Did you ever have the thought of wanting to go back in time and do it all over again?

[The Working Student]

What it says on the title thread.

Context: I've been working for a while now since I've graduated. Moved out of my parent's house after I found a job in 2020 in a construction firm hundreds of kilometers away. Parents financially assisted me for a while until I told them to stop since I could already support myself.

Well fast forward almost 4 years now and a lot of shit has changed. I couldn't come home back during the pandemic since I was just a newly moved tenant in an apartment when the quarantine's struck and I was loath to waste what money I downpayed for the first 3 months of renting so I stuck through. Eventually these 3 months of staying extended to a year, then 3 years; at that point I've lost my motivation to comeback home since it was hassle to safe guard stuff when you yourself was the only dude you trusted to keep an eye on your belongings.

Anyways, I got a call that a mom passed and it was just days before christmas; beforehand, I was preparing to make the roadtrip back home for christmas since it was the first christmas after quarantine was lifted but this call accelerated those plans.

I make the trip, and I go back to the row of houses that I grew up in and I'm baffled that so much shit had changed; lots of houses now had new stuff added to them, the kids I saw running around 4 years ago were now walking with dates and girlfriends ans boyfriends.

I go back and confront my dad about what happened, and he told me that cancer took her away. After moving out, I used to call them weekly, then that turned to a monthly thing by the end of the 6th month then I stopped making regular calls after that. After talking, I walked into my old room and you know what I saw? It was converted to my mom's hospital room complete with oxygen tank and heart beat monitor. It stank of antiseptic and porridge, and I realized that this was where my mom passed; my dad converted my old room to an isolated hospital room during covid due to fears of infecting my mom with covid and possibly killing her. She was isolated in this room for a year and a half during quarantine.

I kinda wished I kept calling you know? I have this insane thought inside my head that I wish I had the power to turn back time to 4 years ago and not move out if this was how it turned out.

I'd go through the suffering of a college thesis all over again if it meant that I got to spend more time with her.

 

[Biigoh]

That's human nature.

 

[The Working Student]

That's human nature.

Click to shrink...

Heh. Thanks for reminding me it is, at least.

Kinda a bummer that my christmas is like this. I'm not too torn apart since I've accepted that my parents won't be with me forever, but when she passed I have this guilt of not talking and spending more time with her for a few minutes a week, for the past years.

I'm staying with the family for a bit longer, but I'll eventually have to leave my hometown for work after new years.

 

[Biigoh]

Heh. Thanks for reminding me it is, at least.

Kinda a bummer that my christmas is like this. I'm not too torn apart since I've accepted that my parents won't be with me forever, but when she passed I have this guilt of not talking and spending more time with her for a few minutes a week, for the past years.

I'm staying with the family for a bit longer, but I'll eventually have to leave my hometown for work after new years.

Click to shrink...

What I find helps is to set up google calender to remind you to talk to people.

Get in the habit of calling them and stay in the habit... like I message my mom every morning... even thou, I'm like less than 1/2 hour away from her.

 

[Amazon Climber]

I used to. Then I realized that changing the past meant I'd probably erase my nephew from existence. Niblings really put a damper on Peggy Sue fantasies.

 

[Andy333]

I'm pretty happy with how my life has turned out. I have my regrets and I wish I hadn't spent as much time as I did on stupid shit, but those things need to happen for me to get where I am. The only thing that could convince to go back in time is if I could save my sister, but unfortunately as much as I wish it wasn't she made her chose and back then even with the knowledge I have now I wouldn't have been a position to changing anything.

 

[Stanley_Jeb]

As someone who once made a mistake I can never take back... Yeah, the wish is pretty constant. Hell, I'd even take a back-to-the-future kinda deal where I get erased upon changing the past due to coming from the wrong "timeline".
Sadly, that's not how it works.

 

[Reman Septim]

If I could turn back time, I would rewrite those li(n)es.

I had a schoolmate(my senpai with two schoolyear gap) who was very nice to me. We had many relatable moments. Then she introduced her sister on the summer of my last year. Both of them had been kind and understanding of me. Of course I would fall for both of them. But because I am a degenerate they slowly kept their distance. It got to the point where they're implying they don't want to talk to me anymore. I am not welcome at their house. If I could just tell them my feelings, let them understand more of who I am, to let them know that I would never think of doing something untoward to them, at least we would have kept the friendship alive.

Now I am dead. And what is dead may never die.