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Deja Vu, All Over Again (Naruto/FGO)

How bad do you want me to mutilate the Boruto setting?

  • With a chainsaw

  • With a rusty chainsaw

  • With a rusty chainsaw with the Berserk powerup

  • With a rusty chainsaw with the Berserk powerup while Rip and Tear is playing


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Yes, this is the same fic as "Reunited (Without Peaches and Cream)" and "Re-Reunited (The Crowd...
Part 1

Nitramy

Captain Quattro, YOU wa CHAR
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Yes, this is the same fic as "Reunited (Without Peaches and Cream)" and "Re-Reunited (The Crowd Say Bo Selecta".

And yes, this snippet series is partly a 'keep my writing mojo going' exercise and a 'vent my rage at Boruto's stupidity' indulgence. So if you would please allow me...

***

Deja Vu, All Over Again

***

Formalcraft

***

Sarutobi Rin was an odd duck.

A very odd duck.

When her grandfather the Third Hokage spent some time putting the pieces together, it was then that he came to the same conclusion.

Her parents had noticed her atypical reaction to the Nine-Tails' corrosive chakra, almost regarding it with curiosity as she was being led to safety.

Her piercing blue eyes also roused a bit of suspicion -- but it took a visit to Konoha General to confirm that yes, this was a million-to-one chance for their daughter to have eyes like that.

The aftermath of the attack also had Konoha rebuilding... but the Third did take some time out of his busy schedule to meet with his granddaughter, who was proving to be extremely precocious, possibly a genius to rival the Uchiha clan leader's firstborn.

Naturally, it led to Rin meeting Itachi.

Several years later, the missing-nin had to admit to himself that despite facing enemy ninja and tailed beasts, the depth of that little girl's eyes unnerved and frightened him more than anything, almost as if she was reading his very soul and finding him wanting.

Of course the massacre happened, and due to it, Rin was forced to slow down in her studies.

Grandfather Hokage said he wanted her to have some time just being a child.

The girl wistfully replied that her childhood ended after the Nine-Tails' attack.

He cried.

She hugged him and cried, too. For what reason, both of them didn't know.

***

The Hokage moved Rin to an apartment in town at her request, because she was already used to being independent, promising to move back to the Clan House when her education was completed.

It was here that Sarutobi Rin first met Uzumaki Naruto, and a friendship was born.

She would insist on calling herself his babysitter, though.

***

Imaginary Around

***

Kurama Sakura was a child born in the cadet branch of the Kurama Clan.

Despite her potential, the Clan often whispered that they were cursed, as was the girl.

Purple hair and purple eyes simply do not exist in the Kurama Clan genome.

But even then, the clan's fortunes turned around because of what the future would hold for Sakura.

And when her bloodline manifested, chaos ensued.

Crawling from the remains of the Clan were two girls: Yakumo and Sakura.

The Third could not bring himself to give the order to bind their powers; rather, he brought in one of their brightest genjutsu specialists to help them.

The cousins grew closer after the incident, and it was only during the ninja academy that the shy Yakumo and reserved Sakura emerged from their shells and learned to make friends with others.

But some still carry grudges, and when someone attempted to abduct Sakura for nefarious purposes, it was a fellow academy student that thwarted the kidnapping.

A clanless boy with brown hair and eyes.

***

Limited/Zero Over

***

In the Elemental Countries, the name "Muramasa" is a commoner's name.

Thus was the boy born into a civilian family, as even in his childhood, he dreamed of a hill illuminated by a golden sun.

But the Nine-Tails changed everything.

Two months into his life, he was orphaned.

But several years later, after hanging around the neighborhood blacksmith for too long, he found himself slowly becoming a part of the family, the blacksmith informally adopting him, giving his daughter Tenten a younger brother to dote on.

He told the blacksmith about his dream: to travel the world, and return to Konoha, and forge a blade that would stand as a testament to his travels.

It was then that the blacksmith told him to go to ninja academy, so he could learn to protect himself.

The years of study he made were uneventful, aside from his double specialty of bukijutsu and kyuudo.

And his dramatic rescue of Kurama Sakura from Cloud infiltrators.

Soon after this, the three children were inseparable, almost to the point where no one wanted to split them up when it came time for genin team assignments.

"Team thirteen: Sarutobi Rin, Kurama Sakura, Muramasa Shirou. Your jonin-sensei is Hyuuga Iroha."

***

"Are you sure you don't have a Byakugan?" Iroha-sensei asked Shirou after another successful C-rank bandit clear. The bandits were holed up in a secure compound, but did not account for attacks from long range. One arrow to the head of the ringleader and a second arrow with an exploding tag attached finished the mission.

The real surprise came when that was unofficially the record longest-distance kill shot recorded by an archer in Konoha's history.

Kyuudo had been a traditional Hyuuga specialty, but with the advances to the Gentle Fist over the years, fewer and fewer archers joined Konoha's ranks -- and Iroha was pleasantly surprised to see his genin take up the bow and the sword with equal proficiency... but Shirou wasn't the team's heavy hitter. Rin was.

She was already beginning to pick up more and more complicated elemental ninjutsu, combining even low-rank jutsu to devastating effect. Her low chakra capacity was conveniently bypassed by her affinity for using chakra tags.

And Sakura was the team's last line of defense: her bloodline limit was, to Iroha-sensei, scary as fuck. It was, to his words, "like the Nara and Yamanaka bloodlines had a nasty hate-fucking session and that was the result".

The Kumo-nin who tried to abduct her was, to put it gently, quickly and easily devoured by the shadows she summoned.

"Well, with that, we've hit the mission requirements for the Chunin Exam... the three of you don't look too enthused to joining."

"With all due respect, sensei," Sakura began, "we're doing good work out in the field. We've already talked it over -- we're going to earn our vests the hard way. And when the jonin trials come around, we're going to kick ass and chew bubblegum."

Rin laughed.

"Not quite how I put it, but yes. We're going to try and look for missions that are ranked lower than they actually are, and we'll take care of 'em. Lucky Thirteens. That's what they'll call us."

"Sarutobi, do you really think we can do it?"

"Of course!"

***

It was during the Fourth Ninja World War that Team 13 had earned their names and their jonin vests, earning the highest number of enemy combatants killed over the course of the conflict.

What would you expect from the three of them?
 
Part 2
note: Hyuuga Iroha is an OC I made for this story. He's a... background character, at most. Also, "Kagayako Mamoru" is a bastardized adaptation of the name "Will Robinson".

***

Teamwork Tests

***

The jonin's mind was awash with many thoughts even as his feet dragged him to a familiar place: the jonin bar.

"Well, if it isn't Iroha-kun!" cheered one of the jonin-sensei. "How'd testing for your kiddies go?"

What would have been a chance to endlessly rib one of Konoha's newest jonin-sensei stopped in their tracks as they saw his drawn expression and empty white eyes as he went on autopilot to the bar and asked for a bottle of sake.

***

"Hah, I lucked out. My genin are pretty damn good at working together already. Shikamaru-kun got a plan and his teammates to follow through when I said their last teamwork test was sparring," Sarutobi Asuma said to many impressed jonin at the bar. He was about to continue when he heard a disdainful snort followed by several hacking coughs from the other end of the bar -- and when everyone turned, they saw a tipsy Hyuuga Iroha scratching the back of his head.

"Sorry, went down the wrong pipe," he said, and he was dead sure that he was not slurring his words, not one bit, no. He was a Hyuuga, and Hyuuga did not get drunk -- okay, after seeing what Sakura-chan could do, he definitely needed the rest of that bottle of sake. "But I'd like to say my genin put up a fight with more... synergy... than yours."

Asuma smiled. Perfect chance to see what his niece and her friends were up to. Especially the weird one from the Kurama clan who saw her more as an older sister than a teammate.

"Oh really?" he asked. "Do tell, Iroha-kun."

The Hyuuga slammed the bottle with a little more force than his Hyuuga upbringing would have liked, turned to his fellow jonin-sensei, and gave a savage grin.

"With pleasure."

***

Sarutobi Rin was always the unsung fashion plate among her fellow kunoichi -- it helped that clothes seemed to look more graceful whenever she wore them.
The line and grace of her movements were only exceeded by the insouciant attitude she had towards the idea of ninja being fashionable, which earned her the unending and unknown rivalry throughout her years at the Academy from nearly every other kunoichi-to-be.

Today, she was strutting towards the designated training area in a cross of a ninja outfit and a foreigner's red dress, weapon compartments cleverly hidden within the puffs of her sleeves, seal matrices on the cuffs of her wrists designed to store tools and tags, a corset molded to her form and serving both as protection and distraction as it served to draw the attention to the sliver of skin between her skirt and the ninja mesh thigh-high stockings she wore to emphasize her legs. Thanks to the nature of her outfit, the Konohagakure forehead protector was tied to her waist as a belt.

The fashionable ninja sandals served little more than an afterthought.

Unlike other teams of genin, when the three of them took their first look at Hyuuga Iroha, it felt more like they were judging him than he was judging them: a Sarutobi girl, a cadet Kurama and a civilian Muramasa was a very unconventional team composition, but the jonin was dead set on getting his three genin good enough for the chunin exams after the upcoming one in Konoha.

Rin narrowed her blue eyes as she looked to the distance, to see that her two teammates were already there, waiting for her.

Kurama Sakura was wearing an outfit that would best be described as "outlandish": there was a kimono for her upper body and right arm, but her left arm had a black sleeve, and a long purple skirt rounded out her ensemble -- and like Rin, her protector was around her waist.

Muramasa Shirou rounded out the trio, and he wore something more samurai than ninja. A red igote with the Konoha symbol design on his left arm under a mesh shirt, a red wristband on his right arm, a white cape with a floral design underneath, yoroi hakama and suneate (armored samurai pants and greaves), tabi socks and zori-styled ninja sandals rounded out his outfit.

As soon as Rin bid her teammates -- no, they were so much more than that -- good morning, Iroha took that moment to appear in front of them in a puff of smoke.

"Good morning, genin! It looks like you're ready for the final test before your ninja career officially starts," he began, and the next part of his speech was quickly forgotten when he saw the guarded expressions on his team's faces.

"Well, I'll need to see a bit of what you can do, gauge your abilities, then we can start the test. How's that sound?"

***

"Fuinjutsu has helped me a great deal in the pursuit of my own branch of ninjutsu," Rin began proudly. "It was an idea that was inspired from tales of the Fourth Hokage, where he was able to place his famous Thunder God seals on wherever or whoever he wanted, with just a touch."

She picked up a pebble from the ground, and Iroha's bloodline immediately recognized the flow of chakra from Rin to the pebble.

"I just put the finishing touches on this yesterday. Fire Release... Fireball!"

Sarutobi Rin flung the pebble across the field, and when it was around five meters away from her, the stone turned into a fireball, slamming into a tree before detonating.

Hyuuga Iroha was left gaping while her fellow genin only gave impressed nods.

"Does that mean you have the C-Rank suite completed already?" Muramasa asked.

"We should be able to adapt this to multiple elements now, nee-san," Sakura added. "It would have been easier if we had a jonin-sensei with the Sharingan..."

Rin's expression just looked even more smug.

"We won't be needing a Sharingan user with me around!" she said. "Isn't that right, sensei? Sensei?"

He just turned towards her and nodded.

***

"Well, I have some sort of extreme affinity for storing things," Shirou began. "Unfortunately, they're nearly all bladed weapons of some sort."

He spread his hands and two ninjato appeared in them.

"They are also chakra constructs, meaning I can modify them," he continued, summoning a black bow before turning the ninjato into an arrow. "I think it is my propensity for kyuudo that brought you here, sensei."

He nocked the arrow and fired, shaving off the top third of a tree in the next training ground over.

Hyuuga Iroha sweated a bit.

This kid is going to get me to Hiashi-sama and ask for our standard kyuudo suite and an ancestry test!

***

"Unfortunately, sensei, I can't describe what my bloodline limit is," Sakura began, looking like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. "I'd rather just show you."
Iroha's thinking process ground to a halt.

Wait a minute, why does she have white hair now, wasn't it purple awhile ago -- and what are those red markings on the side of her face -- DANGER, DANGER, KAGAYAKO MAMORU, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, THIS IS NEITHER THE YAMANAKA NOR THE NARA NOR THE KURAMA CLAN BLOODLINE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE--

***

"That was unnecessary, Sakura," Rin began.

"I'm sorry, nee-san," she replied. "But it's better that sensei sees it here, now, than in a mission."

"Sensei," Shirou said as he splashed their team leader's face with some water from his canteen.

"Oh, what was that... ah, Muramasa-kun?"

"You passed out after overloading your Byakugan, sensei," Rin added. "Just for five minutes, while your mind shut down to protect you."

"Yeah, right," the Hyuuga replied, before standing up and dusting himself off. "Okay, we're done, let's get to the last part of the genin exam -- sparring! You three against me. And don't hold back, because I'm a jonin, and I am more than a match for you."

"Okay," Shirou replied, drawing his sensei's attention away from the other two, because of one of them looking awkward and another looking even more smug. "We'll do our best. Do we have a time limit?"

"Around fifteen minutes is fine. Take five to prepare, then we begin."

It took the three of them five minutes to overpower him.

And it was during this time that Iroha finally acknowledged what was truly bothering him about his three new genin: powers aside, they did not need any prompting to fight to kill, and their teamwork was unbelievably impeccable and polished; it was almost like they had been doing this for years instead of months.

He thought Shirou's preference for kyuudo was an overspecialization, and had his kunai and shuriken shattered by a pair of black and white falchions the boy summoned.

He thought Rin's preference for ninjutsu and fuinjutsu was also an overspecialization, and found out the hard way that she -- not Hinata -- was the best female taijutsu practitioner in her year, only going unranked due to her affiliation with the Hokage. Those genjutsu blasts of hers also made him feel very ill briefly until his chakra flushed the effect out of his system.

Finally, he thought Sakura's powers were all she had -- that was also wrong. Sakura had chakra strings and instead of using them for puppetry, used them to fling weapons and jutsu at odd angles.

Part of him rationalized it with those three being inseparable since the second Cloud incident, and a part of him dreaded the fact that it could possibly be due to factors beyond his comprehension.

The jonin also noted that his three genin had a grasp of ninjutsu that fit their level, but it was their specialties that were far above genin class. Put simply, they were just too good at what they did.

Still, he got himself a good team of genin, and passed them...

...oh, there's that big black shadow looming over me again.

He passed out again, much to his dismay.

***

"...and that's what happened," Iroha said. "I am so going to have my hands full over the next few months..."

Chaos ensued in the jonin bar.

And in between the pandemonium, Sarutobi Asuma slipped his fellow jonin some ryo to foot his drink. It was bad enough to have prodigies as your genin, but overpowered prodigies?

He made a mental note to later say a prayer to the Sage for Hyuuga Iroha's sanity.
 
Part 3
***

Team Interactions

***

"Did you know that my Grandfather has knowledge of at least fifteen different countermeasures to the Byakugan and Gentle Fist, respectively, across each of the three major ninja disciplines?" Sarutobi Rin began, teaching stick on hand and wearing glasses as she gestured towards a chalkboard in an empty Academy classroom she rented out for the afternoon.

"No... I did not," Hyuuga Hinata's quiet voice replied.

"I didn't hear you that well. Speak up," Rin said.

"Father thought Hokage-sama knew ten," Hinata admitted, after a moment of thought.

"Well, that's neither here nor there, but given that I am one of the Hokage's grandchildren, you would assume that I would have at least cursory knowledge of this. And you would be correct; I do have enough knowledge about that subject a genin is normally cleared for. After all, I gave Hokage-jiisama the suggestion to add 'bloodline countermeasures' in the Academy curriculum after the Uchiha massacre. Anyway, enough about that. You came here to me for help, didn't you?"

The girl shrank into herself.

Rin made a face.

"You're not going to get anywhere looking and acting like that," she said. "But I will have to swear you to secrecy as representatives of our clans, because my jonin-sensei already said my taijutsu technique can be grounds for a clan-based dispute... he's already talking with Hokage-jiisama about it. When your dad makes the proclamation, consider the oath fulfilled, Hinata."

"Why do you have to take those lengths to hide your taijutsu form, Rin-san?"

"Do you really want to know? Attack me."

Hinata's Gentle Fist strike was batted aside and a mirror image of that attack stopped inches from her face.

"This is why," Rin said. "I do not have the eyes, but I know the moves. If you're trying to find someone who can teach you in the weeks towards the chunin exams, then..."

Sarutobi Rin flung her arms out wide.

"Rejoice, young lady! Your wish will be granted."

***

"So this is what you do when you're not in a D-rank or training?" the redhead asked.

"Yes," Nara Shikamaru replied. "It's a long story on how our families started this habit, but it's worked for us for a long time now."

"I see," Muramasa Shirou said, taking up a spot beside his fellow genin. "I'm actually not here to cloud-watch; Chouji-san said he'd introduce me to one of his aunts, they need a cook, and I need the extra funds for more smithing materials."

"I take it you've been to Ino's place already."

"I have; her knowledge about plants has been helping my herb garden wonderfully."

"Just wondering why you said 'yes' to Chouji," Ino chimed in from her spot. "Dad was this close to either hire you on the spot or write up a betrothal contract for us."

Shirou's eyes twinkled in amusement.

"I get that a lot."

Five minutes later, Chouji came, and Shirou thanked his two fellow genin for keeping him company before they left towards the Akimichi restaurant Shirou wanted to apply to.

***

Somewhere in the more quiet part of Konoha, two girls were painting. The redhead looked sad, but her eyes were focused as she finished her landscape. The other one carried herself with more elegance as she painted the portrait of a blindfolded woman with purple hair and a black dress.

"Nice work," Yakumo said as she stood up to take a break and look at what her cousin was doing. "Someone you know?"

"Once upon a time," Sakura replied with a smile. "You never forget people who have been close to your heart, no matter the age and distance."

"Just like your genin team, Sakura-chan?"

"Just like my genin team, Yakumo-chan," Sakura answered.

***

He found the person he wanted to talk to at the Memorial Stone.

"Ah," the other ninja standing there said, acknowledging his presence. "Heard you were asking around, looking for me, Iroha-kun."

"Yes," Hyuuga Iroha said. "You're exactly the jonin-sensei I need. Tell me, how do you deal with genin who can potentially overshadow you -- or are in the process of overshadowing you?"

Hatake Kakashi grinned under his mask.

"Intangibles, experience, and attitude," he said, giving his fellow jonin-sensei a smile before turning back to the Memorial Stone.

"Sounds good," Iroha added. "Mind if I spend five minutes here at the stone? Lost a lot of good friends in the past years."

Kakashi nodded, and a comfortable silence followed as the two ninja stood vigil to the memories of lost comrades.

***

"I was planning to give this mission to another team, but since I heard that there WAS a genin team that was going out of its way to find under-ranked missions, I suppose you can have this C-Rank, Iroha-kun. Bridge builder, escort mission. You up to it?"

"Ready and waiting to serve, Hokage-sama. Team Thirteen accepts."

"Excellent," the Third Hokage said, with a slight narrowing of the eye Iroha read as 'if I see even a hair out of place on my granddaughter's head, you will wish I gift-wrapped you and tossed you to Kumo's mercy', "Bring in the client."

***

(NOTE: No, this wasn't Wave Country, but another bridge that ended up as another A-Rank mission. And yes, Team Lucky Thirteens kicked more ass than a one-legged guy in an ass-kicking contest there.)
 
Part 4
***

Yorokobe, shoujo

***

"...well, we can consider the fact that Shirou returned with you as a mission accomplished, instead of ending up as a Nadeshiko Village stud," the Hokage proclaimed. "Our negotiators did point out that the location of the bridge is a key tactical location, and allowing Konoha to hold it would make it easier to defend against other large Villages. You know that Nadeshiko is at loggerheads with most Hidden Villages..."

"...but with Kumogakure the most, I agree, Hokage-sama," Rin finished. "Are we sure we haven't, and I quote, 'spread our wild oats' in that village? It sounds like something a certain part-time author and former student of yours would do, no disrespect meant."

"None taken," the Hokage replied with a smile. "I do not claim to read the minds of my ninja, even if I have the Yamanaka at my disposal. Still, though. There have been reports of illegitimate ninja children being raised in Nadeshiko either to fight or to stud, whatever the case may be. Regardless, I like the way your team handled this potential diplomatic crisis. Hyuuga-kun, please stay behind."

Rin, Shirou and Sakura bowed to the Hokage and left, while their jonin-sensei remained to gain some last-moment bits of advice.

"Are you sure they don't need the injutsu program? They're still children."

Iroha smiled. "Hokage-sama, I've been in the service for nearly all my known life, if not for the Clan, then the Village. Hiashi-sama personally picked out my wife-to-be. As a combat spec, I was only given the standard injutsu protocols as per my rank. Tried breaching the idea to my genin, but one round-table discussion later, I found out their comprehensive knowledge about THAT sort of thing made me look like an Academy student. You shouldn't have any worries about them -- that's not in their immediate concerns or priorities, and your granddaughter already made her own set of upgrades to the standard injutsu countermeasures we have for genin."

"My troublesome genius granddaughter tends to do those things, just because she can," the Hokage said with a sigh. "How is their teamwork?"

"Impeccable as always, sir."

"And I know about the meeting with your Clan Head tomorrow; tell him I have already prepared for it. Speaking of which, another genin team is due to return from their first C-Rank at the end of the week -- I have set an appointment for you this coming Friday."

"Acknowledged, sir."

***

A few days later, Team 7 returned uneventfully, and a few days after that saw Team 13 and Team 8 engaging in a spar.

Mostly, it was Rin teaching Hinata some of what she knew about what looked like the Gentle Fist but what Rin called Bajiquan (Guy-sensei would say that they were functionally the same thing when his team sparred with the now-named Lucky Thirteens).

"I don't need fancy eyes to sense your weakness!" Rin declared as she parted Hinata's guard with a well-placed elbow before sending her skidding across the field with a palm thrust.

What followed was unexpected: she let out a tired breath.

"I'm done," she said, frustration piling heavy on her tone. "This isn't going anywhere."

Rin expected an outburst, pleading, or anything: she didn't expect her fellow genin to just stand there, twiddling her thumbs like a child instead of the kunoichi they were expected to grow into.

At the sight, she took a few breaths to steady herself, straightened herself out, walked to the edge of the training ground... and took her frustration out on the nearest training post she found, using a single bajiquan strike to disintegrate the top half of it.

"AAAAAARGH!"

Before anyone could say anything more, it was Iroha who went to the defense of his genin.

"We'll reschedule for next time, okay? I'll deal with this. My genin has had a bad week."

He didn't need fancy eyes to know that Yuuhi Kurenai's gaze was telling him "you'd better".

***

They found her in one of the more secluded training grounds, firing jutsu everywhere.

"Tohsaka!" Muramasa called, and the barrage of jutsu stopped.

Hyuuga Iroha had long since chalked up the odd name to some sort of nickname his three genin used for Rin, and was thus unsurprised when they finally caught up to her.

What they didn't expect was to see that Rin's face was marked with streaks of tears that were shed during her jutsu showcase.

He made towards his genin, but Sakura raised her hand and shook her head before turning back to her teammate; and the jonin was content to just stay back and try to read their body language to see what was going on for Rin to lose her temper -- towards a clan heiress, no less.

"Nee-san," Sakura began quietly, "have you been crying?"

"I just don't know what to do," Rin said with a sigh, while most definitely not wiping what were most definitely not tears from her eyes. "I don't know how to get to Hinata. I've tried everything. She just... I don't know."

"Tohsaka," Muramasa said as soon as he saw Rin flop down seated onto the grass, "maybe you're crossing a certain line here."

"Listen," Rin explained, "I'm the grandchild of this village's strongest ninja. Of course I'm obliged to do something!"

"Nee-san," Sakura chimed in, "you're already doing what you can. It's up to Hinata-chan to meet you halfway. If you really want her to do her best, you should at least try to put yourself in her shoes."

Sarutobi Rin took a few moments to digest what her teammate said, and when she did, her mood did a complete 180-degree swing back to her usual exuberant self.

"Sakura... that's it! Perfect!" she exclaimed. "I could hug you right now but sensei is watching."

"All right, let's see what you have in mind, Tohsaka," Muramasa said, and they stood up and returned to where their jonin-sensei was waiting for them, Rin telling them the details of what she had in mind.

"Everything taken care of?"

Rin nodded, followed by Shirou and Sakura -- and the three of them were the picture of proper decorum as befits two clan ninja, with a third clanless genin with the potential to be a huge asset to any clan lucky enough to snap the old ball and chain on.

"Everything is taken care of. With the Chunin exams less than six weeks away, this matter will be resolved within 24 to 48 hours satisfactorily," Rin announced, and their sensei had a worried look on his face.

When Sarutobi Rin had that look, that meant she had something unsavory planned.

***

Just like clockwork, the day after Rin's outburst, another team spar was scheduled with Team 8.

Unlike before, Hinata was a lot more aggressive, and targeting Rin in particular... which caused the spar to end embarrassingly quickly.

After the requisite tactical talks, the jonin finally left their genin to speak among themselves.

"What did you do?" Hinata asked quietly as she confronted the Sarutobi granddaughter.

"Do what?" Rin asked, feigning ignorance, but the look in her eyes said 'What are you going to do about it?' to the Hyuuga girl.

"Father settled the matter with the Hokage last night," she said, and despite the calm of her voice, she was giving off killing intent in waves. "You won't have to worry about breaching 'clan secrets', since you only have the technique half of the Gentle Fist."

What was even stranger was that Rin only met that display with her characteristic insouciance.

"If you want to continue," she replied, "then I want to see the same drive you have, right now; I want to see that whenever you're personally training with me. I don't just want to see you survive this. I want to see you thrive. Am I understood?"

"Yes," Hinata gritted out.

"I didn't hear you properly."

"Yes, senpai."

Rin's eyes glittered.

"Good. You know where to find me later."

***

"Now that you're done with downtime, I'd like to hear your story of the Wave mission, Naruto-kun," Rin began.

The entire wing of the apartment was fashioned into a suite for Rin's genin team, with Uzumaki Naruto having a portion of the suite as his own personal space.

It was well worth the trade-off, as Naruto found out his own space was much larger when the Hokage bought out the entire top floor of the apartment for his granddaughter.

"Okay," Naruto replied. "Can I take this weird charm off now?"

"You may," Rin answered.

***

At the Memorial Stone was where the Copy Ninja found one of the newest jonin-sensei.

"Ah, Iroha-kun," he began. "Heard your wards have been making waves among their age-mates."

"You heard about the Hyuuga thing? Well, it only looked like a debacle from the surface. Wasn't really worth starting a clan dispute about. Did you need me for anything, Kakashi-san?"

"Well, my genin have been getting a bit too big for their britches. I need a spar against a team that will bring them back to earth. Your team sounds good?"

Iroha smiled.

"It's fine," he said. "If any, though, my genin and I would prefer it to be a four-on-four, jonin-sensei included."

The Copy Ninja was instantly on alert.

"Sure thing, though you won't be picking up much from me," he replied nonchalantly, though his sixth sense was telling him that something was amiss.

"I'm not counting on that, but it would be nice to at least see one of Konoha's elite in action from the receiving end," Iroha replied, but his smile had no humor in it.

They shook hands, confirming the spar, and Kakashi left, confused about what just happened.

***

Notes:

Shirou, Rin and Sakura still use their nicknames from their previous lives.

Injutsu is a set of techniques revolving around seduction and counter-seduction. Konoha, as is their reputation, only teaches counter-seduction techniques from the Academy up to chunin. Seduction techniques are often taught to illusion, interrogation, and dedicated seduction specialists. (The term is from La Blue Girl, btw -- which is a hentai.)

Also, a cookie to whoever correctly guesses what Rin did.
 
Part 5
In the Age of the Gods

***

"Tell me again, why are we here in your Grandfather's archives when we could be out preparing for the chunin exams?" Muramasa Shirou asked, while skimming through scrolls, looking for something related to the Sage of Six Paths.

"You smelled it, didn't you, Shirou?" Sarutobi Rin asked back. "The mana in the air is thicker here than back in our world; it means that we are in the infancy of an age after the gods of this world. Based on what little I've read in the archives, it seems that the Sage was the one responsible for ending it."

Shirou nodded.

"But how long ago was that, that this age still has this much magic?"

"Not long," Kurama Sakura answered, procuring a scroll. "This seems to have some answers: there are parallels here to what our world called the Velber back then."

"Aliens?" Shirou and Rin asked in disbelief.

"Apparently so," Sakura answered. "With my affinity, I've been able to access more of my power in ways that I've yet to truly begin to understand... but I need a powerful anchor, or something."

"We could work on that. Oh, and I found something. It's corroborating your scroll, Sakura."

"That's it, senpai! I think I already know what to do. Chakra and my Imaginary Numbers have been surprisingly compatible with one another."

The three of them continued plotting deep into the afternoon.

***

"I assume your information gathering was successful, team?" Hyuuga Iroha asked the trio the next day.

"Very successful," the three of them replied in unison, then Shirou continued. "It might take a week or two to acclimatize ourselves to it, but we already have the foundation of taking the next leap forward in power; we'll probably take the chunin exams at the end of the month, if all goes well."

"I don't think we will, though," Rin said, thoughtful.

"Tohsaka?" Shirou asked.

"Nee-san?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know, it's just a gut feeling," Rin responded. "With what has happened, I hear Cloud is sending several teams for this exam, and you know how they are around bloodlines..."

Everyone made a face.

"Speaking of bloodlines, I may have gotten the three of you in a spar with Team 7. Hatake Kakashi thinks his genin are getting a bit too overconfident. Maybe you can bring them back to earth?"

Rin grinned evilly.

"...Nothing permanent, of course," Iroha added, and Rin just shrugged.

"We'll accept, as long as both jonin-sensei are part of the spar," Rin finally said after taking a moment to think. "Four-on-four sounds nice."

Why did Iroha suddenly feel a trap door opening in his chest and then his heart falling through when he heard that, though?

***

Before the Spar

***

"Tohsaka, are you really sure this is the way? Hanging out sensei to dry like that?"

"Yes," Rin replied. "It's not the genin we're going for, anyway. We need actual combat experience with these skills, to minimize the risk of sudden developments in the heat of actual battle. Besides, it's not like the so-called 'Copy Nin' can use that fancy eye of his to replicate your swordplay, my magecraft, and Sakura's talents... right?"

"That makes a lot of sense, nee-san, but what if Hatake-san goes to your grandfather?"

"I've already got my cover story prepared, you let me worry about that. Now come on, Team 7 is waiting for us."

***

Monsters

***

"All right, Kakashi-kun. Tell me how the spar went again. Spare no details," the Third Hokage said.

Team 7's jonin-sensei looked like a flounder, disheveled and slouching on the chair, headband off, and Sharingan eye looking in random directions.

"First of all, your granddaughter insisted the spar include the jonin-sensei. I didn't think much of it... Iroha's a good jonin-sensei, but he was never meant to be a frontline heavy combatant nin. I tired him out by making him overuse his chakra, and that's when things went from bad to worse."

"How so?"

"I thought I could handle his genin easily. Turns out, they'd already taken care of Team 7 without breaking a sweat, and then suddenly this energy field sprouts from the training ground. That Muramasa boy apparently rigged the field with his knives and made some sort of dome my Sharingan couldn't see out of... and then..."

He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Muramasa's not just a kyuudo prodigy. He's a swordsman that would give Hayate pause, and not just with standard weaponry. Anything that can be called a sword, he wields like he's been using them all his life, it's uncanny."

"My granddaughter?"

"I can't copy her jutsu."

"What?"

"Tried using my Sharingan whenever she uses jutsu. I couldn't copy it. I just saw the chakra flowing in weird lines and angles, and then, boom! Fireball. Small water dragon. Earth wall. Shock bolt. Wind fist. Weaker, lower-ranked versions of the A-rank jutsu I've seen. And that thing she calls bajiquan, if she wasn't your granddaughter I would have sworn she was a Hyuuga, the way she uses it. Even worse, when she started mixing up those weird jutsu with her attacks... had to pull out nearly all the stops, Hokage-sama."

"And the Kurama girl?"

Hatake Kakashi shuddered.

"She said something like 'install', and she transformed into a girl with blades for legs, nearly cut me in two with those kicks of hers... and her personality completely changed. When I tried to summon a Raikiri..."

"YOU USED THE RAIKIRI... ON A GENIN?"

"No, Hokage-sama," Kakashi clarified, "I just summoned it, as a show of force, to try and intimidate her, based on her academy personality test... anyway, that also didn't work, all Kurama Sakura said upon seeing it was 'ooh, scary, scary', then went at me with those bladed legs of hers, so I never really got a chance to use my jutsu..."

"What happened after that?"

He sighed, and he collapsed even further into the seat.

"Three genin beat me up."

***

"What's this I heard, Iroha-kun? You're NOT taking your genin to this year's chunin exams?"

"That's beyond my pay grade, Asuma-kun. Let's just say the higher-ups would rather have me and the Lucky Thirteens raise hell in Kiri... better yet, Iwa or Kumo."

Iroha turned to the other end of the bar where Hatake Kakashi let out a visible sigh of relief as he relaxed into his seat, and was confused. He was never going to be half the shinobi the Copy Nin was, and he was taken down in quick and efficient fashion during the spar, so why...?

His hand started trembling so badly that he had to put his sake glass down.

He didn't have overpowered prodigies as genin.

He had RIDICULOUSLY OVERPOWERED prodigies as genin.

No wonder the Hokage didn't want them unleashed here; he was saving them for emergency purposes.

But, from what he heard, what was that transformation Sakura used...?

He made a mental note to ask his genin about it on Monday.

***

NOTE: Thanks to the Otsutsuki mythos, chakra and imaginary number magecraft turned Matou Kurama Sakura into a walking Moon Cancer, giving her the ability to transform into any of the Sakura Five at will.
 
Part 6
A/N: Now we shift POV's from anyone not named Shirou, Rin, or Sakura.

***

Before the Exams

***

"Oi, Sasuke, quit brooding and let's go train. You need to work on mastering that Sharingan of yours right?"

"...fine."

It had been a very sobering moment for when Uchiha Sasuke realized that those three housemates of the dead-last finally stopped holding back, showing off a glimpse of their power to him.

He still had periodic headaches whenever he tried processing what it was exactly he saw.

Was it the Muramasa's mastery of any and every bladed weapon?

Was it the Hokage's granddaughter and her flawless mastery of the elements?

Or was it the Kurama girl and the maelstrom of power lurking within her?

Whatever it was, it knocked him right back down to earth, and he had been throwing himself into training ever since that spar, dragging his teammates along with him.

If the days leading up to the chunin exams would have them spar with monsters like those three, what would the exams bring? Actual jonin to fight?

He didn't want to think about that, but he had to prepare for the eventuality of it, even if his teammates began to ask him to slow down.

"Well, senpai said rest is just as important as training, so we can recover and get stronger," Naruto said after another session of sparring and jutsu practice. "We've been running ourselves into the ground and we haven't shown any signs of improvement. We won't outgrow, let alone catch up to, our senpai at this rate."

"Please stop calling them 'senpai'," Sakura said. "We graduated at the same time."

"Did you hear what they did to sensei? Sensei's famous as the copy-nin and those three went at him like he owed them money!" Naruto exclaimed. "If that doesn't earn them 'senpai' privilege, nothing will. Besides, it's what the other Sakura-chan calls Muramasa-san."

"So... that's why you stopped calling me Sakura-chan."

"Well... yeah," Naruto replied, scratching the back of his head, "that, and they are both better cooks than you."

"How do you -- wait, you live with them. Why didn't you warn us?"

"I DID, Sasuke. I kept telling you and sensei they were dangerous."

"Fine, all right, I get it... let's just get ourselves strong enough for the exams, okay?"

"Right!"

***

Emissary

***

The Chunin exams began uneventfully, with the contingents from each village arriving at the test center.

It would have been only Konoha and her allies, but a few events involving high-ranked missions piqued the interest of other villages, and they sent teams there to see what was going on.

Naruto didn't pay any of that notice, as he was currently chatting with Hinata about the upcoming exam.

Everything stopped when the Sound team came in: while the genin looked intimidating, it was the jonin-sensei escorting them to the test center that caught everyone's attention.

It was a veritable tidal wave of power emanating from the little slip of a girl, and that got everyone's notice.

Even then, the girl seemed quiet and guarded as she gave her genin last-minute tips.

"Remember what we came here for," she said. "We are here to gain good publicity for our village. Defend yourselves if you must, but do not end life needlessly. Avoid conflict, stick to the shadows, and give honor to Otogakure."

"Yes, sensei!" the three genin said before entering the test center, and the jonin-sensei made her way into the streets of Konoha, her white outfit, slitted ninja pants, and slanted forehead protector making her look nondescript even as other ninja gave her curious looks.

She whispered into the air.

"I may have knowledge of a person who seeks to disrupt these proceedings," and as soon as she did, several Konoha ANBU popped up.

"We would like to know more," the lead ANBU said.

"Gladly," the jonin that looked like a little girl playing ninja responded. "The time-sensitive matter now is delaying the second part of the exams to tomorrow, or better yet, the day after that."

"We'll take that into consideration," the ANBU replied. "You're not the jonin-sensei for Otogakure on the register. May we have a name, please?"

"I am not at liberty to give my true name now," the jonin-sensei of Otogakure answered, "but you may call me Tengoku Chiyo."

***

The Lucky Thirteens were given border patrol duty at the time, which was why it was only at the finals where Shirou and the others determined that someone was there who shouldn't be.

It was too late, because by then, Otogakure had already withdrawn from the competition, and returned to the Land of Rice Fields -- none of their three genin made it to the finals.

***

"How did things go?" a sultry, breathy voice asked as soon as Chiyo's team returned.

"About as well as it could," the jonin-sensei replied. "We have acquired the material needed, and we have averted a regional crisis. The accidental release of a tailed beast was something we could not prevent, however."

The other voice 'hmm'ed in approval.

"The old man will most likely start searching for a successor. Tell our sleeper to gather information about that -- and tell him that if he gets another life lost unnecessarily, I will hunt him down myself and deliver his bones as a gift to Konoha."

"Understood, leader-sama. A question, though... why the sudden change in priority? From belligerence, we are now supporting Konoha from the shadows..."

"Suffice it to explain that I have orders to keep Konoha safe, because someone's younger brother is a genin there."

"Understood, leader-sama."

"Now, now, do not be so callous towards me," the leader-sama said. "Come here, child. Let me spoil you for a moment."

From out of the shadows, a pair of kimono-clad arms sprang out, grabbing the powerful jonin in an embrace, and then a hand began to pet the top of her head.

"Good girl. Good girl. Take your genin on a break for a week before we track down this 'Tsunade' person."

"Yes..." the blushing jonin said. "Thank you, leader-sama."

"No need to thank me. Good girl, good girl."

***

Introspection

***

"So what are YOU doing in my dreams?" Naruto asked as he was dreaming of a meadow when a house-sized red fox with nine tails started walking alongside him.

"The three you live with. They are dangerous."

"How so?"

"The structure of this world was built on the foundation of ninshu. Those three live on a different foundation altogether, and are close to deciphering the secrets of this world."

"And this should be my concern... why?"

The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox nodded.

"Because when they do, we will be put under the scrutiny of those who came before, much earlier than before. Either try slowing them down, or get stronger until they get here."

The fox ran ahead of Naruto into the horizon and faded away.

He opened his eyes to see the ceiling of his apartment suite.

"So that wasn't a dream?" Naruto asked nobody, and felt his belly for the still-warm seal containing the most powerful of the tailed beasts.

"All right, if something like that would cause you concern, I'll do it," Naruto whispered. "Besides, it's also what I want to do. My senpai are strong. I want to catch up to them."

The seal warmed up a little bit before subsiding, and Naruto went back to sleep, promising himself to look up 'ninshu' as soon as he woke up, right before he'd meet with that old pervert for some super-duper top secret mission.

***
 
Part 7
notes: Here's return of the comeback, part II, the sequel: electric boogaloo of the whole "Search for Tsunade" arc. This encounter happens because of the Sharingan's intimate connection with death... also yes, it's a really nice coincidence that [REDACTED] used Ibuki as a pseudonym, because of the Street Fighter III/IV/V character Ibuki, who is a kunoichi.

***

Red Dawn

***

"It seems we've been spotted," the cloaked man said to his fellow cloaked companion as the Copy-nin stood in their path. "Hello, senpai."

"You coming back here is never a sign of good news, clan-slayer," Hatake Kakashi said, before brandishing a kunai. "And your big blue friend, too."

"Ha!" the other man blurted out. "It seems my reputation has preceded me already. How nice."

Unfortunately, the standoff was broken when Uchiha Itachi the clan-slayer leaped to the side, as an arrow that would have perforated his head passed through where he was, before impacting the ground and detonating in a burst of chakra.

Everyone was thinking the same thing: What the fuck was that?!

And that was when the girl in red made her appearance.

"...and here I was, theorizing with my genin about possible upgrades to the Sharingan, when my salvation comes to my lap. It seems my bad luck did not follow me here," Sarutobi Rin announced, blue eyes shining as she arrived at the scene. "Hello, Itachi."

The cold feeling in the pit of the rogue Uchiha's stomach immediately returned in force; thus, he wasted no time and immediately made his move, aiming to incapacitate the Copy-nin to create a diversion.

However, what met his pinwheel eyes wasn't one normal eye and a transplanted Sharingan, but a pair of brilliant blue ones.

It was too late for him to release the jutsu.

"Tsukuyomi!"

***

Rorschach'd

***

"This isn't the world of Tsukuyomi," Itachi said as soon as the jutsu activated.

"It seems my hypothesis is correct," Rin declared as she walked towards him. "There IS another level to the Sharingan. And this level of complexity for a mere illusion... I'll wager it's a pocket dimension, based on the architecture of this place is designed... and how the chakra forms a malleable four-dimensional structure."

This Sarutobi Rin looked like an older version of the genin, and was examining the jutsu with curiosity.

"Be that as it may, you are at my mercy," Itachi said dispassionately, hiding the rising panic within him.

How is she able to quickly and accurately describe what is going on in this jutsu when she has only been here for a moment?!

"True, but given how malleable this is to me, I think this four-dimensional structure has a psychosomatic aspect to it. The Sharingan awakens on the threat of imminent death, and smart money says that death is also the psychosomatic catalyst to gain this ascended form. Am I right? No... you may try to hide it, but your attempt just confirmed my suspicions."

"I have 72 hours to stop you," Itachi said, dashing at her, sword in hand, but right as he struck, Rin dissolved into the red and black sludge that made up the Tsukuyomi.

It was then that the illusion began to take on a life of its own: the formless ground began to transform into barren rock, the red and black sky turning into the bleak darkness of the underground.

Stone towers began to jut out of the landscape, bringing with it an assortment of lights that Itachi's bloodline-enhanced sight saw were blue orbs of flame trapped in cages...

"Oh," Rin said, but her voice gained an unnatural timbre, "you have nothing to worry about being judged. Your time is not yet here. Still, what did you say? Seventy-two hours here? You seem to have made a slight miscalculation, child."

"You didn't trap me in your jutsu with you... you trapped yourself in your jutsu... with me."

It was then that Itachi realized that Rin's hair had turned into a brilliant golden yellow, her eyes had turned into a deep red like the Sharingan, and she was now wearing a crown, a black and red cape, a black leotard, and a black stocking on her right leg.

He didn't need his fancy eyes to see the power emanating from the Hokage's granddaughter in waves, as well as within the spear of lightning she carried.

As the smile on her face promised Itachi a world of trouble, he braced himself for what was coming.

***

Back outside the real world, as soon as Itachi connected with the jutsu on the wrong target, he retched, stumbled, and dragged the other cloaked man away from him in the fastest shunshin he could ever do.

It made unofficial records for fastest and longest-distance shunshin, but that little fact would only come to light many years later.

And in Konoha, once Rin was hit full-force with the heretofore-unknown jutsu, she collapsed for a moment, and before the other ninja could get to her, she stood up and opened her now red-colored eyes.

"Well now! I seem to be in a brave new world," she announced, but before she could speak further and before the ninja noticed that she was floating above the ground, she closed her eyes... and sneezed.

As soon as that took place, she opened her eyes, which had now returned to their usual bright blue.

"That was pretty informative," Sarutobi Rin said with a savage grin, and all the jonin gathered around her figured it out -- her actions involving Uchiha Itachi were deliberate.

It wouldn't stop them from reporting to her grandfather about it, though.

***

Negotiations

***

Meanwhile, Jiraiya and Naruto had been beaten to the punch: the contingent from Sound had already made contact with their target.

***

"You're from Sound," the female member of the famous Sannin said as the two women nodded in the restaurant compartment they were in.

"That is so, madame," the little jonin said. "We come on behalf of our... benefactor. There were... a lot of incidents that led to us being here, and we need your help to... fix things."

"Not interested."

"Child, you are not persuasive enough," the other member of Sound said, before turning to Tsunade. "Let me be frank with you: as the foremost medic-nin of this generation, we need your help to stop the degeneration of an artificially-made body. I am sure you have heard of the term 'homunculus', have you not?"

Tsunade nodded warily.

"One of those texts that recorded matters from before the Sage of the Six Paths, yes," she answered. "What does that have to do with your request?"

"Our benefactor is one of these creatures of legend. Aid her, and we -- Otogakure -- will be heavily indebted to you."

"You sound like you would rather drag me and Shizune all the way there," Tsunade mused.

The Oto-nin laughed, peals of exotic wonder breathing out of her.

"Indeed," she answered, "All this negotiation and diplomacy... it goes against my very nature. But she is my master, and I am obliged to assist her in any way, shape, or form. Maybe you can do something about your wayward teammate, too, as he has found himself tangling with forces beyond his comprehension."

"Orochimaru?"

"His hubris is inimitable," the Oto-nin said, "to the point where he attempted apotheosis, and then... oh, it will be much better if you come and see, Senju Tsunade."

"I dropped the 'Senju' some time ago," the Sannin replied before taking a sip out of her own bowl of sake.

"It does not matter. What matters is that incident at Konoha. Your previous teacher is retiring, and is considering you as a replacement."

"Me?"

"It would benefit us greatly if you could help us before taking the Hokage's hat; the fact that an entire ninja village will owe you a debt of gratitude once you ascend to that position would be... extremely advantageous."

"Your offer is tempting... what did you say your name was, again?"

"For now, call me Ibuki. The child with me is Chiyo. You can find us easily when you have made your decision, but please make it quick. The girl's life depends on it."

Tsunade nodded, and then the two Oto-nin stood up, bowed, and left.

"You think they're lying, Shizune?" she asked, and her girl Friday shook her head.

"They seemed sincere. But what is that weird accessory Ibuki wore? Demon-horn forehead protectors were only popular during the time of warring clans, long before the hidden villages came about..."

"That's what troubles me, Shizune," Tsunade mused aloud. "Those weren't forehead protectors."

***

Some distance outside the restaurant, a young man was walking around when the two Oto-nin came up to him from both sides.

"You did well, minion," Ibuki announced. "Return to Sound and await further instructions."

"Are you really sure you won't need my help? I am, after all, a medic-nin on par with the Sannin."

Ibuki gave him an 'are you shitting me?' look, the kind that said 'I know what kind of slimeball you are, and if we didn't need all the manpower we could handle, I would have deboned you already for that shit you almost pulled in the chunin exams had we not leaked your plans to Konoha' in one glance -- combined with her impressive killing intent, the young man literally froze in his tracks.

"Yes... I will ensure our Lady is kept safe, Ibuki-sama. Chiyo-sama. I will take my leave of you now."

"Good."

The resulting shunshin sent him several kilometers away in his haste to get away from the frightening new leader of Otogakure.

***

What Comes After

***

Uchiha Sasuke was training when he heard the news.

His brother was driven away by the Hokage's granddaughter.

What... how?

"Penny for your thoughts," a familiar voice said, and Sasuke turned to see one of the teammates of the Hokage's granddaughter.

"Muramasa."

"That's right," Shirou replied, ignoring the casual way he was addressed. "Looks like the exams really helped you out a lot. You're a lot stronger now -- you think you can make it to chunin once we have a fifth Hokage?"

Sasuke nodded warily.

"Not if teams like you are around," he thought aloud, and instantly regretted saying those words.

Instead of taking offense, Shirou just chuckled.

"We're not taking any exam in Konoha or her allies: that was the order the Hokage gave us around the start of the exams, so you don't have to worry about that. But seriously, you think you have what it takes to be chunin?"

"Of course."

"All right, then why aren't you being a leader? Naruto's been telling stories about his genin team. Most of them are about you."

"They're dragging me down. I need more power... to defeat my brother."

Shirou chuckled again.

"You know what?" he asked, before looking off into the sky, his expression more like an old man reminiscing of his past than a genin like him.

Sasuke returned to his training when Shirou continued.

"Good luck with that. Just remember, sometimes a weakling nobody can defeat even the greatest of legends, all it takes is some imagination... some help from others... and a good sprinkling of luck."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked, surprised, but when he whirled around, the other genin was nowhere to be seen.

That was very odd, Sasuke thought.

***

"What do you mean, 'you're grounding Team 13'?" Rin asked.

Sakura sighed, Shirou facepalmed, and Iroha-sensei's face fell.

So much for "making progress".
 
Part 8
***

Catch-22

***

It was the night after Tsunade and her apprentice ran into her old teammate and the little runt of a genin he apparently brought along.

Anyone who was someone in Konoha knew of him. Blue eyes, blonde hair, whisker marks.

Jinchuriki.

Minato's brat.

But that wasn't what the Sannin was thinking about; that Sound-nin named Ibuki was right on the money with her information leak.

It was a very long time since she felt the pull of destiny, and it seems that throughout her wandering, it only returned, stronger than ever, nudging her to return to Konoha, confront her fears, and take her old sensei's hat.

And despite her misgivings, she found herself looking forward to it, even as she saw her reflection on the bowl of sake she was about to drink.

"All these years and I can still read you as easily, hime," Jiraiya began. "You want to come back to Konoha, don't you?"

"It's complicated," was all she could reply.

"What could be more complicated about coming back home?"

She sighed.

"I have no question that I will soon be returning to take the hat," she explained. "However, the part of me that pursues knowledge, there is still something I need to do, before I can come back. Plus... there's still the fears I have to overcome. All these years... and if our enemies find out that the Hokage is afraid of blood... well, that would be that."

"How much time do you need?"

"Couple days, give or take," the busty kunoichi sighed. "It would probably put my mind at ease if you and the brat came along with me, but that would just further complicate matters."

"Orochimaru," Jiraiya said, and Tsunade cut the curse that she was about to say short. "I have been getting the oddest of rumors from my network about Otogakure: before, during, and after the Chunin exams."

"What kind of rumors?"

"I can't even make heads or tails of them. Some say a nine-headed serpent now rules Oto, others say Oto is abandoned because of a monster, but they sent a genin team here. Sensors in Konoha said that the jonin was powerful enough to rival a Kage, but..."

"But what?"

"This 'Tengoku Chiyo' let Konoha know of an attempt to abduct Uchiha Sasuke for his eyes. There was no attempt, but some advanced medical formulae were copied: bloodline preservation."

"Did you determine who the spy was?"

"Still working on it."

Tsunade nodded.

"Also, there's this genin team Naruto keeps talking about, everyone was running scared thinking they'd be in the exams. You know of team 13?"

"We've met," Tsunade said. "One of their courier missions involved delivering a missive to me."

"What do you think?"

"Wouldn't you want to know?"

***

Chance Encounter

***

"Ah! Nee-san!" Naruto exclaimed as he saw the familiar-looking girl -- only this time, instead of wearing a jonin squad uniform of Sound, she was sporting a priestess' garb. "Remember me? Where are the genin accompanying you?"

"Oh," 'Chiyo' said as she stepped towards Naruto. "They are home, resting and training until our leader finishes her business here. What brings you to this gambling town?"

"Ero-sennin said he was looking for this beautiful lady. When he did, he just dumped me here and told me to pop this water balloon. Thought I'd be learning something cool, but this is all I've been doing, it's a bummer."

"Let me see," 'Chiyo' said as she picked up the water balloon. "It's just an ordinary water balloon. What did this 'Ero-sennin' tell you to do again?"

"Pop it," Naruto replied, "with nothing but my chakra. All I do is flatten it out."

"Maybe you need to go about it in a different way?" she asked, and then looked away. "Leader-sama needs me. I shall be going. Thank you for the time, Naruto."

"See you later, Chiyo-neesan!" Naruto said, and as he turned to go, he saw a cat playing with one of the water balloons that fell down...

***

Continuity

***

Later that night, Jiraiya was walking home from another drunken bender when he saw the Oto-nin on a rooftop.

"Ah... the gallant Jiraiya. Just the man we've been looking for," Ibuki announced, Chiyo hanging by her master's side, even as they leaped down. "We come in peace, Toad Sage."

He quirked an eyebrow at the formal way of addressing him, as well as the rather... musical accent the leader of Oto had.

"Hard to come in peace if you're leaking killing intent," he thought aloud, and Ibuki just laughed.

"Forget that. I am strictly here on business, as I am in need of a seal master. Your... friend is in a dire predicament, and your knowledge might be able to spare him from a fate worse than death."

"Orochimaru?"

"One and the same. As a peace offering, this is what was left of the usurper's tongue, right before he tried to become That Which Should Not Be (tm). You can make more sense of it than I do."

She flings a pale and fleshy forked thing at the Toad Sage, who catches it and gasps as soon as he sees the three lines in the back of the tongue, parts of it already unraveled by what was undoubtedly whatever Orochimaru did.

"Dammit," was all Jiraiya could say. "Damn you, Orochimaru... making your bed with that bastard...!"

"Where is he now?" he asked Ibuki.

"Still in one of Otogakure's bases. He is insensate from the brew that came with me when I arrived -- but I do not know how long that will take. Should you wish to save your friend, you can come with me. Bring the little one with you, you can train him along the way."

"You know about Naruto?"

"Your apprentice? All of us in Otogakure are bound to stay our hand against the Leaf. Orders coming from one greater than myself -- but we must hurry. You can bring your fifth Hokage home once you have saved your teammate gone astray. Besides... should you assist him, he will definitely help you in return, shed some light on those black cloaks, red clouds..."

Jiraiya's expression darkened.

"For someone not from Konoha, you know too much about its affairs."

"Of course," Ibuki replied with a chuckle. "I am contractually bound to keep someone in it safe, after all. Now, shall we be going?"

***

Around three weeks later, it was an exhausted, disturbed, but ultimately triumphant foursome of Konoha-nin that marched through the gates, announcing the arrival of the Fifth Hokage, Senju Tsunade.

What happened within those three weeks had brought the inner fire back in the new Hokage, her apprentice, her spymaster, and the runt that somehow wormed his way into her heart.

***

"...and these are the list of applicants to chunin in the last exams. Notice anything missing, hime?"

"Team 13 isn't here."

"They opted not to take it."

"Why not?"

"Because the next chunin exams are in Kumogakure."

With all the paperwork piled up about the antics Hyuuga Iroha and his genin were up to, it would take a long night of reading incident reports and performance reviews for two of the three legendary Sannin.

And the very next morning, the four of them were arrayed before the Hokage.

"Sensei and Jiraiya already briefed me about what happened. Tell me, why should I return your team to active duty?"

Instead of Sarutobi, it was Muramasa who spoke up.

"We know that the reason you're pulling teams 7 through 12 from the exams is because they're in Kumo," he said plainly. "It's also the reason why we sat out these exams. Our team has a penchant for collateral damage, and now that we're growing stronger..."

"Go on."

"...You want us to paint the town red."

"Exactly. Sensei wouldn't tolerate your antics because you are family, Sarutobi, and now that he's stepped down, I can return you to the fold. I'm vetoing any other genin team's application to take the exams in Kumo, to give the three of you carte blanche to raise hell there, and make the Raikage's pecs start drooping from PTSD. Am I understood?"

Shirou, Rin, and Sakura answered as one.

"Understood, Hokage-sama!"

"Now go out there and show those bloodline thieves the business. I want you to leave that place wearing vests, and Kumogakure with egg on its face."

They nodded.

"Dismissed."

***

"Senpai."

"Ah, Hinata. Are you here to see me off?"

"Yes. I have one request."

"If it's within reason, I don't see why not."

She whispered the request.

"...You should probably ask Kurama Sakura that," Rin finally admitted.

***

The Chunin Exams that were held in "The Crater Formerly Known as Kumogakure" became most known as the one where Konoha paid Kumo back with interest for the Hyuuga incident, and was the first of many humiliations the Hidden Village would endure at the hands of what was now known as the Lucky Thirteens.
 
Part 9
A/N: This snippet answers even more questions, and details the aftermath of the so-called "noodle incidents" in Kumo and Oto. And yes, I gave Matatabi the personality and quirks of Sweet Shalquoir from Dark Souls 2, what of it?

***

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

***

"Wait, you think that if I'd show you how awesome the jutsu Ero-sennin taught me was, you would freak out?" Naruto asked. "That's not how it works! We both have awesome techniques so we should test it out, and plan our strategies around them. Didn't you get why Baachan didn't give you the vest?"

"I know," Sasuke replied. "And I'm not going to freak out. It just bugs me, that's all. How'd you get such a technique in just one trip outside town? Took me the good part of a month to learn this."

"Well," Naruto replied, thinking. "Maybe it's because you can do more with it than I can do with mine?"

Sakura chuffed.

"Boys will be boys, always comparing their jutsu..."

They turned to Sakura and grinned.

"Say, why don't YOU have a game-changing jutsu, Sakura?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, it wouldn't do for only two-thirds of Team 7 to have something like that in their arsenal," Sasuke added.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"You'll go this way and I go that way?"

"Operation 'Give Sakura a powerful jutsu' is now live!"

***

Oof Size: Large

***

Elsewhere, a muscular man was dragging his genin behind him, all the while having a loud discussion-slash-argument in his head.

"Look, I'm sorry already, Gyuki. Can you at least stop moping? It wasn't only you that got leveled, man."

Easy for you to say. These aren't ordinary genin. Heck, they aren't even ordinary ninja. I wouldn't be surprised if they were holdovers from the time of the Moon.

"What are you getting at, partner?"

What I am saying, Bee, is that when you foolishly agreed to that Sarutobi girl's suggestion to make the exam finals a four-on-four, the game was already rigged, and you already lost. Kumo would have still been standing had you chosen discretion, tucked your head between your legs and kissed your ass goodbye.

"That bad?"

Worse. I don't think that's the full extent of their powers. I mean, listen. Shinobi have always relied upon chakra for their techniques, right? Now imagine someone who can impose their will on reality with only minimal or no chakra expenditure.

"Inconceivable."

You keep using that word, I do not think you mean... anyway, yes. What you're seeing is what's called an 'outside context problem'. For the moment, bring your genin and head to the rendezvous point. Your brother will not like it if you are late. In the meantime... I am going to continue moping and sulking in a corner.

"Again, it wasn't just you who got grabbed by a giant genin and turned into a child's toy, Gyuki... wait a minute. Oh man. Oh God. Didn't you say you and your other siblings have some sort of connection?"

All seven of them are now laughing at me. Especially the eldest. He says I shouldn't have picked a fight with them... smug fucking fox, that look on his eyes makes me think he knows something I don't! Now leave me alone for now.

"Okay, but we're going to have to talk about it eventually, Gyuki."

Fine by me.

***

Waking Up

***

"What happened?"

"You should know by now that mortals should not tread into the realm of the gods," the little girl told the awakening ninja. "Especially not in an age where they have just passed a few generations ago."

"The Sage is..."

"A reality that existed several centuries ago, I know. And worry not, your... 'village' has been doing its duties in your absence. The consequences of your actions have brought forth their solutions, after all. Even then, you are still in no shape to lead this place. Rest and recuperate."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

The girl laughed daintily.

"If you cannot trust me, then at least trust your old teammates. They have lifted mountains to bring you back from your folly... Orochimaru. After all, the body you crafted to your specifications is now mine, and mine alone. I consider that a fair trade for having helped you."

"And the village?"

"In capable hands."

"Kabuto?"

"Oh, him? I have him chasing secrets and leads on the group you were once a part of. Also, they already know that 'Oto' is nothing more than a Konoha-made false flag designed for heavy OPFOR exercises. After all, I gave your teammates your tongue."

Yellow eyes widened as Orochimaru quickly realized how deep in trouble he was.

"Oh, relax." Red eyes twinkled in mirth as it met yellow ones. "If they didn't know it was an elaborate OPFOR, they wouldn't have bothered to pull your scaly behind out of the fire. Unfortunately, you still have to deal with the consequences of your actions."

"Which are?"

"Well, for starters, this is still your ninja village, but you're relegated to administrative duty for now. Ibuki and I will do the active leading."

"You've given me much, and you still haven't told me your name."

"Oh, have I not? I was so sure you would be able to recognize me. After all, our myths are somewhat intertwined... for now, call me Sitonai."

Orochimaru swallowed a lump in his throat that wasn't there a moment ago as he finally realized why the girl in front of him was wearing tribal finery.

***

"I can't believe we've been put on babysitting duty."

"What do you mean? The 'baby' we're sitting is the jonin in charge of this operation. Not to mention she can crush you to death with one giant flaming hand if you piss her off. Child or not, I don't want to become spider-on-a-stick, you feel me?"

"I feel you, but why in the Sage's name are we headed to Iwa for some, and I quote, 'industrial theft'?"

"It's supposed to be a test of our abilities, though why we're sent to steal Iwa's famous motherfucking dango recipe, I have no fucking clue..."

"We're doing the equivalent of an A-rank for -- how the heck do you even pronounce this?"

"It's 'macarons'."

"How the heck do you know that, Jirobo?"

"I grew up in a Stone Country orphanage, remember?"

"Pipe down! We're reaching the contact point. Remember, if you fuck this up... man, I don't want to remember how leader-sama fucked up that scientist!"

***

Oof Size: Extra Large

***

You don't look that well.

"Can't believe it, all those swords, I'm still alive... wait, you're finally talking to me?"

I'd like to think that it was due to your near-death experience, even with my help, that built a better bridge between us. The name is Matatabi -- enchanté. I say, that whole debacle made you smell so much better to me. Nothing like the scent of hitting rock bottom, especially with my host...

She could hear the cat's dainty laughter.

"Do you even know what happened? That guy shot swords! From a bow! And they explode!"

I know, I saw everything, right? Even through our chakra cloak, they pierced through. Aren't you curious, little one? About how this swordsman managed to pull it off?

"No, and I don't want to! Konoha's full of monsters if they can take me out just like that!"

Well, you don't want to know what happened to Gyuki's host, then. It makes your fate look... trivial.

The cat laughed again.

"Well... I guess this just shows how far I still have to go."

Indeed. You and Gyuki's host have very far to go, if you don't want the next time to meet to end up like this one. Besides, he seems more like a bowman than a bladesman, if you know what I mean.

"I've grown too dependent on you, Matatabi. I swear, this won't happen again."

I know you won't.

The cat's fading laughter echoed within Yugito's mind as the conversation came to an end.

***

"Hola to everyone in the Land of Hot Water! Welcome to another episode of..."

BB CHANNEL!!!

"I'm your host... the lovely and enigmatic... Black Blossom! And our guest for this evening is.. oh my, are you some sort of cultist?"

"Damn straight! Name's Hidan, and I got on this show to promote the power of Jashin!"

"Cool! So cool! Public advisory, guys! So you're here on behalf of your underground club huh?"

"Exactly! Violence and bloodshed is the name of Jashin's game. That's why I put together this club to keep this place's edge sharp!"

"So, let's start with you, Mr. Hidan. How'd you get to become a ninja of Yugakure?"

"Oh, that's a long story, Double-B!"

"I like how that sounds! Double-B!"

"Anyway, I grew up here, and entered their Ninja Academy..."

***
 
Part 10
***

Welcome to the Jungle

***

"You need WHAT?"

Sarutobi Rin smiled when she saw the reaction to her proposition.

"I need a chakra sample from a jinchuriki."

The Fifth Hokage wiped her head in exasperation.

"Okay, I have not had enough sake to have a conversation like this at this time of day. Now, we have given you and your teammates a rather wide berth due to your bloodline and your accomplishments, so I have to ask... why?"

"Hokage-sama, if I told you the reason, you wouldn't believe me. But the theory is sound, the mythological basis is accurate, and all I need is a chakra sample to confirm what I've feared the most: we are all dead men walking."

She took a deep breath.

"What kind of threat are we speaking of?"

The smile vanished from the genin's face.

"The kind that could lead to the end of the world as we know it. Or worse, our permanent erasure from the universe."

"What kind of power would cause that sort of thing to happen?"

"Something entire orders of magnitude stronger than the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox," Rin answered. "And I've felt its chakra before. It's just a formality; I just need that sample to dot my i's and cross my t's properly. We are standing on the precipice of the end, Hokage-sama. Whether the world ends in five, ten, or twenty years, it will come to an end all the same."

"And you've begun devising countermeasures against them?"

Rin nodded.

"Not me, but with what we've deciphered from Orochimaru's research, it appears the Akatsuki has already begun their own moves as well."

The negotiation continued through the day, as Sarutobi Rin debriefed the Hokage about what they had found out.

***

"What little I know about Amegakure is that their leader Hanzo was defeated recently," Jiraiya explained. "All my informants tell me is that Akatsuki operates out of it, and that those rogue ninja are agents of who they call 'megami-sama'. Several members have likewise vanished; the group is shoring up its ranks in a hurry. A lot of powerful missing-nin are being recruited as we speak."

"Megami-sama... are you saying Amegakure is under the leadership of a goddess?"

"That's what my informants say. Those who aren't under her sway are given assignments away from the village; the rest of them are under virtual lockdown."

Muramasa Shirou was deep in thought, recalling the time they acquired some of Orochimaru's notes as part of their mission to Oto...

***

"What's wrong, Shirou?"

His shoulders slumped.

"I can't summon her."

"That's impossible," Sakura said. "Out of all of us, you have the best compatibility with her, so if you can't summon her even after multiple attempts, that only means..."

Shirou nodded grimly.

"Someone else already summoned her. We need to get ready."

***

"So that's why..."

"Yes, that's why the attack never happened. I called it off. Is there a problem about what I just did, onii-chan?"

Rin sighed.

"He's not related to you here, you know."

"Old habits die hard," the leader of Oto said. "Besides, don't think I haven't noticed the two of you holding onto him tighter as soon as I called him that."

The tension in the room began to ratchet upward slowly until it just died down upon Sitonai's sigh.

"Even then, I'm not here to contribute to your little romantic comedy -- running a ninja village is hard work, running a ninja village even with the threat of Pruning imminent is exhausting."

"What did you say -- "

"Are you saying what I thought you just s--"

Sitonai giggled, the kind one made when they knew something other people didn't.

"Here," she said, handing over a manila folder to the three of them. "And unlike last time, don't take too long to summon your Servant... or Servants, onii-chan. You two as well -- I've already heard rumors of stray Servants here and there thanks to that useful glasses wearing errand boy of mine."

"That should be everything you need, and then some. Orochimaru was doing his own digging, which was why they brought in the kin-slayer to throw him out of their team. Also... tell Jiraiya and Tsunade their old teammate is recovering well."

"Thanks, Illya," Shirou said, and Sitonai just laughed.

"My name here is 'Sitonai'," she said as she bid the three genin farewell.

***

"Ah, you must be the applicant," the cloaked ninja said. "The leader will see you now."

"About fuckin' time," the applicant replied, hefting his scythe as he entered the office, and as soon as he did, he felt a similar power pass through him, deeming him as not a threat.

A man with red hair was at the table.

"So I hear you are, and I quote, 'taking your talents to Akatsuki'?" the man asked. "Pardon our... spartan accommodations, as we have just gone through some... recent corporate reorganization. Even then, membership for the Akatsuki requires one thing and one thing only. Can we see the proof of your application?"

"Thought you'd never ask," the man said, grinning as two B's emerged from the back of his left hand. "You don't have to worry about having this fine babe stolen from me."

In a flash of light, a woman in a black dress emerged from behind the applicant.

"How many times have I asked you not to call me 'babe'? It's impolite and demeaning, Master."

"Sorry, Double-B. This place just gives me the heebie-jeebies."

"I know, this guy has the power of a Servant even without having one contracted! Anyway, call me if you need me."

She vanished, and the man with red hair nodded his approval.

"It seems you have passed the preliminary test. Proceed to the next office for testing, you and your Servant."

"...is that it? All right," the applicant said, before moving to the next room.

"It's not enough," he said as a woman materialized out of paper sheets beside him. "We're not getting any stronger. We need a game-changer, something we need to keep apocalypse from happening. Why have our applicants gone down in number?"

"Well," the woman replied, "it seems our... special requirements have spread. Strong missing-nin simply say no, because they do not have the requirements we seek."

"A shame. We just need one or two more Masters, and we can thus begin the work."

***

[laughter intensifes]

***

"All right, why have you blown up another training ground again, Team 13? And who are those people with you?"

"Shinsengumi, first division captain, Okita Souji, reporting for duty, ma'am!" the pink-haired swordswoman said, saluting smartly at the Hokage.

"Quit laughing!" Rin said as she elbowed the dark-skinned man in the side. "The Hokage is asking you to identify yourself."

He stood tall, unfurled his arms, and made a declaration.

"MY NAME IS OZYMANDIAS, KING OF KINGS! LOOK UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY... AND DESPAIR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Once everything had stopped moving, the unfazed Hokage motioned over to Sakura, where the short girl wearing black and red was examining the Hokage's office with curiosity... only to laugh just as loudly as the previous man when she made herself known.

"HAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE DEMON KING OF THE SEVENTH HEAVEN, ODA NOBUNAGA! So... you are my Master's Master? Very well, we entrust our lifestyle and karma to you, Jokage..."

"It's Hokage-sama!" Sakura whispered.

"...Hokage-sama, my apologies if I mispronounced anything!"

"Apology accepted. So what brings these three oddballs to my office, Iroha-kun?"

"Well, they said it was supposed to be an experiment, but it went awry..."

Tsunade sighed.

"I guess waiting until the next exam to give you your vests was a good idea, that way I can get you to clean up the mess you just made... again. Get the D-rank outside my office, I've already been briefed by Jiraiya about what's going on."

As soon as the echoes of that obnoxious laughing pair subsided, the Fifth Hokage reached for her drawer for a bottle of sake.

"Can't believe the fate of the world is in the hands of a sick girl and two weirdos," she muttered as she took that much-needed sip of sake before she could continue on her day.

***

Note: Yes, this came about due to me finishing Lostbelt 1 on NA and reading rumors about Naruto's death in the manga sequel (as if I'd let that happen here HAHAHAHAHAHA) Also yes, Sakura has Avenger Nobu as her Servant, which means she has to deal with Nobu, Kippoushi, and STEP ON ME MOMMY NOBU
 
Part 11
***

Come On, Let's Twist Again...

***

"So the three of you (and a couple of others) are the only ones in this world who know our legend?" Okita asked.

"Basically, yes," Shirou replied. "Since the three of us have experience at being Masters, we have a pretty good idea where to place you guys for maximum effect while hiding in plain sight. For example, you and I could start up training a couple kenjutsu specialists. Tohsaka... Konoha is going through a couple of urban renewal projects, and having Rider at the helm will surely speed things along. And Sakura... she's now working on how to make Avenger's firearms doctrine feasible with ninja."

"Based on the briefing we sat through, isn't there a territory that is fairly technologically advanced? You guys can take Nobu there, right?"

"Well, we don't have any missions that require going to the Land of Snow..."

It was at that moment when Kurama Sakura walked in.

"Senpai, we got a mission! Fujikaze Yukie needs bodyguards for a film in the Land of Snow!"

"Don't worry about me, Master. Rider's Master made an array that allows us free movement within the Village. You and Nobu go. Just be sure to bring me a souvenir, okay? I'll be training the other sword specialists while you're gone."

***

...Like We Did Last Summer

***

Thanks to the popularity of the actress and her entourage, they were able to travel quickly through the Land of Fire and set sail towards their destination.

However, all through the journey, Fujikaze-san seemed afraid, resigned, anxious... and the ninja assigned as her bodyguards easily caught on.

They were asked by the manager and director to stick to their jobs -- their reputations had somehow already spread abroad, causing the journey to be surprisingly trouble-free.

***

"You don't think they haven't already known who you really are, Princess?" Avenger asked, her place as the actress' bodyguard of last resort requiring her to be in close proximity with the young woman most of the time. "I get why you would think so, but our village is renowned for a reason, you know."

"Avenger... Avenger... what kind of pseudonym is that? Someone with your looks could easily be spotted from a distance, especially where we're going."

Avenger laughed.

"Don't worry about that! It's inevitable that we run into trouble, which is why we are already planning for it. Besides, it's not a fake name, it's a designation. I am a walking paradox, the full potential of my name and my fearsome reputation, all combined into one... but if you're really, really that insistent, I suppose you can just call me Nobu."

"Okay, Nobu-san," the actress replied. "Still, why haven't your ninja said anything yet?"

"Again, don't worry too much about it. They know about it, but they're confident that you'll divulge the information eventually, what with it being very critical to this mission, eh?" The actress' shoulders dropped in resignation, and that only caused Nobu to chuckle. "Like I said, if you already know what's coming, you should be able to work around it! Inevitability is its own sense of freedom, I say. That, and guns. LOTS of guns."

Nobu's grin was manic when she mentioned the magic word.

"Anyway, with me around (and of course, a lot of guns), any idiot would have to have a death wish to try and kidnap you..."

That was when the alarm bell rang.

"Well, looks like it's showtime. Let's go to Master, she'll cover you while I show YOU why even gods and buddhas kneel to this bad boy."

What looked like a crank-operated firearm crossed with a sword appeared in the girl's arms, and she laughed.

"Let's go!"

***

I like sharp things.

***

"Nice to see you here! Bunch of ANBU with masks, a jonin with a grudge and his genin, several specialists... Great! More folks than the last time. Okay, I'm not used to training others -- that's Mr. Hijikata's specialty, not mine -- but I've got enough insight to give you some tips and enough skill to spar against you and find out what tips you need to be swinging your swords to their best potential!"

Souji Okita, Servant Saber, looked every bit like a Konoha ninja in her own uniform, complete with forehead protector, and stood proudly as she beckoned to the youngest one in the bunch.

"You there! The mopey one!" she called. "Haven't seen you here before -- are you considering a sword specialization?"

The dark-haired genin stepped forward and procured a sheathed chokuto.

"Well! Haven't seen one of those in a long while. I'm partial to the curve of the katana myself, helps out a lot with slashing, not too bad with thrusting, but a straight-edge like that is a hundred percent thrusting weapon. May I?"

When the weapon was offered to her, she unsheathed it and took up a stance.

"The standard fighting protocols for a weapon like this is to find weak and fleshy bits in the enemy and jam the pointed end in them! A stab wound is lethal at two inches, which is why you must never underestimate any long, sharp and pointy object's killing potential!"

She took a few practice swings and thrusts, resheathed the chokuto and returned it to its owner.

"I smell electricity from the weapon. Yeah, that would do an awful lot to make this simple weapon a lot more complex in its implementation. Imagine something that you can use to fry your opponent even when blades make contact! Scattering caltrops to remove the grounding effect of ninja sandals, usage of water jutsu, even something simple as that mist making technique, will turn the potency electric attacks up several notches! Are you using that sword as a means to dispense your electrical attacks, er..."

"Sasuke."

"...Sasuke-kun? Because that is a very good way of using that chokuto, though it wouldn't hurt for you to learn a few advanced moves for that blade. I exaggerated a bit when I said it's more a thrusting weapon than a slashing weapon, but you CAN use that tempered weapon for slash and thrust attacks, more so with jutsu involved. So!"

She took out a bokken.

"Let's show off what we know, and help each other out get good! No better time to start than now!"

***

So Close, Yet So Far

***

"I honestly don't get this arrangement," the serpentine ninja Orochimaru said as he was being led through rehabilitation exercises to regain the use of his chakra. "You've said a lot of things, and made a lot of revelations, but I still can't piece the puzzle together."

Sitonai smiled as she was watching him go through the movements.

"YOU are actually the key we need. It's one of your forbidden techniques that we can use to avert the bad future I've foreseen."

"And how would you know that?"

"Vessel of goddesses, remember? Your world of ninja don't worship them, but within a vessel, they still retain their abilities. Besides, I know you don't want to save the world -- the puzzle in front of you is what's more important, am I right?"

He gave her a grudging nod.

"Great! Now that we know where we're standing, you need to get better soon. Because of our presence, everything will go to shit a lot faster than when we weren't around."

"And Konoha?"

Sitonai just batted her hand away.

"Ultimately irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. This world is on the brink of destruction by forces that make your tailed beasts look like harmless puppy dogs... which reminds me, I forgot to have a little chat with the fox sealed in that boy. I wonder what kind of dog and pony show we have to cook up to get him here, especially now that the Akatsuki revealing themselves have beefed up village security..."

"What are you getting at, thinking aloud like that?"

"...if you must know, the board is already being set, but one of the players has been here for much longer than me. I have the advantage, though: he doesn't know I already know the game he's playing, and I can rig the board under his nose. Don't worry about a thing, Orochimaru. Just carry on as usual -- I've already considered every possibility, and you are going to help save this world, no matter what you end up doing."

"That's a bit harsh."

"I forgot, ninja don't like predestination... but yeah, this puzzle is still something you have to solve. Don't forget, you are a key piece to this tapestry."

The Alter-Ego gave Orochimaru another infuriatingly enigmatic smile before walking away, her gigantic polar bear summon in tow.

***

The Nose Knows

***

"Saber, Rider and Avenger are in Konoha, we don't need them for a simple diplomatic meeting," Iroha-sensei said before Team Lucky Thirteen entered the restaurant where their contact was supposed to be waiting. "This is part of the exchange of information to inaugurate Konoha's Medic-nin Program, so be on your best behavior."

The old man walked out, a cane supporting his weight, and shuffled into the seat where Shirou and the others were waiting.

That was when Rin's nose began to itch horribly.

"Of all the time to..." was all she whispered before she sneezed.

And then her hair started to levitate slightly, her blue eyes now a brilliant red as she gave the old man a probing look, and smirked, finding him wanting.

It was just a moment, and time seemed to slow down, but when Rin blinked, her eyes were back to their usual blue, it was like a mere moment just passed by.

"Wonder what that was about..." she muttered, "anyway, this should be the start of a good relationship between our respective medical programs, wouldn't you say, sir?"

"That's right. The more this information spreads, the more lives we can save."

"I can toast to that."

The rest of the exchange went without a hitch, but it was only when they were en route back to Konoha that Rin finally broke her silence.

"You smelled him, didn't you?" she asked; Shirou and Sakura nodded.

"What do you mean?" their sensei asked.

"It's about the thing (tm) I went to the Hokage for," Rin said. "I still don't have enough proof to get her to act, but I know now that the Age of the Gods in this world isn't completely ended; worse, there are those who are trying to bring it back."

"Age of the Gods? Are you speaking of the time before the Sage of Six Paths?"

Rin nodded.

"That man we spoke to? Made one of my trump cards pop out for a moment, confirmed all my suspicions. We need to go to Illya and tell her that we've found one of her targets."

"Who is this Illya person?"

"The true leader of Otogakure," Shirou said. "Also the vessel of several powerful goddesses."

Hyuuga Iroha once more had the sinking feeling that he was getting into something that would be very troublesome to get out of.

***

It was at Tanzaku Gai that Team Thirteen met up with Jiraiya.

"Illya wants a chat with Naruto," Rin began. "Naruto AND what he's holding."

"I've already warned the brat about Akatsuki."

"Akatsuki's small fry; another one of Councilman Shimura's skeletons in the closet come out to dance," Rin said dismissively. "A wannabe Hokage lashing out in a half-decade long temper tantrum over not being picked for the hat is inconsequential compared to what we're up against."

"What have you been talking with the Hokage about? She seems to be in full disaster readiness mode as of late."

"Well," the Hokage's granddaughter replied, "she would, if it was about the end of the world as we know it. Also magical alien beings."

"Aliens?" Jiraiya asked, bewildered.

"I'm not saying it was aliens," Rin retorted, "but it was aliens."

***

A/N: this snippet is brought to you by giorgio tsoukalos and chapter 55 of boruto
 
Part 12
***

It's Called "Art"

***

"Did you know that I figured out Kumogakure's biggest secret after I pieced together the circumstances of the attempt on the Hyuuga and their constant raids against Nadeshiko and other smaller villages?" Sarutobi Rin asked, as Team Lucky Thirteens were doing some downtime with their interim sensei Jiraiya (as their actual jonin-sensei was called upon for clan business for a month or two, possibly some training so he doesn't get completely overshadowed by his students). "You should know, as Kumo is the biggest exporter and distributor of smut across the Elemental Countries."

"Yes, and what you did to them in the Chunin Exams was but surface damage."

"That's true," Muramasa replied. "But that wasn't about damaging Kumo, it was about making a statement. Besides, Kumo's economical base didn't really take a hit after the Exams. Speaking of which, Jiraiya-sama, how goes the search for a new illustrator?"

His face fell.

"Poorly."

"Our apologies, sir," Sakura said. "If we knew doing that would cause you to delay publishing your next novel..."

"It's fine," the Toad Sage interrupted, waving off the apology of the three ninja. "I'll just have to be more... discreet when looking for commissions."

"Well, sir, if it's any consolation, we'll keep an eye out for you, as well. Illya also sends word that she's combing Oto for potential artists and illustrators, as a gesture of good will."

"She'd do that?"

"We know each other, you and Orochimaru know each other, it seems pretty cut-and-dried to us," Rin replied. "But onto more important things: how can we organize the meeting requested?"

"Ah, now THAT is how I can assist the three of you. I've gotten clearance from the Hokage to take my apprentice onto a training trip. We can make a pit stop at neutral ground so this... Illya person can do what she promised she'd do. Still, I find it odd: why would she make such a sweeping rule for Oto to stay their hand against Konoha?"

The three of them answered in chorus.

"Long story."

"Oh, and you would not believe the reason why Kumo distributes smut: they need it."

"How so?"

"Well, their lightning-based techniques play merry hell with bloodline inheritance. Remember how buff the Raikage is?"

"I don't get where you're going with this, Tohsaka, but yes. What of it?"

"The lightning-based techniques of Kumo generate a lot of anabolic steroids within its users body to keep it from being lethally fried by lightning chakra... and you know what the side effects of constant steroid usage are, right?"

Sarutobi Rin lifted up a hand in the shape of an L... and savagely brought down her index finger so that it was two to three centimeters away from her thumb.

Jiraiya and Sakura did a perfect simultaneous spit-take at that, and Rin gave the grin of the triumphant.

Just another bit of information she would sit on, just in case Kumo decided to get uppity again.

Meanwhile, their Servants were working their day jobs to stay out of the limelight as much as possible, and Konoha was running her information network as much as possible to track down any of what Team Thirteen called "stray Servants".

Little did they know that someone like that would be at their front door soon...

***

Fluke

***

The girl ran, and ran, and ran, her pursuers hot on her trail.

She had to get to a ninja village quickly!

The dragon would be awakened if she failed her mission!

Unfortunately, she ran into an ambush, and she ended up surrounded by missing-nin.

They turned predatory eyes upon her, brandishing their weapons, and the girl tried to raise the sword to defend herself...

...but it was futile. A shuriken bounced off her sword, cutting a shallow groove along her cheek, and when a drop of her blood hit the ground...

Night became day for a few moments, as an ancient pattern came alive.

When the light subsided, the girl wasn't alone.

"I... no... I am..."

A girl even smaller than her now stood between her and the enemy ninja.

"...I will introduce myself to you later, Master. This will take a moment."

The blades on her elbows swung outward, and right as the enemy ninja moved in, she counterattacked.

And in a trice, all the enemies lay defeated at the little girl's feet, her expression unreadable as there was a mask covering her face, the same material as her armor.

"I have arrived by your summons... you don't look like you know me. Very well, we shall slowly get to know each other."

"...Akari."

"Come again?"

"My name is Akari."

She saw a smile under the helmet the armored little girl was wearing.

"Nice to meet you. Call me Lancelot."

***

Destined

***

The agreed-upon meeting place was at Tanzaku-gai, and Team 13 volunteered to escort Jiraiya and Naruto there, before they made for parts unknown to further the young genin's training.

Right on time, the five of them arrived at the restaurant, only to see that their table was already occupied by two familiar figures, and a third one.

"I see you've brought Ibuki and Chiyo with you," Jiraiya said after greetings were made. "Well, I brought the brat here. What do you need done?"

"Well, we can talk shop over lunch," Illyasviel von Einzbern replied. "I can sense the Beast's power lurking in the boy. It's curious about us, very good. If any, we should have a lot of interesting things to be talking about throughout the meal, wouldn't you agree?"

Jiraiya warily nodded, but he turned to see Naruto already talking about how he had been doing with his Chiyo-neesan.

Man, didn't know the brat was this smooth.

He turned back to Illyasviel, who was also wearing an inscrutable smile on her face.

***

"Hello!" the Alter Ego said as soon as she entered the seal chamber.

"YOU ARE ONE OF THEM."

"That's right! I carry the authority of goddesses, and knowledge of the ancients... but just call me Sitonai. Do you know why I sought you out, Nine-Tailed Fox?"

"I HAVE MY GUESSES, AND NONE OF THEM GOOD."

"Then you know about what's coming."

"THIS BRAT IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH YET."

Sitonai shook her head.

"It's not about being strong. It's about being able to work together. Two of your siblings thought they were the greatest thing since sliced bread, and three genin put them both away. What does that say about you?"

The Nine-Tails snorted.

"GYUKI AND MATATABI HAVE ALWAYS NEEDED TO GET KNOCKED DOWN A PEG OR SEVERAL TO LISTEN. FOR THAT, I THANK YOU AND YOUR... ALLIES. BECAUSE OF YOU, THE NINE OF US HAVE NOW BEEN MORE VIGILANT, WORKING TO ADDRESS THE THREAT YOU AND YOUR ILK POSSESS."

Sitonai shrugged.

"We might be threats now, but there are always worse things on the horizon. Things from the deep and dark past, beyond the stars... they are coming. The way I see this is that we either work together, or get picked off one by one. So what about it, do you want to help? I just need to be able to 'tune in' and communicate with the nine of you, after all."

"I CANNOT GUARANTEE ANYTHING, BUT I WILL CONTACT MY BRETHREN. BE WARNED, THOUGH. GYUKI AND MATATABI WILL BE THE HARDEST ONES TO CONVINCE, AS I HAD CONCEALED MY KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR THREE... INCARNATIONS... FOR MY OWN... AMUSEMENT... TO SEE THEM PUT THROUGH THE WRINGER."

"That's all I'm asking for, Nine-Tails. Thank you."

"IF WE ARE TO PROCEED WITH THIS ARRANGEMENT, ADDRESS ME BY MY PROPER NAME."

"Will do, Kurama. Take care of yourself and your host."

"INDEED."

***

"So... did you get what you were looking for?" Shirou asked Illya when her eyes opened back up.

"Yeah," the Alter Ego replied. "We're all good over here. Found a chakra source I can use, ensuring I can keep in contact with the Tailed Beasts whenever I need to."

"Why would you need something like that?" Jiraiya asked, confused.

Rin and Illya replied as one.

"Aliens."

That word again.

***

Serendipitous

***

Jiraiya's "training trip" around the world served multiple functions: train the brat to survive an attempt to steal his Tailed Beast, check up on his spy network, conduct surveillance regarding "stray Servants" or whatever Team Thirteen told them to do, catch up on writing his Icha Icha sequel... and most importantly, find an illustrator, since the Kumo debacle had him under an unofficial blacklist.

He and Naruto were at Tanzaku-Gai, their final stop before their return to Konoha, and Jiraiya was still unable to find an artist to work with.

Man, Kumo is still really, really, REALLY butthurt about that Chunin Exam, even after a couple years have passed.

He sent Naruto away to run some chores and do some scouting, so he could do some last-minute writing on his Icha Icha sequel; the publisher was already getting antsy and needed an illustrator, otherwise the next chapter of his magnum opus would wither on the vine...

...as if Naruto gave a shit about that, the genin always thought "Legend of the Gutsy Ninja" was Jiraiya's masterpiece, and not that work of utter degeneracy, even after doing some pro bono beta-reading, proofreading, and brainstorming for him.

However, Naruto barged in ahead of schedule, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Ero-sennin, Ero-sennin! I think I may have found a solution to your art problem!" he declared as he entered the hotel room.

"Yeah, yeah, what is it, brat?" Jiraiya asked as he dragged himself up wearily.

"There's an artist doing street commissions outside! Never seen her in Tanzaku-Gai before, maybe she can help you out!"

The Toad Sage sighed, and put his writing away.

Maybe this is worth a look.

A few minutes later, he saw the woman: putting paint on a canvas stretched across a large empty lot.

Blues and grays were smeared onto the large square with masterful strokes from the woman's overly large brush as she made what looked like a scene of a mountain, and the Toad Sage's thoughts of danger upon seeing the weird-looking octopus hovering behind her was overcome with gratitude that the fates had finally found an artist for him to get the next Icha Icha published.

***

Of course, things never go the way you think, and Jiraiya found that out firsthand when he woke up to see a stylized nude in red lines on the back of his hand.

***

A/N: I should probably make a "the Raikage has a micropenis" tag here somewhere
 
Part 13
***

The Rain, Transformed

***


"I find myself asking the same question over and over: why, oh why, did I have to be saddled with a fucking moron like you?"

"Hey! I resemble that remark! It's not OUR fault that this guy did not put any countermeasures to sleeping gas."

"Once more, you're a fucking moron who doesn't do his fucking homework. Do you know that I spent a gigantic portion of my seal matrices just to keep the beast inside from breaking out?"

"Well, senpai... that's the thing. Your seal matrices are all inert. Shouldn't the Shukaku be rampaging right about now?"

The two of them stopped on the nearest tree branch.

The larger one opened up for a bit, only for a marionette's hand to emerge from its maw and rap the blonde ninja on the back of the head.

"Like I said," he said between slaps, "Fucking. Moron."

The pursuit team dropped in at that time, and the big one spared no expense to throw the bound and gagged form of the One-Tails' jinchuriki at them.

"What?" Uzumaki Naruto asked, completely confused as he caught the sleeping Kazekage, and before anyone could react, a storm of smoke bombs hit the area.

Of course the renegade blonde nin just had to have the last word before running away.

"SEE YA LATER, NERDS!"

Naruto didn't know what to do with his new burden, until gold eyes opened and locked onto his.

"Boo."

He yelped, leaped back, and dropped Gaara of the Sands as his Tailed Beast started laughing in concert with the Nine-Tailed Fox inside him.

"Yes, I do believe that's a very... what did my secretary say... poggers display you just made, sacrifice," the Shukaku said with a grin as he puppeteered the sleeping Gaara's body. "Nonetheless, this is a weakness this boy will... seek to rectify... in the coming days. He'll need to sleep for a week or so, can you imagine that? He'll be probably dreaming of something as long as that pirate comic piece thing my secretary keeps raving about. Anyway, while he's out... how's it going?"

At the sight of the guarded expressions of Gaara's would-be 'rescue team', the Shukaku just smiled softer. "Top of the hat to ya'. The name's Shukaku, though you know me as the One-Tailed Beast. How are y'all?"

***

"Great Leader, we have failed--"

"It is but a temporary setback," the Leader's right-hand woman said. "Continue your reconnaissance of the Tailed Beasts and their jailers. Stay away from Kirigakure and its environs, though. There is one loose end we still need to tie up there... and your presence will only complicate matters."

"What will we do in the meantime?"

"You can manage your information network from Kumo, right? And since nobody's using that place any more, you can take that kid you're babysitting and have him do his best... ugh... artistic work there."

The big ninja scoffed.

"Well, at least it's not going to be boring. When are you and yours going to make a move?"

"The next step is Kirigakure. That's all you need to know -- once we've mopped up the loose ends there, we can start on our actual mission: saving this world."

"About fucking time."

"Report back once you have arrived at the crater formerly known as Kumogakure."

"Roger that, Leader-sama's Girl Friday-sama," the blonde said as he butted into the transmission, and some tentacles grew from the big ninja to grab onto the blonde one and wrest him out of the transmission. "Hey, what are you doing! I'm no schoolgirl! This isn't fun!"

"Sorry about that. We'll be heading to Kumo now."

"Understood," the woman said, and the big ninja was amazed at the emotional control involved. If he had been out of his... even he would have shown some amusement at what had been happening.

Dammit, this woman seemed more like a puppet than he was.

Also, he really wanted to address his curiosity about the details on what "saving the world" meant... but he had to get out of this babysitting gig to start working on that.

***

Making Waves

***

"Why did you ask to settle here, instead of the Land of Rice Fields?" the woman asked.

"Well, this place is better to start cultivating. A port city... and a possible secondary neutral location in this world. The Land of Iron makes for a good spot for that, but its climate is forbidding... we could start something here. A ninja village cleared this place before, right?"

"They did. Couple years ago. Wave has only begun to bounce back now."

"Well, you can count on this invincible shrine maiden to help you out!"

The Mist refugee found herself completely confused by how the self-proclaimed Oracle Priestess acted -- even more so when she woke up one morning to find her there.

Every time something happened, this "Oracle" had given her hints on what to do during their escape from Kirigakure, and how to survive until they got to Wave.

Now that they made it here, her husband was busy working the fields and preparing for what the "Oracle" said was to come... it didn't paint a pretty picture, but for the child they would be bringing into the world, they would have to do their best.

She made it a point to write to her brother once his niece or nephew was born, though.

***

Grudges

***

"You know what the sad thing about all of this is?" Kurotsuchi asked the woman walking alongside her, "Grandfather knows his adviser's words are sound, but he holds onto past grievances like a dog would a bone."

The woman in glasses raised an eyebrow.

She sighed.

"Everyone here is the same. Even me," she admitted. "Old wounds run deep, and are passed to the next generation, wondering why they suffer..."

"You already know it," the woman in glasses replied. "That means you're closer to fixing it than your fellow Iwa-nin do, even your grandfather, given how often he brushes off my darling's counsel."

"His words are wise," Kurotsuchi admitted. "Though I wonder, my chakra gives you power... but what moves the Statute of Victory?"

"That is something you will have to take up with your grandfather," the woman said before picking up a book. "He did not seem to like my name, or my darling when he was summoned here along with me."

"What do the two of you plan?"

She looked up from where she was reading. "Now? Peaceful days... but that will change shortly. You see it, don't you?"

Kurotsuchi nodded.

"Whatever it is, it's coming, and coming fast. We might have to bite the bullet and cooperate with the Leaf, if we are to survive."

"Indeed," the woman wearing glasses said, and let out a rare smile. "Wouldn't you look at that, you're already in a better spot than a majority of Iwa-nin. Your village will be in good shape under your leadership, Master."

"Thank you, senpai."

"You're welcome. Ah, it's nice to finally earn the moniker."

Even Kurotsuchi had to giggle at that.

***

Stick Fighting

***

Two warriors stood opposite one another.

One carried a bokken, another a shinai.

Both settled into their stances.

"Ready... begin!"

The one with the bokken flashed forward, and the one with the shinai readied a guard, eyes spinning into crimson immediately.

The first slash came down, and was deflected easily.

The counterattack came, and was likewise batted away with the bokken.

A second sequence of moves came, all parries and deflections until the shinai-wearer overextended...

...and got knocked to the ground with a hit to the shoulder from the bokken.

Red eyes turned to black as the man with the shinai stood up, rubbing his shoulder.

"Good one," he said.

"You're getting better. You don't know it yet, but you are making much progress."

"Still not enough against you, though."

"Don't worry about it. I know how to keep my skill level just above anyone I face whenever I spar, it's what Mr. Hijikata taught me. Anyway, I heard your teammate is coming home soon. Are you going to meet him, Sasuke-kun?"

"Maybe later, Okita-senpai," Uchiha Sasuke replied. "After one more spar."
 
Part 14
Guess Who's Back

***

"We've managed to take great strides in Naruto's training. Never thought I'd say this, but the boy ran me ragged for all these years. Must be because of the warning Oto's new leader gave him."

"Otogakure has taken a very defensive stance across the past couple months, limiting themselves to scouting missions, information acquisition and clearing their surrounding territories of bandits," the Hokage thought aloud. "The elders, intelligence division, and everyone are agreeing: they're preparing for something big to hit. What it is, we don't know yet; the kunoichi named Sitonai has been playing with her cards close to the chest."

"Been stewing in this for two years, hime," Jiraiya said. "Sitonai was surprisingly forthcoming with information when asked, but about this, clammed up immediately. Could it be that the reason she's being conservative about this information is because... we might not believe her?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, on paper, Konoha and Oto are enemies," Jiraiya explained. "However, running policy for Oto for the past two to three years is to pack up and retreat when a Konoha shinobi is sighted. We also get a lot of anonymous tips from what I assume to be Oto's own information network. Functionally, we're under-the-table allies of Otogakure... but this is something they're really holding close, and our village status isn't a factor. Maybe... maybe... it has something to do with that word Sarutobi's grandkid keeps saying: 'aliens'. It's... could it be that they're not sharing it because it's too outlandish for us to do something about it?"

The Hokage exhaled as she saw her old teammate's mind whirring intensely in real time.

"You might be more right than you think," she replied. "I want to see for myself. Sarutobi Rin has also talked about dire events to pass, along with that 'aliens' word. I'd like to meet with Sitonai again, just to confirm my suspicions."

After she took a sip of sake, her gaze turned playful.

"That aside... what's this I hear about you meeting a cute girl in Tanzaku-Gai?"

Jiraiya paled as Tsunade's grin widened.

"You're not the only one with an information network, you know. I have here a copy of one of your noise citations. Tell me, did you use any of those 'tricks' you've written?"

The Toad Sage wished he could use an Earth jutsu to vanish into the ground, but the Hokage's office was on the top floor.

He glanced at the window, hoping to escape, but as he turned back to the Hokage, he saw that she didn't look angry or neutral.

If any, she looked relieved.

"You can drop the genjutsu on your hand now," she sighed.

***

Party Time

***

"So how was training?" Sasuke asked as Team 7 was reunited once again.

"Tough," Naruto replied. "Nothing I can't handle, though. But yeah, the two of you? You're ANBU, and Sakura's close to hitting jonin?"

"That's right," Sakura answered as their order of ramen came in. "You look like you've pushed yourself way beyond your limits under Jiraiya-sama."

"I did," Naruto confided. "With what's going on in the world, I have to get strong. Lots of people are counting on me to do that. So what's this I hear about your swordsmanship, Sasuke?"

He grinned.

"Learned from a living legend and Kakashi-sensei. Sakura also got a head start on her apprenticeship under the Hokage."

"Well, I have to see how good you guys are!"

"Exactly," Sakura answered. "I want to see how far you've gone, because there's someone here I'm aiming to surpass."

Team 7 thought of another team of three that graduated the same year as they did.

The rest of the meal passed by in a companionable silence that was filled with the resolve of ambition.

***

The World Is Yours

***

The world of ninja spent time under a rickety and uneasy peace since Naruto's return from training, and though several missions passed without incident, there was still a feeling of the other shoe about to drop around ninja everywhere in the continent.

And then, on a bright summer's day, it happened.

Television transmissions were hijacked, and strange squares of black and white flashed on the screens before the face of a man with orange hair and severe-looking features was revealed.

"Do not adjust your sets," he proclaimed. "This address is simulcast across all channels and frequencies in the ninja world. Heh... ninja world. Prepare yourselves, because the end is nigh, and the Akatsuki will be the dawn of the end of your way of life."

Pandemonium ensued briefly, but as civilians and lower-ranked ninja calmed down, the man continued to speak.

"Though Akatsuki has the right of reprisal against the ninja world, we did not come to fight you or end you. The end will come, whether you seek us out or not. The question is, will your villages endure after the end? Will your way of life? This distorted system of subterfuge, warfare and perfidy? That is the question you must ask yourselves."

"The end is already here, and it lurks among you."

"The Salamander thought to end us, but we ourselves have endured," he continued, and gestured to the camera, which spun, revealing the inert form of Hanzo the Salamander situated in a stasis cell, kept alive by machinery more modern than anything the ninja world had ever seen. "What we have learned is greater than our need for revenge against the Salamander, and the forces he allied with to maintain his hold on Amegakure."

"We hold that village, but it is now in the process of being converted into shelters for those who wish to be protected against the doom of this world, with but a smidgen of your chakra as payment."

"You may come to challenge us, but be warned, we carry with us forces greater than you ninja can ever imagine."

"My name is Yahiko of the Akatsuki, and we are the dawn of the new age... and the twilight of the old one."

The broadcast cut out.

***

"Well, that was something," Avenger said as soon as the address ended. "I wouldn't be caught doing something like that, but it's a good stunt they pulled."

"You like them?" Tohsaka asked in disbelief.

"Kinda, sorta," Nobunaga replied. "I won't lie, I entertained the thought of joining them to turn this world upside down, but that would make Okita sad. Besides, Konoha is already taking steps to adapt to this new way of the world."

"How so?"

"Well, you have me. Thanks to the tech we traded in exchange for that Kazahana Koyuki mission, we're now in final testing for pocket ninja railguns. Ozy's engineering advances have also helped our urban planning. Okita... it would hurt the new Mizukage's feelings if she found out we have trained more swordsmen in three years than they have in five. Something bothers me, though."

"What does?"

"It's an open challenge," Nobunaga thought aloud. "Maybe it's a way to winnow out those who would fight this change rather than struggle, endure, and adapt? I've seen you guys. Shinobi are built more to do that than to go on open warfare. You guys are close to seamlessly adapting to what will come more than others, I feel... and that's another reason why I'll be sticking with you, Kurama-dono and Okita-san aside."

"There's one thing bothering me more than you, Avenger," Shirou said quietly. "All of you were looking at that Yahiko fellow. The back of the stage... looked like some sort of ship's bridge or something... why did I feel deja vu when I saw it?"

Three Servants and his two fellow Masters turned to him.

"You felt that, too?"

***

"All right, gather round," the Hokage said as the main group of Konoha's leadership gathered in her office. "Because of the Akatsuki's declaration, the microdick -- yes, I know, I said that to get the laughs out of your system before we can get down to the nitty-gritty -- called upon a Kage Summit. Apparently, someone informed him that one of our genin teams at the time of a certain Chunin exam was part of this 'threat to global security' he kept ranting about, and wanted to ensure we weren't using these threats to advance ourselves at their expense."

"Hokage-sama, do you speak of that Kurama Sakura incident? That was several years ago."

"And you KNOW the Raikage holds onto grudges like you wouldn't believe. How many years has it been since Oonoki called a flee-on-sight onto the Fourth, may his soul stay peaceful?"

"You just called out his manhood, Hokage-sama."

"I did, and I'm saving it for when he starts boo-hooing about his former bloodline kidnapping target growing to a hundred feet and flattening his beloved village with the palm of her hand," the Hokage answered dismissively. "And, to rub salt in the wound, I'm going to put Team 13 -- with their jonin sensei -- as my escorts."

"Don't you think that's... petty?"

"Kurama Sakura put paid on the principal of the Hyuuga Incident. This is the interest... anyway, where was I? The Summit will be in the Land of Iron, three months from now. I want everyone trained up and prepped for the worst around that time -- if Akatsuki makes a move, we're going to make them wish they didn't run their mouths."

"Where is Councilman Shimura, by the way?"

"Administrative leave, and by that, I mean he's up to his eyeballs in cleaning up his closet. It's going to take quite some time to finish sweeping his back yard, hopefully he'll be done in time for the Summit."

***

"A-Rank mission for Team 13: escort mission for one Tatsuhiro Akari and her companion... how do you pronounce this, little miss?"

"Meru," the girl in blue armor answered. "I do not see why we will need further assistance, when I am all you need, Miss Akari."

"Meru," Akari replied, "I know you are strong... but you saw what my brother's handiwork nearly did. It's thanks to these nice people that its rampage was stopped before it got to Konoha proper."

"And that was why you wanted them to escort you," 'Meru' replied. "Understandable."

"Hello," the girl in the red dress said as she entered the briefing room. "Team 13 here for the A... Rank..."

The previous battle had them only seeing each other in bits and pieces, and when the young man in a white cloak and igote stepped forward, everyone felt the mood in the room change.

"I know you..." Meru muttered as she saw the man. "Muramasa."

Shirou nodded back at her. "You too... Lancer."

***

A/N: Team 13 does know how transferring mana between Servant and Master works, they just decided to troll Jiraiya by hinting about the most efficient method of mana transfer.

The toads also know this fact, and are in on the joke with Team 13. They also know that Team 13 are more than just three shinobi, though the extent of their knowledge about it has yet to be revealed.
 
Part 15
Note: Shirou, Rin, and Sakura are unavailable due to their Mount Koryu mission (Dragon Blade Chronicles). Because of that, Sitonai/Illyasviel is our spotlight character for this snippet.

***

Snow // Rain

***

"It was just as you said, Orochimaru," Sitonai declared as her vessel's abilities allowed her to detect the many shinobi following them on their trip to Rain Country.

The organization known as Akatsuki had made themselves and their aim known, and Otogakure had to take a stand of some sort.

Thankfully, things developed just as Orochimaru had hypothesized. With the great Hidden Villages assembling for a summit in Iron, that left the minor villages scrambling to find some sort of way to deal with the functional declaration of war Akatsuki made upon them.

Quick to capitalize on their imminent internal instability, Sitonai swept in and promised the minor villages that Otogakure would get their answers from the missing-nin organization.

It would also prove to very fortuitous to both Sitonai and her fellow reincarnates, as they were too busy in Mount Koryu, preventing that disaster from happening. It meant that the former Illyasviel von Einzbern had to step up... and also coordinate whatever information she'd find to both Shirou and the others, as well as the Tailed Beasts.

The Sarutobi had found one of their targets already. It was only a matter of time before Sitonai would find the ringleader.

And as the Otogakure group made their way to Rain, the previous falling rain had begun to crystalize into snowflakes, proof of the coming winter... and of Sitonai's power.

***

"We come in peace," Sitonai declared to the Akatsuki contingent meeting them at the gates. "I have come only to share information that you and yours will need in the future, in exchange for some insight on how minor ninja villages will continue through your eponymous 'dawn of a new age, and end of the old one'... your speech writer is inspired, I might add."

To Sitonai's surprise, the spokesperson for the Akatsuki stepped forward.

"What could you offer that we do not already have?" Yahiko asked curiously.

Illya tried to find any hostility in the man's voice or chakra, but found none.

"Your wayward member hiding in the grass, for one," Sitonai replied, and that answer got a reaction out of him. "That thing is but one of the pests gnawing at the tree of this world who we aim to eliminate. Your world has no crystallized wishes to guard against those who would aim to prune this world for their own."

Despite the warning, Yahiko smiled.

"You think I don't have contingency measures for that?" he asked, and revealed a very familiar, though very different, cross tattoo on the back of his hand. "Lancer, please show yourself."

A woman in armor made her presence known, and instead of recoiling in fright, the de facto leader of Otogakure just nodded.

"No wonder onii-chan couldn't summon you," she thought aloud, her eyes growing nostalgic. "You were here long before he was reincarnated..."

One blink later, and she was back to business.

"I'm already tracking those who would prune this world, Master of Lancer," Sitonai said confidently. "Unfortunately, I am in league with the village that caused you to start this organization in the first place."

"That is a shame."

"I am not going to ask you to let go of your justice," the Alter Ego declared. "But I will ask that you defer it, at least until we are sure the White Titan's children have all been scoured from this world."

Lancer strutted up to her, still on the horse.

"How do you know these things?"

"You might not know it, but you have driven them away before, on another world. Even now, instead of outright conquest, they are rooted in our world, seeking to gather their power until our very bodies become the vessel for their revival," Sitonai told Lancer enigmatically. "I would like to think of that as a bigger threat than some Hokage wannabe starting a shitty black ops group and dick-fencing with Hanzo the Salamander."

Yahiko tried desperately to keep a straight face, but couldn't.

"I have never heard of it described that way," he admitted after he had gotten over his laughing fit. He knew now that this Sitonai was, though an ally of Konoha, not their enemy. "What's this I hear about Konoha cleaning up their back yard?"

"They're getting to that point. I might even ask the Hokage for Shimura Danzo's corpse as proof that they want to mend fences with you and yours, but that is for future dealings. We have a clear and present danger working in this world now, and your declaration accelerated their timetable."

"How do we stop them?"

"Look to scientific advancement, particularly the miraculous ones. Servants can also sense them, especially those who have fought against the White Titan."

Yahiko made a face.

"Did I play into their plans?"

Sitonai shook her head.

"No, but this isn't the first time a plotter thought himself the mastermind but ended up another worm on the hook. At least now, you know where you stand. Your aim is noble... but it will take more than nobility to bring this way of the world down, even after we are sure that the Titan's spawn are no longer a threat to this world."

"Then, can we count on your support?"

"For now, you have it."

***

Dire Tidings

***

It was during Naruto's training that he was called into the seal and presented a letter from the little girl leading Otogakure.

While in the seal, Naruto opened the letter, and was immediately floored by the message within.

Give my regards to you and your team, Uzumaki Naruto.

This is just a small note from me to tell you that things are going well.

To wit, despite Akatsuki's declaration of war, no hostilities have taken place yet.

Your prioritizing training is good; Chiyo-neesan also gives her greetings.

Godfather or not, Jiraiya needs to know some developments about my meeting with the red clouds.

Now, though, other concerns have more priority than that; but I am sure you will give everything their due balance.

There is also something you need to contact your senpai about.

Is their team still in Mount Koryu? I heard Muramasa-kun was acquainted with Tatsuhiro Akari's bodyguard.

Another thing you need to know is that you have been making waves here thanks to your editing.

One shouldn't let their success get to their head, though.

Of course, you should also look after yourself, your health, and your teammates', too.

Him? Do you refer to your teammate Uchiha Sasuke? I hear he is also training like you, as well.

Running laps in the village perimeter, I hear, is a good way of exercise and being visible to the civilians.

Around here, shinobi visibility is limited; minor villages simply don't have the same privileges as, like, Konoha.

COMMIT THIS LETTER TO MEMORY AND DELIVER THIS MESSAGE TO JIRAIYA. THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 60 SECONDS.


GOOD LUCK, UZUMAKI NARUTO.

Signed, Sitonai


***

Uzumaki Naruto only had two words to say once he was out of the seal and done reading Sitonai's ominous letter.

"Ah, shit."

Deep within the seal, the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox just laughed.

***
 
Part 16
***

To Fly to the Heavens


***

"Are you sure it's okay to just let them go like that?" Hyuuga Iroha asked as Team 13's off-village debrief unofficially began. "They might start trouble again in the future."

"Not to our knowledge, sir," Shirou replied. "What happened with the supposed 'Genryuu' was that they were apparently elemental aspects of a greater dragon: the legendary dragon, Albion."

"What of that dragon, then? Is it a threat to Konoha?"

The three Konoha-nin shook their heads.

"If any, we have acquired an off-the-books ally against whatever threats Sound has scrounged up. Besides…" Shirou trailed off, closing his eyes for a moment, "I have a feeling it won't be the last we'll see of the Tatsushiro siblings and their bodyguard."

"So… we'll mark the Mount Koryu mission as a success?"

"Not a conventional success, but a success nonetheless. As Uzumaki Naruto is wont to do, the best outcome is to turn an enemy into an ally."

"That's quite the statement you've made."

"Of course. Being the Hokage's granddaughter has its perks."

They continued talking about mundane things until Sakura turned her head to see a woman with blue hair pass them by in the streets of Tanzaku Gai.

Before anyone could do anything, Hyuuga Iroha immediately heard Team 13's voices inside his head.

Evacuate this area immediately.

***

Sarutobi Rin snapped her fingers, and immediately, the seal matrices around the town activated, causing a line of distorted space-time to manifest and expand, creating a large and empty area containing Shirou, Rin and Sakura… with the woman they spotted.

"Now this… this is new," the woman said nonchalantly. "I suppose you are the strike team sent after me?"

They said nothing.

"Or you're wondering why I'm here," she said. "We already know what you're planning. You cannot stop us."

Her eyes changed shape, but as soon as they did, her mouth fell open.

What strangeness was this, when the three before her were voids of nothing, blind spots before her vision of divinity?

The three voids were slowly but surely making their way to her.

"So… so that's why I was called back… that's why the order was rescinded…" she thought out loud before going into a combat stance. Her eyes returned to normal, and that was when she realized she wasn't facing opponents her associates were aware of, something completely beyond their understanding…

"…sought to forge the ultimate blade. Not a sword that cuts through flesh, bone, or the living…"

"…O lightning of the underworld, gather and become my spear…"

"Let all traces of life and soul be melted. Install!"

It was at this moment that she knew.

She fucked around.

And now she was about to find out.

***

Life in Tanzaku Gai resumed as if nothing was wrong, several minutes after the emergency evacuation protocols were called upon (as is standard for when S-Rank ninja would have to fight in populated areas).

However, for ten minutes, it seemed that nothing was going on, except for the strange line that appeared in the town's main road that looked very much out of place.

It was around the time when several shinobi assigned to the town decided to investigate the anomaly that it dispelled, three Konoha ninja leaping out of the disturbance just before it vanished into thin air.

A woman's severed head followed suit, and as soon as it hit the ground, a disheveled and furious Sarutobi Rin channeled what little combat-ready chakra she had, and stomped onto the severed head, reducing it into a disgusting pile of flesh, blood and metal.

"AND STAY FUCKING DEAD! PIECE OF SHIT!" she roared in vicious triumph, her blue eyes briefly glowing red before her posture slackened.

"Uh, nee-san," Kurama Sakura commented, "nearly every ninja in Tanzaku Gai just saw what you did."

She sighed.

"Who fucking cares, I am so fucking tired of this subterfuge. Give me an evil ninja's ass to kick any time over this."

She stomped her way out of the carnage, leaving her two teammates to calm down everyone else based on what just happened.

Right now, Rin did not care… but she did care enough that she didn't mention that they were able to do this thanks to Otogakure's own information network.

***

Butterfly Effect

***

"This one's on the house," the girl with the horned headband said as she poured out the last bottle for the man to drink. "Here's to the future: cheers!"

The man toasted and chugged down the drink, not noticing the sadistic smile the girl was wearing.

It only took several minutes for the mickey to take effect, and by then, the man was already sleeping into the bar.

The woman with the headband laughed daintily before paying her tab and disappearing into the darkness outside, pulling off the headband to reveal that the horns really were a part of her anatomy…

***

Several hours later, at one of Orochimaru's former bases…

"Are you successful?"

"But of course, Master. Taking candy from a baby is easier than what I just did. Though… Master… why would you not lethally poison this person?"

"Because if I did, they'd find another one. This way, they'll stay on him as much as they can, and find out too late that they've wasted all their resources on someone whose swimmers don't swim any longer."

"How underhanded… say, I heard from our common friend that there is one less problem in this world."

"They found and disposed of her? Good… though that means with a piece so powerful taken out of the board this early, they're going to immediately understand that something is up. Well, it's time for me to take on the next phase of the plan… these ninja are so predictable."

***

Disturbing New Developments

***

Two figures were at the bath house and covertly appreciating the eye candy when an ANBU stepped up to them.

"Sir, the Hokage would like a word with the both of you," the ANBU said.

"He'll / I'll be there in five," the two figures replied simultaneously.

"The Hokage will be here if you are not at her office in five," the ANBU added, and then disappeared.

"Is it just me, or do Uchiha always become bigger dicks when they put the mask on?" the man asked as he began to scrawl the last bits of writing onto his notebook.

"Don't ask me, Sennin-dono, I'm just here to draw," the girl in the kimono replied. "And we should get going. Your Hokage will be cross if we don't get there in time."

"Yeah, yeah."

One transformation into spirit form and shunshin later, the bathhouse was empty.

***

"What is it this time, hime?" Jiraiya the Toad Sage asked as he entered the Hokage's office. "You're the one who told me to lie low for the next two weeks to iron out all the details of my next book as well as the illustrators with Oei-chan here, right?"

"That's right," the Hokage replied. "You won't believe what our informants in Sound managed to get. Remember when Sitonai warned you of an impersonator wandering around the Elemental Countries?"

Jiraiya nodded, and Tsunade tossed a sheaf of pictures at the Foreigner-class Servant and her Master.

"What in the Sage's name… that's me!"

"Those pictures were taken two days ago, while you were in town."

"That's Sennin-dono for sure, but his facial expressions are completely different," Oei noted. "What kind of advancement would allow for someone to create a perfect copy of another person?"

"The kind that makes people think that that eye-robbing warhawk had a good point for us to hoard our technology," Tsunade said, gritting her teeth. "For now, Jiraiya, I need you here in-village and lying as low as possible, at least until this problem has solved itself."

"What do you – oh, right, you're going to throw Team 13 at it."

"As I speak, Team 13 has had the most success in fulfilling Otogakure's hit list. We still have several targets who Sitonai has designated as ultra-high-priority, but it's only a matter of time before they get drawn out and taken care of."

She sighed.

"It's these types of problems that require the ninja world to unite… but a united ninja world attracts parasites like these people… still, whatever Oto's leader called the 'Titan's spawn'… colors me curious.

"Ah, I am not the one you should be talking to about that, Hokage-dono," Oei responded. "Maybe those who have been living since the time of who you call the Sage could ease your curiosity."

"The question becomes, will that person of interest be willing to do so? All the more, since we put him in a person-shaped cage for generations…" Tsunade thought out loud.

***

a/n: who knew that people die if they are killed, especially when hit with Tsumukari Muramasa, Kur Kigal Irkalla and Sarasvati Meltout at once

also yes, Rin is the surrogate of everyone who just read Boruto 79 OMEGALUL
 
Servants and Masters
List of all known Servant-and-Master team-ups revealed so far.

And yes, before anyone comments, the disproportionate amount of Assassin servants is there... because this is a ninja world.

Konohagakure and Konohagakure-affiliated:
  • Muramasa Shirou: Okita Souji (Saber)
  • Sarutobi Rin: Ozymandias (Rider)
  • Kurama Sakura: Oda Nobunaga (Avenger)
  • Jiraiya: Katsushika Hokusai and Oei (Foreigner)
  • Sitonai / Illyasviel von Einzbern: Shuten-douji (Assassin)
  • Unknown Master (Otogakure): Ibaraki-douji (Berserker)
  • Unknown Master (Otogakure): Mochizuki Chiyome (Assassin)
Not affiliated with Konoha:
  • Hidan: BB (Moon Cancer)
  • Tatsuhiro Akari: Fairy Knight Lancelot (Lancer) (Emergency summon a la Shirou in FSN)
  • Kurotsuchi: Yu Mei-ren (Assassin) (Works as Kurotsuchi's shadow)
  • Unknown Master (Iwagakure): Xiang Yu (Berserker) (Works as the Tsuchikage's counselor)
  • Kahyou: Himiko (Ruler)
  • Unknown Master (Sunagakure): Osakabehime (Assassin) (Hiding in plain sight as the Kazekage's secretary)
  • Yahiko of the Akatsuki: Artoria Pendragon (Lancer)
Possible Servants that exist, but have not yet been revealed:
  • None at the moment.
Also, Sitonai / Illyasviel is personally invested in mutilating the Boruto setting, because she wanted to summon the FGO version of Kasshin Koji. Since someone else has been appropriating that identity, the summoning has not yet worked.

And yes, Sakura's favorite install is Melt. Author bias speaking.
 
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