missing teeth and gesturing to the enraged Lancelot fighting Jeanne.

After a moment they both look at the other and nod.

Chains wrap around Medea, pinning her arms to herself as she is bought over to Shirou. He takes her Rule Breaker and Gilgamesh makes the chains whip out, sending Medea flying out of the room.

Before she can reorient herself to fly, she finds herself caught.

Looking up she sees a green haired young man smiling at her.

Medea scowls.

"…He is trustworthy Medea…mostly." Atalanta says, still in her beastly attire.

"I see…" Medea says, while looking away.

"Did you really have to add the 'mostly' at the end, big sis?" Achilles asks while also looking away.

"We have a bigger problem than their wandering eyes." Servant Kazuma says.

"My eyes weren't wandering!" Medea and Achilles say at the same time.

"That's…a lie…." Karna says from Chiron's back, making Atalanta open mouthed before staring at them both.

"Look damn it!" Kazuma points and they see Shirou approaching Gilgamesh with Rule Breaker.

"Wait, why isn't the priest stopping this?" Aqua asks.

"How could he stop this?" Rin asks, expecting a dumb answer as the platform descends for them rejoin the fray.

"Because he has Command Seals over Gilly…and a lot of other Servants actually."

"How do you know that?" Achilles asks, hoping it'll distract Atalanta.

"I can see the mana connections between Master's and Servants, and he has a lot of connections." Aqua says, shocking them all.

"Snipe!" Kazuma says as he shoots an arrow at Shirou. Shirou shoots it out of the sky.

"Greater Snipe!" Servant Kazuma says, now being shot out by Gilgamesh before Gilgamesh is stabbed by Shirou.

"By my Command Seal, regrow your missing teeth!" Shirou shouts and Gilgamesh grunts as two new teeth appear, a bit of blood going down his chin before he laughs heartily, his robes changing into armor, different from the golden set he had back in Fuyuki, a sword appearing on his hip now.

MHX gnaws on her own lips.

"This disgusting energy…it can only mean one thing…"

===



"Bad news Senpai, another condition!"

"W-which one?"

"A Servant has changed classes!"

"…At least we still got two more for that condition left…"



===

"You've become a foul Saber!" MHX shouts, both blades drawn.

"Hardly, you alien invader." Gilgamesh answers back while running a gloved finger over his teeth,

"I come in peace!"

"I am the ultimate Saber, the pinnacle of lethality and honor."

"Menteuse!" Jeanne shouts.

"C'est 'Menteur, pas Mentuse.' Gilgamesh answers back, making Jeanne stutter a moment, long enough to be grabbed by the neck and thrown over to the motley crew of Servants and Masters. She sits back up and freezes at seeing two Kazuma's.

"What is…"

"Long story short, I died, got summoned as a Servant the same time I was revived." Kazuma says.

'…It's a sign!'

'No it isn't Jeanne!'

Semiramis studies the room a moment and raises a hand, ready to fill most of the room with toxic smoke when she feels steel at her neck.

"I wouldn't do whatever you are planning you foul Caster." Kojiro says.

"I am not a Caster! I am an Assassin Servant like you!"

"I am no longer Assassin. Through unconventional means I shall not disclose, I have once more reached my full abilities. I have become a Saber!" Kojiro shouts, making MHX's eyes go vacant.

"Traitor…" She says while bringing out a small screen and tapping on it rapidly. Both Kazuma's grab her wrists.

"What are you doing? It's making our danger senses going berserk."

"This castle is contaminated. I am calling down a neo nuke to eradicate it."

"My Garden is safe! At least before you people came here!"

"Then how do you explain this spread of Sabers!?" MHX shouts.

"This is not the-"

Musashi enters the room, her hair down as she yawns, her attire slightly dishelved.

"I'm surprised you're awake already."

"Couldn't really sleep with all the noise…" Musashi says while giving a thumbs up to Fergus. He returns it as MHX pales further.

"By the Servant verse…why didn't I realize sooner…Saber-ism is an STD!"



===

"Another class conversion!"

"Already?!" Ritsuka and Scathach ask at the same time.

"That just leaves one more…"

"How is it going this quickly…?"



===

"I've forgotten how amusing this can be…But I think it is time I finish this…Heh…Never thought I would relish being able to say words with an 'S' again."

"Heh…" Kazuma says, making Gilgamesh tilt his head.

"Something to say, mongrel?"

"Did you forget who is here?" He says before gesturing to Aqua.

Or at least where she was standing.

"…Shame. You're no longer amusing."

"W-wait, where did she-"

"Break Spell!" Aqua says, making Gilgamesh shiver.

"What are you doing you church destroying heathen!?" Shirou the priest asks, winded, bloodied, and tired.

"I'm no heathen, I'm a Goddess!" Aqua shouts as Darnic also looks on in confusion in a similar state as the priest before his skin starts to tighten around his face and body, wrinkles showing everywhere.

"W-what?!"

"You had an odd curse on you so I broke it for you! No need to thank me!"

"You wretch! That curse was keeping me alive!" Darnic shouts before his flesh starts vanishing, his eyes soon following, and becoming a skeleton pile in clothes.

"Oh…Uh…I'll tell Eris about you?" Aqua says to the skeleton pile.

"..I waited and followed him for nearly a century to kill him…" Shirou says.

"Oh, in that case he's dead now so it's all good! No need to thank me!" Aqua says, making Shirou's eye twitch before the white part becomes blood red as man surges around him.

"J-Jeanne, you can read Servant information right? What is happening to-" Kazuma starts but stops when he hears something land on Jeanne. Looking over he sees the Saint holding a familiar package of pink condoms.

'…Those things are durable to take being thrown by a Servant.' Kazuma thinks, growing further confused when Jeanne smiles.

'It IS a sign!' She thinks before shaking her head and looking at the priest.

"I…don't know what class he is now…" Jeanne says as Shirou pulls out a katana.

"I will have vengeance."



===

Ritsuka, Mash, and Scathach finally arrive as the condition box becomes marked off. They look around the room, taking note of the various people.

Ritsuka looks at Kazuma, and Kazuma looks at her.

'…The speed of this Singularity makes a lot more sense now…'