OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

Then I know what my purpose for being here is.

 

The Return of Darkwing in the Franxx.

"Hey," said the young lady he had adopted. "I want more meat and potatoes."

"You've had more than enough for a single dinner," Drake told her. "You'll gain weight!"

"I'm a very active person. I'm still hungry."

"Zero Two, we're on a budget, and your job as a giant mech pilot is kind of underpaid."

"Not my fault, they make me pay for all the expenses for all of my Darlings killed in battle!"

"Maybe you should be more careful with them!"

"Dad," she said, "you know that I get to know people by smelling them, right?"

"What does that have to do with this, Zero Two...?"

"The first moment I smelled you," she said, "I thought you smelled like a delicious duck meal."

He blinked, and then used his spoon to push his meat and potatoes from his plate to hers.

 

Return of Darkwing in the Franxx, II.

"You spend too long inside," Drake said, gently pushing her outside. "Why don't you go play with your new friends for a while?"

"They aren't my friends and they are too young for it," Zero Two said.

Drake frowned at her.

She raised her hands. "But if you want me to, I suppose I can do it!"

"Atta girl!" He smiled.

So now she sat on the grass of that park with Lena and Webby while Violet adjusted her telescope.

"Astronomical exploration is a very fascinating subject," Violet said. "Who knows what kind of mysteries the universe still hides from us..."

Zero Two raised a hand lazily and began pointing at areas of the nocturnal sky. "Klaxonsaurus. Evronians. Apokolis. Frieza Empire. Deviluke. Shi'ars. Jurai. Skrulls."

They looked at her.

"All of them hostile to some level, warmongering and armed beyond this world's defenses. The only thing that has been stopping any of them from coming into this puny Solar system and taking over is they are too busy facing each other."

They kept on looking at her.

Then Webby somehow wrapped all of them in a strong hug. "Wheeee! Good thing they aren't bestest of friends like we are!"

"You are a very weird girl..." Zero Two told her.

 

Return of Darkwing in the Franxx, III.

"It's time to get dangerous," Drake said, heading towards the sofa and the secret tunnel under it. "Quackerjack has been sighted, and the LAW demands for Darkwing Duck!"

Zero Two yawned, resting crosslegged on the couch and going through her phone. "Have fun."

"You better not follow me, Zero Two! Quackerjack is one of the most insane and aggressive foes we have faced! You aren't ready for him!"

"That's the lame duck in Harley Quinn drag, isn't he? Pass," the girl said.

"You won't trick me with such subpar acting! I know what you are planning! I forbid you from following me in a homemade superhero costume, although I appreciate your willingness to help!"

"That isn't my kind of action," she waved a hand at him. "Go, go! Don't worry, if hungry I'll call for pizza!"

He blinked and then dragged his steps the rest of the way.

---

Hours later, he sat on top of a tied Quackerjack while Launchpad consoled him.

"She didn't come! She doesn't care about me!"

---

Zero Two looked at the clock. "That idiot sure is taking long. Five minutes more and I'll need to pull the stupid suit out."

 

"Kotaro and I have been invited to a signing ceremony in the Neo Ostian Market," the adult Negi said as he walked into the room. "Chisame, Ai-san, Konoka, Asuna, Tsukuyomi, I want you to come with us."

"Why specifically us?" Asuna asked.

Negi sighed. "They are after you, so I would be more confident if we were by your side as much as possible. And we are going to be targets out there so I want our best healer at hand. Of course, a healer is also a need here, so I have to leave Yue, who is the second best of us at those tasks."

"But, but, not that I want to dispute your leadership, Sensei, but why me?" Ai said.

Negi smiled. "Itoshiki-sensei might come! Don't you want to see him again?"

Ai blushed and lowered her gaze. "O-O-Of course I'd like to see him again! Thank you, Sensei! Sorry for loading you with my desires!"

"It's nothing," Negi shook a hand at her. "These outings are what I pay you for, Tsukuyomi, so..."

"And you don't want me staying here with the soft targets without your protection, there is that as well," Iwai yawned, flipping through her romance novel. "You don't need to apologize."

"Why are you like that?" Negi slapped his own leg. "Why the need to be so cynical all the time?!"

"I'm just saying the truth and everyone knows it." Tsukuyomi shrugged.

The others looked in different directions, frowning.

Negi sighed. "As for you, Chisame, I know that you won't let me leave you behind..."

Chisame scoffed out a corner of her mouth.

"Neither will I!" Louise said.

"Okay, but if you go I'll call Kirche-san and tell her to come along as well," Negi answered.

Louise bristled. "You better never turn your back on me during our honeymoon!"

"Why do you even have to go at all?" Yuuna asked. "Any of us walking into the city can just ask in the arena and head here, or simply call us with the cards!"

"You are friends with Makie," Yue said. "You should know better than any of us that she might not think about that."

"I wouldn't be shocked if Keiichi's dumb enough to forget about those options either," Skuld muttered.

"Don't understimate our friends that much!" Negi said. "But yes, even leaving that aside, we cannot allow ourselves to skip these ceremonies too much. Kotaro and me are local celebrities right now, and if we start avoiding them, Ostians would get suspicious!"

"And you're hating every moment of it," Rito said.

"Not gonna lie, all the free food we get is a cool deal," Kotaro, also adult sized, said while eating his hamburger. "Never heard you complaining when we bring you some!"

Rito closed his mouth, defeated. "Hmmmmm...!"

And so, the next day, Nagi, Kojiro, Tsukuyomi, Loli Asuna, Loli Chisame, Loli Konoka and Loli Ai sat at a stand in the market, with a very long line of fans standing before them, amidst loud music and excited chatter.

"Oh, Mr. Nagi!" a really ugly girl with braces said, shoving a big poster before him. "Please sign this for me!"

Negi smiled happily. "What's your name? For the dedication, I mean."

Chisame yawned to herself. "This is sooooo boring..."

"I want to go home home already," an extremely squirmy Konoka spoke, sitting on the lap of the smirking Tsukuyomi. Yomi's hands were firmly set on her shoulders, and Konoka was antsier than ever before since Kyoto.

"Mr. Nagi, why are you and Kojiro always surrounded by little girls?" the next fan asked. "Are... the rumors... true?"

Negi blinked. "Which rumors?"

"You know the ones about... uhhhh... forget I said anything!" the fan laughed nervously, just remembering that this man could destroy a large city block with a kick.

"They aren't groomers, we are just their little sisters," Chisame said blandly. "Seriously, you know what they always say about our dad Nagi."

Negi blinked again. "Groomers? What's th-"

"Honestly, Dear Brother, you are too adorably naive for an adult man...!" Chisame said loudly.

The fan paused. He looked down at Chisame for a moment and said "'Kay..."

A woman who stood right behind this fan looked up over his shoulder. "Then the other rumor is the fact after all?"

"Which other rumor?" Kotaro asked.

She laughed. "You know, the one about you two being lovers!"

Kotaro and Negi began coughing violently.

The woman laughed again. "I'll take that as a yes! Don't worry, we won't tell anyone about it!"

Kotaro slammed a hand down on the desk, blushing. "As if! That vile lie will be in the front page of Sorcerers Weekly tomorrow!"

"'scuse me!" Tsukuyomi said. "As Nagi's bodyguard and enforcer, I can tell you that they aren't lovers in the slightest!"

Negi smiled and nodded. "Thank you. That's very-"

"Because after years of working and traveling together, Nagi and I have fallen in love and will be marrying as soon as we decide on an exact date!" Tsukuyomi chirped. "You can put THAT exclusive on Sorcerers Weekly right tomorrow!"

The crowd cheered and exploded into whoops and coos while flashes shone everywhere. Negi blanched. Chisame facepalmed. Kotaro only blinked several times. Unwilling to believe what he had just heard. Konoka made a pained face, and then bopped her head upwards to hit Tsukuyomi in the jaw. Tsukuyomi only laughed it off. For once Ai looked merely oblivious to any of them, looking across the crowd and searching for Itoshiki with her eyes.

Then a deep male voice spoke over all others, quiet but somehow overcoming all of the noise in the gigantic building. "Well, young lady, first Mr. Springfield will have to talk with us for a while."

Everyone looked at the gates of the door, where now stood a smiling man with glasses and wearing an expensive gray suit. He was surrounded by a dozen of tall guards in battle armor and carrying spears.

"Sorry to intrude," this man said smoothly. "But we are on an official business, and I must ask all of you but those at the stand to leave immediately. For those not in the known, I am Kurt Godel, Governor, and Mr. Nagi's party is to submit itself to questioning on the subject of Negi Springfield."

 

Negi stood up and bowed. "The governor himself has come to see us! What an honor."

"Well, you have just defeated the legendary Jack Rakan from Ala Rubra," the man said. Asuna paid attention. He was kind of handsome. "And you did it while employing what seems to be an ancient and extremely rare forbidden technique. I wanted to question you about it."

Negi perked up. Tsukuyomi's mouth tightened. "What do you mean, Sir?" asked the former.

The guards were herding the attendants out. The crowd was puzzled and mostly unhappy but none of them dared to protest.

"While watching the battle," Godel explained, "I saw you about to burst into what were unmistakable fits of dark energy induced augmentation. The stress of having to keep up with Jack clearly pushed you near a breaking point. It could have been dangerous to the audience!"

"Those who have undergone such forbidden procedures need to be questioned by Ostian authorities lest they turn into a collective menace!" the lead guard explained, slamming the doors after the last attendant.

Rakan didn't tell us anything about that! Why that stupid geezer! Kotaro prepared to fight.

"What does that have to do with Negi Springfield?" Chisame asked evenly.

"That is another, separate cause," Godel told them. "We have compared your photos to those of Negi Springfield's accomplices and found similarities..."

"Most of us are family," Chisame made a shrug. "It's kept a secret of our lineage, but most of those kids are children of Nagi-papa, too!"

"A very decadent affair," Tsukuyomi said.

Godel smiled, pushing his glasses up. "Then you won't mind accompanying us and allowing for blood tests, will you, oddly eloquent small child?"

"I'm just a prodigy like Papa," Chisame tried to stall. Come on Negi, think of something...

The Governor whistled innocently. "Then you can help us locate your rogue siblings before any of them hurt themselves, or others, even moreso."

"How long would that interrogation last?" Negi asked.

"Several hours, and we will need to contact the rest of your entourage as well," Godel said. "But that only would be an issue if you happened to be under the influence of age altering chemicals. Wouldn't it?"

The door was blocked by the guards and Ai realized that the wall behind them had no walls, doors, or any additional escape ways. She and Konoka traded looks.

"How is this alleged black technique I am accused of using called?" Negi asked. "I have studied your laws and I know that I'm entitled to have all of the exact charges behind our preventive detention stated before calling a lawyer."

"Magia Erebea," Godel said.

What?! Kotaro thought. Only Eva and Negi can use that! Not even the old wiseguy achieved mastery! Can this four eyes read minds like Neechan?!

"No, I can't read minds, your expressions are simply too easy to interpret, Inugami-san," the Governor replied.

"..." Kotaro said.

"We haven't ever run into a Magia Erebea user before, other than Dark Evangeline," Godel pulled an old magazine out, open at a swimsuit centerfold of Evangeline grinning. "But thirty years ago she was interviewed for Sorcerers Weekly in this article titled 'All the Details about my Secret Technique that you'll Never Achieve, so I'm Unbeatable, Flee in Horror!' To this day we are unclear on whether whe wanted to demoralize or arouse Mundus Magicus. Probably both."

"I have a question about that-" Konoka said.

Godel interrupted her. "We have all manners of publications from decades ago in the event they become relevant. Of course, any record of Dark Evangel's activities has to be kept in our archives."

"A simple 'I read it for the articles' would have sufficed," Iwai said.

"Enough!" Godel said, giving a single clap. "Will you be coming out of your own will or not?"

Negi sighed. "I don't wish to oppose the law and order. I will accompany you since I have nothing to hide..."

Then one of the guards shot an anti-magic dart at him from under a sleeve with a tiny crossbow. Negi reverted with a pop to a child, with clothes that were too big and loose on him.

Chisame slammed her face on the desk. Konoka whined. Ai discreetly slipped aside, pulling a pair of kunai from under her shirt. Tsukuyomi pulled her blades out. Asuna reached for her alliance card.

"There is a perfectly sound and logical explanation, promise! Please hear me out!" Negi said.

The guards rushed at him. Kotaro and Tsukuyomi sighed and jumped ahead to meet them before they could reach him.

 

Still untitled. Will threadmark if I ever think of the title.

---

Prologue:

Negi Springfield woke up in the bed of the Mahora Academy infirmary, looking upwards at the ceiling.

"What happened, were we attacked?" he asked tiredly. Around his bed sat Hasegawa Chisame, a sniffling Yukihiro Ayaka with swollen eyes, and an apparently bored Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell.

"You 'only' overworked yourself to exhaustion again, moron," Chisame said angrily. "We have decided that you're going to take a vacation already!"

"Hasegawa is right, Boya, you are straining yourself way too much," Eva said languidly. "You aren't a Magia Erebea immortal, when you don't have the technique active you are still vulnerable to physical stress!"

"Don't be harsh with him!" Ayaka said, leaning to hug the boy's torso. "He's doing this for everyone's sake!"

"Everyone's told him he doesn't need to, Skuld, freaking Reed Richards and hundreds of others are working on that project!" Chisame snapped.

The tiny vamp yawned like a spoiled cat. "And you're doing it badly anyway, Boya. Your mind's not focused on your work."

The red haired Welsh stared at her. "You should sympathize with me better than anyone. You aren't worried about Father after all? The sooner we set solid foundations for Blue Mars, the sooner we can work on freeing him!"

"Blue Mars will take years to start running, no matter how hard you push yourself," Mc Dowell said. "Actually, if you kill yourself, it'll only stall it all that much longer!"

Negi sighed and pushed himself to a sitting position on the mattress. "That only shows that I'm necessary to the project. I can't slack away."

"No. You want us to call you for what you are?" Chisame pushed a hand on his chest. "You're a symbol, above all things! But you don't have the scientific formation to design the elevator, you don't have the public recognition to speak for the project, and you are just too much of a pushover to impose it upon the governments! You only happen to be the heir of a long dead royal house who is still ten years old!"

"Eleven," Negi said bitterly.

"Don't get smart with us," Chisame wagged her finger at him.

Negi reached for a robe and began buttoning it around his bare upper half. He only wore light gray pants. "I'll keep on studying about the engineering needed for the schematics. If I could master Master's ultimate achievement in days, I can do this too!"

"I'm sure you can, Sensei, but you'll hurt yourself even further," Ayaka said, gently pinning him down by his shoulders. "Consider this an intervention."

He looked at her. "You too, Ayaka?"

"I may not agree with Chisame and Eva-san's manners but they are right at their cores!" the heiress said.

Negi closed his eyes. "This so-called vacation, how long would it take?"

"Only a few days here but several months where we are going," Chisame said. "Time runs differently there, as Emiya-senpai saw."

He glared at her, not harshly, only wearily like no child his age should. "We are going there? Aren't they at the middle of something even more pressing and demanding than what we have here, Chisame?"

"Currently not, that's why Emiya-senpai returned to begin with," Ayaka said.

"They have just wrapped handling a crisis and have rebuilt the headquarters they were kicked outta for a time," Chisame said. "Couldn't have been anything huge, they had lost some belts, and then ran around in a tank until they took care of- Listen, what matters is you have a peaceful place where to rest until you're better, awright!?"

"And in the event something too dangerous happens we can Rayshift back here just as quickly," Ayaka said. "They don't need our help, they are most of mankind's most powerful warriors!"

"I don't like that idea," Negi said.

"Nekane already approved it, and as your legal caretaker, her word on the issue is not debatable, not even by you!" Chisame said.

Negi blinked. "Ah..." he said at last. "I suppose that, if Nekane tells me to, I cannot object her..."

Even Ayaka didn't look convinced at this attitude shift.

"You don't believe me?" Negi said.

"Anya has told us that you often would agree in public to obey Nekane's instructions, then you would go and do the dangerous things she warned you against behind everyone's backs," Chisame said.

"Which, as much as I hate admiting, fits with your behavior since you arrived to us!" added Ayaka.

"Well, it's not like you can oppose it this time, Boya," Evangeline said. "These airheads will take you there, even if they have to tie you up and drag you through the Antarctic!"

Negi smiled for the first time in several days.

"Ohhhhhh, you think you can sneak your way out!" Chisame said. "Nah, you can find ways to beat Sextum and every other insane criminal in Mundus Magicus, but you cannot tame 3-A and you know that by now!"

Negi winced.

"It won't be bad at all, Sensei!" Ayaka ruffled his hair. "Chisame-san, Pink Spore-san, Asakura-san, Tsunetsuki-senpai and I will be there with you!"

Negi blinked once more. "Asakura-san? What an unexpected name."

Chisame shook her head. "She's got those days available, she's relatively reliable compared to most of the others, and she asked very very hard to be taken there."

Evangeline grinned. "She's really steamed at being left out of your trip to Mundus Magicus, and she doesn't want to miss another chance!"

Negi actually rested back on his pillow. "It's not that I mind her company, or any of yours, but..."

"This is too sudden?" Chisame completed the sentence.

"It's a prologue, it cannot be too long or the readers will be bored. Just enough to set the premise," Eva added.

Negi facepalmed. "Thanks regardless for not throwing your two cents in, Matoi. It must have been difficult for you to resist the temptation of joining Chisame's overpowering of my objections."

"Ah!" Matoi said. "You noticed I was here?"

"Yes, always..."

---

Skuld and Rito left them in the snow, a pair of blocks of distance apart from the Chaldea complex, and then peaced out

Chisame could swear she had caught a satisfied smile on Rito's face when he left them there, but she was sure it was only because of Negi so she wouldn't hold it against him. Not a lot. She was content enough when she heard Skuld slapping and insulting him over a grope while transporting away, after all.

They trudged through the white landscape, with Chamo sitting on Negi's head. Despite their thick fur coats- artificial fur, Nana had insisted and Chachamaru agreed- the cold was almost unbearable. "I'd never felt a temperature this low before," Chisame said, teeth clicking over and over.

Kazumi forced a smirk. "Ah ha ha, you obviously have never been to one of my family reunions! Ah, who am I trying to kid, my panties feel like they're full of icicles..."

"If you regret coming here," Ayaka began, "then you always can-"

"I regret nothing!" Kazumi said.

"I told you this was a bad idea," Negi said, even as they went up the front steps of the front gates. "And God knows what will Tsukuyomi do while we are here..."

"If she needs you at her side the whole time to be relatively calm then she isn't ready for rehabilitation at all," Ayaka opined, hugging her own upper half. "Relax, please! Hunt-san is there to quiet her down, and if that fails, Setsuna-san can take her."

"And then there's Lala-san, and-" Matoi said, being interrupted when the giant doors were slid open from the inside. "Never mind that now."

Negi, despite his weariness, smiled at the girl standing in front of them, also with a small white furry creature sitting on her head. "Miss Kyrielight," he told her. "Glad to see you again."

"Likewise," the short haired beauty with glasses nodded. Only once. Chisame had barely gotten to know her, during that brief and highly confused span they dropped by during the Mahorafest, but she could tell immediately that she was a changed person. Much like Negi, she had clearly seen a lot of stuff recently. "Please come in. You must be freezing."

"Now that you say it..." Matoi said, walking in with the others, and shaking some snow off herself. "You're all there is of the welcome committee, Mash-san? Where is Kiyohime-sama?"

Mash sighed, turning around and walking down the widest corridor. They followed her, while Fou only sniffed the air in their general direction.

"We are settling in. We just regained control of these facilities after the Crypters took over them, destroying most of them in the proccess," Mash said. "Emiya-san told you about the Crypters, right?"

"Sort of, but he isn't the best explainer," Ayaka pulled her hood down. "So are all of your colleagues busy at the moment?"

As they turned a corner, they passed by a snoring small girl splayed on the floor, hugging a very big empty sake bottle. "Not all of them," Mash said.

Louise blinked at the long and tall black horns on that girl's forehead. "Ahhhh, Negi. You haven't introduced me!"

Negi slapped his own forehead. "I am such a moron! Mash-san, this is Francoise le Blanc de la Valliere. She is-"

Louise smiled smugly. "His fiancee!" she said.

Ayaka growled. "On highly debatable grounds!"

"She is a noble from Mundus Magicus, so it's natural that she would have friction with a noble from our world," Asakura said. "And with the nobles from her own world, and with commoners and peasants such as us from either world, and... you can see where this is going, can't you?"

Louise glared at her.

Mash half smiled, almost looking like the girl Chisame had seen back then. "Good to see things haven't changed around you too much, Professor Negi."

"Bro here literally dropped from the sky on her and they met with an accidental kiss and Pactio," Chamo chuckled. "By the way, what's with Fou? He seems less... communicative now."

"It's a very long story. We should discuss it over your meal," Mash said. When she reached a certain door at a certaiin point, not even close to the end of the corridor, she knocked on it, and a familiar person opened it, greeting the entourage with a polite bow. Mash bowed back at the tanned man with white hair, wearing a black and red outfit with a white Piyo apron over it. "The meal is ready? Thank you, Nameless-san. Professor, girls, this is Nameless-san of the Archer class, one of our best saboteurs, snipers and cooks."

Matoi, Chisame and Ayaka leaped back, readying their Artifacts. "You!" they said as one.

Louise blinked. "Ah?"

Negi shook his head. "Girls, please, this is another Archer hailing from the same person, summoned by Chaldea and with no memories of us."

"Oh, so you once met this man and you were enemies?" Louise asked Kazumi.

Asakura shrugged. "I didn't get to learn too much about the Grail War since some individuals who will go unnamed kept me apart from it, but my understanding is that Negi-kun's crew ran afoul of several Masters and Servants before it was over, even without counting Mash-san's estranged team."

Louise hummed. "Well, if those were enemies of Ayaka and the stalking creature they cannot be all that bad!"

"What you said is almost assuredly true, Young Man I Have no Recollection Of," the Archer said, graciously stepping aside and gesturing at them to walk into what was a large dinning room with a small kitchen at its other end. A full table was served with plenty of pleasantly smelling banquet plates. "I'm but a warrior of Chaldea, why would I have any memories from a random Servant summoned by another Master in any other War somewhere else in this omniverse?"

Chamo, Matoi, Chisame and Ayaka still eyed him warily.

Negi blinked at the plates. "Those are our favorite foods," he told Archer. "How did you know about our favorite foods?"

"I'm drawing a blank. Maybe it's a coincidence," Archer said. "I think I opened the cookbook at a token page and prepared what was there."

"I don't think anyone's gonna buy that, sorry," Asakura said. "I mean, you have even my souffle there! Just like Mom used to make it!"

Archer scratched himself on a cheek. "Perhaps the Masters told me about them, although I don't recall clearly."

"Did we ever tell any of you about our favorite foods?" Asakura asked Mash.

"I don't think you ever did," Mash said.

"I'm sure I never did," Chisame said.

"Just sit down and start it before it gets cold!" Nameless growled.

Quickly, they did so.

 

They left their travel bags on the floor, around the table, as they ate.

Louise's eyes shone as she chewed in awe. "This is delicious! If you are ever released from this task, Monsieur Archer, you may come to cook for my family! Father is a gourmet and a good meal is one of the few things that can ease Mother down."

"That's actually the best offer I've been given since I arrived here," the dark skinned man said, pouring enormous glasses of icy juice for each. "Who knows? If up to me, I might take it."

"Himemiya-senpai ate this way every day?" Ayaka marveled too. "No wonder she was sad to let her Archer go!"

"It reminds me of the taste of someone else's food," Chisame pondered, "but I can't say exactly who."

"Then both Fujimaru siblings are on a rest leave?" Asakura was asking Mash. "The girl looked like the tireless type from what I could see of her."

"The Lostbelts were taxing on everyone," Mash said, feeding Fou some mashed potatoes. "But Senpai and Senpai aren't truly experienced fighters and it was harder on them than on anyone else. Nightingale has them under relaxation surveillance for at least half a month. Let's hope there's no need for them in the meantime."

"This is a lesson workaholic knuckleheads everywhere should learn," Chisame mused.

Negi huffed. "Unlike the Fujimaru twins, and no offense to them, Miss Kyrielight, I was trained on my mission since my early childhood."

"Gilgamesh is Gilgamesh and he once died from doing an exces of paperwork," Mash said.

Someone else barged in. "I heard you'd come, so I came here as soon as Anchin-sama fell asleep and Nightingale kicked me out! Matoi-chan!"

"Kiyohime-sama!" Matoi sprang up and ran to meet her with a hug.

They stepped back from each other, bopped fists, girlishly turned their hands over their own heads, locked pinkies, and bowed at each other.

"Special Deep Loving Salute!" they giggled.

"Oh dear! It only lacks Juvia! The Terrible Trio!" Louise said.

"I had forgotten how scary they are together!" Chisame said.

Kiyohime bowed to them now. "Pleased to see you once again, Professor, Matoi-chan's beloved, and the Professor's assorted fanclub!" She looked at Louise. "You must be a new addition to his numbers?"

Louise sighed. "I am the La Valliere heiress, Louise. Negi's true future wife."

"I thought that was Suzushiro-san?" Kiyohime smiled from behind a sleeve.

"She only ranks as a lover at best!" Louise roared.

"How are Queen Marie Antoinette, Mordred and Tamamo-san, Kiyohime-san?" asked Negi.

"They were massacred in the Chinese Lostbelt, or that's what I'd like to say!" Kiyohime waved her fan. "Don't worry, they'll be here soon enough!"

Marie walked in, and waved a hand up. "What's up, my homies!"

Kiyohime growled. "When will I learn not to summon evils?"

"Ah! The legendary Queen of France!" Louise rushed to fall to a knee before her, grabbing her hand. "It's a honor, Milady! I am friends with a Queen myself, and Henrietta has always styled herself after you!"

Marie blinked. "Oh goodness. That is nice to hear, but... who are you exactly?"

"She says she's Professor Negi's one future wife," Kiyohime pointed at the boy.

"I thought that was Mademoiselle Suzushiro?" Marie asked.

"She's not!" Louise said.

"One must say this for the Vice President. She has a very good publicity sense," Kazumi told her classmates.

"RRRRRRR!" Ayaka said.

"Excuse me. I'll be cooking more for the rest of you and doing my best to ignore your collective inane prattle," Nameless turned around and went back to the kitchen.

"I don't even like cooking, but..." Chisame began to get up to go after him. Matoi kept her in place grabbing her by the back of the blouse.

Marie laughed, sitting with the others. "Marvelous! I was told the Professor would visit us, but I wasn't told he'd bring so many lovely companions with him! You'll cheer us up a lot, a need since our Masters are sidelined for the moment! Bravo, everyone!"

She snapped her fingers. "D'Eon! Wolfgang! Sit down with us so we may have fun, will you?"

An androgynous beauty and a highly exotic bishounen with pale features appeared at each side of Marie, sitting down next to her.

"As you say, Your Highness!" they said.

Even Matoi pulled back. "Ah! You were here, and all of that?"

"You must be Kiyohime's acolyte, and you must be Professeur Springfield," the shorter companion lowered their head. "Thank you for looking after our queen back then!"

"This is Chevalier D'Eon, one of the crown's best agents," Marie explained, placing a hand on D'Eon's head. Chamo squirmed. "And this is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, a very good friend and history's greates musician!"

"Suck on that, Beethoven," Mozart said in a very low but proud voice.

Louise clapped. "Oh, this is a dream come true! Please play something for us, Monsieur Mozart! If that's not asking for-"

Mozart extended an open hand at her. "With pleasure, as soon as the fee is paid, Mademoiselle."

Louise blinked. "Fee?"

"Genius doesn't work for free, surely a lady of wealth like you should know that," Mozart said.

Louise felt her pockets up, then glanced at Ayaka. "Class Rep?"

The blonde sighed and pulled a card out. "Do you accept Master Cards here?"

Asakura whispered to Chamo, "Is this person a boy or a girl?"

"I dooooooon't know!" Chamo whispered back. "Sis, I wanna go take some fresh air...!"

 

"- and then we told him 'No, but we taught him to look for truffles'!" Marie said, breaking into a subdued version of the Ojou laugh.

D'Eon, Mozart, Louise and Ayaka laughed as well.

"Oh, Madame!" Louise said, delighted at the joke. "You are a charmer!" Then she glared ar the others. "Why aren't you laughing?"

"It's not a bad anecdote, but it loses a lot from French," Negi said.

"It's not blue collar humor," Matoi said.

"You should get used to it, Sensei," Chisame said, "since you're a prince."

Marie paused. "Wait. What?"

A tall and big breasted woman slammed the doors open. Archer retreated into his astral form.

"Ah, guys," Mash said. "This is Florence Nightingale, class Berserker, the Angel of Crimea."

Nightingale stomped towards them. "Miss Kyrielight, you know the protocol for new arrivals! Before anything else, they need to be cleansed rigorously!"

"How do you do, I'm Negi aaaahh!" Negi said, as the woman easily lifted him and Louise, slinging each on a shoulder like sacks.

"I just read your profile! Negi Springfield, Prince of Ostia, Magia Erebea yielder! You'll need to be subjected to testing later!" Nightingale said, grabbing Chisame by the back of her neck and starting to stalk out with her, Louise and Negi. "Black magic may be a safety hazard!"

Kiyohime began slipping away. But Nightingale stared back at her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm not a newcomer so..."

"You just were in direct contact with them! Eating with them, even!" Nightingale shouted. "You'll be sterilized as per regulations!"

"Kidnapping!" Louise screeched and kicked around.

Asakura chuckled. "Brings memories of Suzumiya-senpai, doesn't it, Iinchou?"

Ayaka grumbled as they followed the nurse. "How can you not laugh at the Queen's humor when you find this amusing?"

EMIYA remained in his astral form. He knew better than to rematerialize too soon.

Nightingale carried her captives to a large nursery bay near the lunchroom. She dropped Negi and Louise down and tightened her gloves. "Take your clothes off," she commanded.

"Eeehhh?!" Negi said.

"Who do you think you are?! You don't have a right to do this!" Louise said and hugged her own upper half.

"At least separate us from the men first!" Chisame pointed at Negi and Mozart.

Nightingale grabbed Negi again and yanked his shirt off. "In the time you waste with frivolities any virus or bacteria you brought might spread through our facilities! If you don't comply I'm authorized to expulse you!"

Mozart sighed and took his own shirt off, white flappy chest in display. He blindfolded himself with said shirt. "No need to worry about me, Your Majesty. You can count on my chivalrousy!"

Marie hummed. "Turn around, Wolfgang."

"There is no need for that, the cloth is thick and I shall not look under-"

"Please, Mozart!" D'Eon forced him to spin around, facing the wall.

"You have seen each other in the nude many times, that was in the information we were given!" Nightingale said, also tugging Negi's pants off.

"Not me!" Kazumi said. "So he sneezed on me a couple of times, but-!"

"How do you call yourself an adventurer being so uselessly modest!" Nightingale said, jumping on Louise and pulling her skirt down. "You should learn from your comrades in arms!"

Negi, sitting on the floor reduced to his socks and boxers, looked at Ayaka and Matoi and gasped. The two of them stood there fully naked.

Ayaka's face was red, one hand blocking her breasts, the other on her crotch. "I'm sorry, Sensei...! But I trust your discreetion now and ever!"

Matoi only cocked a fist on her own hip. "I'm elated to be naked in the company of Chisame-sama and Negi-sama. And I don't mind Kiyohime-sama either."

"It's a honor of sorts but I also feel offended!" the Japanese Servant growled at her. She spun on her heels at Nightingale. "Anchin-sama is the only man who can behold my nudity! The women I don't care about, but the men are a different matter, Sensei!"

"Seriously, not looking at all!" Mozart said, bending over to yank his boxers down his legs and also attempting to peek behind.

"Away with you, gross creature!" the disgusted Kiyohime kicked his pasty ass, pressing him against the wall.

"He just said it, he won't be looking," Nightingale said, finished with stripping the jerking pink haired girl snared by her arm. "As for the young boy, he is only a child!"

Kiyohime huffed at the embarrassed Negi, who tried to cover his eyes with his hands. "This child already had kissed more people than Anchin-sama when we met him, and he has only kissed many more since that time!"

Mash sighed, called forth her shield, and slammed it on the floor, with such vigor it was stuck there. She pushed Mozart and Negi at a side, then pulled the rest of ladies with herself on the other side. Only then she began taking her jacket off. "Will that be fine with everyone?" she asked.

"What about him or her?" Matoi gestured at D'Eon.

"I can be any gender!" D'Eon said easily. "Which one would you like?"

Matoi tossed him to the men's side.

"You are to be commended on such an ingenious arrangement, Miss Kyrielight," Nightingale approved. "Stand next to each other," she said, making them stand in line. She clapped. "Nemos!"

A quintet of small adorable androgynous people in white uniforms came by, holding a long hose each, and then turned the water on, starting to wash the already naked visitors and Servants with icy water.

"AAAAAA!" Asakura said. "Right when I was feeling warm!"

"T-This is nothing compared to wh-what we went through in the Magical World!" Ayaka said. "Y-You said you'd do almost anything f-for a story!"

"Why is he called a man?" Negi's voice came from the other side of Mash's shield. "He doesn't have a wee-wee!"

"I can generate one if you wish," D'Eon replied casually.

"DON'T OR I'LL GO THERE AND CUT IT OFF!" Louise threatened.

Then another woman entered the bay. "Ara ara," she placed a hand on her cheek. "Honestly, are you still washing them off, Sensei? You'll stall my job, since the Counselor is supposed to talk with them as soon as you are done with them!"

And she smiled, licking her lips as she looked at Negi. Negi screamed and covered his crotch again.

Mash bit her tongue. "Oh, geez! Sessyoin-sensei!"

 

The woman bowed as everyone toweled themselves dry. "Sessyoin Kiara, Chaldea's Guidance Counselor," she introduced herself.

Negi gulped. "Ah, nice to meet you. I'm Negi Springfield, and these are my friends Chamo, Chisame, Louise, Ayaka and Kazumi..."

"Am I a 'friend'?" Louise growled.

Negi gulped again. "Technically, Louise is my Master according to Merdiana Academy's laws as well... it's a rich story I'd be glad to-"

"Excuse me!" a foxy pink haired woman sang and skipped into the bay. "I heard that Kiyo-chan was naked and with at least three men!"

Kiyohime growled. "Tamamo..."

Another, and taller woman with light hair marched in after Tamamo. "I overheard on the arrival of a young boy and wanted to, um, observe him should he need for my blade of protection."

"Musashi!" Marie laughed.

Blackbeard came in. "I was passing by! Then I heard female yelps and-!"

He was hurled out of the room.

"But the girls were barging in just as much...!" he said, flying and then crashing on the wall.

"Hi, Tamamo-sama," Ayaka bowed. "It's been a while."

"Oh, so you didn't bring Asuna along!" the fox said. "She's a fun person..."

"You have enough of those here!" Louise said while Nightingale examined her eyes.

"How's the wolf doing?" asked Tamamo. "And Natsumi-chan? Mana-san? Ku-chan? Akira-san?"

"All of them fine," Matoi said. "It's Sensei here who needs some rest and relaxation."

"You came to the correct place then!" Tamamo said without irony, as around them, crowding the room, gathered a curious Enkidu, Nursery Rhyme, Bunyan, Medb, Iskandar, Tristan, Bedivere, Gareth, and Gawain. "You won't even notice we're here!"

"Maybe Negi-sama was right," Matoi said.

"No, this is still better than Mahora," Chisame said.

"Would you mind?" Kiara waved at the rest of Servants. "There's a counseling scheduled for these youngsters as soon as Nightingale is done with them!"

"I'll run it for you," Medb said. "Have you all had sex? No? Well, then you should!"

Kiara seethed. "That's how you would run it!"

"You would use more elaborate sophisms but otherwise it'd be the same," Enkidu said. "At least she's honest."

Mash sighed. "This is Queen Medb of the Celts, and this is Enkidu the first sidekick, and this is Iskandar the King of Conquerors, and this is Gareth from the Round Table, and her-"

"If you didn't need counseling before you'll need it after they befriend you," Enkidu said.

Some time later:

"Is this the best way to perform a counseling?" Chisame asked. She sat in another hall, forming a wide circle with Negi, Matoi, Chamo, Ayaka, Louise, Kazumi, Mash, Medb, Musashi, Tamamo, Kiyohime, Nightingale, Gawain, Gareth, Mordred, Marie, Mozart and D'Eon.

"No, but since they won't leave we might as well turn this into group therapy," Kiara said. She put on some glasses. "Negi, you are the reason why your comrades are here. You clearly are very important to them, the backbone of your team. They must care deeply about you on an emotional level, and you feel indebted to them in turn."

"I turned their lives around after all," Negi said. "They don't owe me anything but they helped me constantly."

"Oh, a martyr type," Medb said. "I can tell you that much."

"Chisame, you were Negi's first partner, right?" Kiara crossed her long legs. The slit in the nun habit was very revealing. "You've had the longest time to establish rapport with him. Even Louise seems to defer to you."

"Hey, now, that's not it!" Louise said.

"In that you're pretty much the same Mash-chan is to the Master, so I'll assign her as your guide. That is, she'll monitor your activities here and make sure you are resting properly."

"That... That's fine with me if it's fine with her as well," Chisame said, finding it very reasonable. For all Emiya-senpai had warned her on this woman she seemed nice, attire aside, but it wasn't that much more scandalous than Misora's miniskirted habit.

Mash smiled. "I'll be glad to help Chisame-san!"

"Tsunetsuki-kun," Kiara said before Matoi could argue. "You appear to have struck a relationship with Kiyohime, and I see no reason to separate you. This office is always open, but should you feel at better ease talking with her, do so and she'll relay your queries to me. She'll be your guide."

"Hmm," Matoi said.

"What's with that humming?" Kiyohime said. "I thought we liked spending time together!"

"But won't it cut in my precious Chisame-sama time and your precious Fujimaru-kun time?"

"I'm sure we can work something out," Kiyohime said.

"Yukihiro Ojou-sama," Kiara said, taking notes on something. "Your file says you're a woman of wealth who is very active and able in combat. So I want you to ask for this person in our gyms." She handed Ayaka a note. "She'll be our interface liaison."

Ayaka scowled at the note. "Isn't this the name of a mythical goddess?"

Louise raised a hand. "If Tsunetsuki got Kiyohime-san then I got Queen Marie Antoinette, right?"

"That won't do," Kiara told her. "But you are an aristocrat so you should be assigned to someone of noble lineage! I'll ask Minamoto no Raikou-sama to act as your tutor during your stay."

Louise looked at Marie. "Is that a good thing?"

Marie laughed awkwardly. "She's a very caring person so you should be fine...!"

"Should?" Louise said.

"Who's gonna be my partner?" Chamo asked.

"Excuse me?" the nun said.

"Y'know, who's gonna show me the building around..."

"Oh, sorry, but I'm not an animal psychologist. We can put you in the same cage as Tarasque, if you feel you need one."

"Cage?!"

"We have less intel on you than on any of your friends, Asakura-san," Kiara pointed her notepad at Kazumi. "Also, there is something about you that intrigues me so if you don't mind me, I'll be handling your guidance personally."

Kazumi grinned. "Why, that's a honor!" Then she noticed the other Servants staring at her. "What? It's not?"

EMIYA Alter passed by their open room humming loudly a creepy theme.

"Was that Wesley Snipes?" Chamo asked.

"I DON'T LOOK AT ALL LIKE WESLEY SNIPES!" growled the man from the corridor.

"What a strange move!" Medb told Kiara, raising her eyebrow. "Won't you be handling the lad yourself?"

"No, he isn't ready yet," Kiara smiled. "Musashi-sama seems to be interested on him so perhaps she should function as her caretaker."

Musashi blinked and straightened up. "Ah?! In-Interest?! Ah ha ha! Sensei, you jester!"

"You are a fun lover, right what he needs," Kiara told her. "You're also capable of defending him from most Servants should any of them get furious at him. Just don't get him drunk and it should work out. Well, session's dismissed! That's enough for our preliminary bonding!"

"Seriously?" Negi asked.

Kiara nodded. "You must be tired, you'll be shown your rooms and we can go into better depth when you are prepared."

"You're playing the long game, I see," a grossed out Gareth said.

"I have no idea what are you talking about!" Kiara said piously.

"No, this was a lie then! You talked about a group therapy but we didn't get to say anything!" Medb stomped her foot.

"What a diva," Gareth facepalmed.

"But I gathered a lot of the data we need from merely observing you all around our visitors," Kiara said. "If you really want a group therapy, fine, let's all just have sex."

Negi, Chisame and Louise broke into coughing. Ayaka growled. Kazumi began feeling antsy.

"It was just a joke, Medb-sama," Kiara lost her smile and brought her hands together. "Please put your clothes back on."

"Now I know you're scheming something! You'd never say that otherwise!" Mordred said.

"So we aren't having grupal sex this time either?" Medb pointed, reduced in a blink to her white underwear. Gawain stared on.

 

A preview?

---

Mash smiled. "Profesor Da Vinci just handed me a list of the Servants who will go with you to the Singularity! It'll be me, Da Vinci (small), Raikou-san, Ibaraki-san, Medb, Sessyoin-sensei, King Artoria, Mo-san, Fran, Musashi-san, Martha, Gareth, Illya-chan, Tamamo, Osakabehime, Ishtar and Kiyohime!"

"Why can't Astraea-sama come?" Ayaka complained.

"She doesn't have a Summer form yet," Mash said.

"Can't she just put on a swimsuit instead of taking a new form? It's what you'll do, isn't it?" said Chisame.

Mash breathed. "Well, she could, but a Summer form is the ideal for a Heroic Soul to rayshift into tropical environments."

"Why?" Negi asked.

"I'm not sure, but Professor Da Vinci says that it has to do with adaptation of the Spirit Graph to hot surroundings," Mash said. "Some, like Fran and Anastasia, can barely function in hot climates without assuming a Summer form."

"That makes no sense, you Servants are supposed to shrug off ambiental conditions that would affect humans," Matoi told her.

"Look, Summer selves are a token of status," Mash said. "It takes a lot for most Servants to be given one. If those who don't have one are allowed to go over those who do, they will be offended."

"Even here elitism is alive and well!" Matoi said.

"Aren't there any other Servants with summer forms who can go with us over that horned annoyance?" Ayaka said. An image of Ibaraki's face with a sign saying 'horned annoyance' appeared above her. "I can't believe she was worthier of it than Astraea-sama!"

Mash went over her list. "Carmilla has a Summer form and she's available, she can take Ibaraki's slot if-"

"NO!" Negi said.

"NO!" Chisame said.

"NO!" Matoi said.

"NO!" Louise said.

"NO!" Ayaka said.

"NO!" Kazumi said. Chamo fell from her shoulder into a fetal position and began shaking, his fur pointing up.

Mash smiled again. "Then off to the beach we go! Glad we have settled that!"

 

Carmilla was too scary for Negi & co? Or just too hot?

 

Baby Boom.

"Have you thought about names?" Chisame asked.

Konoka smiled, rubbing her own large belly. "My daughter will be named Honoka, and Setchan's Isana!"

"... Honoka and Isana," Chisame said.

Konoka pouted. "It's just naming, Chisame-chan, it's not supposed to be rocket science!"

"You still should put more effort into it! At least you didn't name them Konoka Junior and Setsuna Junior. Wait, what if they are boys?"

"Don't be silly, Chisame-chan," Konoka said. "They can't be boys because we are THAT lesbian and yet also THAT feminine! Asuna, on the other hand, is a tomboy so she'll have a boy."

Chisame looked at Asuna. "And what is that boy supposed to be named?"

"I was thinking about Takam--" Asuna began.

"Nagi," Negi said.

Asuna glared at him. "Why can't he be Takamichi?"

"I thought you liked my father as well!" Negi said.

"That's until I met him again and realized that he didn't even care that much his wife was dead!"

"He's just the internally stoic type, and they never married," Negi nitpicked.

"For the love of God, Kagurazaka, you let him have it his way or we'll never hear the end of it. And he'll insist on naming any of the other children 'Nagi'," Chisame said.

"It's not a bad name for a girl either, remember Sanzenin Nagi?" Negi said.

"No," Konoka said.

"No," Setsuna said.

"No," Chisame said.

"No," Asuna said.

"Hayate-san's master and beloved," Negi sighed. "You do remember Hayate-san, right?"

"Nanoha-chan and Fate-chan's girlfriend?" Konoka tried to make memory.

"I think I remember now," Chisame said. "This Nagi girl had a voice like Tsukuyomi's, right?"

"Right," Negi said.

"All the more reason not to call any daughters of us that," Chisame said.

"Oh, but my son is fair game!" Asuna said.

"But you don't hate the Nagi name. Do you?" Negi asked with huge puppy eyes.

"No, of course not, but--"

Negi began sniffing.

"Ohhhh, fine!" Asuna said.

"We'll buy Nagi-kun a doggy and we can call the doggy Takamichi, do you like the idea?" Konoka smiled.

"No, not really, not all that much!"

 

In the light of recent events.

"Okay," Negi said. "We have already met with the Pope, Biden, Macron, Putin and Elon Musk. The next meeting should be a piece of cake compared to all of this. Blue Mars is all but guaranteed! Who comes next?"

"The Dalai Lama," Chisame said dryly.

They looked at each other in silence.

---

The holy man smiled nervously, with Chachamaru's wrist spear pressed against his throat. "This won't be necessary," he told the boy sitting before him.

"Sorry," Negi sipped his tea. "Please bear with us. My secretaries insisted."

 

Maturity.

"Ooohhh, Charlie Brown!" Lucy cooed, kneeling on the grass and holding the football for him to kick. "Guess what time is it? Come on! I won't move this time!"

Charlie Brown looked at her for a moment, then said "WAAAAA WAAAAA WAAAAA."

Lucy blinked.

"WAAAA WAAAAA WAAAAAA," Charlie Brown added, and he stepped back until he stood off frame. "WAAAAA WAAA WAAA WAAAAA!"

Lucy shuddered, stood up, picked the football up, and walked back home.

She sat down next to Linus to watch TV.

Finally she said, with a haunted tone, "We lost Charlie Brown. He's grown up!"

 

Servants who Never should be Summoned.

---

Rider.

The flash of light went down and a shapely cat woman with long blonde hair and glasses appeared before Ritsuka, wearing a piloting uniform and giving him a smile and a casual salute.

She spoke. "Good morning! I'm Servant Rider, Callie Briggs-- Wait!" She looked at her gloved hands. "I'm the pilot of the Turbo Kat? Why!? I never piloted anything, that was the boys' job!"

Mash sighed. "You're the only reason why anyone remembers that show at all, aren't you?"

Callie hummed, stroking her chin. "That may be so... But even then, the Throne of Heroes could have sent Felina! Doesn't matter! I'll be glad to fight by your side, Master!"

Fate Grand Order was taken off by the company twenty six episodes later.

 

Secrets of the Batcave.

"Hnh. I hope you know what you were doing, letting Chao go," the Batman said, climbing into the Batplane. "Well, I wish you good--"

"Batman-sama, wait!" Haruna said. "Please take this!"

She threw him a small crumped ball. Batman caught it in his hand, then unfolded it. He scowled at the panties. "... what is the meaning of this...?"

Haruna grinned. "Everyone says you keep a lot of mementos from your thrilling exploits in your secret hideout cave! So please add this to that collection, as a reminder of your Mahora adventures!"

"Who says I have a secret hideout cave?" Batman growled.

Haruna blinked. "I just told you. Everyone!"

Robin hummed. "When you think about it, a lot of our enemies have been to the cave. Luckily they've never gone up to the--"

"Quiet, Robin."

He smiled. "Yes, boss."

---

A few years later, Damian Wayne frowned at one of the display cases. "Father? Why do you have female undergarments here? What is even the point?"

"Go ask Dick," Bruce growled. "That's not a story I'm fond of recalling."

Damian gave Alfred a worried look.

The butler shrugged. "It's not what you may be thinking of."

 

I loved Chaos in the morning... Or evening...

 

Kirei will soon gain a Shoulder Loli.

 

It's Another Untold Myth from Ancient Greece!

The oracle said it clearly. "Your son will cause your death."

The king walked back home with his men. "That boy has to die," he told them.

His chief of commanders nodded. "Following the protocol for these instances, we will leave him to die in a basket, alone in the woods so the elements and the woodland beasts kill him."

"No! You know how it goes afterwards!" the king said. "A couple of kind shepherds will find him, raise him as their beloved son, and unaware of his heritage, he'll murder me many years later!"

They entered the palace. "Bring me the boy," the king commanded.

And they did so, and the king stabbed him.

"That should suffice," his chief advisor said.

"We need to make sure!" the king stabbed him again.

"Sire, it's just a baby..." one of the guards said.

"Just in caseee...!" the king said, stabbing him over and over, until he appeared satisfied enough and passed the remains to a wincing soldier. "See? That's the way it's done. I'll be in the baths taking all of this blood off..."

He began walking out of the room. But then, he slipped on a puddle of red, fell backwards, rolled against the wall, and broke his neck.

His lieutenants stared at the dead man in surprise.

It twitched twice, and sighed his last.

They stared at each other. "Did the oracle mention who would succeed him?" one of them asked.

 

Servants who never should be summoned.

---

Assasssin.

Kotomine Kirei was not a man who emoted easily, much less in surprise about pretty much anything. Even so, he had to blink in confusion now.

This man was not a member of the Order of Hassan, evidently. His outfit, a form fitting suit of brightly yellow tights with a mask and a red lightning symbol on his chest, was too colorful for that.

"I'm Servant Assassin," he said. "Are you my Master?"

"Ah... Yes," Kirei said.

"Good to hear. I'll be back right now," Assassin said, and disappeared in a blur of light.

Before Kirei could understand what had happened, Assassin reappeared right before him, covered on blood. "It's done," he told Kirei.

"What do you mean?"

"The Masters. I searched the city at super speed and found all six other men with command seals on them. So I killed them. What are your orders now?"

Kirei blinked again. "Well... That's too bad on Tokiomi-san, but... I can't feel too upset for some reason. Now all we need to activate the holy grail is for you to kill y--"

Before the sentence could be finished, Assassin vibrated a middle finger through Kirei's skull.

 

This is the Flash, right? Only other person I could think of is Saitama and the Bald Crusader doesn't have any lightning motifs.