How I Saved History (Fate/Grand Order SI)

[Charles Flynn]

See,,, there is a bit of dissonance / perspective bias between actual myth with Nasu's Myth.

What with 'King Arthur' is actually 'King Arturia', and that Medea does that shit since the gods made her fell in love with Jason. In fact, it's Nasu's Canon that Medea's bitterness is that the gods make her fell in love with Jason, and forcing her to do those atrocities, and then just throwing her away the moment it's convenient for him.

Just saying.

Click to shrink...

True. But it's equally canonical that the primary reason he left her was those atrocities.

And I don't seem to remember her being under any divinely cast mental interference when she murdered Glauce/Creusa and her own children, instead of the person who had actually wronged her.

 

[gaouw]

True. But it's equally canonical that the primary reason he left her was those atrocities.

And I don't seem to remember her being under any divinely cast mental interference when she murdered Glauce/Creusa and her own children, instead of the person who had actually wronged her.

Click to shrink...

I don't actually had Nasu's Medea's lore verbatim off the top of my head.

But, IIRC, at that point Medea has passed the 'Then Let Me Be Evil' point.

So, yeah...

Keep in mind that Nasu really liked to flip expectations and norms on it's head.

Especially if it results in tragically fated Heroine-s, or, well, simply Waifus.

Just saying.

===

Edit:

It's actually similar in case with Medusa's story.

Yanno, the tragic circumstances making tragic heroines thing.

And Sakura, of course. And Artoria, Jeanne, and other waifus.

He really had a tragic waifus fetish.

 

[Charles Flynn]

I don't actually had Nasu's Medea's lore verbatim off the top of my head.

But, IIRC, at that point Medea has passed the 'Then Let Me Be Evil' point.

So, yeah...

Keep in mind that Nasu really liked to flip expectations and norms on it's head.

Especially if it results in tragically fated Heroine-s, or, well, simply Waifus.

Just saying.

===

Edit:

It's actually similar in case with Medusa's story.

Yanno, the tragic circumstances making tragic heroines thing.

And Sakura, of course. And Artoria, Jeanne, and other waifus.

He really had a tragic waifus fetish.

Click to shrink...

I won't deny that it's tragic. But it's not even remotely Jason's fault. Further, from her actions after being released from it, I'm still not entirely sure that Aphrodite's love spell was entirely the reason she went to such extremes. It might have simply been a More Than Mind Control situation, not capable of making you do anything you wouldn't normally do.

Beyond that, after her killing spree, I have absolutely no sympathy for her. She had opportunities and abilities that no other woman in Greece could claim at her fingertips, and yet her immediate reaction was the vicious murder of people who did her no harm.

 

[gaouw]

I won't deny that it's tragic. But it's not even remotely Jason's fault. Further, from her actions after being released from it, I'm still not entirely sure that Aphrodite's love spell was entirely the reason she went to such extremes. It might have simply been a More Than Mind Control situation, not capable of making you do anything you wouldn't normally do.

Beyond that, after her killing spree, I have absolutely no sympathy for her. She had opportunities and abilities that no other woman in Greece could claim at her fingertips, and yet her immediate reaction was the vicious murder of people who did her no harm.

Click to shrink...

Hey man, just read Medea's Wiki Page.

Seriously, the girl is fine and dandy before Aphrodite used her and Jason had the gall to leave her for the newer model.

Is it any wonder she goes the way she did?

Even her deepest wish is to had a second chance with her beloved. Which, in FSN, is Souichirou Kuzuki.

So she's far away from what you describe her as.

Not saying that your interpretation of her myth is wrong.

But since this is Nasuverse, an AU where Punchghost fight other Punchghost, the Myth is a tad different there.

 

[Charles Flynn]

Hey man, just read Medea's Wiki Page.

Seriously, the girl is fine and dandy before Aphrodite used her and Jason had the gall to leave her for the newer model.

Is it any wonder she goes the way she did?

Even her deepest wish is to had a second chance with her beloved. Which, in FSN, is Souichirou Kuzuki.

So she's far away from what you describe her as.

Not saying that your interpretation of her myth is wrong.

But since this is Nasuverse, an AU where Punchghost fight other Punchghost, the Myth is a tad different there.

Click to shrink...

True. Aphrodite made her a monster. But when she had a choice, on whether to move on with her life and start anew, or to double down and continue to be the monster she had become, she chose the latter. That is why I will never have any sympathy whatsoever for her.

 

[gaouw]

True. But it's equally canonical that the primary reason he left her was those atrocities.

And I don't seem to remember her being under any divinely cast mental interference when she murdered Glauce/Creusa and her own children, instead of the person who had actually wronged her.

Click to shrink...

And no.

In FSN, the reason Jason left Medea is to marry a princess of another Nation.

SHe then proceeded to slaughter the rest of the people that goes to the wedding other than Jason is just her breakdown point, methink.

 

[gaouw]

True. Aphrodite made her a monster. But when she had a choice, on whether to move on with her life and start anew, or to double down and continue to be the monster she had become, she chose the latter. That is why I will never have any sympathy whatsoever for her.

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Sure, like a Child Soldier that got recruited at gunpoint and then goes into active warzone for years and then got 'liberated' had a choice to move on with his life anew.

Even though war is all that he knew of.

I mean, Medea sure had a choice to move on after she is manipulated to betray her father, kill her own brother, and taking another kingdom for a man that she never met that she somehow loved with all her being and then leave her for another girl.

Sure. Medea had a choice after that. It's not like all the known world has known her as the Witch of Betrayal that commit the greatest sin of Kinslaying and is well known for being a traitorous witch after all.

Oh wait....

 

[Charles Flynn]

Sure, like a Child Soldier that got recruited at gunpoint and then goes into active warzone for years and then got 'liberated' had a choice to move on with his life anew.

Even though war is all that he knew of.

I mean, Medea sure had a choice to move on after she is manipulated to betray her father, kill her own brother, and taking another kingdom for a man that she never met that she somehow loved with all her being and then leave her for another girl.

Sure. Medea had a choice after that. It's not like all the known world has known her as the Witch of Betrayal that commit the greatest sin of Kinslaying and is well known for being a traitorous witch after all.

Oh wait....

Click to shrink...

She still got on well enough after leaving Jason, when she was still known as all that, and as the woman who'd murdered multiple people in cold blood, including her own children. When one is among the strongest magic users in the world, the employment opportunities are abundant.

I'm not saying she doesn't have her reasons. But those reasons don't remotely excuse what she did.

 

[gaouw]

She still got on well enough after leaving Jason, when she was still known as all that, and as the woman who'd murdered multiple people in cold blood, including her own children. When one is among the strongest magic users in the world, the employment opportunities are abundant.

I'm not saying she doesn't have her reasons. But those reasons don't remotely excuse what she did.

Click to shrink...

She's not leaving Jason.

Jason left her.

I can understand your reasoning if they split and then Jason get with the new gal (disregarding the ethics of mind controlling and ruining her life and leaving her to pick up the pieces of her life).

It's implied that Jason and Medea got away after the Argonauts mutiny, and then when they reached another kingdom (which, up to this point, Jason has managed to survive by depending on Medea's magic), the king take a shine to him and intending to marry him to his daughter.

And Jason accept.

There is no Jason left her and then marry. He left her FOR marriage with another girl.

Edit:

And I don't think Aphrodite ever lift her love spell on Medea until after Jason left her, if ever.

 

[Charles Flynn]

She's not leaving Jason.

Jason left her.

I can understand your reasoning if they split and then Jason get with the new gal (disregarding the ethics of mind controlling and ruining her life and leaving her to pick up the pieces of her life).

It's implied that Jason and Medea got away after the Argonauts mutiny, and then when they reached another kingdom (which, up to this point, Jason has managed to survive by depending on Medea's magic), the king take a shine to him and intending to marry him to his daughter.

And Jason accept.

There is no Jason left her and then marry. He left her FOR marriage with another girl.

Edit:

And I don't think Aphrodite ever lift her love spell on Medea until after Jason left her, if ever.

Click to shrink...

I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree. I won't ever like Medea, largely because she comes off as a serial killer who blames her actions exclusively on other people, and I wouldn't trust her as far as I can throw her.

 

[gaouw]

I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree. I won't ever like Medea, largely because she comes off as a serial killer who blames her actions exclusively on other people, and I wouldn't trust her as far as I can throw her.

Click to shrink...

I'm not disputing your preference.

I'm disputing your interpretation of her character that is obviously based on RL Myth.

Meanwhile, Medea, as a character in Nasu-verse had a different Origin Story compared to RL Myth.

That is all there is to it.

I mean, I have no intention whatsoever for waifu shaming.

I just dislike the inaccurate (inasmuch it pertains to Nasuverse lore) stated reason for your disliking her.

I have no intention to make you like her. I just said that your reasoning is inaccurate and that you're operating on faulty information.

In fact, this could be a character development for your SI, in which his knowledge of Myth as muggles hamstrung him. Like the way it already did with Nero.

Just saying.

 

[Charles Flynn]

I'm not disputing your preference.

I'm disputing your interpretation of her character that is obviously based on RL Myth.

Meanwhile, Medea, as a character in Nasu-verse had a different Origin Story compared to RL Myth.

That is all there is to it.

I mean, I have no intention whatsoever for waifu shaming.

I just dislike the inaccurate (inasmuch it pertains to Nasuverse lore) stated reason for your disliking her.

I have no intention to make you like her. I just said that your reasoning is inaccurate and that you're operating on faulty information.

In fact, this could be a character development for your SI, in which his knowledge of Myth as muggles hamstrung him. Like the way it already did with Nero.

Just saying.

Click to shrink...

Oh, trust me. with regards to Nero, he no longer dislikes her based on what he knew about her from his historical readings.

He now utterly loathes her entirely on her own merit.

 

[gaouw]

Oh, trust me. with regards to Nero, he no longer dislikes her based on what he knew about her from his historical readings.

He now utterly loathes her entirely on her own merit.

Click to shrink...

I would like to remind you that your character's perception of Nero as an incompetent idiot is also faulty.

FGO's Nero had a skill named Imperial Privilege: EX.

This skill basically says that since Nero is the Emperor, everything her citizen can do, she can do it too. After all, She is the Emperor.

In practice, this means that Nero can gain any other skill that she need on-demand in short order. It basically act as a discount Sharingan (inasmuch the copy capability, without the bullshit of the latter part).

So, yeah, she might be an idiot, but she can be as competent as she wanted to the moment she wanted it to. Though the fact that she's an idiot might mean she won't know when will she need the capability.

Imperial Privilege is so OP that at A rank, it can gain Divinity trait if need be. At EX rank, she can do whatever she wanted to.

 

[Charles Flynn]

I would like to remind you that your character's perception of Nero as an incompetent idiot is also faulty.

FGO's Nero had a skill named Imperial Privilege: EX.

This skill basically says that since Nero is the Emperor, everything her citizen can do, she can do it too. After all, She is the Emperor.

In practice, this means that Nero can gain any other skill that she need on-demand in short order. It basically act as a discount Sharingan (inasmuch the copy capability, without the bullshit of the latter part).

So, yeah, she might be an idiot, but she can be as competent as she wanted to the moment she wanted it to. Though the fact that she's an idiot might mean she won't know when will she need the capability.

Imperial Privilege is so OP that at A rank, it can gain Divinity trait if need be. At EX rank, she can do whatever she wanted to.

Click to shrink...

As a Servant. She had no business possessing that Skill as a mortal. As a mortal, she just had a very, very inflated opinion of her own abilities. And an aura that kept people from ever contradicting her.

 

[gaouw]

As a Servant. She had no business possessing that Skill as a mortal. As a mortal, she just had a very, very inflated opinion of her own abilities. And an aura that kept people from ever contradicting her.

Click to shrink...

Ummm,,, no.

Actually, Servants is just a pale shadow of Heroic Spirits full capability. The somethingsomething Spiritual Vessel that is incapable to fit all the HS from the Throne of Heroes somethingsomething. I'm not exactly sure of the dynamic.

But this is one of the reason why Artoria is so strong in FSN. Since she's not actually dead yet.

HS is, in itself, compounded by the legend, true, but it is implied that when the HS is alive, they are actually at similar power level with their Heroic Spirit self.

So Nero having IP: EX as a mortal is not that much of a stretch.

====================

Keep in mind that in Nasuverse, Man is weakening compared to ancient times. This is why Gilgamesh is so disappointed with Modern Human.

IIRC, metaphysically, modern convenience strengthen Man as a species, but weaken Man as individual.

 

[gaouw]

You should really scour Nasu Wiki for lore.

There are many differences between them and RL's Myth.

Just consider Nasu as a huge fanfic writer with his own HeadCanon that is quite different compared to RL Myth.

Thus, you should treat historical character in Nasu not as RL historical characters, but rather as fictional characters 'inspired' by historical characters.

 

[Charles Flynn]

'Xuanzang, how's that flanking maneuver you're guiding Emperor Nero on going? Still lost?'

'Yep. Turns out I was holding the map upside down at first. Then a wyvern ate it. Nero's been pretty good about saving my bacon, though. I think I'm going to make her my new disciple!' Xuanzang informs me, cheery as ever.

'You sure that's entirely because you want to?' I send back, worried.

'My brain is one hundred percent Beast-free, Master! But just so you don't worry, I'll be sure to work her into the ground!' she replies.

'Good. Just remember, try to stay as lost as you possibly can. I'll retrieve you via Command Seal once the campaign's over.' I grin. With Nero finally out of the way, we can really kick this campaign into high gear. She was easily our enemy's greatest asset, after all.

"Good news Queen Boudica. Xuanzang assures me that, although the two of them are ever-so-slightly lost, she's definitely on the right track, and they'll be back with us in no time." Boudica grins.

"Indeed. I'm certainly glad that our glorious emperor will soon be back with us," she recites mechanically, her lips quivering as she holds back laughter. "In any case, we've largely reclaimed Gaul. Where to now?"

"We have no idea where their capital is." I muse. "I have heard a rumor or two about a god out on some island in the Mediterranean. Could be one of the emperors. Tiberius, maybe? Ah, hell with it. Vlad's interrogating some of the soldiers we captured. If that falls through, we investigate and probably kill this supposed deity. In the meantime, though, I'm off to bed."

"Fair enough." She eyes me for a second, but doesn't say anything, so I shrug and duck out the tent flaps, Galahad joining me as I make my way back to my tent. Once I'm there, he sets up to stand guard at the entrance, while I settle down to sleep.

---​

Not a single one of the soldiers breaks, regardless of what Vlad puts them through. And so we bury our dead, and move on to find this god on the Mediterranean.

"So. Do we really need the legion? Or can we just send myself and my Servants?" I ask Boudica as we head into the port.

"Just you and the Servants, I should think. I'll return to my station at the neck of Italy. Keep an eye out in case the enemy comes." she replies.

'Xuanzang, how goes the distraction?' I send.

'Pretty good, actually. She got bored of looking for you and decided to just run off after some ridiculous rumor of a god on an island out in the Mediterranean. Wild goose chase real-' I round the corner and look Xuanzang dead in the eye.

Oh, no. I look around desperately. Okay, she's not here! Maybe we can slip aw-

"Praetor!" FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I turn to see the bouncy blonde source of ALL MY EARTHLY TROUBLES FOR THE LAST MONTH charging towards me, ready for a tackle-hug, which I obviously sidestep. Not deterred in the slightest, she's up on her feet in seconds, practically oozing cheerfulness.

"Praetor! We finally found you! Quick there's no time! I've heard rumors of a god out on an island in the sea! Come! You must accompany us! It'll be an adventure!" She grabs my arm and starts dragging me off to a nearby slave galley. I can only stare helplessly back at Boudica, who just gives me a bemused shrug, and mouths, "Better you than me." Traitor.

God? I don't know exactly what I did to deserve this living Hell, but whatever it was, I'm sorry.

And so, with Nero still babbling incessantly, and my Servants hopping on board after us, we set off towards this unknown island.

 

[EVA-Saiyajin]

Someone needs to learn to keep the other up to date.

 

[Exist Error]

After a meeting between Nero and the MC
MC: "sign... at this point it just a matter of time before I kill myself"
Nero in the distance: "Praetor! come here your emperor call for your services"
2 days later
MC: Galahad since you cleary wants get rid off my vile existence...
Galahad: banish the thought worm, for more enjoying the act would bring me, I will not do it, afterall....
Galahad start smirking while looking at you
Galahad: keeping you alive will prolong your suffering.

 

[Charles Flynn]

I can hear Nero at the door to the cabin they locked me in. Obviously, I grab for my knife, only to remember that my servants took all my weapons. Roman and Xuanzang shut off my Command Seals, too. Honestly, I don't know why they keep bothering. I'm mostly fine, completely recovered! My Nero-induced psychotic break is completely done! I only keep trying to kill her out of reflex is all!

Hm. I seem to be laughing for some reason. Should I stop? No, no, no. I should be laughing! It's funny because they think I'm crazy, that I just snapped after Nero killed half the galley slaves through exhaustion when she tried to water ski, and I'm not in my right mind, but honestly, I've never been more clear-headed! I'm just doing what any right-thinking man would do and killing her, in the process destroying history and creatring a world in which Nero has never existed! Perfectly rational! I mean, sure, I'll be taking out my dogs and my family too, but I'm sure that if they got to know her, they'd agree it's well worth the sacrifice!

"I'm sorry, he's still under the weather, and can't receive visitors," Galahad tells her. I'd contradict him and tell her to come right on in, but Xuanzang soundproofed the walls.

"Hello, Master," Georgios calls, de-astralizing as he enters my cabin. "How are you feeling?"

"Like there's ONE TOO MANY NEROS IN THIS WORLD!" I bellow, a bit of spittle flying from my lips as I break into another fit of uncontrollable laughter. "Other than that, could you guys start letting me out to go to the bathroom? I've had to shit in that corner for the past few days, and its really starting to stink up the place."

Georgios just gives me a disappointed look, and then sighs. "Master, could you tell me about your family?"

"Why?" I blink. Bit of a sharp turn from our other therapy sessions.

"You just seem rather willing to sacrifice them. I merely wondered how they must have mistreated you, to inspire such disdain." I promptly break my fist against his face.

"And, might I ask what that was for?"

"Don't you dare talk about them like that!" I snap.

"You love your family, then?"

"Damn straight I do."

"Then why are you so willing to sacrifice them?"

"Because..." Because I can't stand Nero. Because I can always hear the whispers, even when Georgios shields me from them. Because she's easily the most incompetent leader I've ever met. Because she's a monster, even if she's cheerfully oblivious to the things she does being wrong. But... is seeing her die screaming and in pain really worth not saving my family?

No. I'd kill for them. Now I have to let her live for their sake.

"I'll endure her a bit longer. Just keep her away from me."

"Good. We're approaching the island." Gerogios smiles. "And Xuanzang made something that you might find helpful."

"What?"

"She managed to give Nero a mute button."

I stare at him in silent awe. "I'm sorry, Georgios, but I think Xuanzang just became my favorite Servant."

"I completely understand."

 

[EVA-Saiyajin]

Well, that was an admittedly effective and unique method of getting someone to work with someone everyone, literally everyone, who matters despises.

 

[Charles Flynn]

"So. Nero won't be joining us?"

"Nope!" Xuanzang grins. "I prayed to the Buddha, and he answered by casting her into a deep slumber. She won't wake up for quite some time to come."

"So, is that discipleship still on the table?"

Xuanzang grins, and I return my attention to the mission at hand.

"So. Our interception team. Xuanzang, use your magecraft to conceal yourself and Vlad. Cursed Arm, do the same with your Presence Concealment.You'll be held in reserve in case we need to give this so-called god the Nereus Special. The rest of you, with me."

We head out in the rowboat.

Waiting for us on the shore is a little purple-haired girl. Excellent! A guide!

"Ave, puella! Would you care to guide us to the god of this isle?"

Her eye twitches. "You gaze upon her, insolent fool! I am Stheno, goddess of beauty, embodiment of men's desires. The perfect idol of all mankind. I shall forgive you your ignorance, for the moment."

Oh goddammit. This is Tiberius' sex dungeon island. "Look, I know life as a child prostitute is hard, but do you really have to go whole hog on acting out TIberius' fantasies? This one doesn't even make sense! Everyone know that Stheno was a grown woman with boar tusks and snakes for hair, not some sort of... pedophile's wet dream, Just point us to Tiberius, and we'll get you out of here after we kill him."

"You insolent FILTH!" the purple-haired child prostitute roars, spittle flying everywhere as she bellows. "YOU WILL GIVE ME THE REVERENCE I AM OWED! SMILE OF-"

'Vlad, Nereus Special.'

The goddess's invocation of her Noble Phantasm is cut short by Vlad the Impaler appearing behind her and putting her in an arm bar. And sweet Jesus God Almighty, that is a weird sentence.

"So. You really are the Goddess Stheno, although I'm fairly certain that's not your real face."

"MINIONS! GET THEM!" She then breaks off into pained cursing as Vlad twists her arm harder.

Right who are her subordinates?

In the blink of an eye, Tamamo Cat is tackled by... Tamamo Cat?

"Oh, hi! I like your hair! Oh, those paws of yours are soft as a kitten's milk breath."

The "fight" quickly devolves into the two ditzy Berserkers getting stuck into a session of volleying complements. Right, so, I'll count that as a mutual neutralization. You know, I never before considered how much Tamamo reminds me of Tigger. Now it's all I can think about.

"Singing for justice, an IDOL APPEARS!" a high-pitched voice announce. A pink-haired... dragon girl? stands, arms akimbo, atop a short, rocky bluff a bit up the shore. "For attacking my patron, I, the cute and powerful Elizabeth Bathory, will STRIKE YOU DOWN!"

Right. I can neutralize this one easily, I think. "Elizabeth Bathory?" I ask in my best fanboy voice. "I'm a HUGE fan of your singing!"

She freezes. "R-Really?"

"Of course! I was hugely disappointed when you didn't show up for the musical competitions at Rome. What are you doing in a backwater like this?"

"There's a singing competition in Rome?"

"Of course! We'd be happy to give you a lift!"

That quells her. And I think that's the last of them! No, wait, DON'T TAUNT MURPHY! DON'T TAUNT MURPHY!

"NEROOOOOOOOOOOO!" Summoned by my unwise thoughts, Caligula, apparently risen from the dead, leaps from the sea like a majestic fucking dolphin, before coming down in a three point landing directly in front of me. You know, earlier, I didn't notice, but he is really goddamn tall.

'Hassan!'

"Delusional Heartbeat: Zabaniya." The taloned hand crushes the black heart, and nothing happens.

"Did you really think that would work twice?" Caligula asks, sending Hassan flying with a casual backhand. "I am Gaius Caesar, fool. A god made flesh. Now then." He lays one meaty hand upon my shoulder and squeezes. "Where is my daughter?" He blinks. "And why are you torturing one of Tiberius' child prostitutes?" Stheno makes a muffled noise of indignation. "It he here? Is Tiberius here?" He sounds honestly terrified. I can use that.

"Yes." I lie, and Caligula flinches as if he's been struck. "I'm surprised you identified her so easily, though. What gave her away?"

"It's the hair," he sounds haunted as he says it. "The purple hair. Tiberius always made his favorites dye their hair purple. He once made me dye my hair like that. I spent the next three days a paranoid wreck, expecting him to burst in and rape me at any moment." He sags, looking around like a panicked animal. "I- I need to get away."

As he lets go of my arm, I grab his shoulder and look into his eyes. "Why are you still afraid of him?" He looks at me in shock, as if he'd forgotten I was there. "Why are you still letting him control you? He's not emperor anymore! You are! You are Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, and you are your father's son!" His spine straightens, his fear fading away, replaced by steely determination. "Now go in there, and teach him to fear your fury!"

"You're right. You have my thanks, mercenary." he strides boldly off towards the island's interior, his soggy purple cloak billowing out behind him.

I wait until he's out of earshot before turning to my Servants, who are all staring at me for some reason. "Right, we should probably hurry this up so we can get going before he figures out that I lied to him."

"Master?" Georgios says, looking at me with respect in his eyes. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're scary, sometimes."

"Thanks. Now let's move! The goddess isn't going to interrogate herself!"

 

[World Reader]

Hahahahhahahahahaahah!

Holy crap, this is Gudako levels of mad-lad bullshit.

 

[EVA-Saiyajin]

That's a lot of laughs for one update.

 

[Ashborn]

Just this, just all of it. I swear I laughed so much I almost cried

 

[Charles Flynn]

"So, you're DM?" Roman asks.

"GM, but yes." I answer. My fairly extensive collection of sourcebooks is laid out in the crates.

"Yeah. So, basically almost identical to 3.5, right?" he asks.

"Yep. Pathfinder's a lot of fun once you get a hang of it," I inform him, looking through the Adventure Path once more.

"Who else is joining us, then?" Roman asks, already rolling up... a wizard? I guess being a non-magus surrounded by magi left him with a hankering to see what's on the other side.

"Well, I asked a few of the Servants if they'd be interested. Hundred Face declined, but asked if they could borrow the books on Thursday to run a game or two for themselves." Roman looks about as confused as I feel at that tidbit. "Yeah, I don't know what that was about either. Vlad said he's be interested, as did Georgios. Cursed Arm also wanted in. Cu declined, all three of them, but Mash actually overheard and thought it sounded interesting."

"Right." Roman sighs. "So, a lot of newbies?"

"Yep."

A knock on the door.

"That's probably them now!"

---​

"Paladin." Georgios firmly states when I ask if he's picked out a class yet.

"Are you sure? I mean, you pretty much already are one."

"I'm just starting out, so I'll stick with what I know." He grins.

"Fair enough." I turn my head to Vlad. "How about you?"

"I like the sound of this 'Inquisitor' class," he comments. He's changed out of his combat armor into a T-shirt and a pair of khakis, which is frankly giving me a headache. It's just weird to look at him and not see a crap-ton of spikes. Well, at least Mr. Spikey McSpikerton isn't impaling any of my sourcebooks. "I shall punish the unjust, wicked, and base in the purifying flames of God!"

"So, what you normally do, but with less spikes?"

"Yes."

"Neat. You're going to have to pick one of the setting's deities, they're listed in the-"

"No."

"Okay, then." That's going to be annoying, but I'm nowhere near suicidal enough to press Vlad the freaking Impaler on the Jesus issue. Georgios, for his part, is nice enough to just make himself a paladin of Iomedae, and gives me a sympathetic look.

"Alright, Mash? Hassan? What about you?"

"Oh! If's it's alright with you, I'd like to play an Investigator, Senpai." she's painfully earnest.

"Sure. No problems there." Not much of a surprise, either. Investigators are basically Sherlock Holmes: The Class.

"I will be playing a Cleric of Sarenrae," Cursed Arm offers, which very nearly makes me do a double take.

"Sure. Okay, with that squared away, let me just break out the Advanced Race Guide."

---​

Once the arduous process of choosing races is done, Georgios is playing a human paladin of Iomedae, Vlad an extraordinarily fanatical human inquisitor of God, Mash an elven investigator, and Hassan an aasimar cleric of Sarenrae. Roman, his optimized-up-the-wazoo wyrwood wizard done hours ago, just sat on the sidelines, enjoying my suffering.

"Right, so you all meet in a tavern."

Cursed arm raises his hand. "My character's faith forbids alcohol, though. Why am I at a tavern?"

"You're here for the company."

---​

"So, just to check, Vlad, your character is Lawful Good, right?"

"Of course! His soul courses with the righteous word of the Lord!"

"Just checking. Carry on."

"Ah, yes. So, as I was saying, after our initial assault is finished, and the goblins are pushed back, we stake the corpses as a warning to survivors. Then, we take their filthy spawn, smash their heads against the stones, and use their blood to write out warnings to any that might return."

"Um, Vlad?" Roman ventures, brave fool that he is. "Are you sure that all of, well, this, is in accordance with the Lord's tenets?"

"Of course, Doctor!" Vlad bellows. "These vile monsters have struck against our Holy Lord's children, whom he made in his image, and loves dearly. In the defense of righteousness, no measure is too extreme!"

"But, isn't God also a divine force of love and forgiveness?" I have to venture. Georgios nods along. "Even if somebody is working to defend and strengthen his cause, a sin is still a sin. Just look at Kings David and Solomon. They did great work in the service of God and his people, but their faults weren't excused, and were still punished."

Roman starts angrily. "Okay, David, I agree with, but Solomon wasn't all that bad!"

I raise an eyebrow. "There was the frankly ridiculous collection of concubines-"

"Probably for political reasons!" Roman interjects.

"The fact that he summoned and bound demons, and allowed his wives to bring altars to foreign gods into Israel," Georgios interjects.

"What was he supposed to do, force the women who'd been sent off as political bargaining pieces to convert? He wasn't heartless, you know!" Roman counters.

"Didn't he once threaten to chop a baby in half?" Vlad asks. He grins. "Say what you will of me, but I've never threatened to bisect an infant in order to resolve a custody battle."

Roman sags at that one. "That... probably sounded like a good idea at the time."

Mash chooses that moment to return from throwing up in the bathroom. "I'm back! Is Vlad done yet?"

---​

Finally, however, the session wraps up.

"This was fun." Roman says, picking up the snack wrappers whilst I clear the table. "Same time next week?"

"Barring a Singularity, sure."

 

[Darko]

Oh Charles just wait until you meet Solomon

 

[World Reader]

Roman starts angrily. "Okay, David, I agree with, but Solomon wasn't all that bad!"

Click to shrink...

I can't wait for the reaction to the truth.

 

[Charles Flynn]

"Hispania! The United Roman Empire's capital is in Hispania!" Stheno bellows.

"Right." I look at Hassan. 'You'll split off to check the intel for accuracy, while we gather troops in Rome'

"You'll pay for this, mortal," the gorgon growls.

"True. But not to you. Vlad. Finish it."

She time to curse me before the spears pierce her flesh, and sharp, taloned gauntlets rip her to shreds. Other Tamamo and Bathory are already on the ship, so only Georgios, Galahad, and Cursed Arm are around to bear witness.

"Was that really necessary?" Georgios asks, looking disappointed in me. That stings, I won't lie. But, all the same, this was necessary.

"I'm not leaving a goddess, however weak, with a grudge against us alive. Now let's go, before Caligula catches up."

And that's that.

---​

"I've sent Cursed Arm to investigate." I tell Queen Boudica, wrapping up my report. She nods. Nero was easily persuaded that the people wanted another concert, which left us free to strategize without her interference.

"Good. Gods willing, we'll have this Singularity done within the month." She looks somewhat bashful all of a sudden. "I'm... sorry for just leaving you with Nero."

"It's fine." I grin. "We got solid allies and good intel out of the whole affair. What more could we ask for?"

"True enough."

And so we sit and wait to wage our war.

 

[Charles Flynn]

Reinforcements roll in soon: Two more of Nero's Servant generals, Jing Ke and Lu Bu. Apparently they ran into and killed three "emperors" on their way in. I narrow it down to Caesar (again), Germanicus, and, for some reason, Cleopatra. Not a single one of which was a Roman Emperor. Not telling them that, though. Jing Ke just seems so thrilled at having killed an emperor that I can't take that away from her.

But, all the same, it's time to get going. And so we do. After ensuring that all the supply lines have been established, of course.

---​

"And then, the coyote just... looks down, and you can just see him think: 'Well, I'm doomed.' And then he falls straight down." Boudica chuckles as I wrap up my attempt to describe Loony Tunes to her. We're riding in her chariot as the legions march forwards.

"So, what is a coyote?" Boudica asks, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. "I've been meaning to ask that for the whole story you told me."

"Well-"

"General! The cavalry is attacking our flanks! Additionally, an army advances towards us from the front!" a messenger... is that Antonius again? Small world. Well, anyways, he's panting like a dog.

"I'll coordinate the Servants, you coordinate the troops?" I ask, glancing at Boudica. She nods.

"Further, General Lu Bu has betrayed us!"

"What?" Why? Why would he do that? That backstabbing bastard! Ugh. This is what I get for working with Servants whose legends I haven't researched. I turn to Boudica. "Right. Hassan will kill him. Lancer will serve as a wrecking ball against the enemy formation, while Rider and the cavalry intercept the enemy raiders at our flank. That work for you?" She grins, with an intensity and vibrancy usually reserved for the prospect of dead Romans. Taking that as assent, I relay my orders to my Servants.

It's noon, and the hot sun burns down upon us with a harsh and hateful gaze. The army fills the road we march down with a cacophony of thundering feet, all but drowning out the distant clashes of steel and screams of the dying.

'Master. The enemy cavalry has been repelled.' Georgios sends.

'Good.' I switch my focus over to Hassan. 'Is Lu Bu dead?'

'Yes, but not by my doing. Lady Jing Ke is truly an assassin without peer.'

Interesting. I'll have to incorporate her more in my future strategies.

'Solid work. Return to Presence Concealment.' I redirect my focus to Vlad. 'How goes the front line, Lancer?'

'There's a slight problem, my Master.' he sends back, sounding harried.

'What sort of problem?'

'The enemy soldiers are undead. And on fire.' I blink at that one. 'They seem to be the Noble Phantasm of the black-skinned giant who's currently riding at the army's center on a flaming, undead elephant.'

I blink. Zombie Hannibal? I then promptly smack myself upside the head for letting myself think something so utterly asinine. Elephants were a common feature in armies from India, Carthage, and the Persian Empire alike. Largely because they were basically walking siege engines. 'Right. Hold out. Help is on the way.'

Redirect to Hassan, and... 'Servant attacking the front lines with an Army-type Noble Phantasm. Link up with Jing Ke to infiltrate the enemies' ranks and take out their leader.'

'Understood.'

As Boudica continues to bring the troops to order and receive messengers, I redirect my attention to perhaps the most important field of this battle: Keeping Nero the hell away from it.

'Kojirou, how goes the distraction?'

'She's getting agitated, but still holding in place.'

Good. Xuanzang and Tamamo are both astralized nearby to serve as my bodyguards. Galahad's following behind the chariot on foot, keeping his silence. The servants from the Shapeless Isle were left in Rome, to defend the city in our absence.

'Master. The front line is secure once more.' Vlad sends after a six-minute wait.

'Good work, everybody. All threats eliminated.' I send to all my Servants.

---​

Tonight, we've set up camp on a hill. Solid view from all sides. Nero insisted we join her in the gaudy pavilion she made us bring along, and she's been yammering away non-stop. I've mostly managed to tune her out, though. Around us, the slaves she insisted we bring along on campaign carry the various dishes about as we recline on dining couches. The very picture of Roman luxury. I try not to betray my discomfort.

"My Emperor! An envoy has arrived from the enemy!" a legionnaire bellows, his flat palm out in a Roman salute. "Should he be permitted in?"

"Certainly!" Nero cheers. "Let him see the glory of the Rome he has betrayed!"

I quickly check with my Servants to make sure that they're all in a position to properly defend, should this prove to be a trick.

The envoy steps into the pavilion. And he looks... modern. A sharply tailored suit girds his form, a pair of fine glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He has long hair, and a stern, regal face. For some reason, something about him reminds me of a few of my old teachers.

"Emperor Nero, I presume?" he asks in flawless Latin. My brow furrows. This man is definitely a Servant. But which one is considerably harder to place. "I come bearing a message from my king and sole commander, Alexander the Great."

That gets a round of gasps. I think one of Nero's tribunes just fainted. And, once the shock has subsided, an excited hum rises, every military mind in the entire tent practically squealing at the opportunity to actually meet the man whose brilliance defined all things military for the last four centuries.

"The great conqueror of old has risen as well?" Nero asks, seemingly unaware of her various officers fanboying over our enemy. "And what message has he for us?"

"He desires a conference with you, Emperor Nero. That the two of you may speak of affairs of kingship, and find common cause, or, failing in that, settle this matter of armies between the two of you."

God-Dammit. A fight between a servant and a living human? This is a decapitation strike, pure and simple. If his legendary charisma doesn't win her to his side, he'll overpower and kill her in the trial by champion.

"Very well! Where shall we meet?" Oh, for fuck's sake.

"My Emperor, are you sure that's wise?" I interject. "This is Alexander the Great we speak of. A legendary demi-god. Setting aside his superior tactical acumen, he is most likely more than capable of defeating you in single comb-"

Her backhand catches me across the face mid-sentence, and suddenly, everything is pain. I'm sent flying to the side, catching myself against one of the couches, as she looms over me.

"You forget your place, mercenary." She says coldly, looming over me. "You mistake your contributions for standing in for my genius. You are not the brilliant military leader whose genius has lead this campaign to victory. I am! You are not the one who has cast down every legend who stood against us! I am! You forget, Carlus, that you work for me, Nero, greatest Roman to ever live! If you ever so much as think of giving me orders again, I will have you sold as a gladiator. Do I make myself clear?" She kicks out my legs from under me. "Answer, mercenary!"

"Yes, my Emperor," I choke out, trying to keep my voice level through the seething rage in my heart. I chance a look around. Galahad and Boudica both look outraged, but hold their tongues while Jing Ke has set her food and drink to the side, looking outright sickened.

"Good." She turns to the Praetorian guard, still standing solemnly at the pavilion's entrance. "Carry him out, beat him, and then take him to the blacksmith's to be fitted with his collar. He needs something to remind him of his place."

"Yes, my Emperor." The two chorus in unison, each seizing me by the arm and dragging me off. I don't struggle. In fact, all my mind is focused on my family, and on why this will all be worth it in the end.

As they drag me away, I see Nero turn back to the messenger, who's staring at her with outright disgust. "When, good legate, and where should this meeting take place?"