Chapter 1
Title: Rebirth
...
I opened my eyes to wake from my sleep but I can feel...
Title: Rebirth
...
I opened my eyes to wake from my sleep but I can feel...
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User | Total |
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Holy Joker | 37 |
Don't worry I will release more soon.
Yeah I also know that I did that as a mistake. But when I wrote this it was such a long time ago and was only a noob writer. It won't happen any more.If I had any comments about this is that you are jumping things forward very very quickly. Even just ignoring that you went from basically birth to 2 or 3 years old, I just don't understand why you didn't skip those parts entirely and just mention them. For example, there is absolutely nothing gained paragraph starting from the moment he first opens his eyes to the first time skip. It could have easily just been mentioned after starting from the point where he was training. It would be one thing if it was a series of smaller skips that mention things that are somewhat notable while leading up to something more major, like him starting training but mentioning figuring out the language if it's different or learning to walk or the names of the people around him and what not. Either way, this does seem like it could be interesting so I'm looking forward to what you do with this.
Yep, I wrote Gol D Roger, but then remembered that everyone called him Gold Roger, even in the flashback with Whitebeard and all that. Still though, I rewrote it as Gold Roger.he is Gold D Roger but the NPCs don't know him, they only know him as Gold Roger
The difference between him and xianxia is that he will actually do the murdering. He will also make it very public too, he will need to make an example out of them. A small pirate group like Luffy's can be held together easily, but a pirate group with thousands of people also needs to fear their leader to stay in line. It is the logical conclusion, and his harem members aren't really that important either way, none of them are some strong hidden mistress or anything like that. They are all normal.... and boring... so it would be useless to explain them. What is important about them are the children they give the MC.not gona lie, the whole: I will kill any child born from someone cheating on me and their entire family, and i will breed my own army do put me of abit.
i mean, banish, sure, but the 3 generations bullcrap makes it sound like he is a world noble or cultivator.
seemed to have potential at the start, but every timeskip he seems more and more as a fairly poor wishfullfilment OC. there have not been any deatails in the storry for several chapers now, just the OC going "And then i made a harem, because i am awesome, and they loved me and where superpretty (but i will not describe ANYONE of them or how i met them, they are background supermodel harem, not actual characters), or i would kill them and their family, soo everyone loves me super hard since i killed everyone else..."
don't get me wrong, i do like my piece of wishfullfilment and xanxia story, but they do need to be a story and not a list of wishfullfilment.