My Light Novel Isekai Story is Stressful As Expected (Eiyuu Senki Friend Insert ft. NekoNekoBoy)

[Alexander]

Chapter 12: We Will Rock You

====

So allow me to summarize the state of the world into one, very specific word: FUCKED.

All that hints about a world war currently going on is completely and totally true! And it's, as far as I know, absolute chaos. As far as I know that is, because it turns out you can't even have a city be part of, you know, a country. A territory is just a city, and a country's strength is measured by how many cities they control.

And you know what's the kicker?! Nobody knows why this war is happening in the first place. There wasn't a sort of 'Initial Event' it's just war.

On a more funnier note King (Queen really) Arthur and her merry... Probably girls. Women? Hang on I need to fix that...

Ahem, Queen Arthur and her welcoming women? No that makes them sound like sluts, uh... giggling girls?

Shut up. Point is, King Arthur (Female) and the Round Table (Probably Female) also are running around ruling Britannia.

Which is not part of the EU.

...I admit that got a chuckle out of me the first time I heard it.

But anyways, it was only a few days after Tama's introduction that Himiko and I were called for a meeting by Yoshi. Yamato and BenBen were strangely absent, but maybe they were just busy with training.

"It's good you're here." Yoshi began after everyone sit down at the table. "Tadataka has something to report."

"Yes sir!" The small woman began to take out one after the other reports and maps from the backpack and spread it on the table. "By Lady Yoshitsune's request I started looking into the source of Lady Nobunaga's muskets. Unfortunately I discovered that the merchants that sold them to her have left the country just around the time I took service here. Obviously this mean Lady Nobunaga cannot acquire more for the time being, but I also discovered she brought many of the latest models: not too many, since they're expensive, but enough to significantly strengthen her main force, the gunmen."

"Argh! We were doing so well too!" Himiko raged. "Ranged weapons are cheating! A man's got to play fair and square!"

"But Himiko-" I begin, looking at the rest of the room with a 'please don't kill me for this' look. "She doesn't have the balls to do such a thing."

"Exactly! She doesn't have the-eek! No! A lady mustn't say such crass things!" She blushed as I began to laugh in my spot of the room. "Oni-san! What are you making me say?!"

Yoshi sighed, already used to the by-play. "A good strategy can completely turn the tide of battle. Her strategy is pretty much brute force, though."

"So what we need is a way to get rid of her muskets huh..." I crossed my arms. "I wonder... they have to be keeping their gunpowder somewhere right?"

"Actually, right now the soldiers that will use those muskets are training with them in a location separated from the main army." Tama pointed to the map, her finger tapping over a small valley between Kyoto and Edo, before producing a more detailed map of that area. "If you want to attack, now it's the time."

"How we do that is going to be critical, though." Yoshi pointed out. "We could use brute force, but it's not advantageous to use up our resources like that. It could also end up in a draw."

Hm...

An idea had already formed in my mind, what if-

"I know!" Himiko raised a hand. "We'll wait for rain! Even the best guns will be rendered useless if soaking wet!"

"I... Don't think that's how muskets work." I interrupted. "I mean they might jam but at the same time... Yeah no I really don't think they'd be rendered useless in the rain. Plus we have no idea how long waiting for the rain could take. It could be somewhere between after I finish this sentence and the next month."

And then it started raining.

...Just kidding, it was still sunny.

Himiko wasn't ready to admit defeat. "Then, how about luring them in a forest or a mountain? We'll be sure to win if they can't use their guns!"

"I'm sure she's aware of that, and I don't think she'll be foolish enough to send troops out like that. We're up against Nobunaga, Himiko. It's not going to be simple." Yoshi explained.

The red-clad girl slapped a hand on the table. "Well, how about... I can't think of anything else... Ugh." She fell on her back and lied there, arms spread.

"Well..." I stared at Himiko. "I have a semblance of a plan. More like the barebones of one. Do we know the route their using to get to NobuNobu Nobu?"

Yoshi gave me an unamused look while Tama put little poles with flag around the possible routes. "Actually, I also have an idea. Let's hear your first."

"Right, sorry if it's just really simple but basically we put traps all along the route their moving with and have some troops surround them." I suggested. "Then we kill them all with the traps and the remaining survivors with the tropes surrounding the area. Than we go in and loot the corpses for their guns and supplies."

"Must you really make it sounds like what a bandit would do?" Yoshi sighed. She was doing that a lot recently. "Traps sound good, but with the 'surrounding' part we run again in the same problem: how to prevent them from using their guns before they are within the range of our weapons. My turn: look at this map."

She put the tip of her finger over the bigger map of the area, pointing to a mountain. "We'll attack from here." Her finger moved to the side, past a slope and into the pole with Nobunaga's symbol. "Like this."

"Listen well Himiko, this is how you rule a country." I nodded sagely. "Have other people do your work for you, it works almost every time."

And then I sighed, "Also I... What? Is there some sort of military thing I'm missing here? Didn't you just say brute force wasn't going to work? Uh, I'm not the only one totally confused on what Yoshi's plan is right?"

"This is not brute force, this is an ambush with a reasonable amount of risk from a direction they would never expect to be used as such." She calmly replied with a polite smile. "Moving into position without alerting them will require a good amount of hiking, so they will never consider someone going through all the trouble."

"Ah, see, one problem there." I interrupted. "The moment they see us we're dead. You didn't even address your own problem correctly, it'd take maybe five seconds at maximum for them to fill us with so much lead we'd practically be swiss cheese. And we don't even have to be close, they'd still have the long range advantage. We'd be safer, I don't know, rolling boulders down that mountain."

She stared at you, the silence stretching before she blinked, an impressed look entering her eyes. "That is actually a very good idea. Well done Chen-san, you found the perfect solution."

"Er, you're joking right." I poked Tama with my leg just to catch her attention. "I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not. Tama help."

"Well, if we roll down boulders and then follow after them, then even if the Nobunaga troops shoot the bullets will hit the boulders and not our men." She replied after a brief consideration. "Not to mention, who would stay and fire at a landslide coming at them?"

"Tama you did not answer the question." I replied dumbly. "Tama."

"My name is Tadataka." She pouted. "And I don't think Lady Yoshitsune is using sarcasm."

"I'm not." Yoshi confirmed with a nod.

"Well than, Reality has crashed. I might as well join Himiko in the Himiko corner." My hand started knocking against my head as an idea came to me and the words fell out of my lips. "Buddy your boy make a big noise playin in the street gonna be a big man someday. Ya got mud on your face, you big disgrace, kickin your can all over the place."

"I like this plan!" Himiko suddenly stood up, a big grin on her face. "Nobunaga will never see this coming!"

"Traps and small ambushes along the escape paths can be useful to make sure we don't miss survivors. If we do all of this, our chances of success are quite good." Yoshi smiled. "Objections?"

"No." Himiko and Tama both replied.

And it was at that moment I went off the deep end.

My hands banged on the table twice before clapping. "We will we will rock you! C'mon sing it! We will we will rock you!"

The answers from the girls were as follow: "No.", "I respectfully decline.", "It's embarrassing.". Guess who's who?

"Buddy." I began, "You're a young man, hard man, gonna take on the word someday. You got blood on your face, you big disgrace, wavin your banner all over the place!"

And with that I threw my hands up in the air and walked out of the room. "We will we will rock you!"

We did actually use those boulders against the muskets anyways, and it took me a bit but I managed to get the soldiers to chant the song as well.

The girls were glaring at me the entire time though.

====

NNB: I probably apologized to Yoshi and Tama later.

Alex: You better be.

NNB: Shut up and face the Queen.

 

[NekoNekoBoy]

Buddy your an old man poor man. Pleading with your eyes, gonna make you some peace some day. You got mud on your face, you big disgrace.

Somebody better put you back into your place.

 

[Ricrod]

Chen needs urgently a good follow up for the references and jokes.

 

[kingtaso01]

We will we will Rock You!

Well, your army has a new theme song!

Congratulations!

 

[Winged One]

Spoiler

Wait, why don't you just send ninjas in to light the powder storage on fire?

 

[Alexander]

Chapter 13: In My Life

====

It was a dark and actually clear night as I stumbled into my room. Time? Who knows, I haven't looked at the clock in ages. Paper work paper work...

"Ugh my fucking hand." I groaned, falling onto my bed with a flat thump. "Stupid fucking numbers... hurry up and invent a calculator already you guys blrgh."

It was when I turned my head that I caught sight of a piece of paper lying next to the bed that I was...fairly sure hasn't been there last time. A note from Yoshi? No wait it's Yamato's handwriting. Please, let it not be more work... With my still working hand I picked up and read it.

"Midnight, the plains beyond the hill. Come alone."

...Well that didn't sound ominous. Or Suspicious.

Nope, no siree.

With a sigh I picked myself off my bed and grabbed my sword and armour. Midnight is at... Fuck it I could wait.

Still, every inch of my body screamed 'danger' so...

"Huh," I mumbled, glancing around the room. "I wonder if we have any muskets I could use..."

====

With heavy footsteps, sword on my waist, and a musket strapped on my back I arrived at the planes. The once green fields now washed with black, the only illumination being the light of the full moon shining down on the field.

And every single moment I spent out here pricked my instincts with the poison of danger and traces of fear. A part of my mind told me that I should've just ignored the note but I at least trusted Yamato to not lead me into a trap.

...Wait no that'd totally be something she'd do. Crap.

The faint wind fluttered against my armor as I instantly drew my sword in response. The world drew to a still as I held my guard, breathing slightly faster than before.

And yet nobody was here.

This was a mistake why did I come out here? Was it a distraction? A test? Or just Yamato being Yamato?

"Good. Never let your guard down." And then, of course, the moment I thought that her voice came from outside my field of vision. My body moved immediately, as I instantly moved away from where I stood until I was facing the direction of the voice a good five steps away from where I last stood. I let my eyes scan over the area in search of an attack.

Paranoia mode: 100%

"Your speed and level of attention to your surroundings are adequate. But there is a better way to handle surprise attacks. Moves should flow into each other: let me show you my combination."

From the corner of my eye I noticed a glint of light and I barely had time to move my upper body out of the way before the slicing of air reached my ears and Yamato's sword was revealed in the moonlight. However, as soon as I had positioned myself to face the purple haired warrior, she had already gone for another blow and the only thing I could do was block it with my sword.

"First, you break your opponent's stance and stop their movements. Dance, O Flame."

FUCKING HELL HER SWORD IS ON FIRE AND IT'S SO CLOSE AHHHH!!!

I barely managed to work through the panic attack in time to half step back, thankfully Yamato's sword just kept burning instead of exploding or something. I went and pulled my musket out just in case, this close I should be able to hit her either way.

The flames finally revealed Yamato's full body: despite being stone-faced she shot me and the musket a brief look of amusement. "Even a master of battle cannot defend if his stance has been undone. That's when you strike and end the battle. Remember that. Take form, Tsumugari no Tachi!"

Aw crap, you know you're fucked when Yamato breaks out the weeb speak. As soon as the flaming sword of doom started heading my way I instantly squeezed the trigger of musket on reflex. A loud clang rang through out the air as Yamato blocked the bullet with her still flaming sword and continued to slash and it was all I could do to recover from the recoil and use the musket to block the strike before using my sword hand to thrust at Yamato's chest.

The still hot as fuck sword of Yamato cut straight through the musket and pushed my own blade away from her chest. Then she turned the edge of her sword towards me.

I tensed up.

And then relax when she stepped back and sheathed her weapon. "You pass. Trying to use the musket wasn't a smart move, but you still handled the beginning well."

"I mean to be fair, I totally expected this to be a back alley ambush. I bought everything I could think of." I stared at the molten gun. "Also you made us lose a musket, do you remember how many boulders we had to roll to get these things?"

"That's fine, I was talking about using it as a shield. And why is it my fault that you chose one of the expensive models you didn't even pay for?" She raised an eyebrow, the beginning of a grin on her face, before turning serious again. "I wanted to show you everything I've got. It wouldn't be long before I am unable to use my full power. Before that happens...I wish to pass all of my skills to you. Chen Miyafuji: my cheeky, dear apprentice."

"And thus unknowingly, Yamato triggered the moment of her death." I spoke off to the side dramatically. "So does 'All your skills' include that... Flaming Sword of Doom that you've used to try and cut me down? Repeatedly?"

"Yes. How about it? Are you up for it?" She said as if it was the most natural thing to do.

"Sure. Teach me the Tsumi... Er, Tsumiga... Fuck it. Teach me the Shining Finger Sword."

"Tsumugari no Tachi. It'll not be easy, but I know you-Gah...!" She began, only to fall to her knees just like the last time.

I pinched my nose and sighed. "Just sit down, you're going to actually hurt yourself if you go overboard so start resting and you can tell me how to do it from there."

"I am...fine. Mostly." Yamato moved into a proper sitting position. She waited until her breathing returned to normal before speaking again. "Teaching you can wait until tomorrow. There is something I need to say, and it's going to be long. Sit."

I instantly dropped to the ground and crossed my legs, staring Into Yamato's eyes. "My first guess is this is the story of how you got your injuries, my second is that I have no clue what is going to come out of your mouth."

"The second is the closest one. As you know, Zipang used to be one nation. Himiko, Yoshitsune and Nobunaga governed their respective areas. There used to be a King of Zipang to rule over them, but now that the King is gone they're fighting each other."

"Technically at this point it's just 'everyone gang up on NobuNobu' time but go on."

She raised her sword, slightly pulling it out with her thumb to show you the katana's blade. "This is the Kusanagi. Ever heard of it?"

"The name sounds familiar but... Nope."

"It's an ancient blade that has been passed among the rulers of Zipang through generations. Only the King of Zipang can draw and use it."

"But you just- Oh I see where this is going." How do you even react to this... "Well, this situation could be worse. You could've just drawn the blade and go 'This is the Muramasa and now I must take your life!'."

"Oh, that one? They destroyed it after the last owner killed someone important. Too wild of a weapon." She shrugged. "I guess I used to be the ruler of Zipang."

"How does that Blade even tell who's the ruler anyways? Like if centuries from now Zipang changed it's form of government from monarchy to democracy will the blade only be drawn by the... Descendent or apprentice line of the ruler or the one with the most political power?"

It's really an important question, strange swords that only you can draw are not a good reason to be king of a government ya'know.

"I don't know. I don't have any memories of my supposed time as a ruler." She said with complete seriousness. "I don't know if there was a battle or some trouble, because I don't remember it, but apparently I went missing. After a while, Himiko found me fallen on a riverbed and carried me back to her mansion. I heard I was ruling over Zipang from Yamatai since it's my home region...I don't remember any of it, though. Everyone, including me, thought that my memories would return after a while, but there is no sign of it doing so. Only bits and pieces, like details about people that apparently were close to me like Yoshitsune."

"So wait, I'm confused here. Do you have like, complete amnesia or do you have memories until a certain point before they stop and the next thing you know Himiko found you in a river?"

"I only know that I am Yamato Takeru. My parents, my childhood, my time as a King...nothing. Not only that, but I came back with a strange mystery." And in that moment the former ruler of Zipang takes my hand and places it over her heart. A sentence that might sound romantic until I realized one thing.

It wasn't beating.

"Ooooh!" I let out an exclamation. "You're a zombie. Or, maybe you're still human living on borrowed time. Or maybe you're a magical construct in the shape of Yamato Takeru with only a few fractured memories from the real Yamato Takeru and you're slowly breaking down. Actually... Huh, I can think of a lot of answers to this. No offense to you I mean."

"None taken. At this point knowing the truth, even if unpleasant, is preferable to fumbling around in the darkness." She shrugged. "Also..."

She took out something from her clothes and showed it to me: a rectangular pendant, with a golden edge and a blue gem in the middle. On both sides were two rings to pass a cord through.

"Okay, um." I blinked. "Is there something special about this pendant? Besides it mysteriously showing up on you and no one knows about it?"

"Himiko said I was holding it tight. It probably has something to do with my loss of memory. I searched all I could, but it doesn't seem to have any meaning known to others." She put it away. Called it. "I don't know what will become of me in the future. There are no wounds, but this body is slowly losing strength. That's why, I've already decided to sit out of the final battle with Nobunaga and go back to Yamatai to rest. Sorry, I just don't want to make Himiko cry."

"I... It's fine." My fist clenched tight, nails digging into the skin. "Thanks... For telling me. Now I know why you suddenly died out of nowhere if it happens."

She slapped my arm. Hard. "Idiot. I'm doing this precisely to avoid dying out of nowhere. I am not that weak yet." Well thanks for fucking telling me you're living on a goddamn timer! Her tone grew somber. "Do you know of the catastrophe Himiko had a vision of?"

"Of course."

"Yes. That, and another reason, are why I decided I'd protect Himiko, despite having no memories. But, maybe because of my body's condition, the Kusanagi gets more and more worn out with every battle. Just like myself..." She shook her head. "I don't want to fall before her eyes. If I stay on the frontlines, it's going to happen eventually. I was left with no option but to retire without saying why. Where I should have been called a traitor, she told me to stay there so she could keep trying to convince me otherwise."

Yamato made a fond smile. "...She's a kind girl. She probably thought I would feel guilty and disappear, so she made it so I couldn't leave instead."

"I see." I mumbled silently, looking off into the distance.

Yamato was going to die. It was a fact that hit me like a stone, sinking me into a place I didn't even know I could go before.

I knew, reasonably, that everybody was going to die some day. I did not think that I was going to live forever, not when I've seen how easily it is to take human lives, but the fact remained that I was still growing. Still aging and maturing, my natural death still decades away from now.

Yamato wasn't like that. She was dying and every time she fought she got closer and closer to the edge. Well, it wasn't the first time I've had something or even someone die on me. Both my uncle and various pets that I loved have vanished from my life during my time on this earth, hell you could even count my grandpa if baby time counts (though I didn't have any mommies of him being, you know, a baby), but still all those felt... different.

They were old, faded memories that I could scarcely even recall at this point. There in pact was gone and I had moved on, and yet...

...Yet I could remember Yamato, from the moment we met until this point. I could hardly even imagine her not being by our side but here she was, going to go to the other side of the goddamn country and any communication would be slowed down by the fact that this wasn't modern day.

She was going to be gone.

Before I became Chen Miyafuji, did I even have someone like this? I had friends and family... Yet why can't I remember how we met for any of them? Why is it just so easy to forget their existence?!

Yamato... I know she'll disappear soon so, for both her and my sake, I need something to remember her by.
"Tomorrow morning." I began. "Tomorrow you're going to start teaching me the Tsumugari no Tachi and we're going to continue this training every morning until I have it down."

"Of course. Prepare yourself: the time we have is limited, so we mustn't waste even a second." She chuckled. "I like Himiko. She's like a little sister, or a granddaughter...It's that kind of feeling. And you're like the rebellious niece that always cause problems, but eventually grow on everyone. I want to get rid of Himiko's fear and sadness, but I...sorry, I must ask you to carry out my wish."

"Don't worry, it's not a pro-" I paused before I realized something. "Wait crap what was your wish again?"

"Ah, good. You're still you. I thought my words were too depressing." She observed. "I only wish for you to protect and support Himiko. She's not as strong as she likes to appear: she's doing her best to stand on her own two feet, but she's scared and uncertain inside. She needs someone to support her, and you can be that someone. That's why-"

She removed the sheathed Kusanagi from her belt and held it out to me. "This sword. It's yours now."

With no hesitation at all I took the blade from her hands before I felt a jolt from both it and the crystal sword. A sharp sound seemed to pierce the air as I tried to unsheathed the slightly heavier blade only to find that it wouldn't budge.

"Huh. So I guess it's not mine than?" I stared at the sword. "Wait if we win the fight against Edo wouldn't Himiko be the one to use it since she'd technically be the ruler of Zipang - Oh god Himiko's going to be the ruler of Zipang."

"I thought it might respond, but I guess it didn't. I don't know if it would work for Himiko even if she unifies Zipang...honestly, even if she has the right she'll probably need to mature a lot more before that. I trust you, Yoshitsune and the others to reign on her until then."

Yamato stood up and offered a hand which I gladly took. "Thanks, though you may have just doomed us all. And well... Kusanagi's mine now anyway, you trusted me with it so I'm not just going to give it away. Also are you supposed to get the heebee jeebees when you touch it?"

"I have no idea what you mean with those-" Her eyes widened. "Wait, did you feel something when you took the sword? Kusanagi didn't react in any way, so I thought you weren't chosen..."

"Yeah I don't really know what it was about." I stared at the swords in my hands. "The moment I touched it both it and my crystal sword sent this weird feeling up my arm and a sharp sound reached my ears. So... Uh, is that good or bad?"

"I don't know. Let me see your crystal sword." She said, not even bothering with my response as she instantly took it from my hands. "I always found it a little strange, but since you said you didn't know where it came from I never... No way." She loudly breathed out, shock evident on her features. "It matches, but there is no way..."

"What? Is it some lost magic artifact? Because if so I'm probably going to need to get my armor checked out as well just in case." Hm, I wonder if I could use Kusanagi as a club...

"If I am correct it is lost, yes, but much more than a simple magic artifact." She looked me in the eyes. "Legends have that the Kusanagi was given to the first King of Zipang by the God Susanoo. He found it within the belly of a great eight-headed serpent, called Yamata-No-Orochi, that was causing strife to the people of Zipang: after killing it he started cutting its body, only for his sword to break when striking the chest. Within it he found the Kusanagi."

She held up vertically my crystal blue sword. "This, unless it's the best fake I have ever seen, is the Totsuka: the divine blade of Susanoo that was supposed to have been broken."

I took back the sword and held it up vertically myself, the blade glistening in the moonlight. "Totsuka huh? So you're saying this blade could even cut the Yamata-No-Orochi itself?"

And then I laughed. Oh I laughed. For minutes I just laughed in the silence that followed before I could respond again. "AHAHAHAHA! Oh the gods are bastards. Giving me a divine blade that's supposed to be broken? Ha!"

Perhaps the next moment was the stupidest thing I did in my life as I raised the blade up to the full moon. "Well?! Are you not entertained?!"

I didn't know what I was looking for but whatever divine power was out there, they did nothing to respond.

Well, I had already expected as much.

====

Notes:

Alex: Were you asking to be smitten?

NNB: THIS IS YAMATAIIIIIIIIIII!!

 

[Ricrod]

Shining Finger

Click to shrink...

The school of the undefeated of the east!!!

 

[NekoNekoBoy]

The school of the undefeated of the east!!!

Click to shrink...

The winds of the Kings!

 

[meganeshounen]

Are we goung to see dual wielding, flame spewing Gun x Sword antics soon?

Oh and:

The winds of the Kings!

Click to shrink...

ZENSHIN! KEIRETSU!
TENHA KYOURAN!

 

[Winged One]

ZENSHIN! KEIRETSU!
TENHA KYOURAN!

Click to shrink...

Look! The East is burning red!

Perhaps the next moment was the stupidest thing I did in my life as I raised the blade up to the full moon. "Well?! Are you not entertained?!"

Click to shrink...

Somewhat. I don't know the setting well enough to know if someone in-setting might take that as a challenge, though.

 

[NekoNekoBoy]

The school of the undefeated of the east!!!

Click to shrink...

The winds of the Kings!

Click to shrink...

ZENSHIN! KEIRETSU!
TENHA KYOURAN!

Click to shrink...

Look! The East is burning red!

Click to shrink...

I see you are all men of culture as well.

And Yamato totally practices the School of the Undefeated of the East and there is nothing you can do to convince me otherwise.

 

[Alexander]

Chapter 14: House of the Rising Sun

====

It was the middle of the afternoon around two weeks later when we finally came face to face with Nobunaga's army. Our banners held high as we sized each other up.

Meanwhile I was trying to get the fucking sun out of my eyes. Damn you NobuNobu! To turn nature against me!

"I have to hand it to Nobunaga. She's set up her formation to be able to respond to an attack from any direction." Himiko commented, her face uncharacteristically serious as she witnessed the enemy army in front of us.

"It's our job to break that apart." Yoshitsune declared. "I don't think we can use any cheap trick on Nobunaga. Our only strategy is to fight head-on."

"That is true." Tama observed. "Lady Nobunaga chose the battlefield well: surprise attacks are impossible from every direction, and all other roads to Edo are blocked. This is the only place where we can fight her."

"Leave the front-line charge to Benkei!" The weapon-loving girl boasted. "Even if the enemy comes 'Graaahh!' at me, I'll just go 'Booom!' and blow them away!"

"...So uh, who's doing what?" I asked. "BenBen's in the front, Tama's not fighting… I'm going to be the one facing NobuNobu aren't I?"

"Incorrect! I'll fight too!" Tama announced before an unit of honest-to-god ninja appear behind her. "I'll direct our cover forces to harass the enemy with shuriken. We have quite a lot of them...and my name is Tadataka!"

"SINCE WHEN WERE YOU AN ACTUAL NINJA!?"

"Since the beginning! Sir, why are you so surprised?" She was shocked. "How can I be a good cartographer without knowing how to move around undetected?"

"Well I mean, it's more for the gag-Shutting up now." Someone has to be the tsukkomi and it certainly isn't going to be Himiko. "So Tama's… doing Tama things, what about you Yoshi?"

"I'll handle the sidelines." She replied. "As far as I can see Nobunaga's long ranged units are all muskets. If you and Benkei keep the attention of their frontlines troops, I should be able to move around them and disarm the musketeers." She replied. "It's a simple tactic, but against Nobunaga is the one with the most chances of success."

"Alrighty then, now that we all know what we're doing let's try not to die and kick some ass in the process." I declared. "Good luck yo!"

Now where did I put that spare musket…

"Oni-san!" But before I could find Himiko pointed at the enemy army. "Look!"

A lone rider on a horse was approaching.

"That...Looks like the enemy general has made her appearance." Yoshi softly commented.

"You've done well to come this far. I'll praise you for that." Those were the rider's opening words. Despite her bold and assured aura the praise sounded genuine.

Pink hair flowed down from her neck all the way down to her legs as she sat on her horse, seemingly looking down on us. Her armour was black with red fire seemingly burned on it and…

"Himiko." I asked. "Who is that?"

"We're finally caught up to you, Nobunaga!" Was her answer, more directed at the new arrival than me. "You can't run now!"

"Wait wait wait." Nope, nu-uh, not happening. "That's Nobunaga?"

"That's my line. You are all about to be soundly defeated by me." She gave a cocky smile. "And you must be the so-called Servant of Heaven. Nice to meet you: by this point I should have already been able to unify Zipang, but because of you my plans are all ruined."

"...I'm sorry but I can't take you seriously WHILE YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE A GODDAMN STRIPPER!"

Yeah, no joke, for all I said about her armour it was basically just the chestplate with some add-ons. No under armour, no nothing. It's like she grabbed the first piece of armour she could find and was too lazy to put on everything else.

"What did you say?! You damn brat, who you're calling a stripper!" She yelled in anger.

"It's not my fault you're not even wearing pants! Why would you do that you're on a goddamn horse!" I roared back. "Are you just getting off by the feeling of it between your legs?!"

She snorted in mild amusement. "As if a brat like you could know anything about getting off. Nor could he appreciate fashion." She crossed her arms. "For your information, this is the latest trend that's all the rage in Europe. Pants are pointless pieces of clothes, and therefore unneeded."

I snapped my fingers as I realization hit me. "Oh you're one of those people! The kind of person who tries so hard to be European it's cringeworthy! Sorry old lady but just because it's in fashion to walk around with a slap of clothing on your crotch halfway across the world doesn't mean you can do it anywhere! After all, it just makes you look desperate!"

"I'm not old!" She snapped. "Youuuu! When I finish beating your collective ass I'll personally teach you a lesson!"

"Oni-san! You must win! You absolutely must win!" Himiko told me in a panicked tone. "Nobunaga is a deviant! The last time I lost to her she...she…"

"THAT WAS ALL IN YOUR MIND! You just started fantasizing out of the blue, talking about whips and candles! It was creepy!" Nobunaga shot back. "Who the hell do you think I am?!"

Hey hey do you want to get us taken down for copyright infringement!?

"It's okay Himiko, I see now." I patted the miko's shoulder. "Not only is she getting desperate because of her age, but she's so much of a pervert that she drives any potential suitor she could have away! It's a combination made in hell and now she can only take her frustrations out on enemy soldiers!"

Yoshi and the rest of the soldiers seemed caught between gaping like a fish and laughing like hyenas. Some were doing both.

Nobunaga narrowed her eyes in a glare cold enough to freeze even the devil's ass. "...I'm a hair's breath from coming down and throttle you myself, so it's better I leave now. But remember this! My name is Oda Nobunaga! They call me the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, Ruler of the Realm of Desire! Tenka Fubu! Ruling over this world is my divine calling! I will consume all obstacles in my path, and make them my own! Come at me, Himiko Army! Servant of Heaven! If you think you can beat me, then go ahead and try!"

And with that she galloped back to her own army.

I looked at my own army who were all staring at me wide eyed with various emotions on their face. "...Well if she makes a silly speech like that we're contractually obligated to knock her down a peg. Let's kick some ass men!"

"Benkei, please make sure to protect Chen-kun." Yoshi sighed. "Since he has but guaranteed that Nobunaga will personally target him with extreme prejudice."

"Leave it to me!"

"Eheheheheh!" Himiko, by contrast, was laughing evilly." Yes! Yes! Run with your tail between your legs! Amazing, Oni-san! You even made that gorilla woman retreat! And the best has yet to come!"

"Oh yes." A grin manifested itself on my face as I let the rush of emotions I felt expand into one point in my hand before a ball of fire busted into existence on my palm. "This will be fun."

====

Contrary to what I initially thought, magic isn't the result of arcane forces doing arcane things. Nope, instead all you need is two things: A Strong Mind and a Strong Emotion.

That's literally it, apparently with a strong enough mind and the emotion to fuel it you can bend the laws of reality to your whim. Of course that's not as easy as it sounds, I myself still haven't managed to set my sword on fire and swing it but I could generate loads of fire.

See while some people might draw out their feelings of anger, Justice, or whatever else I've managed to call upon a much more… Easier emotion? I don't know if anyone else has done this but the feeling I use to fuel my Brave is Adrenalin.

The feeling of standing against the edge, the sheer rush of battle, I am literally setting things on fire with my boiling blood.

...Note to self: Don't say that out loud. Anyways, the sense of rush I get boosts my power and that means all rushes.

Including shit talking.

I mean yeah I'd still say what I did anyways but thanks to that I got enough adrenalin to start off with at the beginning of the battle. Hopefully that'll make a difference.

So it was with sword in hand, sword-club, and musket on my back did I enter the battlefield ready to raise hell.

While hiding behind BenBen's units as they charged forward.

As Yoshi suspected Nobunaga chose me as a target right from the start. The opposite troops of enemy samurai parted, revealing the pink-haired stripper pointing a fancy red musket, probably custom-made, in my direction with a grin that almost literally requested for my blood. The many, many musketeers behind her were also doing the same.

"Here I go! Chaaarge!" BenBen's unit marched forward. She was using the many weapons on her persona as an impromptu barrier, while the guys under here were all wearing heavy armor: not completely bulletproof, but thick enough to let them handle everything but a lucky shot.

"Kill all the ones they miss!" I yelled at my own men. "Don't leave a single one alive!"

"...You mean those that Benkei-sama's troops miss, right?" A random soldier asked with a strange look on his face.

"I- Yes!" Holy shit. "Why would we kill our own men?!"

"Because-" The rest of his words was drown out by the roar of Nobunaga's muskets all shooting at the same time.

"...Oh." I mumbled as I watched the men who didn't get knocked down charge forward. "Fair point. You think we have enough muskets to shoot the musketeers down between the gaps of BenBen's troops?"

...Actually why didn't I just shoot Nobu from here?

"I honestly don't know. I mean, there must be a reason why we don't have mixed troops." His eyes were darting back and forth, on edge for anything trying to end his life.

"Organizational purposes really. Hold on a sec." I sheathed my sword and grabbed my musket, pointing it at the old lady giving me a glare before pulling the trigger and firing at her horse. The sound of the gun booming through the air as the recoil reached my arms. It was only a few seconds later did the horse began to go wild, only for Nobu to jump off the beast and line up a shot and- "WOAH SHIT!"

I barely had any time to dodge as a bullet came flying right at me, hitting my right shoulder though not piercing through the arm. It was definitely going to leave a bruise though. I spit in the dirt. "Sorry no time to talk I'm on the move!"

Grit through the pain grit through the pain grit through the pain- DODGE!

"Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed as I picked myself into back of something of a combat stance. I shot another bullet in the direction that the last explosion came from, the pink haired women also somehow managing to slip through the crowd.

Before I knew it we had begun hunting each other in the battlefield, each of us cutting through the tide of soldiers like a knife, shooting each other whenever we caught a glimpse of the other and stabbing the enemy soldiers as we made our way through the war's ground.

Unfortunately the name of the game is ammo and I didn't have time, and maybe even supplies, to go for a reload. Which only meant one thing: I needed to go close range.

"You're a lousy shot! Who taught you, a blind man?" Nobunaga laughed, kicking a soldier in the balls and stepping over him. Her red musket was hanging on her back, while she wielded a normal musket in her right hand and a sword in the other. "I'll use your sorry ass as target practice, who knows you may learn something too."

I pointed at the pink haired women before twirling my finger around and yelling back. "Teach me Grandma Nobu!"

And then I ducked as another bullet grazed my arm. Well it's apparently officially cat season now!

Still, can't afford to waste shots…

Nobu let out an incoherent scream of rage as I ducked in between fights, stabbing anyone who was wearing Edo armour before ducking out again.

"COME BACK HERE!" Nobu screamed again, shooting and slashing like a madwoman. "I'LL TEACH YOU RESPECT EVEN IF I HAVE TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR-!"

"Now I'm mad!" That was when BenBen rammed into Nobu with a weapon that I could only describe as a very large, spiked metal cylinder on top of a shaft. "Ben-kei Smash!"

Haha yes! Plan understood, hell yeah!

The ground below me literally burst into flames as I let out my Brave, getting higher and higher the closer I got to the scantily-clad women. My hands instantly sheathed my sword and musket as I blazed through the battle ground, the soldiers dodging out of the way or being burnt alive as I grabbed the only weapon I hadn't used yet.

"So you want to conquer Zipang huh?!" The sound of my voice roared throughout the battlefield as I caught sight of Nobu who had barely managed to save her fall at the cost of her musket and a cracked armour. "Well allow me to help! Kusanagi Blow!"

In that instant, before she could realize it, I used the sword that choose the emperor of Zipang to bash the would-be conqueror in the head. She tried to block with her arms in a hazy attempt to stop the blow but the armour on her arm broke as a horrible cracking sound ringed throughout the air. Her legs seemingly turned into noodles as she dropped to the ground trembling, revealing burnt and bleeding flesh where my blow hit.

"First, I cannot believe Yamato gave you the Kusanagi." She hissed between gritted teeth, her glare hotter than even my flames. "Second HOW COULD YOU USE IT AS A CLUB??!"

"Hey hey." I complained, sitting on my defeated opponent's back with a thump. "It makes a very effective club. Also BenBen, up top!"

"Yay!" She raised a hand and slapped mine. "NobuNobu defeated! Nobu!"

"Who's NobuNobu?!"

"You're NobuNobu silly. Nobu."

"What is this...Just what is this?! I got beat up...by a bunch of immature braaaaaatsss!!!" She yelled in denial and frustration. "Damn it! Damn iiiiiittt!!"

"Ha! Trust me, any dreams you had of epic battles and glorious victories were snatched away from you the moment you took my bait." I grinned. "I mean really, how did you forget that you weren't fighting one but two commanders, is your age getting to you? Ah well, that's not important 'cause now…"

I put away the Kusanagi and pulled out the Totsuka again, stabbing it into the dirt. "Now we've reached a conundrum. See you're useful, very useful. Not only do you have access to the only musket trade, you also are still good at your job as a commander. So here's the deal, you surrender to the Himiko Army and become part of Yamatai, uniting Zipang in the process while also joining us on a happy bout of world conquest or you can refuse and I'll stab your guts out while any dreams of conquest will die with you, alone with only a single territory to your name. Now what'll it be?"

"You're a ruthless little shit. Well, I can appreciate the attitude." She snorted, showing admirable self-control as she ignored the pain from her injuries. "I give up, I give up. If I leave you alone I'm worried you and Himiko will mess up, so I'm joining you. Now, could you get the fuck up?! You're heavy!"

"BenBen keep an eye on her." I instructed the girl. "Now uh, what to do… Oh right, VICTOREEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"

====

Notes:

Alex: Achievement unlocked: "Use Oda Nobunaga as a Chair". Congrats.

NNB: And that's all the territories in Zipang captured. Give me another one.

Alex: It's only a bronze-

NNB: Don't care 100% completion or bust.

 

[TimelordLucario]

This is perfection, Nobu.

 

[meganeshounen]

Oh yeah, these were guns made in the era where rifling was unheard of.

Of course accuracy would be shit and the only way to hit something effectively would be an entire firing squad.

 

[Heaven Canceler]

Oh yeah, these were guns made in the era where rifling was unheard of.

Of course accuracy would be shit and the only way to hit something effectively would be an entire firing squad.

Click to shrink...

Not to forget that early guns couldn't actually break good armour. That is one of these funny things, with people always thinking that guns killed plate armour. In practice, plate was already dying when guns became a thing since people had developed good methods to counter heavy armoured opponents.

There was a period of some odd 300 years where guns kept getting better and people would in turn make better armour, which artificially kept heavy armour alive for a long time. Good blacksmiths even proved their armour's durability by shooting at it to create a visible mark, that was how bulletproof was made as a term.

In a setting with magical armour, guns may need even longer to truly replace other weapons.

 

[Ricrod]

What is this...Just what is this?! I got beat up...by a bunch of immature braaaaaatsss!!!

Click to shrink...

How old is Chen anyway?

 

[NekoNekoBoy]

Honestly speaking this chapter probably was the one that took us the longest to do, clocking in at around 6 hours from 9 pm to 3 am my time.

Yeah I'm gonna need a long bout of cat naps.

 

[meganeshounen]

Not to forget that early guns couldn't actually break good armour. That is one of these funny things, with people always thinking that guns killed plate armour. In practice, plate was already dying when guns became a thing since people had developed good methods to counter heavy armoured opponents.

There was a period of some odd 300 years where guns kept getting better and people would in turn make better armour, which artificially kept heavy armour alive for a long time. Good blacksmiths even proved their armour's durability by shooting at it to create a visible mark, that was how bulletproof was made as a term.

In a setting with magical armour, guns may need even longer to truly replace other weapons.

Click to shrink...

I'm trying to rein in my inner Isekai Munchkin tendencies, because:
- I'm not even well versed at the inner workings of guns, much less antique ones.
- I'm aware of the source material (the game), so anything I would do to it would spoil the !FUN!.

I'll just be happy with what we have right now.

Oh, and our resident catboy knocking down DAIROKUTEN MAOU a peg or two.

 

[NekoNekoBoy]

Oh, and our resident catboy knocking down DAIROKUTEN MAOU a peg or two.

Click to shrink...

...Huh, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven is only two words.

The more you know.

In other news, no new chapter until tomorrow but Alex has decided to throw ominous messages of DOOM at me before hand to stew on for the break.

Oh shit.

 

[meganeshounen]

..Huh, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven is only two words.

The more you know.

Click to shrink...

I mean, if you really want to get pedantic about it:

第六天魔王 = 6 characters/1 word/1 term
Dairokuten Maou = 2 words
Demon King of the Sixth Heaven = 6 words

Though if you're going to use that nickname for her, never forget to always spell it on ALL CAPS. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. FOR EMPHASIS.

 

[NekoNekoBoy]

Though if you're going to use that nickname for her, never forget to always spell it on ALL CAPS. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. FOR EMPHASIS.

Click to shrink...

I UNDERSTAND.

 

[Winged One]

Hey Alexander, should we let him open my spoiler tag from earlier now?

 

[Alexander]

Hey Alexander, should we let him open my spoiler tag from earlier now?

Click to shrink...

About the ninja? Sure, cat's out of the bag anyway.

 

[meganeshounen]

Spoiler

Oh snap.

Chen should try asking Yoshitsune if she ever had thoughts regarding faking her own death and going over to Mongolia under another name.

Like say... Genghis Khan.

 

[Alexander]

snip

Click to shrink...

Dude, spoiler please.

 

[Winged One]

Wait, why don't you just send ninjas in to light the powder storage on fire?

Click to shrink...

I just kind of assumed you'd have ninjas, being in a version of Sengoku Jidai. I wasn't expecting them to be led by your cartographer.

Your "act exactly like usual and let NobuNobu fuck up trying to smack you for it" strategy was good too, though.

 

[meganeshounen]

Dude, spoiler please.

Click to shrink...

Didn't think it would be relevant, but done. My bad nonetheless.

 

[NekoNekoBoy]

Your "act exactly like usual and let NobuNobu fuck up trying to smack you for it" strategy was good too, though.

Click to shrink...

I actually did realize halfway through that NobuNobu seemingly forgot that there wasn't one but two heroes on the field. That's what this was about.

I pointed at the pink haired women before twirling my finger around and yelling back, "Teach me Grandma Nobu!"

Click to shrink...

I pointed at the pink haired women

Click to shrink...

'Take out NobuNobu'

before twirling my finger around

Click to shrink...

'Around Back'

and yelling back, "Teach me Grandma Nobu!"

Click to shrink...

'I'll be a distraction. '

It was basically a gamble on weather or not BenBen was both watching and understood the plan, which she did.

 

[Alexander]

BAKASMURF, THIS IS AN HONEST WARNING: DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER AND THE REST OF THE THREAD, IT CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR FATE/STAY NIGHT!

=====

Chapter 15: Fallout Boy

====

It was in the middle of the march back, about two weeks after the battle of Yamatai and one grumbling NobuNobu being dragged with us, later that Himiko decided to confront me along the road.

"Oni-san?" Himiko asked as the afternoon sun glared down on me. "Can we talk?"

"...Sure?" I shrugged. "Whaddya want to talk about?"

"You see, Zipang's finally been unified...And now that even Nobunaga's joined us, our next battles seem like they'll be easier." She began. "It's going to get busy for a while, but once Zipang settles down we can move on to the rest of the world."

She smiled. "This is all thanks to you, Oni-san. It's thanks to you being there that we're made it this far. Thank you."

"Um, I… Your welcome?" Er, how to respond to that… "I mean, I don't know what I did beyond beating up Yoshi, annoying the hell out of NobuNobu before beating her up even worse, and like, almost all of the paper work after the Kyoto debacle but you're welcome anyways I guess."

"It is a big deal!" She insisted. "Not only me, but Takeru and the others… It probably wouldn't have been possible to unify Zipang with just my strength alone."

"So why are you bringing this up now?" My eyes locked with hers but I only continued to give noncommittal shrugs. "We helped yeah but it's not something you really need to thank us for. We all did it together, even NobuNobu. Her role was being someone to make fun of."

"It's always fun to see her get worked up, isn't it?" She giggled before her face turned somber. "When I was younger...I was just a sheltered girl whose only merit was divination. But I was able to 'see' at will back then...Until my mother died. Perhaps you already know, but Takeru has lost all memories of her past."

"And she's clinically dead but yeah, I have." A sigh escaped my lips, as I silently turned back to the road towards Yamatai.

"Yes, she-What do you mean clinically dead?!" Himiko shrieked.

"Wait you didn't know?!" I whipped my head towards her. "She literally has no heartbeat! I thought you knew!"

"I thought she was feeling the aftereffects of whatever happened to her after she went missing!" She grabbed on the neck of my clothes. "When? What! How?!"

"I don't know! All I know is that ever since you found her she has literally not had a heartbeat and…" My face grew somber as the news hit me again, "And... "

"Since then?! But how, people need a beating heart! But she was fine until now..." Her voice turned frantic. "That must mean, it's not too late! To all units: start walking faster! No, start running! We must return to Yamatai-"

"Why do you think she didn't join us for the fight take Edo." I interrupted. "She's not dying… majorly. I… How do I even say this?"

She whirled to face me, more than one hint of steel in her eyes. "We need to get her a doctor! And a mage I guess….Aargh! The point is, we can't just let things as they are! I refuse to lose Takeru a second time!"

"You don't think I know that?!" I barked back before wincing. "I… thought you knew. I thought you knew about it and the reason for her retirement."

"...Stupid Takeru." She pouted, tears forming on the corners of her eyes. "Staying silent about something like this..."

After that we ended up doubling our pace to get back to Yamatai as soon as possible. I suspected Yamato was soon due to a mighty scolding from Himiko. Probably due to keeping something like this secret as to not to stress her out or something equally as dumb.

Bah, Hero Club Rule Number Four: If you're troubled, talk to someone. Words to live by.

====

"What's up with Himiko?" Nobunaga suddenly asked when we were close to the capital. She pointed to the miko, who was skipping ahead. "She's been antsy since a few days. And she also increased the army's pace."

"I…" My mind raced back to the scene with Himiko. "I don't think you have the clearance to know?"
Himiko was close to Yamato sure but NobuNobu was essentially a stranger as far as I knew.

"Ah? What's that supposed to mean?" She scowled. "I swear, you and Himiko could be real blood siblings by how much you're alike. You're both annoying as hell."

"Alright, alright. That's enough." Yoshi interrupted. "Yamatai's in sight! Let's get there quick so we can find out what the problem is."

"Well I mean, I could tell you now if you like." I shrugged, again. I was doing that alot lately. "It's just that NobuNobu is essentially a stranger and it's kind of… personal? I'll tell you when we get to the capital."

She sighed and a few minutes of silence fell upon us as we traversed through the dark woodlands. The only noise being the marching of soldiers and the chirping of cirkets before a faint smell reached our noses. This smell, it smelt like....

My head instantly whipped to above the hills before us and I could make out something glowing. "...MOVE! NOW!"

The first to reach the same conclusion was Nobunaga. "Is that-Shit!" She began to run, and we immediately followed her. Realization soon spread throughout all the soldiers as we sprinted up the hill, not caring for the weight of our armour before we all came to a screaching halt at the top of the hill.

...The city was washed in orange, the screams of the citizens that had once been muffled now filling the night sky in a cacophony of the damned. It was like an illusion had been ripped from our eyes and only the truth remained. No longer was this yet another silent night on the march, but a tragedy that was unfolding before our eyes.

We stood several feet away from the scene, and yet our bodies still felt the rage of the heat as we burned with them.

"We… I…" I had to shut my eyes away from the sight as if I was staring at the sun. "Who… WHO THE HELL?!"

"W-what!? It's like a sea of flames!" Nobunaga yelled.

Himiko was trembling. "W-Why...I didn't hear anything about an enemy attacking…"

"This is bad…" Yoshi whispered, with BenBen and Tama too distraught to say anything. "If the flames keep spreading like this, they'll devour the whole city!"

"Well?!" I yelled at the rest of the army. "MOVE! Get any survivor out of their as soon as you can and try to find a water supply!"

"The people of the capital...Takeru!"

And then Himiko did the worst choice possible: she rushed in alone.

"Himiko!" I yelled before turning to face my fellow commanders. "Yoshitsune! Nobunaga! You're in charge of the army! Make sure to get as many survivors as you can, I'm going in after her!"

Not listening to any protest they had I jumped down the hill to chase after my runaway queen.

"We'll follow after getting the people to safety!" I heard Yoshi shouting as I leave.

====

The capital, the place I called home for the first few weeks after my arrival in this strange land, was burning.

"HIMIKO!" I shouted again as I ran through the burning streets. The smell of dead corpses rotted the air and though I had killed enough people to damn me to hell this was the first time I had death so flagrantly burned into my senses. It was enough to make me sick.

But I moved on, I had to, or else-!

"T-Takeru… You're alright!? I, I'm so glad… I thought for sure you have been swallowed up by the fire…" I heard Himiko said with a relieved tone as I slid into the main street from an alley way I was in.

The Miko stood there, standing in front of the purple haired warrior as the capital burned around her.

"Of course I am alright." Yamato declared with a savage grin. "Fire will not burn this body of mine."

...My instinct immediately had my feet moving as I took out the crystal blue blade of the Totsuka and shoved Himiko behind me. "Get away, now!"

"Oni-san? What's wrong?" Himiko asked with a confused voice. "I don't know what's going on here, but let's get Takeru out of here."

"...I was looking for you." Flames came into existence around Yamato, stronger than I have ever seen. "The supreme commander of Yamatai and the Servant of Heaven. If I erase the both of you, this will be all over."

She unsheathed the sword on her waist. I couldn't help but notice the blots of blood on the sheath. "Now be engulfed in my flames of hell and disappear!"

"LIKE HELL!" I yelled, summoning my own fire as she swung her blade at me. My arms quickly moved to parry it but the strength of a mountain came crashing my way and it took almost all the muscles I've gained throughout my stay here to direct the blade away. "Hey, let me ask you a question."

As fast as I could I pushed my body to move faster, to slash her opening only for her to quickly block my blow. "Is your heart beating?!"

"O-Oni-san…" Himiko, having moved to a safe distance, was trembling. "Why...Why is Takeru...Why are you trying to kill us?"

"You two must be eliminated." She declared with a monotonous tone before shoving me away. "Zipang must not be unified yet…I am the Hero of Zipang who eliminated the rampaging gods of this land. My divine power takes the form of flames that embody my raging spirit. You that would bring harm to the land of Zipang. Be rent by my sword and reduced to mere dust."

"P-Please stop joking!" Himiko half-shouted, half-begged. "This is too big of a prank-"

"STOP BEING IN DENIAL AND RUN!" I interrupted with a roar. "This isn't the Yamato you and I know! This so called 'hero' is stopping the unification for nothing but her own glory! The Yamato we know would never do-"

"Henceforth, I am the God-Slaying Blade..." I moved, running as fast as could to get Himiko out of the way. "Tsumugari no Tachi."

There was no fire wrapping around her blade, no instead the fire's roared up high into the sky as eight massive eastern dragons made of pure fire manifest into the world all pointed at me and about to unleash pure hell fire from their jaws.

My breath panted as I ran as fast as I could to Himiko and dragged her into an alley way. "I SAID RU-"

And suddenly a wave of pure heat shoots forward as the buildings behind us are rendered to ash by the eight dragons. "Holy shit."

That wasn't a blade.

Himiko was screaming incoherently in fright. Yamato lazily approached, sword enveloped in a roaring inferno of fire. "You may be the Servant of Heaven, but you cannot overcome this gap in power. Farewell."

She swung down her blade, as if trying to cut me in half. In desperation I once again tried to block the blade with my own, and suddenly I felt as If I was holding up the sky. The only thing stopping my impending doom was a tiny slab of metal.

Why… WHY?!

Over the sparking blades I could make out one word on her lips before my world snapped in two.

Futile.

And suddenly, before I realized it her blade had cut through my own and into my armor, the boiling liquid in my veins pouring out of me like a waterfall and permanently staining my white armor with it's color.

I struggled to stand as my vision began to blur, I couldn't fall here. Not now.

"Yamato.." I mumbled as blood poured out of my lips. My mind beginning to dull as the glare I was giving to my attacker had the sight replaced with a scene long ago.

"...Pff. Ahaha, ahahaha, ahahahahahaha!" By contrast Yamato started laughing. "You're a funny boy! You showed off those incredible skills, and now you're weak at the knees! Funny indeed! I like you!"

"YAMATO!"

"I was thinking on going easy on you in respect to your age...but I see there is no need for that. All that's left is a victory speech from the Servant of Heaven to soothe our soldiers' tired bodies, a quick nap and then we can start your real training."

"YAMA-"

"I only wish for you to protect and support Himiko. She's not as strong as she likes to appear: she's doing her best to stand on her own two feet, but she's scared and uncertain inside. She needs someone to support her, and you can be that someone."

"YAMATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" I roared with all my breath before the pain hit. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I couldn't see anymore, the haze having taken over my vision. Nevertheless, maybe just out of pure rage, I moved. My body taking the broken blade and attempting to at least injure the woman before me.

Because as long as this person, the one who dared to use the name of my friend to commit acts of monstrosity in the name of some 'noble' goal still stood…

I

REFUSED

TO DIE

====

"Well now-" A sarcastic, almost familiar voice said from behind me as the world turned white. "This is a fine mess you've gotten yourself into. Congratulations."

Slowly I turned around only to come face to face with someone I'd never thought I'd see. White hair peppered on tanned skin as a man in red coat and black armor crossed his arms, smirking smugly at me. Though unlike what his facial expression implied, his eyes were as cold as steel. Almost like a swor-

"...EMIYA?"

Yeah, he was definitely a deadringer for the counter guardian himself.

He shook his head. "No. I'm just the closest thing that, based on your memories, your mind associates on an unconscious level with the power that has aided you so far. So yeah, I'm basically you roleplaying as EMIYA, not the real deal."

"Me roleplaying as EMIYA…?" I blinked. "What the shit, I'd be terrible at that and so by proxy you're terrible at that."

"True." He nodded. "But that's not the issue here, isn't it?"

"You're right." My head dropped down to my body which was somehow perfectly healed before I clenched a fist, knuckles turning white. "Yamato… GARH!!!"

"...Honestly, I can't tell you something about that you don't know already." He shook his head again and shrugged. Hey that's my thing. "So I'll tell you: it's not by chance that you arrived in this world with the Totsuka. Actually, the blade breaking right now is pretty much perfect."

"The first part is a no duh situation." My eyes turned to a glare. "The second though? Explain. Now."

"The Kusanagi is a superior sword, but it's damaged. It's not the fault of Yamato's deteriorating conditions: rather, it's a similar situation. Except, the Kusanagi's damage cannot be reversed the same way as Yamato's: it needs specific conditions." He gestured with one hand. "Such as the sacrifice of the same blade that, in the myth, died so that the Kusanagi could come to life."

...I could feel the grin that blossomed on my face as realization dawned on me. "Oh you magnificent bastard."

The image of the eight dragons from before popped into my head.

If I was the Susanoo fighting with the Totsuka… then she was the Yamata-No-Orochi that must break the Totsuka in order for the Kusanagi to bear fruit.

"Thanks, but it was not my idea." The smug grin returned. "Now, how to use the Kusanagi. First, you will need to see one of the memories recorded in the blade to know what to say." He stressed the last words. "After that you will be back to Yamato and Himiko, with enough strength to both match her and survive your injuries. You'll feel like shit for days afterwards, but it beats dying. Are you ready?"

I smirked.

There wasn't any need for an answer.

PART ONE: WORLD CONQUEST FOR NEWBIES​

END​

 

[Winged One]

wtf? Why is Yamato possessed? What's with the EMIYA cosplay?