All right. I have a world with 200 years of approximate history where it diverges from our own and I've had the world in my mind for a good 5 or so years. My main thing is that I don't want it to turn into a thing like Bloodborne -- I don't want the story to become about how the setting came to be, even though the story leads to uncovering vast conspiracies and does unveil stuff that, if revealed to the rest of society would be catastrophic. But it's more like... the main character just starts learning the connections she has to these events...
Okay actually thank you for letting me talk to myself. I've figured out what my problem was. The problem with Bloodborne was that there wasn't any forward goal or potential future for the setting. It was dead. Done. My setting has a future and a fight for that future so I think I was angsting over a non-issue.
The only work I need to do now before I start REALLY writing is I need to set up a sort of bestiary thing for my own made up terminology regarding ghosts.
My best description of the premise is currently "bureaucratic military-organized modern day Witchers." Except it is really a lot more complex than that. My big holdup has been doing my best not to info-dump too much. I'm gonna list at the end of this the stuff that should have been picked up on by the end of this snip and I'd like if someone told me if they picked up on those facts.
So, uh, here's part of the first chapter of the first book of
Paranormal Marionette.
"About time he proposed. How long's it been? Three years?"
The driver snorted and as the light turned green, she hit the gas. "Five, actually," she corrected.
"Five, huh?" Her partner, Linda, mused, relaxing back in her seat. It took a few moments for the other shoe to drop. She bolted up straight, eyes wide. "Wait,
five? You mean… the both of you… while we were still in school…?!"
A smirk reached Eliza's face, wiped away quickly as she returned her focus to the road. Traffic in Kiev was killer this week, likely because the senators were coming in to campaign with elections coming up. Wherever a senator went came the entirety of their retinue, and Kiev campaign festivals usually brought in considerable tourism. Great. That meant festival demonstrations and patrols on top of the already burgeoning workload.
"Yeah. We kept it discreet, though."
Linda, predictably, was having a small meltdown. "I mean... You would've been eighteen but...! How-- what-- did Anderson know?"
Eliza shook her head. "I think he had an idea, but you know him. Probably didn't care as long as we kept quiet. That, and Cecilia could have had a talk with him."
"His
mom was in on it?!" the brunette squeaked.
"Where do you think I went over the summer? Back to the Springs? Cecilia let me stay at her place."
Unbuttoning the top button of her uniform, Linda flopped back in her seat. "I need a drink. I can't believe you had an affair with your teacher -- living at his
house -- without me noticing."
The dark-skinned driver laughed, turning onto Dykans'kyi Lane, making it back into a district that managed to retain the original Ukrainian street names. These were never fun, what with her job forcing her to slowly adopt Enochian as a primary language. With Latin as a first and Ukrainian at a shaky second, three alphabets and a multitude of languages constantly shifting in and out of usage around her as she navigated the city, it was no surprise that the borders started to blur.
"It's not like we were doing anything -- oh, for crying out loud." She pulled to stop in front of some jerkwad's lousy parking job. The street was thin -- practically an alley -- and this guy had parked his car to take up enough room for two.
Eliza looked ahead, but no viable space was in sight. She shrugged and flexed a mental muscle. The offending white sedan lifted a centimeter or so off the ground and kindly slid over to make room.
Cracking her neck from the casual telekinetic strain, she brought the car in order to park parallel in the newly-opened spot.
After turning off the engine, she checked herself in the rearview mirror. A couple smoothed over lapels and hairflips later, she got out of my black, nondescript government issued car.
"Fix your uniform, Lin," Eliza reminded her as she locked the car behind them.
Lin's bright red lips pouted in protest but she did anyway, adjusting her mini-cape and making sure her tasteful crown of braids was in order before scooping up a worn out pink stuffed bunny and hugging it to her chest.
The house in front of us was an older number, a nice red brick three-story… at least, she thought it was three stories. The top window could just be an attic or some fancy sunroom shenanigans.
Eliza pushed open the gate and let Lin walk through before they approached the door. Her badge holder -- including her government certification and Lin's combat and communication license -- was in her hand before she rang the doorbell. "Guardsmen," she announced twice -- once in Ukrainian and again in Enochian -- loud and clear, enough so that any neighbors could make sure to keep their children inside or evacuate if they so choose.
A few moments passed, reaching almost a minute before she could hear the telltale sound of at least four locks and latches coming undone. A thin man opened the door, eyes sunken and searching as he peered out. "Y-Yes?"
Eliza showed him the badge and their papers, not that it did any better to ease his nerves to see the Imperial seal all over everything. She held back a sigh. "Mister Sewick, this is Guardsmen Medium Linda Sharp. I am Elizabetha Thompson, her attending Exorcist. We've received reports of a spiritual disturbance. May we come in?" It wasn't like she actually needed to ask permission -- in fact, they were typically advised to be as forceful and inquisition-like as possible -- but she didn't want to give the poor man a heart attack.
He nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes, please, my wife was just making tea," he stammered out, opening the door fully and letting the two of them in.
As he did, the mid-morning sun hit his pendant and made it shine. Eliza's golden gaze flicked to it and she couldn't stop her eyes from widening in recognition.
Sewick noticed and panic set in, his calloused hand reaching up to hide his rosary. "I-It belonged to my mother, I- I swear, I only keep it because--"
Damn it. If this was another call because someone saw a cross or some other Judeo-Christian symbol and mistook it for some sort of spooky scary spirit talisman, she was going to level the PR department. Keeping people frightened and aware was one thing, but wasting valuable time was a whole other matter. This wasn't the first time someone got scared about this sort of thing in front of her. She held up a pair of placating hands.
Unfortunately, Eliza didn't think that through. He flinched, stumbling back from her in fear. She'd already declared she was an Exorcist; of course he'd shy away from a hyper-powerful telekinetic raising their hands at him.
With no sudden movements, Eliza lowered her hands and stepped into the house far enough to let Lin close the door behind them. "Mister Sewick, I'm fully aware that your faith has nothing to do with the Lacuna. I had a traditional Christian upbringing, myself. Please, sir, the sooner we have your cooperation, the sooner we can resolve this issue."
The young Exorcist did her initial cursory scan, a little surprised to see faded areas on the wall, as if something had recently been removed. The shape made her think they kept crosses. Her heart sunk at the thought of people being so scared that they stripped precious keepsakes from their walls in fear of prosecution.
A new voice entered the conversation. "Oh, little cambion girl says she got raised properly. Where would someone like you get an upbringing like that?"
Mrs. Sewick had come in from the kitchen, tray of freshly brewed tea in her hands. She was rounder than her husband, but still almost shockingly thin. Eliza noted her aged visage showed light signs of the pox as her gaze bore down on the government official, her eyes locked on the nubby demon horns that grew from Eliza's forehead.
The half-demon's posture straightened. "Holy Springs, ma'am," she answered, ignoring the darker memories mentioning it brought. "Latin is my first language."
Mrs. Sewick turned her hard gaze towards Lin. "And what about you, girl? You don't look like you've got mixed blood."
Lin, who had already started snooping around and going into business-mode, ignored her and lifted a cloth from a pile of neatly stacked decorative crosses. "What kind of talismans are these? They don't have any spiritual charge."
Eliza pulled her charge away from the wall decorations. "Go put your nose to the ground somewhere else, Fido," she deadpanned, pushing her dazed partner in a different direction.
Lin wandered further into the house, whispering quietly to her stuffed rabbit.
Turning back to the Sewicks, Eliza held back the urge to sigh. Exorcists as powerful as her were rare, but that didn't exempt her from the less glamorous parts of the job. Citizens were, for the most part, kept in the dark and fed Agency-approved propaganda. Thus, as the attending Exorcist, it was her job to keep suspects and victims calm and comfortable while a Medium swept the area for anomalies. This included kissing as much ass and being as compliant as possible. "Excuse my partner; her trances tend to be a bit deeper than average," she apologized. "No, Guardsman Sharp is devoutly Alician. We're not sure what she is, but you can rest assured she is cleared for duty. My partner's case was handled personally by High Inquisitor Lee, so you can expect the pinnacle of excellence."
Mrs Sewick scowled. "I still want those
things out of here as soon as possible. We don't welcome spirits in this house."
The half-demon felt her teeth grind before she corrected her persona. "I assure you, my partner's Link is stable and well-tamed," She lied. Eliza allowed myself to partake in a cup of tea before shooing them out and assuming a stance in the center of the room. Granted, she didn't need to stand to meditate, but showing off every once in awhile did no harm.
Her feet rooted to the floor, tailbone dropping as she took several deep breaths.
She lifted her arms and slowly, slowly, brought her hands down to nest at her navel.
A flare of energy washed over her, a bit irritated.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," she said. "Do you feel something here?"
Annoyance. Confusion. Frustration.
"What? Is there something here or not?"
Irritation. Indignance.
"Are you telling me you don't know what it is?"
Agreement. Frustration. Indignance.
"Oh, the mighty spirit has finally been bested by one of its own. It is a dark day."
Caution. Exasperation. Suspicion.
That caught Eliza's attention more than her whining. "What do you suspect?"
Amusement. Anticipation. Thirst.
She suppressed a snort. "From you or the anomaly?"
Agreement. Amusement.
Amazing. Looks like the paperwork pile was going to be a mile high if this went where she expected it was. "You're the expert. Where do you want me? If it's going to poltergeist, you'll want me providing support on the physical plane."
Hesitation. Caution. Trepidation.
One foot in both sides until she figured out what was going on. Got it.
"What's Lin's opinion?" Had to make sure to get that second opinion when working with her Link spirit.
Dismissal. Annoyance. Eliza interpreted that as "we don't need your help."
I grinded my teeth. "Heart, patch her through."
Irritation. Hesitation. Compliance.
The sharp presence of Linda's Link gave way to a gentler, benign aura.
"Lin? Is she behaving?"
A mental yawn stretched through the connection. "Mmm? Oh. Yeah. This house is weird, Liz. Activate a Tether and step into the Lacuna side. I think Miss Heart is freaking out," Lin reported. "I think
I might be freaking out."
Miss Heart? Freaking out? Eliza could understand Lin freaking out. In fact, she was pretty sure that unless Lin was piss drunk she was always freaking out in some capacity. Painfully aware -- that was the phrase. But Miss Heart, one of the most vicious and bloodthirsty Link spirits on duty, losing her cool up against anything or anyone that wasn't Anderson? Something was up.
Eliza retrieved a short, rune-covered rod from her belt. A push of a button revealed a small needle which she jammed into her thigh, drawing blood. The runes glowed a radiant blue as she dropped the Tether to the floor where it remained upright. She tested it, kicking it lightly with a foot to knock it over. It righted itself immediately, vibrating with the strength of Eliza's aura.
The anchor was a bit weak for her standards, but it would suffice. She grabbed another length of rune-covered metal from my belt and flicked the switch, sending a needle into her thumb. Springs expanded the device into a glowing blue quarterstaff, about three-fourths her height.
The blood conducted spiritual energy along the staff, humming with power as she closed her eyes and stepped into the Lacuna.
Her stomach churned, nausea hitting before she even opened her eyes. It didn't get any better when she did.
"Oh, what the
fuck, guys."
Writhing tendrils replaced the walls and creeped along the crumbling stone floors, oozing and covering the floor with a layer of sticky black blood. The centerpiece of the whole scene was a man -- or what was left of him -- hanging from the ceiling by his limbs like some sort of horror game monster. His eyes were blank, white with only a black, hollow circle for his pupils. An inhumanly wide mouth hung open, the black ectoplasmic fluids falling from his face in streams and globs like some sort of ghost syrup.
The Sewicks' spiritual projections -- almost unsurprisingly at this point -- were strung up in the wall-tentacles, the filthy guck siphoning over their faces to leak into any hole it could find.
Lin was there, too, but instead of being tangled up she was futilely slicing through the tentacles with her giant, ornate scythe, trying to free the Sewicks from their prison. "I can't get them loose!" She shouted as she sensed her partner's presence. "Do your Exorcist thing!"
A shudder went through her whole body. Happy twenty-third birthday, Eliza, have a giant, ectoplasm-happy tentacle monster!
The condition of Lin's Link made Eliza do a double take. Goo had crusted over the massive blade's intricate details, more flowing over and adding to it with each effortless swing. Lin shouted in frustration, slamming the incongruously dainty weapon repeatedly into the muck until the suction proved too much. She pressed a foot against the wall for leverage and tried to pull it free, but the thin haft was too slick.
"Lin! Be careful!" Eliza called.
"I got it!" Lin retorted as she continued to tug.
The spirit turned its ponderous gaze towards the struggling Medium for a moment before carelessly swatting her aside with a tendril, slamming her into the opposite wall and integrating her into the teeming mass. The scythe faded, disintegrating back into its inactive form -- a stuffed rabbit -- and joining Lin in the sticky mess.
Eliza scowled. Lin was almost certainly uninjured, but now she'd lack backup for a hostile ghost.
"That hurt me," it groaned, words distorted by the waterfall of ghost goo. "You're mean." It returned its bizarre eyes to the remaining Guardsman. "What manner of spirit are you, Golden One?"
Eliza straightened her posture, assuming a military-trained stance. "I am Guardsmen Exorcist Thompson, sir, and I regret to inform you that your presence here is in violation of several Inquisitorial laws--" she didn't get to finish.
"Eeeexorcist? Guardsmen? Inquisition?" It echoed. It's face scrunched up. "Inquisition.
Inquisitor." Then it twisted, body contorting against its bindings with pain and fear.
It screamed, which wasn't quite the correct word. Roars ripped out from all sides, an exclamation of desperation and terror. For a moment, it was so intense that Eliza thought the Tether was going to pull her out.
"
You've been sent to kill me!" It bellowed.
Eliza tumbled away from the incoming tentacle, watching as it slammed into the space she had just vacated, sending black ichor flying and adding new cracks to the dilapidated floor.
"
I knew you'd come! She sent you, didn't she?"
She flipped back and evaded another strike, this time planting a hand on top of the slimy appendage and vaulting over, launching steel-toes boots into its face.
It howled as its face sizzled from impact.
Normally, such an attack would do very little, but knowing my tendency to kick ghosts into submission, she'd commissioned a pair of boots with runes etched into the hidden steel. The results could be easily viewed on this freak's bubbling face.
"It hurts! It hurts!
Maaaamaaaa!"
It wasn't rare for a violent spirit to call for their mamas, but it still gave Eliza pause every time...
... Which was why she failed to dodge when the next tentacle pinned her to the ground.
She swore as she felt something crack -- a rib, most likely -- and jabbed a small rune knife from her concealed wristband into the slimy flesh. It sizzled as the skin around the blade boiled, the tentacle recoiling away in pain.
Eliza tumbled back, ignoring the pain as bone grinded against itself. She swore again, swiftly and under her breath while she fumbled around her belt to find the right tool.
"Yoooouuu... I didn't see it before, but after tasting the Red One... You're both like me, aren't you?" It laughed, loud and disturbed enough to make the Exorcist pause and look. His face had twisted upward, stretching in an unnatural euphoria. "
Hooowww cruel and fitting!"
Another tendril came at her from the side, but this time she was ready and batted it away with her staff. The runes left marks like burns on the ectoplasm-covered hide, but the monster had stopped caring. Tendrils made grabs at her, only to get repelled by rune-marked bits of metal while she fought the larger appendages.
All it took was one slip on the slick floor to give it an opening. Tentacles wrapped around her body, squeezing tight and binding her arms to her sides. The rune staff went clattering to the floor, leaving Eliza unarmed.
The Exorcist reached out a mental muscle, snatching up the rod with her mind, but before it reached her a tentacle slammed down on top of it. It writhed in agony as the blessed metal seared it's wicked flesh, but it stayed out out of sheer willpower.
With a gurgling sound, the lump in the wall where Linda had been absorbed began to move upward. The lump came to a stop above the suspended spirit as a gargantuan mouth erupted from its back in a burst of black goop.
"I'm going to
eaaaaat you, little Exorcist. Then... I'll be
sooooo powerful...
Even she won't be able to kill me!"
Eliza stared at the thing in disbelief. It... It was actually serious?
In spite of the pain, she laughed.
It visibly was thrown off by this. "What--"
A flash of red was the only warning it received before huge black blade swiped through and severed its support tendrils, causing the spirit to collapse down into its own piles of ectoplasmic goo.
"Trickery! No fair!
No fair!" It screamed.
Lin fell from the ceiling, landing firmly on the spirit's back with an audible squelch. Despite severe shortness of breath, she brought her scythe down to pin the spirit to the ground.
The room's constant motion had ceased now that the ghost had disconnected from his limbs. Eliza retrieved her rune staff and approached it, flipping the weapon so the rune-laden end faced the spirit's head. With the flick of a wrist, an audio recorder floated up into her hand. "If you would kindly state your name for filing purposes."
"Go fuck yourself, demon whore," it moaned.
She frowned. "Casper Doe, then. Technically humanoid, but clearly Grudgekin. Emophage." She nodded to Lin.
Lin's scowl deepened as she swung her blade, the spirit disintegrating the moment the reddish-black metal passed through its neck.
"Exorcised," Eliza concluded, flicking the switch on the recorder.
They dropped out of the Lacuna, falling back into the Sewicks' living room. Furniture and trinkets were flung all across the room -- a consequence of the spirit poltergeisting. The couple was nowhere to be seen, but if they survived, they would see a marked increase in their quality of life now that they no longer had a spirit feeding off their emotions.
Lin looked up. "That was the opposite of fun."
Eliza grimaced. She hadn't expected it to be strong enough to land a hit on her -- let alone on Lin. Plus, all that drivel about the three of them being the same rubbed her wrong. Of course, spirits were known to spout nonsense, sure, but this...
The Exorcist coughed and the pain reminded her of her broken ribs. Damn.
With help from her telekinesis, she peeled Lin off the floor.
"Ugh, my head--"
"Shh, you have Advil in the car."
Lin staggered to her feet, Miss Heart clutched at her side. Thankfully, her glasses had survived this incursion. "I don't need Advil, I need alcohol. A lot of alcohol."
Here's what I tried to get across in this:
- Christianity is no longer the major religion in the world and is treated much the way that Islam is our world. There's a whole new religion instead.
- Eliza is black. She's also cambion -- half-demon -- and this is not an abnormal thing for people to be.
- People are scared of the government, but mostly of ghosts.
- Lin has some really huge problems
That's about it. Other than the fact that there's a separate plane called the Lacuna where most ghosts dwell and they can indirectly influence mortals through it. Thank you if you read this far. I'm super grateful.
