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My Light Novel Isekai Story is Stressful As Expected (Eiyuu Senki Friend Insert ft. NekoNekoBoy)
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Chapter 1: Thunderstruck
Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2013
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Author's Note: A "friend insert" is similar to a "self insert", except that the former has zero knowledge of the setting they're being oh so gracefully shoved into, unlike the latter. I have been inspired by the great work of BakaSmurf and luckychaos on SB, and NekoNekoBoy was more than wiling to jump on the pain fun train.
Now, before anyone comments on this story, remember: ANY AND ALL SPOILERS THAT AREN'T REVEALED IN-STORY YET MUST GO IN SPOILER BOXES. Neko has absolutely zero knowledge of the world he's in, and I intend to keep it that way. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Not that I expect many to know the source material (it's the PS3 version, btw). In that case, I hope it will be an exciting read for all who doesn't but are still interested.
====
Chapter 1: Thunderstruck
====
I woke up in the rain, which was funny considering when I went to bed last night I was pretty sure I had a roof over my head.
And didn't have a bunch of dirty men in ragged clothes hold bows up to me, staring at me with what I could only assume was a shocked look on their faces. I can't tell, you can barely see their faces through the grime and mud.
Seriously go take a bath or at least dump water on yourself.
With a slight groan I raised my right hand to my head only to realize that I was holding a crystal blue sword, perfectly showing my armored form in the reflection.
"...What." I said flatly as I shook my head around, snapping myself out of the 'Just Woken Up Haze' and back into reality, or what I think is reality...
My eyes immediately snapped to my free hand. Let's see... One, two, three, four, five, yep I was awake.
"What the actual hell?" I mumbled as the world seemed to remind me of a couple of facts.
One, it was storming. Two, I was in armour with a sword while also having no idea how I got them, or here in general. And three... I wasn't alone.
"...Who's there?" A voice, a guy I think, said from behind me. Turning my head a bit I came face to face to... a bunch of Japanese Samurai? Uh, am I missing something? I'm probably missing something because seriously, what the hell?
"Wait... He came from the heavens?" Another of them exclaimed, with what I can only describe as awe worming its way up his face. Or what I could see of it. His helmet got in the way of most of it but he just radiated 'Slackjawed Sucker' even though he was like, totally wrong last time I checked.
Unless of course a God would come and prove me wrong any second now. Really? No takers? I have a sword and could use a little... practice.
"The heavens..." This time it's a girl. A miko to be precise, if my knowledge of anime was being correct and I wasn't just appropriating an entire culture. Or something, is that how you use that word? Appropriating? Fuck me I'll just roll with it. "A Servant of... Heaven?"
"...Am I." I replied back, taking her in a bit more. The first thing I noticed, besides the weird blue gems all over her red and white and probably shrine outfit was that she was carrying a stick with golden things and... no wait, that really is the best way to describe it. What the hell do you even do with that? "You think so?"
"Yes... Yes Lady Himiko!"
"Truly, a Servant of Heaven!"
"Oh... The heavens have sided with us! Our flag bears victory!" Miss Fancy Stick Lady exclaimed. "Push those bandits back, and show them what the Himiko Army is made of!"
"Okay so that's a yes then." I nodded. Uh, right well, what did they want me to do? Oh yeah, Bandit Attack or something. Wait how do I go about that?
The answer hit me. It was blindingly obvious and I can't believe I didn't think of this immediately.
Hire a Samurai.
"Uh okay, Charge." I declared, pointing my sword at what are presumably bandits and not just angry poor people. I had no idea what the actual fuck was going on but fuck it, why not. I'll figure this all out later.
"You heard him! The Servant of Heaven will protect us!" The girl shouted. "This is our chance! Fight back everyone! Let's destroy those bandits!"
Aw crap I was actually going to have to jump in there and I had no idea how to fight with a sword. A small amount of fight training yes, guess I'll just have to approximate boxing with sword fighting.
The bandits' reaction was slow, as if they didn't expected their target to fight back at all. Or maybe it was the whole 'Servant of Heaven' bit, that would throw anyone off. Only when my hired goo- I mean, the Samurai Army charge with a war cry did they finally react, the stunned archers hurrying to the rear of their group while their place was taken by men wielding cheap-looking spears, pitchforks and... farming sickles. Great job guys. A few of them also wielded katana, something they most likely scavenged from a battlefield if the rust wasn't-
Hah! Holy shit some of them are even broken! What are they gonna do, shank us in the middle of the battlefield? Wait I take that back don't listen to me keep doing what you're doing.
To say the next few minutes were chaos would be the understatement of the goddamn century. Not knowing what the hell I was doing and mostly on the fast track to getting killed, I ran in with the shrine maiden army and went with what was clearly the best plan ever: swing my sword at anyone in front of me.
"Curse you!" One of the bandits yell as he fell in a pool of blood. I didn't have any time to process that before I had to slip to the side as a spear was aimed where I was just standing. My hands moved before I even realized what I was doing and soon another body fell to the floor with a scream.
Oh...
Okay so not the best plan. Oh good lord his organs are spilling out- NO TIME TO PROCESS THAT FUCKING SHANKERS!
====
It was only when their numbers were reduced to a quarter of their initial group that the bandits finally took the hint things were not going in their favor and began to rout, their formation breaking apart as everyone ran away by themselves. Most sought refuge in the forest, while a few others took the road in the opposite direction from where they came from.
"Phew...! I think we're good for now. I thought we might not make it..." The girl then addressed me, looking a bit embarrassed. Or was it shyness? I couldn't be assed to tell. "Um... I don't know your name, Servant of Heaven, but thank you for rescuing us!"
...I looked at the scene of battle once again, a carnage of corpses lying on the floor while the feeling of death suffocated the air. It was a sight I never thought I'd see in my life, being a first world person and all. Yet here I was, bloody sword in hand, slightly injured, and having just killed more people than I ever thought I would.
And strangely, it didn't feel real. More like the tragedies you hear on the news or in history, events that happened but you'll never know the full terror and sadness of what actually went down.
"...You don't need to thank me." I sighed, shaking my head. "I didn't do anything, you managed to do this by yourselves."
"No, we would have surely lost, or worse, if it wasn't for you!" She shakes her head. "You are most definitely a Servant of Heaven! You descended from the sky and saved us. I'll never forget that brilliant light..."
"Brilliant light?" I mumbled. "I uh, I... Don't remember that."
Okay no seriously how did I get here? Did some god just stumble across my sleeping form and thought "Hey, you know what would be funny?" before dumping me here? Because if so... that God can get fucked.
"Okay so- but no, seriously, where am I?" I asked the miko.
"What? You don't remember?" She made a shocked face indicating I probably fucked up. "Those bandits were like 'Ah ah! I have you now my pretty!'. Then they shot their arrows at us and I was like 'Oh no! I'm going to die! Someone save me!'. But before the arrows hit there was a great flash of light from the heavens, and when I opened my eyes all the arrows missed and you were standing in front of me with your beautiful sword drawn, as if saying 'Begone foul cretins! You shall not pass!', and it was so heroic and amazing!"
She said all of that without pausing even once holy shit don't you need to like, breath?
"That... Is not what I remember at all but uh, thanks for the recap." How the hell do you even follow up to that? "I meant like, where am I and who are you people?"
"Oh, my apologies. Allow me to introduce myself." She bowed. "I am Himiko, Queen of Yamatai - a part of Zipang. I don't know your name: could you be so kind as to tell me what it might be?"
Well she went formal super quick. Now let's see name name name... Should I just go with my screen name?
No wait that's stupid. Think think think...
"You can call me, uh Chen..." FUCK I NEED A LAST NAME- "Miyafuji."
Fuck me, at least I didn't go with Takamachi. I guess I was now a mixture between Touhou and Strike Witches. Goddammit I haven't even seen Strike Witches!
"Ah, what a wonderful name." No it's not. "Chen-sama, I will never forget this debt. I owe you my life and those of my soldiers. I wish for you to heal your wounds in my country. Let me know if there is anything at all I can do for you."
"Well, I have no idea where I am so... I guess I'm following you?" I shrugged. "I mean, why not."
"He accepted! Yes! The first step was a success!" She exclaimed, as if she had a thought without realizing she also spoke it loud.
"Lady Himiko? Servant of Heaven?" A soldier approached. "Forgive the interruption, but it would be best to keep moving and leave this area. Yamatai's border is not far from here, and the wounded need both rest and a cover from the rain."
"Aah! You're right! I'm sorry Chen-sama, but can we resume our conversation another time? Don't worry, Yamatai is a wonderful country. You will love it! No, you will definitely love it!"
...I'm starting to get the terrible feeling I'm in a trashy light novel.
====
Okay so fair note of warning if you ever find yourself in this odd scenario: you're still living in real time and apparently no one's heard of rain cover (I know it's not viable for what might actually be a goddamn samurai troop but come on) so you might end up like me and spend the next three hours walking in the goddamn Rain.
So maybe it might have been dramatic when I first arrived, or something, I couldn't exactly watch myself 'descend from heaven' but it's been so goddamn long since I started walking that it should've at least cleared up by now. I was in Zipang, wherever the hell that was (probably Japan), not the UK.
Still, with nothing else to do and apparently not receiving a divine iPhone for music, the best I could do for entertainment was talk to Himiko.
That might not have been the best idea.
"Ah! Chen-sama wants to resume our talk? I wished for it to happen soon, but I didn't think it would be so soon!" She seemed to be in a bit of panic. "Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. You can do it Himiko! I believe in you!" After finishing to cheer herself Himiko gave me a radiant smile. "What would you like to talk about Chen-sama? Ah, maybe you would like to hear what a great country Yamatai is, and why you should settle there?!"
"You are... very enthusiastic about me." I replied, a little unnerved. "And can you stop calling me -sama? Because while the whole respecting thing is fine, I'm fine if you just casually call me Chen."
Besides the fact that I don't do this whole honorific thing.
"So bold! I-I don't think my heart is ready for this!" She blushed. "T-Then... would it be okay if I call you Onii-san? We seem to be the same age, and I always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling..."
"You know what?" I sighed, putting a hand on my forehead. "Just go ahead. ...Wait how old are you?"
She told me and it turns out she was around my age. "Same here. But my birthday was eight months ago, so that probably makes me older. I think."
She seemed pleased at my words. "So, what would you like to ask me?"
"Er, uh, nothing much." What to do... "I literally know like, nothing about where we are. Names like Yamai and Zipang are completely unfamiliar to me."
"Yamatai. It's Yamatai." She gently corrected me. "Uhm, I suppose that, since you came from the heavens, it is unreasonable to expect you know everything. Zipang is the name of this country. It was unified in the past, but due to some things happening it is now split into three city-states: Yamatai, Kyoto and Edo."
"Okay so those last two names I recognize and- Oh." My eyes widened as something clicked in my head. "This is Sengoku Jidai. Probably."
"Age of Warring States? Is that how people from the heavens call this world? It fits, I suppose." She perked up. "As you guessed, not just Zipang but the whole world is at war right now. Battles are taking place everywhere, and there's no end in sight. But! That's when my grand plan for world conquest comes into play!"
"World Conquest..." Okay so it's Sengoku Jidai v.World War, what the fuck. "And that plan is?"
I swear if she says something like "Hit them till they die." I'm... Well I don't know what I'm going to do but it'll be something.
"Eh eh! Be in awe of my strategic genius!" Her grin turned very bright. "In order to bring order to this world we need a strong leader to unify it. A supreme commander to bring an end to all those wars. Yes..." She put a hand over her chest. "Someone like me! Someone with the power of divination that runs in the family! Someone loved by all of Yamatai! Someone who oozes with charisma! There is none but I who will bring an end to those turbulent times! And even if there were, they are to be ignored completely!"
She then actually stopped and, standing on the tip of her heels, thrust a fist in the air. "Vote Himiko of Yamatai, everyone of the world! Himiko of Yamatai, ladies and gentlemen!"
The soldiers around the two of us made a face as if they have heard the same thing many times, and while it was still endearing it was also getting old.
"...Was there an actual plan in there?" I asked one of the soldiers next to us. "I don't think there was."
"Lady Himiko has her heart in the right place, but she isn't very skilled as a commander. In truth, she's downright incompetent." One of them replied like he was talking about the weather. Himiko jerked as if stabbed through the heart. "Case in point, we were returning to Yamatai after being defeated once again by Oda Nobunaga of Edo when the bandits ambushed us. That was our first victory in a while."
"T-This is just a minor setback!" Himiko protested.
"That's what you said the last seven times, Lady Himiko."
"Uwah... I want to cry..."
"I mean to be fair, that's Oda Nobunaga." I retorted, trying to remember history I learned like, two weeks ago. "Totally over the top at times but someone who tends to get the job done. Until betrayal shows up but still, gets the job done."
"How come you know about that gorilla woman but not me? D-Don't tell, she's famous even among the people of heaven?! Not fair! That's not fair! I'm, like, 200% cuter! So why is she famous and I'm not?! Damn iiiiiit!!" Himiko was truly crying now. Or maybe it was the rain.
What a terrible day for rain.
...Wait what was that about Gorilla Women?
====
Notes:
Neko: Uh...
Alex: You will have your Genki Girl and you will like it.
Now, before anyone comments on this story, remember: ANY AND ALL SPOILERS THAT AREN'T REVEALED IN-STORY YET MUST GO IN SPOILER BOXES. Neko has absolutely zero knowledge of the world he's in, and I intend to keep it that way. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Not that I expect many to know the source material (it's the PS3 version, btw). In that case, I hope it will be an exciting read for all who doesn't but are still interested.
====
Chapter 1: Thunderstruck
====
I woke up in the rain, which was funny considering when I went to bed last night I was pretty sure I had a roof over my head.
And didn't have a bunch of dirty men in ragged clothes hold bows up to me, staring at me with what I could only assume was a shocked look on their faces. I can't tell, you can barely see their faces through the grime and mud.
Seriously go take a bath or at least dump water on yourself.
With a slight groan I raised my right hand to my head only to realize that I was holding a crystal blue sword, perfectly showing my armored form in the reflection.
"...What." I said flatly as I shook my head around, snapping myself out of the 'Just Woken Up Haze' and back into reality, or what I think is reality...
My eyes immediately snapped to my free hand. Let's see... One, two, three, four, five, yep I was awake.
"What the actual hell?" I mumbled as the world seemed to remind me of a couple of facts.
One, it was storming. Two, I was in armour with a sword while also having no idea how I got them, or here in general. And three... I wasn't alone.
"...Who's there?" A voice, a guy I think, said from behind me. Turning my head a bit I came face to face to... a bunch of Japanese Samurai? Uh, am I missing something? I'm probably missing something because seriously, what the hell?
"Wait... He came from the heavens?" Another of them exclaimed, with what I can only describe as awe worming its way up his face. Or what I could see of it. His helmet got in the way of most of it but he just radiated 'Slackjawed Sucker' even though he was like, totally wrong last time I checked.
Unless of course a God would come and prove me wrong any second now. Really? No takers? I have a sword and could use a little... practice.
"The heavens..." This time it's a girl. A miko to be precise, if my knowledge of anime was being correct and I wasn't just appropriating an entire culture. Or something, is that how you use that word? Appropriating? Fuck me I'll just roll with it. "A Servant of... Heaven?"
"...Am I." I replied back, taking her in a bit more. The first thing I noticed, besides the weird blue gems all over her red and white and probably shrine outfit was that she was carrying a stick with golden things and... no wait, that really is the best way to describe it. What the hell do you even do with that? "You think so?"
"Yes... Yes Lady Himiko!"
"Truly, a Servant of Heaven!"
"Oh... The heavens have sided with us! Our flag bears victory!" Miss Fancy Stick Lady exclaimed. "Push those bandits back, and show them what the Himiko Army is made of!"
"Okay so that's a yes then." I nodded. Uh, right well, what did they want me to do? Oh yeah, Bandit Attack or something. Wait how do I go about that?
The answer hit me. It was blindingly obvious and I can't believe I didn't think of this immediately.
Hire a Samurai.
"Uh okay, Charge." I declared, pointing my sword at what are presumably bandits and not just angry poor people. I had no idea what the actual fuck was going on but fuck it, why not. I'll figure this all out later.
"You heard him! The Servant of Heaven will protect us!" The girl shouted. "This is our chance! Fight back everyone! Let's destroy those bandits!"
Aw crap I was actually going to have to jump in there and I had no idea how to fight with a sword. A small amount of fight training yes, guess I'll just have to approximate boxing with sword fighting.
The bandits' reaction was slow, as if they didn't expected their target to fight back at all. Or maybe it was the whole 'Servant of Heaven' bit, that would throw anyone off. Only when my hired goo- I mean, the Samurai Army charge with a war cry did they finally react, the stunned archers hurrying to the rear of their group while their place was taken by men wielding cheap-looking spears, pitchforks and... farming sickles. Great job guys. A few of them also wielded katana, something they most likely scavenged from a battlefield if the rust wasn't-
Hah! Holy shit some of them are even broken! What are they gonna do, shank us in the middle of the battlefield? Wait I take that back don't listen to me keep doing what you're doing.
To say the next few minutes were chaos would be the understatement of the goddamn century. Not knowing what the hell I was doing and mostly on the fast track to getting killed, I ran in with the shrine maiden army and went with what was clearly the best plan ever: swing my sword at anyone in front of me.
"Curse you!" One of the bandits yell as he fell in a pool of blood. I didn't have any time to process that before I had to slip to the side as a spear was aimed where I was just standing. My hands moved before I even realized what I was doing and soon another body fell to the floor with a scream.
Oh...
Okay so not the best plan. Oh good lord his organs are spilling out- NO TIME TO PROCESS THAT FUCKING SHANKERS!
====
It was only when their numbers were reduced to a quarter of their initial group that the bandits finally took the hint things were not going in their favor and began to rout, their formation breaking apart as everyone ran away by themselves. Most sought refuge in the forest, while a few others took the road in the opposite direction from where they came from.
"Phew...! I think we're good for now. I thought we might not make it..." The girl then addressed me, looking a bit embarrassed. Or was it shyness? I couldn't be assed to tell. "Um... I don't know your name, Servant of Heaven, but thank you for rescuing us!"
...I looked at the scene of battle once again, a carnage of corpses lying on the floor while the feeling of death suffocated the air. It was a sight I never thought I'd see in my life, being a first world person and all. Yet here I was, bloody sword in hand, slightly injured, and having just killed more people than I ever thought I would.
And strangely, it didn't feel real. More like the tragedies you hear on the news or in history, events that happened but you'll never know the full terror and sadness of what actually went down.
"...You don't need to thank me." I sighed, shaking my head. "I didn't do anything, you managed to do this by yourselves."
"No, we would have surely lost, or worse, if it wasn't for you!" She shakes her head. "You are most definitely a Servant of Heaven! You descended from the sky and saved us. I'll never forget that brilliant light..."
"Brilliant light?" I mumbled. "I uh, I... Don't remember that."
Okay no seriously how did I get here? Did some god just stumble across my sleeping form and thought "Hey, you know what would be funny?" before dumping me here? Because if so... that God can get fucked.
"Okay so- but no, seriously, where am I?" I asked the miko.
"What? You don't remember?" She made a shocked face indicating I probably fucked up. "Those bandits were like 'Ah ah! I have you now my pretty!'. Then they shot their arrows at us and I was like 'Oh no! I'm going to die! Someone save me!'. But before the arrows hit there was a great flash of light from the heavens, and when I opened my eyes all the arrows missed and you were standing in front of me with your beautiful sword drawn, as if saying 'Begone foul cretins! You shall not pass!', and it was so heroic and amazing!"
She said all of that without pausing even once holy shit don't you need to like, breath?
"That... Is not what I remember at all but uh, thanks for the recap." How the hell do you even follow up to that? "I meant like, where am I and who are you people?"
"Oh, my apologies. Allow me to introduce myself." She bowed. "I am Himiko, Queen of Yamatai - a part of Zipang. I don't know your name: could you be so kind as to tell me what it might be?"
Well she went formal super quick. Now let's see name name name... Should I just go with my screen name?
No wait that's stupid. Think think think...
"You can call me, uh Chen..." FUCK I NEED A LAST NAME- "Miyafuji."
Fuck me, at least I didn't go with Takamachi. I guess I was now a mixture between Touhou and Strike Witches. Goddammit I haven't even seen Strike Witches!
"Ah, what a wonderful name." No it's not. "Chen-sama, I will never forget this debt. I owe you my life and those of my soldiers. I wish for you to heal your wounds in my country. Let me know if there is anything at all I can do for you."
"Well, I have no idea where I am so... I guess I'm following you?" I shrugged. "I mean, why not."
"He accepted! Yes! The first step was a success!" She exclaimed, as if she had a thought without realizing she also spoke it loud.
"Lady Himiko? Servant of Heaven?" A soldier approached. "Forgive the interruption, but it would be best to keep moving and leave this area. Yamatai's border is not far from here, and the wounded need both rest and a cover from the rain."
"Aah! You're right! I'm sorry Chen-sama, but can we resume our conversation another time? Don't worry, Yamatai is a wonderful country. You will love it! No, you will definitely love it!"
...I'm starting to get the terrible feeling I'm in a trashy light novel.
====
Okay so fair note of warning if you ever find yourself in this odd scenario: you're still living in real time and apparently no one's heard of rain cover (I know it's not viable for what might actually be a goddamn samurai troop but come on) so you might end up like me and spend the next three hours walking in the goddamn Rain.
So maybe it might have been dramatic when I first arrived, or something, I couldn't exactly watch myself 'descend from heaven' but it's been so goddamn long since I started walking that it should've at least cleared up by now. I was in Zipang, wherever the hell that was (probably Japan), not the UK.
Still, with nothing else to do and apparently not receiving a divine iPhone for music, the best I could do for entertainment was talk to Himiko.
That might not have been the best idea.
"Ah! Chen-sama wants to resume our talk? I wished for it to happen soon, but I didn't think it would be so soon!" She seemed to be in a bit of panic. "Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. You can do it Himiko! I believe in you!" After finishing to cheer herself Himiko gave me a radiant smile. "What would you like to talk about Chen-sama? Ah, maybe you would like to hear what a great country Yamatai is, and why you should settle there?!"
"You are... very enthusiastic about me." I replied, a little unnerved. "And can you stop calling me -sama? Because while the whole respecting thing is fine, I'm fine if you just casually call me Chen."
Besides the fact that I don't do this whole honorific thing.
"So bold! I-I don't think my heart is ready for this!" She blushed. "T-Then... would it be okay if I call you Onii-san? We seem to be the same age, and I always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling..."
"You know what?" I sighed, putting a hand on my forehead. "Just go ahead. ...Wait how old are you?"
She told me and it turns out she was around my age. "Same here. But my birthday was eight months ago, so that probably makes me older. I think."
She seemed pleased at my words. "So, what would you like to ask me?"
"Er, uh, nothing much." What to do... "I literally know like, nothing about where we are. Names like Yamai and Zipang are completely unfamiliar to me."
"Yamatai. It's Yamatai." She gently corrected me. "Uhm, I suppose that, since you came from the heavens, it is unreasonable to expect you know everything. Zipang is the name of this country. It was unified in the past, but due to some things happening it is now split into three city-states: Yamatai, Kyoto and Edo."
"Okay so those last two names I recognize and- Oh." My eyes widened as something clicked in my head. "This is Sengoku Jidai. Probably."
"Age of Warring States? Is that how people from the heavens call this world? It fits, I suppose." She perked up. "As you guessed, not just Zipang but the whole world is at war right now. Battles are taking place everywhere, and there's no end in sight. But! That's when my grand plan for world conquest comes into play!"
"World Conquest..." Okay so it's Sengoku Jidai v.World War, what the fuck. "And that plan is?"
I swear if she says something like "Hit them till they die." I'm... Well I don't know what I'm going to do but it'll be something.
"Eh eh! Be in awe of my strategic genius!" Her grin turned very bright. "In order to bring order to this world we need a strong leader to unify it. A supreme commander to bring an end to all those wars. Yes..." She put a hand over her chest. "Someone like me! Someone with the power of divination that runs in the family! Someone loved by all of Yamatai! Someone who oozes with charisma! There is none but I who will bring an end to those turbulent times! And even if there were, they are to be ignored completely!"
She then actually stopped and, standing on the tip of her heels, thrust a fist in the air. "Vote Himiko of Yamatai, everyone of the world! Himiko of Yamatai, ladies and gentlemen!"
The soldiers around the two of us made a face as if they have heard the same thing many times, and while it was still endearing it was also getting old.
"...Was there an actual plan in there?" I asked one of the soldiers next to us. "I don't think there was."
"Lady Himiko has her heart in the right place, but she isn't very skilled as a commander. In truth, she's downright incompetent." One of them replied like he was talking about the weather. Himiko jerked as if stabbed through the heart. "Case in point, we were returning to Yamatai after being defeated once again by Oda Nobunaga of Edo when the bandits ambushed us. That was our first victory in a while."
"T-This is just a minor setback!" Himiko protested.
"That's what you said the last seven times, Lady Himiko."
"Uwah... I want to cry..."
"I mean to be fair, that's Oda Nobunaga." I retorted, trying to remember history I learned like, two weeks ago. "Totally over the top at times but someone who tends to get the job done. Until betrayal shows up but still, gets the job done."
"How come you know about that gorilla woman but not me? D-Don't tell, she's famous even among the people of heaven?! Not fair! That's not fair! I'm, like, 200% cuter! So why is she famous and I'm not?! Damn iiiiiit!!" Himiko was truly crying now. Or maybe it was the rain.
What a terrible day for rain.
...Wait what was that about Gorilla Women?
====
Notes:
Neko: Uh...
Alex: You will have your Genki Girl and you will like it.
Last edited:
NekoNekoBoy
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I have no response.
What is going onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
What is going onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
TimelordLucario
Professional Lurker
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This is amazing.
Mizu
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were chaos
mostly on the fast track to getting
divine iPhone for
why is she famous and
*immediate flashback to Monster Girl Encyclopedia*
Although there's no monstergirls as of yet, so probably a different setting.
Anyway, this looks intriguing so far. I know nothing of the setting - much like Daze - but being tossed right into a war-torn country with the locals under the impression you're a divine being has quite a lot of plot potential. Provided you don't choke and stuff up somehow, but seeing as Daze isn't lying dead in a ditch due to a sudden case of sword-in-gut, he might actually end up surviving.
Tactics are important for winning wars, though, and... somehow I'm doubtful Daze is much better than Himiko, considering his age. Anyone who doesn't have great interest in military history or works in the military on the strategic level themselves would probs suck there though, so I don't hold it against him.
NekoNekoBoy
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Look at the title, that's all you need to know about my level of tactical skill.
Yeah I'm kind of a "Go with my gut" kind of guy.
taovkool
No more words to give
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So, Oda Nobunaga and Himiko.
I'm gonna take a wild guess that a bunch of other famous historical figures like Ushiwakamaru, Kenshin Uesugi or Musashi are here. Probably along with some King Arthur expy or Lu Bu from China as one of those pesky foreigners. This seems like one of those Fate series ripoff.
I'm gonna take a wild guess that a bunch of other famous historical figures like Ushiwakamaru, Kenshin Uesugi or Musashi are here. Probably along with some King Arthur expy or Lu Bu from China as one of those pesky foreigners. This seems like one of those Fate series ripoff.
NekoNekoBoy
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At best all I know is that the world is at war and this series apparently takes more liberties then Type-Moon.
meganeshounen
*tips glasses*
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Well, at least our heroic catboy MC was granted some amount of sword skill before landing there.
Having no martial skills would've bad...
*flashbacks to the opening of Oda Nobuna no Yabou*
Having no martial skills would've bad...
*flashbacks to the opening of Oda Nobuna no Yabou*
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Chapter 2: Bowling For Soup
Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
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Chapter 2: Bowling For Soup
====
Hilariously considering the situation, when I first got my glimpse of Yamatai it wasn't in some bright sunlight, actually it was dark and the clouds blocked even the moon from shining upon the capital city. No, my first impression of Yamatai was pretty simple.
It was... Kind of dull? I mean, I get that I couldn't see most of it due to the fact that there was barely any light but all the buildings were wooden structures in some semblance of organization. It compared nothing to the modern cities I've seen, the shit load of monuments in Washington D.C., the cramped streets of New York, or even Tokyo itself.
So I guess it wasn't any surprise that when they showed me my room I just crashed on the bed and went back to sleep from all this crazy stuff. Unfortunately even the lull of sleep couldn't keep me hazed for long and soon it was morning, and as I opened my eyes I was starkly reminded that yesterday apparently had happened and yes, I had just become either a mass murderer (Though now I could barely remember the slaughter) or some stupid light novel protagonist.
Probably a mix of both. Be honest with yourself me, is there really a difference?
"First impressions are the most important." Suddenly I heard Himiko's voice from the other side of the door. "He should be waking soon, so I'll go in first and greet him..."
"But, Lady Himiko..." Another, older woman said. "You shouldn't bite off more than you can chew..."
"I'm fine! I can handle a tray by myself. If I can win over his stomach, it's as good as our victory. And beside, you were the ones who said that men appreciate women who take care of their needs. We can't let the Servant of Heaven get away. I'll make a good impression on him and steer matters to our favor!"
I felt a sudden sense of dread come through me as I looked around the traditional japanese room they had given me, trying to see if there was another exit I could sneak out of before my stomach and probably Himiko's feelings come hurling out. Stupid Gag reflex...
...Well, fuck me.
"Ah, umm... Ahem. Excuse me." The door opened and Himiko stepped in, holding a tray filled with Japanese-looking food and moving very slowly. When she saw me she smiled brightly. "Good morning Onii-san! Did you sleep well? You must be famished. Would you like breakfast?"
"Already?" I asked, trying to hide my growing nervousness. "I uh, woke up just a moment ago!"
"That's right! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! If you eat good food you're sure to start the day with a good mood. And as they say, the first step is the more important. That means you'll fail at life unless you eat tasty things!"
Smiling like she just said something very wise Himiko, still slowly, set the tray next to my futon.
Rice, Strawberries (What the hell?), Salmon, Miso Soup... I'm fairly certain I could only get the first one on that list down my throat. How the hell am I going to get out of thi- Oh. Oh!
"Ah, sorry but I don't know how to use chopsticks." My asian ancestors are ashamed! Sorry but it's just easier to stab something with a fork! "We use something else where I'm from."
Contrary to my expectations Himiko's smile turned even sharper. "That's not a problem at all! Rather, it's perfect!" Sitting with her legs under her thighs in typical Japanese fashion she took the chopsticks and picked up a good amount of rice before bringing it close to my mouth. "Say aaah~"
And then the rice fell on my lap.
...Okay I should've seen what she would do but uh, it's starting to get kind of awkward in here as silence consumes us both, the rice having mastered the skill at mood breaking to my immense gratitude.
"Well, um, Rice is probably hard to keep ahold of? With you know all the grains?" My stupid mouth comforted as I scooted away from the frozen expression on Himiko's face. "And I, don't... really feel comfortable with someone feeding me all of a sudden?"
Even I could get the hint on what she felt about me if she did something like that. Wait that makes me sound dense, uh...
I glanced at the older women still standing at the door, 'help me' beaming straight from my eyes as she quickly tiptoed away from the room.
Oh no.
"Uwaaah! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" Himiko bowed, her head narrowly missing knocking over the tray. Realizing her almost-mistake she lifted her head and took a deep breath to calm herself. "To even forgive my clumsiness... You're so kind. Are all servants of heavens as kind as you, Onii-san?"
"Uh, I don't know." I answered honestly. "Really don't."
Really, I do have an answer if someone asked about heaven but I really don't want to see what happens when I say it.
Himiko began to mutter something under her breath, too low for me to hear, before asking with some hesitation. "Uhm, Onii-san! I'd like to have a talk with you. Do you have time?"
I sort of just stared blankly at Himiko before sighing. "I don't even know the time. So uh, sure?"
I just said those words when suddenly the distance between me and Himiko halved. Also, in her hands were a piece of paper and brush I was sure weren't there a moment ago.
"Onii-san! Please apply for residence here on Yamatai! We'll make sure everything is perfect! Our country is a small, dedicated team of experts but we welcome those with no experience! We're like a big family, and our country is going to expand rapidly in the coming months!" She explained like a seasoned salesman.
"...Are you offering me citizenship or a job offer?" I let out, trying my best not to laugh out loud. "You imply the former but you make it sound way more like the latter."
"It's the same thing! And if you act now you'll get three meals, plus snacks! We'll even thrown in a free hedge trimmer! In this wonderful country, you're rewarded the more effort you put in! You're sure to like it here!"
She literally thrusted the piece of paper in my face and the brush in my hand. "So, So! What are you waiting for? Just sign here. That's it, that's all you need to do..."
Oi oi! Why are you looking at me like that?! I didn't even know that kind of look was humanly possible so down girl down!
And what would I do with a hedge trimmer!?
"I think it's about time I stop you." Someone, an older female by the mature voice, said before stepping inside the room and lifting up Himiko by the neck of her robes like a cat.
Golden armor adorned her figure and she'd probably look a lot nicer if she didn't have a fiery frown on her face with the eyes to match. Still, she radiated an aura of unrelenting force which would probably cause a lesser man to piss his pants in fear and while I wasn't a lesser man (barely, I could at least control my bladder), she managed to make my hair stand on end.
Of course what I was focused on was much more noticeable: WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS THAT NATURAL PURPLE HAIR?!
"W-Who is it? Don't just grab me like a cat!"
"Calm down or you'll-" Her grip slipped and Himiko fell on her butt. "-fall. Guess it's too late for that."
"Ow, my behind... Unnh..."
"Looks like your plan to win over the Servant of Heaven didn't work, Himiko. The handmaids were laughing."
"Ughhh!" Don't tell me that!" Himiko began to thump her tiny fists against the woman's back.
"Ah, what a nice massage." She said without a ounce of sarcasm, her frown changing into a small smile.
"Are you saying I'm weak!? I was able to do a pushup recently, you know!"
"Pfft." I couldn't help it, something escaped out of my mouth. "Just one push up?"
"It's not like she's that weak, just that lazy." The woman replied, much to Himiko's chagrin. Then she looked at me, her expression neutral but not hostile. "It looks like you have some questions on your mind, Servant of Heaven. Feel free to voice them."
"Not really, just wondering who you are." I shrugged, "I'm not really confused on much to be honest. Or at least, so far there's nothing to be confused about."
"My apologies, I forgot. My name is Yamato Takeru. I used to be called Zipang's strongest warrior, but now I've retired to Yamatai."
Yamato Yamato Yamato... For some reason that named sounded familiar but my spotty knowledge of Sengoku Jidai didn't really help. Er, if this really is that period than maybe someone from Rance?
Suddenly a certain image of a black haired archer appeared in my head before I pushed it away. Nah, if I were to compare her to Rance characters she looked way more like that chick you got at the beginning of the game. A bit too similar really, but fuck me if I could remember her name.
Anyways brain, this is Yamato. Piss her off and she'll most likely rip out your spine and shove it down your throat.
"You barely touched your food." Yamato noted. "Well, thanks to a certain someone it's to be expected. Would you like to eat in peace? Or maybe the food is not to your liking?"
"Ah, well to be truthfully honest, looking at this plate I'm sure the only thing I could eat is the rice. My stomach is a bit weird see, and most foods tend to make my stomach churn and I generally can't swallow it." I admitted. "And well, I don't know how to use chopsticks as we used something else where I'm from."
"Ah, you must mean a fork. Pretty sure I saw a merchant selling them, it's not big deal." Yamato picked up Himiko again, ignoring the younger girl's protests with ease. "We will go and buy some. Just tell the handmaids which food you can safely eat, they'll prepare it for when we return."
"Wait Takeru! Wait! My grand plan-" The door closed with a sharp 'thud'.
Huh.
Surprisingly nice girl.
====
Hilariously considering the situation, when I first got my glimpse of Yamatai it wasn't in some bright sunlight, actually it was dark and the clouds blocked even the moon from shining upon the capital city. No, my first impression of Yamatai was pretty simple.
It was... Kind of dull? I mean, I get that I couldn't see most of it due to the fact that there was barely any light but all the buildings were wooden structures in some semblance of organization. It compared nothing to the modern cities I've seen, the shit load of monuments in Washington D.C., the cramped streets of New York, or even Tokyo itself.
So I guess it wasn't any surprise that when they showed me my room I just crashed on the bed and went back to sleep from all this crazy stuff. Unfortunately even the lull of sleep couldn't keep me hazed for long and soon it was morning, and as I opened my eyes I was starkly reminded that yesterday apparently had happened and yes, I had just become either a mass murderer (Though now I could barely remember the slaughter) or some stupid light novel protagonist.
Probably a mix of both. Be honest with yourself me, is there really a difference?
"First impressions are the most important." Suddenly I heard Himiko's voice from the other side of the door. "He should be waking soon, so I'll go in first and greet him..."
"But, Lady Himiko..." Another, older woman said. "You shouldn't bite off more than you can chew..."
"I'm fine! I can handle a tray by myself. If I can win over his stomach, it's as good as our victory. And beside, you were the ones who said that men appreciate women who take care of their needs. We can't let the Servant of Heaven get away. I'll make a good impression on him and steer matters to our favor!"
I felt a sudden sense of dread come through me as I looked around the traditional japanese room they had given me, trying to see if there was another exit I could sneak out of before my stomach and probably Himiko's feelings come hurling out. Stupid Gag reflex...
...Well, fuck me.
"Ah, umm... Ahem. Excuse me." The door opened and Himiko stepped in, holding a tray filled with Japanese-looking food and moving very slowly. When she saw me she smiled brightly. "Good morning Onii-san! Did you sleep well? You must be famished. Would you like breakfast?"
"Already?" I asked, trying to hide my growing nervousness. "I uh, woke up just a moment ago!"
"That's right! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! If you eat good food you're sure to start the day with a good mood. And as they say, the first step is the more important. That means you'll fail at life unless you eat tasty things!"
Smiling like she just said something very wise Himiko, still slowly, set the tray next to my futon.
Rice, Strawberries (What the hell?), Salmon, Miso Soup... I'm fairly certain I could only get the first one on that list down my throat. How the hell am I going to get out of thi- Oh. Oh!
"Ah, sorry but I don't know how to use chopsticks." My asian ancestors are ashamed! Sorry but it's just easier to stab something with a fork! "We use something else where I'm from."
Contrary to my expectations Himiko's smile turned even sharper. "That's not a problem at all! Rather, it's perfect!" Sitting with her legs under her thighs in typical Japanese fashion she took the chopsticks and picked up a good amount of rice before bringing it close to my mouth. "Say aaah~"
And then the rice fell on my lap.
...Okay I should've seen what she would do but uh, it's starting to get kind of awkward in here as silence consumes us both, the rice having mastered the skill at mood breaking to my immense gratitude.
"Well, um, Rice is probably hard to keep ahold of? With you know all the grains?" My stupid mouth comforted as I scooted away from the frozen expression on Himiko's face. "And I, don't... really feel comfortable with someone feeding me all of a sudden?"
Even I could get the hint on what she felt about me if she did something like that. Wait that makes me sound dense, uh...
I glanced at the older women still standing at the door, 'help me' beaming straight from my eyes as she quickly tiptoed away from the room.
Oh no.
"Uwaaah! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" Himiko bowed, her head narrowly missing knocking over the tray. Realizing her almost-mistake she lifted her head and took a deep breath to calm herself. "To even forgive my clumsiness... You're so kind. Are all servants of heavens as kind as you, Onii-san?"
"Uh, I don't know." I answered honestly. "Really don't."
Really, I do have an answer if someone asked about heaven but I really don't want to see what happens when I say it.
Himiko began to mutter something under her breath, too low for me to hear, before asking with some hesitation. "Uhm, Onii-san! I'd like to have a talk with you. Do you have time?"
I sort of just stared blankly at Himiko before sighing. "I don't even know the time. So uh, sure?"
I just said those words when suddenly the distance between me and Himiko halved. Also, in her hands were a piece of paper and brush I was sure weren't there a moment ago.
"Onii-san! Please apply for residence here on Yamatai! We'll make sure everything is perfect! Our country is a small, dedicated team of experts but we welcome those with no experience! We're like a big family, and our country is going to expand rapidly in the coming months!" She explained like a seasoned salesman.
"...Are you offering me citizenship or a job offer?" I let out, trying my best not to laugh out loud. "You imply the former but you make it sound way more like the latter."
"It's the same thing! And if you act now you'll get three meals, plus snacks! We'll even thrown in a free hedge trimmer! In this wonderful country, you're rewarded the more effort you put in! You're sure to like it here!"
She literally thrusted the piece of paper in my face and the brush in my hand. "So, So! What are you waiting for? Just sign here. That's it, that's all you need to do..."
Oi oi! Why are you looking at me like that?! I didn't even know that kind of look was humanly possible so down girl down!
And what would I do with a hedge trimmer!?
"I think it's about time I stop you." Someone, an older female by the mature voice, said before stepping inside the room and lifting up Himiko by the neck of her robes like a cat.
Golden armor adorned her figure and she'd probably look a lot nicer if she didn't have a fiery frown on her face with the eyes to match. Still, she radiated an aura of unrelenting force which would probably cause a lesser man to piss his pants in fear and while I wasn't a lesser man (barely, I could at least control my bladder), she managed to make my hair stand on end.
Of course what I was focused on was much more noticeable: WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS THAT NATURAL PURPLE HAIR?!
"W-Who is it? Don't just grab me like a cat!"
"Calm down or you'll-" Her grip slipped and Himiko fell on her butt. "-fall. Guess it's too late for that."
"Ow, my behind... Unnh..."
"Looks like your plan to win over the Servant of Heaven didn't work, Himiko. The handmaids were laughing."
"Ughhh!" Don't tell me that!" Himiko began to thump her tiny fists against the woman's back.
"Ah, what a nice massage." She said without a ounce of sarcasm, her frown changing into a small smile.
"Are you saying I'm weak!? I was able to do a pushup recently, you know!"
"Pfft." I couldn't help it, something escaped out of my mouth. "Just one push up?"
"It's not like she's that weak, just that lazy." The woman replied, much to Himiko's chagrin. Then she looked at me, her expression neutral but not hostile. "It looks like you have some questions on your mind, Servant of Heaven. Feel free to voice them."
"Not really, just wondering who you are." I shrugged, "I'm not really confused on much to be honest. Or at least, so far there's nothing to be confused about."
"My apologies, I forgot. My name is Yamato Takeru. I used to be called Zipang's strongest warrior, but now I've retired to Yamatai."
Yamato Yamato Yamato... For some reason that named sounded familiar but my spotty knowledge of Sengoku Jidai didn't really help. Er, if this really is that period than maybe someone from Rance?
Suddenly a certain image of a black haired archer appeared in my head before I pushed it away. Nah, if I were to compare her to Rance characters she looked way more like that chick you got at the beginning of the game. A bit too similar really, but fuck me if I could remember her name.
Anyways brain, this is Yamato. Piss her off and she'll most likely rip out your spine and shove it down your throat.
"You barely touched your food." Yamato noted. "Well, thanks to a certain someone it's to be expected. Would you like to eat in peace? Or maybe the food is not to your liking?"
"Ah, well to be truthfully honest, looking at this plate I'm sure the only thing I could eat is the rice. My stomach is a bit weird see, and most foods tend to make my stomach churn and I generally can't swallow it." I admitted. "And well, I don't know how to use chopsticks as we used something else where I'm from."
"Ah, you must mean a fork. Pretty sure I saw a merchant selling them, it's not big deal." Yamato picked up Himiko again, ignoring the younger girl's protests with ease. "We will go and buy some. Just tell the handmaids which food you can safely eat, they'll prepare it for when we return."
"Wait Takeru! Wait! My grand plan-" The door closed with a sharp 'thud'.
Huh.
Surprisingly nice girl.
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NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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Ranmaru! That's her name! Just figured it out.
meganeshounen
*tips glasses*
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Remember, now.
If you kill 1 person, you're a murderer.
If you kill 1000 people, you're a hero... or a mass murderer.
Do note that the above only applies during wartime.
For some reason, those lines give me both feelings of nostalgia and dread.
Better get used to it, you're not in Kansas anymore.
Considering the universe you got dropped in...
That's forgivable, since Yamato Takeru's still part of Japanese history, but not of Sengoku Jidai.
Mizu
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just easier to stab
not a problem at
control my bladder
The 'If' doesn't need to have a capital I here.
This seems to cement it. Forks... I don't think those were a thing outside of Europe till the 18th cent. or something.
*checks*
Well, Wikipedia informs me they were invented by Bronze-Age Chinese and spread via the Romans across much of the globe a good while later, and seeing as China is close enough for easy-ish sea travel to/from Japan, at a guess it's been imported here from the China analogue. Or, more likely, it's just thrown in because it's used often in reality today, and the mediea creators didn't really put much thought into the logistics of if forks should be in that region at that time.
meganeshounen
*tips glasses*
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The MC meeting Himiko might have tipped you off already... well, I think her place in the history books is a little sketchy, so that's also fine.
Chapter 3: Through The Fire And Flames
Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
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Chapter 3: Through The Fire And Flames
====
Yamatai as it turns out, is... Well it's an experience. Like I said earlier, and this is probably due to me being back before computers had been invented and steam sales had sucked all our lives away, Yamatai was for me a fairly unglamorous city that looked more like something a culture recreation group would put on than an actual culture.
Than again, that may or may not be due to the fact that all the buildings were still damp from rain and the ground was still muddy. I miss concrete.
Still, as I was guided by Yamato and Himiko throughout the city, I can safely say that I enjoyed my exploration of this "Thriving Capital". It was mostly because of those two girls though, without them I'd probably end up just eventually walking around in circles as it slowly dawned on me that there was no internet and all the consequences therefore of.
Seriously you actually have to physically hand deliver or tell people messages without communication being instantaneous or over long distances!
...Joking I'm joking! Sheesh put the pitchforks down ya bunch of old timers!
I did learn a lot about the surrounding area though, like how our good friend (not) Nobunaga is a confirmed woman, people already know who I am, Himiko actually has shoddy future telling (I think), the market place is a bit odd but I can't put my finger on what exactly is off, and apparently there's going to be a feast later which means I'm going to have to face the chefs again. Ouch.
I think I heard something about tax reforms from Himiko but my eyes automatically glazed over once the words economy popped up so…
...Ahem, anyways. Soon the exploration was an end and I somehow found myself next to what was most definitely a training field for martial arts combat or something. People were training on it, I think, so that counts for something right?
"Hm. They're training today, as always." Yamato remarked with approval upon hearing the sound of weapons clashing against each other.
"Onii-san, you have learned sword-fighting, haven't you? The way you wielded your sword when you saved me struck awe in everyone that saw it."
Um, what the hell was she talking about?
"I... Actually no, I haven't learned sword fighting." I denied, before grabbing the crystal blue sword on my waist. "First time I used one actually. I just kind of... slashed at the fleshy bits and dodged whatever was coming at me."
Not that I did it perfectly, I swear I'm going to kill every last person who legit uses a broken sword to shank people. Wait crap I can't joke like that anymore.
...Fuck those guys.
"Eeeh? But you cut down those bandits, one after another, with skill that could only belong to a legendary warrior." Himiko protested. I was starting to suspect she was less believing that herself and more trying to build me a reputation.
Or maybe she understood even less about sword-fighting than me.
"Himiko, stop pressuring him." Yamato scolded her. "But now I'm curious." With that said she started walking away, beckoning us to follow her.
"Where are you going? We still haven't seen all of the capital..." Himiko called out to her.
"To the training grounds. I want to take a look at his ability."
"Oh god." I groaned before speeding up until I was by her side as we walked inside the training field. "You realize I was being 100% truthful when I said I had no sword training? The only ability you'll see is me flailing my arms."
"Honesty is a quality on itself. And if you really went through a battle with only those wounds, then you must have some talent." Was her simple reply.
When those that were already training noticed us they started to whisper. "That's the guy in the rumors..."
"He looks weaker than I thought. Is Himiko's story really true?"
I just turned back and gave the guy who said that last line a gesture that could either range from "Wow rude" to "Are you actually trusting Himiko?".
I mean, I am certainly no paragon of fitness, being your average skinny tall boy that you could probably find anywhere else but come on. From the little I've seen of the girl… she's Himiko.
"Just think of them as pumpkins or something." Yamato remarked. "Anyway, let's see what you've got. Take a stance. Anything will do."
I sighed, moving my legs until they were an equal distance apart with the right leg a little back before crouching down and- Is Yamato going to punch me in the face? I don't think so but... I lowered my chin anyways and grabbed the hilt of my sword with my right hand.
Hey wait she wasn't even looking at me! If you're going to kick my ass then at least stop acting like you just figured out how the muscles in your fingers work!
"Huh. They're still not fully recovered..." She muttered.
"Takeru, you aren't going to fight, aren't you...?" Himiko asked with a worried voice.
"It's just training. Don't get upset." The older woman reassured her. "All right, let's do this. I want to know your skills. For today, let's exchange just one strike. Don't hold back."
"I don't think I could if I want to get out of this not black and blue."
And then Yamato's glare turned dead serious. "...Come, flame that devours."
You ever saw something that should be completely impossible? Something that defies all common sense as it seems like reality has just gone and decided to take a lunch break before procrastinating for the rest of the day and ending up in a restroom the next morning barfing out a hangover? Well that's exactly how I felt as fire literally came out of nowhere and started to surround her.
"Henceforth, I am the God-Slaying Blade..." She slowly drew her sword from the sheath, the flames gathering around the blade. "Here I come! Show me you can handle my ultimate technique! Tsumugari no Tachi!"
"...That is the chunniest shit!" I couldn't help but blurt out as her flaming sword of ass-whooping started to swing towards me. Suddenly by instinct my body pulled out the sword from my waist and suddenly a loud clang rang throughout the training ground as I found myself parrying the blade. "And my instincts save the day!"
With most of my body strength I diverted the purple haired warrior's sword to the side before a loud explosion rippled through my body as a fissure appeared in the ground where the blade struck. "...Did you want a sparring partner or did you just want to beat me up? I mean I suspected the latter from the beginning but still, it's the principle of the matter!"
"Oh? Impressive." Yamato's voiced contained nothing but honest approval.
"Amazing Onii-san!" Himiko gushed. "Even if Takeru isn't at full strength, it's amazing you were able to match her sword!"
"You're rough at the edges, but you've got potential. It'll be worth training you." Yamato said.
"Did you hear that? Takeru rarely acknowledges others' ability like this. I knew you were special!"
"I don't think I did anything speciaaaaaa-" I groaned out before my legs gave out from under me and I stabbed my sword in the ground to keep me up. My breath came out in pants as I stared back up at the two girls. "Wow, fuck, my energy is almost gone holy hell."
"A-Are you okay!?" Himiko panicked. "I'll go call a doctor right away, so stay put!"
"...Pff. Ahaha, ahahaha, ahahahahahaha!" By contrast Yamato started laughing. "You're a funny boy! You showed off those incredible skills, and now you're weak at the knees! Funny indeed! I like you!"
"Oh fuck off, incredible skills? You don't need incredible skills to do that." I groaned back, "And what kind of ultimate technique was that anyways?! You set your sword on fire and then swung it at me! That's just melee combat 101 with an extra step!"
"I beg to differ: it takes a lot of skills to parry my sword, even as weakened as it was, without breaking your arms. Ah, but you may have a point about my ultimate technique being something basic." She looked at her sword with fondness. "True, the full version took out entire regiments in the past, but it's still just me swinging my sword with all my strength. Ahahaha! Yes, when you put it like that it is funny!"
How the hell does it even work anyways... Oh, an idea! "Have you considered putting in less strength but more slashes? It'd probably spread the damage into more areas than just 'directly in front of me'."
"You may be onto something here. I'll keep that in mind."
"It's true what Lady Himiko was saying! He really is the Servant of Heaven!" One soldier exclaimed, making me aware the exchange has been witnessed by everyone present.
"I believed in her from the beginning! I saw him come down!" Another soldier added.
"Why you! Always full of lies! You didn't believe her at first! Everyone! Let's give a warm welcome to the Servant of Heaven!"
"Hey what are you doing?!" I exclaimed as a bunch of soldiers came running over to me, "AH! PUT ME DOWN GUYS PUT ME DOWN! WAIT NO DON'T THROW ME U- WHOAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"
"Don't be a crybaby. They just want to welcome you, that's all." Yamato gently chided me, her voice barely heard over the crowd.
"YAMATO HELP ME GET THEM OFF ME OR SO HELP ME GOD THE NEXT THING THAT'S GOING TO BE SET ON FIRE IS YOU!!!"
====
Notes:
NNB: 'Ultimate Technique' eh?
Alex: She tried, okay?
====
Yamatai as it turns out, is... Well it's an experience. Like I said earlier, and this is probably due to me being back before computers had been invented and steam sales had sucked all our lives away, Yamatai was for me a fairly unglamorous city that looked more like something a culture recreation group would put on than an actual culture.
Than again, that may or may not be due to the fact that all the buildings were still damp from rain and the ground was still muddy. I miss concrete.
Still, as I was guided by Yamato and Himiko throughout the city, I can safely say that I enjoyed my exploration of this "Thriving Capital". It was mostly because of those two girls though, without them I'd probably end up just eventually walking around in circles as it slowly dawned on me that there was no internet and all the consequences therefore of.
Seriously you actually have to physically hand deliver or tell people messages without communication being instantaneous or over long distances!
...Joking I'm joking! Sheesh put the pitchforks down ya bunch of old timers!
I did learn a lot about the surrounding area though, like how our good friend (not) Nobunaga is a confirmed woman, people already know who I am, Himiko actually has shoddy future telling (I think), the market place is a bit odd but I can't put my finger on what exactly is off, and apparently there's going to be a feast later which means I'm going to have to face the chefs again. Ouch.
I think I heard something about tax reforms from Himiko but my eyes automatically glazed over once the words economy popped up so…
...Ahem, anyways. Soon the exploration was an end and I somehow found myself next to what was most definitely a training field for martial arts combat or something. People were training on it, I think, so that counts for something right?
"Hm. They're training today, as always." Yamato remarked with approval upon hearing the sound of weapons clashing against each other.
"Onii-san, you have learned sword-fighting, haven't you? The way you wielded your sword when you saved me struck awe in everyone that saw it."
Um, what the hell was she talking about?
"I... Actually no, I haven't learned sword fighting." I denied, before grabbing the crystal blue sword on my waist. "First time I used one actually. I just kind of... slashed at the fleshy bits and dodged whatever was coming at me."
Not that I did it perfectly, I swear I'm going to kill every last person who legit uses a broken sword to shank people. Wait crap I can't joke like that anymore.
...Fuck those guys.
"Eeeh? But you cut down those bandits, one after another, with skill that could only belong to a legendary warrior." Himiko protested. I was starting to suspect she was less believing that herself and more trying to build me a reputation.
Or maybe she understood even less about sword-fighting than me.
"Himiko, stop pressuring him." Yamato scolded her. "But now I'm curious." With that said she started walking away, beckoning us to follow her.
"Where are you going? We still haven't seen all of the capital..." Himiko called out to her.
"To the training grounds. I want to take a look at his ability."
"Oh god." I groaned before speeding up until I was by her side as we walked inside the training field. "You realize I was being 100% truthful when I said I had no sword training? The only ability you'll see is me flailing my arms."
"Honesty is a quality on itself. And if you really went through a battle with only those wounds, then you must have some talent." Was her simple reply.
When those that were already training noticed us they started to whisper. "That's the guy in the rumors..."
"He looks weaker than I thought. Is Himiko's story really true?"
I just turned back and gave the guy who said that last line a gesture that could either range from "Wow rude" to "Are you actually trusting Himiko?".
I mean, I am certainly no paragon of fitness, being your average skinny tall boy that you could probably find anywhere else but come on. From the little I've seen of the girl… she's Himiko.
"Just think of them as pumpkins or something." Yamato remarked. "Anyway, let's see what you've got. Take a stance. Anything will do."
I sighed, moving my legs until they were an equal distance apart with the right leg a little back before crouching down and- Is Yamato going to punch me in the face? I don't think so but... I lowered my chin anyways and grabbed the hilt of my sword with my right hand.
Hey wait she wasn't even looking at me! If you're going to kick my ass then at least stop acting like you just figured out how the muscles in your fingers work!
"Huh. They're still not fully recovered..." She muttered.
"Takeru, you aren't going to fight, aren't you...?" Himiko asked with a worried voice.
"It's just training. Don't get upset." The older woman reassured her. "All right, let's do this. I want to know your skills. For today, let's exchange just one strike. Don't hold back."
"I don't think I could if I want to get out of this not black and blue."
And then Yamato's glare turned dead serious. "...Come, flame that devours."
You ever saw something that should be completely impossible? Something that defies all common sense as it seems like reality has just gone and decided to take a lunch break before procrastinating for the rest of the day and ending up in a restroom the next morning barfing out a hangover? Well that's exactly how I felt as fire literally came out of nowhere and started to surround her.
"Henceforth, I am the God-Slaying Blade..." She slowly drew her sword from the sheath, the flames gathering around the blade. "Here I come! Show me you can handle my ultimate technique! Tsumugari no Tachi!"
"...That is the chunniest shit!" I couldn't help but blurt out as her flaming sword of ass-whooping started to swing towards me. Suddenly by instinct my body pulled out the sword from my waist and suddenly a loud clang rang throughout the training ground as I found myself parrying the blade. "And my instincts save the day!"
With most of my body strength I diverted the purple haired warrior's sword to the side before a loud explosion rippled through my body as a fissure appeared in the ground where the blade struck. "...Did you want a sparring partner or did you just want to beat me up? I mean I suspected the latter from the beginning but still, it's the principle of the matter!"
"Oh? Impressive." Yamato's voiced contained nothing but honest approval.
"Amazing Onii-san!" Himiko gushed. "Even if Takeru isn't at full strength, it's amazing you were able to match her sword!"
"You're rough at the edges, but you've got potential. It'll be worth training you." Yamato said.
"Did you hear that? Takeru rarely acknowledges others' ability like this. I knew you were special!"
"I don't think I did anything speciaaaaaa-" I groaned out before my legs gave out from under me and I stabbed my sword in the ground to keep me up. My breath came out in pants as I stared back up at the two girls. "Wow, fuck, my energy is almost gone holy hell."
"A-Are you okay!?" Himiko panicked. "I'll go call a doctor right away, so stay put!"
"...Pff. Ahaha, ahahaha, ahahahahahaha!" By contrast Yamato started laughing. "You're a funny boy! You showed off those incredible skills, and now you're weak at the knees! Funny indeed! I like you!"
"Oh fuck off, incredible skills? You don't need incredible skills to do that." I groaned back, "And what kind of ultimate technique was that anyways?! You set your sword on fire and then swung it at me! That's just melee combat 101 with an extra step!"
"I beg to differ: it takes a lot of skills to parry my sword, even as weakened as it was, without breaking your arms. Ah, but you may have a point about my ultimate technique being something basic." She looked at her sword with fondness. "True, the full version took out entire regiments in the past, but it's still just me swinging my sword with all my strength. Ahahaha! Yes, when you put it like that it is funny!"
How the hell does it even work anyways... Oh, an idea! "Have you considered putting in less strength but more slashes? It'd probably spread the damage into more areas than just 'directly in front of me'."
"You may be onto something here. I'll keep that in mind."
"It's true what Lady Himiko was saying! He really is the Servant of Heaven!" One soldier exclaimed, making me aware the exchange has been witnessed by everyone present.
"I believed in her from the beginning! I saw him come down!" Another soldier added.
"Why you! Always full of lies! You didn't believe her at first! Everyone! Let's give a warm welcome to the Servant of Heaven!"
"Hey what are you doing?!" I exclaimed as a bunch of soldiers came running over to me, "AH! PUT ME DOWN GUYS PUT ME DOWN! WAIT NO DON'T THROW ME U- WHOAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"
"Don't be a crybaby. They just want to welcome you, that's all." Yamato gently chided me, her voice barely heard over the crowd.
"YAMATO HELP ME GET THEM OFF ME OR SO HELP ME GOD THE NEXT THING THAT'S GOING TO BE SET ON FIRE IS YOU!!!"
====
Notes:
NNB: 'Ultimate Technique' eh?
Alex: She tried, okay?
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Mizu
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Well, magic is confirmed a thing now - and possibly divination, if that comment about Himiko was true. On the other hand, I suspect you've become a part of the mook army, if even the wise, experienced mentor figure has a kinda-lame 'ultime technique' like that.
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NekoNekoBoy
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"I am the greatest warrior in all of Japan."
"All you do is set your sword on fire!"
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meganeshounen
*tips glasses*
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For some reason, my first impulse was to suggest modernizing civilian infrastructure.
... yeah, I've been reading too many trashy reincarnation webnovels lately.
It'll be worth it!
Only cute girls.
Though, at Sufficient amounts, having a fuckhuge sword of flame and the knowledge on how to use it would make someone really strong.
... yeah, I've been reading too many trashy reincarnation webnovels lately.
Oshi- lemme get that Mulan movie clip again!
It'll be worth it!
There's no god here.
Only cute girls.
A god really exists though, and it's their fault that world is in that state...
"In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king."
Though, at Sufficient amounts, having a fuckhuge sword of flame and the knowledge on how to use it would make someone really strong.
Chapter 4: What is Love?
Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
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Chapter 4: What is Love?
====
After escaping the dread soldier pile and vowing to set Yamato on fire, the three of us finally managed to leave by virtue of doctors and having to 'prepare' for the feast later on tonight, to which I'm sure they're more than happy to attend. Luckily I got the okay from the doctors and a nap later I found that I could move around again without my legs turning into jelly.
My body is just really sore instead. Talk about a trade off.
"They don't mean any harm. Please forgive them." Himiko asked me.
"Ah no it's fine." I waved her off, sitting down on the ground with a deep breath. "I was mostly joking, except for the thing about setting Yamato on fire. She totally has that coming to her some day."
"P-Please don't! I know she can be kind of mean, but on fire she would totally be even worse!" She hastily begged with a bow. "You know, there were people who hadn't seen your skills, so they were half in doubt. But after seeing that match, they all believed in you immediately. I'm a bit proud myself. But also... a little mad."
"I'm joking about the Yamato thing." I wasn't, she nearly set me on fire. "But... Right, yeah. My 'skill'. You know, I wasn't kidding when I said the first time I held a sword was when I met you."
"That's what make you so amazing Onii-san! I knew it from the beginning, but everyone else is far too late to notice."
"To be truthfully honest though, I don't think it's something about me who is special." Lines of script ran in my head before another sigh escaped my lips, "You mind if I go a bit weird for a few minutes? I have this whole speech that I made and I kinda want to use it because it'd make me sound cool in theory."
"Certainly. Please do so, I'll listen to anything you have to say." Himiko fixed her sitting position and stared at me like a model student ready for class.
"Right, I'd like to ask you something first." I took a deep breath. "Do you believe in Gravity?"
Internally I was cheering at managing to say that line with a straight face, now to keep it up for the rest of it.
"Gravity?" She blinked. "What's that?"
"Its most common definition is, suffice to say, the weight of the world. The pressure that makes us fall down when we jump. It's a bit more complicated than that but I'm referring to a sort of obscure meaning, one not commonly held but used nonetheless." I tapped the side of my head. "In my use of Gravity, I am talking about it in its relation to Fate, the force that pulls us together and shows us the way to our destiny. The will of the heavens."
I motioned to myself with both hands, "You call me the Servant of Heaven but in truth, I have not seen the divine with my own eyes. I do not have any divine ancestry, though you can make a claim for it, and I have never been anyone special before, just a normal guy."
"And yet," I paused before pulling up my finger and pointing it at her, "Here I am, having appeared in front of you in a bolt of lightning. Suddenly, I have armor and a sword made of crystal, the speed and strength to stand toe to toe for a few seconds with the 'Strongest Warrior', and even this language you and I are speaking? Well, I'm pretty sure I've never spoken it a day in my life if the rest of the signs match up."
"Do you know what this means?!" I asked her, forcing as much passion in my voice as I could while throwing up my finger to the sky. "While I was certainly not anything special before I came here, the heavens must have surely bestowed upon me blessings and sent me here! So while I can not say that I am someone who has seen Heaven with my own eyes, is it not wrong to assume that I have been chosen to be it's Servant?!"
And as quick as a flash I pulled out my sword and stabbed it into the ground with all might. "Then, if that is the case then so be it! I shall become the man who walks the path of Heaven!"
I panted as the energy from my speech left my body before taking a deep breath and blinking. "Oh wow yeah that did not go where I expected it to. I mean, I had like the barebones but that came out way more elegant than I thought it would be. I feel kind of pretentious."
Before my breathing settled Himiko was already on her feet, clapping enthusiastically with stars in her eyes. "Amazing! Such a deep, passionate speech! You were like a great leader! No, you are a great leader! It's surely as you said, the heavens must have chosen you to be their champion! And surely, you appearing before me wasn't a coincidence either. Because..." She muttered something under her breath before facing me with a serious expression. "You see, I actually had a vision of the future."
"If your next words are going to be I saw you in my heaven sent vision… Well I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm going to do something."
"Oh no, it's not you I saw." Her face was grim. "Terrible calamities falling upon the world, destroying it without a trace. That's what I saw: I couldn't make out the details, but I am certain the world will, in the future, face a grave threat. Before that happens, I need to unite this world as one. That's why I need your help, Chen-oniisan. And if what you said is indeed true then, maybe... maybe the heavens answered my prayers..."
"...You know Himiko, I don't doubt you. Really, someone in my situation literally can't. But uh, well." I struggled to put this into words. "Not to make light of Revelations coming true or something worse like Ragnarok but uh, that is... Kind of the most cliched lines I have ever heard? Do you even have cliches here? Sorry the whole thing when I'm not in 'Path of Heaven' mode which I'm now dubbing and am going to feel super embarrassed about later sounds like something out of a fairy tale."
"Just kidding~!" Himiko suddenly said with her eyes closed and her tongue out. But despite her words just now, I had the feeling she just wanted to lighten the mood. "Anyway, tell me if there's anything you need. I owe you my life, so I'll do everything in my power to grant your wishes!"
"Alrighty then. Now that the topic is officially dead, let's address the elephant in the room." And oh boy was this going to be worse. Taking a deep breath, I felt butterflies start appearing in my stomach. "S-So uh, can you promise me that you won't run away and that we can at least remain friends after this?"
"Of course! Nothing you say can upset me!" She replied with a smile.
"I'll hold you to that." I mumbled before I shakily put a hand on her shoulder, gathered all my confidence, before looking her straight in the eyes and speaking words which would probably change my life forever. "You... You like me don't you? Not like like but like, romantically."
There. I said it. The one thing I probably shouldn't have but I can't just leave her there, floundering about!
An awkward moment of silence passed between us. The atmosphere thick as a knife as Himiko stared at me, a smile frozen on her face.
One minute passes. Two minutes. Then. uh, probably three before I started shaking her. "Hey, Himiko?"
No response.
"Himiko?!"
After shaking her a bit more furiously with nothing happening, it finally hit me as to what just occurred.
"Holy shit." I breathed in awe. "She actually fainted."
And then it also hit me that I had to lug around a passed-out queen for the next few minutes before eventually having to deal with this conversation again.
Just fucking great.
====
Today double post!
====
After escaping the dread soldier pile and vowing to set Yamato on fire, the three of us finally managed to leave by virtue of doctors and having to 'prepare' for the feast later on tonight, to which I'm sure they're more than happy to attend. Luckily I got the okay from the doctors and a nap later I found that I could move around again without my legs turning into jelly.
My body is just really sore instead. Talk about a trade off.
"They don't mean any harm. Please forgive them." Himiko asked me.
"Ah no it's fine." I waved her off, sitting down on the ground with a deep breath. "I was mostly joking, except for the thing about setting Yamato on fire. She totally has that coming to her some day."
"P-Please don't! I know she can be kind of mean, but on fire she would totally be even worse!" She hastily begged with a bow. "You know, there were people who hadn't seen your skills, so they were half in doubt. But after seeing that match, they all believed in you immediately. I'm a bit proud myself. But also... a little mad."
"I'm joking about the Yamato thing." I wasn't, she nearly set me on fire. "But... Right, yeah. My 'skill'. You know, I wasn't kidding when I said the first time I held a sword was when I met you."
"That's what make you so amazing Onii-san! I knew it from the beginning, but everyone else is far too late to notice."
"To be truthfully honest though, I don't think it's something about me who is special." Lines of script ran in my head before another sigh escaped my lips, "You mind if I go a bit weird for a few minutes? I have this whole speech that I made and I kinda want to use it because it'd make me sound cool in theory."
"Certainly. Please do so, I'll listen to anything you have to say." Himiko fixed her sitting position and stared at me like a model student ready for class.
"Right, I'd like to ask you something first." I took a deep breath. "Do you believe in Gravity?"
Internally I was cheering at managing to say that line with a straight face, now to keep it up for the rest of it.
"Gravity?" She blinked. "What's that?"
"Its most common definition is, suffice to say, the weight of the world. The pressure that makes us fall down when we jump. It's a bit more complicated than that but I'm referring to a sort of obscure meaning, one not commonly held but used nonetheless." I tapped the side of my head. "In my use of Gravity, I am talking about it in its relation to Fate, the force that pulls us together and shows us the way to our destiny. The will of the heavens."
I motioned to myself with both hands, "You call me the Servant of Heaven but in truth, I have not seen the divine with my own eyes. I do not have any divine ancestry, though you can make a claim for it, and I have never been anyone special before, just a normal guy."
"And yet," I paused before pulling up my finger and pointing it at her, "Here I am, having appeared in front of you in a bolt of lightning. Suddenly, I have armor and a sword made of crystal, the speed and strength to stand toe to toe for a few seconds with the 'Strongest Warrior', and even this language you and I are speaking? Well, I'm pretty sure I've never spoken it a day in my life if the rest of the signs match up."
"Do you know what this means?!" I asked her, forcing as much passion in my voice as I could while throwing up my finger to the sky. "While I was certainly not anything special before I came here, the heavens must have surely bestowed upon me blessings and sent me here! So while I can not say that I am someone who has seen Heaven with my own eyes, is it not wrong to assume that I have been chosen to be it's Servant?!"
And as quick as a flash I pulled out my sword and stabbed it into the ground with all might. "Then, if that is the case then so be it! I shall become the man who walks the path of Heaven!"
I panted as the energy from my speech left my body before taking a deep breath and blinking. "Oh wow yeah that did not go where I expected it to. I mean, I had like the barebones but that came out way more elegant than I thought it would be. I feel kind of pretentious."
Before my breathing settled Himiko was already on her feet, clapping enthusiastically with stars in her eyes. "Amazing! Such a deep, passionate speech! You were like a great leader! No, you are a great leader! It's surely as you said, the heavens must have chosen you to be their champion! And surely, you appearing before me wasn't a coincidence either. Because..." She muttered something under her breath before facing me with a serious expression. "You see, I actually had a vision of the future."
"If your next words are going to be I saw you in my heaven sent vision… Well I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm going to do something."
"Oh no, it's not you I saw." Her face was grim. "Terrible calamities falling upon the world, destroying it without a trace. That's what I saw: I couldn't make out the details, but I am certain the world will, in the future, face a grave threat. Before that happens, I need to unite this world as one. That's why I need your help, Chen-oniisan. And if what you said is indeed true then, maybe... maybe the heavens answered my prayers..."
"...You know Himiko, I don't doubt you. Really, someone in my situation literally can't. But uh, well." I struggled to put this into words. "Not to make light of Revelations coming true or something worse like Ragnarok but uh, that is... Kind of the most cliched lines I have ever heard? Do you even have cliches here? Sorry the whole thing when I'm not in 'Path of Heaven' mode which I'm now dubbing and am going to feel super embarrassed about later sounds like something out of a fairy tale."
"Just kidding~!" Himiko suddenly said with her eyes closed and her tongue out. But despite her words just now, I had the feeling she just wanted to lighten the mood. "Anyway, tell me if there's anything you need. I owe you my life, so I'll do everything in my power to grant your wishes!"
"Alrighty then. Now that the topic is officially dead, let's address the elephant in the room." And oh boy was this going to be worse. Taking a deep breath, I felt butterflies start appearing in my stomach. "S-So uh, can you promise me that you won't run away and that we can at least remain friends after this?"
"Of course! Nothing you say can upset me!" She replied with a smile.
"I'll hold you to that." I mumbled before I shakily put a hand on her shoulder, gathered all my confidence, before looking her straight in the eyes and speaking words which would probably change my life forever. "You... You like me don't you? Not like like but like, romantically."
There. I said it. The one thing I probably shouldn't have but I can't just leave her there, floundering about!
An awkward moment of silence passed between us. The atmosphere thick as a knife as Himiko stared at me, a smile frozen on her face.
One minute passes. Two minutes. Then. uh, probably three before I started shaking her. "Hey, Himiko?"
No response.
"Himiko?!"
After shaking her a bit more furiously with nothing happening, it finally hit me as to what just occurred.
"Holy shit." I breathed in awe. "She actually fainted."
And then it also hit me that I had to lug around a passed-out queen for the next few minutes before eventually having to deal with this conversation again.
Just fucking great.
====
Today double post!
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NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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This chapter is kind of embarrassing with how chunni I got but come on, both me and our honorary catboy MC both have wanted to say lines like those in such situations.
And if you say you haven't as well you are a lying liar who lies.
And if you say you haven't as well you are a lying liar who lies.
Mizu
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looking her straight in the eyes and speaking words which would probably change
Hardly, you've got a few between chapters. Or did you mean double-update today?
Anyway, daze is confirmed chuuni - no surprise to those who've talked to him - and Himiko is confirmed to suffer from Anime-syndrome, where declarations of love are enough to send one into a shock so great they faint. Poor, poor girl.
taovkool
No more words to give
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...Sigh.
Standard anime girl rule Chen. Don't be blunt. Skirt around the issue until the girl somehow decided to bone you or knife you in the face. Being dead is preferable for a harem protagonis than making things awkward.
Standard anime girl rule Chen. Don't be blunt. Skirt around the issue until the girl somehow decided to bone you or knife you in the face. Being dead is preferable for a harem protagonis than making things awkward.
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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meganeshounen
*tips glasses*
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Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope...
I know right.
Fighting a skilled swordsman is bad enough, but a skilled swordsman ON FIRE?
Ahh... soon...
Was honestly expecting Chen to point to the sky... this works too.
On one hand, I understand the urge to cut through the bullshit and drama, and just say you like the other person.
On the other hand, I just can't ignore the sheer embarrassment of doing such a thing.
Void
Now With Even Less Time To Write.
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I know where that comes from.
edit: See 1:53-2:10
So far the SI is a wonderful straight man to the inane parts of the setting.
"Witness my ultimate technique!"
"You just set your sword on fire and swung it? Not very impressive."
Funny thing is that apparently in japan's actual IRL flirting culture you're almost never suppose to be direct.
Source. Alternate link if the first doesn't work.
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Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
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Yeah, double update. Sorry.
GorgonEyed
Five-Star Horror Ham
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It's only chuunibyou if you don't actually have secret powers. If you can back it up, it's good old wholesome Ham.
Pretty sure improbable sword skills count, and you waited to confirm their existence before delivering the speech, so you're in the clear.
NekoNekoBoy
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On one hand, I understand the urge to cut through the bullshit and drama, and just say you like the other person.
On the other hand, I just can't ignore the sheer embarrassment of doing such a thing.
It was more awkward then embarrasing really, and Chen was just feeling godawful letting the elephant in the room rampage around like a drunken idiot.
Right before that.
Chapter 5: Stairway to Heaven
Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2013
- Messages
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Chapter 5: Stairway to Heaven
====
It was a beautiful day outside.
The birds were singing, I was flying, and Yamato looked to be trying not to smirk as my body landed against the wall of the training field with a loud 'thud'.
"Your stance is unstable! Restore your form with every swing and prepare for the next attack immediately!"
"Yes ma'am." I groaned as I picked myself up and immediately shifted back into my boxing hybrid stance.
It had been two weeks since that time I talked with Himiko about that matter, and ever since then she seemed to be avoiding me slightly, working more on herpaper work queenly duties, which was fair. It's not that she held a grudge or anything, or even that she cares at all.
No. To my surprise, her mind actually erased any trace of the latter part of our conversation from her head. Yeah you heard me right, she doesn't even remember me bringing it up and it's all just subconscious.
I hadn't even tried to bring up the subject again anyways, it's like some sort of failsafe from the heavens in case I went off their shitty Isekai 'script' anyways isn't it? I mean, I don't suspect Himiko is a robot but really what the actual hell your mind can't just erase memories for no reason…
...Ahem right. So with Himiko avoiding me, I ended up hanging out (read: getting my ass beat) by the only other person available. That is of course being, Yamato.
It's been a mix between 'Fun' and 'ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!'.
"Everyone's wounds have healed, but now is the time we lie in wait! We must build up more strength! You are the keystones of our defense! Train hard, and become the foundation of Yamatai!" She told not only me, but everyone else that was training around us.
"You are especially fired up today." I asked, putting my sword back in ready position. "Something good happen?"
"...It's just a hunch." She paused briefly, looking to the side and into the distance. "Himiko want to see both of us after training. She said she 'saw' something: you probably don't know about it, but when her powers work it's usually about something important."
She shook her head before facing me again. "We'll address that later. We're not fully prepared, but our troops are on the path to recovery. Even I now can step on the battlefield, so there's no excuse to slack off."
"We've been doing this for like, two weeks. What do you mean slacking off?" I mumbled before shaking my head, "Guess we have to go another round then."
Grk, that sounded a bit more wrong than I intended.
I don't know if she noticed the innuendo, but she was more than happy to oblige me.
"Yamato Takeru! Here I come!" She kicked off the ground and shot at me, her sword coming up from her lower left.
"Why did you shout your name!" I exclaimed, shifting my upper to the right before using the accumulated force to take a swing at the purple haired warrior's exposed chest. "I guess my name is Yamato now then."
With an almost seamless movement the sword changed course upward and parried my blow. "I see your sense of humor is as sharp as ever." She grinned before trying to tear my sword from my hands with a disarm, twisting her wrist so that my sword was in an awkward position. "It's normal for warriors to shout on the battlefield, either to intimidate the opponent or give themselves courage."
"Does that mean I can just call you whatever I want for the sake of the battle?" Hm how to get out of this... "Because I warn you I can get filthy when I put my mind to it."
And then I twisted my upper body to the right again and used my free hand to jab her in the stomach.
Mexican Bodyshot. Always works (note: bot verified).
The blow connected, knocking the air out of her. But Yamato, being the experienced warrior she is (read: Old Lady), only seemed slightly put off balance. "Good move. Normally I would say 'go ahead' and use all the dirty tricks you can think of." She unlocked our blades and, at the same time, slammed the hilt of her sword on the arm I used to punch her. "But, as you're the Servant of Heaven, it would be appropriate for you to project a certain...decorum."
She took a step back before lashing out with a low kick to my right knee. "You know, propaganda. I don't write those things."
"It's not trying if you aren't cheating!" I quoted as my arms moved up to a boxing stance and bent down to block the blow. Ouch fucking hell... Okay back to swordsmen mode. "And generally speaking, there's no place for honor in warfare. Or at least back home there wasn't. You ever heard of guerrilla warfare?"
"Ah, a pragmatic mindset. It'll serve you well." Resting the flat of her sword on her free palm she gave a quick look around, as if confirming nobody was listening, before continuing. "Thing is, you should always strive to follow honor when possible. Someone who cannot gain the respect of his enemies will never gain the respect of his own subordinates."
"I mean, maybe? Ugh this is so weird..." I shook my head. "War has, uh, kind of changed back home. Guerilla Warfare is pretty much the standard and instead of facing each other head on we use projectile weaponry to hide around and shoot at each other and take the other guys out. Ya know, 'cause technology has advanced pretty far there. So while honor may be important here, and we aren't inhumane bastards by the way, pragmatism and practicality are pretty much the norm back home. Sorry if I'm touching some sort of clashing cultural values things."
Yamato tilted her head, as if pondering on my words. "I see. The place you came from sounds indeed different. That's to be expected I guess. I am not saying pragmatism and practicality don't have a use... just that they're not the only values out there." She snorted. "So why don't you try doing things the way we do here, and see which one you like best?"
"...Maybe." I sighed. "Right, I guess I'll try honor but if the things go and get tough don't be surprised if something... happened to the enemy. Oh wow that sounded a bit better in my head, you want to go see what Himiko wants?"
"Don't worry: you're still young, it's normal to have insecurities. Or speaking before fully thinking it out." She quipped, sheathing her sword. "Yes, I believe it's time."
====
"A shadow looms over the capital." Himiko began when the three of us are alone. "It went away before I was able to 'see' the outcome, but I believe bandits are coming. On a windy night, in number greater than ever before."
"...Okay be honest, how long did you practice that for?" I immediately blurted out. "But uh, more bandits... where are they even coming from?"
"Onii-san! I'm serious!" Himiko insisted. "I've been unable to use my powers until now, but I was able to 'see' for the first time in a very long time. Maybe it's because you're here."
"I doubt my presence has anything to do with it but who am I to judge bloodline divination?" I shrugged. "Seriously though, where are they even coming from? Like, does anyone here have any idea why there are so many bandits running around? Are they organized somewhere because this looks more to be a full siege and I doubt a group of like, three hundred people would have the confidence to try so it must be more. Are we sure the other countries aren't just paying them to attack us?"*
"Those are good questions." Yamato pointed out. "Can you see anything specific, like the situation or the enemy numbers?"
"I can't tell exactly. They easily outnumber our troops, thought. It was midnight. They're planning a surprise attack."
"Hmm... Even though our numbers may have dwindled, it's quite a feat for them to outnumber us... it won't take them long to invade the capital."
"Yes... But we have to resist them." Himiko replied, her words filled with determination. "We can't let anyone take Yamatai!"
"They're invading the capital right? Is it just the capital?" How the hell do you put this in words... "Since we know they're coming to Yamatai we can probably prepare defences along the way, slow them down or take them out with traps and such stuff before taking out the ones who make it through. Do we know when they're coming or if we have enough time to prepare?"
"I, I think we have a week, but no more." Himiko replied with some hesitation.
"Traps? That's possible, we just need to disguise them as normal defenses. Bandits aren't too bright, they will never suspect the extra traps are there only for them." Yamato mused. "Looks like there is no other way. I'll go out myself: this should make up for our lack of troops."
"What!?" Himiko was shocked. "But Takeru, you..."
"I'll be fine. I may be retired, but I won't lose to some bandits. We don't have the leisure to argue about this now."
"...Thank you, Takeru. But please, don't do anything reckless."
"I told you, I'll be fine. They're just bandits: numbers is all they have. They won't be any trouble as long as I am careful." Then she turned to face me. "Chen Miyafuji. Will you fight?"
"Takeru?!"
"Our troops aren't in the best condition. But if the Servant of Heaven is there to boost morale, they're more likely to turn this situation around." She explained. "However, that's up to you to decide. That's why I am asking you what you intend to do."
"Well..." I put a hand to my chin and thought about it for a moment. If I were to go out there, I might die. But if I didn't go out there, there's a chance that the country that had taken me in, if only for the past two weeks, might burn to the ground.
The image of the end of the first battle flashed through my mind, the dead corpses' bleeding out onto the ground ,and slowly I realized that those corpses could easily be Yamatai's.
If I went out there I might die, but if I didn't everyone else might.
"...I'm hesitant to go out there honestly." I admitted with a sigh. "But if I don't everyone else might, and yet it still doesn't exactly feel real to me. My mind can't comprehend the sheer amount of lives on the line, and I suspect it'll only hit me once I'm out on the battlefield but... My gut is telling me to go, so I'll fight. Remember what I told you Himiko?"
My fist hit the inside of my palm with all the courage I could dredge up from within me as I started to fake acting like the hero again. "I am the man who walks the path of Heaven! If the Heavens sent us this message, than who am I to deny Gravity?!"
"Er." I paused before sighing. "Should've probably come up with a line like that beforehand, ad-libbing on the spot is just not my thing... If I have to boost morale I'm probably going to use a different one."
...And then I realized Yamato was also in the room as my eyes slowly drifted towards hers. "Don't mention that to anyone. Please."
Her grin was positively devilish. "As you wish."
Oh fuck that girl.
"...I want Onii-san to act according to his own will." Himiko said, a bit more subdued. "Forcing him into an unavoidable situation is against my principles..."
"What are you talking about Himiko? Didn't you hear him just now? Those are the words of someone already committed to a course of action." Yamato nodded in approval, arms crossed. "It's decided then. We'll defeat the unruly lot who try to attack our capital. We'll show those bandits what the new Himiko Army is made of."
"Onii-san..." Himiko bowed very deeply. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"
===
NNB: The reasoning might be a little shaky, and Chen acknowledges that, but he's going to fake it until he makes it even if he has to feel silly ripping off media lines because he can't come up with his own. Sometime you just have to go with your gut on.
Alex: Here, have a contract.
NNB: ...Really? You're really going to make me say it?
Alex: Oh? Are you not up to it, Man Who Walks The Path of Heaven?
NNB: Fucking fine. I accept this Fate of my own free will and promise to take responsibility for my actions. Happy?
Alex: Very, 'cause now the real story starts.
====
It was a beautiful day outside.
The birds were singing, I was flying, and Yamato looked to be trying not to smirk as my body landed against the wall of the training field with a loud 'thud'.
"Your stance is unstable! Restore your form with every swing and prepare for the next attack immediately!"
"Yes ma'am." I groaned as I picked myself up and immediately shifted back into my boxing hybrid stance.
It had been two weeks since that time I talked with Himiko about that matter, and ever since then she seemed to be avoiding me slightly, working more on her
No. To my surprise, her mind actually erased any trace of the latter part of our conversation from her head. Yeah you heard me right, she doesn't even remember me bringing it up and it's all just subconscious.
I hadn't even tried to bring up the subject again anyways, it's like some sort of failsafe from the heavens in case I went off their shitty Isekai 'script' anyways isn't it? I mean, I don't suspect Himiko is a robot but really what the actual hell your mind can't just erase memories for no reason…
...Ahem right. So with Himiko avoiding me, I ended up hanging out (read: getting my ass beat) by the only other person available. That is of course being, Yamato.
It's been a mix between 'Fun' and 'ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!'.
"Everyone's wounds have healed, but now is the time we lie in wait! We must build up more strength! You are the keystones of our defense! Train hard, and become the foundation of Yamatai!" She told not only me, but everyone else that was training around us.
"You are especially fired up today." I asked, putting my sword back in ready position. "Something good happen?"
"...It's just a hunch." She paused briefly, looking to the side and into the distance. "Himiko want to see both of us after training. She said she 'saw' something: you probably don't know about it, but when her powers work it's usually about something important."
She shook her head before facing me again. "We'll address that later. We're not fully prepared, but our troops are on the path to recovery. Even I now can step on the battlefield, so there's no excuse to slack off."
"We've been doing this for like, two weeks. What do you mean slacking off?" I mumbled before shaking my head, "Guess we have to go another round then."
Grk, that sounded a bit more wrong than I intended.
I don't know if she noticed the innuendo, but she was more than happy to oblige me.
"Yamato Takeru! Here I come!" She kicked off the ground and shot at me, her sword coming up from her lower left.
"Why did you shout your name!" I exclaimed, shifting my upper to the right before using the accumulated force to take a swing at the purple haired warrior's exposed chest. "I guess my name is Yamato now then."
With an almost seamless movement the sword changed course upward and parried my blow. "I see your sense of humor is as sharp as ever." She grinned before trying to tear my sword from my hands with a disarm, twisting her wrist so that my sword was in an awkward position. "It's normal for warriors to shout on the battlefield, either to intimidate the opponent or give themselves courage."
"Does that mean I can just call you whatever I want for the sake of the battle?" Hm how to get out of this... "Because I warn you I can get filthy when I put my mind to it."
And then I twisted my upper body to the right again and used my free hand to jab her in the stomach.
Mexican Bodyshot. Always works (note: bot verified).
The blow connected, knocking the air out of her. But Yamato, being the experienced warrior she is (read: Old Lady), only seemed slightly put off balance. "Good move. Normally I would say 'go ahead' and use all the dirty tricks you can think of." She unlocked our blades and, at the same time, slammed the hilt of her sword on the arm I used to punch her. "But, as you're the Servant of Heaven, it would be appropriate for you to project a certain...decorum."
She took a step back before lashing out with a low kick to my right knee. "You know, propaganda. I don't write those things."
"It's not trying if you aren't cheating!" I quoted as my arms moved up to a boxing stance and bent down to block the blow. Ouch fucking hell... Okay back to swordsmen mode. "And generally speaking, there's no place for honor in warfare. Or at least back home there wasn't. You ever heard of guerrilla warfare?"
"Ah, a pragmatic mindset. It'll serve you well." Resting the flat of her sword on her free palm she gave a quick look around, as if confirming nobody was listening, before continuing. "Thing is, you should always strive to follow honor when possible. Someone who cannot gain the respect of his enemies will never gain the respect of his own subordinates."
"I mean, maybe? Ugh this is so weird..." I shook my head. "War has, uh, kind of changed back home. Guerilla Warfare is pretty much the standard and instead of facing each other head on we use projectile weaponry to hide around and shoot at each other and take the other guys out. Ya know, 'cause technology has advanced pretty far there. So while honor may be important here, and we aren't inhumane bastards by the way, pragmatism and practicality are pretty much the norm back home. Sorry if I'm touching some sort of clashing cultural values things."
Yamato tilted her head, as if pondering on my words. "I see. The place you came from sounds indeed different. That's to be expected I guess. I am not saying pragmatism and practicality don't have a use... just that they're not the only values out there." She snorted. "So why don't you try doing things the way we do here, and see which one you like best?"
"...Maybe." I sighed. "Right, I guess I'll try honor but if the things go and get tough don't be surprised if something... happened to the enemy. Oh wow that sounded a bit better in my head, you want to go see what Himiko wants?"
"Don't worry: you're still young, it's normal to have insecurities. Or speaking before fully thinking it out." She quipped, sheathing her sword. "Yes, I believe it's time."
====
"A shadow looms over the capital." Himiko began when the three of us are alone. "It went away before I was able to 'see' the outcome, but I believe bandits are coming. On a windy night, in number greater than ever before."
"...Okay be honest, how long did you practice that for?" I immediately blurted out. "But uh, more bandits... where are they even coming from?"
"Onii-san! I'm serious!" Himiko insisted. "I've been unable to use my powers until now, but I was able to 'see' for the first time in a very long time. Maybe it's because you're here."
"I doubt my presence has anything to do with it but who am I to judge bloodline divination?" I shrugged. "Seriously though, where are they even coming from? Like, does anyone here have any idea why there are so many bandits running around? Are they organized somewhere because this looks more to be a full siege and I doubt a group of like, three hundred people would have the confidence to try so it must be more. Are we sure the other countries aren't just paying them to attack us?"*
"Those are good questions." Yamato pointed out. "Can you see anything specific, like the situation or the enemy numbers?"
"I can't tell exactly. They easily outnumber our troops, thought. It was midnight. They're planning a surprise attack."
"Hmm... Even though our numbers may have dwindled, it's quite a feat for them to outnumber us... it won't take them long to invade the capital."
"Yes... But we have to resist them." Himiko replied, her words filled with determination. "We can't let anyone take Yamatai!"
"They're invading the capital right? Is it just the capital?" How the hell do you put this in words... "Since we know they're coming to Yamatai we can probably prepare defences along the way, slow them down or take them out with traps and such stuff before taking out the ones who make it through. Do we know when they're coming or if we have enough time to prepare?"
"I, I think we have a week, but no more." Himiko replied with some hesitation.
"Traps? That's possible, we just need to disguise them as normal defenses. Bandits aren't too bright, they will never suspect the extra traps are there only for them." Yamato mused. "Looks like there is no other way. I'll go out myself: this should make up for our lack of troops."
"What!?" Himiko was shocked. "But Takeru, you..."
"I'll be fine. I may be retired, but I won't lose to some bandits. We don't have the leisure to argue about this now."
"...Thank you, Takeru. But please, don't do anything reckless."
"I told you, I'll be fine. They're just bandits: numbers is all they have. They won't be any trouble as long as I am careful." Then she turned to face me. "Chen Miyafuji. Will you fight?"
"Takeru?!"
"Our troops aren't in the best condition. But if the Servant of Heaven is there to boost morale, they're more likely to turn this situation around." She explained. "However, that's up to you to decide. That's why I am asking you what you intend to do."
"Well..." I put a hand to my chin and thought about it for a moment. If I were to go out there, I might die. But if I didn't go out there, there's a chance that the country that had taken me in, if only for the past two weeks, might burn to the ground.
The image of the end of the first battle flashed through my mind, the dead corpses' bleeding out onto the ground ,and slowly I realized that those corpses could easily be Yamatai's.
If I went out there I might die, but if I didn't everyone else might.
"...I'm hesitant to go out there honestly." I admitted with a sigh. "But if I don't everyone else might, and yet it still doesn't exactly feel real to me. My mind can't comprehend the sheer amount of lives on the line, and I suspect it'll only hit me once I'm out on the battlefield but... My gut is telling me to go, so I'll fight. Remember what I told you Himiko?"
My fist hit the inside of my palm with all the courage I could dredge up from within me as I started to fake acting like the hero again. "I am the man who walks the path of Heaven! If the Heavens sent us this message, than who am I to deny Gravity?!"
"Er." I paused before sighing. "Should've probably come up with a line like that beforehand, ad-libbing on the spot is just not my thing... If I have to boost morale I'm probably going to use a different one."
...And then I realized Yamato was also in the room as my eyes slowly drifted towards hers. "Don't mention that to anyone. Please."
Her grin was positively devilish. "As you wish."
Oh fuck that girl.
"...I want Onii-san to act according to his own will." Himiko said, a bit more subdued. "Forcing him into an unavoidable situation is against my principles..."
"What are you talking about Himiko? Didn't you hear him just now? Those are the words of someone already committed to a course of action." Yamato nodded in approval, arms crossed. "It's decided then. We'll defeat the unruly lot who try to attack our capital. We'll show those bandits what the new Himiko Army is made of."
"Onii-san..." Himiko bowed very deeply. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"
===
NNB: The reasoning might be a little shaky, and Chen acknowledges that, but he's going to fake it until he makes it even if he has to feel silly ripping off media lines because he can't come up with his own. Sometime you just have to go with your gut on.
Alex: Here, have a contract.
NNB: ...Really? You're really going to make me say it?
Alex: Oh? Are you not up to it, Man Who Walks The Path of Heaven?
NNB: Fucking fine. I accept this Fate of my own free will and promise to take responsibility for my actions. Happy?
Alex: Very, 'cause now the real story starts.
Last edited:
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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Truth be told I'm getting the feeling that what could be a romcom is slowly turning into a more... Mature story?
I don't know, nothing has had the same tone since the confrontation last chapter.
I don't know, nothing has had the same tone since the confrontation last chapter.
taovkool
No more words to give
- Joined
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Gotta be honest, everytime I see those lines.... ugh. I cringed pretty hard, man.
Well, you can go all chuuni however you like. I mean, in these (alternate) day and age being chuuni is a good enough character bluff. Nobody cringe at the guy who made a gun pose with his finger, shouts "Super Giga Magnum!!" for everyone to hear, then shot out a bolt of blast of pure energy from his 'finger gun'.
...Doesn't make it any less painful to read though.