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One thing that does help there is the fact that the magical and muggle economies are pretty badly decoupled, so it's entirely possible for the value of precious metals to be wildly different.
That was pure 'JKR is bad at math', IMHO. You generally have to ignore some bits for others to make sense, just like the rest of canon.I can buy the exchange rates between the coins, as long as the sizes vary accordingly. I have some troubles with the exchange rates to the pound, and the general pricing schemes in canon.
The goblins, perhaps? It also helps that we don't know what percentage of a galleon is gold, nor how much of a sickle is silver. We don't even know how big the coins are supposed to be, unless we assume the movie coins are the correct sizes (in which case you just have to get a good estimate of the mass, and work out how much gold you'd need to ad to the mostly-copper coins to get five pounds to the galleon). It may be something else entirely, of course.As long as they have an exchange rate, someone will likely come up with a scheme to profit from the differences.
Yeah, that's the sort of thing I try to stay hopeful about. You can find decent explanations for most of the problems if you try.I have given up on that, since the canon plot does not work with competent characters. Dumbledore is the best example of that - his plans and actions are just too damn stupid, and the plot rails are the reason for it. In his testament he gives cryptic hints to the trio that they may decypher and some weird items that the Ministry might not confiscate - although none of that would have been needed if he had given them the gear and explanation before he died, no Ministry meddling that way since it was a gift, not an inheritance, and they'd not even know about it. Also, his last year was wasted "teaching" Harry about Voldemort's pat - the grand sum of information he could have learned in one afternoon. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
"Then I'll surpass it next year." Hermione smirkedproudlyconfidently.
And not just because she was likely to useany ofher knowledge to save him.
No one mentioned the Unforgivables, but Harry was sure every_one of them thought about them.
I am not familiar with that expression. What did you mean for him to do?Sketching a salute at the clay arm grasping through the gap left on top of the wall,
He threw his head back, screaming with painwhileas blood spurted from his scar.
Nice chapter. Voldemort resurrected without Harry's involvement, but during the Task. Is Hermione going to have to duel the Earth Genie?
I am not familiar with that expression. What did you mean for him to do?
It's a legitimate expression, and you've used it correctly, but your definition is slightly off. 'Sketching a salute' means making a motion - generally just waving your hand in the vicinity of your brow - which conveys the idea of a salute without necessarily actually doing something that, in itself, qualifies as a proper salute. Just as sketching a thing means creating an image which would be recognized as that thing, despite not being anything like a picture of that thing.Saluting, but in a bit of a casual way. I got the expression from a few books, but I am actually not sure how official it is.
It's a legitimate expression, and you've used it correctly, but your definition is slightly off. 'Sketching a salute' means making a motion - generally just waving your hand in the vicinity of your brow - which conveys the idea of a salute without necessarily actually doing something that, in itself, qualifies as a proper salute. Just as sketching a thing means creating an image which would be recognized as that thing, despite not being anything like a picture of that thing.
This can be done with other actions, too: you can 'sketch a bow' by, e.g., placing your arm horizontally across your waist in the classic butler pose and then inclining your head; you have not actually performed a bow, since you did not bend at the waist, but the other person will know what you mean. However, it is mostly applicable to salutes, since a proper salute specifies many fine points about hand position, arm position, posture, etc. (the details of which vary between different militaries); most civilians couldn't salute correctly no matter how hard they tried.
great chapter. i do wonder, just what it is that dumbles suspects...about hermione and harry.
This one should be subjunctive mood, I think.her struggle to open her robe and slide out of it before shewaswere burned to a cinder.
"Alright" is more of an interjection, so I think "all right" works better here. Also, "I am all right" is a complete sentence, so the comma should be inside the quote this time. (Personally, I am glad that you are using the British convention of putting the comma where it makes sense, rather than the American one of always putting it inside the quotation.)
That, or "okay".
Subjunctive mood, and it's Hermione speaking, so her speech would probably be very grammatically precise.
"Cause" is for actions or events, while "create" is more for things or states."Sirius said the Oathdoesn'tcan'tcausecreate love. No magic cancausecreate love."
"I know. But… have you ever found anything about the Oath, or the life debt,causingcreating love? You've researched the topic extensively. If there was anything, you'd have found it."
Here and elsewhere, a contraction is more appropriate.
Also, point of fact: Hermione is not a Hufflepuff!You don't want her to badger you to see the pensive, should she hear of it after the fact."
This would be a good place to insert a reference --- ideally a humorous one --- to a Noodle Incident from the past when this force was underestimated.Miss Granger's passion for arcane knowledge, especially when her Patron was involved, was a force to be underestimated at one's own peril.
"It'sokOK. A potion will fix that before I leave the infirmary."
That was when Luna decided that she needed to vanish Hermione's hospital gown 'to check if all her skin grew back correctly'. Aicha managed to pull the blonde off Hermione before more than her sleeve was gone, but that only made her break down crying and wail about treacherous genies. Hermione realized that the young witch had been deeply affected by the incident that had almost caused her death, and started to console her friend.
Generally, this opening reads very stiltedly and seems unnecessary wordy. I would suggest varying sentence structure. Maybe something likeVoldemort stoodon top ofatop a seaside cliff, looking out at the sea. The place held quite the memories for him. He used to deal with those whodidangered him at the orphanage here.
I wonder if a better word than "concluded" could be found. As it is, it almost sounds like Waterloo, if you know what I mean.It was only fitting that this is where his return would be concluded.
Unnecessarily wordy. Also, show-not-tell: picture Voldemort standing over the body, pointing his wand at it... for five minutes, while it burns visibly, but slowly. Now, picture him pointing his wand at it, and it dissolves into ashes in five seconds. There's a qualitative difference in scariness.Without further ceremony, Voldemort pointed his wand at the corpse and set it ablaze, burning it. Fueled by his power the corpse burnedto ashes inminutesseconds.
Not sure about this one, but I usually capitalize it.
Here and elsewhere, contractions are appropriate, unless the speaker is trying to emphasize or uses few contractions as a part of their speech pattern.
It turned most of the trees in the vicinity into kindling, too.
Or something along these lines.Kenneth knew what happened to aurors who accused the wrong kind of peoplemade the wrong kind of enemies,and couldn't back up such accusations.
Suggest rewriting this: "when suddenly" implies unexpectedness, which it isn't.She shuddered and made a face at the taste, then started panting when suddenly, hair started to grow rapidly on her head.
Suggest rewriting this: the locks would obscure her face long before they reached her hips.The brown locks did not stop growing until they reached her hips and completely obscured her face.
Hermione raised her wand, pointed it at her head,andmuttered an incantation he didn't catch,
Neither of them had brought upmentionedthat particular topicagainsince.
And yet, things had changed. Harry held out his hand to help her stand up from the bed she was sitting on.
with those tempting books she was certainsurewere not available in the library of the school, or even the Black Family Library
She managed not to let her gaze linger too long on them, though
But she realized that there far too many objects to fit inside the room.
"Aye. Only one Barty would go to such lengths for. He is back, then."
Firstly, it sounds more profound to refer to the spell's name. Secondly, I suggest cutting this comparison in the first place: this is a matter of personal taste, but I prefer to think of the Cruciatus as the ultimate torture curse. That, almost by definition, there is nothing more painful than the Cruciatus except for a better cast Cruciatus.
"Pain" is redundant here.His wand dropped from nerveless fingers and he screamedwith pain, throwing his head back.
These are independent clauses: you could replace "and" with a period, so there must be a comma before the "and".The pain stopped, and a tall, slender man stepped out of the shadows of his living room. It wasn't the Dark Lord.
"Try to" is unnecessary here.
No, 'was' is correct here. 'Were' reads very awkwardly.
Nope. "I am alright" means "I am in acceptable condition"; "I am all right" means "I am correct in every way"."Alright" is more of an interjection, so I think "all right" works better here.
My rule would be if you're using it as a title, it gets capitalised, but if you're using it just as a job description, it does't. In this case, since it's Voldemort, it's clear 'the Dark Wizard'.
Having her hair grow isn't unexpected; having it do so so suddenly and without warning was.Suggest rewriting this: "when suddenly" implies unexpectedness, which it isn't.
And? It did not stop until both these events had come to pass; that one of them happened first isn't a problem.Suggest rewriting this: the locks would obscure her face long before they reached her hips.
Nope. He could be screaming in fear or anger.
Good chapter. There were some bits with awkward writings, and a lot of missing commas, though.
Good idea.This would be a good place to insert a reference --- ideally a humorous one --- to a Noodle Incident from the past when this force was underestimated.
This passage is awkward. It's very telly-not-showy, and there is mood whiplash: it starts out coming off as a sitcom situation playing off Luna's lack of restraint and respect for personal space, then shifts to how deeply affected Luna was. I would suggest either cutting it, or rewriting it to show-not-tell more, narrating what Luna actually said and did. By the time the passage is over, the reader shouldn't need Hermione's realization to realize how affected Luna had been.
Generally, this opening reads very stiltedly and seems unnecessary wordy. I would suggest varying sentence structure. Maybe something like
Voldemort stood atop a seaside cliff, looking out at the sea. The place brought back memories: it was here that he would deal with those who angered him at the orphanage.I wonder if a better word than "concluded" could be found. As it is, it almost sounds like Waterloo, if you know what I mean.
Unnecessarily wordy. Also, show-not-tell: picture Voldemort standing over the body, pointing his wand at it... for five minutes, while it burns visibly, but slowly. Now, picture him pointing his wand at it, and it dissolves into ashes in five seconds. There's a qualitative difference in scariness.
Kenneth knew what happened to aurors who accused the wrong kind of people and couldn't back up such accusations. Or something along these lines.
Suggest rewriting this: the locks would obscure her face long before they reached her hips.
Firstly, it sounds more profound to refer to the spell's name. Secondly, I suggest cutting this comparison in the first place: this is a matter of personal taste, but I prefer to think of the Cruciatus as the ultimate torture curse. That, almost by definition, there is nothing more painful than the Cruciatus except for a better cast Cruciatus.
Nope. "I am alright" means "I am in acceptable condition"; "I am all right" means "I am correct in every way".
He is the Dark Lord, but a dark wizard.My rule would be if you're using it as a title, it gets capitalised, but if you're using it just as a job description, it does't. In this case, since it's Voldemort, it's clear 'the Dark Wizard'.
Having her hair grow isn't unexpected; having it do so so suddenly and without warning was.
Unless this is the first time Draco has seen Hermione since the Task, lose the 'has'.
Should be a semi-colon, not a comma.Ron wondered how dense Neville had to be, his little sister was so transparent.
Also, another idea on the whole 'value of a galleon' thing: it is possible that gold itself is not a scarce resource among magicals, and that the value of the galleon is as a fiat currency, rather than from the metal value;
Unless this is the first time Draco has seen Hermione since the Task, lose the 'has'.
Should be a semi-colon, not a comma.
General rule: Replace the comma with a period. If what you get is two grammatically complete sentences, you should use a semi-colon, not a comma.
It could be a holdover from days when gold was valuable, before someone figured out how to transmute it without a philosopher's stone. It could be a tradition imported from the muggle world. Or it could just be that gold is shiny, and they have charms or better alloys that make it durable enough.Gold is one of the worst metals you can make coins out of, if gold wasn't intrinsically valuable no one would ever have made coins out of it.
Conjuring it isn't the only way gold could be devalued. They could simply have better sources of natural gold. (Maybe the magical world's mining operations are simply a couple orders of magnitude better than muggle ones - either because magic helps ('Accio gold'? A targeted vanishing spell?), or because there's another species (e.g goblins or dwarves) who are fundamentally better at it. Or maybe they simply have richer sources (because they snag all the best spots as magic-only sites). Etc..)Myth says you need a philosopher's stone to turn lead into gold. I think one should go with that, it has a lot of traction.
It could be a holdover from days when gold was valuable, before someone figured out how to transmute it without a philosopher's stone. It could be a tradition imported from the muggle world. Or it could just be that gold is shiny, and they have charms or better alloys that make it durable enough.