FoL Burning Questions
darthcourt10
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Savato93
Finally worked this entry out in a manner that I'm satisfied with. I hope you guys are okay with it.
Burning Questions
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Regalia stared at the bonfire, deep in thought.
For much of the time she'd spent in Japan, she'd tried her best not to think too much about the prospect of being repaired. All it did was leave her feeling constantly conflicted about something, while bringing her no closer to a decision. But ever since Uncle Harry had declared his support for her, regardless of what she chose to do, she just couldn't stop thinking about it. She could no longer doubt Grandma's skill after what she'd seen, that much was certain. No, her troubles lay within herself—her fears; her uncertainty, her self-image. Rivet's story had managed to pull her thoughts from the matter, albeit briefly, and for that she was thankful. But at the same time, it gave her something new to ponder.
Regalia looked over towards Ruadri, who was talking with a pair of her half-human cousins nearby. Before now, she never would have guessed that her aunt had been adopted into their family, that she'd been horribly mutilated. She just seemed so… normal. Regalia had never seen her treated any different by the rest of her aunts. Although, Rivet's story did somewhat explain some of Ruadri's eccentricities; her devotion to her sister Tanith, her reverence for her mother, her uncanny ability to bond with destroyers…
But on top of that… she also looked normal. There were no visible signs anywhere on her body to hint towards the trauma she'd been through; her eyes were bright and lively, and her hugs were just as warm and soft as everyone else's. Was this a sign of Grandma's true capabilities? To replace body parts so accurately, as if they'd never been lost in the first place? To not even leave a trace of her work behind?
Would she be able to do the same for her?
Stepping forward, Regalia cleared her throat. "Aunt Ruadri?"
Ruadri's gaze flickered towards Regalia, and she gave her a small nod before she looked back over the children. "Aunt Rudy needs to have a talk with her other niece. You kids should probably get back to your parents and get ready to go to bed." Though disappointed by story time coming to an end, the children did as they were told, wandering off to find their mother. Her audience departed, Ruadri turned to face the Re-class. "What is it, Regalia?"
"Yeah." Regalia nodded as she fiddled with her hands. "I, ah… I just wanted to talk about something with you. Is that alright?"
Ruadri smiled. "Certainly. Come here, sit down. No need to stand up to have a conversation." The Re-class obliged, taking a seat in front of her. "So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" she continued.
Regalia bit her lip, thinking about how to start. "Earlier today… Rivet was telling me about everyone's life before the Great Scattering. It sounded… nice."
Ruadri hummed thoughtfully. "Most of the time, it was. Dutch Harbor was no paradise… but we were happy. Plenty of living space for our whole fleet, uncontested seas, and a mother that was always striving to make time for each and every one of her children."
"Yeah…" Regalia paused. "But then… she told me about you. How you were adopted into this fleet."
Ruadri was quiet. Gradually, her smile shifted from mirthful to melancholic. "…so, Rivet told you about that." When Regalia nodded, she sighed softly. "I wish she could have warned me beforehand."
Regalia looked away, sheepish. "Sorry."
Ruadri shook her head. "No, it's fine. I was just caught off-guard, is all. I tend not to think too much of those early days, anymore. It brings back the heartache from what we've lost."
Relieved she hadn't touched a nerve, the Re-class leaned back against her tail. "It's just… I had no idea." She gestured to the other Abyssals. "All these years, nobody's ever mentioned it, not even Mom. That you were rescued, taken in by Grandma. I've never heard any of them refer to you as anything other than a sister."
"…I suppose that knowledge has been more or less forgotten." Ruadri chuckled softly. "But then again… why do you think that is?"
Thinking about it, the answer came quite easily, really. "…Because you are their sister, where it counts?"
"Exactly." The warmth began to creep back into Ruadri's smile. "I've been a part of this family far longer than I was a part of my original fleet. It doesn't matter that Mother wasn't my birth-mother, that Tanith and the others aren't my original kin. That doesn't make our love for each other any less real, the happy moments we've shared any less significant. So what if we're not family by blood? We're family by bond. Just like Mother, with Uncle Harry and Miss Nagato. That's what matters most."
She was absolutely right, Regalia thought. Miss Nagato didn't create Grandma and Uncle Harry, not like Mom created her… but as far as anyone was concerned, they were her children, and she was their mother. And although Grandma's kids had barely known him, Uncle Harry had extended his love and kindness to them all without hesitation, completely ignoring the fact that they were two entirely separate species. Even Regalia herself, despite her deformity.
Speaking of deformity…
Regalia looked back to Ruadri. "The way Rivet put it, you were a mess when you arrived at the harbor. Arms gone, eyes ruined…" She pointed to the Ru-class. "But you look fine. Like nothing ever happened to you. No scars at all. Is Grandma really that good with repairs?"
Ruadri was silent for a few seconds. Then, she huffed. "Not all scars are as apparent as you might think." She leaned in towards Regalia. "Consider this: do you think anything is… off about my eyes?"
Confused, Regalia peered into her aunt's gaze, trying to look for something, anything. After several seconds, she shook her head. "…No, I can't really tell if something's wrong with them. What am I supposed to be seeing?"
"The answer's simple, really: they don't glow." Ruadri leaned back, blinking her golden eyes. "Elite- and flagship-level Abyssals, their eyes have… something of an inner light to them. A sign of their power. Not as intense as what Sunny has, but enough that you can notice if you pay attention." Ruadri gestured to her face. "The eyes I have now… they just weren't the eyes I was born with. They are perfectly functional, but my body will never be quite as in-tune with them as my original pair. So, while I may be a flagship, my eyes will never glow like my sisters' do."
Regalia cocked her head, blinking herself. "Huh… I guess that IS pretty hard to notice." She glanced to Ruadri's arms. "And your hands? What's off about them?"
The Ru-class held up her arms, looking at them. "The damage to my main battery was… extensive, to say the least. The Re-class that did it to me… she was trying to rip my guns out of my hull completely, but the trunks broke off inside. Warped my turret rings severely and wrecked the surrounding substructure. The damage was so severe, Mother had to cut it all away and replace it."
Regalia joined her aunt in staring at her arms. "I guess that made it easier to hide the scarring?"
"…Not exactly." Ruadri glanced at the gathering around them. After a few seconds, seemingly satisfied by what she saw (or didn't see), she turned back to Regalia. "This may be a bit startling—and Mother would lay into me for damaging this stuff deliberately if she caught me—but…" The Ru-class gripped her upper arm and started pulling at it, digging in with her nails. Before Regalia could ask what she was doing, a soft rip was heard as her fingers tore into the skin.
Regalia jerked back in shock as Ruadri peeled her own flesh away… revealing the soft glint of Abyssal metal underneath.
"You want to see scars? Good luck topping this." Setting the removed skin aside, Ruadri twisted and flexed the exposed bones of her arm, listening for the soft clinking of her metallic fingertips tapping together. "Mother was able to repurpose what she cut away to reconstruct my armor belt, but the rest of my main battery was physically gone, sitting on the seabed somewhere in the Pacific. She had to replace them with her own materials."
Regalia paled. "And they came out looking like that!?"
"Not deliberately." Ruadri sighed. "When I awoke from my repairs, Mother was there. She told me that… she'd tried to give me new arms, exactly like my original pair. But the flesh on them just… wouldn't stick. Every bit of tissue she connected to my body only lasted a few seconds before… it just detached. Fell off the arm entirely." She gestured to her skeletal arm. "The bones were the only thing that held. Even though it's enough to function, I still needed something to protect them."
The Re-class glanced at the discarded skin. "Just how far up does that go?"
In response, Ruadri tugged at the neck of her shirt, exposing the skin beneath—and the seams trailing from the base of her neck to either armpit. "At least it's easily concealed."
Regalia gingerly reached out and prodded the removed material. It felt so… so real. "What do you think caused it?"
"Mother has a rough idea of why it happened: she's not my birth-mother, so the flesh and blood she crafted herself was incompatible with my body. But she was utterly stumped as to how to solve the issue. She ended up covering the bones with latex, to at least give me normal-looking arms to live with while she searched for a workaround."
Regalia shuddered a bit. "…well, she did a great job making them convincing."
"That, she did." Picking up the latex, she began to work it back onto her arm. "That you've never realized it in the years you've known me helps reinforce that fact."
"…Wow." Regalia looked to Ruadri's bare arm, then to her neck, before finally looking her in the eyes. "If… if I went through with it, let Grandma help me, what kind of scars do you think I'd have, after surgery?"
Ruadri shrugged. "I've only ever seen Mother do partial reconstructions—sheared-off bows and sterns, demolished superstructure, the like. Never a total rebuild like I suspect you would need. Who knows what sort of marks that would leave on your body?"
The Re-class looked down at herself, pondering. "That's… part of what worries me, about agreeing to a repair. I don't know if I'm… just trading one disfigurement for another." She traced nonexistent lines over her skin. "I may end up looking completely fine, sure… but what if I don't? What if I end up covered with seams and weld lines all over, from where all the bits of my hull are put back together? Would people still be able to look at me the same way as before? Would anyone even recognize me, underneath all the scarring?"
There was no answer. Regalia eventually looked up to find Ruadri giving her a half-lidded stare. "…What?"
The Ru-class shook her head, eyes closed. "Regalia, do you REALLY think any of us are worried about scars? That we'd love you any less if your skin was no longer unblemished?" Reaching out, she tapped the Re-class on her hunched back. "Think about it; we've put up with that up to this point, haven't we?"
A guilty look on her face, Regalia stared at the ground. "…yeah. I guess so."
Ruadri gripped her shoulder gently. "You're worrying too much about the little things. So what if you go through the repair and end up having some scars? We don't care—we've been to WAR. We ALL have scars… physical and otherwise." Her expression softened. "They're a sign of all the hardships we've endured, managed to overcome. For an Abyssal to have lived as long as you have, with your condition? To come this far, not only without giving in to despair, but growing beyond your purpose as a weapon of war? Your scars would tell one hell of a story. And if people can't respect that…" She smirked. "Well, then they're just idiots."
"You really think that?"
"Of course. Talking from experience, here." Ruadri wiggled her still-partially exposed arm. "Just keep this in mind: scars aren't always bad. They can show others that you've been through Hell—and came out the other side stronger for it. Okay?"
After a moment, Regalia slowly nodded. "…Yeah, okay. I think I understand." She rose to her feet. "Thanks for talking with me, Aunt Ruadri."
"No problem. You have a good night, now."
As the Re-class walked off, Ruadri returned to her task of getting the latex skin back into place, thinking. Regalia was a sweet girl, but sometimes she needed things explained from a perspective her mother alone just couldn't provide. Ruadri wasn't too put off by the sudden reminder of her troubled past; if it meant she had a chance to teach Regalia an important lesson, she was all for it.
She just needed to have a chat with Rivet about bringing up other peoples' private matters—
Ruadri froze as the sound of a child clearing their throat came from directly behind her. Turning around, she saw Hoppou standing there, a disapproving look on her face. "Ruadri tore up sleeve Hoppou made for her…?" She asked, giving her adopted daughter an accusatory stare.
Gaze flickering between her mother and the torn latex on her arm, Ruadri began to break out in a cold sweat. "Uhh… Mother, please, I can explain…"
"Bad Ruadri!"
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"Wait Mommy NO-EEP!"
Blinking, Tanith sat up. "What was that…?"
She scanned her surroundings, searching for the source of the outburst. What she found was a sight she hadn't seen in years—Mother walking off with a grumpy look, holding one of her children high over her head. "Mommy, please put me down!" Ruadri whined, all sense of composure lost as she covered up her face in embarrassment. "I can walk by myself!"
"Hoppou needs to talk to Ruadri alone, remind her that it's not nice to ruin stuff Hoppou gave her." Hoppou stated, pausing to shift her grip on the battleship. "Can't have Ruadri running away from punishment!"
"But I'm a good girl, I won't run away, honest!"
"Better safe than sorry, Hoppou thinks."
"…oh god I can't believe you're doing this in front of everybody…" the Ru-class moaned weakly as Mother carried her off. The few paying attention to the debacle couldn't help but feel a little bad for Ruadri, Tanith included—make no mistake, though, they were not above having a quick laugh at her expense.
'Ruadri must have damaged her sleeves,' Tanith thought, stifling a chuckle. 'Only occasion I've ever seen Mother particularly cross with her.' Really, it was either a miracle or a testament to Mother's handiwork that the material covering Ruadri's arms had managed to remain intact through the entirety of their exile… Of course, right after they found Mother again, she tore it. At the very least, it didn't seem like anyone else had spotted just what she was being scolded for—however accepting they may be, skeletal arms were probably a little unnerving to people.
She glanced down at her own arms. Beneath the hefty metallic gauntlets, almost as wide around as her thighs, her arms were the same as Ruadri's. However, she lacked her sister's prosthetic skin to cover up the overly-sensitive bones, meaning taking them off was uncomfortable at best. Still, she'd be lying if she said the size of her arms didn't present issues every now and then… and she often gave herself a headache trying to figure out just how the hell her elbows worked.
Maybe she could see if Mother could make something for her, as well…
"Mom?"
Tanith looked up from her gauntlets. Her daughter stood in front of her, a look of contemplation on her face. "Is something wrong, Regalia?"
Regalia glanced over to Harry, where he sat alongside several of the other Abyssals. "I… I talked with Uncle Harry, a little while ago. About you, Grandma, my keel. He told me some stuff that… I just can't stop thinking about." The Re-class sat down next to Tanith, hugging her knees. "Can you help me?"
Tanith gently wrapped an arm around her daughter. "Of course. If it allows you… to feel more comfortable… I would be glad to listen." She turned to observe the bonfire in front of them, watching the flames flicker and wave in the air. "Is there… anything in particular you… want to discuss?"
"Well… kinda." Regalia looked up to her mother, a soft expression on her face. "Mom… all that stuff you said, back home… when you were telling me Grandma could heal me… did you really mean it? Do you really just want to… help me be happy?"
Beside her, Tanith nodded slowly. "Yes. Regalia, I would never… want anything that would… bring you suffering. How could I ever… call myself your mother… if I did?" Looking up, she gazed out to sea. "Our island has always… been your home. But for me and my sisters… it was a prison… of our own making. Our punishment… for the crime of desiring peace… and our failure to keep Mother safe. You did not inherit our sins… but regardless, you inherited our sentence." She looked back to her daughter. "You did not deserve that. You deserve to be free. To walk away from this war. To experience this… extraordinary world beyond our shores. Don't you want that?"
Regalia was quiet for several seconds, thinking. "…yeah."
"And don't you want to… do it all under your own power?"
"…Maybe? I don't know. I just…" Regalia held a hand to her chest. "Is it really worth having myself cut open? What if something goes wrong? What if… my faults are too severe to be fixed?"
There was a sigh from the princess. "Regalia… if I was not absolutely certain… that Mother could heal you… give you a chance to truly live as the Abyssal you are… I would not dare ask her. I would never let you… come to harm… if I could help it. Even if it meant… refusing my mother's aid."
As the Abyssal I am… The words resonated in Regalia's mind. Looking out to the crowd, her gaze fell upon Harry, as he sat with the destroyers. "Uncle Harry… he told me that he was… jealous of me."
Tanith's head tilted lightly. "Jealous? Why?"
"His mother… his sister… friends… all of us. We're shipgirls. Abyssals. Spirits of the sea. But Uncle Harry… he's human. He can't experience the ocean the way they all do. He's a bit like me in that way…" Regalia slipped out from underneath her mother's arm and wrapped her own arms around it. "But… I can be repaired. Given the chance to finally ride the waves like a ship spirit should. Uncle Harry… he'll never know what it's like. He doesn't have that chance."
"…I see." Tanith replied simply, thoughtful.
"It just… doesn't seem fair," Regalia said. "He's such an amazing person. Kind, accepting, wise… but he's denied so much."
There was a sigh from the princess. "The world is not… a fair place. Our lost home… our fallen sisters… your keel… are all proof of that." Looking out at her sisters, gathered around the bonfire, Tanith's gaze settled on one in particular. "Uncle Harry is not alone… in his misfortune, you know."
"Huh?"
Raising a hand, Tanith pointed to one of the Ta-classes—one with a pair of children resting in her lap. "Tandy. Her son. He may be the… child of an Abyssal… but he is not himself one."
"Really…?" Eyes wide, Regalia focused on the boy. True to her mother's word, she saw no hull beneath his skin—not like the pair of battleships he laid with.
Tanith sighed softly. "He will have a… connection to the sea… that few could hope to match… but in the end, he is only human. He will grow up… grow old… pass on to the next life… while his flesh-and-blood sister… will join us on the seas. It is the same for his father… for Uncle Harry… for all humans."
Tanith watched her daughter's face contort in pain—a pain of the soul, of realizing people she cared about were actually a lot worse off than her. "That's… that's just not right."
"And what can we do… to fix it?" Tanith shook her head sadly. "Sometimes… things are simply… beyond our control. There is nothing we can do… but accept it and move on. I think… Uncle Harry understands this. He is at peace… with his shortcomings. And he is determined… to make the most… of the life he's been given. As we all should."
She looked to her daughter. "Before all this… before we found Mother again… I was convinced… this was true for you. That I could do nothing… to help you heal. But now… now, there is SOMETHING we can do… to right this wrong." She rested her hand on Regalia's thigh. "To give you the chance… to make the most of your own life."
The Re-class was silent, thinking to herself. "…maybe… maybe it would be wrong of me, not to let myself be healed. Live my life to the fullest," she eventually said. "For their sake, if not my own."
"I cannot tell you… if it is right or wrong… to refuse Mother's help. That is for you to decide."
"…Mm."
For a time, the pair was quiet, content to watch the bonfire reach to the stars in front of them. Eventually, Regalia spoke once more. "Do you ever… regret it? Making me?"
After a brief hesitation, Tanith nodded. "…I did… exactly once." Gently removing her arm from Regalia's grip, Tanith brought it around the shoulders of the Re-class and pulled her close. "And then I saw your face… for the first time."
The Re-class stared at her mother for a moment before snorting. "That's silly…" she giggled, nuzzling up against her mom.
"What? It's the truth."
"I know." Nestled against her mother, Regalia let out a yawn. "I know."
As sleep slowly began to take hold of the girl, she continued to think.
This life of hers… it wasn't a bad one, all thing considered. A peaceful home, a loving family, and a job she both enjoyed and could help her fleet with. She was at peace with her differences, accepted that she'd never quite measure up to other Abyssals. And now, she was free, free to see the world beyond her little island.
But suddenly, her life seemed a little… less than it could be. Her screws simply weren't up to the task of driving her deformed hull across the seas that covered so much of the world; just like humans—like Uncle Harry—she could only go as far as her feet could take her. In the end, she was just as much ship as she was girl, and that inability to do what ships were made to do… there was no other way for her to put it, it just felt wrong.
But Grandma was here. She could fix her, put her back together, the way she was meant to be. Make her normal… while Uncle Harry, her cousin, and who knows how many others, would remain fundamentally different, incapable of seeing the world, experiencing it like they did. This opportunity was for her alone; nobody else in her family had the chance she had. Despite that, Uncle Harry was ready to support her, no matter what she chose to do—even if she chose to embrace this opportunity, to truly become what he could never hope to be.
Knowing that… it just didn't seem fair to refuse it, anymore.
"Mom…" Regalia said softly, as she started to drift off.
"Yes?"
"I'll… I'll do it."
"…Okay."
Nothing more needed to be said.
Finally worked this entry out in a manner that I'm satisfied with. I hope you guys are okay with it.
Burning Questions
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Regalia stared at the bonfire, deep in thought.
For much of the time she'd spent in Japan, she'd tried her best not to think too much about the prospect of being repaired. All it did was leave her feeling constantly conflicted about something, while bringing her no closer to a decision. But ever since Uncle Harry had declared his support for her, regardless of what she chose to do, she just couldn't stop thinking about it. She could no longer doubt Grandma's skill after what she'd seen, that much was certain. No, her troubles lay within herself—her fears; her uncertainty, her self-image. Rivet's story had managed to pull her thoughts from the matter, albeit briefly, and for that she was thankful. But at the same time, it gave her something new to ponder.
Regalia looked over towards Ruadri, who was talking with a pair of her half-human cousins nearby. Before now, she never would have guessed that her aunt had been adopted into their family, that she'd been horribly mutilated. She just seemed so… normal. Regalia had never seen her treated any different by the rest of her aunts. Although, Rivet's story did somewhat explain some of Ruadri's eccentricities; her devotion to her sister Tanith, her reverence for her mother, her uncanny ability to bond with destroyers…
But on top of that… she also looked normal. There were no visible signs anywhere on her body to hint towards the trauma she'd been through; her eyes were bright and lively, and her hugs were just as warm and soft as everyone else's. Was this a sign of Grandma's true capabilities? To replace body parts so accurately, as if they'd never been lost in the first place? To not even leave a trace of her work behind?
Would she be able to do the same for her?
Stepping forward, Regalia cleared her throat. "Aunt Ruadri?"
Ruadri's gaze flickered towards Regalia, and she gave her a small nod before she looked back over the children. "Aunt Rudy needs to have a talk with her other niece. You kids should probably get back to your parents and get ready to go to bed." Though disappointed by story time coming to an end, the children did as they were told, wandering off to find their mother. Her audience departed, Ruadri turned to face the Re-class. "What is it, Regalia?"
"Yeah." Regalia nodded as she fiddled with her hands. "I, ah… I just wanted to talk about something with you. Is that alright?"
Ruadri smiled. "Certainly. Come here, sit down. No need to stand up to have a conversation." The Re-class obliged, taking a seat in front of her. "So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" she continued.
Regalia bit her lip, thinking about how to start. "Earlier today… Rivet was telling me about everyone's life before the Great Scattering. It sounded… nice."
Ruadri hummed thoughtfully. "Most of the time, it was. Dutch Harbor was no paradise… but we were happy. Plenty of living space for our whole fleet, uncontested seas, and a mother that was always striving to make time for each and every one of her children."
"Yeah…" Regalia paused. "But then… she told me about you. How you were adopted into this fleet."
Ruadri was quiet. Gradually, her smile shifted from mirthful to melancholic. "…so, Rivet told you about that." When Regalia nodded, she sighed softly. "I wish she could have warned me beforehand."
Regalia looked away, sheepish. "Sorry."
Ruadri shook her head. "No, it's fine. I was just caught off-guard, is all. I tend not to think too much of those early days, anymore. It brings back the heartache from what we've lost."
Relieved she hadn't touched a nerve, the Re-class leaned back against her tail. "It's just… I had no idea." She gestured to the other Abyssals. "All these years, nobody's ever mentioned it, not even Mom. That you were rescued, taken in by Grandma. I've never heard any of them refer to you as anything other than a sister."
"…I suppose that knowledge has been more or less forgotten." Ruadri chuckled softly. "But then again… why do you think that is?"
Thinking about it, the answer came quite easily, really. "…Because you are their sister, where it counts?"
"Exactly." The warmth began to creep back into Ruadri's smile. "I've been a part of this family far longer than I was a part of my original fleet. It doesn't matter that Mother wasn't my birth-mother, that Tanith and the others aren't my original kin. That doesn't make our love for each other any less real, the happy moments we've shared any less significant. So what if we're not family by blood? We're family by bond. Just like Mother, with Uncle Harry and Miss Nagato. That's what matters most."
She was absolutely right, Regalia thought. Miss Nagato didn't create Grandma and Uncle Harry, not like Mom created her… but as far as anyone was concerned, they were her children, and she was their mother. And although Grandma's kids had barely known him, Uncle Harry had extended his love and kindness to them all without hesitation, completely ignoring the fact that they were two entirely separate species. Even Regalia herself, despite her deformity.
Speaking of deformity…
Regalia looked back to Ruadri. "The way Rivet put it, you were a mess when you arrived at the harbor. Arms gone, eyes ruined…" She pointed to the Ru-class. "But you look fine. Like nothing ever happened to you. No scars at all. Is Grandma really that good with repairs?"
Ruadri was silent for a few seconds. Then, she huffed. "Not all scars are as apparent as you might think." She leaned in towards Regalia. "Consider this: do you think anything is… off about my eyes?"
Confused, Regalia peered into her aunt's gaze, trying to look for something, anything. After several seconds, she shook her head. "…No, I can't really tell if something's wrong with them. What am I supposed to be seeing?"
"The answer's simple, really: they don't glow." Ruadri leaned back, blinking her golden eyes. "Elite- and flagship-level Abyssals, their eyes have… something of an inner light to them. A sign of their power. Not as intense as what Sunny has, but enough that you can notice if you pay attention." Ruadri gestured to her face. "The eyes I have now… they just weren't the eyes I was born with. They are perfectly functional, but my body will never be quite as in-tune with them as my original pair. So, while I may be a flagship, my eyes will never glow like my sisters' do."
Regalia cocked her head, blinking herself. "Huh… I guess that IS pretty hard to notice." She glanced to Ruadri's arms. "And your hands? What's off about them?"
The Ru-class held up her arms, looking at them. "The damage to my main battery was… extensive, to say the least. The Re-class that did it to me… she was trying to rip my guns out of my hull completely, but the trunks broke off inside. Warped my turret rings severely and wrecked the surrounding substructure. The damage was so severe, Mother had to cut it all away and replace it."
Regalia joined her aunt in staring at her arms. "I guess that made it easier to hide the scarring?"
"…Not exactly." Ruadri glanced at the gathering around them. After a few seconds, seemingly satisfied by what she saw (or didn't see), she turned back to Regalia. "This may be a bit startling—and Mother would lay into me for damaging this stuff deliberately if she caught me—but…" The Ru-class gripped her upper arm and started pulling at it, digging in with her nails. Before Regalia could ask what she was doing, a soft rip was heard as her fingers tore into the skin.
Regalia jerked back in shock as Ruadri peeled her own flesh away… revealing the soft glint of Abyssal metal underneath.
"You want to see scars? Good luck topping this." Setting the removed skin aside, Ruadri twisted and flexed the exposed bones of her arm, listening for the soft clinking of her metallic fingertips tapping together. "Mother was able to repurpose what she cut away to reconstruct my armor belt, but the rest of my main battery was physically gone, sitting on the seabed somewhere in the Pacific. She had to replace them with her own materials."
Regalia paled. "And they came out looking like that!?"
"Not deliberately." Ruadri sighed. "When I awoke from my repairs, Mother was there. She told me that… she'd tried to give me new arms, exactly like my original pair. But the flesh on them just… wouldn't stick. Every bit of tissue she connected to my body only lasted a few seconds before… it just detached. Fell off the arm entirely." She gestured to her skeletal arm. "The bones were the only thing that held. Even though it's enough to function, I still needed something to protect them."
The Re-class glanced at the discarded skin. "Just how far up does that go?"
In response, Ruadri tugged at the neck of her shirt, exposing the skin beneath—and the seams trailing from the base of her neck to either armpit. "At least it's easily concealed."
Regalia gingerly reached out and prodded the removed material. It felt so… so real. "What do you think caused it?"
"Mother has a rough idea of why it happened: she's not my birth-mother, so the flesh and blood she crafted herself was incompatible with my body. But she was utterly stumped as to how to solve the issue. She ended up covering the bones with latex, to at least give me normal-looking arms to live with while she searched for a workaround."
Regalia shuddered a bit. "…well, she did a great job making them convincing."
"That, she did." Picking up the latex, she began to work it back onto her arm. "That you've never realized it in the years you've known me helps reinforce that fact."
"…Wow." Regalia looked to Ruadri's bare arm, then to her neck, before finally looking her in the eyes. "If… if I went through with it, let Grandma help me, what kind of scars do you think I'd have, after surgery?"
Ruadri shrugged. "I've only ever seen Mother do partial reconstructions—sheared-off bows and sterns, demolished superstructure, the like. Never a total rebuild like I suspect you would need. Who knows what sort of marks that would leave on your body?"
The Re-class looked down at herself, pondering. "That's… part of what worries me, about agreeing to a repair. I don't know if I'm… just trading one disfigurement for another." She traced nonexistent lines over her skin. "I may end up looking completely fine, sure… but what if I don't? What if I end up covered with seams and weld lines all over, from where all the bits of my hull are put back together? Would people still be able to look at me the same way as before? Would anyone even recognize me, underneath all the scarring?"
There was no answer. Regalia eventually looked up to find Ruadri giving her a half-lidded stare. "…What?"
The Ru-class shook her head, eyes closed. "Regalia, do you REALLY think any of us are worried about scars? That we'd love you any less if your skin was no longer unblemished?" Reaching out, she tapped the Re-class on her hunched back. "Think about it; we've put up with that up to this point, haven't we?"
A guilty look on her face, Regalia stared at the ground. "…yeah. I guess so."
Ruadri gripped her shoulder gently. "You're worrying too much about the little things. So what if you go through the repair and end up having some scars? We don't care—we've been to WAR. We ALL have scars… physical and otherwise." Her expression softened. "They're a sign of all the hardships we've endured, managed to overcome. For an Abyssal to have lived as long as you have, with your condition? To come this far, not only without giving in to despair, but growing beyond your purpose as a weapon of war? Your scars would tell one hell of a story. And if people can't respect that…" She smirked. "Well, then they're just idiots."
"You really think that?"
"Of course. Talking from experience, here." Ruadri wiggled her still-partially exposed arm. "Just keep this in mind: scars aren't always bad. They can show others that you've been through Hell—and came out the other side stronger for it. Okay?"
After a moment, Regalia slowly nodded. "…Yeah, okay. I think I understand." She rose to her feet. "Thanks for talking with me, Aunt Ruadri."
"No problem. You have a good night, now."
As the Re-class walked off, Ruadri returned to her task of getting the latex skin back into place, thinking. Regalia was a sweet girl, but sometimes she needed things explained from a perspective her mother alone just couldn't provide. Ruadri wasn't too put off by the sudden reminder of her troubled past; if it meant she had a chance to teach Regalia an important lesson, she was all for it.
She just needed to have a chat with Rivet about bringing up other peoples' private matters—
Ruadri froze as the sound of a child clearing their throat came from directly behind her. Turning around, she saw Hoppou standing there, a disapproving look on her face. "Ruadri tore up sleeve Hoppou made for her…?" She asked, giving her adopted daughter an accusatory stare.
Gaze flickering between her mother and the torn latex on her arm, Ruadri began to break out in a cold sweat. "Uhh… Mother, please, I can explain…"
"Bad Ruadri!"
XXXXXXXXXX
"Wait Mommy NO-EEP!"
Blinking, Tanith sat up. "What was that…?"
She scanned her surroundings, searching for the source of the outburst. What she found was a sight she hadn't seen in years—Mother walking off with a grumpy look, holding one of her children high over her head. "Mommy, please put me down!" Ruadri whined, all sense of composure lost as she covered up her face in embarrassment. "I can walk by myself!"
"Hoppou needs to talk to Ruadri alone, remind her that it's not nice to ruin stuff Hoppou gave her." Hoppou stated, pausing to shift her grip on the battleship. "Can't have Ruadri running away from punishment!"
"But I'm a good girl, I won't run away, honest!"
"Better safe than sorry, Hoppou thinks."
"…oh god I can't believe you're doing this in front of everybody…" the Ru-class moaned weakly as Mother carried her off. The few paying attention to the debacle couldn't help but feel a little bad for Ruadri, Tanith included—make no mistake, though, they were not above having a quick laugh at her expense.
'Ruadri must have damaged her sleeves,' Tanith thought, stifling a chuckle. 'Only occasion I've ever seen Mother particularly cross with her.' Really, it was either a miracle or a testament to Mother's handiwork that the material covering Ruadri's arms had managed to remain intact through the entirety of their exile… Of course, right after they found Mother again, she tore it. At the very least, it didn't seem like anyone else had spotted just what she was being scolded for—however accepting they may be, skeletal arms were probably a little unnerving to people.
She glanced down at her own arms. Beneath the hefty metallic gauntlets, almost as wide around as her thighs, her arms were the same as Ruadri's. However, she lacked her sister's prosthetic skin to cover up the overly-sensitive bones, meaning taking them off was uncomfortable at best. Still, she'd be lying if she said the size of her arms didn't present issues every now and then… and she often gave herself a headache trying to figure out just how the hell her elbows worked.
Maybe she could see if Mother could make something for her, as well…
"Mom?"
Tanith looked up from her gauntlets. Her daughter stood in front of her, a look of contemplation on her face. "Is something wrong, Regalia?"
Regalia glanced over to Harry, where he sat alongside several of the other Abyssals. "I… I talked with Uncle Harry, a little while ago. About you, Grandma, my keel. He told me some stuff that… I just can't stop thinking about." The Re-class sat down next to Tanith, hugging her knees. "Can you help me?"
Tanith gently wrapped an arm around her daughter. "Of course. If it allows you… to feel more comfortable… I would be glad to listen." She turned to observe the bonfire in front of them, watching the flames flicker and wave in the air. "Is there… anything in particular you… want to discuss?"
"Well… kinda." Regalia looked up to her mother, a soft expression on her face. "Mom… all that stuff you said, back home… when you were telling me Grandma could heal me… did you really mean it? Do you really just want to… help me be happy?"
Beside her, Tanith nodded slowly. "Yes. Regalia, I would never… want anything that would… bring you suffering. How could I ever… call myself your mother… if I did?" Looking up, she gazed out to sea. "Our island has always… been your home. But for me and my sisters… it was a prison… of our own making. Our punishment… for the crime of desiring peace… and our failure to keep Mother safe. You did not inherit our sins… but regardless, you inherited our sentence." She looked back to her daughter. "You did not deserve that. You deserve to be free. To walk away from this war. To experience this… extraordinary world beyond our shores. Don't you want that?"
Regalia was quiet for several seconds, thinking. "…yeah."
"And don't you want to… do it all under your own power?"
"…Maybe? I don't know. I just…" Regalia held a hand to her chest. "Is it really worth having myself cut open? What if something goes wrong? What if… my faults are too severe to be fixed?"
There was a sigh from the princess. "Regalia… if I was not absolutely certain… that Mother could heal you… give you a chance to truly live as the Abyssal you are… I would not dare ask her. I would never let you… come to harm… if I could help it. Even if it meant… refusing my mother's aid."
As the Abyssal I am… The words resonated in Regalia's mind. Looking out to the crowd, her gaze fell upon Harry, as he sat with the destroyers. "Uncle Harry… he told me that he was… jealous of me."
Tanith's head tilted lightly. "Jealous? Why?"
"His mother… his sister… friends… all of us. We're shipgirls. Abyssals. Spirits of the sea. But Uncle Harry… he's human. He can't experience the ocean the way they all do. He's a bit like me in that way…" Regalia slipped out from underneath her mother's arm and wrapped her own arms around it. "But… I can be repaired. Given the chance to finally ride the waves like a ship spirit should. Uncle Harry… he'll never know what it's like. He doesn't have that chance."
"…I see." Tanith replied simply, thoughtful.
"It just… doesn't seem fair," Regalia said. "He's such an amazing person. Kind, accepting, wise… but he's denied so much."
There was a sigh from the princess. "The world is not… a fair place. Our lost home… our fallen sisters… your keel… are all proof of that." Looking out at her sisters, gathered around the bonfire, Tanith's gaze settled on one in particular. "Uncle Harry is not alone… in his misfortune, you know."
"Huh?"
Raising a hand, Tanith pointed to one of the Ta-classes—one with a pair of children resting in her lap. "Tandy. Her son. He may be the… child of an Abyssal… but he is not himself one."
"Really…?" Eyes wide, Regalia focused on the boy. True to her mother's word, she saw no hull beneath his skin—not like the pair of battleships he laid with.
Tanith sighed softly. "He will have a… connection to the sea… that few could hope to match… but in the end, he is only human. He will grow up… grow old… pass on to the next life… while his flesh-and-blood sister… will join us on the seas. It is the same for his father… for Uncle Harry… for all humans."
Tanith watched her daughter's face contort in pain—a pain of the soul, of realizing people she cared about were actually a lot worse off than her. "That's… that's just not right."
"And what can we do… to fix it?" Tanith shook her head sadly. "Sometimes… things are simply… beyond our control. There is nothing we can do… but accept it and move on. I think… Uncle Harry understands this. He is at peace… with his shortcomings. And he is determined… to make the most… of the life he's been given. As we all should."
She looked to her daughter. "Before all this… before we found Mother again… I was convinced… this was true for you. That I could do nothing… to help you heal. But now… now, there is SOMETHING we can do… to right this wrong." She rested her hand on Regalia's thigh. "To give you the chance… to make the most of your own life."
The Re-class was silent, thinking to herself. "…maybe… maybe it would be wrong of me, not to let myself be healed. Live my life to the fullest," she eventually said. "For their sake, if not my own."
"I cannot tell you… if it is right or wrong… to refuse Mother's help. That is for you to decide."
"…Mm."
For a time, the pair was quiet, content to watch the bonfire reach to the stars in front of them. Eventually, Regalia spoke once more. "Do you ever… regret it? Making me?"
After a brief hesitation, Tanith nodded. "…I did… exactly once." Gently removing her arm from Regalia's grip, Tanith brought it around the shoulders of the Re-class and pulled her close. "And then I saw your face… for the first time."
The Re-class stared at her mother for a moment before snorting. "That's silly…" she giggled, nuzzling up against her mom.
"What? It's the truth."
"I know." Nestled against her mother, Regalia let out a yawn. "I know."
As sleep slowly began to take hold of the girl, she continued to think.
This life of hers… it wasn't a bad one, all thing considered. A peaceful home, a loving family, and a job she both enjoyed and could help her fleet with. She was at peace with her differences, accepted that she'd never quite measure up to other Abyssals. And now, she was free, free to see the world beyond her little island.
But suddenly, her life seemed a little… less than it could be. Her screws simply weren't up to the task of driving her deformed hull across the seas that covered so much of the world; just like humans—like Uncle Harry—she could only go as far as her feet could take her. In the end, she was just as much ship as she was girl, and that inability to do what ships were made to do… there was no other way for her to put it, it just felt wrong.
But Grandma was here. She could fix her, put her back together, the way she was meant to be. Make her normal… while Uncle Harry, her cousin, and who knows how many others, would remain fundamentally different, incapable of seeing the world, experiencing it like they did. This opportunity was for her alone; nobody else in her family had the chance she had. Despite that, Uncle Harry was ready to support her, no matter what she chose to do—even if she chose to embrace this opportunity, to truly become what he could never hope to be.
Knowing that… it just didn't seem fair to refuse it, anymore.
"Mom…" Regalia said softly, as she started to drift off.
"Yes?"
"I'll… I'll do it."
"…Okay."
Nothing more needed to be said.