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Yeah, I know. Equal distribution of wealth, everyone regarded as equals, it seems like a good deal. I wouldn't blame you for falling to its honey-sweet allure. Many people have. Take Thomas Edison, for example. After he was possessed by Andrew Jackson and mutated into a hyperpatriotic lion man in order to fend off the Irish, he had a hard road ahead of him. But-"
Spare us the crocodile tears, Einzbern, everyone knows your family can't be trusted as far as you can throw them." Huh. I feel like I'm missing something. Like there's something that… Oh! Guilt! I'm not feeling guilty at all! Huh. That's weird. But I'm not going to say no to getting a Get-Out-of-Conscience-Free card for my next few atrocities.
At lot of things can happen in the space of a second. A gun can fire. A Noble Phantasm can go off. Or, in this case, a chariot wreathed in lightning and pulled by oxen can land in the middle of the docks, completely pushing all my schemes out the fucking window.
Diarmuid gasps in pain.
Everyone look, to see the grim, skull-faced figure behind him, his hand through the knight's chest. Then, with a squelch, Diarmuid falls.
Why you bully Irisviel so much? I know she make a good scapegoat but I hope you'll make it up to her.
I'd be more happy about that if I didn't have Alexander the Great bearing down on me with two tons of divinely empowered, highly electric beef at the head of his chariot, and a war cry on his lips.
The glowing rainbow of energy bursts free, and as it does so, I belatedly realize that firing off an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm in an inhabited city might have been a terrible mistake.
'I blame you for this.'
'Yeah, I might have baited the luck-gods a little there.'
Ah, absolute monarchs. So easily provoked, so incapable of handling criticism. They make things far too easy for me.
I shoot him a look. 'Fergus, if you kill me, you die. And beyond that, if you stick with me on this, then I'll pay for your drinks and serve as your wingman on your next bar crawl.'
'I'm pretty sure he'd do the same thing for free,' Fergus notes.
'I, on the other hand, am both eloquent enough to talk you up, and pathetic enough that I won't draw attention away from you.'
"He promised you riches and glory before your wildest imaginings!
Well, that was harsh, even for me...at least Serenity got to smile.
And while each and every one of you brave soldiers was out fighting for Alexander, half a world away, ANOTHER MAN WAS FUCKING YOUR WIFE!"
It's been a journey and a half, but How I Saved History is finally done. Thanks for sticking with me.
A sequel, entitled How I Screwed Up Big Time, starring the inimitable Kirchtaria Wodime, will enter development whenever Cosmos in the Lostbelt wraps up. I hope to see you then.
Just curious, but will we see more of Charles? I really like him as a character, so I hope this isn't the last we see of him. Thanks for the great work! Also, seeing him interact with Chaldea again would be awesome. Maybe have him summoned as a Ruler or Assassin? That would be funny. A literal ghost mentor (we already have the Star Wars Cu's, so why not an Obi-Wan Force ghost joke too?).It's been a journey and a half, but How I Saved History is finally done. Thanks for sticking with me.
A sequel, entitled How I Screwed Up Big Time, starring the inimitable Kirchtaria Wodime, will enter development whenever Cosmos in the Lostbelt wraps up. I hope to see you then.