Fruits and Berries [Star Wars, The Clone Wars]

[Maltacus]

Barriss Offee, murderer and traitor to the Galactic Republic and the Jedi Order, has escaped! As the dust settles over Coruscant the inconspicuous Foul Fish jumps to hyperspace and new opportunities with its precious catch.

Barriss Offee, the most talented healer the galaxy and more specifically Ahsoka Tano has seen in years, has been captured! The last and best hope for the scruffy-looking crew of bounty hunters is a raving lunatic with one foot in the dark side of the force.

Ahsoka Tano had everything planned out. She knew exactly what she would say and do once she got Barriss out and what she really thinks and feels about her former friend and nowadays...framer and betrayer? Or maybe she had rather very little at all planned out but here they are anyway in the middle of half a dozen madmen and -women armed to the teeth. The rogue battle droids included...

Set immediately after The Naughty Jedi.

 

[Maltacus]

Chapter 1. Welcome Aboard
Barriss Offee wakes up and cleans. I mean screams. At first.

The misfit crew of the Foul Fish introduces themselves and welcome their newest member.

Author's Note

Spoiler

As I understand it mirialan could refer to both the humanoid species native to the planet and the nationality of the yellowish fellows. I will go with mirialan used as species so with no capital M, unlike Mandalorian which refers to a nation – or what you should call it – rather than a species. Pantorans are even harder, I haven't completely decided on the spelling there.

So no dwelling on Meshif's origins, he is a handsome blue space captain and that is enough for all involved, or at least Scalwena and she will shoot anyone who disagrees.

---

Barriss Offee woke up with a scream.

She could not tell from what she woke up or why but she did find herself sweating and with her heart pounding like a hammer in her chest. She threw off her blanket – she had a blanket apparently – and grasped at the collar of her shirt to assure herself that she was not choking. Or more correctly the collar of her dull prison uniform.

She remembered that too now. She wore that because she was imprisoned, because she was dangerous and because she had killed.

She had killed so many times before because she served in the Republic Army and waged war. But this time it had been to stop the war and it had been wrong.

She was a jedi, a member of the order of knights that kept the peace and waged war. The order that people had said kept the peace and people saw waged war.

At the end of the day, maybe just the order that used the force and wielded lightsabers.

Barriss shivered. She was drenched in sweat so maybe it was no surprise. She wrapped that blanket around herself and took in her immediate surroundings.

It was a medical bay, a small one with two beds and reasonably clean.

Reasonably.

The equipment was pretty standard but Barriss had seen better ordered med' bays. She frowned. Why had whoever ran this one left bacta gel packs out in the open like that? Everyone knew they lasted longer and better if kept cool and dark, and besides it was only to ask for more contamination to leave any medical supplies outside of their right and proper containers. Barriss looked around on the table and when that turned out inconclusive, apart from sorting a few instruments, she proceeded to with the cabinet above. It was hardly in more impressive order than the table below.

Any decent person, and Barriss too, would find the state appalling.

She could just as well tidy up a tiny bit while she was sorting through her thoughts.

"What are you doing?"

Barriss turned around slowly. She held her hands out to her sides deliberately visible as she took in the sight in front of her.

Mandalorian.

The full body armour was literally just that, both heavy enough to nearly make her wince and irrefutably very elegant in its blue and silvery pattern of interlocking plate details. It was very obviously a female set of armour but the helmet with the hallmark T-shaped visor offered no clue to the wearer's identity. Whoever she was she held the silvery blaster aimed at Barriss' chest without any sign of a tremble, and there was something about her that hinted that removing the sidearm would only get you so far if you got on her bad side.

Barriss cleared her throat.

"I was just…"

"What?" The Mandalorian's voice was clear and could probably had been beautiful if it hadn't been for the extremely stern tone.

"Tidying up."

"You were tidying up?"

"Yes. Bacta should not be left in the open like this, and the scanner – you need to replace it, that model is confirmed to be unreliable – will need to be disinfected before you use it again."

There was a moment of silence during which Barriss had the feeling the other woman debated whether to think Barriss quite right in her head. She would not be unjustified in doing so.

"When waking up in a foreign environment and potentially as a captive, do you seriously mean to tell me that your first thought is to tidy up the room?"

"No, my first thought is more along something like this!"

Faster than the Mandalorian could hope to react, Barriss let the force flow into her and used it to wrench the blaster out of the blue hand and summon it into her own. The next second she screamed wildly in pain when her left leg gave out beneath her and she collapsed into a pile on the floor.

"Next time reach for something of use to you." The voice was dispassionate, dismissive even. Barriss caught a glimpse of her adversary bending down to pick the blaster back up. "And don't delude yourself into thinking your opponent will be nice and quiet just because you are the one with the gun."

The Mandalorian walked up to the medical cabinet and rounded Barriss who was busy clutching her shin and breathing through the pain. She was concentrating so on refocusing herself that she at first missed the litany of swearing coming down from above.

"…kriffing womprat-whumping…where are they?!" The Mandalorian was apparently rummaging through the medical supplies. "Hey, you may have had a point there, I give you that."

"About – ugh – what?"

"The lack of order in our med' bay. Oh, finally!"

Next thing Barriss found herself almost face to face with the expressionless blue helmet while a gauntleted hand was reaching for her injured leg. She recoiled reflexively form it.

"Easy there. This is just chill spray." She dangled the bottle demonstratively before Barriss' eyes. "Care to roll up that charming outfit for me?"

After another glance Barriss concluded that she probably had little in the ways of good options and did as she was told. The spray was by all accounts what it was supposed to be and she breathed out deeply from the wondrous feeling of soothing cold against her shin.

"Nothing broken." The Mandalorian noted. "This time. Seriously, go for my knife or something you are more familiar with, jedi. What's the point of being able to grab my side arm like that if you take ten times as long to get it up and actually shoot me?"

Barriss could only think of wincing in return. Now that she put it like that, and when Barriss was like this, it did in hindsight seem to have been a less than well-thought idea.

"Now, I have a crew to keep safe from harm and a ship to keep in one piece and I don't much care how I have to get it done so long as it gets done, clear? Meaning more precisely that if you so much as think of pulling another stunt like this you will look back on that –" She nodded at Barriss' leg "- with longing, so you will be on your best behaviour so long as you are staying onboard."

"Dibs on telling her to be a good girl!"

Another voice had come from somewhere outside the room. It was not muffled by a helmet and therefore easier to make out, and judging by the tone it was female and much merrier.

It was another Mandalorian warrior. Her armour was just as striking, but of a sleeker design with red plates over dark armourweave. Unlike her blue colleague, this woman carried her helmet under her arm and a widely smiling human face with a mess of blonde hair looked own on Barriss.

But behind her was Ahsoka Tano.

***​

"You dork, take your helmet off! You're gonna scare her." The red-armoured Mandalorian admonished.

"That is the general idea." It sounded like Barriss' antagonist would be smirking on the other side of her visor.

Barriss had only so much attention to waste on them at the moment.

"Ahsoka…?"

"Hello, Barriss." Ahsoka sounded unsure and it reminded Barriss that she had every reason to be so herself.

"Hey, don't hijack the introductions, you two already know each other. And Scallywag, take off your bloody helmet!"

"It. Is. Scalwena." When the blue helmet came off it revealed an annoyed human face glaring at her red counterpart.

"Proud first mate of the noble Foul Fish! And first – and only – mate of her proud captain but we'll get to that later. I am Rowena, quartermaster onboard. Or quartermistress when I want to sound more intimidating."

"And you talk too much." Scalwena added.

Barriss blinked. 'Scallywag'? The 'Foul Fish'? Who named a ship like that?

"If you don't want to bother it's just Red and Blue." Ahsoka interjected and Barriss thought the togrutan sounded a bit amused, so maybe the situation was less dangerous than the heavily armed and armoured presence suggested. "They're kind of obvious."

"You shut your trap, Peaches." Rowena grinned back at Ahsoka.

Peaches?

This was getting weirder and weirder.

"Ten credits on one of you having started a fight." A fourth new voice was accompanied by a slight clanking.

The zeltron who stepped inside was – what had Master Unduli called it – rakish. Mischievous eyes partly covered by long hair on one side and a sharp smile over a sharper goatee.

"Honestly, am I the only civilised member of the crew who remembers to knock these days?" He proceeded to – of all things – bow with a deep flourish in the middle of the now rather cramped floor next to the door. "Telash, at your service. Already kicked to the floor? So, which one was it?"

"What, wait, did you…?" Rowena looked suspiciously between Scalwena and Barriss. "The rest of us hadn't even introduced ourselves for kriffs sake!"

"She started it."

"Hold up, who started what?" Ahsoka interrupted.

"I kicked her shin." Scalwena waved the question away. "Just a minor disagreement."

"Minor disagreement?!"

"She tried to grab my blaster!"

Rowena whistled and started to chuckle while Ahsoka rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Quite the feisty one, isn't she? You're gonna have to teach her to behave, sister." The red Mandalorian looked like she was close to breaking out in laughter, for some incomprehensible reason.

"Be quiet and stop calling me sister." Scalwena muttered absently, like it was part of a well-known routine. "That only fools idiots who can look no further than to our height and hair colour."

"It's a term of endearment. No one puts up with me like you do –"

"Because I do not."

"– and we are sisters-in-battle and partners-in-crime!"

"And also what is supposed to resemble a crew of debatably professional bounty hunters." Scalwena cleared her throat and the rest quieted. "If we can return to business? I suppose I should take the hint by our second resident red menace and welcome you formally onboard, Barriss Offee. As you probably have guessed we intercepted your prison transport on Coruscant and broke you out."

"The clones, did they –" Barriss blurted out.

"Alive and well, as per our client's request." Scalwena was eyeing her quietly for a moment with one eyebrow raised. "The same goes for anyone else involved."

"Do you have any objection if I get up now?" Barriss found herself asking and Scalwena gestured with ironic hospitality that she could take her place standing by the nearby table. Her leg still hurt but it had gone down a little.

"Now, from what I have seen on each and every other holo channel lately I take it that you are no stranger to the applications of certain kinds of small-size explosives. Am I correct?"

Scalwena had not raised her voice but everything about her had shifted. There was nothing flippant left in the air around them now.

"You are."

"Then I would like to draw your attention to the small needle-mark on your right arm. I hope it does not sting overly much."

Now that she said it… Barriss stretched out to feel herself with the force. She was not imagining things, there was a tiny puncture mark on her that was quite fresh.

"Our stock may not be as refined as yours but I can assure you that what you carry inside is more than adequate. The payload is not nearly enough to cause damage to the ship or anyone else outside your immediate proximity. But. Stray too far away from the triggering device onboard and you can look forward to running away with one less arm. Jam the signal or let it be jammed by something else and you can look forward to the same. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes –"

"No!" Ahsoka shouted. "What the freaking force do you think you're doing?!

"Everything I need in order to protect my crew."

Ahsoka's eyes were widening. They were honestly big enough as they were most days. Barriss had many times found it hard not to be distracted by her own reflection in the pupil.

"Nano bots? Scalwena, what the actual –" Rowena only got so far.

"Silence! Both of you! Quartermaster, you will listen to orders. Client Tano, our business is not yet fully concluded and I will not be robbed of my prize prematurely because some dark side brat suddenly decided to act out and got herself shot in the process!"

Barriss did honestly not know what she should have expected when waking up like this. What could you realistically expect in the astronomically unrealistic event that you would one day find yourself free form – or at least outside – the concrete holes deepest inside the Republic's military headquarters? Not another chance. Not some form of redemption of a jedi tale of the glory days of the Old Republic.

More of the same? That would be Barriss' bet.

"So, I hope whoever is the bidder at least paid you well. Dare I ask how much I am worth? Or will it be some form of auction?"

"The buyer is me, and you are payment, Barriss Offee."

What.

The.

Kriffing.

What?

Telash pinched the ridge of his nose and Ahsoka gaped while Rowena clutched her mouth with both hands and looked mostly like some form of power cell overheating. Something was seriously out of place.

"Not like that, First Mate." Telash groaned. "That was deliciously ominous and all but…phrasing. Now you have to explain yourself before she gets too caught up in the prospect of ending up like the toy of bored human-pantoran couples who wants to branch out."

"What the actual…" Scalwena glared at him, and then at Rowena beside her. "Oh, for goodness' sake! Are you bloody serious for one minute each?!"

When Rowena only answered by exploding in laughter the blue-clad first mate pushed her unceremoniously into the wall with a resounding clang. It dampened the laughter but did not stop it.

"Alright, just shut up!" Scalwena turned back to her and Barriss almost thought she looked reasonable now. Everything was relative, she supposed. "Ahsoka Tano provided a down payment and her insight and expertise before and during the operation. She has upheld her personal end of the bargain. What she promised, and what I intend to collect on, is your end. And I require one thing from you and one thing only."

Barriss noted that Rowena had ceased laughing. The red Mandalorian was back on her feet and looking at her intensely. Why?

"Barriss Offee, I need you to heal my best friend."

Now Barriss was sure that she was the one gaping like a very confused fish.

Rowena smiled a half smile at her and then slowly winked.

"Hellooo, Nurse!"

***​

It was four hours later in ship's time which meant bed time for the starboard watch. Scalwena stretched out her legs from the comfortable resting place in the middle of two blue arms. Really comfortable. Every girl should have one. But they had better get their own.

She yawned. Hijacking max security prison transports was tiring work. Too many variables.

"The holonet news have been boiling over these last hours…" Scalwena ignored the topic in favour of the sensation of the hot breath against her ear. "But it positively paled in comparison to the ship's intercom drama I found myself listening in on."

"Mhmm…subscribe for the next episode tomorrow…" Scalwena mumbled.

"You are that sure nothing will explode onboard before then?" Meshif, Captain of the Foul Fish and Rugged Scoundrel Extraordinaire teased.

"Telash and Rowena are on guard."

"And that is supposed to reassure me how exactly?"

"We'll deal with it tomorrow, honey. I just want some sleep."

"Sorry darling, I have one more question. Captain's orders." Scalwena leaned back and looked up into his face upside down. Meshif stroked along her eyebrows and held her head steady. He had better hurry up with that bothersome question before she drifted off now. "Have you seriously actually planted nano bot ordinance inside the one person we hope can fix Red?"

"Of course not…" Scalwena felt her eye lids grow heavier. "The pin prick is from a blood sample to check her for infections… I wouldn't trust our guts to the Republic Military's dungeons' level of cleanliness."

"And presumably you told neither our esteemed peachy togrutan nor the port watch of that?"

"Petty details… And their reactions were needed to sell it. I can explain later. If she actually succeeds I will even apologise to her."

"If she succeeds you will kiss her foot. And I the other one."

"She…has…to…" It was suddenly hard to talk. Hard to breathe steadily. Hard to do anything on your own when your throat choked like that.

"She has to."

 

[Maltacus]

Chapter 2: Doctor Offee
The doctor is in.

Author's Note

Spoiler

Rowena is feeling pretty down about her chronic injury and in this chapter confesses to her new chief medical officer that there are times when she would just like to end it all. But don't worry about her, she won't. She has her crew with her, nowadays including Dr. Offee. And once Bariss gets to work it won't be a recurring thing in the story either.

Beroya = The Mandalorian word for bounty hunter, or what the rest of the galaxy usually refers to as bounty hunter.

---

To say that Bariss Offee had a hard time relaxing would be an understatement.

Ahsoka was here. On this ship.

She had been sprung out of jail. Or custody, or whatever term you preferred.

Right from under the nose of the Republic Army.

How could this, this chaotic and incoherent crew have succeeded with something like that?

And Ahsoka avoided her.

Maybe that was for the best. She was justified in doing so, to say the least.

Bariss had been given a personal cabin even. She would not have been surprised if she ended up in a brig or consigned to the medical facilities where they apparently harboured some wild hope that she would make herself useful and provide…what, exactly? How was this Rowena injured and why did they specifically want Bariss for it? Or perhaps more specifically someone with the skills they attributed to her, right or wrong.

Bariss had not felt like meditating much lately so she had tried the universally acclaimed technique of pacing restlessly, until she concluded that her cabin was too small to be suitable for that. Otherwse it was rather well kept and with high standards, almost bordering on luxurious for being a freighter or armed transport, or whatever this 'Foul Fish' counted as. There was a table and drawers or some kind of storage compartments along one of the walls. She had a proper bed rather than a bunk, and a shared bathroom she wouldn't have to walk out through the corridor to reach. The living quarters were centred along the same path in the middle of the ship, a corridor that led out into a common dining area and general deposit of leftover objects.

Master Luminara would have had a fit if she saw the state of it.

Bariss had almost contemplated going out and tidying up a little bit before she got a hold of herself.

She was searching for distractions instead of adressing the core problem, Master Luminara would have noted, dryly and dispassionately.

Well, Bariss wasn't her padawan any longer! And it wasn't too damn easy to even determine what was the core problem for her right now. So maybe she could just start with the most obvious one and try to find out what was actually expected of her by the crew.

Bariss opened her door.

"Rowena? Do you have some time to spare?" Bariss asked the red Mandalorian who was deceptively relaxed lounging in the common area where she incidentally had an excellent view of the adjoining corridor.

"Certainly. Are the accomodations not to My Lady's satisfaction?"

"What – no. I mean yes, thay are, but that wasn't what I wanted to ask about."

"I would like to say 'shoot' but I don't want the rest of the crew to miss all the fun. Okay, what's the matter?"

"I would like to know more about what you all expect me to accomplish. Would it suit you to give me a brief overview of what you need a jedi healer for?"

Bariss cursed inwardly. She always seemed to express herself so stilted, or overly complex, when something was bothering her.

"Sure thing. Wanna sit here?" Rowena indicated the seats around her.

"I thought we could be in my cabin. If that is alright? For the privacy."

That was how doctors with a clinic did, right? You avoided discussing sensitive personal information in public areas. Granted, you also mostly provided more comfortable seating for your patients than the edge of a bed and the bench on the opposite side of it.

"You want to check me up?" The way Rowena said it somehow made it sound like check me out.

"Let us start with a consultation first." Bariss pointed at the other seat. "Can we sit down here?"

"Sure." Rowena sat down and waited expectantly, Bariss realised. But for what?

"Uhm, you are free to begin…?"

"Aren't you going to say something first? Something medic-ly."

Bariss blinked.

"Like what, for instance?"

"Something like 'please state the nature of the medical emergency' or something?"

"Okay… Please state the nature of the medical emergency, Miss Rowena. But as I understand it we are talking about a chronic problem rather than an emergency requiring acute treatment?"

"Yeah…" Rowena slumped and stared down into the table. "Well. I guess you'll want to hear everything from the beginning and onward?"

"That is most often the best. Please take your time and be as detailed as you can."

"Beroya. That is what we are. Bounty hunters, mercenaries, hired guns. Call it whatever you wish. I am not an especialy good girl, in no way. But there are bounty hunters and there are bounty hunters… I once flew with one that was – is – very good, but also one of the very worst. A blue kriffing…it doesn't matter."

"Wait, sorry, can I get a data pad? Or something else to write on?"

Rowena opened the door.

"Telash!" she yelled.

"What?!" Telash shouted back from the galley.

"Data pad! Fetch!"

In response something spun through the air into the room. Rowena caught the pad expertly in its flight without any hassle and handed it over to Bariss.

"You're welcome!" the zeltron added with a meaningful tone.

"Aren't you going to say 'thank you'?" Bariss wondered.

"Nah, I'll save it for later. You have to learn to take advantage of the little things in life, like annoying your friends when you can."

"Thank you, Telash!" Bariss called out at least.

"See how easy common decency is, Red?! You should listen and learn!"

"Decency is overrated." Rowena stated dismissively. "Are you good to go, Doc'?" she asked Bariss.

"Yes, sure, please continue. You said you worked with a particularly unpleasant bounty hunter?"

"That doesn't even come far in describing him but…anyway. One day he did something even I in my greedy, lousy heart did not approve of and I did something he didn't approve of. And…he was faster than me. Shot me. Many times. Armour caught it, but…I was on the ground. On my belly. And he…shot me one more time." Rowena was moving her right hand about, fiddling with nothing at all in a frantic way.

"Take the time you need." Bariss assured her.

"You might have seen that my armour leaves some spots open. He shot me in the back. His high-power blaster cut through the armourweave between two plates and…cut my spine in half. I couldn't feel my legs. Couldn't walk. Couldn't rise. He watched me being helpless like that. Would probably have laughed if it was something he did." Rowena looked around, maybe for something to drink. "And then, well, Scalwena happened. She pumped me full of bacta and hauled my sorry ass to safety. It cost her. She took a hit right over her head, from the ship's cannons…because he came after us with those after she chased him off, yeah… A pinch lower and it would have fried her skull. Now it just fried her hair and skin. Didn't heal properly..."

Bariss was writing every single word down as thoroughly as she was able. She had always done her best to be thorough. That hadn't changed even when so much else had.

"You've seen how Scalwena keeps the back of her head covered by that braid pattern of hers? That's all thanks to me and my bad taste in business partners."

"Her braid? I hadn't, honestly."

"You hadn't? Kriff… Just pretend you never heard about it either, then."

"Rowena, we should return to your spine, shouldn't we?"

"Well… Meshif picked us up and Scalwena threw me into the medical bay and sped for the first shady back-alley surgeon she could find. The first of many, and a good number of reputable ones that were to follow. They knew how to spear me with syringes and stuff me full of more bacta and metal parts to keep my spine in one place. Might have ended up making a droid out of me."

"But it didn't ever heal properly, did it?" Bariss asked cautiously.

Rowena took her time answering.

"I can walk around. I can fight, if I grit my teeth and snarl through the pain. I can keep a straight face outside for I don't let myself or anybody else do otherwise. Then there are those days…those days when I'm close to reaching for my own blaster. But don't tell Scalwena."

Bariss put the data pad down and looked firmly at the Mandalorian.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but if a member of the crew is repeatedly having suicidal thoughts there are very few fleets according to whose regulations doctor-patient confidentiality would still prevent the chief medical officer from informing her commanding officer!"

"Alright, alright! Easy there, Doc'… Hey, you our chief medical officer now?"

"I can certainly not count on anyone else relieving me of my duties anytime soon. You lot had me drafted into this so you will only have yourselves to blame."

That, of all things, had Rowena smiling at her. Bariss looked suspiciously back.

"I don't think there's much I can tell you of how it actually looks, you know, back there."

"Do you have any medical records? Reports from the doctors you saw?"

"Heh… No-questions-asked tends to go hand-in-hand with no-records-kept for most people. As for the more legitimate ones…" she shrugged "…they are more like receipts than anything else."

Bariss made a disapproving sound. She should have expected something like that.

"Very well. I will look through whatever is to be found, with your permission."

"Bariss? Can… Can you do it? Do you think you could…" Gone was the veiled bitterness and the casual veneer of the red bounty hunter.

"I don't know." When Rowena's face looked like it was about to fall Bariss held up a hand to preempt it. "The Force isn't like a miracle cure you administer like bacta spray everywhere you like. I will need to know exactly what I am doing and what I am supposed to be doing, and I will take whatever conventional equipment and medicine I can get my hands on to help. First thing I'm going to do is turn your sorry excuse for a medical bay over and see what I have at my disposal. Can you get a medical droid, maybe? I could use some assistance, I think."

"We're almost broke. Or very broke right now I suppose. Scalwena spent our last credits and then some on my attempted recovery. That was why we were going to establish ourselves in Coruscant and the core worlds. But…maybe?"

Bariss frowned. There was still so much context she did not get.

"You are really broke?"

"Daring rescues don't come cheaply these days." Rowena smiled wryly and shrugged. "Two thirds of the ship are inoperable. We've had to sell off some painfully high tech defenses and shut down everything but the vital central sections. A shame. I could have showed you our training ring otherwise."

"I suppose I'll…just have to work with what I have until further notice. And you should really think about counselling too. Psychological traumas should never be dismissed or neglected just because they are connected to a physical trauma. Do you at least have someone you can talk to?"

"Maybe my new doctor who seems to put up with me so valiantly?" When Bariss looked disapproving Rowena in fact did become serious again. "I do talk to my crewmates. Sometimes. And Scalwena mostly, but it always ends with us two arguing about whose fault each and every thing was and I can't stand that. I don't want to drag her down."

"Do you always bicker like that? Like earlier today, I mean?"

"Mmm, yes?"

"May the Force be with us…"

***​

"Hey, Peaches?!"

Ahsoka was lying on her back and staring into the ceiling when Rowena barged inside. This open door mentality of the Foul Fish took some getting used to.

"What is it?"

"Can I talk to you?" Rowena continued without waiting for an answer. "How's she doing it? Your friend, how the heck is she doing it?"

"Bariss? How is she doing what?"

"Make people talk. Interrogate."

"Interrogate? Bariss doesn't interrogate people." Ahsoka answered reflexively before she remembered herself. "At least she didn't used to do any of that stuff. Can you elaborate a little?"

"Bariss asked me to sit down and give her an overview of what she's up against, with my spine and all. And I thought fine, makes sense. And next thing I know I'm sitting there gushing and spilling out my whole tragic past like some holo hero with a saucy twi'lek on the bedside! Is that a jedi mind trick you use or something?"

Jedi mind trick?

"Bariss would never use the Force on someone she considered her patient in such a way! Or…previously she wouldn't, anyway. I don't really know her like I used to think I did…"

"It's spooky, that's what it is…"

"Did you tell her something you regret? Because if you asked her I think she would agree to keep it between you two and not bring up again. If it's not directly connected to your injury."

"Eeeh… It's not like the rest of the crew doesn't know everything already. But…just…damn! It's the eyes, I'm sure of it! Those innocent, calm big blue things that makes you drop your guard completely. You two make quite the pair in that regard."

Ahsoka cleared her throat and tried to ignore how flustered that compliment made her.

"Bariss Offee used to be a very good listener and extremely patient." Ahsoka suggested gently. "It is kind of her thing. Maybe it is as simple as that?"

"Hm. She should really make a neat medic then. All the better for me, I suppose, if she's this good at her profession." Rowena's expression shifted to more thoughtful. She was so, Ahsoka wanted to say lively but it didn't quite describe it. Open, perhaps. She emanated an energy and warmth that made it hard to take your eyes off her.

Then there was of course that striking and very form-fitting armour of hers that probably accentuated her striking figure. Or so Ahsoka guessed. She was hardly an expert on any fashion beyond clone trooper armour and jedi robes.

"Can I ask you something else? Dreadfully prying?"

"Something tells me you're going to do that no matter what." Ahsoka smirked.

"Damn right. What I can't wrap my head around is that on one hand, we have our new neat and dainty Nurse Bariss who sits and listens ever so sweetly to your heart's desires. On the other hand she is some kind of lunatic who bombed your jedi temple? You see what I'm getting at?"

Ahsoka knew perfectly well what she was getting at.

"I don't have an answer. None of us expected her to do anything of this kind ever. Never saw it coming. She loved being a healer, for kriffs sake!"

"If none of you expected her to be capable of it, would you have known to look for the right signs?"

"That's –" Ahsoka stopped. "That is a fair point."

Rowena shrugged.

"When you frequent the Outer Rim you run into a great deal of people who would have no qualms about chucking a thermal detonator just about anywhere for just about any kinds of reasons. There's no 'type' who would or would not ever do that. There are however those who would do it just because, and those who would have a very specific reason – be it good or bad – and your moody mirialan definitely strikes me as the latter variety."

Ahsoka was frowning. Her Mandalorian quartermaster, and sort of friend, could act like a brainless bimbo only to be uncannily perceptive the very next moment. Ahsoka had a feeling that what Rowena had described in some way was key to understanding Bariss. Even if no one else saw more than a jedi fallen to evil and to the dark side, there would be a reasoning behind her actions. Somewhere, there would be a reasoning.

"I…I need to think about this."

"Pfff. Isn't simple thinking beneath the jedi? You 'meditatate' on important quetions, don't you?"

"Nope, in this case I really need to 'think' think. I think."

"There's a difference?"

"Wha- Of course there's a difference. The point of meditation is to open yourself to guidance from the Force. The point of thinking is to reason clearly avout the present facts."

"What did they teach you about 'daydreaming' and 'fantasicing' and their goals?"

"That is not covered by the jedi training." Ahsoka said primly.

"We can work on that. Sure you don't want to just take the bantha by the horns and have The Talk with her?"

"I'm not ready. And I think we should both at the very least sleep on everything first."

"Spoilsport. Let me know if you change your mind. And please hide your lightsabers beforehand in the interest of containing any potential domestic quarrel damages."

"This isn't a domestic quarrel!"

Rowena flashed her a stunning smirk and Ahsoka rolled her eyes.

"Well, if not, we could always pass the time with a holo drama or two. It would be delightully awkward – me and you and Bariss on either side seated in reverence before a raunchy jedi classic."

Ahsoka couldn't help snorting at the description.

"I'll have to take the offer up some other time."

"Suit yourself."

When Rowena was just about to walk out of the room Ahsoka halted her.

"Are there really such things as raunchy jedi holo dramas?"

The red Mandalorian winked at her.

"Much to learn you still have, young padawan. Just wait until I introduce you to my collection of Jedi Illustrated…"

 

[Maltacus]

Chapter 3: Like A Second Skin

The Foul Fish grows ever weirder.

Click to shrink...

"So what did I miss?" Scalwena yawned over a cup of caf in the kitchen. The kitchen was next to the galley and only Telash knew where the border between them went and why.

"I had an appointment with the Chief Medical Officer and hung out with Peaches afterwards." Rowena yawned back just as mightily.

"Chief Medical Officer?"

"I am quartermaster and consequently in charge of crew details."

"Most would define your role as being in charge of everyday details of our current crew's daily routines but whatever… So long as she can fix you she can be Inter-Galactic Empress for all I care."

"Dr. Offee recommended we talk. I think. Seriously."

"She's 'Doctor Offee' now, whose orders we are going to heed? Not 'Nurse Bariss' to pester with inane catcalls?"

"No, I mean yes, she totally is. You should see her, real professional and all. Like a military medic but…gentler?"

Scalwena cast her a sly look.

"Gentler, is it? You know you're talking about the same person who reputedly killed a squad's worth of her own side's troops, right?"

"I know! And that's what's bugging me so much! I talked to Peaches about it but she's none the wiser than me."

"People can be pretty two-faced sometimes… But you're right, we're gonna be in for a tense day. I guess I'll nose about that some more with our dear client. I hope she rises before our new doctor."

"Early riser? Ahsoka?"

Rowena was fighting to keep down a chuckle and Scalwena shrugged, smiling back. Ahsoka Tano was many things, and Scalwena was maybe even secretly starting to like her, but an early riser she was not. The togrutan's unwillingness to get out of bed was fast becoming legendary onboard the Foul Fish.

"I will have to do my best. Maybe she'll bite if I offer to let her pilot for a while."

"You'd trust her to?"

"I think so. I mean, it's in her own interest to keep things friendly too. She's a fugitive just as much as we and our bes thope is mutual silence. Besides, any confrontation with her lightsabers will tear the ship apart so I'd rather project supreme confidence instead to dissuade her from even thinking about it."

"I think she likes us."

"Careful." Scalwena couldn't quite say if she meant Rowena or herself, or both of them. "We are far from out of this yet."

"We have cookies."

"We don't."

"Meshif moved them again?!" Rowena's face had fallen.

"It's for our own good, unfortunately. So I'll have to maintain the peace onboard through less exquisite means."

Rowena stifled another yawn.

"Please hurry. I'd love to get back to quarterly night shifts any day. See you at noon."

Scalwena ate slowly while thinking over what the day would bring. The artificial ship's day, of course. They still had a lot of time in hyperspace left and the Coruscantian time would linger until they disembarked somewhere entirely different.

The past days were catching up with her. She'd like to put everything on hold and just do nothing – maybe together with Rowena who was the undisputed master of that – for at least half a week. Instead she had to wake an equally unenthusiastic ex-jedi and drag what useful details she could about Bariss Offee out of her.

Ahsoka's door was unlocked and Scalwena knocked very considerately the first time. It yielded as little result as she had expected and after an inconsiderate second knock had failed equally Scalwena opened up and reflexively dodged to the side as certain experiences aboard the Foul Fish had taught her to.

Far from waiting with a throwable object however, the togrutan was lying face-first into her pillow and snoring with one leg hanging outside the bed. It was enough to make Scalwena feel slightly bad about what she was about to do.

"Hey, Peaches? It's morning again."

"Gzm…" Ahsoka mumbled something unintelligible.

"My thoughts exactly. But it's still morning."

"You are all evil…legions of early morning people…" Ahsoka grumbled adorably into her pillow.

"There's a large bowl of fake bantha milk waiting for you in the kitchen. Industrial-grade sludge. And artificial cereals of every colour of rainbows and nebulas."

"With sugar?"

"Extra sugar."

"Oaaaeeoh…" This was growing to be the morning of monstrous yawns, Scalwena noted. "C'min…"

Whatever eating habits the jedi order or the clone armies had instilled had quickly yielded to the worst that a perpetually disordered galley of culinary criminals and heretics could spit out. Strictly speaking only Meshif was worth his salt when it was his turn to cook something civilised for them, although that had not stopped Scalwena from banning the use of the mispronouncing of his name as 'My-Chef'.

The togrutan poured a mountain of dubious flakes with indifference and viewed a spoonful of sugar drowsily as if measuring how much would be appropriate, until turning it upside-down. Scalwena found her taste for copious amounts of their junk food almost fascinating. She calmly counted down from twenty inside her head.

At seven, the togrutan engines had fired up.

"Good morning to you too, Scalwena…" Ahsoka added between to spoonfuls. "Is Bariss awake?"

"Not that I know of. I wanted to talk to you about her."

"I figured. What about?"

"Can I be blunt enough to ask you right out – are you two friends as of now?"

Ahsoka put down her spoon and looked at the table before them.

"I honestly don't know what we are. I thought – hoped – that I would know what to say or at least what to ask, and maybe how to make, I don't know, something better. But I don't. I understand if that is not what you expected to hear."

"What is it really that lies between the two of you?"

"She had the jedi temple's hangar bombed, she killed her co-conspirator in front of my eyes, she killed Republican soldiers and had me framed for it! She attacked me with Assaj Ventress' damned lightsabers!"

Ahsoka's voice had risen and she apparently noticed it and breathed deeply to calm herself down again. Scalwena whistled quietly.

"So what happened? Then, I mean."

"The jedi council wouldn't listen to me. Nobody listened to me except Master Skywalker and Senator Amidala. He exposed her. Then Bariss confessed everything in front of the senate and I was released. That's when I walked out of the order."

"She confessed. Why? You jedi aren't supposed to coerce people into that, are you?"

"No! No, of course not! I don't quite get it. Maybe she knew the game was up. Master Skywalker had found Ventress' lightsabers in her quarters."

"Proving…what? That she liked the colour red all of a sudden? That she had taken to robbing famous former separatist agents?"

"I know. Telash said something of the same. And maybe Padmé did too. It can't be that simple, it's ridiculous. And Bariss is not a simple person."

"Padmé?"

"Senator Amidala. I stayed with her for a few days, when I met you. She's terribly nice."

"Rowena and Telash think she's cute."

"Oh, uhm, I guess she is…"

"Anyway, can I leave you and Bariss unsupervised do you think? I'd like to hope that we can keep things less dramatic today and get back to something more bearable when it comes to schedules. These night shifts are going to be a kriffing hell for us in the long run and we are likely going to need to work soon."

"Yes. Yes, I'll do it."

"Would you mind putting your sabers away before? There's something about jedi and those things…"

"They are very important to us. But we should not rely on our lightsabre to be our answer to every problem either. Or, a jedi shouldn't…"

"Ahsoka…" Scalwena wasn' sure she should involve herself this much, but on the other hand they were all already tangled in these togrutan-mirialan relations anyway and ultimately it affected the ship and crew's safety. "If the jedi philosophy still appeals to you, does something prevent you from embracing it even though you left the order?"

"Huh. Not strictly speaking, but…" She was quiet for a moment. "I feel like I don't know what I am anymore. Not a jedi, so I shouldn't pretend to be one. Not anyhing else either."

"Does that invalidate the jedi way of thinking? That you left the order?"

"No. I wouldn't say it does."

"And it didn't seem like it either when you insisted on a non-lethal extraction. It would be a pretty unimpressive code if the only reason anyone adhered to it was just because they were in the jedi order, no?"

"Do you think I should keep following the jedi code?"

"I think you should live your life according what you believe is right by yourself, not what someone else believes is right. Whether you end up following the code or anything else must be your own decision. And that you should talk to the port watch if you want someone to deconstruct jedi philosophies with. I also believe that I will put you and Bariss in charge of tidying up the med' bay and make inventory of what we have and what we need to get for her to start working for real. That ought to keep you occupied for a while and if you find an opening to clear the air I suppose you'd better take it."

"Will do. Hey, if Bariss gets to be Chief Medical Officer I want a rank too."

Ahsoka was actually grinning at her.

"If you do some good I might let you co-pilot if the Captain allows it too. So long as you keep in mind that you are in fact not a jedi any longer."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You were Anakin Skywalker's padawan after all. He has something of a publicly known…track record."

"Wait, he's a great pilot, we –" The togrutan's cheeks darkened to a deeper shade of orange. "– we always crash…yeah…"



***



Bariss had finally got to meet Meshif, the ship's captain. A quick greeting and introduction over breakfast, that was. The tall pantoran was curiously collected compared to the rest of the, well, compulsively witty parts of the crew. And tall.

And blue, because pantorans were and it was a stupid thing to note. But it was rather striking when he sat next to Scalwena in her blue armour.

Scalwena did not trust her.

That was obvious and that was also to be expected but it had stuck in Bariss' thoughts for some reason. When she searched through her mind she concluded that possibly it was the simple fact that outside Republic soldiers and jedi, these bounty hunters were the first people she had spoken to after she had spoken in the senate.

They were both invested, due to the deal with Ahsoka that stipulated that Bariss would help Rowena, and impartial, since they had no direct ties to either the Republic, its soldiers or the jedi.

Ahsoka though, she was much more than that. She was the reason Bariss was here instead of in a durasteel hole or worse, and she also had every reason to hate Bariss.

And they were supposed to put this medical bay in order together.

It felt unreal.

They took things out, inspected, catalogued and cleaned things up and put them back again in better order. They, or Bariss in any case, formed a gradually growing picture of the resources available in the facility.

And all the while her own anxiety festered and Ahsoka must be noticing it for she was becoming stiffer and stiffer and their forced and painfully down-to-bare-necessities conversation was only becoming more forced. Grating.

She would give anything for an interruption.

"This is the captain speaking. We are coming out of hyperspace in twenty seconds." Meshif's voice sounded from the internal communications speaker.

Bariss blinked. Had she imagined it? No, a glance at Ahsoka confirmed that she was just as surprised as Bariss.

The ship shook slightly as they transitioned into real space again but other than that neither of them knew anything of what was going on until Scalwena poked her head inside.

"We are shedding skin. Wanna come have a look?"

Shed skin?

"Do you know what this is about?" Bariss asked Ahsoka before she could remember how awkward they were.

"Not a clue. I guess we better find out."

Bariss followed Ahsoka out and after Scalwena. The medical bay was situated by the upper of two corridor-like passages through what Bariss guessed was the midsection of the ship. The upper one led to the bridge – actually the lower one did too but through a ladder – while the lower deck held all the living quarters. There were several doors on the upper deck Bariss had no knowledge of and would not test her luck asking about.

The bridge of the Foul Fish was uncharacteristically spacious for whatever class of ship Bariss expected her to be – some form of repurposed military transport or light freighter came to mind – and had seats for five operators and two or three people seated around a holo table that likely housed some form of tactical or navigational interface. The area was terraced with the pilots placed slightly lower than the two seats behind them and the rearmost operator and tactical interface another step higher.

"Hello there. Curious what this is about?" Meshif offered a bit of a lopsided grin from the pilot's seat below."

"Scalwena said something about shedding skin?" Ahsoka asked with a frown.

"Exactly. Like some reptiles and insects do from time to time. Look out on the starboard side –" He typed some form of command into the controls, one of those that meant passing a good deal of confirmations and double-checks. "– now."

The distant whirring of machinery and clanking of heavy metal parts against one another sounded from other parts of the vessel. Then it shuddered like the weight distribution had been altered or something like that, and Meshif fired stabilizing thrusters to move them slightly to port.

Bariss discreetly looked around, and mostly at Ahsoka. She was as clueless as Bariss felt while the crew looked on calmly.

"There it goes." Telash said almost lamenting. "I put a lot of effort into that hull." he added with insincere petulance.

"A true work of rusty art." Meshif confirmed dryly.

"The small details are the key, I will have you know! The 'Mossy Amedda' is one of my finest creations."

"Pardon, would someone like to explain a little?" Ahsoka asked.

"Certainly. Lights on if you please, Captain." Telash took the centre of the bridge like an actor taking the stage while Meshif activated search lights that illuminated…a ships hull. Or parts of it.

"What you see is just what you think you are seeing. One half of Foul Fish hull complete with windows, conceptually dubious power couplings, gizmos and rusted plating. The second half is due to join it." Another series of clanks followed. "And behold, we are now no longer the passenger liner the 'Mossy Amedda' but again the smoothly nefarious 'Foul Fish'!"

Telash gestured magnanimously towards the windows of the bridge.

"Sensor jamming, signature masking, old weequay yarns – they will only get you so far eventually. But if your well-known ship is supposed to be black and spotless and you show up with a gnarly piece of Mandalorian abstract art even the most dull-witted customs agent will start to think twice about what he believes himself to be seeing in his registry. And all sorts of disgruntled individuals have a nostalgic predisposition for their own security footage when sending their thugs after random ships that may or may not have crossed their paths in completely coincidental and unrelated ways."

"You actually…make new hulls? Regularly?" Ahsoka sounded disbelieving.

"More or less. Well, the outermost layer. The actual hull is not part of it, the cosmetics are held in place by clamps spread out across the surface. It's quite elegant in its simplicity."

"Welding that rusty pile of bantha droppings is not 'elegant' work." Rowena muttered. "Just saying."

"The 'Mossy Amedda'?" Bariss found herself asking.

"Yeah…we had some surplus blue paint and a bit of cheap-looking chrome pipes…"

Bariss snorted with laughter and to her surprise Ahsoka was doing the same. It was like a glimmer of a better time quickly passing by.

"So now if anyone i wondering we are no longer mossy and do not make unconstitutional amendments." Rowena summed up.

"How's the medical bay looking?" Meshif asked with his eyes fixed on the navigational systems.

"Ahem, we have made some progress." Bariss answered, slightly unsure of herself and how much to say. "I estimate that we will have made a full inventory within a day."

"And?" Meshif sounded a little bit meaningful from down there in the pilot's seat. "Don't hold back, because we have a course to plot and your needs are going to determine it, Doctor. If you know of some hardware you need us to get, now would be the time rather than later."

Bariss cleared her throat.

"Yes, Captain. Now that you bring it up I think it would be possible to set up a stationary medical scanner and there are disinfecting units available for smaller irregular workspaces, such as medical bays, that may be prudent to look into acquiring as well, and if I am going to operate then the critical area - I estimate roughly half of the medical bay - must be sealed off from contamination and sterilised before procedures, and -"

"Whoa! Cut your thrusters, Doc'! Typing as fast as I can here!" Telash called out while frantically typing and trying to keep up with her on a data pad in front of him.

Yes. Bariss had that slight tendency of getting further ahead of her audience, as master Luminara had put it. She wasn't always very good at reading people, unless it was their symptoms she was reading.

Or to tell the truth, she was rarely very good at reading people.

Except for Ahsoka.

"My apologies, Captain. And...what is your designation onboard, Mister Telash?"

"One could be led to wonder..." Rowena smirked.

"Self-appointed know-it-all, elite ace extraordinaire, wooer or untold - and unspecified - legions...the list is long..." Scalwena matched her red colleague.

"Bah, pay them no heed. Chief Engineer Telash, at your service." Telash made another flamboyant bow. "Though 'Master Chief' will do nicely as well if you prefer so. And you simians -" he turned to the unperturbed Mandalorian women "-are free to adress me merely as 'Sir' if you prefer a less...syllable-intensive workout that may threaten to overwhelm your primitive cerebral functions!"

Bariss' logical mind processed and came to conclusions before her person-reading part of her mind had finished computing whether it was such a good idea.

"But, would not a position of Chief Engineer imply that there are more than one engineer in a crew?"

"Haaaaa!" Rowena's laugh stretched out into a hideous cawing, like some form of hoarse bird. "So burned!"

"Burned? Says the pyromaniac to the Kessel miner..." Telash retorted rapidly. "A valid question, Doctor Offee, and unfortunately all the crew I have at my disposal in a pinch are these acting engineers - if the situation is truly that desperate. Which we must obviously hope it will never be, as you no doubt understand. Now, shall we remove ourselves to somewhere more suited to professional analytic work, as I recall we had a medical bay to outfit?"

"Ah, actually, I had made some notes. I have them on a tablet over there. I put it down when we were about to come over here." Bariss rambled on, slightly bewildered.

"Splendid. Always a pleasure when you get to work with thorough professionals, don't you agree Doctor Offee? Client Tano, if you would like to accompany us? Please lead the way."

Before any of them had remembered to stop themselves, Bariss and Ahsoka had exchanged a consternated look and Ahsoka had made the kind of irresistible grimace and shrug she made when something confused her.

Then Ahsoka opened the door of the bridge, and they found themselves looking right into the expressionless facial plate of a fully operational B1 battle droid.

"Die, jedi scum!"

The chagrian Mas Amedda is the blue consummate corrupt bureaucrat advising supreme chancellors and autocratic emperors with equally disinterested disregard for public good and statecraftly sense of honour. He is currently doing the galaxy a disservice as Vice Chair as I understand it, and has little impact on the protagonists other than being the target of ill-intentioned ship-name puns.

I have had the brilliant epiphany that Telash's personality - that I by the way have established in an earlier work - can simply be summed up as a mix of Edwin Odesseiron from Baldurs Gate I and II and Tony Stark from the Marvel Avengers universe.

Click to shrink...

 

[Astoria_Varanus]

Huh, that's honrstly a pretty cool idea for a ship, makes eense that you wouldn't want to be easily recognizable.

Thanks fpr writing this! I look forward to whatever you have to add next!

 

[Maltacus]

Huh, that's honrstly a pretty cool idea for a ship, makes eense that you wouldn't want to be easily recognizable.
Thanks fpr writing this! I look forward to whatever you have to add next!

Click to shrink...

And with the multitude of less than aeordynamic sizes and shapes of all ships in the Star Wars universe, form should be less of a priority .
It's a pity Sabine Wren is not up and running yet at this time, or maybe she is very little, otherwise the crew could find reason to stop for a paint job. But on the other hand, what if there was some machinery or painter droids that a small Sabine could hijack at an unguarded moment...