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Jump Two Steps to the Left[Jumpchain SI]-World 1: SAO

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by OverReactionGuy, Feb 24, 2016.

  1. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
    Likes Received:
    Welcome to my jumpchain. It will be updated when I feel like it. So anywhere from at least once a week to every two weeks.

    Also, here is a warning, as if this story has an ESRB rating.

    Warning: Rated M for mature; Contains coarse language, suggestive themes, and alcohol consumption.

    At some point this sentence will be deleted to make way for my jump chain builds and you should feel sorry for it.
    (I couldn't bring myself to do it. T.T)​

    age: 20

    gender: female- 50

    Origin: Beta


    Flourishes: free

    conditional: free

    my quest senses are tingling: free

    like riding a bike: -150

    apm intensifies: -300

    Lets not and say we didn't: -600

    tutorial: -100

    roleplay: -100


    digital projection helmet: free

    load out: free

    teleport crystal: -50

    healing crystal: -50

    sturdy shield- 100


    abhorrent admirer: +100

    an inconvenient world: +100

    a game not meant to be played: +300

    Alias: Tankalicious

    age: 20

    gender: female

    appearance: Short and petite and just a little chubby. Blond hair with vibrant green eyes. Has a sorta mousy look or something.

    Don't have nothin' yet.

    Flourish: If you need to do something, make it look good.

    conditional: In the video game SOA can use these for free: switch, item drops, critical existence failure, sword skills

    my quest senses are tingling: Super natural sense to know if someone needs my help, what possible rewards there are and whether if its too strong for me to handle.

    Like riding a bike: My skills never deteriorate and I can recreate skills into different systems or be a sword master with my FISTS!

    AMP INTENSIFIES: God like reflexes with sped up processing power for input to allow me to take calm deliberate action no matter my speed.

    Roleplay: Able to effortless construct identities and keep them separate from things that may break them. Like a fire mage shooting water.

    tutorial: I become a single repeated learner and my teachers find me the perfect student as they teach me better then anyone else.

    Lets not and say we didn't: I am able to anti bullshits someones bullshit with my bullshit. If that is confusing here is the long version of this perk; "Thats dumb and you're dumb. You have the amazing ability to point out something is a bad idea and have it stick. Even without explaining your reasonings people will understand if that reasoning is good or bad. Should the idiot persist, they are compelled to point out their reason- which you can further point out that its dumb. Fuck yeah for OP social skills.

    Digital projection helm

    Starting loadout: newbie armor, starting sword, and some currency.

    Healing crystal

    Teleport crystal

    Sturdy shield: The shield that never breaks and gains double the immunities that you have. Muahahaha.

    I don't have one yet
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2016
  2. Threadmarks: world 1-1

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
    Likes Received:
    Chapter 1: God damn it Kayaba​

    I found myself surrounded by people and thankful of the fact that this was a virtual reality. Otherwise the plaza, or whatever this place is called, would have been overwhelmed with the stench of people pissing or shitting themselves like filthy casuals. Asses. Anyway, the GM started to give this one speech or whatever and surprisingly he wasn't interrupted, so I guess he luck out on finding nine-thousand ninety-nine nice online gamers.

    You'll noticed I excluded myself on that list, for good reason.

    Anyway, deciding on doing the smart choice of not irritating the GM, which was a miracle I was able to hold myself back, I thought back to what led me into this situation I've now found myself in.

    “So...” I paused, looking at the strange little fairy thing that called itself Jump-chan. She looked back at me expectingly. “Free powers,” she nodded her head, “If I die I'll return here with all the powers I gained,” she nodded again, “and I will get to choose where I go and get as long as I keep you entertained somehow?”

    “Yeppers!” She chirped cheerfully.

    “Hmmm....” I mutter and started to stroke my beard as I considered the offer.

    It was a good one, but then again it would require me to do things, but free powers, but doing things.

    It was a really tough choice for me.

    “Eh, why the hell not.”

    “Whoop!” Jump-chan whooped in joy and then I was surrounded by holograms. “These are the current worlds you can go to!” She paused and then stared at me seriously. “Don't go to pokemon, everyone fucking does it as their first jump thinking I love seeing it done over and over again... hell some people don't even finish their journeys in it!”

    “... Ok.” I shrugged as it wasn't my problem. Though I was surprised by the little fairies vehemence when she said that. “I was thinking of playing an MMO first thing anyway. I'm a gamer at heart afterall.”

    All the other holograms faded out, leaving SAO's and I started to fill in what I wanted.

    “You know that's a death game right?” She asked with a tilt of her tiny head.

    “Meh, no skin off my teeth, if I die I just return here.” I logically stated, completely butchering the expression, and finished filling out what I wanted. Jump-chan started looking it over and smiled a mischievous smile that worried me a bit.

    “Are you suuure this is what you want?” She teasingly asked. She giggled with a hand covering her mouth.

    “Yes?” I stared at her confused, wondering what cause that reaction. My eyes widened when I realized something. “Wait, the gender was for the game avatars only right?!”

    A bright light suddenly engulfed me, moving me to the world I chose.

    “Bye, hope you have fun~” Jump-chan stated with a sing-song tone and then winked at the audience, completely ruining the fourth wall in the first chapter. God damn ROBS.

    I was suddenly shocked out of memory lane by people screaming in my ear. Those assholes.

    I sighed and took a more sedate pace out of the plaza, I guessed that Kayaba was done informing people that if they die in the game, they die for real or something. I wondered if he had to show a head exploding in order for the peons to get it, but I decided that I didn't care. As I walked by an alleyway, I peaked through and saw Kirito rejecting Ballsdeep69's love confession before shrugging and heading towards an inn.

    I had something very important to deal with after all.

    Paying the kind old lady NPC for a room for the night, I shut the door, walked over to the bed and then fell on it face first and let out a loud groan.

    The bed was fluffy at least, I didn't go to no cheap ass inn after all.

    The memories of this life hit me full force, all twenty years of it. I was born in Japan, but my parents were both American, stereotypical too. Mother was a blond beauty, even in her current age, that people would think was stupid at first glance. Father was a blond as well, and looked like a surfer... but he's literally a rocket scientist to my mothers successful business womenness. I sadly didn't inherit their figures; Where my mother was a bodacious bade, I was short and mousy. Where my father was muscled beefcake, I'm soft and fluffy. My boobs never grew past the low b-cups that they are, but I at least had fantastic hair that complemented my peachy skin-tone. My eyes were a vibrant green, and I had some freckles beneath them. That, combined with my generally rounder cheeks and short petite stature, had people calling me adorable as I grew up.

    Sadly, now that I did grow up, people also doubt my age usually since I don't look twenty. But I didn't care. I threw myself into videogames with a passion, even got a part time job at a game shop, that I'll likely be fired from when this is over... though, that didn't really matter much.

    Honestly, my enter life was basically created to be a female me. I could see I would have made the same life choices if I was in female me's position, and things like that. So, it isn't as if I just had a major mindfuck that overwrite my bases personality as the memories merged. There was just one small incy twincy problem.

    You see, as a male I was straight. But I started avoiding most social interaction due to how sick I generally got when I was younger and then basically became asexual.

    As a female, I was also straight. Yeah... you can probably see where I'm going with this. But as a female, I had none of the sicknesses that shaped my life so... I had a few boyfriends. I actually had one now. And female me, to my horror, actually slept with them.

    I really did not need those memories burned into my fucking skull. ARGH!

    I groaned again.

    I wondered what that made me? Bi? Or a les with a minor bi curiosity?

    I decided that I was going to repress this shit and deal with it later. But at least, going by my memories, it felt- REPRESSING!

    “I'm going to go get drunk.” I mumbled, still face down on the sheets. “Really, really, really, drunk.”

    So I got up and decided to pay the bar downstairs a visit. I really don't like drinking too, none of my lives did.

    When I next woke up I felt like stabbing a bitch. No I felt like stabbing Kayaba for having realism in this game and simulating a fucking hangover. So yes, I felt like stabbing a bitch. Waking up with a major headache in the morning really, really, makes me really, fucking cranky and as hell.

    Just like my time of the month... oh god I actually have those now.


    “Ugh.” I eloquently put as I blearily opened my eyes. “I blame you jump-chan.”

    I laid there for a few more minutes as I tried regaining my focus. After my head didn't feel like getting hit with a sledgehammer to the face, I looked around to confirm that I was indeed alone. I didn't need regrets first thing in the morning. When I didn't notice any human shapes but my own in the blanket or in the room overall, I concluded that I was alone and likely didn't have any happy fun time last night.

    That actually made me happy, so I sighed in relief. Though I still ended up naked somehow.

    I simply shrugged, opened my menu, and reequipped my cloths and decided to get some breakfast and take a bath. I required something normal to keep my sanity, therefore doing my normal routine even when its pointless in a VR videogame was a good normal habit to get into. I didn't know how long I was going to be in here after all. In canon, they only cleared around seventy floors in two years. So going by escalating hardness, I'd thought it was safe to assume that we'd be stuck here for at least four years, five if we all moved cautiously.

    I was not looking forward to the amount of physical therapy we are all going to need when we get out of here, not to mention psychological therapy and whatever. I had a headache, don't feel like getting words right, so sue me.

    “I need to stop talking to myself.” I muttered as I exited the room, making sure I shut the light off as I went by.

    After eating blueberry pancakes, that were honestly on the meh side, and daily grooming I set off on my journey. My journey to find a quest! No actually, I set off to find a certain rat, we had things to discuss. Though I made sure to PM her first to see if she was awake which, spoiler alert, she wasn't. She's also not a morning person either.

    So after we both tried to out grump eachother, neither of us won, we set up a lunch date at a cafe.

    Which gave me some time to kill. I was fine with that as I needed to get a shield. I play a tank after all, can't be one without a shield. Though, dodge tanking is a thing, all it would take is one slip up on your dodging to kill you. Anyway, on the way to the weapon shop I couldn't help but notice all the lifeless bodies that littered the street. Well, they were technically still alive due to the fact that this is a safe zone, but they all were staring blankly, zoning out like they got apathy syndrome or something.

    I expected something like this would happen, but seeing it just makes me glad I set a goal for me to keep moving forward. But I couldn't help but wonder, would I be like these people if I was actually in the same situation as them? It certainty gave me something to think about as I went by.

    By the time I got to the weapon shop, I decided that no I wouldn't have been like them. I would have been too pissed to lay down and die. I just wish that those people didn't remind me of the hollows in Dark Soul. I paused as I looked through the selection and shuddered. I was never going to do the Dark Soul jump. Same with Bloodborn, I rather be as far away from those worlds as possible. No eldritch abomination cuddles for me no sir E.

    … Come to think of it, I'd rather avoid all worlds that have tentacles in them as a precaution.

    Anyway, I got my shield, and decided to explore the city a bit. It was more of the same anywhere I went. Few people were moving around, some with DETERMINATION, while other just were content to sit on the ground and do nothing, waiting for rescue. I wondered how long it would take for them to realize that the Government can't do shit in this situation and that we are on our own. I wondered what they would do then? Would they stand up and fight? Or would they throw themselves off the floating castle? Canon didn't paint a pretty picture regarding that.

    Which reminded me I needed to find Asuna before she got suicidal and decided to kill herself fighting. Would be kinda hard for me to do in all honesty. I didn't exactly know which inn she holed herself in for days until she decided to do that. But I would keep a look out for her anyway. She was easy minion material and would make a good second command for my guild, she just needed to get out of her funk and for someone to light a fire on her ass.

    I wondered if I could snag Kirito as well.

    I probably couldn't since he's even more anti-social than me, which was saying something. He was also already in another town grinding, about to be led to his death by another beta player only to witness that beta play die because he was stupid, and generally becoming a hermit until the first boss meet up. Which reminded me that I should make sure that entire beater shit doesn't happened because it was really, really, fucking stupid.

    I made a metal note to myself to stop that bullshit before it started.

    Anyway, I continued killing time walking about until it was time to go to the meeting place. My little jaunt through the city allowed me to see the situation for what it was. There were more people waiting for rescue or just shut themselves down than there are the ones that were moving around, doing things. This was something that needed to be changed. We couldn't beat the game without a mass of bodies to throw at the monsters.

    So it was with a frown that I entered the KitCats Cafe and saw my mouse sitting there, still grumbling about this morning, slowly sipping a drink. Argo, the information broker and likely one of the few women in this game that shares my size issues that aren't a loli... though Argo might be fourteen? I didn't know, her character wasn't really expanded upon when I read the story and I didn't really interact with her much during the beta. She noticed my approach and raised an eyebrow.

    “Tankalicious?” She asked incredulously, giving me a once over.

    I sighed at the name, which in hindsight was a stupid thing to use.

    “Yes its me.” I simply confirmed.

    “Your shorter than expected.” She stated with a smirk. My right eye twitched.

    I could already tell that this was going to be a long conversation.

    And done. First chapter of my jumpchain and its mostly my character monologuing. Actually sounds about right. Heh. Sorry if I butcher any characters in the coming chapters, I've only read the translated LN and watched the anime, but it was a good while ago so I may be forgetful.

    Hope at least someone enjoys this as much as I'm going to find it amusing to write.
  3. OSRfanatic1

    OSRfanatic1 ...Meh

    Mar 3, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Par Tzu likes this.
  4. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
    Likes Received:
    Hmm? :D

    Welcome to the forum btw.
    OSRfanatic1 and Par Tzu like this.
  5. RikkuEcRud

    RikkuEcRud I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Mar 19, 2016
    Likes Received:
    I'm curious why your character is estimating 4-5 years to beat the game and get out. Is she planning to interfere with the events that led to Kirito figuring out who Heathcliff is and ending the game on floor 75?
    Par Tzu and OverReactionGuy like this.
  6. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
    Likes Received:
    When I was reading the jumpchain it said something like that isn't going to happen, and that all the floors needed to be cleared. Plus she can't really count on it due to her presence mucking things up.
    RikkuEcRud and Par Tzu like this.
  7. ryune

    ryune Versed in the lewd.

    May 16, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Actually, that little departure is surprisingly hard to derail if you don't do so very early in the story line. Kirito and Asuna were "courting" for nearly the entire time the front line was a thing. If Asuna and Kirito become an Item then Heathcliff is going to challenge Kirito to the arena fight where he figures things out. That said, she does actually have literal years to fuck up that pairing on complete accident.
    Par Tzu likes this.
  8. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
    Likes Received:

    Though, its at this point I wish I could say more without spoiling the plot. :(

    Incidentally, just a few chapters to finish on the other stories I'm writing, and I'll be back to writing this chapter. When this next updates I'm going to try and update it every other week, baring things happening like last week or so.
    Par Tzu likes this.
  9. Prustan

    Prustan I didn't do it!

    Dec 20, 2015
    Likes Received:
    Given the throw-away comment about Kirito rejecting someone, I find myself wondering if you watched the SAO Abridged with insane!Kirito?
    Par Tzu likes this.
  10. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
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    Yep. Though this isn't the abridge world, that was pretty much a shout out.
    Par Tzu likes this.
  11. Threadmarks: world 1-2

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
    Likes Received:
    Chapter 2: Evil Plotting of Heroism​

    “And you're just about as tall as I remember, rat.” I snarked back at her with a false smile, which she responded to with the widening of her infuriating smirk. With pleasantries done, I pulled out a chair and sat down.

    There was a reason why we barely interacted with each other during the Beta. We get along like oil and water... with fire involved and dead sea animals. But sadly, I needed her help if I was going to pull what I was planning off. Though, it shouldn't be too difficult to convince her since this is something she already did in canon, just with less manipulation.

    “So, what did you want Muscles?” She asked dryly and I sighed at that nickname. Maybe setting those parameters during character creation to max, creating a musclely giant, amazon of a girl was a bad idea. I do not have a complex!!!

    Wait a tic, I thought with a blink. I'm going to have to rework my tank playstyle from the ground up aren't I.

    I sighed and facepalmed. She looked at me perplexed and then sipped her coffee.

    “Sooo...” she paused and took another sip of her drink. “What was that about?”

    “Oh, nothing... just figured out that I need to rework my entire fucking playstyle, which is just dandy!” I muttered, my hand still covering my face.

    Fuck it, not important right now. I dragged my hand down my face before finally releasing it, letting Argo see the reds of my eyelids; much to her disgust. Heh. “Anyway, that's not important. Let's just get down to why I called so early in the god awful morning for you to meet me.

    She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

    “Ya, I didn't enjoy that wake up call.” The rat grumbled.

    “I'm not apologizing.” I replied.

    “Didn't think you would.” She said sarcastically.

    “Aaaaannnyways,” I stretched out, making sure she knew I was changing the topic again. “I call you here for one simple reason.”

    She raised her eyebrow, “And that is?”

    “I need you to make a player's guide ASAP.” I stated and then gave her a short bow; making sure she knew exactly how serious I was about this.

    “What do you mean?” She asked, all business now.

    “It's simple really.” I sighed and leaned back in my chair. “People are going to get themselves killed by being idiots that wont even do the tutorial quests in a life and death situation.” I drummed my fingers on the table, I couldn't keep the brief instant of utter hatred from appearing on my expression. Damn unstable emotions. Anyway, If there was one thing I wouldn't forgive, it would be idiocy. To the point if there was a “Leeroy” in my raid party, I'd kill him myself.

    “T-that, actually may happen.” Argo muttered, looking perturbed. “I'll do it.” She looked at me with resolute eyes.

    I smiled.

    “Only a few other things left then.” I said happily at the easiest part being done.

    “What do you want?” She asked while sounding just a bit defensive. I could tell she was suspicious of me.

    “Oh, well first, I just want to confirm the book would be available for free right?”

    “Yes,” she hesitantly said. Normally she wouldn't do anything for free after all, and that just made my smile wider.

    “Good, well you wont be alone!” I exclaimed and brought my hands to the table. “I will be-”

    “May I take your order mistress, Nya~?” I was rudely interrupted by an NPC.

    My eye twitched again and I looked towards the NPC with a strained smile.

    It was a smiling maid, wearing a French maid outfit, a white bonnet in the middle of her cat ears and with a rather proactive skirt that fell just above knee level. I could see her black tail switching around behind her as she looked towards me with a smile.

    My eyes immediately zeroed in on her chest and I found a new reason to hate Kayaba, as I was quickly overtaken by the memories of girl me.

    Fuck you Kayaba I thought with utter loathing. Fuck you and the person that won that contest to get a fucking busty cat girl maid cafe added to the game.

    “I'd like an espresso and some sandwiches please.” I ordered polity even though I was straining to keep a smile on my face.

    “Right away mistress!” The NPC exclaimed before turning away and disappearing from view. I sneaked a glance at Argo and saw her smirking at me.

    That bitch... I thought before saying, “Anyway, before I was interrupted-”

    “Here is your order mistress!” The damn catgirl interrupted me again and sat my order on the table. “That'll be 300 col, Nya!”

    A menu popped up in my vision causing me to sigh as I clicked ok.

    “Thank you, mistress!” The busty catgirl maid suddenly did a spin until she stopped in a pose with a peace sign. I twitched at seeing her sacks of fat jiggle. “I hope you have a NYAtastic day!” she exclaimed before disappearing yet again.

    I am going to stab Kayaba repeatedly by the end of this, I swear. I thought and gave the laughing rat a sour look. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” I grumbled and took a sip of my espresso and then made a face.

    Bleh, needs sugar. I thought, grabbing a couple of sugar packs.

    “Anyway, I'll be sending you information for the guide; My tanking experiences, the general attack pattern mobs take, that sorta thing.”

    It was Argo's turn to blink this time.

    “The best tank in beta giving all that info away for free?” The rat mused, her keen eyes betrayed her interest. “That sorta thing would have gone for a lot of cash; how noble of you.”

    I snorted as I stirred my drink.

    “Noble? Ha! You make me laugh.” I stated flatly and I could tell she was taken back by my sudden outburst. “I'm doing this out of entirely selfish reasons, if it helps someone? Well that's just a coincidence.”

    “What you do you mean, Muscles?” Argo looked at me wearily.

    “Well, tell me Argo? What did you see as you walked here?” I asked, and before she could answer I carried on. “I'll tell you what, a street filled with people that are in denial.”

    "They're waiting for the government to rescue us, though?" She questioned, looking a little disturbed by the sudden mood shift.

    I snorted again before taking a sip of my drink. Just right. I mused.

    “We both know that wont happen, Argo. The best we could hope for from them is to move our bodies to a safe hospital that has a good internet connection, otherwise they risk killing us all.” I stated bitterly, hating having so little control over that.

    “But...they can do something about it, right?” She asked, more to herself. Her body was shaking a little, but I ignored it.

    “I wouldn't count on it, but that's not the problem.” I sat my drink down with a sigh.

    “What's the problem then?!” She nearly shouted and slammed the table with her fist. I raised an eyebrow.

    Why is she angry? I shook my head. Doesn't matter.

    “The problem is the people currently waiting in denial for rescue.” I stated flatly. “Once they get over that, some won't, but some definitely will, they'll want to lash out.” I paused. “Or kill themselves, whatever comes first.” I shrugged nonchalantly. “But the thing is, they will resent those that did not crumble as they did and the likely majority that have been moving out would be the beta testers.” I sighed. “So you see where I'm going with this?”

    “So you're saying they will blame the beta testers?” Her voice was stable, but the level of shaking her body was doing made me worried that she had too much caffeine to drink. “How the hell are you so sure that would happen?”

    Because it was about to happen in the show before Kirito did the stupidly suicidal thing of taking it all on himself with the beater shit. “Human history; be it resentment, jealousy, or just wounded pride... they will go after the most convenient scape goat, and unlucky for us? We're the minority.”

    “That's bullshit!” She exclaimed, hitting the table again; the movement almost spilled my drink, much to my displeasure.

    “Yes, yes it is bullshit. But bullshit that happens a lot.” I let out an annoyed tch at Argo's glare. “Which is why this is going to be a preemptive strike.” I brought my hands down for a Gendo pose to fit my flair for dramatics.

    “The next thing I'm going to do? Well, I'm going to coerce, manipulate, force, and teach a few assholes how to not only play the game, but survive it. Through them I will spread propaganda that would be hard to refute.” I leaned back.

    "Some bullshit like 'we need to stand together in order to survive', 'Kayaba is such a bastard for trapping us here' and so on, filling their heads with shit like that in the hopes it will create a general mood amongst players; This would with luck redirect anger from a potential beta-tester manhunt into a mixture of 'Kayaba, you son of a bitch' and 'Fuck yeah, let's complete this game!', and thus nip the problem in the bud." I took another sip of my fancy coffee and sighed. "There are going to be idiots that try it regardless, but hopefully this will pre-emptively take the wind from their sails."

    I looked towards Argo. She was looking down and sitting there silently as I talked. I could tell she was still angry, but at least she wasn't shaking anymore.

    “Why are you telling me this?” She asked, her voice so small I almost didn't hear it.

    “Simple,” I raised one finger in the air. “The first reason is so in the event I go too far, you could release what you know to the general public so you can stop me.” I raised a second finger. “The second reason, in the case of this creating a massive backlash if people find out, you can use that to shift the blame to me.”

    “Are you crazy?!” She shouted at me.

    “No, and I'm not suicidal either. But I can handle being an outcast better than anyone, and if they try and kill me?” I blanked my face. “I would make them regret it no matter how many people try.”

    “I...I...” Argo tried to say something before throwing her hands in the air and letting out a strangled growl. “I'll message you the details for the guide.” She stood up and left without so much of a goodbye. For the strangest reason I thought I saw tears, trickling down her cheeks.

    It was then I realized what I just did.

    I just trampled on a possibly fourteen-year-old girl's hopes and fears, before telling her there's a likely possibility she'll be hunted by a mob of people. To make matters worse, by informing her of this and a way to curtail it I've effectively made her my accomplice, and if this is found out there's a high chance of horrible backlash and consequences for us both. Finally, I request she sentence me to death if I either go too far or something truly fucks up.

    I sunk down in the chair and leaned foreword until my head hit my hands.

    “Fuck.” I swore and then let out a wordless scream and leaned back in my chair. I stared at the ceiling, watching the fan spin around and around.

    Congratulations Alicia, you're an insensitive bitch. I thought bitterly. Izuya would be horrified to know he was dating the uber bitch that out bitched the bitches.

    I wonder how Izuya was doing? I asked myself, knowing there would be no answer. I'm basically in a coma right now, is he crying at my bedside? Not to mention my family? How are they taking their only daughter being trapped in a death game?

    I let out a bitter laugh at the word “daughter”. But then I managed to remember somewhat of what I did when I was drunk and blushed scarlet. Repress!

    “Ahem.” I cleared my throat, trying to force the inappropriate thoughts away. I started to nibble on a sandwich and went back to my thoughts.

    Is this life nothing more than a fake? My mood quickly sobered as my thoughts took a downward spiral. If it isn't, did I just merge with one of my alternate selves? If I die, would girl me die?

    What happens when I leave?

    “Enough!” I exclaimed and slammed my hands on the table, my drink disappearing in a shower of sparks as I got an immovable object message. My breathing was rough as I tried to calm down my sudden outburst. “No more of that.” I paused to continue taking deep breaths. “What's done is done, no fucking regretting it.” I stood up and left the cafe, leaving a half eaten sandwich and three full ones behind. I didn't feel hungry anymore.

    I decided to go commit boaracide to take my mind off of things. Besides, I couldn't manipulate people looking like a newb that doesn't know how to fight after all. A lot of things hinge on that, and unless I allowed the Beater shit to happen again, it's one of the few ways to avoid a lynching mob.

    I sighed as I walked through the street.

    Such a shitty job I forced on myself. I thought bitterly.

    A little later, I found out a number of things when I started to fight the boars.

    One, there are active people up and about, but not as many Kirito thought there would be grinding the spawn spots.. Two, I was correct in needing to rebuild my playstyle from the ground up. I was missing timing like there was no tomorrow. My attacks had a lot less reach than I was used to as well. Three, I can invent new cuss words for boar when sufficiently motivated.

    I swipe my sword with a <<Horizontal>> slash as I sidestepped the charging boar, my timing off once more and resulting in yet another trip to the ground on my ass. Oof.

    “Mother porking wannabe bacon!” I exclaimed from the ground and turned to look at the boar that was starting to turn around and charged with a piggy roar of wrath for his fallen brethren; wanting to take advantage of fallen adventures moment of weakness!

    “I've been grinding pigs too long.” I muttered as I grabbed a pebble from the ground. “It's causing me to narrate the stupidest things.” I waited a bit and chucked the pebble at the charging boar.

    My eyes opened wide at the crashing sound and the tell tale sign of a critical hit, and then shattering noise of the boars death.

    “How the fuck did that even happen?!” I exclaimed, rather confused at that porker's fate; I absent-mindedly hit the confirmation button for the loot popup as I thought it over.

    That was one mystery I would never figure out.

    And done. As you can see in this chapter, my SI isn't exactly the nicest person and has a few issues to work through. Also, if you squint, you can see one of her drawbacks coming into play!

    Incidentally, I may change up my character sheet because I honestly don't need the anti-bullshit bullshitting perk.

    Anyway, hope ya enjoy. CIAO!!!!

    P.S. Tell me if I'm way off based on Argo's character. I shall need to know in the future.
    Last edited: May 24, 2016
  12. Fredo

    Fredo Eternal Lurker

    Jan 20, 2015
    Likes Received:
    "My god, I've stumbled across the most powerful weapon in the game! The Mithril Pebble of Pig Smiting!"
    Xion930, Par Tzu, bearblue and 5 others like this.
  13. Tree Branch

    Tree Branch The bigger stick

    Mar 28, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Crazy mechanics, making thrown weapons benefit greatly from Strength and getting headshots. The Amazon should exploit the shit out of that, maybe get a thrown weapon that benefits from her drawback anger? No rule saying that tanks can't use ranged attacks.
    Xion930, Par Tzu and bearblue like this.
  14. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
    Likes Received:
    Problem is that the only range throw weapons in SAO are pebbles, darts, and ninja stars. The last one requires a unique skill that only be unlocked on like floor 80 I believe.
    Par Tzu likes this.
  15. Tree Branch

    Tree Branch The bigger stick

    Mar 28, 2016
    Likes Received:
    ...that's weak. Can't she get creative?
    Xion930 likes this.
  16. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy The only Sane one left

    Oct 10, 2014
    Likes Received:
    SAO was really just meant to be melee ranged mostly, so even if she could it basically wouldn't work. Range weapons are just used to pull mobs closer to the player for the most part in SAO.
    Xion930 and Par Tzu like this.