Gaming Stories, Video and Tabletop

[shadowdice]

I for one welcome our new AI overlord.
I mean, he can't be any worse than the cultists who serve the elder gods, created wars, mass slaughter, and turned the ocean into mutagenic blood.

A bit of rampant AI is just what the doctor ordered.
I honestly wonder if they would be surprised when the day comes and the people actually side with the rampant AI over them.

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My players have weird lines for their characters

Medtech: I'm not drinking while pregnant they'd end up fucked up

Me: they are biomechanical abominations that are stewing inside of you. Your corruption is also higher than 50

Medtech: I just assume they'd get worse with that on top

 

[mrttao]

My players have weird lines for their characters

Medtech: I'm not drinking while pregnant they'd end up fucked up

Me: they are biomechanical abominations that are stewing inside of you. Your corruption is also higher than 50

Medtech: I just assume they'd get worse with that on top

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Ha, hilarious. Also I shudder at the monstrosity that would be born from someone who has that much Corruption in them.

Have you already statted out what kind of monster it is going to be?

 

[shadowdice]

Ha, hilarious. Also I shudder at the monstrosity that would be born from someone who has that much Corruption in them.

Have you already statted out what kind of monster it is going to be?

Click to shrink...

As a basis

Body 22 Reflex 20 Move 20 Cool 12 Emp 11 Int 18 Tech 19 Luck 8 Psi 15 Attr 13
HP 30
6 Arms that do 6d6 damage for punches
Automatically interface with weapons and tech for a +2 bonus to hit.
Crystal-Metal Skin SP 20
Armor: SP 40
Daemon weapons with the equivalent of Daemon Princes in them
Can choose to be perpetually on fire
Resistant to Psychic attacks
Horns with a gore attack

They will also immediately cause a feeling of terror in the beings around them that don't worship the Elder Gods

Medtech is a biomechanical abomination that only just barely manages to stay looking semi-human due to that being one of her mutations. aside from that she is a Four Armed Biomechanical monster (is mechanoid but is a synthesis of flesh and metal due to getting mechanoid from looking straight at an aspect of shub-niggurath in the psychic plane and allowing it to do whatever it wanted to her). These things get all of that on top of their own mutations

My table gave them massive intellect, chaos lord, crystalline, and a few other traits.

Also, medtech is giving birth to twins. So she is essentially going to have fully armed and armored abominations against nature ripping their way out of her, which due to her own mutations putting her squarely in the superhuman territory (20 body and has mechanoid so she has more hit points than normal) she actually can survive this and be put back together by her cultists/gang.

The AI becoming an overlord and taking Nyarlathotep's place would probably be a net positive in this universe given that Medtech has gained massive amounts of corruption and made a deal with beings who made it very clear that they want to take over the Earth and turn the human race into their attack dogs to wage wars of extermination against their enemies across multiple universes. That deal being that she would let said entities be the patrons of her children in exchange for being given the ability to have them.

Yes, Medtech accidentally copied GEoM without the plan to use said Uber-children to defeat evil or save humanity.

edit

These children will get more powerful as Medtech gains corruption with them inside of her

Ok

Medtech is at corruption 55
Cop (who is currently out of the game) has 20
Fixer has 9 despite being openly evil
Rocker has 0 but upon realizing that he has accidentally met Nyarlathotep multiple times, he will be gaining some. I am unsure if he should get points due to being around Medtech who is basically a black hole of corruption

Also, all of the blood rain, transmutation of blood, and ocean of blood that has basically swept across California and Nevada has been turning a lot of people into mutants and cultists, along with the veil between earth and the dreamlands weakening.

Night City is basically a well of corruption now and could open up an actual tear in reality

 

[shadowdice]

The players in my cyberpunk campaign have finally started Greenwar (a module about hostile takeovers of corporations where the PCs get funding and an order to achieve 51% of the stocks of another corp by any means necessary)

we ended up with a good ten minutes being devoted to an argument as to what method of transportation to take (boat or plane as they have a big boat that can be used as a mobile base or if they want to use a plane but hire people to pilot their boat over to the initial meeting place in New York)

it then became just boat as the one who had initially said he wanted to fly first class somehow believed that the others were arguing for plane and not boat.

a fourteen year old tried to mug Fixer and got his leg shot off for it.

Thug: Give me your money old man

Fixer: Ah youth *destroys his leg and leaves him bleeding out on the street* Now learn your lesson.

Said random thug managed to ace his death saves, get high on endurance to drag himself out of the street, and got off a torso shot that killed a rival teen thug that tried to get the drop on him.

Fixer: Is he just going to be the kid who comes for me in forty years, reminds me who he is, then murders me?

Me: Possibly.

Rocker was barely there and when he was present he generally said his character wasn't interested in anything

Me: You are in New York, there is a whole world. Lots of art, food, and ridiculous things you can do.

Rocker: My guy just really isn't interested and will stay in the room.

Me: There are a ridiculous number of art museums out there.

Rocker: My AI can just recreate them in my head

Me:...You do understand that he would need to manually go through a ridiculous amount of stuff to get the layout of the places, build a composite out of photos of the inside, and then make a graphics engine and a bunch of other stuff to do that. That, and like you enough to do so?

Rocker: Oh.

Rocker seems to fail to realize that he hasn't done all that much to ingratiate himself to the AI

Fixer also made sure to repeatedly avoid any mention of the AI around others and simply call him their Ice Cream Shop associate.

Medtech got into a bizarre exercise composition with the Administrative Assistant Bodybuilder who was assigned to watch them. This included multiple athletics, endurance, dance, martial arts, performance, and strength feat rolls as they tried to outshowboat each other. With the bodybuilder just barely managing to beat Medtech due to having Prowess as a special ability (a bonus to athletics rolls which still put him below Medtech's ridiculously enhanced body and reflex as the bodybuilder had peak human but not superhuman stats)

Despite his blatant evil, Fixer might be the only one which the AI likes.

Medtech also had an oh shit moment as she met two cultists in New York City and realized that the reason there have been so many cultists and weird shit going on is because the group's contact with multiple entities made it so others noticed that shit was going on and started obtaining methods of influencing the world to work against their enemies and rivals.

Me: Plus there is the fact that you guys accidentally caused massive amounts of mutagenic blood to enter the world and caused the veil between reality to thin, along with marketing the blood to the Italian Mob.

Medtech: Cultists, or going against Nyarlathotep without powers....I'm probably going to take the cultists. And should avoid getting more corruption

Me: At this point your blood is a mutagen and you can synthesize more of it with vials of the muck flowing through your veins.

Medtech: What would 100 corruption look like?

Me: You would burn a hole through reality and be shunted elsewhere due to eroding physics and the sanity of everything around you as you become something utterly alien to humanity.

 

[Megaolix]

So, when are you having the governments sending the hit squads anyway? I mean, surely enough have noticed they're kinda the source of all this madness, right?

 

[shadowdice]

So, when are you having the governments sending the hit squads anyway? I mean, surely enough have noticed they're kinda the source of all this madness, right?

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right now the government is focusing on Biotechnica which unleashed fungus zombies and bioweapons on US soil.

The players also unleashed vast amounts of information involving biotechnica's illegal shit and gave it to the media, so there is just mountains of biological horror and Dr. Moreau shit on the government's plate.

But the party has gotten to the international stage now, so there are going to be government hit squads

like the columbians who are pissed off about their drug runners being killed and embassy being invaded.

Up until now they've been ensconced in their powerbase (lots of connections to various criminal factions and mercenaries in Night City with a big team of cybered up bikers on call). Now they have to go to places where they don't' have that many contacts.

Also pirates since they decided to use boats.

 

[shadowdice]

When the DM accidentally makes an innuendo

My Summoner/Paladin had cut off the horns of massive Hercules Beetles that we had fought, and went to a firbolg village to sell them

Me: Who would like these long horns?

DM: A firbolg woman comes up to you

Me: Oh no, this is going to be awkward

DM: Why?

Me: All of my character's interactions with women are either awkward or shamelessly trying to get discounts. The latter isn't happening.

DM: There was the paladin you got a letter of recomendation from

Me: Yes, me. A summoner with an undead summon silently screaming while around a paladin

Warlord: It is a good thing sense evil is different in this edition

DM: So, she says "I would trade you some hardwood for those horns."

Warlord:...

Me:...Hardwood?

DM: hardwood

Me: Hard Wood?

DM: Yes

I will trade her the two long horns for hardwood

DM: And she leaves

Me: I am going to be looking at the wood, thinking if she was talking in code

DM: What?

Me: Long curved horns being traded for HARDWOOD

Warlord: Trading penises

DM: Oh, well there is some silk strands on the other side of the wood

Me: *in character* WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

DM: She had no idea about the accidental innuendo, and neither did I until you explained it.

This session also included Gnome Knoll and Gnoll Knoll being next to each other and encouraging the hyena people to eat and enslave the gnomes.

Also drow are in on it as well.

Me: Sorcerer Gnome, is there a Gnome Knoll?

Sorcerer: Gnolls?

Me: Knoll

DM: Gnoll-Gnome hybrids?

Me: *spells it out*

We then have a flashback explanation of the horrors Gnomes suffered which forced them to run away and make a city deep underground that they keep absolutely secret from the rest of the world to escape the slavery and sacrifices by Gnolls

Me: Well, that got dark.

 

[shadowdice]

Me: *introduces friends to VtM* Okay, so. What do you want to be?

Friend who plays Medtech: *makes sociopathic Lasombra anti-tribu warlock detective that works for the local prince* I am going to put three dots in one retainer

Friend: *builds socially awkward adrenaline junkie Revenant hitman built for assassination and sniping with an obsession with plushies on the level that she drops everything she is doing to regain hers if she looses it*

Me: Ah, so you have your personal Death Note.

Friend: I feel like this character is both too innocent, and too weird.

Me: She is a revenant. She was raised by the Sabbat Tzimisce who turn living people into furniture

Friend: Oh. well now having a death wish makes sense.

Thus we get the adventures of the Prince's favorite anti-tribu who will lock the Prince's enemies in a shadowy hellhole until they are broken physically, mentally, and spiritually. Alongside his human pet that keeps an arsenal of guns and money around in case they need to murder anyone.

 

[Jace Spicer]

Me: *introduces friends to VtM* Okay, so. What do you want to be?

Friend who plays Medtech: *makes sociopathic Lasombra anti-tribu warlock detective that works for the local prince* I am going to put three dots in one retainer

Friend: *builds socially awkward adrenaline junkie Revenant hitman built for assassination and sniping with an obsession with plushies on the level that she drops everything she is doing to regain hers if she looses it*

Me: Ah, so you have your personal Death Note.

Friend: I feel like this character is both too innocent, and too weird.

Me: She is a revenant. She was raised by the Sabbat Tzimisce who turn living people into furniture

Friend: Oh. well now having a death wish makes sense.

Thus we get the adventures of the Prince's favorite anti-tribu who will lock the Prince's enemies in a shadowy hellhole until they are broken physically, mentally, and spiritually. Alongside his human pet that keeps an arsenal of guns and money around in case they need to murder anyone.

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Sounds like that's gonna be quite an interesting campaign.

 

[Jamesson Locke]

Me: *introduces friends to VtM

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Oh no. Did they finally cause the apocalypse in the Cyberpunk world then?

 

[Imabot]

Me: *introduces friends to VtM* Okay, so. What do you want to be?

Friend who plays Medtech: *makes sociopathic Lasombra anti-tribu warlock detective that works for the local prince* I am going to put three dots in one retainer

Friend: *builds socially awkward adrenaline junkie Revenant hitman built for assassination and sniping with an obsession with plushies on the level that she drops everything she is doing to regain hers if she looses it*

Me: Ah, so you have your personal Death Note.

Friend: I feel like this character is both too innocent, and too weird.

Me: She is a revenant. She was raised by the Sabbat Tzimisce who turn living people into furniture

Friend: Oh. well now having a death wish makes sense.

Thus we get the adventures of the Prince's favorite anti-tribu who will lock the Prince's enemies in a shadowy hellhole until they are broken physically, mentally, and spiritually. Alongside his human pet that keeps an arsenal of guns and money around in case they need to murder anyone.

Click to shrink...

Good thing that Medtech guy have a outlet in RPGs because otherwise this guy would be a serial killer or something.

 

[shadowdice]

Sounds like that's gonna be quite an interesting campaign.

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It is a one shot that might expand when we end cyberpunk but yeah

Oh no. Did they finally cause the apocalypse in the Cyberpunk world then?

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they are one the way. Fixer isn't free this week so we went ahead with a different game

 

[shadowdice]

Sounds like that's gonna be quite an interesting campaign.

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Good thing that Medtech guy have a outlet in RPGs because otherwise this guy would be a serial killer or something.

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Me: *shows character creation to Rocker*

Rocker: I am going to be a Path of the Feral Heart Gangrel

Me:...You guys just jump straight off the moral compass instantly the moment you get the chance.

Rocker: Yeah

Medtech: *shows him Thirst for Innocence* This flaw is cool.

Me: Please read the list of sins and actually try to follow them instead of using it as an excuse to be a monster. The Roads are things which you have to follow if you choose them, and doing stuff against it can result in losing points, which drives you closer to insanity.

Rocker: Oh, well that's good to know

Thus, we get the stereotypical Lasombra mastermind and Gangrel anti-tribu cat burglar, only it is a Lasombra Anti-Tribu and Gangrel main clan in the Camarilla.

 

[mrttao]

Rocker was barely there and when he was present he generally said his character wasn't interested in anything

Me: You are in New York, there is a whole world. Lots of art, food, and ridiculous things you can do.

Rocker: My guy just really isn't interested and will stay in the room.

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i can relate. why even go outside?

 

[shadowdice]

i can relate. why even go outside?

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Well his options were stay with his friends, go outside, or stay with a corporation he hates

 

[shadowdice]

The end of my vampire oneshot included Sullivan Dane, a vampire hunting priest, continuously show that he has either the devil's luck or the will of god as he kept getting 10s on every single roll.

Bullets, Tanked or dodged (it was a person who he noticed standing on the upper level of a building trying to aim) by Sullivan Dane

Punches, dodges by Sullivan Dane

Claws, dodges by Sullivan Dane

Shadow tentacles trying to molest him from the back of his car as it crashes from an angry vampire with protean punching through the engine block, Kung Fu dodged by Sullivan Dane

Double tap by ghoul sniper, finally kills Sullivan Dane. And that is only due to said ghoul rolling 4 tens on damage as every single roll Sullivan Dane, Witchhunter MD, made had at least 2 tens.

Guiseppe (Lasombra Medtech): Well that happened

NPC Caitiff: *rolling on the ground in pain due to botching the soak roll of holy blood all over her face*

Bruce (Gangrel Rocker): *clothes are smoldering but managed to soak with crits*

Anabelle Triabell *NPC Toreador Elder*: Well, I it is a good thing I brought tarp

Guiseppe: And I have a place for the body

Bruce: *realizes he might need to have animals eat the corpse*

Group: That was a fun session

 

[mrttao]

I am surprised they did not try to reanimate him as a zombie to see if they could preserve his luck

 

[Jamesson Locke]

I am surprised they did not try to reanimate him as a zombie to see if they could preserve his luck

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I'm surprised Shadowdice isn't plotting to have him resurrected for if the group play Vtm again.

 

[shadowdice]

I am surprised they did not try to reanimate him as a zombie to see if they could preserve his luck

Click to shrink...

I'm surprised Shadowdice isn't plotting to have him resurrected for if the group play Vtm again.

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The town has a mage with a cult who will probably turn him into a ghost or zombie in an attempt to kill all the vampires

neither player has necromancy, but 3 of the vampire NPCs do (the prince, his Blood bound child, and a malk Blood bound to his child)

 

[shadowdice]

additionally, they came to very fun conclusions while being told that they were in the urban industrial wasteland of Gary

Gangrel/Rocker: *Rolls two 10s on survival* I'll try to hunt for deer in the park

Me: Deer

Gangrel/Rocker: yes

Me: Despite the fact that you are pretty sure there aren't normally deer anywhere near there, you are able to find one.

Gangrel/Rocker: And I'll hunt it *gets 3 successes on dex+brawl to grapple a deer to the ground* And I stealthily creep up on it so by the time it notices me it is too late

Me: You would have needed to roll stealth to do this stealthily, but you basically just tackled it to the ground before it had the chance to run away. Do you plan on killing it?

Gangrel/Rocker: *drains 2 blood points* I know I should probably keep the population up

Me: Also your Path of the Feral Heart

Gangrel/Rocker: Yeah

Me: So you get up after assaulting this deer, it is barely alive and is absolutely terrified as it has no idea what is going on. You spit out some hair as well. Lasombra?

Lasombra/Medtech: I use my police contacts to look for criminals. *doesn't botch but isn't great*

Me: You know there are some violent incidents in a bar

Lasombra: *goes there and says he will feed one a drunk person if he gets the chance*

Me: You do know that you suffer the effects of drugs in a person's blood

Lasombra: Oh, never mind. Does anyone leave alone?

Me: *rolls* yes

Lasombra: *ends up drinking from a homeless person who passed out by the bus station in an abandoned part of the city* I will look at my Ghoul and tell her she can start.

Me: Lasombra, I had explained Ghouls. What do they eat?

Lasombra: Blood

Me: Vampire blood. So you'd drink a blood point then lose one. Also, you chose not to choose the cannibal flaw for her

Lasombra: Oh right. So, I'm drinking from him while she drinks from me.

Me: Okay, when you are done you can taste the hobo on your tongue and lips. It is horrible and dirty. Your Ghoul takes out a handkerchief to wipe her mouth, then your wrist, and gets out another one for yourself to help get the taste out.

also, Gangrel continuing his habit of trying to run away from fights

Gangrel: I'm going to try to run away from the vampire hunter

Me: The one who saw your face

Gangrel: He won't be able to find me

Me: He hunts vampires for a living and has killed several each year. You got two 10s on the roll to recognize him. You know that he has hunted down and staked Gangrel before leaving them out for the sun. Also, you aren't on the path of Humanity.

Gangrel: And?

Me: Look at your ethics and sins. One of your edicts is protecting your pack and not abandoning them. The house full of vampires which this guy has been taking pictures of includes your sire, and two others are engaging with him.

Gangrel: Oh, right.

Lasombra: Could I talk with this vampire hunter, or is he a fanatic? Surely he can be reasonable.

Me: Lasombra, you are on the Path of Power and the Inner voice. The two of you are vampires who straight up abandoned even calling yourselves something like a human.

Lasombra: Right *summons tentacle monster inside of the priest's car*

 

[shadowdice]

I imagine that the current GM (Medtech) of our DnD sessions feels pain

Over the course of the last few sessions we ended up taking a contract to help the village of a female theurge wizard girl who our female Gnome Sorcerer had been trying to befriend and automatically wanted us to aide when she heard that people went missing iin the area. This included us repeatedly going into a forest of deadly monsters controlled by an insane druid so that we could kill it and recover a magical artifact, also we had to fight T-Virus zombie vines that survived after we essentially killed the host, cut it out of the host, and stabbed it a bunch. Only to result in us having to drown it in salt water because it somehow managed to survive all of that.

*earlier a dryad had given gifts to the majority of the party so our weapons would be considered magic for damage resistance*

Me: Gnome, am I allowed to hold you up? I don't want to assume, but it seems like the forest goddess doesn't see little people.

Gnome: Thanks

Me: *Picks up gnome and holds her up for the dryad to see*

GM: *totally forgot about getting an item for Gnome and finds a limited use tangle wand*

Gnome: I know it is hard sometimes to remember us.

*before the festival*

GM: So everyone is happy and,

Me: Weren't there like a bunch of bodies that they have to bury now? Isn't that kinda inappropriate

GM: What?

Me: All those bodies that we found in the lake and fished out of it so they could see the dead and bury them

Half Elf Warlord: Right, I did have the locket. Wait no, I gave it to that apprentice druid.

GM: I think you left them there

Half Elf Warlord: That would be a horrible thing to do.

Me: No we didn't

Half Elf Warlord: Pretty sure we didn't

Me: Oh wait, we put them in the bag of holding

Half Elf Warlord: Oh right

Me: I guess we can retcon that at an appropriate time last night we unloaded it and washed it.

GM: How would you wash a bag of holding?

Me: Turn it inside out. Which is also how you expel all the stuff in it.

We then went to a party where we learned that the local lord was planning on stealing the artifact, which was currently in the hands of the local druid's apprentice, who is trying to date the wizard theurge

Me: *Finds note which reveals that the lord was hiring a thief to steal the artifact* I am going to walk back to Warlord while loudly saying what's on this. "Hey Warlord, I found this note"

Warlord: Give it back to whoever had it

Me: Who drops a note in a carnival and expects to get it back?

Warlord: What?

Me: *repeats the contents of the note while loud and drunk and gets a 15 on performance to say it REALLY loud so people would hear it*

Warlord:...We just retrieved the artifact and gave it back to the village

Me: Old druid lady, do you know where the artifact is? Because now a nobleman is trying to steal it.

GM: Well she asks you what you are talking about?

Me: She is between me and Warlord, it is literarily impossible for her to have not heard us arguing and I just explained.

GM:...*looks at map and realizes that is correct*

GM: *also tries to put in that the thief already stole it, but said thief had been walking in the exact opposite direction while my character had been walking towards the old lady and explaining the situation*

Elderly Druid Lady: I'm sure my apprentice is out with that girl doing something

Me: Oh no. I'm sorry that she isn't into Gnomes

Half Elf Warlock: Gnome isn't at his computer right now

Me: Oh sorry

Half Elf Warlock: And why did you assume that Gnome is a lesbian?

Me: She was always talking to the wizard girl on the week long trip we had to make, had us go save her when hobgoblin bandits kidnapped her, and went to her hometown at a drop of the hat and had us save it. I assumed Gnome was into her

Hal Elf Warlock:....

GM: Why would your character think that?

Me: He is an Isekai character and a hedonist. He would probably jump to the idea that the socially awkward tiny person witch who doesn't talk about her home, and leaps into danger to save her magical friend was trying for a romance.

*five minutes later as we are explaining the situation to the apprentice druid when he was trying to have alone time with the wizard girl and is flustered*

Gnome: What is going one now?

Me: Unfortunately, the nobles are trying to steal the artifact we just recovered, and worse yet, wizard isn't into Gnomes

Gnome: I am a powerful sorcerer, I don't have to be a gnome if that is a dealbreaker

GM: Wat?

I don't think the GM was going into this campaign expecting a drunk mage ruining the heist plot and sudden lesbian gnomes

 

[Megaolix]

I see Medtech is now feeling your pain when things take a turn for the whut.

 

[mrttao]

Gnome: I am a powerful sorcerer, I don't have to be a gnome if that is a dealbreaker

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To be fair, that is true.
Magic has a lot of solutions to any weird sex thing you want. as well as facilitators for inter-species sex stuff

 

[shadowdice]

I tried to run Vampire the Masquerade for Rocker and Medtech...henceforth Gangrel and Lasombra. Cyberpunk is still on, but Fixer has less days where he can actually play so we are alternating games between me and Medtech

Spoiler

Lasombra: So, I am going to be a mage this time

Me: *shows him Abyss Mysticism* I will say that you can take this as an in clan discipline since Tremere and Giovanni can do that with their respective types of thaumaturgy

Lasombra: That sounds good *Abyss Mysticism and Obtenebration are the only disciplines he puts points into*

Me: Okay, to be clear. All magic requires using blood points

Lasombra: *puts a few points into melee, but has only 1 strength so it won't do much damage*

Me: So what do you want to do with virtues

Lasombra: I want to be on the path of Power and Inner Voice

Me:...I went over the fact that you are in the Camarilla

Lasombra: I think it's okay

Me: you read about auspex

Lasombra: Yes

Me: If you are sure, please remember that it can be used against you by people who want to get you killed.

Lasombra: I just have to out-plot them

Me: *thinks of all the horrible stuff he does on accident in Cyberpunk* Sure. What do you want to do for contacts?

Lasombra: *puts 3 in Retainers to have a Revenant as a ghoul, 3 into mentor for having the Prince of Gary, Modius, as his mentor, and uses freebies to have enough dots for 2 influence in police and 2 in oubliette so he can torture and hide bodies in a shadow dimension*

Me: Okay, do you want to take merits and flaws

Lasombra: What about thirst for innocence

Me: Lasombra, if you take this, I am OBLIGATED to make you roleplay it. There is nothing subtle about eating children and babies because they get your beast screaming "FOOD THE PERFECT FOOD NOTHING ELSE IS AS GOOD"

Lasombra: Yeah, I have to be smart with my ruthlessness. I will take Amnnesia, notorious sire, and rival sires.

Me: Would you say your sire was a Sabbat, and you escaped from his abuse?

Lasombra: Yes

Gangrel: I want to be on the path of the feral heart

Me: Okay, Lasombra, Gangrel, I want you to read the text about these philosophies, what their sins and ethics are, and understand what these mean because you can't just use these as an excuse for everything you do.

*very quickly we have Gangrel trying to abandon his sire, Lasombra, and everyone who has helped him in just about any way instead of even trying to help his "pack" against a single lone hunter*

Me: Gangrel so what are your skills and such?

Gangrel: *puts a lot into stealth, larceny, and athletics*

Me: So you are a cat burglar

Gangrel: No, I'm a good person

Me:...you have stealth and larceny

Gangrel: Hmm *slowly realizes that pretty much all of his skills are based around moving around, combat, and stealing outside of animal ken and survival. the only one which could be a job that isn't about crime is having 1 point in craft home repair*

Me: Also, you took path of the feral heart and abandoned the path of humanity.

His focus ended up with Animalism as the one he had the most points in if I remember right.

Most of his background points were in Generation, getting him up to gen 9 while he had one of the local Gangrel (Lucian) as his mentor.

But Gangrel pretty much refused to interact with any character in the session, avoided any attempt people made to talk to him, and tried to outright flee when he even thought their was a chance.

And this wasn't really roleplaying.

Me: Okay, what are you guys doing when you first wake up. It is a Christmas Eve in the 1990s and you are in Gary Indiana *shows the group pictures of Gary* Hometown of the Jackson Five, it is easy to see why they were motivated to become famous and leave.

*Group agrees it looks like worse Detroit in some places*

Lasombra: Like the musical?

Me: Things went poorly after the musical. Also, all of you have to spend a blood point to wake up

Gangrel: Oh, so we can't just save blood and never feed.

Me:...No

Gangrel: I guess that makes blood important

Me: You are vampires. First, what kind of places are you sleeping in?

Lasombra: In my oubliette underneath my Ghoul's house.

Me: You wake up and everything is normal. What is the first thing that you do?

Lasombra: Research the Abyss

Me: Roll int+occult

Lasombra: *3 successes*

Me: You know that people theorize that the Abyss is somehow connected to the afterlife, Some believe it is the deepest section of what many groups call the Near Umbra. There are creatures there that are intelligent, but the level of that is debatable

Lasombra: I see

Me: Gangrel where are you

Gangrel: In the park

Me: You do understand that sunlight can kill you

Gangrel: Right

Me: I am just going to assume you found an abandoned shed somewhere in there. I'll say dex+craft to make sure there are no holes

Gangrel: *1 success*

Me: you just barely manage to make sure there is no sunlight hitting you for the day, and wake up as the sun sets. what do you do?

Gangrel: I call my ghoul crow and use animalism to talk to it *horrifically botches it*

Me: you can talk, but what you hear from it is. "DEATH DEATH DEATH SPIRITS DEATH SPIRITS EVIL GHOSTS DEATH DEATH DEATH"

Gangrel: So nothing useful

Me: *aggravated by that response to there being something obviously wrong in the area* Both of you know that you are required to go to a Christmas Eve party hosted by the Prince. Do you hunt before trying to go?

Lasombra: Yes, I use my police contacts to find someone to eat

Me: Roll I guess manipulation+influennce

Lasombra: *1 success*

Me: You know about a bar brawl going on in part of the city, and think there would probably be at least one person who is in that middle ground between drunk and fine.

Lasombra: I will go out with my ghoul

Me: *rolls* it is snowing and the streets haven't been serviced by plows. but a lot of people have tried to get rid of the snow in their area so they can walk. Still, it is snowing heavily so there are several inch deep holes that you leave as you step through. Your ghoul has brought an umbrella and has it held up to avoid getting water on you.

Lasombra: Thank you Palladia

Me: When you arrive to the bar you can see people slowly leaving the area, some are more drunk then others.

Lasombra: Easy prey

Me: And you are influenced by the drugs in people's systems if you drink them

Lasombra: I look for one who isn't too drunk

Me: Roll perception+alertness

Lasombra: 1 success

Me: You see one guy who looks just tired, he walks off for a while

Lasombra: Does he go into an alley?

Me: *rolls* no, he goes to a bus stop and sits down. you think he passes out at some point

Lasombra: Well I go down there and drink one blood point

Me: Okay I'm going to say you don't need to roll to feed

Lasombra: Then I get up, look at my ghoul and say. "You can feed now." while gesturing at the hobo

Me:...

Lasombra: What?

Me: Ghouls drink vampire blood

Lasombra: Oh, well I offer her my wrist while I'm feeding and drink two blood points then

Me: If anyone looked in your direction they'd just assume there is something incredibly kinky going on there. Gangrel

Gangrel: I want to hunt a deer

Me: I'm not sure if there are deer there

Gangrel: *four successes*

Me: Apparently you find the one deer in Gary. are you going to attack it?

Gangrel: Yes

Me: It would be brawl+dex to grapple it?

Gangrel: *3 successes*

Me: How would you describe it

Gangrel: I sneak up on it and before it sees me I am on top of it

Me: Sneak would be stealth

Gangrel: Oh

Me: We could say that you just rush and tackle it to the ground before it has any clue what is going on

Gangrel: And I drink two blood points

Me: It is on the ground, terrified and confused as to what is happening to it. Do you do anything else to the deer?

Gangrel: No, I should probably try to keep the population up.

Me: So then, what do the two of you do?

Lasombra: Walk around, patrolling for a while before heading to the party

Me: Roll alertness+perception

Lasombra: *fail*

Me: Roll awareness+wits

Lasombra: *3 successes*

Me: You can practically smell something that you know is super bad for you. True Faith. Someone with powerful faith in God has arrived in the city

Lasombra: I wrinkle my nose as if I smelled something foul. "How quaint."

Me: Gangrel

Gangrel: I don't really know, it isn't like I have anyone to talk to

Me: Your sire

Gangrel: Nah

Me: Your backstory is that you are from here. Would you have had siblings?

Gangrel: Yes

Me: *rolls* They are still here and doing...middling for Gary

Gangrel: I guess it is one of those Its A Wonderful Life moments where I am staring at them from the street. Thinking about what would have happened if I didn't become a vampire

Me: Roll conviction

Gangrel: *3 successes*

Me: You are like, "You know what. I would have been a predator either way."

Gangrel: I wonder what my job would have been.

Me: It has been over 20 years, so your younger siblings now look older than you. You also realize it would be really bad for you if you were around and hadn't aged

Gangrel: Yeah, that would be weird

Me: Okay, roll alertness+Perception

Gangrel: *2 successes*

Me: You notice that there is a cop car rolling around with Chicago plates

Gangrel: Huh, weird

Me: So, when do you guys arrive to the partyl

Gangrel: I don't go

Me: You know that the prince has everyone going to the party as one of his few strictly enforced rules, and that he might do horrible things to you if you refuse him.

Gangrel: I guess I go

Me:...Do we want to say that you have a suit your sire gave you that you pretty much only ever wear at this once a year party?

Gangrel: Sure, I arrive kind of late

Lasombra: I am punctual

Modius: Ah, my friend. It is good to see you, tell me. Have you heard anything of note as of late?

Lasombra: I sensed true faith in the city

Modius: *immediately on the alert* come to my office

*the prince is now paranoid about hunters*

Me: Eventually you see is child Alicia arrive. She does not talk to anyone normally. Soon after arrives this huge lumbering giant named Michael. You know that he lives in the graveyard. some of the time when a violent group arrives in the city he shows up out of nowhere and starts beating people with a shovel.

Lasombra: What clan is he?

Me: Roll occult+Int

Lasombra: *3 successes*

Me: He is a Malkavian. As he enters he looks up and says "Hello ghosts." You know that Malkavians have auspex, so he might be seeing something you can't and probably don't want to witness

Lasombra: Oh, well he is a lowly wretch

Me: Alicia in one of the few times she has ever spoken to you threatened to stake you and leave you out for the sun if you try to eat him or if he ever mysteriously disappears

Lasombra: Good to know

Me: Alexander Danov, the Nosferatu elder living in the city arrives

Lasombra: My response is pretty much the same as with the Malkavian

Me: after that is Lucian, the Gangrel Elder. You know from the previous times you've attended that he is old enough that he worked for Julius Caesar when he was alive. Last is Claudette Malfet, you don't know what clan she is from, but she often spends time with Lucian. You know that she is only slightly older than you. She seems to travel from city to city but often returns to Gary.

Lasombra: *spends his time talking to Modius about magic until Gangrel arrives*

Gangrel: *barely talks to Modius and is already trying to leave the moment he gets there*

Me: Lasombra, Lucian looks at you and smiled.

Lasombra: What?

Lucian: Oh, I am simply surprised to see you are still among us. You have escaped being Modius's midnight snack for another year

Lasombra: No one is snacking on me

Lucian: I am simply thinking about who would be the first casualty. Modius is of a high generation, and they often find themselves unable to sustain on just human blood *Is fucking with Lasombra*

Lasombra: That hasn't happened yet

Me: Gangrel, Alexander will you at you and smile

Gangrel: I don't really know these people so I will avoid them all

Me:...Gangrel, you have met these people at least twenty one times. They are the people who you have the most contact with in the last several decades

Lasombra: I think he means out of character

Me: *closes eyes* He looks at your sire and says "May I borrow your progeny for a moment."

And I can't remember for the life of me what the conversation actually was as Gangrel refused to engage with pretty much any of the NPCs

Me: Everyone roll perception+alertness

Gangrel *2 successes*

Me: You notice a car sitting in the street.

Gangrel: *Doesn't mention it to anyone*

After a while, the last vampire in the area burst in, Juggler a Brujah anarch who brought twenty humans into the room while carrying a boom box playing rock music*

Lasombra: TWENTY?

Me: Yes, twenty

Gangrel: I try to escape

Me: There is a horde of humans between you and the exit

Gangrel: Oh, right

Me: Lasombra, you can tell that Modius is furious and Juggler is smiling like a lunatic

Everyone ends up making rolls to control their beasts as a Toreador and Brujah have a Presence competition to inspire fear or awe in everyone.

Modius's fear won out *had multiple 10s* which resulted in the humans basically pissing themselves as they fled. followed by the doors being barred by Modius's ghouls as he gets in a shouting match with Juggler once he realized that Juggler made a Childe without his permission.

Lasombra: So, new girl. The way this works is that normally people are supposed to ask for permission before doing this sort of thing

Juggler: She has been greeted, seems she is one of us.

Me: Everyone roll perception+alertness again

Lasombra and Gangrel succeed

Me: There is a camera flash. Modius looks out the window and sees the car with a camera poking out of it, then closes the blinds.

Modius: Who will go out and deal with the interloper

Gangrel: I try to run away

Me: I explained that the doors were barred after the humans left

Gangrel: I look for another way to escape.

Me: Please look at the hierarchy of sins, then at your sire, then at the specification of not abandoning your pack. Such as the sire that supports and mentors you.

Modius: I will give a favor to anyone who will deal with the problem outside

Lasombra: I'm going?

Gangrel: I can leave?

Me: *Rolls* Claudette also gets up and looks like she is going to join. So I guess it is the goon squad. Lasombra, your ghoul holds up a briefcase which has her disassembled rifle, asking you if you want her outside, or upstairs with the gun pointed down?

Lasombra; The latter

Me: When you guys get out, you see the car is still there.

Lasombra: I approach

Me: Okay, as you guys get closer, you can see the man's face. Everyone roll intelligence plus either occult or streetwise?

Both succeed

Me: You know that this is Sullivan Dane. A jesuit priest turned vampire hunter, he has killed several kindred over the decades.

Gangrel: I run away

Me: He has seen your face and taken pictures

Gangrel: I'm a vampire, he can't track me down

Me: Vampire HUNTER, also please look at the hierarchy of sins which I told you to read before asking if you really wanted to go down the path of the feral heart.

Gangrel: I will hang in the back

Me: Lasombra, who doesn't have good melee damage, stamina, or have Fortitude, is apparently braver than the guy who likes to hunt things. Okay, Lasombra. you have bright aura, and the merit which makes you seem more lifelike. So, what do you do?

Lasombra: I walk up to the man

Me: Do you have some kind of signal for your ghoul?

Lasombra: I guess slapping my hand on the car hood

Sullivan Dane: I do not believe you know who you are friends with

Lasombra: *barely passes subterfuge* Really? *gets ghoul to make the shot*

Sullivan Dane: *succeeds roll to notice the sniper and then succeeds in ducking behind the car door, sends car into gear*

NPC Claudette: *jumps onto the car and tries to punch him through the window but Sullivan dodges*

Lasombra: *summons tentacle monster into the backseat which Sullivan dodges*

Gangrel: *tries to claw him through the window, fails*

This went on for a while as I had the NPC start punching the car with potence to destroy the engine block as the others kept failing to hit Sullivan dane until the ghoul got two shots on him

Me: How do you describe this?

Lasombra: There are just two bangs and then his head explodes all over the car's interior

Me: Okay, we are ending it here but first. *Puts in Icon for the Toreador Primogen of Chicago, Annabelle Triabelle* Lasombra, you recognize this woman

Lasombra: Is it bad

Me: This is Annabelle Triabelle. One of the Chicago Kindred. You know that she is a 6th Generation Toreador and that she is basically a direct descendant of Helen of Troy. Because she and Modius both told you that in the times she visited him

Lasombra: *Very worried*

Annabelle: *sees the destruction and claps her hand together* Well, it is a good thing I brought tarp. Who knows a good place to hide a body?

Everyone starts laughing and we cut on that .

 

[LurkingInTheDeceit]

Gangrel: I run away

Click to shrink...

This kinda sums up Gangrel's decision making process for the entire session... why does rocker do this? What do they have against interacting with the world in any way without being coerced into it? It's a long running theme, so there's got to be an explanation for it.

 

[shadowdice]

This kinda sums up Gangrel's decision making process for the entire session... why does rocker do this? What do they have against interacting with the world in any way without being coerced into it? It's a long running theme, so there's got to be an explanation for it.

Click to shrink...

I have no idea and have tried to talk to him about it, but didn't really get much other than shy

which doesn't really make sense when we've been playing RPGs together for like 3 years now

 

[shadowdice]

Fixer has made his VTM character (a fashionista Tremere who knows Conjuration, Weather Control, and Corruption)

Lasombra: What Path of Enlightenment are you choosing

Me: I went over the fact that those are not the norm for vampires

Tremere: I am already a blood mage, I need to be as careful with my humanity as possible. Plus, why would I throw that away?

Also Tremere: Wait, why does Gangrel do the exact opposite of what his path entails?

Me: Because he considers that roleplaying

Lasombra: I don't think he knew about it

Me: I explained the path before we started the game

Lasombra: Oh, well he kinda needs to either follow it or choose a different system then

Me: So, since you choose Craft Fashion Tremere, that means you can do the Cinderella Fairy Godmother stuff since you have Conjuration 4.

Tremere:...Now I actually do want to act as some mortal's fairy godmother

A vampiric blood mage whose known job is being a high end fashion designer (4 in crafts, 2 in resources, fame, influence, and 1 herd) while feeding on lots of young beautiful women and the having parties, and probably has a favorite girl who she treats as a surrogate daughter.

The TREMERE of the party is somehow the moral one. Which is somewhat amazing since her humanity is just 5, though she has courage 5 and willpower 10

Tremere: Why didn't everyone max out Willpower?

Lasombra: I went with other stuff.

 

[shadowdice]

The Second VTM session, or: Lasombra assumes that stakes are special and that all of them need to be destroyed. Gangrel is purposefully obtuse

Spoiler

Me: Okay. We left off with the bit where Annabelle said that she had tarp. What are you guys going to do?

Lasombra: Um, can we feed

Me: Well there is a lot of blood and gore. Are you talking about taking his arm and just biting into it or something?

Lasombra: Yeah

Gangrel: Sure

Me: There is a ghoulish scene as you guys and the NPC Claudette get close to the body and start reaching for it, hungry for more *Rolls* and as soon as your bodies come into contact with his blood you are burning. Like, getting a drop on your tongue leaves you sizzling like you put your tongue in boiling hot coffee

Lasombra: Oww

Annabelle: It really is a good thing that I brought tarp

The group then worked to get the body and larger portions of the heads inside the tarp and head into the mansion

Lasombra: I head over to Prince Modius. "Sir, this was Sullivan Dane. What should we do?"

Prince Modius: "Sullivan Dane." *hums* "Who here would help in disposing of the bo...dy"

Me: Everyone roll int

Both succeed

Me: every set of eyes in the room head over to Michal, the vampire that lives in the graveyard

Prince Modius: "Michael my friend, could you help with this situation?"

Lasombra: "Do you have somebody that could deal with it?"

Prince Modius: "I am going to have my people work on the wrecked car as it isn't something one can simply drive into the river. Now, all of you. Please drink blood."

Lasombra: "I guess he was the guy with the Chicago police car."

Me: No he isn't. This is a different car

Lasombra: WTF?

Me: He is a priest, not a policeman.

Lasombra: I guess I have to feed my ghoul so she can have some

Me: This is human blood, not vampire blood. She needs vamp blood

Lasombra: Right, so I go off and let her fill up before going back.

Me: So she drains you of three full vitae. This takes a while and you are drinking cup after cup because you are down to like 5 now

Lasombra: "Sorry about that. Everyone, get in my car."

And so Lasombra's car had a ghoul, himself, Malkavian, Secret Caitiff, and Gangrel in it

Me: Do any of you talk to each other?

Gangrel: No

Me: Okay, you get to the Graveyard. It is currently locked because it is well past midnight. Michael *Rolls athletics* Climbs up the fence and hops over

Gangrel: I'll roll athletics

Lasombra: Athletics. I'll use potence to make sure I succeed

Me:...Lasombra, you do have larceny to lock pick it with.

Lasombra: Oh, well I use athletics without potence since I need to be careful with my blood *both succeed*

Me:You are all out there, Michael leads you guys over to a fresh-ish grave and finds several shovels

Lasombra: Well, he can get digging

Me: Do you have a concept of how long it takes to dig a grave? Which is normally at least six feet deep and six feet long?

Lasombra: I get a shovel

*the Caitiff Claudette botches her roll and breaks her shovel, forcing her to use her hands while the others have difficulty with the task*

Me: Okay, when you finish there is just you guys. It has been a few hours. Do you do anything like check the body and stuff from the car?

Lasombra: Yes *rolls alertness and awareness*

Me: You see that he has two stakes, one wooden, one iron, and a sword cane which seems to be either made of silver or coated in it.

Lasombra: Odd, either he thought silver worked on us, or he was also hunting werewolves

Me: There is also a business card. it is stained from all the blood, but you make out a phone number and address which puts it in Chicago's FBI outpost. Your knowledge of police procedure lets you know that the phone number is for a desk phone, not a personal one.

Lasombra: Well, I am going to try to burn the stakes since they are dangerous

Me: You know that stakes paralyze you right

Lasombra: Yes

Me: Okay, stakes are used by vampires to fight other vampires. Given the fact that sometimes you want them stunned so they can be dragged somewhere else. Also, these stakes aren't special

Lasombra: I feel a bit silly while putting them in my coat

They headed back to the party where Lasombra showed Modius the card, forgot that auspex was a thing, and was amazed by Modius figuring out whose card it was

Lasombra: That is amazing

Modius: Auspex is a discipline which allows for information gathering in ways many find unnatural

Me: Gangrel, will you talk to anyone

Gangrel: No

Me:...okay, Lasombra?

Lasombra: I'll talk to the new girl, Evelyn

Evelyn: Hello

Lasombra: Hi, I apologize for the...ruckus. Did your Sire tell you about the rules we have?

Evelyn: Don't reveal your nature to humans, don't kill other vampires, don't eat other vampires, Tell other vampires when you go into their territory

Lasombra: We have another one, which is to not sire without permission. And that can lead to both of you being killed.

Evelyn: Oh

Lasombra: Yeah, also you are your sire's business until they release you.

Evelyn: I think this might have been that last thing

Lasombra: Well that is...odd

Evelyn: Juggler is weird

Lasombra: How so

Evelyn: Imagine a guy who sounds like he is on LSD showing up in front of you while saying he is a vampire and you are a child of darkness, jumping you, sucking you dry, and waking up as a vampire. He is kind of a dick.

Lasombra: Ooooh

Me: You are getting flashbacks to your awakening as a vampire in a coffin, clawing your way out, and finding yourself in another larger oubliette. along with repeating that process over seven times while drinking dry any animal or human that was thrown in there with you until you got out

Lasombra: Yeah, Shovelhead

Me: No. That is just your sire being an abusive dick to absolutely break any morality or sense of self you had.

Lasombra: "I understand your pain on some level."

Evelyn: "Yeah"

*they get talking for a while, then succeeds an alertness roll*

Me: Lasombra, you notice that Juggler is glaring daggers into your skull. You get the feeling that he sired her more out of lust than anything parental

Lasombra: OH GOD. I go over to talk with someone else

Me: Gangrel?

Gangrel: I really didn't see my character interacting with the party

Me: Why play an RPG then?

Lasombra: I think he meant the in-game party the vampires are throwing

Gangrel: No, the PC party

Lasombra:...

Me: Why?

Gangrel: I am a lone wolf. Plus, I don't want to be like my CoC PC who went insane

Me: I explained the Path of the Feral Heart and the fact that it includes supporting your allies

Gangrel: I don't have allies

Me: This room has the people that have been your social circle for 20 years, and you have the mentor background

Gangrel: Well...

Me: And you constantly run away and give in to fear in-universe. You do understand that if you go against the tenants of your path you will lose points in it, go insane, and lose your PC

Gangrel: I want to be a lone wolf, this can just be the tug of war between me and you

Me: You insisting on doing that is what would cause you to have your character go insane and lose control of it

Lasombra; Maybe he doesn't want to be one the path of the feral heart

Me: I explained it to him before we made his character

Gangrel: No, I want to be on this path. But I want to have a tug of war

Me:...why? The Concept of this game is interacting with Vampire Society

Gangrel: I'm not really interested in that

*10 minutes later, Lasombra and an Elder Nosferatu are discussing Golconda*

Gangrel: This is really interesting

Me: Do you want to get into the conversation

Gangrel: No

Me;...I don't know if you are fucking with me or not.

I managed to get Gangrel in a situation where Juggler, the lone anarch of the city was talking to him. But Gangrel was not responding much and didn't try asking any questions while Juggler was talking about Anarchs and trying to get really anything out of him.

Me: Are you going to do anything, ask anything?

Gangrel: No, I just want to be alone

Me:....you can leave the party if you want

Gangrel: I do that

Me: Is there anything you want to do?

Gangrel: Not really, I'm happy to listen to Lasombra talk to people though

Me:...

 

[shadowdice]

DM *Has a giant golem with a buster sword jump down on us*

Warlord: I use my sling to disarm him

Golem *nat 1 on resistance*

GM: Actual David vs Goliath

Me: I have Oda Nobunaga grab the sword and run. *Everyone uses their actions to dash*

GM: Did I just give you guys a 3 dice weapon?

 

[shadowdice]

DM *Has a giant golem with a buster sword jump down on us*

Warlord: I use my sling to disarm him

Golem *nat 1 on resistance*

GM: Actual David vs Goliath

Me: I have Oda Nobunaga grab the sword and run. *Everyone uses their actions to dash*

GM: Did I just give you guys a 3 dice weapon?

Click to shrink...

following up on this.

We had weird stuff involving the golem and us having to explain ourselves to people. Also, us going over everything we've done and coming to the conclusion that this is the one campaign where none of us have committed any crimes

Spoiler

GM: *Has the giant golem besieging a city, we then realized that the Golem is TALLER THAN THE WALLS

Me:...I am going to make it use dex saves.

Thankfully, a bunch of NPC adventurers were helping. But, making it have to make saves instead of getting past its atrocious AC helped kill it far faster than the GM had expected.

the fact that it was chasing us also led to a bunch of weird scenes

Me: Okay, so. The party is split so the NPCs are being controlled by us?

GM: Yes

Me: I take control of the Warforged then. He is going to grab the Gnome since she has a lower movement speed, then climb the ridges to avoid dealing with the golem.

GM: You want to climb the mountains

Me: That thing cannot be able to navigate the craggy rocks that well, and I can clearly see passages that are way too narrow for it to get in.

GM: *starts activating traps, including ghost monsters*

Me: Still climbing *manage to traverse and ignore over half the map due to STUPIDLY high athletics

GM: And the ghosts past through the walls while the Golem is still stuck. They are in front of you and cast ranged attacks

Gnome: THEY CAN GO THROUGH WALLS?

Me: My magic weapons can hit these still right?

GM: You think so

Me: *stabbing ghosts while still running away* I can hit these, and I doubt the golem would go down

Gnome: Ah, Fireball.

*later after we saved a random old lady from being mugged in a cave by bandits*

Me: Anyways, now we are running from bandits and a war golem

Old Lady: Ah, so you are on the run from the law.

Me; No, I said bandit.

Old Lady: But there was a war golem. That takes a lot of money.

Warlord Half Elf: Yes, and there are people in Udrua (Fantasy Mongolia) who make them. They are an enemy of my people

Old Lady: Bandits generally don't have war golems

Me: They could be hired by the same person

Old Lady: A person hired a war golem

Me: They hired someone who has a war golem, and they hired bandits. That doesn't mean we are in trouble with the law. We have committed no crimes (And this is actually true, our party has avoided committing any crimes except for potentially war crimes which were abided and abetted, and paid for by the Church i.e poisoning, torture, desecration of a body)

Old Lady: You are weirdly insistent on that point

Warlord Half Elf: We are mercenaries not criminals.

Around that time the GM said I could sense something divine/evil

Me: Um, sorry guys. My Paladin Senses are tingling, so I have to go check things out. If I start screaming, please come after me. *IN Character, they do not know what god I worship, or the specifics about my summoner stuff/being a summoner*

Thus, I went into a secret alcove in a cave that could lead to the equivalent to the under dark, where I found a black sword etched with glowing red Fiendish runes

Me: If this turns out to be Stormbringer...I'm doomed.

Evil Sword: I am a servant of Hextor, our enemies have sealed me away. Paladin, break my prison and allow me to return to my masterm

Me: Are you going to kill me?

Evil Sword: No, that would be against my interest

Me: Curse me

Evil Sword: No

Me: *goes down the list of things it could do harm me and makes it promise to not do anything like that* Okay, I'll break the sword with my sword

GM: As you break it, you see black energy streak up through the darkness and your sword turns black with red runes on it

Me: OH GOD

GM: It just adds a d6 of necrotic damage when you hit

Me: Okay, *goes back to the group* Hey guys, before you ask. I just had to free a servant of god from a prison that some heretical person set up to keep it from doing the will of law, order, and all that good stuff.

*later when we are in the city and see wanted poster of us*

Gnome: That was fast

Me: How would they even do that, it has been like 2 days?

GM: Sending

Warlord: That has like a 25 word limit, so that is a lot of 3rd level spells to spend on describing 5ish people, then they'd need an artist to write down that person's reccollection

GM: The nobleman who tried to have the artifact (A druidic artifact of a town which the nobleman wanted to send to an enemy nation to prove loyalty before a potential invasion). It lists your crime as treason, running from the law, murder, assault, grand theft *Goes on*

Me: I am looking at it and go, "Not really."

Warlord: Yeah, I think you are the only citizen of this country. And that is only technically isn't it? You said you were from somewhere else

Me: Yup. So treason doesn't really work. We can't even have something like a broken contract because we had one with the town and completed it, not with him.

Gnome: It wasn't his anyways

Me: Yup, and we have the guy who is in charge of taking care of the artifact being dragged along with us. *look at half-elf Druid who is the love interest of Gnome's maybe crush*

Gnome: Did we even attack anyone when running away?

Warlord: No, we stealthed that

Me: And we ran before he ever could have charged us, so that doesn't count either

Gnome: Bounty hunters?

Me: Hahaha, no. Also you don't know about that. Anyways, they were dressed like bandits and there was a giant golem so we had every right to believe they were criminals of some sort. Also they never formally charged us, so we had no way of knowing if they were actually legit. I never saw any bounty posters with them either.

GM: He is laying it on thick

Me: I am fairly certain that if we had the backing of anyone else with a modicum of power, we could easily get these charges dismissed. He really should have gone for something lesser that he could get us on with a technicality.

And in our vampire game

Spoiler: Vampire detectives

Third-ish Session. The Prince had a job for Lasombra/Medtech and Tremere/Fixer as the city had a string of incidents where bodies disappeared in ways that would imply they got up and left. One of the bodies was found in the domain of his Childe, which is a strip club/dance club. Due to the lack of Gangrel, I had it so the Prince tasked a secret Caitiff woman (Claudette) to help them

Lasombra: So, I think we need to go to the strip club to get information.

Tremere: I would have thought that an Italian would have an Italian suit.

Lasombra:...I, what? My suit is Italian

Me: Is it?

Lasombra: Probably

Tremere: I am fucking with him. "It is French you imbecile"

NPC Claudette: *Smug French sounds* Yes it is.

Me: Wits+Empathy vs Manipulation+Subterfuge

Tremere won

Lasombra: I...will not say anything, mostly because I wouldn't admit I was wrong if I thought I was.

Tremere: I smile and get into my limo.

Lasombra: I have a car

Tremere: I am using a limo.

The moment they got into the strip club. Tremere was trolling the scene for potential retainers and blood dolls that would double as her models, but held off on actually attempting it until they got permission to be active from the owner of the Domain, Alicia

Lasombra: *tries to lie to the Prince's childe*

Me: She looks at her ghoul, and he says "Please, stop lying"

Lasombra: I had 5 successes

Me: Lasombra, you do remember that the Prince has Auspex right

Lasombra: Fuck.

They said the truth and got permission to look around and feed from anyone other than the staff and Alicia's blood dolls.

This resulted in all the duo finding Claudette feeding in a closet after they got their fill, also Tremere convincing an attractive young man to model for her on a different night.

Tremere: What is his attractiveness

Me; He rolled a five *the rolls on him were high for attractiveness and physical characteristics*

Tremere: Well, he is going to be even more attractive when I am done with him. and morally corrupt *has path of corruptionn

Me: *internally: There are so many tags that would apply to Tremere* He also has 1 int, though he has above average wits. so he knows he isn't that smart

Lasombra: Jesus

Me: He is a himbo

Lasombra: Himbo?

Tremere: Male bimbo, and that just makes it better for me.

Himbo: Is this one of those things where I have to learn how to sing?

Tremere: No, you just sit and walk while looking pretty while I put you in stuff that makes you look better. *squeezes his muscles* and keep yourself in shape, no one likes an ugly model

They learned that they vampires dumped the body in the woods where it was taken by the police and disappeared from the morgue, and that other bodies had shown up there previously. They went to the woods and made several rolls including investigation, awareness, and alertness. Awareness was the one which they both did well on. Tremere also got 7 successes on ann occult check

Me: The two of you can feel that the shroud between life and the underworld has thinned here considerably, you also find evidence of a ritual being conducted both of you roll occult *they succeeded* It looks like they reached across and shoved a soul into the body, resulting in it getting up later. Tremere, you notice that one of the symbols on the ground is commonly used by Hollow Ones, a subsect of mages

Tremere: I'm not entirely sure if this is a bunch of really bad mages or not, the fact that they managed to leave a trace like this isn't that great on them

Lasombra: I look for tracks from where there car should have been

Me: In the parking lot

Lasombra: Yes

*Not nearly a good enough set of rolls for him to have actually succeeded*

Me: You are pretty sure a lot of cars have gone through here. But you realize that there are cameras by the traffic lights

Lasombra: *uses influence to get in and obtain access to the video-feed*

Me: So, two disturbingly intense woman in suits, a woman dressed like a runway model, and a mobster-esque man enter the police station. How do you want to say this goes Lasombra

Lasombra: I am persuading them that the case of the missing bodies is related to that video feed and ask to be allowed to go through it with their expert *doesn't have tech or computers*

Me: Okay, I'd say you guys can use perception+investigation or alertness. Also Occult if you succeed

Both: A LOT OF TENS

Me: I am going to play fast and loose with dramatic physics and say that it is that thing where you guys notice something that is super blurry and have him stop the video while giving him a bunch of different orders

Lasombra: It is all "Wait a moment, pause that. Roll it back. Zoom, enhance, zoom, enhance"

Me: Yes and you guys notice that in one car, there is a bunch of people in it, but one of the guys in the back suddenly disappears in one frame and never shows up again. Both of you know that Mages who specialize in spirits and the like can physically step over into the afterlife if you are sufficiently powerful. Would either of you know about films?

Lasombra: No

Tremere: Yes

Me: Roll either wits or int

Tremere: *several 10s success*

Me: You realize it is a 1971 Plymouth Barracuda with the same modifications as Phantasm. Do you know that movie OOC?

Tremere: Yes and I suddenly have respect for these cultists

Lasombra: What's going on?

Tremere: They have the same car as in this indie movie, Phantasm.

Me: Tremere, you are remembering that Phantasm while set in small towns, was all about creepy stuff going on in decrepit places where barely anyone lived there anymore, and weird people operating out of funeral homes and mortuaries were turning dead bodies into monsters.

Tremere: Maybe they are hiding out in a mortuary? Come, we are leaving.

They ended up barging into a funeral home that had lost bodies, and convinced the guy working there to show him a body that had clearly been experimented on *Had glowing fungus growing on the inside of it* While the Mortician was talking about conspiracy theories, they ended up dragging him into their limo while grilling him for places that the cultists might have been hiding in

Me; Roll alertness

*Both succeed*

Me: You notice a car following you,

Tremere: I use magic to make caltrops

Me: It keeps going and you see a hand reach out and put a police siren on top, your driver is looking back at you

Tremere: Why didn't the caltrops work?

Me: It isn't a normal car

Tremere: Can I use path of conjuration to dismiss it?

Me: That only works if it is a magically conjured item

Tremere: I tell the driver to keep driving, it clearly isn't a policeman

Lasombra: Oh fuck

Me:...Just so the two of you know. Police departments often have tires that are solid rubber or have other alterations to make sure the tires don't blow out.

Tremere/Lasombra: OOOOH

Due to failures on their empathy rolls, they ended up completely believing a policeman who pulled them over, name dropped Lodin and made other implications that he knew about vampires and was on their side, before showing them a picture of Evelyn, the girl Juggler sired

Lasombra: I don't know her

Me: Subterfuge

Lasombra: *Fails opposed roll*

Me: Yeah, he is specced for this and had better rolls than you.

Lasombra: *looks at all the tens*

Cop: Look, this girl ran at me in Chicago, yelling about a crazy man who was chasing after her. And I saw Juggler. You have to understand, since he moved her across state lines, that means it is a Federal crime. and That means the FBI can get involved, and one of the guys in their local branch is trying to hunt down vampires. This can be serious shit for all of us.

Tremere also showed off her casual...racism? towards other clans when Gangrel was mentioned, when a malkavian was mentioned, and was disgusted when a different Malkavian showed up in the abandoned school which they had tracked the cultists to.

Lasombra

Spoiler

*summons over eight tentacles and starts tearing apart fungus zombie monsters and crushing cultists to death*

The group ended up with a long-ass fight as everyone started trying to kill each other, Tremere got psychically assaulted by the actual Mage *the rest were basically assistants and batteries* who was using a violin that let him use mentally based magic *I forget which sphere*, the Malkavian brained him over the head with a guitar but most of the damage got soaked, and people were being torn to shreds by tentacles, claws. and gunfire

Tremere: I summon a statue of myself and use it to crush his legs. *9 successes on craft roll*

Everyone: *stares as the mage's legs are crushed into mush by an amazing statue.

Claudette the NPC Caitiff forced blood down the mage's throat to reduce his resistance *neither Player disagreed or thought that it might be a power play*, and Lasombra drained over 3 blood points from him

Me: I need to look in the book

Lasombra: Why?

Me: I'm pretty sure that Mage blood causes temporary derangements and causes bad trips *I was right* Roll...instinct I guess

Lasombra: *Fail*

Me: You are tripping balls and are having visions of your past but none of it is all that clear and you can't remember your name. But you do know that you are from boston, *starts describing different vignettes which have been altered by his hallucinations* Roll for derangement

Lasombra: *gets OCD*

Tremere: I am going to get back in the car with Claudette. *Intimidates terrified Mortician who thinks he has been kidnapped by the mob and is stuck between different terrifying women*