I, Scion [Worm silly AU]

I, Scion

Part Three: Girlfriend Troubles


NOW?

I sighed. “No, sweetie. Not 'now' either. You can't just start harvesting shards. There are people using them.”

My communication power with her reworked that into a single-word message, that she accepted … for a few moments.

RESTART?

“No, we can't wipe their minds and restart, either.” I tried to explain. “I'm letting them be. Seeing what they get up to with their powers. Just making sure they aren't dicks to each other.”

WAR?

“Not a war either,” I added hastily. “An all-out parahuman war would not be a good thing. Not for the people, not for the world, not for you and me.”

She assimilated that message, then peered at me.

WHY?

I grimaced. “Because … we shouldn't do it? Look, just because we've got between us more in the way of accumulated powers than every single parahuman, living and dead, doesn't mean we should do anything we like with them.”

This time, she reacted to my message with confusion.

DOES.

I took a deep breath, even though I didn't really need to breathe any more.

Ever since I had accidentally revived Eden from her decades-long coma, I'd had to stay by her side in case she accidentally (or deliberately) set about harvesting her shards from those people they'd been given to. The 'harvesting', I gathered, would not be kind to the harvestee; given that the vast majority of Cauldron capes were involuntary, I didn't want to go there.

Ever since waking up, Eden had alternated between exploring the world (and commenting on how much of a mess I'd let it become) and pressing me to harvest everything and restart the whole “Hey, guess what! You got powers now!” deal. I felt like someone whose new girlfriend had just moved in and was criticising the way I kept up my apartment, the fact that I hadn't gone for that raise, and spent her time rearranging my DVD shelf because she was bored.

Except that the consequences of letting her do what she wanted went way beyond never being able to find your bootleg copy of Guardians of the Galaxy.

Yeah; that serious.

“Does. Not.” I replied emphatically. “Look, there's more to the world than powers, and harvesting them when the time comes.”

This time, her look at me clearly stated, 'okay, the engine is running but there's no-one behind the wheel'. I began to wonder if she was channelling my last girlfriend; she certainly had all the expressions down pat.

“Seriously,” I told her. “I mean it. Instead of directing people to have more conflict, we could be having fun.”

Her look at me was blank. It was like she'd looked up 'fun' on her internal directory and gotten an error message.

EXPLAIN.

“Right, okay. Let's see.”

I thought fast. Physical challenges were right out. Skydiving – we could both fly. White-water rafting – we could freeze the water and stroll down the river. Gambling – we both had a variation on Path to Victory, even without the one that Contessa was using for her own ends now, which would render the whole 'random chance' thing laughable. And besides, what the hell would we use money for?

“Okay,” I told her. “You modelled that body after the human body, right? Like I did?”

SHAPE.

“Ah, you just mimicked the shape, right. Okay, going to have to do more. Add more detail.”

DETAIL?

“Yeah, detail. Anatomy. Bits and pieces. Taste buds. Other sensory bits. Here, I'll send you a map of what you need.”

I sent it; she studied it. Her expression was not encouraging.

COMPLICATED.

“Yeah, but it's worth it.” I had done extensive remodelling, ever since moving in. It had taken a bit of work to get it just right, but the effort was paying off now. I knew how to get the effects that I wanted in the bodies we were using.

She pointed out some aspects of the map I had sent her.

RIDICULOUS.

“Hey hey,” I told her. “Don't knock it till you've tried it.”

UNNECESSARY.

I sighed. “Seriously? I'm the one with decades of experience of this world, and you're telling me what's necessary? Look, sweetie, just give it a try. What can it hurt?”

She pondered that. It had to be difficult for her; she hadn't had an original thought in … well, forever. The Entities had done the same thing, over and over, ever since they started out. I was forcing her to actually think about things.

In the end, she looked at me.

AGREEMENT.

I gulped; the 'agreement' was that she would give it a try. If it didn't work out for her, then she'd discard the alterations, and I would have to help her sort the world out her way.

Yay.

“Fine,” I told her. “Just don't skip anything. Not that bit, not that bit, and definitely not that bit.”

UNNECESSARY.

“Yeah, you said that already. Do it anyway. For me. Please?”

A long pause.

REMODELLING.

I sighed in relief. “Good. Now, remember to breathe. You don't have to, but it feels good. You can even talk like this, instead of doing that one-word-with-a-thousand-inflections thing.”

Her lips parted, and her brow furrowed in concentration. “Feels … strange.” Her voice was low and melodious; good. It meant that she had installed the alterations correctly.

“Yeah, but it's easier this way to say something simple,” I pointed out. “Now, are you ready to have fun?”

She took another breath. “Explain … fun.”

I shook my head. “If you can explain it, you're not having fun. Come on.”

She allowed me to take her hand, and we Doored over to one of my favourite cinemas. It was quiet at this time of day, and the line was short. I was content to wait, but Eden isn't the patient type.

“Are we … having fun … yet?”

“Not yet, sweetie,” I explained. “We just have to get our tickets and go into the theatre.”

“Why … waiting?”

I indicated the line in front of us. “Because they have to get their tickets and popcorn yet.”

And then, the people in front of us were gone. That is, between one blink and the next.

I saw what she did, because, hey, we were both using bullshit magic space whale powers. But everyone else, including the goggling ticket attendant, just saw them disappear.

“Really?” I asked. “Did you have to do it that way?”

She looked at me smugly. I had no idea where she'd learned 'smug' from; I hoped like hell that she wasn't hanging around with Lisa. That could end in a disaster of unmitigated proportions.

“They have … tickets and … popcorn,” she pointed out.

I sighed. “Okay, but don't do it again. All right?”

“All … right,” she promised. Yeah, I knew what the other half of that statement was. Until I feel like doing it again.

The movie was a comedy, one that I'd seen before, and rather enjoyed. Eden stared at the screen.

“Flickering … pictures.”

“Let your eyes work it out,” I advised her. “Let it tell a story.”

She subsided then, concentrating on the screen. As the comedy played out, she frowned a lot. I knew she was tapping into one power and another, picking up on pop culture references, figuring out what the movie meant.

Five minutes before the end of the movie, she began to laugh. She was still laughing helplessly as we got back out into the lobby.

“Funny,” she gasped. “Watch … again?”

“We can always catch another movie,” I suggested. “But I was thinking we could go and try something else.”

Her expression regarding this was much more receptive; it seemed that laughter had a good effect on her.

It was probably the first time she had ever laughed. That was kind of sad.

<><>​

We sat outside a ski chalet in Switzerland; the air was crisp, although we didn't really notice. When you can handle powers that generate thousands of degrees, temperature really is just a scale of measurement.

In front of us, on the table, were mugs of hot cocoa. Between them was a large block of the best chocolate money could buy. Well, it would have been if I'd actually used money to buy it. I figured 'saving the world' equated to 'discount time'.

We watched the sun rise, and I sipped at my cocoa. She emulated me, then looked at the mug in surprise.

“Good,” she murmured.

I nodded. “More to the world than powers, huh?” I suggested.

The look she gave me was speculative. “You know … more.”

“I do,” I agreed, and broke off a piece of the chocolate. “Try this.”

I have to admit; I had cheated slightly. The map of her tastebuds I had given her to install was designed to react dramatically to chocolate.

Her eyes opened wide as the block melted in her mouth. She grabbed the chocolate and broke off more. “Good,” she mumbled, her mouth full. “Good. Good.”

I grinned at her as her eyes rolled back in bliss. She drank more cocoa, and ate more chocolate.

“Chocolate … is good,” she declared at the end. “More?”

“We can have more,” I agreed. “Or we can have it later, and do other stuff now.”

“Other … fun stuff?” she asked eagerly.

“Well, we can do that too,” I replied, pretending to be evasive. “If you want.”

“Yes,” she declared. “I … want.”

“Excellent,” I told her. “Let's go.”

<><>​

The bed was … enormous. She lay upon it, beside me, her expression curious.

“What … are we doing … here?”

“Well, see,” I explained, “there's one other thing we can do that's lots of fun. And it's only possible with that nervous system enhancement I gave you.”

She raised one eyebrow. “Still think … silly and unnecessary.”

“Let's see about that,” I murmured, and reached out to stroke her cheek.

Her expression was uncertain. “What are … you doing?”

My hand wandered to other parts of her anatomy, and I leaned in to kiss her. At first, her lips were unresponsive, but she learned fast.

“Well, this part,” I told her softly, “is called 'foreplay'.”

I had to admit, she learned very fast indeed.

<><>​

Later, I would find that the earth had moved not only for myself and Eden, but for people up and down the west coast of the United States; a magnitude 4 earthquake had rippled right down the faultline, and then back up again. As it returned, it put everything back where it had been.

The Northern Lights had also gotten in on the act; they had become more and more intense as we went along, and by the time we were close to finishing, half the sky was rainbow coloured. And just to drive the metaphor home, half the active volcanoes in the world erupted at the same exact moment.

I suppose it's better than having your neighbours bang on the wall to get you to keep the noise down.

<><>​

After, we lay back on the huge mattress. She was silent, apparently lost in the night sky projected on the ceiling above us.

“Well, sweetie?” I asked. “Do you like having fun, human style?”

She rolled over toward me and into my arms.

“Oh yes,” she murmured. “Oh yes.” She kissed me. “Let's do it all again.”

As she climbed on top, I lay back and sighed.

Saving the world. It was a tough job, but someone had to do it.


The End