Cu-nosuba: God’s Blessing on This Lancer’s Holy Grail War!

[alextheconqueror]

Best defination of a curse I heard.
That should be quite a scene. I think her hair is normally gray, but if you call Stelle that, what about Illya? Also, not sure if you knew, but Yang is technically from Earth and a big anime fan so he would know about orcs in a different conventional context.

Click to shrink...

1) Thabk you, I try
2) Fair point, Stelle could be the Gray Haired gremlin but Illya? She is the white haired menace, at this point she will make Rin actually comit arson against all the city(If Illya doesn't do it herself XD)
3) Oh god I can already picture his reaction
Yang: What do you mean there are female orcs?!
Kazuma: There are also male ones but those are almost extinct so the females had to get.... some alternatives *Having traumas of Vietnam*
Yang: I'm never getting near your world
Artoria: *Feeling conflicted of if she should enjoy the suffering of his (not actually) sworn enemy or feel pity for him*

4)I want to mention that one of the lines I remember because it's funny from the reviews is when Artoria mentions what Emiya told her happened in that church and how he can't explain it without breing to explicit, at wich I responded:
I can only confirm that it was consensual, also Rin's idea but that's not a surprise for anybody

 

[Davos]

1) Thabk you, I try
2) Fair point, Stelle could be the Gray Haired gremlin but Illya? She is the white haired menace, at this point she will make Rin actually comit arson against all the city(If Illya doesn't do it herself XD)
3) Oh god I can already picture his reaction
Yang: What do you mean there are female orcs?!
Kazuma: There are also male ones but those are almost extinct so the females had to get.... some alternatives *Having traumas of Vietnam*
Yang: I'm never getting near your world
Artoria: *Feeling conflicted of if she should enjoy the suffering of his (not actually) sworn enemy or feel pity for him*

4)I want to mention that one of the lines I remember because it's funny from the reviews is when Artoria mentions what Emiya told her happened in that church and how he can't explain it without breing to explicit, at wich I responded:
I can only confirm that it was consensual, also Rin's idea but that's not a surprise for anybody

Click to shrink...

1) You sucueed.
2) Glad to know I wasn't missing something.
3) ....Got an idea from this. Also, won't be that, but it will be something.
4) I did enjoy writing that little rant for Artoria. Surprised you didn't mention Saber being half dead at the time.

 

[alextheconqueror]

1) You sucueed.
2) Glad to know I wasn't missing something.
3) ....Got an idea from this. Also, won't be that, but it will be something.
4) I did enjoy writing that little rant for Artoria. Surprised you didn't mention Saber being half dead at the time.

Click to shrink...

1) I was calling her White haired menace since the trial against her(Alongside some remarks about her maids being the ones lusted by the adventurers of Axel)
2) I'm interested
3) Artoria was basically half dead since the battle of Camlann, the difference is in what shape is the body

 

[Davos]

1) I was calling her White haired menace since the trial against her(Alongside some remarks about her maids being the ones lusted by the adventurers of Axel)
2) I'm interested
3) Artoria was basically half dead since the battle of Camlann, the difference is in what shape is the body

Click to shrink...

1) Fair enough
2) Hopefully it'll be enjoyable
3)True, but I meant more the fight with Berzerker in that case than her legend

 

[alextheconqueror]

1) Fair enough
2) Hopefully it'll be enjoyable
3)True, but I meant more the fight with Berzerker in that case than her legend

Click to shrink...

1) Yet another glorious bit that was lost due to the hands of fate
2) I know it will, you never fail to deliver
3) Fair enough, I'm just saying

 

[Davos]

1) Yet another glorious bit that was lost due to the hands of fate
2) I know it will, you never fail to deliver
3) Fair enough, I'm just saying

Click to shrink...

1) hehe
2) Glad to hear
3) Don't you mean https://youtu.be/FAMlAhpv7Ss?t=4 ?

 

[alextheconqueror]

1) hehe
2) Glad to hear
3) Don't you mean https://youtu.be/FAMlAhpv7Ss?t=4 ?

Click to shrink...

Oooooh, we are never escaping the abridges XD

 

[Davos]

Kazuma trudges through snow, his face shivering as much as the rest of his body.

"Why…am I…here? What could I possibly do to help reign in an irate demigod?!" He asks as a stiff breeze chills him through two thick and fluffy coats, making him glare at the gray twin causes of him being here. They meet his sour gaze with a fist at their chest.

"You are here…" Caelus starts with closed eyes, tone solemn as he opens them the same time his sister finishes the sentence.

"To embrace Trailblazing!"

"I'd rather embrace a kotatsu than listen to your rehearsed lines in the middle of winter!" He shouts before sneezing.

'And that damn cowboy…I know that bit about the cold being bad for his body is bull now!'

"…How are you all fine in this weather?" Emiya asks while looking at the Astral Express wearing their usual attire.

"It's due to…" Stelle begins with hands on her hips.

"The spirit of Trailblaze!" Caelus says with a fist held in front of himself.

"Stop…saying…the stupid lines you rehearsed!"

"They're not wrong. The Trailblaze path does offer protection against the elements…they are just explaining it weirdly." March says as Sunday offers Kazuma a thermos.

Artoria and Emiya both sneeze a moment later.

Sunday gets one for them as well.

"Thank you…I am surprised how used you are to traveling in these conditions…It is unfortunate this occurred during the height of winter and in a snowstorm. Do you know how long this storm might last?" Artoria asks.

"This isn't a blizzard; this is normal weather on Belobog." Stelle says, stunning the trio.

"…How did they survive this cold?"

"They nearly didn't…actually…" Caelus says before sticking his finger in his mouth before holding the slickened finger in the air.

"It's warmer since last time we visited!"

"This is warmer…?" Emiya asks.

"…Is that also a power of the Trailblaze?" Kazuma asks March.

"No, he's just being silly for silliness' sake now."



===

"…Can you go one week without being dragged into court?" Sena asks Rin.

"I'm the victim here." Rin says with crossed arms.

Sena cups her head when the bell does not ring.

'Great…she's delusional and starting to believe her own lies now…'

"I'm not being delusional and believing my own lies, I am telling the truth." Rin says, startling Sena.

"You can-"

"And no, I can't read minds, but I suspected you were thinking something like that…which, given your line of work and recent events, I can't really blame you for thinking that…" Rin says while scratching her cheek.

"How can you put our Goddess on trial while this horrible witch walks free?! Especially after what she has done!" One male adventurer shouts, making Aqua's eye twitch.

"I haven't done anything!" Illya shouts back, making the bell ring.

"I haven't done anything like this damn poster suggested!" Illya shouts a split second later, fist clenched around a rolled up flier. Rin doesn't even bother trying to hide her smile.

"…I can't believe you went along with this plan…" Aqua asks while glancing at Megumin.

"I got a million out of it. I'll put some to the debt after sending a chunk to my family."

"…At least you are being mature during this whole thing." Aqua mutters, making Rin smile with closed eyes and a clenched fist.

"I'll have you know I am quite mature for my age."

"Mature people don't spread this kind of lie!" Illya shouts while unfolding the poster.

On the poster is a picture of Megumin dressed like a shorter Illya in dirty clothes, kneeling on the ground with teary eyes, the words 'Have you seen my mommy? She left for milk a few weeks ago and never returned!' to the side.

There are more words painting a picture of abandonment and struggle for this fake child.

Rin smiles and has to cup her mouth to keep from laughing as she leans on the stand for support.

"Does that mean there are mature lies?" Rin asks between giggles as the crowd mutters and yells at Illya.

"Order!"

"Can I get out of debt to her for this defamation? God knows she's enjoying this enough as it is, between her camera work and her groupie's praise!" Illya shouts with a clenched fist.

"I don't enjoy their praise!" Rin shouts, making the bell ding, and the men cheer to a volume not yet heard, now hitting a deafening new high as they startle the guards into action, the judge barely heard as he shouts repeatedly for order, the combined shout of the male adventurer's of Axel united with one burning question.

"What of our praises do you enjoy?!"

Aqua walks over to Rin with flat eyes.

"Just tell them what you like you depraved young woman."

Rin grabs the Goddess by the neck, glowing fist raised.

"I am not-"

A section of wood being thrown into a nearby window stops her. Sena steps closer.

"Just tell them, I doubt your reputation can get any worse." Sena says.

"They aren't being…that bad…" Rin says before torches start being lit up.

"Burn the white haired witch!"

"Try it!" Illya shouts, now summoning a dozen stringy birds.

"Mistress!" Sella shouts.

"Yes, a fight!" Leysritt says, halberd at the ready. The men ready their own weapons. The guards sigh and raise their own as well.

"…I don't see a problem here."

"Rin!" Aqua shouts.

"Just make Illya move to somewhere else!"

"At this point, I could have you all listed as threats to the kingdom and banished…unless you calm this angry mob." Sena says.

Rin plays with a bit of hair, grimacing with red cheeks before speaking, the crowds now quiet.

"I…like being called a Goddess…" She says, causing the men to cheer and return to orderly behavior, and making Aqua stare at her with eyes that would wither a demon before she flinches.

"Oh my Me…"

"I thought you out of everyone would understand how nice it is to be called that?" Rin asks.

"I thought you looked familiar! You look like just like that hussy from Babylon!!"

"I'm not a hussy!"

Illya smiles at seeing such hatred between them, a plan forming.

"Does this mean no fight?" Leysritt asks.



===



"Did I violate some custom from your homeland? You somehow became less talkative over the last few days." Aventurine asks in Gilgamesh's room.

"If you had done such a grievance, I would have skewered before enlightening you…I am merely in an ill mood after the last war, and your dream the other night did not help." Gilgamesh says before taking a sip of wine.

"How harsh...but what do you mean by my dream?"

"It is a common side effect of this binding. We sometimes see haphazard glimpse of the other's life."

"So that's why I dreamed about that crying blue haired girl last night…" Aventurine says, making Gilgamesh grimace with a hand at his temple.

"Oh…her…"

"Was she a past lover?"

The spear stabbing into the wall next to his head makes Aventurine quiet a moment. Then he looks at it before looking back at his Servant.

"Does that mean yes?"

"It means do not ask such offensive questions."

"So yes?" He asks, getting another spear on the other side of his head,

Gilgamesh puts the cup away and studies Aventurine a moment.

"Something on my face, or are you fascinated by my eyes?"

"Your eyes, interesting as they are, do not intrigue me as much as your circumstances. Why do you not seek vengeance against the IPC in a more active approach for the death of your people, sister, and your enslavement?" Gilgamesh asks, grinning as Aventurine's smile finally fades.

"I think you overestimate my ability."

"I ask because I know of your blessing from that luck Goddess and the power in the pebble from another God. Many have attempted more with less Kakavasha."

"I'd rather you not call me that, and if I could have accomplished that with just those, you think I wouldn't?"

"I know, but you are forgetting something."

"That being?"

"I am here now, with no ties to these intergalactic merchants, and incredibly bored." Gilgamesh says with a smile that falls when Aventurine laughs.

"You think you alone can best the Interastral Peace Corporation?"

"I have instilled fear in the Gods of my world. I know I can do the same to the pretender deities here, and this group founded on avarice and shallow faith will not cow and brand me." Gilgamesh says, smiling as Aventurine narrows his eyes.

"Do all heroic spirits make such foolish and rude claims?"

"We can settle those doubts on the roof if you require a first hand showing." Gilgamesh says.

"I'm game." Aventurine says, bringing out his stone and heading to the roof.



===



"I'm sure if we have Svarog's help we can settle this. Honestly, I'm sure by now he will realize he made some mistakes. Besides, he's not so headstrong to think he should conquer a planet." Caelus says as they get closer to Mydei's last location.

"Like he was calm enough to not start a fight with the ruler of a planet?" Kazuma asks.

"To be fair, that is how he greets some people." Stelle says.

"Is that supposed to make him seem less hot headed? I'm surprised he didn't realize part way through he was being a warmonger!" Kazuma says and Caelus coughs into his fist.

"There is no word for warmonger in the Kremnoan language. That is simply a man!"

"…Did he get possessed by something?"

"No, he's imitating Mydei." Dan Heng says.

"…Maybe it'll go better if we don't have blondie on this planet?"

"Don't worry, I called in help to make sure Mydei doesn't mightily Mydei things!" Caelus says.

"Do not use my name as a verb for bungling." Mydei says upon hearing them, a giant robot with a tiny white haired girl close behind.

"Then don't Mydei." Stelle says with a grin, making Mydei sigh.

"I realize now I was…forward. But I was rather taken by those two in a heated moment." Mydei says.

"They are striking, but I thought you wouldn't be so swayed by physical beauty?" Stelle asks.

"It was not their looks that blinded me, but their martial prowess. Within moments the one nearly sliced my arm clean off with her scythe for harming her companion, and the other shot me in the heart, then, when I approached after brushing past her guard, deftly skewered me with a bayonet before kicking me away. How can a man not be entranced from such a showing?"

'This man's an idiot, and possibly bigger masochist than Darkness!' Kazuma thinks with an open mouth before sneezing.

"I'm sure Mr. Mydei won't cause trouble again!" The white haired girl says before looking at a blankly staring Artoria and Emiya.

"Is…something the matter?"

"You just…remind us of someone…Eerily so…" Artoria says as Emiya looks at her feet. He sighs and traces a pair of shoes.

"They won't last long, but should be enough for you to find a suitable pair." He says as the white haired girl looks on in shock.

"That's amazing! But…I don't need shoes. Never really worn them since they hurt my feet."

"Absurd."

"Indeed, but she speaks truth. She wanders this frozen plain like it was a field of flowers." Mydei says before freezing at the sight behind them.

"Why did you call them here?"

"I thought you would be more problematic, and thought Phainon and Castorice would enjoy seeing another world." Caelus says as a white haired man in a trench coat and boots approaches with a smile, and a pink haired girl in a dress with an odd bandage looking top waves from further away.

Then Mydei cracks his gauntlet clad fist.

Phainon smiles and draws his sword.

"What the-" Before Kazuma can finish they are already attacking each other.

"Told you this is how he greets some people…want to make a bet?" Stelle asks.

"No." Kazuma says before sneezing again.

"Observation. This human will not live long in this area." The robot says making Stelle grimace.

"Also, the one designated as Mydei planned an attack on Belobog to free his servant who is currently being imprisoned."

"Heracles…was arrested?" Emiya asks with an open mouth, the shoes vanishing along with his concentration.

"It's warmer in the city." March says and they begin walking that way, with Caelus and Dan Heng staying behind to watch the demigods fight.

Kazuma is the first to walk that way, the others distracted by the fight or getting more info from Svarog. Kazuma approaches the woman who starts walking away.

'…She probably heard some rumor about me from the gray haired asses. I'll talk to her and prove them wrong.' Kazuma thinks.

"Hey, can we talk a moment?"

"You can speak from that distance…" The woman says with her back facing him, making Kazuma grimace but pick up his pace. Stelle notices this from further away and texts Kazuma.

He ignores it and gets closer to Castorice.

"I'm not as bad as those two said I am!"

"It is not that…though that is a factor, you should stay further away from me." She says, not realizing until a moment later Kazuma is nearly within arm's reach. She gasps and jumps back.

"I'm not going to do anything!"

"That's not-wait…do you…not feel ill being so close to me?"

"Why would I feel ill?" He asks, making Castorice tilt her head in stunned silence before taking a timid step to Kazuma, then another, her eyes widening as Kazuma stands unbothered.

"What the Hell?" Caelus and Stelle ask at the same time at seeing this Castorice standing in abject shock right in front of him.

"Do you…truly feel fine?"

"I mean, I think I'm going to catch a cold from this weather but other than that, yeah." He says and Castorice blinks.

"How perplexing…but not unpleasant…"

"Am I missing something?"

"I am the Demigod of death. Anyone that gets too close to me withers and dies…usually after feeling nausea or an intense sleepiness at a space further than this…."

"I think I know why that is the case, but a quick question…what happens to the people that die this way?"

"Well…they usually go to the afterlife, but that is in my home world of Amphoreus…I do not know if that would happen here on Belobog."

"What is the afterlife like on Amphoreus?"

"It is a field of flowers, meant to be a place of repose for the- Huh?!" Castorice startles with a blush when Kazuma grabs her bare shoulders.

'Case A, I die and go to Eris, avoiding this madness, case B, I get to rest!' Kazuma thinks with a big smile as Castorice warbles, blushing and alternating between looking at his hand on her person and his smiling face.

'Or…case C…I am standing in a field gripping a young woman's shoulder…who could probably kill me…' Kazuma thinks with a growing stiff smile.

"I…did not expect people here to be immune to me…and to be so bold…" Castorice says, hands at her face as her pointed ears also turn red.

'Or case D, blushing elf girl!? This is amaz- WAIT! I'm not single…but this is a universe far far a-'

Kazuma's thought stops when a rip appears behind Castorice, two giant eyes now looking at him. Then a giant claw emerges, stamping onto the ground. Castorice turns to face the dragon as it stares down Kazuma.

"Pollux wait! He does not-"

The dragon backhands Kazuma before roaring and taking flight as he lands in a snow bank.

Castorice clenches a fist and it vanishes a moment later. She runs over and helps Kazuma out of the snow.

"Thank you…"

"Do not thank me…My sister thought you must have been attacking me after what Caelus said about you."

"I assure you…he's lying…Wait, you're sister?"

"He never lied before…but I am willing to hear you out…I am curious how you are immune to me when others are not…And it's a bit of a personal story regarding that…"

Further away as the two talk, Caelus falls to his knees and punches the ice.

"It's not fair…why does he get to touch her without dying?!" He shouts, tears in his eyes as Stelle pats his back, crying alongside him.

"…You two are idiots…" March says as Artoria walks over closer to Kazuma and Castorice before coughing and collapsing.

"Why…is everything purple?" She asks while face first in the snow. Castorice walks quickly away with an apology.





===

"You want to do what to Penacony?!" Robin asks with both hands and winged ears covering her mouth.

"…If he wasn't here I would not tolerate even hearing this plan, Fool. It truly is the height of insanity, just like your group." Robin's servant says with crossed arms.

"Oh wow, you made a Berserker call you nuts…I'm impressed and like this plan more and more!" BB says with a wide smile.

"You say that like you didn't help make this plan~. And will you two relax? It'll only affect the dreamscape. We already know what happens there doesn't affect reality…right Song bird?" Sparkle asks while tracing a finger along her throat and looking at Robin, making the singer grimace.

"How thoughtless…it still hurt."

"It's not like you stayed dead~." Sparkle says, making Berserker approach with rapid steps while cracking her knuckles. BB stands in her way with red eyes.

"I know thinking isn't the most notable skill of your class, but surely you haven't forgot about Grady…Ms Asna~." BB says, smiling until the other servant grabs her by the throat with untraceable speed and nearly crushing her windpipe.

"M-miss Asna?!" Robin says, making her servant let go of BB, the purple haired girl now coughing. Sparkle looks at BB while shaking her head.

'You really aren't suited for combat, are you 'Moon Pie'? That feels like need to know information…' Sparkle thinks.

'Are you of all people really reprimanding me for withholding information? Besides, everyone looks unsuited to combat compared to a Berserker Servant! Besides, at least I did it for a reason!' BB thinks while coughing.

'Sure you did, and I AM withholding info for a reason!'

'Is the reason,' it'll be funny'?' BB thinks back with a grin.

'Oh it will be~.'

'It better~.'



===



Aventurine finds himself held in place by the chain, unable to even move his fingers to throw giant dice at his servant.

The effect only gets worse when he tries to call on more of the Preservation's power.

"Do not bother Master, those chains are the ultimate anti divine weapon, and only one part of my treasury."

"…I am more inclined to believe you aren't a braggart…but there is only one part that has me wary about believing in you fully."

"What is that?"

"On the off chance you fail-"

Gilgamesh laughs, cutting him off.

"…What am I to do to prevent becoming a criminal?"

"Defeat is not possible with me here…but if it will assuage your fears, simply say you are under the influence of my charisma skill. It will give you enough cover to return working like a good little slave." Gilgamesh says, making Aventurine scowl.

"A shame you can't become more power for being cocky…but I'm willing to bet on you now."



===

If Artoria's collapse from Castorice's presence prompting Dan Heng to carry her wasn't enough proof, Kazuma finds out first hand that Castorice's ability to kill people is still working.

The hospitalized guard finds out firster hand that Castorice's ability to kill people is still working.

Castorice sadly waits in the outskirts with Svarog.

Kazuma is dragged away by Caelus, both staring daggers at the other as they near the Supreme Guardian's office.

"I can't help in this, so I may as well keep her company."

"No." Everyone present says.

Kazuma glowers.

"Wait…Where's Hans?" He asks.

"He…just vanished." Welt says.

"Like in a thing of gold sparkles?" Emiya asks, making Stelle flinch and mutter 'Sparkle'.

"No, gave a short yell and was simply gone when we looked for him."

"Maybe it was the lack of a Master?" March asks.

"No, as a Caster he has his own core for mana…We should look into that later." Emiya says as they enter the office.

"Oh, the Express. It is gladdening to see you a-" Bronya stops when Mydei enters the office, glaring at him along with Seele.

Bronya pulls out a shotgun from her desk.

Seele brings out her scythe.

Mydei approaches with a smile before a dozen hands grab him.

Kazuma uses lurk and tries to leave.

Caelus grabs him with a smile.

Phainon smiles at Mydei.

"…Not a word to Castorice."

"I won't say a word, friend~."

'Liar.' Mydei thinks as explanations begin.

Mydei is still banned for life from Belobog, but he will not be arrested.

"What of my melancholic Servant? Will you free him?"

"We never arrested him…we were going to capture him as a way to lure you back but he did not resist."

"The useless coward…Then where is he?" Mydei asks.

"The giant sad sack just sat down in the middle of the road in the underworld and refused to move! He even let the kids play around or on top of him while muttering 'such is my fate'." Seele says.

"…Is it possible to trade my servant for-"

"No." Kazuma, Artoria, Emiya, and Cu say at the same time.

===



Back in the stable Aqua is glaring at Rin.

"Will you please stop, I didn't ask them to call me a Goddess!" Rin says.

"It wouldn't be beneath you, Trash-saka."

"Excuse-"

"You're more of an enemy to women than Kazuma ever was!"

"How dare you! How can you say that?!" Rin says, all her limbs glowing.

"She's not wrong!" Illya says from outside the stable.

"You wasted no time in painting a woman that annoyed in a salacious light, thus making her time here harder." Aqua says.

"And what does that make you for that one shoot?!" Rin asks.

"I'm simply being prudent."

"Is that another word for bitch in this world?" Rin asks, making Aqua gasp.

"Just for that, I won't be modeling for your trashy magazine!"

"I wouldn't hire you if you were the last woman here!" Rin shouts. Her anger stalls a moment when Aqua smiles and brings a hand to her face with the biggest smug grin.

"…So it is you Kazuma~."

Rin raises a glowing fist and throws it.

Aqua does the same, shouting the most petulant 'God Blow'.

Megumin warbles.

Darkness stands between them, getting punched on both sides with a moan, instantly diffusing their anger and replacing it with shame and disgust.

Their shame makes Darkness moan once more.

Rin takes a walk.

Illya approaches Aqua with a grin.

"Now that the fake Goddess is gone, let's talk business~."



===

They are guided to the underworld by Seele, keeping a close eye on Mydei as others in the city watch him with tense stares.

"I will not attack citizens."

In the middle of the underworld square is Heracles, lying on his back on the road as kids play around him.

Mydei kicks Heracles.

"It is time to go."

"But the cold ground feels so nice…fitting for a wretch such as myself."

Kazuma hands Artoria water and she drinks it as others try to convince the giant to stand up. When Artoria goes to walk she falls face first to the ground.

Dan Heng picks her back up and she is staring listless into space.

"This seems worse than that time in the castle." Kazuma says.

"What happened at the castle?...Oh Gods, is it anything like the church?!" March asks.

"No, she was stabbed." Cu says.

"…By stabbed-" March starts, drawing a twitching eye glare from Artoria.

"Forced to try and kill herself with her own sword."

"How?!" Stelle asks.

"Command Seal." Kazuma says.

"Command seals can do that?!" Stelle and March ask at the same time.

"…Yes, but when it happened, the water was able to cure her, but she did have a master at the time supplying mana…maybe she needs one for it to be more effective?" Kazuma asks.

As they discuss options, Emiya notices a red haired young man approach and grimaces. Then he sees he is missing an arm, a broken metal arm in his living one.

"Are you the friend of hers that was beaten my Mydei?"

"Yeah, it was quite a fight…If my arm wasn't smashed up, I'd ask him for a rematch!"

"And I would gladly oblige you." Mydei says, making Seele' eyes turn red a moment.

Emiya continues looking at the arm.

"Do you mind if I take a look at that?"

"Sure, but it is pretty messed up. Name is Luka by the way."

"Emiya." He says before taking the arm and focusing a moment. After muttering 'trace on' he analyzes the internal structure and gives it back.

"It's actually in good shape. Just a few wires are messed up and a bit of a plate needs some hammering and it'll be as good as new. I can actually fix it if you have some tools." He says, stunning Seele and Luka.

"That would be amazing!" Luka says and drags Emiya over to the clinic.

Artoria meanwhile looks around at her options. Welt is nowhere nearby, Kazuma is Kazuma, and Stelle is…herself.

"Just pick Stelle already." Kazuma says.

"…I'm considering fading away."

"I'll buy you an entry to the all you can eat contest at the crab stand down the road." Stelle says, making Artoria consider for a moment.

"I'm surprised you are not seeking revenge." Kazuma asks.

"If this Gilgamesh is worse than Grady, we'll need all the help we can get, and if that means spoiling you to a meal or three, it'll be worth it."

'…Oddly practical.' Kazuma thinks.

'…I feel something is off, but I imagine her mana is about the same quality as Welt's…and my only other option is Kazuma…' Artoria thinks with a sigh.

"Yippy!" Stelle says before taking Artoria off of Dan Heng's back and hugging her from behind.

"Please refrain from such displays in public…" Artoria mutters.

"I'm surprised you didn't go for her as your master…I thought you two would get along?"

"I thought so too, until she pulled out a spear bigger than mine."

"I didn't think that would bother you? If anything I thought you would take that as a challenge while flirting with her." Kazuma asks

"It did, but that was until she pulled out the second spear."

"…Second spear?"

"But we're not in public, this part of the underworld is rarely visited, and everyone is distracted by Mydei and his Servant now…but I can be talked into a different venue~." Stelle says in a whisper.

'That sounds weird as Hell…Wait…No…!' Kazuma thinks with a shudder as Artoria suddenly pales.

"Stelle…what is poking me?" Artoria asks, making Kazuma pale now.

"My spear~."

"But you don't have that pole arm of lave right now…!"

"It's still flaming hot and quite a pole~." Stelle says, making March and Himeko blush and quietly wish Artoria luck.

'Oh God…I'm Guinevere now…'

"Please tell me this is an accident…" Artoria asks.

"Oh Artoria you silly babe you…" Stelle says with a toothy smile before continuing in a whisper to Artoria's ear.

"I'm doing it on purpose!"



===In another timeline===



"I'm not sure this is a good idea…" Jeanne says as Medea and Avicebron both make summoning circles on the basement floor.

"I have experience in this." Medea says.

"It did feel like a regular summoning when she called me." Musashi says while staring flatly at Medea.

"…The amount of bad summons in Romania leading to that debacle still has me wary."

"I doubt it can get worse than what happened in that grail war." Mordred says.

"Plus having more Servants can't hurt…Right?" Kazuma asks.

Jeanne sighs and waits as they finish the summoning.

A man in purple armor appears from Medea's circle, making Jeanne glower and Mordred pale.

"…My king?" Lancelot asks in abject shock while looking at Mordred.

"Ok, this is bad…" Kazuma mutters with a hand at his head.

"At least the next one can't get-"

Spartacus appears in Avicebron's circle.

He takes one look at Mordred and jumps forward with an overhead swing.

"Oppressor!"

Mordred narrowly avoids the blow, a small crater now in the basement floor.

"My King!" Lancelot says before attacking Spartacus.

Kazuma looks at the hole in the floor as Lancelot and Spartacus fight.

'That…was the foundation…'

 

[alextheconqueror]

Kazuma trudges through snow, his face shivering as much as the rest of his body.

"Why…am I…here? What could I possibly do to help reign in an irate demigod?!" He asks as a stiff breeze chills him through two thick and fluffy coats, making him glare at the gray twin causes of him being here. They meet his sour gaze with a fist at their chest.

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I mean, you are used to deal with the divine, you can do this

"You are here…" Caelus starts with closed eyes, tone solemn as he opens them the same time his sister finishes the sentence.

"To embrace Trailblazing!"

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Bullshit

"I'd rather embrace a kotatsu than listen to your rehearsed lines in the middle of winter!" He shouts before sneezing.

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Preach brother, they should know better than to try and take a Neet outside

'And that damn cowboy…I know that bit about the cold being bad for his body is bull now!'

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The betrayal!

"…How are you all fine in this weather?" Emiya asks while looking at the Astral Express wearing their usual attire.

"It's due to…" Stelle begins with hands on her hips.

"The spirit of Trailblaze!" Caelus says with a fist held in front of himself.

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What, does your youthfull spirit maintains you hot?

"Stop…saying…the stupid lines you rehearsed!"

"They're not wrong. The Trailblaze path does offer protection against the elements…they are just explaining it weirdly." March says as Sunday offers Kazuma a thermos.

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...Ok, I was joking but looks like it actually does, kinda

Artoria and Emiya both sneeze a moment later.

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This is the first time I saw a servant sneeze in a non comedic way, even in the frozen hellscape of the Russian Lostbelt they didn't got like that, and there was a shirtless man there

Sunday gets one for them as well.

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Oh, forget it, there is the comedic part

"Thank you…I am surprised how used you are to traveling in these conditions…It is unfortunate this occurred during the height of winter and in a snowstorm. Do you know how long this storm might last?" Artoria asks.

"This isn't a blizzard; this is normal weather on Belobog." Stelle says, stunning the trio.

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...Oh, this might be worse than the russian lostbelt

"…How did they survive this cold?"

"They nearly didn't…actually…" Caelus says before sticking his finger in his mouth before holding the slickened finger in the air.

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Yeah that tracks

"It's warmer since last time we visited!"

"This is warmer…?" Emiya asks.

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How did they survived without needing to become furries?

"…Is that also a power of the Trailblaze?" Kazuma asks March.

"No, he's just being silly for silliness' sake now."

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Not surprised

"…Can you go one week without being dragged into court?" Sena asks Rin.

"I'm the victim here." Rin says with crossed arms.

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In this case I would believe she is

Sena cups her head when the bell does not ring.

'Great…she's delusional and starting to believe her own lies now…'

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Trust me, reality is more crazy than whatever lies you think she makes

"I'm not being delusional and believing my own lies, I am telling the truth." Rin says, startling Sena.

"You can-"

"And no, I can't read minds, but I suspected you were thinking something like that…which, given your line of work and recent events, I can't really blame you for thinking that…" Rin says while scratching her cheek.

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"How can you put our Goddess on trial while this horrible witch walks free?! Especially after what she has done!" One male adventurer shouts, making Aqua's eye twitch.

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Heh, I love these guys

"I haven't done anything!" Illya shouts back, making the bell ring.

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You used the likeness of her dead sister, wich btw needed to be killed in front of her to avoid the end of the world, I think she has the right to retaliate

"I haven't done anything like this damn poster suggested!" Illya shouts a split second later, fist clenched around a rolled up flier. Rin doesn't even bother trying to hide her smile.

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So phrasing to avoid consecuences, classic

"…I can't believe you went along with this plan…" Aqua asks while glancing at Megumin.

"I got a million out of it. I'll put some to the debt after sending a chunk to my family."

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This is why Megumin is the best of the trio of stooges

"…At least you are being mature during this whole thing." Aqua mutters, making Rin smile with closed eyes and a clenched fist.

"I'll have you know I am quite mature for my age."

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She kinda needed to

"Mature people don't spread this kind of lie!" Illya shouts while unfolding the poster.

On the poster is a picture of Megumin dressed like a shorter Illya in dirty clothes, kneeling on the ground with teary eyes, the words 'Have you seen my mommy? She left for milk a few weeks ago and never returned!' to the side.

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Pffft, I mean, if it said daddy and changed milk for grail then it would be true

There are more words painting a picture of abandonment and struggle for this fake child.

Rin smiles and has to cup her mouth to keep from laughing as she leans on the stand for support.

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You are stronger than I am Rin

"Does that mean there are mature lies?" Rin asks between giggles as the crowd mutters and yells at Illya.

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Technically yes

"Can I get out of debt to her for this defamation? God knows she's enjoying this enough as it is, between her camera work and her groupie's praise!" Illya shouts with a clenched fist.

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Illya, Rin just need to mention that you tried to use the likeness of her dead sister, that mind you, both of you saw die, I don't think you have the upper hand

"I don't enjoy their praise!" Rin shouts, making the bell ding, and the men cheer to a volume not yet heard, now hitting a deafening new high as they startle the guards into action, the judge barely heard as he shouts repeatedly for order, the combined shout of the male adventurer's of Axel united with one burning question.

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Ooooh~

"What of our praises do you enjoy?!"

Aqua walks over to Rin with flat eyes.

"Just tell them what you like you depraved young woman."

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We wanna know!!

Rin grabs the Goddess by the neck, glowing fist raised.

"I am not-"

A section of wood being thrown into a nearby window stops her. Sena steps closer.

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Fight fight fight!

"Just tell them, I doubt your reputation can get any worse." Sena says.

"They aren't being…that bad…" Rin says before torches start being lit up.

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*Looks at the adventurers directions as if saying "Seriusly?"*

"Burn the white haired witch!"

"Try it!" Illya shouts, now summoning a dozen stringy birds.

"Mistress!" Sella shouts.

"Yes, a fight!" Leysritt says, halberd at the ready. The men ready their own weapons. The guards sigh and raise their own as well.

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This is tamer than I expected if I'm being honest

"…I don't see a problem here."

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Neither do I

"Rin!" Aqua shouts.

"Just make Illya move to somewhere else!"

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That's the least to do to get out of this mess

"At this point, I could have you all listed as threats to the kingdom and banished…unless you calm this angry mob." Sena says.

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Surprised you hadn't them listed as that before this

Rin plays with a bit of hair, grimacing with red cheeks before speaking, the crowds now quiet.

"I…like being called a Goddess…" She says, causing the men to cheer and return to orderly behavior, and making Aqua stare at her with eyes that would wither a demon before she flinches.

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So this is why she is compatible with Ishtar

"Oh my Me…"

"I thought you out of everyone would understand how nice it is to be called that?" Rin asks.

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Stones in glass walls much?

"I thought you looked familiar! You look like just like that hussy from Babylon!!"

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Pfffft, I won't disagree that Ishtar is a hussy, in fact is only Rin being the Vessel and counteracting Ishtar bitchiness what makes it so Gil refrains from using EA on site

"I'm not a hussy!"

Illya smiles at seeing such hatred between them, a plan forming.

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Illya, no, you are already in deep shit

"Does this mean no fight?" Leysritt asks.

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Never change Liz

"Did I violate some custom from your homeland? You somehow became less talkative over the last few days." Aventurine asks in Gilgamesh's room.

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You would know if you did

"If you had done such a grievance, I would have skewered before enlightening you…I am merely in an ill mood after the last war, and your dream the other night did not help." Gilgamesh says before taking a sip of wine.

"How harsh...but what do you mean by my dream?"

"It is a common side effect of this binding. We sometimes see haphazard glimpse of the other's life."

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Though servants usually don't need to sleep unless they actually want to

"So that's why I dreamed about that crying blue haired girl last night…" Aventurine says, making Gilgamesh grimace with a hand at his temple.

"Oh…her…"

"Was she a past lover?"

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Oh, you didn't said that

The spear stabbing into the wall next to his head makes Aventurine quiet a moment. Then he looks at it before looking back at his Servant.

"Does that mean yes?"

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You shouldn't tempt fate like that(Heh)

"It means do not ask such offensive questions."

"So yes?" He asks, getting another spear on the other side of his head,

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How are you still alive? Though he allowed Shinji to live, till he decided to use him as a Fake grail

Gilgamesh puts the cup away and studies Aventurine a moment.

"Something on my face, or are you fascinated by my eyes?"

"Your eyes, interesting as they are, do not intrigue me as much as your circumstances. Why do you not seek vengeance against the IPC in a more active approach for the death of your people, sister, and your enslavement?" Gilgamesh asks, grinning as Aventurine's smile finally fades.

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Oh, yep, here comes Gil's usual reason to do anything, finding interesting people and seeing where things go

"I think you overestimate my ability."

"I ask because I know of your blessing from that luck Goddess and the power in the pebble from another God. Many have attempted more with less Kakavasha."

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Ok, I'm interested

"I'd rather you not call me that, and if I could have accomplished that with just those, you think I wouldn't?"

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Yeah, that's valid

"I know, but you are forgetting something."

"That being?"

"I am here now, with no ties to these intergalactic merchants, and incredibly bored." Gilgamesh says with a smile that falls when Aventurine laughs.

"You think you alone can best the Interastral Peace Corporation?"

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He doesn't think he can, he knows he can

"I have instilled fear in the Gods of my world. I know I can do the same to the pretender deities here, and this group founded on avarice and shallow faith will not cow and brand me." Gilgamesh says, smiling as Aventurine narrows his eyes.

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Look, in a fight he had against Enkidu in a singularity(Because Chaldea won't allow it to be inside their headquarters) he clashed EA with Enkidu's NP, and it was, and I quote "As if the world was destroyed and remade seven times in a row"

"Do all heroic spirits make such foolish and rude claims?"

"We can settle those doubts on the roof if you require a first hand showing." Gilgamesh says.

"I'm game." Aventurine says, bringing out his stone and heading to the roof.

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I think I see why he likes him

"I'm sure if we have Svarog's help we can settle this. Honestly, I'm sure by now he will realize he made some mistakes. Besides, he's not so headstrong to think he should conquer a planet." Caelus says as they get closer to Mydei's last location.

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I don't even know that guy but I feel like that's not accurate

"Like he was calm enough to not start a fight with the ruler of a planet?" Kazuma asks.

"To be fair, that is how he greets some people." Stelle says.

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That sounds celt

"Is that supposed to make him seem less hot headed? I'm surprised he didn't realize part way through he was being a warmonger!" Kazuma says and Caelus coughs into his fist.

"There is no word for warmonger in the Kremnoan language. That is simply a man!"

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Eh?

"…Did he get possessed by something?"

"No, he's imitating Mydei." Dan Heng says.

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...I can see it

"…Maybe it'll go better if we don't have blondie on this planet?"

"Don't worry, I called in help to make sure Mydei doesn't mightily Mydei things!" Caelus says.

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Good to know

"Do not use my name as a verb for bungling." Mydei says upon hearing them, a giant robot with a tiny white haired girl close behind.

"Then don't Mydei." Stelle says with a grin, making Mydei sigh.

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It's too late, you Mydei'd is know the new Vegeta'd
You have been verbed!!

"I realize now I was…forward. But I was rather taken by those two in a heated moment." Mydei says.

"They are striking, but I thought you wouldn't be so swayed by physical beauty?" Stelle asks.

"It was not their looks that blinded me, but their martial prowess. Within moments the one nearly sliced my arm clean off with her scythe for harming her companion, and the other shot me in the heart, then, when I approached after brushing past her guard, deftly skewered me with a bayonet before kicking me away. How can a man not be entranced from such a showing?"

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I think Scathatch would like you

'This man's an idiot, and possibly bigger masochist than Darkness!' Kazuma thinks with an open mouth before sneezing.

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And you didn't even meet Fergus XD

"I'm sure Mr. Mydei won't cause trouble again!" The white haired girl says before looking at a blankly staring Artoria and Emiya.

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Famous last words

"Is…something the matter?"

"You just…remind us of someone…Eerily so…" Artoria says as Emiya looks at her feet. He sighs and traces a pair of shoes.

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Oooh, this is... better let this slip

"They won't last long, but should be enough for you to find a suitable pair." He says as the white haired girl looks on in shock.

"That's amazing! But…I don't need shoes. Never really worn them since they hurt my feet."

"Absurd."

"Indeed, but she speaks truth. She wanders this frozen plain like it was a field of flowers." Mydei says before freezing at the sight behind them.

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This makes me think on Corrin from Fire Emblem Fates

"Why did you call them here?"

"I thought you would be more problematic, and thought Phainon and Castorice would enjoy seeing another world." Caelus says as a white haired man in a trench coat and boots approaches with a smile, and a pink haired girl in a dress with an odd bandage looking top waves from further away.

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Oh, so those are the reinforcements

"What the-" Before Kazuma can finish they are already attacking each other.

"Told you this is how he greets some people…want to make a bet?" Stelle asks.

"No." Kazuma says before sneezing again.

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You should be thankfull Stelle, you would had lose

"Observation. This human will not live long in this area." The robot says making Stelle grimace.

"Also, the one designated as Mydei planned an attack on Belobog to free his servant who is currently being imprisoned."

"Heracles…was arrested?" Emiya asks with an open mouth, the shoes vanishing along with his concentration.

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What is in this universe that makes servants get arrested!?

"It's warmer in the city." March says and they begin walking that way, with Caelus and Dan Heng staying behind to watch the demigods fight.

Kazuma is the first to walk that way, the others distracted by the fight or getting more info from Svarog. Kazuma approaches the woman who starts walking away.

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Huh, it usually takes more time for it to happen

'…She probably heard some rumor about me from the gray haired asses. I'll talk to her and prove them wrong.' Kazuma thinks.

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Yeah, he may be scummy but he is like nice scummy... I'm not sure what do I mean with this

"Hey, can we talk a moment?"

"You can speak from that distance…" The woman says with her back facing him, making Kazuma grimace but pick up his pace. Stelle notices this from further away and texts Kazuma.

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I feel like there's something happening that Kazuma(or me) doesn't know

He ignores it and gets closer to Castorice.

"I'm not as bad as those two said I am!"

"It is not that…though that is a factor, you should stay further away from me." She says, not realizing until a moment later Kazuma is nearly within arm's reach. She gasps and jumps back.

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Ok, something's fishy is happening

"I'm not going to do anything!"

"That's not-wait…do you…not feel ill being so close to me?"

"Why would I feel ill?" He asks, making Castorice tilt her head in stunned silence before taking a timid step to Kazuma, then another, her eyes widening as Kazuma stands unbothered.

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Does she have like, a curse, like the one Zeref have in Fairy Tail that kills everything around him based of his love of life

"What the Hell?" Caelus and Stelle ask at the same time at seeing this Castorice standing in abject shock right in front of him.

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Looks like that

"Do you…truly feel fine?"

"I mean, I think I'm going to catch a cold from this weather but other than that, yeah." He says and Castorice blinks.

"How perplexing…but not unpleasant…"

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Oh, is he getting some action? Shame he is now taken

"Am I missing something?"

"I am the Demigod of death. Anyone that gets too close to me withers and dies…usually after feeling nausea or an intense sleepiness at a space further than this…."

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That's... good to know

"I think I know why that is the case, but a quick question…what happens to the people that die this way?"

"Well…they usually go to the afterlife, but that is in my home world of Amphoreus…I do not know if that would happen here on Belobog."

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I kinda feel like I know what's gonna happen

"What is the afterlife like on Amphoreus?"

"It is a field of flowers, meant to be a place of repose for the- Huh?!" Castorice startles with a blush when Kazuma grabs her bare shoulders.

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The good old final gambit

'Case A, I die and go to Eris, avoiding this madness, case B, I get to rest!' Kazuma thinks with a big smile as Castorice warbles, blushing and alternating between looking at his hand on her person and his smiling face.

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He really is tired of all this shit

'Or…case C…I am standing in a field gripping a young woman's shoulder…who could probably kill me…' Kazuma thinks with a growing stiff smile.

"I…did not expect people here to be immune to me…and to be so bold…" Castorice says, hands at her face as her pointed ears also turn red.

'Or case D, blushing elf girl!? This is amaz- WAIT! I'm not single…but this is a universe far far a-'

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He really is in his popular phase

Kazuma's thought stops when a rip appears behind Castorice, two giant eyes now looking at him. Then a giant claw emerges, stamping onto the ground. Castorice turns to face the dragon as it stares down Kazuma.

"Pollux wait! He does not-"

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Huh, if I had a nikel for every jealous big brother situation with characters being a variation of Castor and Pollux I would have two nikels, wich isn't a lot but it's curious it happened twice

Castorice clenches a fist and it vanishes a moment later. She runs over and helps Kazuma out of the snow.

"Thank you…"

"Do not thank me…My sister thought you must have been attacking me after what Caelus said about you."

"I assure you…he's lying…Wait, you're sister?"

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More like embellishing the truth

"He never lied before…but I am willing to hear you out…I am curious how you are immune to me when others are not…And it's a bit of a personal story regarding that…"

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He is used to dying anyways

Further away as the two talk, Caelus falls to his knees and punches the ice.

"It's not fair…why does he get to touch her without dying?!" He shouts, tears in his eyes as Stelle pats his back, crying alongside him.

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Try almost getting raped by Orcs, that may give you enough Karma the universe decides to give you a little hand

"…You two are idiots…" March says as Artoria walks over closer to Kazuma and Castorice before coughing and collapsing.

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That they are

"Why…is everything purple?" She asks while face first in the snow. Castorice walks quickly away with an apology.

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So it's not a thing for otherworlders and the effect is able to affect servants.... Shame this one doesn't have Avalon
And isn't like the version of Rin of the crossover carries it around

"You want to do what to Penacony?!" Robin asks with both hands and winged ears covering her mouth.

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Oh, BB is... BBing

"…If he wasn't here I would not tolerate even hearing this plan, Fool. It truly is the height of insanity, just like your group." Robin's servant says with crossed arms.

"Oh wow, you made a Berserker call you nuts…I'm impressed and like this plan more and more!" BB says with a wide smile.

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You would be surprised, some of them seems very down to earth

"You say that like you didn't help make this plan~. And will you two relax? It'll only affect the dreamscape. We already know what happens there doesn't affect reality…right Song bird?" Sparkle asks while tracing a finger along her throat and looking at Robin, making the singer grimace.

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I'm starting to see why they were compatibility bonded

"How thoughtless…it still hurt."

"It's not like you stayed dead~." Sparkle says, making Berserker approach with rapid steps while cracking her knuckles. BB stands in her way with red eyes.

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Yep. they are a match made in hell

"I know thinking isn't the most notable skill of your class, but surely you haven't forgot about Grady…Ms Asna~." BB says, smiling until the other servant grabs her by the throat with untraceable speed and nearly crushing her windpipe.

"M-miss Asna?!" Robin says, making her servant let go of BB, the purple haired girl now coughing. Sparkle looks at BB while shaking her head.

'You really aren't suited for combat, are you 'Moon Pie'? That feels like need to know information…' Sparkle thinks.

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She is more of a prankster, and hacker

'Are you of all people really reprimanding me for withholding information? Besides, everyone looks unsuited to combat compared to a Berserker Servant! Besides, at least I did it for a reason!' BB thinks while coughing.

'Sure you did, and I AM withholding info for a reason!'

'Is the reason,' it'll be funny'?' BB thinks back with a grin.

'Oh it will be~.'

'It better~.'

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These women are dangerous together, and alone, they are dangerous

Aventurine finds himself held in place by the chain, unable to even move his fingers to throw giant dice at his servant.

The effect only gets worse when he tries to call on more of the Preservation's power.

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Ah, Enkidu, always doing his best against demigods

[/QUOTE]

"Do not bother Master, those chains are the ultimate anti divine weapon, and only one part of my treasury."

"…I am more inclined to believe you aren't a braggart…but there is only one part that has me wary about believing in you fully."

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I mean if he uses EA he might be able to destroy their planet, seeing as they are not in Gaia anymore so the friendly fire she puts so the things born in her aren't able to fully destroy her

"What is that?"

"On the off chance you fail-"

Gilgamesh laughs, cutting him off.

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Hahahahahahhahaha
I don't know what's more funny, that he still thinks it's possible for Gil to lose or that if he does it could be for something silly like willingly stepping in an uncovered mine, yes he did it once

"…What am I to do to prevent becoming a criminal?"

"Defeat is not possible with me here…but if it will assuage your fears, simply say you are under the influence of my charisma skill. It will give you enough cover to return working like a good little slave." Gilgamesh says, making Aventurine scowl.

"A shame you can't become more power for being cocky…but I'm willing to bet on you now."

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Oh trust me, if he did he would be unstoppable

If Artoria's collapse from Castorice's presence prompting Dan Heng to carry her wasn't enough proof, Kazuma finds out first hand that Castorice's ability to kill people is still working.

The hospitalized guard finds out firster hand that Castorice's ability to kill people is still working.

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Damm, well, who is hungry?
That might give Artoria her energy back XD

Castorice sadly waits in the outskirts with Svarog.

Kazuma is dragged away by Caelus, both staring daggers at the other as they near the Supreme Guardian's office.

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They have become nemesis

"I can't help in this, so I may as well keep her company."

"No." Everyone present says.

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Let the man enjoy company he actually likes around, ok, it's mostly because I feel bad that Castorice is let outside alone

Kazuma glowers.

"Wait…Where's Hans?" He asks.

"He…just vanished." Welt says.

"Like in a thing of gold sparkles?" Emiya asks, making Stelle flinch and mutter 'Sparkle'.

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Oh god, we are not down a Caster aren't we?

"No, gave a short yell and was simply gone when we looked for him."

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"Maybe it was the lack of a Master?" March asks.

"No, as a Caster he has his own core for mana…We should look into that later." Emiya says as they enter the office.

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Technically the Casters got extra energy from the mana of the world, usually by creating their own territory that absorbs the mana from the leylines, though they also have a higher Mana Rank wich gives them more time before vanishing due to bigger reserves
The cores are usually personal skills like Artoria's Dragon core, Melusine's Dragon Heart or the Godess's core from various of the Godess servants

"Oh, the Express. It is gladdening to see you a-" Bronya stops when Mydei enters the office, glaring at him along with Seele.

Bronya pulls out a shotgun from her desk.

Seele brings out her scythe.

Mydei approaches with a smile before a dozen hands grab him.

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Fight figth fight fight

Kazuma uses lurk and tries to leave.

Caelus grabs him with a smile.

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Hehehe, got him

Phainon smiles at Mydei.

"…Not a word to Castorice."

"I won't say a word, friend~."

'Liar.' Mydei thinks as explanations begin.

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Hey, that came back

Mydei is still banned for life from Belobog, but he will not be arrested.

"What of my melancholic Servant? Will you free him?"

"We never arrested him…we were going to capture him as a way to lure you back but he did not resist."

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Yeah, that tracks

"The useless coward…Then where is he?" Mydei asks.

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Hey! He is not a coward, just depressed, this may be one of the only cases you want Jason there, he would cheer Herc in no time

"The giant sad sack just sat down in the middle of the road in the underworld and refused to move! He even let the kids play around or on top of him while muttering 'such is my fate'." Seele says.

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Ok, that's a little cute

"…Is it possible to trade my servant for-"

"No." Kazuma, Artoria, Emiya, and Cu say at the same time.

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Technically you can, but need someone to take him and a arbiter that can move command seals from a person to another

Back in the stable Aqua is glaring at Rin.

"Will you please stop, I didn't ask them to call me a Goddess!" Rin says.

"It wouldn't be beneath you, Trash-saka."

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Oh, new insult unlocked

"You're more of an enemy to women than Kazuma ever was!"

"How dare you! How can you say that?!" Rin says, all her limbs glowing.

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Yeah, let's not get hasty

"She's not wrong!" Illya says from outside the stable.

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Like you are one to talk

"You wasted no time in painting a woman that annoyed in a salacious light, thus making her time here harder." Aqua says.

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Do I need to remind you of the dead sister thing? If anything Rin was mercyfull for not going directly for murder

"And what does that make you for that one shoot?!" Rin asks.

"I'm simply being prudent."

"Is that another word for bitch in this world?" Rin asks, making Aqua gasp.

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She got a point

"Just for that, I won't be modeling for your trashy magazine!"

"I wouldn't hire you if you were the last woman here!" Rin shouts. Her anger stalls a moment when Aqua smiles and brings a hand to her face with the biggest smug grin.

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Aqua no

"…So it is you Kazuma~."

Rin raises a glowing fist and throws it.

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You've done fucked

Aqua does the same, shouting the most petulant 'God Blow'.

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Make your bets make your bets, who will win this encounter, the pervert idol or the useless goddess

Megumin warbles.

Darkness stands between them, getting punched on both sides with a moan, instantly diffusing their anger and replacing it with shame and disgust.

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And the winner is the masochist paladin, there are on refunds

Their shame makes Darkness moan once more.

Rin takes a walk.

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Yeah, you do that

Illya approaches Aqua with a grin.

"Now that the fake Goddess is gone, let's talk business~."

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Illya no, you are playing with fire, dammit Aqua is petty enough to agree

They are guided to the underworld by Seele, keeping a close eye on Mydei as others in the city watch him with tense stares.

"I will not attack citizens."

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Yeah, we are not barbarians

In the middle of the underworld square is Heracles, lying on his back on the road as kids play around him.

Mydei kicks Heracles.

"It is time to go."

"But the cold ground feels so nice…fitting for a wretch such as myself."

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Damn, mood kindred

Kazuma hands Artoria water and she drinks it as others try to convince the giant to stand up. When Artoria goes to walk she falls face first to the ground.

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Not enough it seems

Dan Heng picks her back up and she is staring listless into space.

"This seems worse than that time in the castle." Kazuma says.

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Oh, yeah, that wasn't fun

"What happened at the castle?...Oh Gods, is it anything like the church?!" March asks.

"No, she was stabbed." Cu says.

"…By stabbed-" March starts, drawing a twitching eye glare from Artoria.

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Yes, with a sword, there wasn't anything sexual there, except Gilgamesh presence

"Forced to try and kill herself with her own sword."

"How?!" Stelle asks.

"Command Seal." Kazuma says.

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Funny, that's the reason they were made

"Command seals can do that?!" Stelle and March ask at the same time.

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Between other things

"…Yes, but when it happened, the water was able to cure her, but she did have a master at the time supplying mana…maybe she needs one for it to be more effective?" Kazuma asks.

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Probably, servants can cure faster with enough mana

As they discuss options, Emiya notices a red haired young man approach and grimaces. Then he sees he is missing an arm, a broken metal arm in his living one.

"Are you the friend of hers that was beaten my Mydei?"

"Yeah, it was quite a fight…If my arm wasn't smashed up, I'd ask him for a rematch!"

"And I would gladly oblige you." Mydei says, making Seele' eyes turn red a moment.

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What a nice bromance

Emiya continues looking at the arm.

"Do you mind if I take a look at that?"

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His handyman senses are tingling

"Sure, but it is pretty messed up. Name is Luka by the way."

"Emiya." He says before taking the arm and focusing a moment. After muttering 'trace on' he analyzes the internal structure and gives it back.

"It's actually in good shape. Just a few wires are messed up and a bit of a plate needs some hammering and it'll be as good as new. I can actually fix it if you have some tools." He says, stunning Seele and Luka.

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That´s the homurahara brownie for you

"That would be amazing!" Luka says and drags Emiya over to the clinic.

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Aww, he made a friend

Artoria meanwhile looks around at her options. Welt is nowhere nearby, Kazuma is Kazuma, and Stelle is…herself.

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What a conundrum

"Just pick Stelle already." Kazuma says.

"…I'm considering fading away."

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Honestly valid

"I'll buy you an entry to the all you can eat contest at the crab stand down the road." Stelle says, making Artoria consider for a moment.

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Not even food can convince her? She really despises her

"I'm surprised you are not seeking revenge." Kazuma asks.

"If this Gilgamesh is worse than Grady, we'll need all the help we can get, and if that means spoiling you to a meal or three, it'll be worth it."

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Oh trust me, you have no idea how worse he is

'…Oddly practical.' Kazuma thinks.

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She is planning something

'…I feel something is off, but I imagine her mana is about the same quality as Welt's…and my only other option is Kazuma…' Artoria thinks with a sigh.

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You might reconsider later but it depends on how this goes

"Yippy!" Stelle says before taking Artoria off of Dan Heng's back and hugging her from behind.

"Please refrain from such displays in public…" Artoria mutters.

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She won't

"I'm surprised you didn't go for her as your master…I thought you two would get along?"

"I thought so too, until she pulled out a spear bigger than mine."

"I didn't think that would bother you? If anything I thought you would take that as a challenge while flirting with her." Kazuma asks

"It did, but that was until she pulled out the second spear."

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Oh, Shishou ptsd

"…Second spear?"

"But we're not in public, this part of the underworld is rarely visited, and everyone is distracted by Mydei and his Servant now…but I can be talked into a different venue~." Stelle says in a whisper.

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Oooh, ooooooh, I get it now

'That sounds weird as Hell…Wait…No…!' Kazuma thinks with a shudder as Artoria suddenly pales.

"Stelle…what is poking me?" Artoria asks, making Kazuma pale now.

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Kazuma is getting flashbacks of Vietnam/The crimson demon village

"My spear~."

"But you don't have that pole arm of lave right now…!"

"It's still flaming hot and quite a pole~." Stelle says, making March and Himeko blush and quietly wish Artoria luck.

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Well, this is happening, wait, did they-? You know what, I'm not asking

'Oh God…I'm Guinevere now…'

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Or Morgan XD
Though if you are Guinevere that means you would fall for a french knight that might have some unresolved feelings with your husband...Who would fill that role?

"Please tell me this is an accident…" Artoria asks.

"Oh Artoria you silly babe you…" Stelle says with a toothy smile before continuing in a whisper to Artoria's ear.

"I'm doing it on purpose!"

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I wish you the best, you might need it

"I'm not sure this is a good idea…" Jeanne says as Medea and Avicebron both make summoning circles on the basement floor.

"I have experience in this." Medea says.

"It did feel like a regular summoning when she called me." Musashi says while staring flatly at Medea.

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She knows what she's doing

"…The amount of bad summons in Romania leading to that debacle still has me wary."

"I doubt it can get worse than what happened in that grail war." Mordred says.

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You buffon, you jinxed it

"Plus having more Servants can't hurt…Right?" Kazuma asks.

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Depends of the servant

Jeanne sighs and waits as they finish the summoning.

A man in purple armor appears from Medea's circle, making Jeanne glower and Mordred pale.

"…My king?" Lancelot asks in abject shock while looking at Mordred.

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Of all the knights of the round table it had to be this one, even Agravain the woman hater would be better!
Though this may work, yes, we just need to play it right

"Ok, this is bad…" Kazuma mutters with a hand at his head.

"At least the next one can't get-"

Spartacus appears in Avicebron's circle.

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Forget it you are fucked

He takes one look at Mordred and jumps forward with an overhead swing.

"Oppressor!"

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Very fucked

Mordred narrowly avoids the blow, a small crater now in the basement floor.

"My King!" Lancelot says before attacking Spartacus.

Kazuma looks at the hole in the floor as Lancelot and Spartacus fight.

'That…was the foundation…'

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At this rate there will be no manor anymore