Cu-nosuba: God’s Blessing on This Lancer’s Holy Grail War!

[Davos]

Hey, Mordred may be hotheaded, and lack common sense, and have both daddy and mommy issues, and sometimes act like a cat, and-wait where was I going with this?
Oh right, she is surprisingly good leading people, if not she wouldn't had been able to make her rebellion, and I think Artoria have him some leading duties while she was out of the country in a campaign but don't remember well

To be fair, there were Mechas and Sci-fi riffles in ancient Greece

I... I don't even have anything funny to say, this actually sounds pretty common, but what surprised me more is that she had a file, someone else should had made it for her because with how she debriefs I can't see her organizing papers

Those little ingrates, at least Mordred loved her father, though I'm surprised she even had bastards knowing her.... history

I'm gonna assume that at least a third of that category is composed of Manaka and, yeah, no, only Manaka

I'm not surprised, her people skills is so bad only idiots or people too worried about humanity state with her as the tasked with their defense would join her, wich actually explains her Counter Guardians, we have the EMIYA's, the newborn with zero common sense, Ryouma who is basically the best of the bunch in a matter oc common sense and then you can see a pattern

You'd gone for it the wrong way, Mordred doesn't see herself as a woman just like did Artoria prior the fifth Holy grail war(Mostly because Mordred wants to be king and a king can't be a woman, meanwhile Artoria didn't even considered herself human because for what Merlin said "A king is different than a person")
So you should started friendly and then slowly scalating into a romantic relationship before even startin the process of- Why the hell I'm even talking about this!?

Ragebaiting till the end, these two are more alike than they would admit

NOOOOOOOOO
She was so young!! Take me instead!!

Don't you disrespect the featery prince! Those are words of war you are saying Saber

Say that to Merlin, or Babagge, or Yui SHousetsu, or Holmes since he was supposed to start as a Caster until he became a Ruler... Damm, there are many casters that are very good at close combat

Also need to say I love this Jojo reference

Agreed, this is peak

I'm literally Shakespeare right now

First of all, all your summons had terrible timing, second you have worst people in chaldea, literally *Looks to see the anticrist, a bunch of beasts, a woman that was the leader of the cult for a old god(Think lovecraftean horrors), a bunch of serial killers, another bunch of psychopaths(I'm looking at you Medea lily), man eating monsters(Not even figuratively, they literally eat humans) and a man that literally wanted to make hell in earth* The fact that they aren't a bunch of scraps while having them says a lot about Chaldea

Trust me she had worse, at least this time she didn't had her nerves being played with while torturing her during a whole night(At least that helped her circuits get accustomed to the singularity) or a literal walk through hell, not figuratively, literally, three times in three different hells, Ritsuka Fujimaru is unbeatable in hell as funny as that's to say lol

I find that difficult to believe, unless it happened to the other Guda... It definitely happened to the other Guda, I can feel it

This sounds like Artoria's fault aside from Kazuma's NP

Yep, it's the fault of both of them

Yeah, I almost blamed Alaya for that

Shirou, you are making me lose more and more respect in you, and it was already in the negatives but come on, your own(allegedly) grandaugther

It's chaldea, they are already prepared for MHX

You need to thank Gaia for that, she is the one actively nerfing MHX, if not then the planet would had been destroyed at least 4 times, I'm not even joking if any of her battles happened in space then she could had destroyed a planet or two, by accident

That's enough proof?

And Chaldea is working with their past enemies again, a long tradition continues

Oh god, she is fucked

Wait till he summons an Emu, we fought a war with them, and lose

Pettyness of the higher caliber, you have to love it

Girl, you are sounding like a Medea or a Morgan, just more prone to anger

Yeah, kinda expected that she would include that in her fight, just to add salt to the wound

Woman, you should hear yourself, this isn't something a respected king should say, the fact you still have your plot armor still baffles me since after becoming a villain you should had lost it, like when you became Saber Alter

She just recieved a Kamijou Touma special!?

Ok, I didn't expected this, but the tittle father of all avians should had been a hint

They are sentient beings with will and faith, the dinosaurs from the last lostbelt also had their own gods

Says you, are you saying that we shouldn't give our all and fight women with the respect as warrior they deserve? For shame Saber, I thought better than that of you

Based

Still not an Emu but close enough

This is so peak

That's bullshit, how does she keep having it? I know that plot armor exists in universe, that's how Artoria and Shirou beat Gil(Not a joke, this is something real) but she's supposed to lose it when she goes "Against the right path"

Good work Arthur, we can kill her now

Oh god she altered, well that's it, the plot armor works negatively in Alters

Red headed nudist pfffhaha
Maybe her timing wasn't as bad as I thought but it's still pretty terrible

Chaldea's efficiency at it's finest

Oh god, I know where this is going

She thinks this is a haven for those being persecuted by sabers, honestly a brilliant idea, this must have been Holmes doing

Ok, that's scary, she is acting like a monster in a horror movie

You know, that makes a lot of sense, Kazuma dying is part of his adventure, damm it's how his adventure started

Oh my god, you did an Alcides

Who is gonna tell her?
There's literally no grail that can make her wish true, and if it can it will only be erased afterwards, like, I dislike her but this is just pityfull

You scaled feathered bastard

How advanced are this birds now?
Did you based their creation on how funny, lovable and based they can be? Because the answer to all of that is yes

You are the servant, you are superhuman by principle, so yes you are, though Heroic Spirit Kazuma would be more

Things stopped making sense in this war long time ago buddy

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Just because she is good at leading people doesn't make her plans sound.

Seriously? Was that a Halloween event I missed?

She probably is the only one able to organize things in a way she can understand. One does not become that disorganized by accident...And it's probably better to make her do the filing than have her free to do other things.

True, but it could be plausible she fell into a similar mishap like Artoria did with Morgan disguising herself as Guinevere

I suspect that person appears in another lostbelt or event?

Yeah...Going to be hard trying to get her in a good light in another ending. I think Artoria may be easier in comparison.

Sounds like a fic ya want written.

Yep.

Think she was an adult in bird years.

I mean...when did she pick the peaceful option this war?

The Caster class is much odder than I recall.

Yay. Feared it may have been overdone.

Yay.

Yay.

I don't think she can control who gets summoned, but valid. Thought they all kind of mellowed out after coming to Chaldea? And isn't Medea Lily the nicer Medea before she went on an adventure with Jason?

The Lostbelts are gonna be a trip.

At least the crossdressing bit while dancing with Alters.

Yes, but both.

Yes.

Not defending him, but he doesn't know they are related and Ritsuka IS a looker.

Indeed.

Did not know that, or forgot it. Thanks again for the tidbit.

Yes apprently.

One that will never stop.

I initially was going to put a Shoebill for the sound they make, but thought a third one would be too much.

Yeah, that was a funny documentary.

Indeed. Love pettiness.

I think I have a penchant for writing angry women...

Fair. Looking back I maybe should have resolved the MHX fight part on getting Avalon back so this would be more of a surprise.

Wouldn't be much of a fight or satisfying if she lost immediately.

Never actually saw that show.

Yay.

That lostbelt is going to be enjoyable.

Any chance to go against Kazuma.

...Think that might be one of my favorite retorts in this fic.

Wouldn't this be worse than an Emu on every front except speed?

Glad it was great.

Refer to above statement about fight not being satisfying.

Indeed.

I wouldn't quite say alter, but I am sure I forgot the exact definition of that too.

Maybe I should have included her pov of suddenly appearing in front of the strongest fighter in the area, suddenly becoming nude while one of your closest friends is struggling against them to engender more...empathy? For her choice of action.

Indeed.

I would be surprised if you didn't.

Was a joy to write. Maybe more Morairty since it kinda messes with MHX?

Funnily enough, got the idea for that line after the Fergus scene of him sniffing out Eris and the angels.

And he doesn't need Aqua. Should probably put another downside to that if Servant Kazuma ever appears again.

....From another lost belt?

To be fair, that is probably more my misunderstanding and forgetting, though I doubt most would know about the questionable state of grails at this point...or am I massivley mistaken on the lore again?

Yeah...he's an ass.

Still medieval I think...might touch on them more on the epilogue chapter.

Doubt Servant Kazuma wants to crash face first into the earth.

Yeah, I did some deviations from logic

 

[alextheconqueror]

Just because she is good at leading people doesn't make her plans sound.

Click to shrink...

Fair enough, though from what I remember she was one of the ones in charge when Artoria was out of the kingdom, alongside Agravain if I remember well, though it was usually things like dealing with rebelling parties and the like

Seriously? Was that a Halloween event I missed?

Click to shrink...

Nope, it was a Lostbelt against the Greek Gods or how we call the the Machine gods of Olimpus

She probably is the only one able to organize things in a way she can understand. One does not become that disorganized by accident...And it's probably better to make her do the filing than have her free to do other things.

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I can believe it, better not let her have free time

True, but it could be plausible she fell into a similar mishap like Artoria did with Morgan disguising herself as Guinevere

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Ok, yeah I can see it happening, though I would be surprised if she didn't inmediately took the bastard son and made him part of the family

I suspect that person appears in another lostbelt or event?

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Manaka? No, she is from Fate Prototype and also appears in Fate Labyrinth by taking the body of a woman who was in an expedition in that Labyrinth, she is also the Mother of a Beast of humanity that a Male king Arthur is chasing across the different timelines, singularities and those in between till now
The fandom call her omnipotence if she was a girl and oh boy it's accurate

Yeah...Going to be hard trying to get her in a good light in another ending. I think Artoria may be easier in comparison.

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Yeah, definitely, as disleakable as Saber acted at least she still have her moments

Sounds like a fic ya want written.

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Probably, I got entranced by the waifu

Yep.

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They would definitely deny any similarity

Think she was an adult in bird years.

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Doesn't lessen the tragedy

I mean...when did she pick the peaceful option this war?

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Damm, you are right, this grail war she has gone full Canada(If you understand you understand)

The Caster class is much odder than I recall.

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As I said many times the servant classes are more lax than one would expect, the more rigid one is Sabers and that one still has a case like Karna with his fists(wich come from the word in Japanese Ken wich means both sword and fist) there's also Richard from FSF who can make anything he uses a Holy sword

Yay. Feared it may have been overdone.

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There is never enough Jojo references

I don't think she can control who gets summoned, but valid. Thought they all kind of mellowed out after coming to Chaldea? And isn't Medea Lily the nicer Medea before she went on an adventure with Jason?

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They can't control who is summoned but they decide if maintaining them in Chaldea, they could just cut the connection anytime and get them back into the throne
Also Medea lily is not from before the adventure with Jason, she is during the adventures with Jason and normal Medea is the one after, wich means Medea Lily is the more unhinged who can see a Demon God Pillar, make it a pancake and offer it to you with a smile in her face, and she actually did it, remember that this Medea made Jason a fucking Demon God Pillar and was the one to made a deal with Goetia without telling anybody else that it meant the incineration of humanity

The Lostbelts are gonna be a trip.

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No kidding, one of those battles in hell was during the last lostbelt, and there was this void that makes you feel every insecurity and fear you have will eroding your will to fight, it made Guda see visions of everyone deciding that since they have another Master again he wasn't needed anymore

At least the crossdressing bit while dancing with Alters.

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Everychance they have for him to crossdress they take it, Mash literally insist in that btw
In the last event there was an option to have him crossdress as a female character in a play, and they even reference that in the comedy comics and show of "Fujimaru don't get it"

Yes, but both.

Yes.

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Those two are in Ritsuka's list lol

Not defending him, but he doesn't know they are related and Ritsuka IS a looker.

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Seriously? In Ritsuka's mental monologue it says "Even after knowing who I was" so I thought it meant he knew she was his grandaughter

Indeed.

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Rule numbet 14 of chaldea, always be prepared for the servantverse

Did not know that, or forgot it. Thanks again for the tidbit.

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No problem, also the servantverse is a version of the age of will, wich is a future in wich humanity conquered the stars, and seeing that the space has things like Zephar, the types and the creators of the Mooncell, it's understandable that they needed to nerf servantverse characters when summoned as servants till the moon and beyond

Yes apprently.

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I mean, if it isn't I don't know what proof we can get lol

One that will never stop.

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The story train needs to continue, for another decade and more!

I initially was going to put a Shoebill for the sound they make, but thought a third one would be too much.

Click to shrink...

Understandable

Yeah, that was a funny documentary.

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Agreed, made me laugh and look birds differently

Indeed. Love pettiness.

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It's always funny to read

I think I have a penchant for writing angry women...

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That's just good taste, I love a woman that can and will kick my ass~

Fair. Looking back I maybe should have resolved the MHX fight part on getting Avalon back so this would be more of a surprise.

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Jt's still pretty funny to read

Wouldn't be much of a fight or satisfying if she lost immediately.

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True enough

Never actually saw that show.

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Basically the MC has a right hand that can nullify any supernatural effect, so his fights usually involve him negating any spell or esper power till he can get near his opponent and punch them in the face, this also has the side effect of also nullifying good luck, blessings from good or even the red thread of destiny so he is cursed with a constant state of bad luck
What I mean with the Kamijou Touma special is that in one of the official parodies he have a scene in wich he questions himself if he will fight a man or a womand and then he says "My fist doesn't discriminate against genders"

That lostbelt is going to be enjoyable.

Click to shrink...

It is, most of the time you are accompanied by a very wise and responsible dino who looks like he would fit as one of Kazuma's summons(It has feathers like a bird), but that would be too OP since he is also a genius and have some other, esotherical effects

Any chance to go against Kazuma.

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At this point I respect her for her stuborned

...Think that might be one of my favorite retorts in this fic.

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Why thank you

Wouldn't this be worse than an Emu on every front except speed?

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In physical stats maybe, but since we fought a war against those birds, and lose in the process, and seeing that a lot of people knows about those events the Emu's would have a conceptual advantage against humans

Glad it was great.

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It was

Refer to above statement about fight not being satisfying.

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Wich agaiins, understandable

Indeed.

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This is why I adore dinosaurs, that and they are just cool

I wouldn't quite say alter, but I am sure I forgot the exact definition of that too.

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If her eyes became gold I would say she's an alter, she literally was acting like a tyranical maniac king wich is the opposite of how Saber would normally act, wich means she became a Alter
Because I doubt any of her other Round table knights wouldn't want to cry at seeing their king like that

Maybe I should have included her pov of suddenly appearing in front of the strongest fighter in the area, suddenly becoming nude while one of your closest friends is struggling against them to engender more...empathy? For her choice of action.

Click to shrink...

Probably, would had helped to understand her situation, but the Gudas had been in worse

Indeed.

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This is why they are still in a good state

I would be surprised if you didn't.

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Why thank you

Was a joy to write. Maybe more Morairty since it kinda messes with MHX?

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Yeah I can see it, this spells Moriarty in it's job

Funnily enough, got the idea for that line after the Fergus scene of him sniffing out Eris and the angels.

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Equally horryfying for both parties of the chased, if for different reasons

And he doesn't need Aqua. Should probably put another downside to that if Servant Kazuma ever appears again.

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Maybe a great amount of magical energy needed for it to happen?

....From another lost belt?

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Nope, Fake strange fake, basically the Alter of Heracles who have a NP who allows him to yoink a part of another servant's saint graph to steal their NP or another thing, he even used it against Gugulanna to stole his divine core, being honest he is quite bullshit with all his things

To be fair, that is probably more my misunderstanding and forgetting, though I doubt most would know about the questionable state of grails at this point...or am I massivley mistaken on the lore again?

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Oh there's no way she would know, not even after FSN she would had known but she still forgot her wish in almost all of the Good endings because he understood it wasn't right to try and change the past like that without thinking of the consequences

Yeah...he's an ass.

Click to shrink...

Agreed

Still medieval I think...might touch on them more on the epilogue chapter.

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Sounds good

Doubt Servant Kazuma wants to crash face first into the earth.

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Nobody would want that, unless you are Darkness lol

Yeah, I did some deviations from logic

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That's the Konosuba effect

 

[Davos]

Fair enough, though from what I remember she was one of the ones in charge when Artoria was out of the kingdom, alongside Agravain if I remember well, though it was usually things like dealing with rebelling parties and the like

Nope, it was a Lostbelt against the Greek Gods or how we call the the Machine gods of Olimpus

Ok, yeah I can see it happening, though I would be surprised if she didn't inmediately took the bastard son and made him part of the family

Yeah, definitely, as disleakable as Saber acted at least she still have her moments

Probably, I got entranced by the waifu

They would definitely deny any similarity

Doesn't lessen the tragedy

Damm, you are right, this grail war she has gone full Canada(If you understand you understand)

As I said many times the servant classes are more lax than one would expect, the more rigid one is Sabers and that one still has a case like Karna with his fists(wich come from the word in Japanese Ken wich means both sword and fist) there's also Richard from FSF who can make anything he uses a Holy sword

There is never enough Jojo references

They can't control who is summoned but they decide if maintaining them in Chaldea, they could just cut the connection anytime and get them back into the throne
Also Medea lily is not from before the adventure with Jason, she is during the adventures with Jason and normal Medea is the one after, wich means Medea Lily is the more unhinged who can see a Demon God Pillar, make it a pancake and offer it to you with a smile in her face, and she actually did it, remember that this Medea made Jason a fucking Demon God Pillar and was the one to made a deal with Goetia without telling anybody else that it meant the incineration of humanity

No kidding, one of those battles in hell was during the last lostbelt, and there was this void that makes you feel every insecurity and fear you have will eroding your will to fight, it made Guda see visions of everyone deciding that since they have another Master again he wasn't needed anymore

Everychance they have for him to crossdress they take it, Mash literally insist in that btw
In the last event there was an option to have him crossdress as a female character in a play, and they even reference that in the comedy comics and show of "Fujimaru don't get it"

Those two are in Ritsuka's list lol

Seriously? In Ritsuka's mental monologue it says "Even after knowing who I was" so I thought it meant he knew she was his grandaughter

Rule numbet 14 of chaldea, always be prepared for the servantverse

No problem, also the servantverse is a version of the age of will, wich is a future in wich humanity conquered the stars, and seeing that the space has things like Zephar, the types and the creators of the Mooncell, it's understandable that they needed to nerf servantverse characters when summoned as servants till the moon and beyond

I mean, if it isn't I don't know what proof we can get lol

The story train needs to continue, for another decade and more!

It's always funny to read

That's just good taste, I love a woman that can and will kick my ass~

Basically the MC has a right hand that can nullify any supernatural effect, so his fights usually involve him negating any spell or esper power till he can get near his opponent and punch them in the face, this also has the side effect of also nullifying good luck, blessings from good or even the red thread of destiny so he is cursed with a constant state of bad luck
What I mean with the Kamijou Touma special is that in one of the official parodies he have a scene in wich he questions himself if he will fight a man or a womand and then he says "My fist doesn't discriminate against genders"

It is, most of the time you are accompanied by a very wise and responsible dino who looks like he would fit as one of Kazuma's summons(It has feathers like a bird), but that would be too OP since he is also a genius and have some other, esotherical effects

At this point I respect her for her stuborned

Why thank you

If her eyes became gold I would say she's an alter, she literally was acting like a tyranical maniac king wich is the opposite of how Saber would normally act, wich means she became a Alter
Because I doubt any of her other Round table knights wouldn't want to cry at seeing their king like that

Probably, would had helped to understand her situation, but the Gudas had been in worse

This is why they are still in a good state

Maybe a great amount of magical energy needed for it to happen?

Nope, Fake strange fake, basically the Alter of Heracles who have a NP who allows him to yoink a part of another servant's saint graph to steal their NP or another thing, he even used it against Gugulanna to stole his divine core, being honest he is quite bullshit with all his things

Oh there's no way she would know, not even after FSN she would had known but she still forgot her wish in almost all of the Good endings because he understood it wasn't right to try and change the past like that without thinking of the consequences

That's the Konosuba effect

Click to shrink...

I semi recall that.

Wow...that'll be fun.

True, though if the son takes after Mordred, I can see them still picking a fight.

...She may still be difficult to redeem with what I have in mind.

Understandable. Not sure you'll like the next part.

Most certainly.

Fair enough.

Indeed lol

Isn't that more Christmas shenanigans than class requirements? I know there is Jeanne alter lily the santa loli.

Fair enough.

Completely forgot about that.

....damn.

It happened more than once?!

For sure

....I completely forgot that if it is true.

A good rule

Gag character power levels...

Fair, though I think I was going for more like a Crimson Demon eye glow thing.

Doubt fgo is ending anytime soon.

Almost sounds like a precursor to OPM but with actual drawbacks.

Awwww

Same.

Thank you

 

[alextheconqueror]

I semi recall that.

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Same for me, don't recall clearly where I read it

Wow...that'll be fun.

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For sure, we have great characters, epic battles, Drake making fun of Poseidon again, Jason redeeming himself from the Okeanos singularity, MECHAS, a lot of lore and the great entrance of a Grand

True, though if the son takes after Mordred, I can see them still picking a fight.

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That's how they bond then

...She may still be difficult to redeem with what I have in mind.

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I will be preparing myself just in case

Understandable. Not sure you'll like the next part.

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I have very thick skin when it comes to these type of things, I will be prepared for anything you throw my way

Most certainly.

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Completely

Indeed lol

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It's not a warcrime if you do it the first time lol

Isn't that more Christmas shenanigans than class requirements? I know there is Jeanne alter lily the santa loli.

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Nah, if it was just Christmas he would be a Rider or Archer like is usual for Santa servants, Santa Karna class comes from the fact that the word for Sword and Fist is the same, as a funny fact he is summoned from Karna's training days so he goes by a more Shonen esque attitude, wich is funny
Also Jeanne D'arc Santa Lily is something else and a little difficult to explain... Let's just say that Gilles was involved and had unusual reactions to the Christmass power

Fair enough.

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And it's true

Completely forgot about that.

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Fair enough

....damn.

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Being Ritsuka Fujimaru is suffering

It happened more than once?!

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Surprisingly yes, it became a gag

For sure

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Better watch their backs

....I completely forgot that if it is true.

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And I thought my ADHD was bad

A good rule

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And a necessity

Gag character power levels...

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Remember when Taiga saved the world 8 times with her EX Rank luck... Remember it?....

Fair, though I think I was going for more like a Crimson Demon eye glow thing.

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That's still cool

Doubt fgo is ending anytime soon.

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They tried ending it but people didn't liked the ending so they are continuing now

Almost sounds like a precursor to OPM but with actual drawbacks.

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True, it's also that there's something, let's say, savage sealed inside the Imagine Breaker(His right hand)

Same.

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My man!

Thank you

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No problem

 

[Davos]

It's not a warcrime if you do it the first time lol

Surprisingly yes, it became a gag

And I thought my ADHD was bad

Remember when Taiga saved the world 8 times with her EX Rank luck... Remember it?....

They tried ending it but people didn't liked the ending so they are continuing now

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It's only cruel and unusual the first time; Than its routine.

That poor man.

Think I may just be distracted, but I do have a diagnosis for Aspergers

Was that in the Taiga dojo?

I recall the ending of the first part with Solomon being well done...

 

[Davos]

Seriously? In Ritsuka's mental monologue it says "Even after knowing who I was" so I thought it meant he knew she was his grandaughter

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I just reread that part, and the thought wasn't supposed to imply he knew Ritsuka was his granddaughter, but that he knew she was nude behind Mash's shield!

 

[alextheconqueror]

It's only cruel and unusual the first time; Than its routine.

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You should meet the Canadian Barbarian
(If you don't know who he is search America Wizard from Madmanfenrir)

That poor man.

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I think he started to enjoy it lol

Think I may just be distracted, but I do have a diagnosis for Aspergers

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Ooooh, I know how bad that can get in the day to day

Was that in the Taiga dojo?

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Nah, in one of the side data books I think

I recall the ending of the first part with Solomon being well done...

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And then we had the part 1.5, wich was the prelude for part 2 AKA the Lostbelts , and then there was the Ordeal Calls wich leaded to the end but people didn't liked that end(I don't feel strongly about that) so we are continuing again with another threath

I just reread that part, and the thought wasn't supposed to imply he knew Ritsuka was his granddaughter, but that he knew she was nude behind Mash's shield!

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Oh, it should had said how I was instead of who I was then, makes it confusing if said "Who"

 

[Davos]

[Apologies for lateness. Irl things and was a bit stuck on trying to include some parts. Those parts will be in the next chapter.]

A few minutes after making his Servant self take the landing, Kazuma reunites with the bunch on the airship. He and Ritsuka look flatly at each other.

"…How did you survive getting out? And where is your Servant version?" Ritsuka asks.

"Pterodactyl, and he is there recovering after I used him to cushion the landing."

"Jack…ass…"

'Never thought I'd hear myself call me that…Though I can't blame him. I'd hate to be used as a cushion too.'

"Why didn't the-" Rin starts.

"Pterodactyls are jerks…" Kazuma says.

'…What's a pterodactyl?' Jeanne thinks.

'Dinosaur, giant flying reptile. Think bird without feathers…think they later evolved into birds actually.'

'Wait, if that's the case then why did they-'

'Maybe they lost faith after meeting and hearing more about him? Like us with the Lord?' Leticia thinks back, and Jeanne remains quiet a moment.

'…I didn't lose faith…though I may have lost some respect after those revelations…I really can't blame you.'

'It was just as much you as that, little miss Impaler.'

'Excusez-moi?!'

"So what will you do now?" Kazuma asks Ritsuka.

"Probably start drinking heavily."

"I meant about Fergus…but I can't blame you for that."

"Oh that. I was going to do another summon in a few minutes after my luck recovers." Ritsuka says.

"I don't think that's how luck works." Cu says.

"I'm also waiting to see if another harebrained threat emerges."



===

Darkness is lead out of the ruins by Fiore, her body sore from accidentally being used as a cushion, her legs threatening to give out with each step as she is pulled by the leash around her neck, making her smile so very much.

"What…what kind of woman knows such techniques~?" Darkness mews out while hugging herself.

"Your Master~." Fiore says with a one eyed grin, making Darkness shudder as she is pulled further along, blinded by her own lusty thoughts, lost in her own little world of anticipation until she hear moans from a nearby wobbling shed.

The wall of said shed falls over, surprising them both.

A moment later, Caelus comes out with a twitching and panting Fran on his shoulder.

Everyone freezes for a moment.

Fiore speaks first.

"Looks like my baby brother is all grown up now~."

Darkness stares in shock, first at Fiore, then at Caelus as he nears with a smirk.

"I could say the same about you. Who is your… friend?" He asks while looking with closed eyes at Darkness.

"Just a wayward toy who enjoys being shown her place~." Fiore says, making Darkness bite her lips to resist falling to her knees.

"Funny. Sounds just like Fran~."

"M-Master!? That is-" Fran's outrage fades with a smack on her butt.

"I don't mean it in a bad way. You're the best Fran!" Caelus says, making Fran cup her face.

"Aww, you've become quite the sweet talker…Is there no room for another?" Fiore asks while pulling on Darkness' collar.

"Don't be absurd! There's always room for one more!"

"How about two then~?" Fiore asks with a wink, further shocking Fran and Darkness.

"A sister is more than fine~!" Caelus says as Fiore bumps the back of Darkness' legs, making her kneel. Fran joins her a moment later, fidgeting as Fiore places a hand on both their heads.

'This world is beyond depraved, scandalous…and perfect!' Darkness thinks with glee as Fiore reaches to Caelus as they begin.



===



"So what were you saying when you got summoned Big Sis?" Achilles asks as Scathach, Megumin, and Avicebron leave the room.

"…I don't want to talk about. I thought I was in the afterlife room, but I was actually in an odd area of Hell."

"What did you see there?" Karna asks.

"The Irishman." Atalanta says, making Chiron pale.

"And there were at least five of him!" She continues and Chiron groans.

"More of him…how can this get worse?"



===



Mordred is having the time of her life.

After kicking the nimrod, she begins fighting the other Fergus, Clarent in one hand, and ornate sheath in the other to help deal with the numbers. She barely avoids an arrow for her head before flinging the sheathe at Archer Fergus, who falls to the ground with a groan. From the sounds of his wheezing, he won't be up for awhile, but that leaves Mordred with Saber, Lancer, and Caster Fergus.

Rider Fergus is busy with a crybaby.

At least until Mordred tosses Lancer Fergus into him. They look at each other and nod.

Aqua's cries and moans grow louder before becoming muffled.

"Sorry, didn't mean for that to happen!" Mordred says.



===



Musashi and Kojiro join the group, looking prim and proper, save for the bit of dust on their clothes and hair from the ruins of the Gardens.

And Musashi's hair being disheveled.

And Kojiro leaning on his sword like a cane.

"So…uh…where is Bill?" Musashi asks while playing with a bit of hair in one hand while trying to smooth out the rest with her other.

Before someone can say anything, a shadow covers them, causing them to look up and see him in the air, riding atop a cassowary, the bird's wings outstretched and gliding along the air.

"Wait, Cassowaries can't fly!" Kojiro says.

"It can after I penned that its wings can now handle flight!" Shakespeare says as they land and he takes a bow with a big smile.

"I must thank you, the material will give me a best seller that will resonate through the ages!"

"You can't publish anything." Ritsuka says, and Shakespeare freezes with a gasp.

"But this tale needs to be chronicled! With a great deal of dramatic tension and creative liberty!"

"It shall be an epic, worthy of both prior ages and modernity!" The cassowary says.

"No."

"I earned this!"

"He did a fair bit in the last fight." Jeanne says.

"Not the point. If William Shakespeare, who has been dead for hundreds of years, suddenly published something, it'll cause problems."

"I'll use a pen name!"

"In that case…no~. Your writing style is unique and people will recognize it." Ritsuka says with a smile.

Shakespeare raises his hand.

"First Folio!"

Ritsuka frowns and brings up her phone.

She calmly taps a few buttons while glancing to the side with a twitching eye and Shakespeare fades away, as does Musashi and Kojiro.

"…I'm a little disturbed how calm she was in that Noble Phantasm." Cu says as he starts fading.

"I've been through worse, and it's not the first time I've seen him use it for petty reasons...speaking of petty." Ritsuka says before looking at Kazuma holding the author's notes.

"Before we continue…why are you barefoot?" Kazuma asks.

Ritsuka cracks her knuckles and approaches.

"…I know you're not doing this on purpose, but it is still hard to believe. Good luck Kazuma." Cu says as he vanishes and Ritsuka's phone buzzes.

She contemplates her choices and answers the phone.

"Where the Hell are you summoning these Servants?!" Gordes asks.

"Romania, though I'm sure the usual randomness is included…why do you-"

"I saw, I conquered, I came!" A familiar Irishman says with a red head conceptual being smiling on one shoulder and a Goddess twitching on his other shoulder.

Chiron groans before fleeing the room.

Atalanta stands behind Achilles.

"…Really sis?"

"…Respect your elders…" Atalanta says back.

"Oh come on, the fight was just getting to the good parts!" Mordred says upon appearing.

"Who says we're done?" A few versions of Fergus says upon appearing, making Aqua groan and Alaya grin. The sound of steel clashing is overheard.

"No fighting in Chal-"

A deafening boom makes Ritsuka fumble with the phone.

"Is Chaldea under attack?!" Mash shouts.

"No…But there is a crater outside now."

"How is there a-"

A second boom is heard.

Ritsuka looks at Kazuma and Rin.

"They're your problem now." They say at the same time.



===

"…For what it's worth, you did great for a first time…and second and third…" Reika says with somewhat vacant eyes as she dresses herself, a twitch going up her back as the young man still is breathing heavily on the bed.

"I thought I was going to die after the second time…Was this swinging?" Sieg asks as Reika downs a morning after pill.

"No, and I am not really in the mood to explain that…"

'I'm sure he'll make any girl happy now…but what happened to me? And Jack is…'

===



Darkness returns with a pout, a listless Fiore, vacant eyed Caelus, and blushing Fran walking by a moment later towards Kazuma and the others.

"Are…you ok?"

"I was before." Darkness says flatly.

"…I don't know what came over us…" Fiore mutters with vacant eyes.

Caelus remains quiet.

Kazuma, Rin, Jeanne, Mash, and Ritsuka looks at them and pales.

"I-It's not what you think!" Fiore says with red cheeks.

'The Fergus effect…' Kazuma thinks.

'And I thought you were the kinky one of this bunch.' Leticia thinks, making Jeanne frown.

"Cowards…and after you made me call you Master by cracking my wrist!" Darkness says.

"I wasn't in my right mind!"

"You were in your best mind and lost it!" Darkness says while jabbing a finger into Fiore's cheek.

"What is wrong with you?" Caelus asks.

"Not enough time to explain that." Kazuma says and Darkness smiles.

"Not even a minute upon my return and you already insult me…You should follow his deplorable example, you incestuously inclined deviants!"

"I am not incest inclined!" Fiore and Caelus say at the same time.

"That's a lie…and judging from the sensation of this lie, they both have had this inclination for some time now." Karna says from the phone, Gordes taking the phone back with a mutter as both siblings pale, glance at the other and back at the phone.

"Oh God…I was a replacement, and now I'm a third wheel…" Fran says.

"No!" Caelus shouts.

"Wait, you can speak?! How?" Rin asks and Caelus blushes while nudging his glasses.

"We… we're controlled by something that made us do it!"

"Technically Fergus' disposition only made you and humanity more open about their desires, it didn't plant new ones." Alaya says from the phone, making the siblings pale even further.

"That…can't be true…that means I wanted to solicit my grandpa and brother for...for…" Fiore says with tears at the corners of her eyes.

"Don't worry about it! Incest has been a common desire throughout the history of humanity!" Alaya says in a chipper tone, her smile falling when Fiore starts crying.

Jeanne maintains a neutral face while glancing at Fiore and Caelus before glancing at Kazuma.

'…Wonder if I can recreate-'

'Don't go down that line of thought Jeanne, please…'



===

Cu appears in a room with a familiar armored knight fighting multiple versions of his step father, one of whom is carrying a fidgeting Aqua and a smiling Alaya.

He ignores this and lets them have their fun.

'Wonder how much changed since I've been away with two Grail Wars and a short stay in another world?' He wonders before walking by. In the hall he sees a horrible sight.

The Archer in red carrying his teacher on his back.

He readies his spear.

"Put that down, I didn't do anything to her." Emiya says.

"You sure as Hell didn't beat her. Is it a spell, or did you drug her food you NTR bastard!?"

"I am not-!"

"I did this to myself…I underestimated the mana needed for that delightful spell." Scathach says, her chin on Emiya's shoulder.

"Spell?" Cu asks as a deafening boom is heard. Emiya sighs with closed eyes.

"That fool was supposed to carry Megumin back, not cast the spell…"

"…I know how to make you relax and forget about that…~" Scathach says with a grin, making Cu freeze with a groan at her voice, and Emiya raise an eyebrow out of puzzlement.

The sound of a tray dropping to the floor makes Emiya look behind Cu.

What he sees makes him groan.

Behind Cu Chulainn with a twitching eye is Medusa.

"Medi it's not what you think!"

"You expect me to believe she's not your type? She's tall and can kick your ass too!"

"I didn't know you were part Irish…that's good to know." Scathach says, making Cu groan again.

"Will you stop making this worse…" Emiya asks as Medusa raises a dagger.

"I thought it would be a good precursor for later~." Scathach says.

Medusa throws a knife at Scathach.

Emiya drops her to the floor so the blade misses. Scathach stands back up, spear in hand.

"I thought you couldn't walk?"

"I can now, but I am still tired…which should make this almost a fair match for her~." Scathach says with a grin at Medusa. Cu relaxes with a sigh.

'Thank Gods…she only said all that to taunt Medusa into fighting her!'

"You're next, you charming coward." Medusa says while glancing at Emiya.

He takes a deep breath and smiles.

"I am no coward, but I know not to stand in the way of an angry woman…But I will make this up to you later."

"What are you going to-"

"Lurk." He says and vanishes.

'…Honestly, can't blame him…Just glad he's not an ntr bastard.' Cu thinks before leaving as Scathach and Medusa start fighting.



===



"We probably have another debacle to stop now thanks to you, so we'll take our leave." Ritsuka says as a section of ruined castle wall explodes.

A minute later, Artoria staggers out.

How the Hell is she still alive?!' They all think at the same time.

Ritsuka taps on her phone and a moment later she and Mash start to fade.

"Aren't you gonna help with this?!" Rin asks.

"She's your problem now~." Ritsuka says with the biggest shit eater grin while flipping off Kazuma. Her smile falters when Kazuma raises a hand and a flash blinds them.

"Kazuma wait! she doesn't-!" Jeanne and Rin start to say.

"You bastard! Not again!" Ritsuka says while crossing her arms over her chest.

Mash stares blankly ahead while covering Ritsuka with her shield.

"Steal!" He chants as both girls vanish, now holding a trench coat.

"…Surprised I got this and not-wait…" Kazuma pales with a realization.

Then Artoria falls forward and vanishes.

Both Kazuma's relax. Then they look at the other and head into the ruined Gardens. A few minutes later he returns with Avalon.

"I doubt you can benefit from its magical properties…and what about Ritsuka?" Rin asks.

"I'll deal with her if she shows up somehow…And I suspected as much since it's actually starting to burn as I hold it. I think Arty's hatred of me is causing that." Kazuma says, prompting Darkness to grab the sheath.

"Down girl, you can't use this for fun!"

"Then why do you want it?" Jeanne asks.

"To sell it." Kazuma says.

"…That would help with the debt…But I do like how it burns to the touch~." Darkness says.

"Shame we can't tell the blight about that plan." Jeanne says.



===

"I'm a little touched you went to me when scared big sis~."

"Who better to combat a pervert than another pervert?" Atalanta says.

"I am no pervert!" Achilles says, drawing a flat look from Atalanta before she looks at Karna.

Karna matches her gaze in silence.

"Well?" Atalanta asks.

"Are you expecting something from me?" Karna asks back.

"You know what I am expecting."

"Do you think I just hide around corners or wait in spirit form to expose lies~?" Karna asks with a smile that grows a little larger as her ear twitches.

"He's not lying if that is what you are wondering." Karna says with a fist behind his back, clenched tight enough that a bit of blood is dripping along his fingers.

'I am treating him to a feast or fighting him with everything I have later!' Achilles thinks while forcing himself not to smile.

Then Atalanta smiles.

Achilles suspects she is planning something but finds himself lost in that face.

"Rule Breaker!" Medea says before stabbing Achilles.

"By my Command Seal, tell the truth!" Medea says, a seal vanishing from her hand.

"You stab like a girl."

"By my command seal, stop being a smart ass!" Medea orders with a frown.

Achilles brings his one leg forward and raises his spear to stab his heel.

Karna grabs the spear and stops him.

Atalanta glares at Medea while cracking a knuckle.

"…That was not my intent." Medea says as Shakespeare appears with slouched shoulders before looking up around him. Musashi and Kojiro appear a moment later behind him.

Mordred and Fergus fighting.

A former comrade who voted him out.

One who did not.

He raises his hand towards Fergus.

"First Folio." He says in monotone and all the Fergus gasp and look into empty space in horror.

"No Fildas, not the whip! Not the branding iron! The scar just healed!" They shout in fearful harmony.

Mordred freezes in terror before fleeing the room.

"First Folio." Shakespeare says, and Mordred stops at the door.

"M-mom? Oh no not again…" Mordred stammers as Shakespeare points at Atalanta.

"First Folio." He says and she groans in increasing horror while running out and reaching for something is not there.

"Not the children!"

"You bastard! I will-" Achilles starts for the Bard.

"First Folio."

Achilles instantly pales and begins running at blinding speed, grabbing Atalanta as he runs away.

'What in the world? Shakespeare has never been like this before…' Gordes thinks as a worker taps his shoulder.

"Sir, you may want to look at this…"

On the screen are Shakespeare's stats. Everything is normal save for one additional skill.

Madness enhancement C.

"If I cannot bring joy, I will usher in terror…!"



===



A rip appears near the group in Romania.

"…At least there isn't fire this time." Eris says with a tired smile.

"Are you here to send us back?" Kazuma asks.

"Not quite…Alaya and Aqua contacted me regarding what is happening in Chaldea and…Alaya made a surprising suggestion."

"I refuse." Kazuma says.

"I understand why you're saying that, but please listen first! It's not that bad actually."

"I don't believe it."

"We should at least hear her out. It's not like she can suggest anything dumber at this rate." Rin says.

"…Ok. What is it?"

"Take Mordred, Shakespeare, and a few others to Belzerg."

"Wait, why does she want them there?"

"Mordred does have a chance of causing ruination if she wins a Grail War…as for Shakespeare…"

Eris plays a recording of Shakespeare laughing evilly while traumatizing everyone in Chaldea.

Except for Karna, Medea, Aqua, and Alaya.

Gordes is looking at a transcript of the last few minutes of conversation in Romania with an open mouth.

"…So that's why father never wanted me to stay overnight at Aunt Fiore's…"

Ritsuka is hiding behind Mash's shield as they awkwardly leave the room.

"…That is….mostly not my fault. At least not the Shakespeare part."

"So they don't need a vacation?" Eris asks, making Kazuma freeze.

"That…I….Eh…I'll help them find lodging…" Kazuma says.

"…I'll teleport Darkness and Miss Jeanne first and leave you alone for a few days." Eris says.

"Wait, why not them?" Jeanne asks and Eris pauses a moment.

"…They are uh…well…need some alone time?" Eris says and Rin look away with a blush.

"Th-that's not…how can you just go and say that?! The implication is beyond-"

"I'm sorry, I guess I just thought you two would like a few days of relaxation considering how prior grail war ended." Eris says.

"Oh…t-that makes more sense. Though I am not sure how I can relax in this place…"

"That is a fair point…I doubt whipped cream is readily available here either." Eris says before blanching.

"Whipped cream? What are you-" Rin devolves into a creaky groan upon understanding.

Kazuma also pales.

Jeanne's mouth hangs open a moment.

"You watched us?!"

"No! I only saw a second because I thought you were done after the prior day!" Eris says, making Rin cup her face.

"You saw both times…"

"It was an accident!"

'Oh no, how tragic, he's taken by another pervert…guess we should go see Sieg to console ourselves!' Leticia thinks at Jeanne in sing song.

"I mean…it's not bad having an audience is it?" Kazuma asks, making the rip warble a moment as Rin glares at him.

"I know you're a pervert but to even suggest that?!"

'…I don't think so.' Jeanne thinks back at Leticia.

'What are you going to do, take the guy from the girl that went to another world and back for him? Even if you don't agree to being a Saint, that is just bad from every angle.'

'Who said she would be excluded'?

'What?' Leticia groans out as Jeanne cups Rin's face.

"Jeanne? What are you-" Rin's question gets muffled when Jeanne pulls her in closer.

Rin freezes from the surprise, stunned at feeling a tongue slip into her mouth.

Kazuma is also wide eyed, and Eris squeaks before leaving.

'I am not coming back here for at least a week!'

Darkness smiles slightly until she finds herself being teleported.

'Since when were you into girls Jeanne?!'

'I'm not that inclined, but I am French…and I figured getting on good terms with her would help.'

'That is just a rude stereotype of the French! And how do you think a impromptu make out is going to-' Leticia falls silent when Jeanne pulls back, showing a blushing and fidgeting Rin.

'Oh God…you're all perverts.'

'Like you're any better?' Jeanne thinks while still cupping Rin's face.

'I know I had a thing for men of the cloth…but Saints too?' Rin thinks while staring up at Jeanne.

'…Am I being cucked by a beautiful bastard?' Kazuma thinks while watching with no shame at the two women before his Servant version stands by him and grabs his shoulder.

"Go on ahead with Rin…I'll deal with her!" Servant Kazuma says with a smile and glint in his eye.

"…You expect me of all people to believe you're doing this for altruistic reasons?"

"You think you can deal with an amorous Servant who can take on 14 other Servants?"

"You think I'm against a ménage a trios?~" Jeanne asks, shutting them all up.

'There was no liquor involved, how did this happen?' Rin thinks in shock while being pulled along by Jeanne back to the Gardens with the two smiling Kazuma following.

She catches herself smiling too a moment later.

'…I'll just call it the start of a vacation~.'

 

[Fernando]

Peak! Peak has graces us with its presence!

Let us sing joyously at the revelations!

I can't believe Achilles-bro was saved by Karna-bro. Not a pervert my ass.

 

[QWStag767]

So, did Fergus actually rape Aqua?

 

[Davos]

So, did Fergus actually rape Aqua?

Click to shrink...

Yep.

 

[Sliverhero]

Yep.

Click to shrink...

Fergus and Alaya are lucky that the two kazuma dont know that Aqua was raped. As they would more then likely find a way to kill the two as after all the main reason why kazuma took out the demon king in canon was because he made aqua cry