1.2 First Steps
Atram Galliasta walks into his workshop and beckons me to follow. The illusion falls, and I see the long corridor we must walk through. It is lined with rows and rows of containers, filled with dimly glowing blue liquids and living bodies of children in an induced comatose state. I know what they are for, and it does not make me sick.
But that is not... supposed... to be my reaction. I should be sick. Yet I stand, and I walk after the tall, Mediterranean magus as if I see nothing. There is not even a twitch in my dead expression, but I feel something.
I cannot feel the conflict inside at all, but I can feel a want for conflict... a return to normality.
There is no answer from the ritual that summoned me or the system that now sustains me, though I can guess it is probably the remnants of what constitutes for the memories and the soul that comes before. It is probably the last fragment of what I remember myself to be, and it is overwhelmed by the nature that is Cinder Fall.
"You know," the magus speaks softly now. There is a dangerous undertone there, and a layer of elegance in his speech. "I didn't think you would be so disagreeable."
My eyes stare at him. I do not understand.
"Cinder Fall is not the name of a hero. Do you think you can just get away with offering me a pseudonym or pretend? Are you so stupid as to try to deceive your Master?" The black runes now glow red on the back of his hand. He does not shout, though he may as well have. The outward calm is only an illusion, I see.
His mindless slaves circle around me in their awkward, puppet-like state. Even if I know nothing, I must know that this sort of magic ought to be lowest, most amoral magic he should know. They do not even walk properly... but there is strength in them and in their numbers.
"I command you, answer my questions!" One of the three parts fade away just enough to leave a vague mark. He turns to me, his eyes wide, lacking in sanity. "Who are you, Servant?"
My mind races and information fills my head to the brim, I can almost see the words appearing before my eyes. My strengths and weaknesses, my powers and my abilities, I see it all in the best way that it, the ritual, can show it to me—in an augmented reality user interface that I am more used to seeing, than any paper page or parchment tome. It fills me of what Caster (True) is, and I make up in my head what is not quite a lie to patch together the mask that is Caster (False).
That is, if he must force me into a corner over something I do not even know well enough to answer, then I might as well answer him with bullshit.
"It may be best... if you think of me..." I fight against the urge to clear my throat. The marks are no longer there. I have enough energy—Mana, Prana, or whatever people want to call it—in me to fill that void away in moments. I try to keep my voice steady and to keep my face blank, and I hope he does not see through me. "... Cinderella, if you will."
"Cinder, Cinderella? Ah, I see. You think yourself clever, Servant? Don't answer that. That little attempt at subterfuge is cute." He pauses, the anger draining from him as he feels his superiority regained and his chest once more filled with pride. Atram Galliasta raises his hand again, emphasizing the Command Seals that can either force me to do something against my wishes, aide me into using a force greater than I am capable of, or some mix of the two.
I sigh in my head thankfully, that he only considers the first two options the only possibilities. It is almost as if he has never heard of The Monkey's Paw, though considering the universe that I am in, it might be an artifact here.
"You still tell me nothing. That is just a story, repeated a hundred times. Ah, must we do this, Servant? Do you see this, these Command Seals? There are only two left. Maybe I should just command you to kill yourself." He dangles his fingers limply before me, as if I am absolutely not a threat to him. "If you were the Witch of Colchis, I might have even wasted a Command Seal to make it so you can't betray me. But you're too weak to do even that, aren't you?"
He does not outright laugh, as if that kind of gloating is too beneath him, but everything else is strangely not.
Then he slaps me with such strength that I am hurled away and into the floor. Then the hardened leather toe of his shoe strikes against my torso twice, before he finally stops. There is no bruise left there, just like the earlier choking, but I can feel the phantom pain of it happening again and again echoing on each part of my being.
He breathes heavily, leaning against his knees, clearly a pampered scion even with his well defined and well toned body. Then Atram pushes his golden hair back. Sweat glistens on his brow, barely there.
This man pulls me up from the ground by my hair.
His face is inches away from me. His breath is hot and blinding and disgusts me to my core. There is splotches of blood on the ground, and I realize they are mine. Atram shakes his hold on my hair, tightening his grip, trying to hold my attention. "I know the command is vague, but the power is still there. It will keep compelling you to answer until you do or the power runs out. Answer, Servant."
"... Just like how the sword in the stone is a common theme, my story is one too. But why is it that you do not believe I can exist, but that the King of the Britons can?" I ask through the boiling emotions stifled by my nature and my abilities. "Are you so arrogant to think that you can summon anything better than me?"
His face twists, but he stays his hand. Some part of him acknowledges that I might be the best he can summon. At least he knows his place.
"Then what are your powers, do you have a Fairy Godmother? Do you have spells, Caster? You cannot be Assassin, I know that now. Can you even do anything, having such a young legend?" He sneers.
'But sometimes, it is not the age of the legend that matters.' The ritual answers for me, the remnant power of Atram Galliasta's command pushing me to seek answers from the only source connected to me. It tells me more and more until it can tell no more.
This is good, useful enough, that I wonder why is it that no Servant has not tried to utilize the ritual for their own gains. But then I realize, it is not that they do not do it, it is just that we do it in different ways. After all, Medea does try to fulfill the ritual, but her predecessor...
An image forms in my head, of how it is simply Medea being so obstinate to only use her operating system—her set of magic, where as I am so lacking in knowledge that I settle for any that is presented to me. Doesn't that just say that I am equally bad at all magic, all rituals?
Even so fully immersed into that which is Cinder Fall, I feel like laughing and crying at the same time.
And now my summoner thinks I am hiding something because I do not know how to answer his questions properly! Maybe I should just kill myself and save him the trouble?
"Well?" The runes glow red again. Atram is foolishly wasting mana just to intimidate me.
"I do have some insights into magic, as Caster." Rather, I have a Supreme Intuition in learning all things, as Cinder Fall, but I cannot just tell him that, can I? As Caster (False), what I tell him is the truth... from a certain point of view.
He sneers and nods, before standing straight and dangling me inches off the ground. "And?"
The power of each command seal is strong. They can compel a Servant into doing anything... for an instant. They cannot be a permanent, everlasting, and all-powerful command. The longer and more vague a command is, the weaker it is. This is the trade-off for a long lasting command. At that time with Atram, even if he tries to lawyer his way with his words, his intentions are for me to answer all of his questions forever.
It is sort of like commanding a Servant to always follow his commands. Following the initial surge of power, there is only a gentle push.
And I use that gentle push to further spew bullshit from these pretty rose lips now mine. Maybe I am smirking, unable to keep the smugness of bypassing Atram's will down. "Do you think, if I had the protection of a Fairy, you can hit me so?" Though I do, fool, through the Mantle I wear.
His eyes widen, as if just realizing what might have happened otherwise. It takes him a moment to regain his composure, and I have to good graces to ignore his fumble. "So you are just an over-hyped magus?"
"Yes." No.
"Fine. Come, I will show you how powerful I am, and how I could have had a much better Servant than you," He grunts with disdain.
We cross over the threshold and I feel the power of the magus' workshop. There is something in the air, the sort of feeling like walking into sauna, but it is not heat. It is power...
… and yet, it is so unrefined.
And there is something else here too. It is a stench that almost eludes me; this is the smell of death and blood and innocence lost. I remember this episode well, and I do not think even with Cinder's constitution, I can be unshaken after he reveals his power to me.
"Unlike you, I have talent," His pride rises higher and higher. It almost allows me to ignore how dead his slaves are from their blank stares. "This workshop is designed to make the system more modern and efficient. Nothing you understand."
But before I turn, before I run, he shows me. Six children locked in clear, glass cells rise to the platform. It is a grand machine, and I feel for a moment that it can be some kind of ritual of great power; perhaps he just does not know how to handle it. Many hundreds more victims line the walls around us, hanging like corpses in a slaughterhouse. These are a girls who has not reached their prime. She will not know school crushes, she will not find joy in discovery, she will not get to grow up... because he takes their body and refines them into a crystallized mana shard. The machine does all of the work for him, liquefying his victims.
"See this?" He picks up the shard. "It takes a month to make this, and I have all the resources in the world. Do you see, how you are the chink in my armor?"
The skills that now circle my being tell me how inefficient this is. I see their souls escaping intact, and one part of me wishes them well into the afterlife while another part of me laments how much energy their souls' escape wastes. Either way, I cannot do what the Caster does and conjure from thin air... but I can do better than him and his machines.
It reminds me of having completed the programming of a game that I will market, and comparing it with the first attempt of a child to write the most basic form of Pong into code. Or perhaps seeing a toddler make a sand castle, and knowing I can make better. And yet, I find myself thanking him. This is not a ritual that he shows me nor is it any spell of power. It is just a... simple curse.
It feels almost wrong to want to slap him down, but I find myself quoting the Caster whose place I took, "You are using machines to imitate the magus, when you are yourself a magus. Ignoring the inherent flaws in the logic of your 'Primordial Curse', it is inefficient."
He blinks and his lips part, though he says nothing.
Perhaps it is simply that I can see the light of their souls.
I sigh a hiss of fire and ash, and dust. There are many things more powerful than I in this world, but I have advantages too. It seems the soul is something... less studied.
… I am the Passing, the Road to Death,
Autumn drops red and gold on her wreath...
I blink, and the introspective vision is gone. I turn myself back to the matter at hand and dismiss it as ramblings from my deranged mind.
However that I lack in power, it is enough for my soul to stretch outwards and the fiery blood within me to express the long restrained urges of this body. It is enough for my fiery hands to drag the poor souls back from whatever dark oblivion awaits them, and into the kiln of blood and death. And from what may be nothing to Atram Galliasta comes a shard much, much larger, for... so many reasons, on top of the fuel being something he cannot perceive.
Inside, I sigh in lamentation of being unable to replicate Medea's feat, if only from my perspective.
"What did you do?" His eyes wide as his posture. His hands fling to his sides and he expresses his disbelief.
"This machine, do you really need it?" I ask, knowing the answer.
"I... I put everything I had... all of my connections, all of my favors, all of my resources... into designing this workshop for omitting the elongated incantation process. Just the incantation takes three days!" He looks upset.
"I don't need incantations." I tilt my head, acting surprised. And then, the last shred of me within me speaks, "This workshop is a piece of shit, close it down."
He blinks and he nods.
This is not how the script goes, but some small part of me is happy, hopeful.
"I guess I underestimated you, Servant. To think you're this capable," He smiles to his slaves, as if they are a captivated audience. But then, he returns to the rails. "I command you, do not use your Noble Phantasms on me."
I do not even know if I have... Noble Phantasms. Even so, Medea has a Noble Phantasm that works on herself. It is so ridiculous that he so easily allows his emotions rule him. I want to point these out, to have the last laugh perhaps, but then his fist impacts with my cheek.
It hurts about as much as his slap from earlier, which is to say it tosses me a meter and knocks my vision around. Specks of blood fly all over the white, plastic floor. His face barely twists, as if he is either not so good at showing his emotion or he has only been trained not to show any emotion. The words in his voice, however, tell another tale. "You're no better than the witch, but—"
Yep, I think I have had enough of this already.
I will not wait like Medea... I do not have the patience to wreck this man's everything—his workshop—before his eyes before killing him. I do not want to wait. I want it now. I want it now. I want it. I want it. I want. I want.
My desire burns.
A spurting, wet noise fills the workshop. In this sterile environment, it is almost silenced. What follows is a light thumping of flesh against plastic. It is the sound of an arm falling to the ground. I look down at the specks of mana-filled blood of a magus that now mar my porcelain fingers. It is enticing and my tongue swirls within my mouth in anticipation, but I turn away and pick up my prize.
Atram Galliasta stares at me in surprise and dawning horror. "Y-You..."
"Did you know that the Caster of the Fourth Holy Grail War, a Gilles de Rais, had been strong enough to crush cement with his bare fists? It is a fascinating study on how even the weakest and least melee-ready of Heroic Spirits forced into these vessels can be so... inhuman." I stare blankly at my summoner, as his slaves beside him catch a sad, sad case of spontaneous combustion.
Click. Click. Click.
Ah! I have heels. It is so quiet, I can finally hear them click against the floor. This is so neat, but it will have to wait. I really need to give this the attention it deserves.
And it seems Atram Galliasta finally stares at me with the amount of attention I deserve too. I strut to him, wondering if he sees how I am mocking his puffed up pride. All the many hundred twitches and signs of terror fills him as he falls on his behind and crashes into the rails on the ritual platform, trying to backwards crawl away from my approach. "But you know, with me, it is different. Like the Archer of this war, where his specialty is in melee rather than in shooting, I too have other specialties. I... well, why am I talking to you? Aren't they simply wasted on a simpleton like yourself?"
I think to the future, of how I cannot have the luck that Medea has. I cannot simply leave, so soon. I need to use the available resources that I can gather and... Seeing Atram scramble to his feet and run to the door, I sigh and plunge myself deep into him from behind, and grasp his very soul.
This will sustain me long enough so that I can plan, at least.
A splash of my former Master's blood and body turns my attention back from the soul between my thumb and ring finger, and back to the trash at my feet. Okay, maybe I am lying to myself. Maybe I want him dead not before he's abusing me, but because I want to save the children. After all, I can take the abuse, right? But that... that is a conflict that never comes up.
I am who I am, after all.
As if an afterthought, I leave him with one final word, before the light leaves his eyes and after I kick him into the pits below his workshop. Pity it is no abyss of the mind like Medea can conjure on whim.
"... Fall."