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Fou's Snippet Thread
- Thread starter Fou-san
- Start date
Pilesofbooks
Verified Broke
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Oof. Too real...more pls?
Fou-san
Beast IV
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TBH, that's basically me writing whatever the hell I feel like on a whim that's losely connected and is not all cohernt in the long run lol
...
Have been thinking about it lately though, considering how I'd continue it.
Welcome to the Index
Fou-san
Beast IV
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*WORDS DON'T COUNT IN A BLOODY QUOTE.*
Last edited:
Dispatch Jumpchain - This is SDN, how may we help you? -1
Fou-san
Beast IV
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Word's don't count to the word count in a Quote~ Also said:
I regret, ever filling out, that gods be damned, jumpchain fourm.
Sure, get bored, go online, find a random jumpchain for something you like, 'Oh, what's this? It's got an interactive version? Might as well!'
Now I'm stuck here, Hellena Robertdotir, Mecha-Man.
That's right, imaginary people I've been talking to in my head since I got out of bed this morning with an entire other life shoved inside of it. Mecha-Man, not Mecha-Woman. I'm basically cosplaying the Nasu-verse version of the main character!
Thank god I didn't do that press conference and had my lawyer do it for me, meeting Mandy-sorry, Blond Blazer was a weird thing. At least she didn't hit on me or anything, just got me some neat whisky, threw water on Flambae as he igntied a fire, snarked about that causing a problem.
I got kicked out for his stupidity, no I didn't spit pure alcohol into or on Blazer, Just into my hand and overmyself. Blazer stayed behind to pay, picked me up and took me for eval, I got her to at least let me onto the ground before flying off.
Now I'm here, watching the shitty Phenomaman Commercial, next to the literal embodiment of the word Wet. "You could've put in the effort to memorize the script, buddy..." I heard the small wet squelch as Waterboy stepped up while chuckling. "Wha -- wait, what's that?" I looked behind me, locking eyes with the very nervous kid just trying to do his best. "Nothing, you here for an interview?" He played with his hands, stumbling through his words as he moved to sit down.
"Kid, relax, you're going to do fine." He looked at me with genuine surprise in his eyes. "Ya-ya-you, really, think, so?" I grabbed at his tie, pulling him closer. "C'mon, deep breaths, follow me. 1, 2, 3, 4- Exhale, 1, 2, 3, 4. Just like that, In 1, 2, 3, 4." Grab the fat tougne on the right, cross it over the short part, wrap around and bring over, cross around the back and pull back up, down and through, flip over to the other side bring up the back and through the front with enough space and- "There, tie's done." The door opened as Herman marvelled at his completely done tie, grabbing my hand and shaking it while thanking me, not like I paid much attention to his words, instead focusing on Flambae and deciding what I should do with him as a Dispatcher.
"Don't sweat it, kid, now listen to me." I grabbed his head with both hands, making direct eye contact with the most likely crippled by social anxiety kid in front of me. "You don't have a stutter-" I placed a hand over his mouth when he tried to speak up. "Kid, listen to me, okay? I've been were you've been." Which is technically not true, at least not as Hellena. "You stumble over your words, you're unsure. But you need, to believe in yourself. I don't think you have a stutter, I think you have a confidence issue." I smiled, moving my hand back to keeping his head in place. "You're worried you're gonna say the wrong thing, so you won't finish a sentence." I smiled as he looked thoroughly mind blown.
"Oh, wasn't sure you'd show up." I turned to the latest issue I currently had. "Might as well, I don't really have much else going on for me." I might have two million in the bank from the inheritance, but that's money set aside for personal emergencies, like getting impaled and needing to pay off the hospital. Plus, SDN is going to keep me on as a Hero after the suit is fixed... How the hell am I going to meet Royd? "Oh, sorry, but I need her for something." I nodded, standing up. "You're an Ace kid, just work on what I told you, you'll be a hero in no time."
"Nice changing rooms, reminds me of going to the pool." I had half expected to be thrown into a conference room like the Male me. "Yeah, one of the perks of the job." Blazer... Wasn't the fully confident person I was used to watching, she seemed more shy. "Anyways, we don't want more people knowing you're Mech-Man." She placed a bag down on a bench, opening it up and rooting around. "A lot of the dispatchers are former superhero's, but it's better if we keep your secret." I placed my leg out just a bit, this gut feeling in me telling me- "Augh!" Mandy paused with a shirt half pulled out. "Are you serious." The sound of suffering.
"That feels like an HR Violation." Courtney, the betrayer. "Fucking bitch." I gave her my best disappointed Mom stare as I could. Though considering my body shape and size of assets I wouldn't be surprised if that actually fucking worked. "Hellena, this is Invisagal. She is apart of the Phoenix Program." She stood up, crossing her arms and looking me up and down. "We take former supervillians, such as herself-" Yadda Yadda, speech about redemption, earings trade back to rightful owner. "A washed up Milf Bod superhero with no super powers... Can't wait."
"I can feel the fucking Eye-roll Young lady." That got me a typical teenaged response of real eye rolls and a cocked hip. "Okay, mom." I was half tempted to actually take that invitation to do something motherly. Mandy steps in with the whole 'Don't leak the ID or I cut you' talk.' And of-course the low-hanging fruit of me having no Super Powers. "The suit didn't make me the Hero, I made the suit a Hero. You can be born with a power, but you have to put in the work to be a Hero." Insert best buy fight club, you know this is suspiciously on track, and I feel like the out shoe should drop.
I - Nanashi =[ Naruto X SI #1 ]= -(Reboot)-
New
Fou-san
Beast IV
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It is a well known fact, that the Naruto Universe does feature alternate timelines and alternate realities, particularly in later in the fantastically infuriating Boruto series. Or rather, the sequel that shan't be named but is fantastically infuriating to specially me at least.
Nether the less, I ask you, possible reader from another dimension.
If my thoughts are in actuality placed down as a story on some internet forum board somewhere or even just transcribed-
What do you do, when you die and arrive in front of a ROB?
Seriously, take a moment to think over your answer before you get back to me, or whatever Author.
Do you Beg? On your hands and knees to be allowed to return to the life you once knew.
Do you Cry? About the injustice of your life being cut short because someone was bored.
Do you Scream and Rage against them? Hardening what little emotion you can feel to shore up your will and demand concessions from them?
...
"Ticket 25500897-"
...
Or do you sit Quietly.
Do you do so with your hands in your lap?
Do you take the next words the being says as they come or do you instead zone out?
Hmmm, I suppose a rather... Different question comes to mind when I consider my situation.
As the Fat-assed Black Jesus of the Afterlife himself put it.
Quiet life or blaze o' glory?
...
"Ticket 142220564-"
...
I patiently waited in my seat, listening to the various reactions of other souls as I awaited Judgement. I'd seen many a reactions, from Depression to Absolute Rage.
Still, I sat with my legs closed, hands clasped, and eyes sticking to the floor. Not a peep from my eternal soul despite the chaos around me from various different souls yelling at each other in various emotional responses.
The pair to my right were once a lovely couple that ended up cheating on each other and killing each other. One of the Administrators, as I called them, had seen fit to chain them after they'd caused a rucks while leaving their seats. "Ticket 78060989-" The monotone voiced that announced the numbers caused the impatiently kissing couple to my left to pause-
Oh would you look at that? It's my turn.
If you'd like to know what's going on, each and every soul is attached a number, they're randomly generated and very long, but tell different things about a person's circumstances and how they'd arrived here. And when a person was picked? Well, we'd be turned into a sheet of paper and picked up by a wandering Administrator.
Where was I going with all this? Oh yes, explaining how I ended up here. "Alright, let's see you." I'd been semi-aware of my surroundings, sort of like I was in third person. Thus I knew that the man had a shreeder that particuarily mouthy people get added to and others that were stamped and end up in three diffrent effects. Fire, Light, and Fading.
My page was placed on the table and I appeared, sitting as I was naught just a couple minutes ago. "Well, lookie what we have~" I blinked, taking in the look of my... Judge, I had expected something else to be entirely honest, maybe an office worker? Instead, they looked like Truth from FMA. "Death by goat? Not as common as you think, though I don't think anyone before you has died because a goat got horny and decided it wanted to suck your dick." I nodded, staying perfectly quiet and content to watch the man as he fished a book out from under his desk. "Now, just let me check something."
He dropped it unceremoniously onto the desk, and I winced from the creaking sound of mahogany. "Now if I remember the right page..." He trailed off, cracking it open and starts skimming through the pages. "G.... G... G... O... O... O..." He licked his finger and flipped a page leisurely, "Aha~ Here it is!" He exclaims, stopping at a page. "Look at this, it's fucking amazing!" He turns the book around, specially pointing at something as I lean in... "Um... It's just the number one." I lean back, glancing up and catching a glimpse of a grin way to wide to fit on that featureless face.
He snapped, the book fading away like some of the papers before mine. "First death of this variety, so, I'm going to give you a Gift." I... Didn't quite like the way he said that... actually are they a He? "I am, but good on you for noticing your error and questioning if it was right." Alright, so he hears my thoughts. "Anywho- First up!" He leaned forward, blocking his mouth from one side and stage whispering with glee. "Cuz' I'm kinda on a kick for Naruto at the moment." He snapped back, landing heavily in that chair, how do I know that? The way it groans as he slams into it of-course.
"That's the world you're heading to paly." I nod. It's something that's familiar, at least in a passing interest and wikidives at 3 am kind of way. "And normally, I don't do this in the first place." He leans further into the protesting furniture, kicking his feet up on his desk. "Giving you a new life in a new world and all that..." He shrugs, waving a hand in the air at nothing. "So I might as well give you the whole Package." I nodded along, not out of want, not Fear. Just pure morbid curiosity.
"Alright so here's the fun part, Character creation." I uses his chin to gesture to the wall to my side. "We can do the generic OC insert, the 'I'm apart of a Clan!' shit like Senju or Uchiha or Hatake, or just spin a wheel for it." Each option was laid out in detail on three different doors. "Just pick what YOU feel is right." He scratched at his chin for a moment before looking at me, his unseeable gaze freezing me to the spot.
I thought over my options, OC would net me a standard out of context build most likely, being part of a clan could fuck me over with politics or being sent to the warning states period, so- "Option three, please." I already had the proverbial seat at the table, so I decided to take a page out my second favorite twink's book, and subsequently my favorite gambler. John Star Rail, Aventurine.
"All in? Alright, Alright, I'll raise you that." I don't- You know what? Not my problem.
*SNAP*
In the time it took me to blink, I was moved. "Alright buddy, you see here, this thing is the chooser, I use it for lots of things." Truth, as that was what I'd would mentally call the man going forward, leaned against me with an arm on my shoulder and a finger pointing at the roulette wheel. "There is so many option you can't even comprehend the damned thing, so for your safety you only get to see a fraction of it at a time." I nodded along, silently grateful he'd taken that into account. "Now," he flicked his finger, sending the wheel spinning. "Dealer's choice~" He placed a hand on the wheel, stopping it and the empty space where you'd usually placed bets changed, displaying the option he'd chosen.
"You seem like the ADHD kind of Gal~" He merely glanced over me, taking his weight off my shoulder and walking around to the other side of the table, waving a hand over the tiny text and enlarging it. "Mixed breed, Random." I looked between him and the table with a raised brow. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Like a flash freeze, my spine was frozen, the words having come out way sassier then I wanted and coming off borderline rude compared to the quiet politeness I had tried to convey.
"At ease, lassy. No harm no foul." My shoulders fell in silent relief. "Now, roll that ball." He flicker a finger, sending the very object he spoke of rolling across from his side of the table to mine. "Huh... A Sharingan?" I rolled it in my hand, feeling the weight... I smiled, this giddy feeling in my chest growing. "Bust? Or maybe, I'll take it all!" The ball rolled off my fingers, shooting into the spinning wheel. "Atta boy, now, let's see what you've drawn!" He snapped his fingers, forcing the table to stop, and I'd just have to trust he left it up to RNG.
"Apologies are in order." There was just a big number 2 on the table. "I'd added so many fractions and decimals, that I thought anyone would hit the pure MAX!" Puzzled, I looked back up. "I always, always, round up." Ah, that tells me... Nothing. "This is to determine your start, if you'd gotten a 1, we'd do a bunch more rolls to determine your affinities, heritage, all that good shit." I'm sensing a- "But with this, well, you're just going to have to pray." And there it is.
"So what's next? Am I shipped off?" This time my words came out with more curiosity.
He smiled, twisting his hand with green sigils like he was Doctor Strange, forcing the ball back into my hand. "Out of Verse shit." I nodded, rolling the ball in my hand as the wheel picked up speed. The ball went round and around and around- Did it just-? "It did indeed just duplicated, it has already determined the world we'll be pulling from, and the amount of-" He pauses, the wheel just... Stopping, the balls frozen in place in two different slots. "I dislike this result, but I'm a man of principle." I waited with baited breath. "Let's talk shop about what you've gained.
Worlds: 1 (The God of High School)
Blessings: 2 (Yongpyo & Custom Consumable Item)
Custom Consumable Item: (Jin Mori's Guide (Mind Palace edition))
Blessings: 2 (Yongpyo & Custom Consumable Item)
Custom Consumable Item: (Jin Mori's Guide (Mind Palace edition))
Quite frankly, I was stunned.
"One of the many worlds I've chosen to leave in, and it comes to bite me in the ass." He sighs, waving away the gambling, and we're back in the office sitting down. "I left that Consumable in as a joke item, amde the chances so astronomically low that no one would have a chance in hell to get it." I lean forward, resting my forehead against the cold, laqured, wood. "I get the feeling you'd dangle this infront of ignoramuses faces to get them tog amble their soul away." I hear Truth chukle. "Nailed it." Silently sighing at being right, I sit back up.
"If you want to, I'm fine with-" He raises a hand, doing something to silence me. "Cease that line of thought, you won those fair and square, besides, with what I have in mind now, you'll need it." I certainly didn't like the sound of that.
"Now, let me explain the Custom Item." I lean back in my chair, waiting for him to go on. "After this, I'm just removing it from the wheel, I'll think of something else to be a trap." That seemed reasonable. "Now, you know how in fiction people talk about Mind Palaces and all that, specifically with the whole Harry Potter Mind defense shit?" I nod. "Right well, that shit doesn't actually work or exist. You'd need an actual item or sub dimension for that to work." That is... Confusing, especially with the description of the Psycho Mind Transmission...
"Think of it more like the Jinchūriki Space, where Naruto and B talk tot heir Tailed beasts. You'll effectively gain you own Jinchūriki space that's a libary with 'Jin Mori's Guide'." That... Made a surprising amount of sense, not what I was expecting. "Yeah, and Jin Mori's guide has a guides for a lot of things, Maitreya got up to a lot of writing when bored..." Not going to question that.
"Now, Fair's fair, you earned it, and I'm going to give you the potential to actually use it, you just got to work towards it." Heh, neat. "Would be funny to see what fuckery you get yourself stuck in if you could..." I lean in, ready to pick pocket a potential idea. "No, I need to prevent that manual from spreading, so we're signing a Geas before you go and locking that shit down, ya hear?" I nod. Completely agreeing with not having the vulnerability of the techniques being stolen.
"Good, it'll only be in your head." He smiled, something about it seeming off. "We need to talk about where your going, but right before that Yongpyo. I'm removing it's ability to pick masters." I tilted my head, question implicit in my actions. "I rather not have that thing go rouge and join Madara or god forbid one of the Ōtsutsuki..." He shivered, and I couldn't help but agree that the Monkey Kings armor joining either or those people would entirely fuck me over. "Now, off you go!"
*SNAP*
And now, well, that's my 'Let's Do This One More Time' origin story.