Ham & Cheese Subs 2
darthcourt10
Well worn.
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- Jun 12, 2018
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sasahara17
A very, very quick and short followup to the latest Ham and Cheese Sub snip.
-=-
Sometime much, much later...
-=-
Hermione Granger, stared at the object in her hands with pure, undisguised fury. The intensity of her glare was so strong that, Hermione could have set fire to it if she wanted to... and considering Hermione was both a witch in training and a ship girl of her majesty's royal navy, this was not beyond the realm of possibility.
Of course, the bound, hardcover book she held was an inanimate object that cared not for her fury, and simply remained where it was in her hands without the slightest care in the world. Indeed, the copy of 'Ship Girl Infiltration Tactics and Strategy for Absolute Beginners, 1st Edition Limited Print', which was collectively authored by a bunch of complete idiots under the pen name 'THE VALIANT KNIGHTS OF THE DEEP BLUE UNDERSEA!', was much like it's authors in that regard.
As in, it didn't give a damn about what Hermione, or anyone else for that matter, wanted and did it's own thing.
On one hand, she wanted to chuck the offending tome in to the great lake (or burn it, or put it through a shredder, or some other destructive metbod of disposal) and be done with the damned thing. It was readily apparent to Hermione who was behind this book, and she had a gut feeling that keeping it around could possibly ensnare her in whatever harebrained plot the submarines had cooked up for her. Common sense would have her get rid of it before something disastrous happened.
On the other hand, it was a book... and an authentic first edition collectable, published by Penguin of all people. How the submarines had managed to get Britain's largest publishing house swept up in their little schemes, she didn't know. However, the book lover in her couldn't bear to get rid of the tome despite the threat it posed.
Then there was the little, inquisitive part of Hermione Granger that wanted to read the book to divine whatever secrets contained within...
Decisions, decisions.
"Wow, Hermione. I didn't know there was a book on ship girl covert operations," Harry said as he came up to where she was sitting in a quiet corner of the Gryffindor common room, "And it's published by Penguin Books too. I thought they mostly did fictional stuff like the classics and children's books."
"This is a children's book, Harry." Hermione flipped the book about to show Harry the illustrated cover, which had a brightly colored photograph of HMS Upholder in a conspicuous looking trench coat and fedora conspicuously trying to sneak through the front entrance of some old, medieval castle.
"Wha-"
"I had a look through the reviews on Amazon," Hermione grumbled, flipping the book back around so that she could continue to glare at the cover, "The whole thing is penned, and I quote 'like a satire'. It offers tips and tricks for a hypothetical young ship girl trying to, and I further quote, 'infiltrate a castle full of evil dark wizards for great justice'."
"Oh, so it's just a humor thing?" Harry said with a shrug.
"Penguin seems to have thought so. Not sure about the Submarines. My guess is the Submarines must have sent them the manuscript in their... usual way of communicating. The editors took it the only way a sensible person would," Hermione shook her head in disbelief, "I can't believe the submarines managed to pen a bestselling book. Over two hundred thousand copies sold, on the first day! How in the world...?"
"Hey, you know how much people are fascinated by ship girls. I bet a pencil drawing made by a ship girl would sell on eBay," Harry pointed out in jest, "Where did you get it, anyway? Did you sisters send you a copy through the owl post?"
"It was on my pillow, next to my head, when I woke up this morning," Hermione said simply, "It had a post it note stuck to the front from HMS Upholder saying how she used the stuff in the book to deliver it to me, and how I needed to study this to become a better at... stealthy stuff."
Harry paused. "Wait a moment. You found it next to your head when you woke up? And it wasn't there when you went to bed before?"
"No, no it was most assuredly NOT," Hermione confirmed with a growl, "So. From what I gather, Upholder snuck into my dorm room, which I share with several other people, in the middle of the night, hand delivered a copy of this book on ship girl infiltration techniques to me while I was sleeping, and then left with no one the wiser that she was even there. Harry... do you know what this means?"
A completely stumped Harry shook his head.
"That means that, whatever cheery nonsense this book looks like, there is a very high possibility that the information it has is correct, the techniques in it work... and this means it might be worth my time to read the damn thing!" Hermione dropped her head in her hands and gave a loud groan of utter frustration and despair.
Reading a book about STEALTH... written by THOSE submarines? The ones that gallivant around shouting at the top of their lungs about being 'knights of the undersea'?
How in the blazes did this happen?
-=-
A/N - And just so you know... unbeknownst to Hermione, HMS Upholder is STILL IN THE CASTLE demonstrating the techniques contained within her book to show Hermione that, yes, while they all come with cute little illustrated pictures... most of what the book teaches actually work in the context of sneaking through a castle full of 'not so evil' wizards.
Hm, I wonder what would happen when Upholder inevitably runs into the increased security measures that Harry's friends have placed around Hogwarts? That'll be a true test of Upholder's abilities, I'd think!
A very, very quick and short followup to the latest Ham and Cheese Sub snip.
-=-
Sometime much, much later...
-=-
Hermione Granger, stared at the object in her hands with pure, undisguised fury. The intensity of her glare was so strong that, Hermione could have set fire to it if she wanted to... and considering Hermione was both a witch in training and a ship girl of her majesty's royal navy, this was not beyond the realm of possibility.
Of course, the bound, hardcover book she held was an inanimate object that cared not for her fury, and simply remained where it was in her hands without the slightest care in the world. Indeed, the copy of 'Ship Girl Infiltration Tactics and Strategy for Absolute Beginners, 1st Edition Limited Print', which was collectively authored by a bunch of complete idiots under the pen name 'THE VALIANT KNIGHTS OF THE DEEP BLUE UNDERSEA!', was much like it's authors in that regard.
As in, it didn't give a damn about what Hermione, or anyone else for that matter, wanted and did it's own thing.
On one hand, she wanted to chuck the offending tome in to the great lake (or burn it, or put it through a shredder, or some other destructive metbod of disposal) and be done with the damned thing. It was readily apparent to Hermione who was behind this book, and she had a gut feeling that keeping it around could possibly ensnare her in whatever harebrained plot the submarines had cooked up for her. Common sense would have her get rid of it before something disastrous happened.
On the other hand, it was a book... and an authentic first edition collectable, published by Penguin of all people. How the submarines had managed to get Britain's largest publishing house swept up in their little schemes, she didn't know. However, the book lover in her couldn't bear to get rid of the tome despite the threat it posed.
Then there was the little, inquisitive part of Hermione Granger that wanted to read the book to divine whatever secrets contained within...
Decisions, decisions.
"Wow, Hermione. I didn't know there was a book on ship girl covert operations," Harry said as he came up to where she was sitting in a quiet corner of the Gryffindor common room, "And it's published by Penguin Books too. I thought they mostly did fictional stuff like the classics and children's books."
"This is a children's book, Harry." Hermione flipped the book about to show Harry the illustrated cover, which had a brightly colored photograph of HMS Upholder in a conspicuous looking trench coat and fedora conspicuously trying to sneak through the front entrance of some old, medieval castle.
"Wha-"
"I had a look through the reviews on Amazon," Hermione grumbled, flipping the book back around so that she could continue to glare at the cover, "The whole thing is penned, and I quote 'like a satire'. It offers tips and tricks for a hypothetical young ship girl trying to, and I further quote, 'infiltrate a castle full of evil dark wizards for great justice'."
"Oh, so it's just a humor thing?" Harry said with a shrug.
"Penguin seems to have thought so. Not sure about the Submarines. My guess is the Submarines must have sent them the manuscript in their... usual way of communicating. The editors took it the only way a sensible person would," Hermione shook her head in disbelief, "I can't believe the submarines managed to pen a bestselling book. Over two hundred thousand copies sold, on the first day! How in the world...?"
"Hey, you know how much people are fascinated by ship girls. I bet a pencil drawing made by a ship girl would sell on eBay," Harry pointed out in jest, "Where did you get it, anyway? Did you sisters send you a copy through the owl post?"
"It was on my pillow, next to my head, when I woke up this morning," Hermione said simply, "It had a post it note stuck to the front from HMS Upholder saying how she used the stuff in the book to deliver it to me, and how I needed to study this to become a better at... stealthy stuff."
Harry paused. "Wait a moment. You found it next to your head when you woke up? And it wasn't there when you went to bed before?"
"No, no it was most assuredly NOT," Hermione confirmed with a growl, "So. From what I gather, Upholder snuck into my dorm room, which I share with several other people, in the middle of the night, hand delivered a copy of this book on ship girl infiltration techniques to me while I was sleeping, and then left with no one the wiser that she was even there. Harry... do you know what this means?"
A completely stumped Harry shook his head.
"That means that, whatever cheery nonsense this book looks like, there is a very high possibility that the information it has is correct, the techniques in it work... and this means it might be worth my time to read the damn thing!" Hermione dropped her head in her hands and gave a loud groan of utter frustration and despair.
Reading a book about STEALTH... written by THOSE submarines? The ones that gallivant around shouting at the top of their lungs about being 'knights of the undersea'?
How in the blazes did this happen?
-=-
A/N - And just so you know... unbeknownst to Hermione, HMS Upholder is STILL IN THE CASTLE demonstrating the techniques contained within her book to show Hermione that, yes, while they all come with cute little illustrated pictures... most of what the book teaches actually work in the context of sneaking through a castle full of 'not so evil' wizards.
Hm, I wonder what would happen when Upholder inevitably runs into the increased security measures that Harry's friends have placed around Hogwarts? That'll be a true test of Upholder's abilities, I'd think!