As my eyes blearily opened, I realized something was very wrong. A beeping sound came from my...
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User | Total |
---|---|
Alien-Kun | 6 |
Throw = toss = propel and object by imparting force[Throw withstanding a blunt-force attack, the skill 'Blunt resistance' was created!]
Her reaction does not make sense. She is acting as if she knows what actually happened rather than what he said. What he said does not indicate he was meditating, or looking into some danger, or that it was not just some bad memory. She acts as if he told her exactly what happened instead of the words he actually said"I… I saw something. I think it was a bunch of memories, as fragmented as they were. Nothing very conclusive, but I think something bad happened before I arrived here. I don't think I want to know what it is."
I'd said my piece without really looking back at Sky, so I was very surprised when I felt her slap me upside the head. It actually hurt enough for my Blunt resistance to level up. I turned to her, confused.
"That's incredibly stupid and irresponsible,"
could probably just replace "I… I saw something. I think it was a bunch of memories, as fragmented as they were. Nothing very conclusive, but I think something bad happened before I arrived here. I don't think I want to know what it is."...
I have nothing to say, nope. I'm bound to make mistakes. Those were just two of many, I suppose. And again: the first 3 chapters are pre-written. I'm not going back to redo them.
Not first, but thanks nonetheless. Yeah, not many people write about Shantae. It's a decent low-power world, and since that a lot of the lore contradicts itself from game to game, I can just choose to stick to the canon for one of the games instead of cross-referencing, and can sprinkle a lot of headcanon in this.Also the.shantae start is a curve ball
I didn't see that one coming
Well done
Oh, poor MC-kun! To see your adventure so tragically cut short! Having just 10hp, as listed a few paragraphs before, it's truly a pitiful existence!My arms quaked under the heft of the book, but I managed to lift it for a few seconds. Just enough to plop it into my lap… and get hurt.
[-15 HP]
I wheezed in pain for a few seconds, before it all seemingly returned to normal. Somehow, I wasn't in pain anymore. Did… did the system take care of that? That was amazing! Though I didn't want to try and get my HP to 0. Ever.
[Throw withstanding a blunt-force attack, the skill 'Blunt resistance' was created!]
Hell yeah! Could it be, I'm finally going to get the long-wished-for sciencey, crafting-based Gamer?
D'oh. Well, it's fine... probably..."Is it possible that this dumb game doesn't have a help section?"
A screen appeared.
[Ask your question: _ ]
Ammonian? Are you taking the piss?"Can one of you explain what exactly is going on?" I ground out.
One rather burly sailor came up to me. "These 'ere are Ammonian soldiers, lad.
... Ammo Baron. Whose troops use self-recharging energy weapons, rather than something that uses physical ammunition. Assuming that's from canon, I'd have to say it's the original creator who was taking the piss in that case.Pro'lly some hare-brained scheme from Ammo Baron to conquer Sequin Land or sumthin'."
First, I want to say that I really liked how the MC found explanations for the Gamer system by using Analyse on the popups organically, rather than using a Help option as such or worse yet a note signed "ROB" smugly outlining the situation - there are worse things than chatty ROBs, but not many nor by much.
Oh, poor MC-kun! To see your adventure so tragically cut short! Having just 10hp, as listed a few paragraphs before, it's truly a pitiful existence!
I can only assume one of those was an error
Also, "Through," not "Throw."
Hell yeah! Could it be, I'm finally going to get the long-wished-for sciencey, crafting-based Gamer?
On to the second chapter!
D'oh. Well, it's fine... probably...
I can't comment on setting it in the Shantae world or the handling of its characters, since literally everything I know about it other than what you've shown is that it's a video game series starring a cute redhead. The characters as shown are believable and interesting, however.
And, #3
Ammonian? Are you taking the piss?
... Ammo Baron. Whose troops use self-recharging energy weapons, rather than something that uses physical ammunition. Assuming that's from canon, I'd have to say it's the original creator who was taking the piss in that case.
It's a good thing MC has genre conventions on his side, because most of those "nonlethal takedowns" would be at best severe crippling injuries and anything involving strikes to the head more likely to result in serious brain damage or death. Not taking off any hypothetical points for that -- as I say it's a common genre convention -- just saying. Don't try this at home, kids.
MC-kun got quite a thumpin' from Ammo Baron. Pity he didn't find Sky during the fight first, with another (Probably?) combat effective person (or if she's not a fighter, having her help Shantae while he and Bolo fought) he might at least have stayed in good enough condition to be conscious for the whole encounter. Winning it on his own was probably never in the cards, at least unless he'd used the meditation time to GRIND MOAR instead.
Overall, this looks like a fun story, please continue.
I enjoy the idea of magitech (magic and technology working together and covering each other's weak points), so that might be Trevor's endgame.
Apparently I knew even less than I thought, and had gotten Shantae herself (whose 'do is purple, yes) mixed up with some similarly dressed fanart for an unrelated character. As for the games themselves, platformers are decidedly not my genre (never were even before persistent numb-thumb mandated that I only play turn-based games that won't require fast and furious button mashing) so even really well known ones are largely opaque to me - I don't think I could even name any besides Mario and Rayman, and I'm not sure about Rayman.
Apparently I knew even less than I thought, and had gotten Shantae herself (whose 'do is purple, yes) mixed up with some similarly dressed fanart for an unrelated character. As for the games themselves, platformers are decidedly not my genre (never were even before persistent numb-thumb mandated that I only play turn-based games that won't require fast and furious button mashing) so even really well known ones are largely opaque to me - I don't think I could even name any besides Mario and Rayman, and I'm not sure about Rayman.
Anyway, I'm glad you found the multi-part comments useful; I do try to give more than a bland "It's good" when I can think of something meaningful that hasn't already been said.
Yeah, they just saw him return to normal after getting mangled by a tank. What makes this so different that they had to remove his arm?
I'm a little confused by the fact that both Shantea and the character himself are blaming the character for attacking the Kraken. But the Kraken was attacking the boat, what was he supposed to do ? The stupid thing might be going into the water against an aquatic predator but even that can be understandable because the Kraken was trying the crush the boat at this point.
Still it was a nice chapter and I can't wait for the next one.