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User | Total |
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The Ero-Sennin | 5 |
It was the first good night's sleep Ron had ever enjoyed at Camp. After a hearty meal and getting to know his new roommate, Ron and Rufus had settled in and slept the entire night. For all of his misgivings, Camp Gottagrin was turning out to be a positive experience. The campers were friendly, there weren't bugs everywhere, the other campers were friendly, and above all else it was peaceful–
"IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP! COME ON, LET'S GO! RISE AND SHINE!" Mabel boomed as sje kicked open the door to his and Dipper's room, banging a frying pan with a spoon. "WE GOTTA GET MOVING!"
Ron, screaming, fell off the top bunk. Rufus, nearly taken with him, groggily sat up near Ron's pillow and stared at the already dressed and pressed Mabel.
"Mabel…" Dipper, only lightly stirred by the racket, sat up and stared at his sister. "You could've just knocked."
"The only knocking winners do… is out!" Mabel hit the pan like she was officiating a boxing match for emphasis. "So get up, boys, the day's not gonna square up to itself!"
Dipper looked down at Ron, who was still dazed after falling out of bed. "I don't think he's waking up anytime soon."
"Nonsense," Mabel looked out into the hallway. "Waddles! Get in here!"
Dipper and Rufus both watched as a cute, chubby pink pig with a darker pink spot on his left eye trotted into the room and began licking Ron's face.
With a grunt, Ron began to regain consciousness. "Whuh… why am I on the floor…?" He woke up to his face being licked by a young pig. "AHHH! PIG!" He yelled as he sat upright. Stopping, he stared at Waddles. "Wait, a pig?"
"He's mah ba~by." Mabel sang with a mother's pride.
Ron looked up at Mabel, who was in her Cheerleading uniform and looking even more sparkly than when he first saw her. "Why are we up so early and why do you look perfect already?"
He pointed at Waddles. "And why a pig?!"
"Like me, Waddles is perfect, to answer the most important question." Mabel first explained. "As for why you need to get moving? Cheer Camp Kickoff is right after breakfast and everyone who is going to be on stage has to get up, get breakfast, and get ready to perform." She pointed the wooden spoon at him. "Which means YOU have to get your butt moving, Mister Man. The Mascot Showcase is happening right after the Highlander's routine, and everyone's gonna want to see the Mad Dog.
Ron scrambled to his feet, surprised. "Wait, hold on, no one told me I'd be doing my mascot performance!"
"Relax, it's just a showcase!" Mabel patted him on the back really hard. "You're just gonna go up with the rest of the Mascots and when you're introduced, do your Mad Dog howl and show them what School Spirit means! You'll kill it!"
With that she headed down the hall. "Now get ready to go!"
Waddles all but galloped after her, the pudgy little guy being surprisingly fast on his tiny hooves.
Recovering from the back slap, Ron watched Mabel and Waddles leave. "Showing up to Cheer Camp with a pig. Where does she get her confidence from?"
"In her defense, Waddles is super popular with girls," Dipper revealed.
Sure enough, a chorus of teenaged girls fawning over Waddles filled the air before the front door of the cottage swung closed.
"Wow, that's some pig," Ron said.
Rufus folded his arms and let out a harumph of mock jealousy. His naked mole rat expression returned to full brightness as Ron reached for and picked him up.
"So, what are our plans for Clown Camp?" He asked Dipper as Rufus scrambled up his arm to his shoulder.
Dipper looked out the window and across the lake at distant Clown Camp. "I'm going to spend all day converting this spot into my Clown Camp surveillance center. Since I'm a plus one, it's not like I'm attending any of the workshops or anything. After the lights go out tonight, I'm going to actually go out and set the cameras up."
Ron grabbed up the duffel bag containing his complete Mad Dog costume and the two walked downstairs to leave the cottage. "Hold on, you're not seriously going into those woods at night on your own, are you?"
"It's not the scariest thing I've ever done at night," Dipper assured him.
"Yeah, but we don't know what kind of Clowns we're dealing with yet. So, count me in on setting up those cameras with you."
"What kind of adventure?"
Both young man looked to their right at a tall, lanky, dark-skinned Thai girl wearing the gray and purple uniform the St. James High School students wore as well as white and yellow high-top sneakers. She had bushy, auburn-colored hair pulled down into a low bunch, and eyes that matched her hair in color.
"Because I'm a plus one, and I am already done with this camp," she said.
Ron and Dipper looked at each other, then back at her.
"How do you feel about clowns?" Dipper asked.
The girl raised an eyebrow, stole a glance towards Clown Camp, and asked in turn. "… Why?"
Ron answered. "We think that Clown Camp is suspicious so we're going to set up cameras to make sure they're not up to anything evil."
Now the girl was invested. "How is Clown Camp suspicious?"
She looked again towards Clown Camp.
"Well, who goes to Clown Camp?" Dipper asked.
Ron clarified the question further. "Who would admit to going to Clown Camp?"
The girl's eyes grew wide, as if her mind had been opened to the secrets of the universe. "Oh my gosh." She looked over at the Camp across the lake again. "What's going on over there?!"
"Exactly!" Dipper shouted, vindicated.
The girl nodded. "Okay, I'm in."
In spite of her reaction, Ron was still surprised that she'd be onboard. "Really?"
"I mean, either Clown Camp is actually evil, you're just really, really weird, or you're smoking something quality. Either way, that's better than dealing with cheerleaders all week."
At that moment, a very annoyed-looking Bonnie marched out of the cottage and shouldered past the girl, headed for the center of camp. She didn't even look at the girl, much less at Ron and Dipper as she strode with a purpose.
The girl pointed after Bonnie. "I don't even know who that was; she just barged into my cottage and spent most of the night being a total bitch." She held up her hand like she was about to strike someone with the knife edge of it. "I almost throat-chopped her."
Ron felt nothing but sympathy for her. "Well, welcome to the team. I'm Ron Stoppable."
She did a double take. "Wait, like Kim Possible's sidekick Ron Stoppable?"
It was really nice being recognized for his work. "Yeah."
Dipper stepped up, extending his hand. "And I'm Dipper Pines."
Taking his hand, the girl shook it. "I'm Anne Boonchuy. So… what are you smoking?"
"Sorry, no drugs," Dipper replied, "We're just really, really weird."
Still shaking his hand, Anne looked at both Ron and Dipper, then shrugged her shoulders. "I can work with weird."
The Camp Kickoff Ceremony was nothing short of spectacular, as the national championship winning Piedmont Highlanders Cheer Squad took to the stage to commence the camp with their performance. To Queen's bombastic anthem "Princes of the Universe" the coed squad was as electrifying as the Quickening, its flyers soaring ten, fifteen feet off the ground, twirling and spinning before landing safely and precisely in the arms of their bases.
They attacked the crowd like the ferocious warriors described in the lyrics, getting the entire audience in on the song within the first verse as lightning and shooting stars provided by the stage's advanced projectors lashed across the stage. When the music was over and the mist from fog machines cleared–everyone in the audience knew why Mabel Pines was the champion of her craft, as she alone held aloft one of her squad's flyers above her head in her open palm like a statue holding aloft a sword to challenge the sky.
"Wow…" An awestruck Jessica murmured. "… It gets better every time I see it."
Liz nodded slowly, as Mabel let down her squadmate and the audience cheered. "They really are the rulers of us all."
Bonnie was in no good mood. In fact she looked downright agitated as she watched their routine, scoffed. "That's what I'm talking about. She spent like half of that routine just throwing people into the air like they were batons. If she slipped up even once, she'd be so toast."
Tara thought it was too early for this. "But she didn't slip up, because she's focused on being there for her team rather than being above them."
Bonnie did a double-take at Tara, as Kim agreed. "That's right, they're a squad and they're cheering like one. Take notes, girls, because the next six days are going to be all about how we can up our game and take on the cheer gods."
The brunette cheerleader turned her ire from Tara to the source of it. "Not all of us need to up our game. Some just need to stop cheering like they copied their entire routine from Bring It On."
It was too early for Kim, too, as she took the bait and glowered at Bonnie. "And some of us need to remember that cheerleading requires a squad."
Bonnie perked up and smirked when she got the rise she wanted, and she immediately capitalized. "It also requires a Captain–one preferably from the 2010s, not the 1990s."
Kim decided she wasn't going to get into it with her this early. "I'm gonna check up on Ron before the Mascot Showcase starts."
Tara had something of an entranced smile as she nodded in agreement, and the other cheerleaders, save Bonnie, giggled at her reaction. Feeling a bit better to end it on a positive note, Kim nodded and headed down the steps from the nosebleed section of the amphitheater.
On stage, the Director and Host of the Cheer Camp was on the stage as the Piedmont Highlanders repositioned themselves at her flanks and rolled their purple and white pom poms hand over hand. "Let's hear it for our National Champions, the Piedmont Highlanders, for kicking off our Cheer Camp!"
After a round of applause, the host continued as Mabel joined her side carrying a long brown case. "We have a lot to cover this week and plenty of workshops for all of you covering routines, individual stunts, leadership, choreography, and much, much more! Above all, though, we want you to have fun and show what it means to have that Cheerleader Spirit! That's why, in addition to various awards that will be handed out to our attending squads at the end of the camp, we will be handing out to the Cheerleader with the most super-duper attitude and mad cheer skills…"
Mabel opened the case, and the host produced a red, white, and blue baton with a golden star at the end of it. "… The NCA All-Star Spirit Stick!"
As the other cheerleaders applauded, Bonnie stuck her nose up. "They might as well give it to me now."
Bonnie's self-aggrandizing was cut short by Sasha calling out as she walked up to the pack of Mad Dogs. "That's not the most super-duper attitude to have, there, Rockwaller."
The smug look on Bonnie's face disappeared as she turned on the SJHS Sharks' Captain. "Oh, yeah, I've got some for you, too!"
"Oh?" Sasha asked.
Standing up, Bonnie walked up to her. "I almost got chewed out by the camp counselors because you didn't tell anyone else you were trading bunks with me! I literally walked in on that loser friend of yours and she freaked out!"
Sasha was suddenly less enthused. "I'm sorry, what did you just say about my bestie?"
"Don't try to change the subject; you set me up!" Bonnie argued back.
The Mad Dog Cheerleaders watched in silence, with other schools' cheerleaders turning to look, as Sasha replied. "I set you up with one of the best cribs on the campground, try not to be such a baby about it."
"How about you show me some respect, first?!" Bonnie snapped back while leaning in close to demonstrate she would not be intimidated.
"Setting aside that I've already been generous to you–respect is earned, not given. If you want to go back into Cabin 9 with Kim, I will gladly take back my lakeside view and queen-sized bed."
The other Mad Dog cheerleaders looked at Bonnie with shock and disgust.
Hope was especially pissed off. "Girl, are you serious? You're sleeping in a champion's cottage and acting like this?!"
The harsh reaction, and the attention of other cheerleaders besides her own snatched the wind out of Bonnie's sails. "Hold on–"
Tara then straight up said it. "Bonnie, sit down and shut up. You're making us look bad!"
Bonnie's eyes darted at the people now staring at her, then back to Sasha's ruthlessly smirking face–that just as quickly shifted more neutral. "I won't kick you out of the cottage, but if you want to stay there, and earn that Spirit Stick? Put some more super-duper in that attitude."
Her defeat came without another word, and the brunette cheerleader dropped back down to sit on the bench. She could hear the ripple of chuckles and scandalous whispers among the other cheerleaders–but more important than that were the harsh looks her own teammates shot her before they focused their attention back on the stage.
Glancing out the corner of her eye, Bonnie watched Sasha turn and cast an impish look over her shoulder at her, before rejoining her own squad right next to the Mad Dogs.
Back stage, as the Host explained the various events that would go on in more detail before the mascots went out, Ron was pulling on his complete Mad Dog mascot costume while Anne texted on her smart phone and Dipper and Mabel spoke nearby.
"How was that, Sir Dipping Sauce?" Mabel asked as she bounced up to him.
"You did great; this routine was up five percent over the last time. Though you might want to talk to Angelica about her timing. She was about a half-second off during the second verse and didn't pick it back up."
As she bolted off, Dipper called after her. "Don't forget to go over what she did right! Her first verse was amazing, and her hair is perfect!"
He turned to Ron, who was struggling with his costume. "Need help with that?"
"No, I got it," Ron assured him, even when it looked like he was having a time of it.
Anne looked up from her phone at Dipper. "So, you help your sister out a lot with this stuff, huh?"
Dipper confirmed it. "Well, I just watch her routines and track what goes right and what doesn't. Then I compile my findings and hand them off to her."
That sounded reasonable to her. "So that's why the Highlanders are so good…"
"No, that's all her using her tremendous powers of infinite energy and unstoppable charisma for good. I just record everything for review."
Ron looked up from his struggles with his full costume. "You're being too modest; if our squad reviewed their routines more, we'd probably be a lot better than we are now."
Dipper let out a short laugh. "It's hard to imagine Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable being a part of something mid."
"We're not mid, the squad just…" Ron trailed off as Kim and Bonnie's dynamic intruded on his reassurance. "… Has a lot of clashing personalities."
Anne turned from Dipper to Ron. "Yeah, how can you stand having that one girl, Bonnie? My friend Sasha leads the Sharks and didn't tolerate that kind of crap for a second when she made captain. She had all the stuck up chicks out by the end of the month and they've been winning since."
Ron shrugged his shoulders. "I'm gonna just chalk it up to Kim just being too nice…" He tried reaching for and grabbing the zipper again. "… And I guess Bonnie never doing anything bad enough to make Kim want to throw her off the squad."
"Are you sure? Because I really want to throat-chop her."
Dipper put forth a theory. "Well, if you spend your free time fighting supervillains, would you sweat the small stuff?"
After letting out a contemplative hum, Anne conceded. "Yeah, good point."
While they were on the subject of Supervillains, Gil walked up to Ron and patted him on the back. "Hey, Ronnie." He reached for the zipper. "Is your zipper stuck, dude?"
Jumping, Ron turned and faced him. "Hey, can you not come near me?!"
Gil recoiled. "Whoa, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. Also, you look like you were having trouble with your costume."
"I said, I got it!" Ron sassed back. "How about being helpful by not reminding me of everything I hate about camp?"
Dipper stepped up, the taller young man immediately leveraging his height to stare Gil down. "Yeah, Lake Gottagrin is big enough for the two of you–be somewhere he isn't."
Anne, who was up to speed on the whole Gil situation, joined him. While not as tall as Dipper, she easily cleared Gil's height with her own. "Yeah, lil' man, you'd better respect his personal space…" She narrowed her eyes. "Before I disrespect yours."
Ron looked at Anne. "Whoa, maybe tone down the hostile energy there."
"He's right," Kim said as she took the back of Ron's costume, and zipped it up before looking over his shoulder at Gil. "There's enough drama at Cheer Camp."
Surprised that he'd been ganged up on so quickly, Gil's expression hardened and he turned and walked away. "Tch… fine, whatever. I'm just trying to be nice…"
Kim watched him go like a hawk. "Hey, Ron? If he comes near you at all and I'm not around? Let me know."
Ron protested. "Aw, Kim, you know I can't let this ruin Cheer Camp for you." He stepped over to Dipper and Anne, putting his hands on their shoulders. "Besides, I got these two to watch my back."
Her attention turning to Anne, Kim wondered where she came from. "… Uh, okay?"
Anne took a deep breath and tried not to freak out in the presence of a world-renowned celebrity. "Hi Kim, I'm Anne, and I am a big fan."
She'd already been doing it so much since she got here, Kim took the praise on autopilot. "It's nice to meet you. And thanks for watching out for Ron. I'm going to be way busy with Captain stuff so it's nice to know you and Dipper are on his side."
As Anne fawned over the naked mole rat, who happily jumped into her hands to bask in her adoration, Dipper addressed Kim. "That Gil kid is trying too hard to get access to Ron."
"Yeah, he is," Kim replied. "I'm gong to keep an eye on him and run interference how I can. Ron really doesn't need this."
Dipper agreed. "You're a good friend."
"And you're just…" She stared at Dipper for a second, before looking away. "Way too nice?" She turned and flashed him a smile. "Anyway, I'm gonna go watch the showcase, thanks!"
She quickly heeded over to the edge of the stage and the mascots lining up in preparation for heading out on stage. Watching her go, Dipper turned to Anne.
"Did she just…?"
Anne looked from Dipper to Kim and then back again. "Man, I am so jealous."
The largest building at the camp site was broken into four main sections. Two that were directly connected were the actual dining area, consisting of rows of tables where campers could sit down and eat food collected from the Buffet-style serving tables, and the recreational area that featured pool tables, a handful of arcade tables, and video games set up in the corners. One of the separated sections was the kitchen, where numerous cooks both human and artificial prepared meals at a high pace and volume to meet the needs of hundreds of campers.
The other separated second was the staff dining room, which was considerably more upscale and featured even its own hibachi grill setup. In this room, the head chaperones for the Cheer Camp were all gathered at the long, white-clothed table serving the finest in Japanese cuisine cooked off the grill by a beautiful dark-haired Japanese American woman with piercing green eyes with a hawk-like gaze.
The cook was hard and swiftly at work preparing food for everyone in the room–aided by several wait staff who'd quickly pick up dishes and hand them out to the chaperone guests. There were awed gasps and brief periods of applause as her almost glowing knives parted ingredients like she was cutting through air.
At the head of the table, Sycorax's Executive manager of their Environmental Impact Mitigation, Travis Malone was explaining what was happening to Mr. Barkin.
"Omakase; it basically means 'leave it to the chef.' You're putting your dining experience in the hands of a chef with years of Michelin Star level experience."
Mr. Barkin was unimpressed. "I've served in Japan and spent five years stationed around the Bay Area, I know a thing or two about Japanese cuisine."
Travis was a bit taken aback by the stern educator's dismissal of his attempt at flexing. "Is everything okay, Mr. Barkin?"
He gestured to him. "Ever since we sat down, you've been particularly unhappy… or at least I think. It's really hard to tell, with you Desert Storm Vets."
"I never served in Desert Storm," Barkin replied. "Only combat I saw was in Somalia. The Battle of Mogadishu, 1993."
Travis was taken aback by that. "Oh…" His eyes grew a bit larger as he attached some historical recollection of that battle. "Oh, m-my apologies."
"To answer your question, I'm afraid not, Mr. Malone. I've got more than a little concern about a certain individual attending the camp and I want an explanation for it."
"Causing problems? No. being a problem? We'll see." Barkin pointed a finger at Travis. "Moss, Gilbert, the mascot for Hidden Lake High. Why were we not informed he'd be attending when we were invited?"
Mr. Malone tried to put a face to the name. "Gilbert…?"
As he asked the name aloud, the doors opened and Kim walked in. Rightly assuming what the conversation was about just by how Mr. Barkin was scowling at the Silicon Valley Manbun Aficionado, Kim elaborated.
"He goes by Gil? I'm pretty sure you're familiar with his name."
Mr. Barkin turned to Kim. "Possible, this is a staff only area."
Travis lit with recognition. "Oh, Gil!"
"Yes, Gil," Kim reiterated.
Travis raised his hands in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry if his presence causes discomfort, but rest assured–Sycorax has done a great deal to decontaminate him and help him rehabilitate into society."
"Even if he's been rehabilitated, which I don't doubt, trying to put him and Ron in the same cabin? So not cool."
Mr. Barkin did a double-take. "You tried to force one of my students into a cabin with someone who attempted to murder him?"
Travis vehemently protested that. "Whoa, hold on! Gil was not in his right mind when he did those things, and we've proven as a fact, legally, that he is physically and mentally stable as well as a functioning member of society who is safe to be around other people."
Kim folded her arms. "And why weren't any of us told about this?"
Travis sighed. "Goodness' sake, man… I'm going to say some strong things to the public relations department about this. First, let me start by apologizing… it was not supposed to go down like this. Next, let me explain."
Finished cooking and plating up another serving, the chef looked out the corner of her eyes at Kim and held her gaze on the young woman for a moment.
"This is the first season where Lake Gottagrin is open to the public, since Sycorax finished the cleanup of the lake shoreline. When the NCA suddenly came to us to host the All Star Camp, we had to mark it in a big way–and one of the geniuses in marketing? Man, they suggested that Gil coming here, spending time at the camp, and burying some hatchets would be a good look."
As Travis explained himself, Kim noticed the chef staring and met her gaze. With a bit of confusion, Kim silently conveyed if there was a reason she was being so intently stared at. The woman's unspoken response was one of recognition before shifting to a cordial nod of acknowledgement.
Kim respectfully nodded back, before she returned her attention to Travis palming his face. "I guess whoever that wizard was left you guys out of the loop and, again…" He brought his head up to address both Kim and Mr. Barkin. "I am so sorry if Gil being here has been a giant scare for all of you."
Mr. Barkin's permanent scowl hardened into visible skepticism as he rendered his verdict. "Well, in the future make sure everyone is on the same page. And unless anyone consents to it, keep Gil away from my cheerleaders."
"And mascot," Kim chimed in.
"And mascot!" Barkin added.
Travis nodded quickly in surrender to the two. "You need not say more. I'll make sure it's sorted out–you won't see Gil again until the end of the week."
"Good," Barkin and Kim said in unison. The two looked and smiled to one another in mutual acknowledgement, before Barkin pointed to the door. "Possible! Staff only, out!"
"So…" Travis said, a bit awkwardly. "Mogadishu?"
"It was terrible, I don't like to talk about it," Barkin said, hoping to make things a little more awkward for the office worker.
"You know… when I was in the Air Force, I was deployed to Shanghai for Operation Reclaiming Jade."
And suddenly Mr. Barkin was a lot more cordial. "Oh, a fellow veteran! I couldn't tell because of all that fancy tech startup attitude."
"Are you kidding? Most flyboys coming off their commission go straight into tech."
As the doors closed behind her and she made a bee-line for the exit of the dining hall, Kim brought her hand up to her ear and turned off the speaker mute of the bluetooth earpiece her hair hid. "Wade, did you hear that?"
Wade yawned and replied. "All I heard was a whole lot of corporate kowtowing. He's definitely good at kissing butt to avoid liability."
Kim agreed. "He covered Sycorax's end, but everything else? Still sketch."
"I'll start digging deeper," Wade said, "See what I find out on my end. What about you?"
"I'm going to talk to Gil and see if there's something I can pick up from him. Call me as soon as you hit anything we need to know."
"What about Ron, should I call and tell him to meet you?"
Kim's brow furrowed. "Ron's been through enough coming to Lake Wannaweep. I'm going to deal with the Gil sitch so he won't have to."
From the sound of it, Wade was grateful. "I think that's the right idea. Ron's stories about camping were part of why I was an agoraphobe for a while."
"Aren't you still an agoraphobe?"
"No, I'm just an antisocial shut-in. When I have to go outside, I hate it instead of fear it."
Ending the call, Kim reached her cabin and all but barged in. She found Sasha sitting at the vanity beside their bed, brushing her hair out while she watched a makeup tutorial on her phone. Spotting Kim in the vanity mirror, Sasha looked back.
"Hey Roomie," she greeted as Kim shut the door behind her and went straight for her duffel bag. "What's up?"
"Nothing," Kim replied as she pulled up her neatly folded up mission attire–a simple but durable black turtleneck and green cargo pants. Seeing the clothes and the black hiking shoes added to the pile, Sasha raised her right eyebrow in curiosity.
"You sure? Because it kinda looks like you got plans tonight."
Kim stopped, and then gave Sasha a pointed look. "What if I do?"
With a smile, Sasha shrugged her shoulders. "Then nobody heard it from me."
Smiling back, Kim pulled from the duffel bag a utility box and a durable plastic case. She opened it, revealing one of her favorite pieces of equipment: her grappling hook gun.
Tonight could be a busy night, and she wanted to be prepared.