Refractions (Worm Colab Dual SI)

[Santo]

Here we go, baby! The shining and raging star of the story!

Click to shrink...

Hah! Thanks for the compliment!

I aim to be gloriously incandescent!

Through jolly cooperation! Yes... >.>

 

[Santo]

Aaaaand...STUFF!

Glad to see people enjoying my characterization of Kid-Santo. It warms the greasy, frozen, calcified lump of grit and callus I call a heart.

Now, more stuff! Let me know what you think about it.

Pretty please with a cherry on top.

---

Ersatz II.III

I took Taylor's wrist in a firm but gentle grip and moved it until she was pressing the knife against the side of my neck. "Yeah yeah knife on the front of the throat is threatening, but if you want to actually be dangerous, you hold it to the side, where the carotid is, that way, if they get uppity, they have literally minutes to live, and only seconds awake." I patted the back of her hand. "And that's how you hold a knife to someone's neck and remain the most safe."

I wasn't 100% certain what her expression was, her costume made an amazing job of hiding her reactions, and the fact that she wasn't speaking made it my job to carry the whole conversation by myself. Thankfully, this was not difficult.

Convincing the cops to 'exchange' me for the women and children had been somewhat difficult. But some bullshit I made up about not being able to rest easy while women and children were in the line of fire had them eating out of the palm of my hand. Now the Undersiders had one third the hostages, and I was in here, where I could keep an eye on everyone and make sure nobody spooked the giant dogs.

Wins all around!

I cast my suit cameras around the lobby, as I continued my impromptu class on proper knife wielding. I ignored the disbelieving stares of the twenty or so men in the room, and looked out for my partner in crime. Dean and Amy were huddled in a corner, out of the way of any possible debris from the Collateral Damage Barbie making an entrance. The fact that she hadn't shown up yet, did not mean she could not arrive and make the situation worse.

Dean looked rattled, kinda pale, for that matter so did Amy. Well, paler. Gingers abhor sunlight and all. I wonder for a moment if he had done something stupidly noble and had gotten spooked by the fact that his powers were not exactly applicable to his current situation. Then I remembered I was supposed to be giving a lesson in knife wielding.

"Now knife on the body, that's important too you know? After all, most people won't hold your hand and teach you how to properly hold a knife to their throat, most of the time you're using a knife, it'll probably be going somewhere in the torso, for that-"

The Undersiders came back. I was surprised at how pretty Reagent was. Like, dayum son, did you forget how to testosterone? Tattletale had a pretty killer bod and a pretty shitty everything else. Grue was more muscular than me, and I did not like this fact, at all. For that matter, I had a feeling that Bitch was more muscular than I was, and this I really didn't like, that said, she did look more feminine than I thought she was going to, so hey, little of column A, little of column B.

Speaking of.

"Hey Bitch!"

All the hostages twitched. The girl with the plastic dog mask turned to growl at me. Literally growled. "What?"

"Can I pet your dogs?"

"No."

"Okay."

And that was that for that conversation. Reagent and Taylor both looked rather confused by my blase attitude, Tattletale just looked like one smug bug. But fuck it, this was way better than spending two weeks in a Master/Stranger cell.

I waited for what felt like a few eternities, my HUD informed me it was exactly fifteen seconds, then I grew bored and turned to look at Taylor next to me. I kept expecting to tower over her, it was distressing that we were pretty evenly matched heightwise. "Sssooo. Just wanted to say, your hair? It's incredible. Mind telling me what conditioner you use? Cause holy hell, I haven't seen hair that good outside of a commercial."

Grue grunted, the smoke coming out from his clothes gave it an eerie echoey quality. "Hostages shouldn't talk."

Reagent barked a laugh. "Aww, what's that bossman? Worried someone's muscling in on your turf?"

I smirked and made my best effort to channel my inner mid-western black woman. I put a hand on my hip and waved a finger at him. "Okay, first of all, I prefer 'person of immense value', I find the word 'hostage' offensive…you racist. Second of all," I tossed my head as I flipped a hand over my shoulder. Thankfully, Taylor hastily removed the knife from my neck, that could have damaged some of the seals of my spanking new armor, "my hair is waaay better than Grue's, and deserves the best, hence asking the only one here with better hair than me how she managed that miracle."

There was a long silence as both the hostages and the Undersiders all looked from my fully helmeted head, to Grue's fully helmeted head, and back to me as I stuck to my pose.

"Uhhh." I turned to Dean as he raised his hand like he was in class. Because of course the idiot can't sit quietly like a good hostage. "Isn't that Gallant's helmet? I mean, it looks like it has a new paint job. But… it really looks like Gallant's helmet."

I scoffed. "Well if you must know, inquisitive civilian. Gallant was too busy for hero work today, and I thought to myself I did. 'Why gee willikers Kid Win, aren't you headed to a dangerous situ-ma-caation?'

"And then I answered myself, 'gosh, yes myself, t'would seem that I am.'

"'Well,' myself said all hesitant like, 'wouldn't it be a good idea to wear this sadly abandoned helmet? It might be a good way to prevent a tragic case of the devil's drain bamage.' And the rest, as they say, is history."

I could feel every eye in the room zeroed in on me, and man, it was a good thing that this helmet covered my face completely, because I would never have managed to deliver those lines with a straight face. I could feel the collective confusion as they all struggled to figure out what my game was.

Except Tattletale, she thought she knew.

Suddenly Reagent exploded with laughter. "Hey, bossman, can we keep this hostage? He's hilarious!"

They ignored my shout of "Racist!" as Tattletale smirked. "We'll get to keep him a little longer." Judging by the way Grue twitched and turned to look at her, he didn't like the fact that she took point on answering that question. "He'll be our safety net as we escape. Grue will throw out a smoke screen, he'll keep the cops and Wards off our backs and we'll drop the Super-Hostage-"

"Racist!"

"-off somewhere safe once we're clear." Tattletale finished, ignoring my interruption.

I shrugged, tough crowd. "Well, better me than a squishy civilian. Oh, now we can put the knife lessons to practice!" I said enthusiastically to Taylor. "Though for this situation, with a Hostage on the move," I magnanimously ignored Reagent pointing out I'd called myself a hostage, "knife at the back is safer, less chance of accidental stabbity or slashy. Right over the kidney is good if they're not wearing armor, which unfortunately for you, I am, so you'll just have to get creative."

In no time at all we were riding off into the, well, I would call it sunset but it was a little after midday, and all the goddamn super-smoke cut out all visibility. It also absorbed all of my armor's sensory output and returned nothing. The only things I could feel were the movement of the dog underneath me and the point of Taylor's knife as she held it to the softer part of my armor. The occasional bump as the dog stumbled on something caused the knife to jab painfully at my side, but whatever, not like it was gonna penetrate the armorweave.

We thankfully eventually came to a stop, and I jumped off the goddamn dog as the smoke dissipated. We were on one of the many rooftops, looking back, I could see a surprisingly sparse trail of property damage where the dogs had scrabbled and climbed as they ran on the rooftops.

"Well, can't say it hasn't been fun and all, bu-" I cut off as, when I turned around, the Undersiders were in a semi-circle behind me, stalking forward. I backed away and they didn't stop until I had reached the edge of the building.

Judging by Tattletale's cruel smirk, she wasn't done having her fun. "They should find you for a pickup, eventually." Her smirk grew to a full shit-eating grin. "I do so very much hope that you won't find it too hard a hit to your reputation. What with having been a helpless hostage to a group of villains."

I shrugged. "Meh."

Reagent huffed a laugh while Tattletale's eye twitched at my nonchalance. "Well, good luck getting your shit out of lockup. The BBPD is notoriously slow about those things."

Without another word. I jumped backwards off the edge of the roof.

"Wait!" Taylor's panicked plea came at the same time as she threw herself forward, hand stretched out. That girl really was a natural born hero. Fuck this world for messing that up so badly.

They all realized it wasn't a suicide attempt when I didn't fall, hovering in place as I opened a bit more distance between myself and their group. I blink-clicked the necessary icons on my HUD and raised my left hand as high as I could. "Eh, thanks for your concern. But I'll figure something out." I snapped my fingers and was engulfed in numerous flashes of green light.

I could see the realization of what had happened dawn on Tattletale's face as it twisted into a rictus of utter annoyance.

In the space of three seconds, I had gone from completely unarmed, to being armed with a pistol, a rifle with numerous Tinker Tech addons, and no less than two separate pintle-mounted weapons attached to the shoulders of my power armor. With a smirk, I activated the exchanger, just so Tattletale got to see that the rifle could have just as easily been a shotgun, and most of the things on me could change to be something else in an instant.

Why yes, you stuck up bint. I could have been perfectly equipped to deal with you lot at the drop of a hat. Because fuck you, powers are bullshit.

"Okay, boys and gals. Keep the thieving clean, hands mostly free of blood. Do your best not to drop any bodies, that way if you try to switch sides it'll make it much easier to get concessions and stuff. I'll even put in a good word for you." I blink-clicked an icon so the speakers on my helmet played a generic sound for a text message arriving. "On that note, I've got paperwork to fill out, so see ya!"

I gave them a sloppy salute and took off flying in the direction of the bank. Though I made sure to keep the cameras on my shoulder rigs pointed at them, who knows, maybe I'd get lucky and catch a shot of Tattletale looking surprised.

Now, every cape's favorite part of the job.

Paperwork.

 

[RandomFanficReaderAddict]

Just the thing I needed to get rid of my boredom

 

[Twisted]

This was great, truly Kid-Santo knows exactly what he is doing and has made zero uncalculated decisions that could bite him in the ass later.

He certainly made an impression however.

 

[Wivk]

I loved both not gallant and not kid win, they are both wonderful, in their own ways. Not gallant was very brave and heroic in his chapter, certainly a pleasure to read, but the mixture of competence and chaos of not kid win was even more delicious to my particular tastes. I think it's great to have the honorable not gallant acting like a Captain America to the bravado of not kid win who is like a tiny iron man. I think both of them are already doing far better than their counterparts would had they not swapped out.

I think the only thing I don't like about this story is that it is less than a million words, so get back to work, we need this.

 

[Heroslayer]

This chapter is out a bit late. Life decided to throw an emergency at me and I was too stressed to do the final pass on this chapter.

And now for the consequences of our actions, both large and small.

–

Ersatz 2.4

The clean up after a villain attack was kind of a bureaucratic bitch. There's a ton of processing that needs to be completed. There were witnesses to interview, general clean up, and making sure civilians don't take souvenirs from the battlefield. And all of that wasn't just grunt work, it also included paperwork. Piles and piles of paperwork. It was a pain in the ass.

On one hand, I was technically a civilian and a minor at the moment, so I got to circumvent most of that. Not sure if it was worth the verbal bitchslap and panic attack, but I'll take my silver linings.

On the other hand, I kind of wanted the grunt work, since it would give me a reason to avoid Amy, who was very persistent in trying to get answers from me. I couldn't even run away, since a PRT van had picked us up with the excuse that they would drive us back to school. So I was now trapped in the back of the van with her.

"You know, you really didn't need to come to the PRT building with me. Pretty sure all the Wards are uninjured. Well, maybe not Ch-Kid Win, but any injuries he gets, he deserves." I tried to joke, but my voice wouldn't cooperate and it just came out a monotone and dead rather than joking. I really didn't want to have to lie my way around Amy's suspicions and get thrown into a Master/Stranger cell.

While the time alone would be great for planning my next move, it would make it a lot harder to actually make that next move. Also, Chris had made it seem very, very tedious. Somehow, the second time was worse despite being much shorter.

"Dean," Amy's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. There was a lot of suspicion and confusion swirling around her. It made me nauseous just looking at it. I mentally sighed and braced myself for more social manipulation and emotional blackmail. "You had a panic attack."

"And I'm fiiiiine." I tried to wave off her worry. It did not go away. In fact, her feelings of worry only strengthened. Damnit, believe me. I resisted the urge to reach over and push just a bit of apathy and doubt into her so she'd leave me alone.

"Dean, you were running close to a heart attack." Amy said while glaring at me, "Which is rather concerning in a very healthy and active teenager."

"And you healed me. So I'm now fine." I tried to argue, but even to me it sounded more like whining. "Shouldn't you go and reassure your sister that you're fine. I'm sure that Vicky is worried sick. Heck, I'm surprised she isn't flying next to the van and trying to pry open the doors like a soup can." I managed to twist my mouth into a small smile, but it quickly faded at Amy's continuing suspicion. "I'm just saying."

"Did Tattletale…" Amy hesitated for a moment and I could see her inner battle. I mentally rooted for hesitation and caution, but sadly, suspicion and determination won out. "Was she telling the truth?"

Despite knowing that this was coming, I still hadn't thought of a way to explain myself. So I just blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Would you believe me if I said I don't remember what she said?" I asked, jokingly. Amy did not take that well and I immediately wanted to reach out and grab those words out of the air and cram them back into my stupid mouth.

"Don't play dumb!" Amy snapped. I wondered if that hue of red was anger from worry or anger. I couldn't quite parse it out in my current mood.

"Okay. Okay." I raised my hands up in surrender. "Look, I'm not going to lie and say I'm not having some memory issues. But Tatttletale was lying. She's a villain. She does that." I lied as easily as I breathed.

I said it smoothly and with confidence and for a moment, I thought that maybe I had convinced her. Sadly, the con of having emotional vision is that you can immediately tell when you said something wrong.

"Don't lie to me!" Amy shouted.

Thank god these vans had soundproofing, or else the driver would have stopped to check out if a member of New Wave was throttling the neck of their pet Ward.

"Look, I don't know what to tell you-" I was about to spin another lie when I saw a flash of impulsive frustration shoot through Amy.

"Really? Fine." She snatched my hand into a firm grip and stared me in the eyes. "How did you first ask Vicky out?"

"Are you serious?" I stared at Amy in complete surprise. I really didn't expect her to be this impulsive. "A makeshift M/S test. Didn't you say that this is a severe misuse of your powers."

"Stop stalling," Amy tightened her grip on my hand. I thought about pulling away, but a quick glance told me that she wasn't going to just let me go. "And I'm just making sure that a Stranger isn't masquerading as Dean Stansfield."

Okay, fine. Polygraph test. I can do that.

Polygraphs work by reading biometrics. So I just needed to trick my body into not sweating, increasing my heartbeat and a few other things I can't remember. Sure, I can totally do that on the spot. I took a deep breath to calm myself down and made sure to look Amy steadily in the eye.

Easy. I'm just telling her the truth. As long as I believed that, I could make her believe that. Right?

Vicky and Proto-Dean's first date. I can make a guess from what little I know about Proto-Dean. He's polite to a fault and super passive about most things. Also, the Wards kept joking and calling me Vicky's Boytoy. Add that up.

"Trick question, Vicky was the one that asked me." I said, trying to will my body to accept that as truth.

Amy's suspicious and determined stare was killing me. I was suddenly very aware of every heartbeat in my chest, not that I could tell if it was beating suspiciously. Amy's aura broke open into a rainbow of colors. Everything was tinged in a deep blue sadness as it swirled around the suspicion, betrayal, and way too much self-loathing.

"Shit." I sighed and slumped just a little into the crappy van seat. "I guess wrong, huh?"

"No." I didn't need emotional vision to hear the sadness and anger in Amy's voice. "You were right. But you guessed."

"You can see that? How does your power even work?" I suddenly felt very vulnerable with Amy holding my hand. Even though I knew she wasn't going to do anything, the fact that she could suddenly was on the front of my mind.

"Who are you?" Amy demanded.

"Dean Stansfield." I said quickly. That did not seem to please Amy, so I raised my other hand up in surrender before she gave me the Super Flu or something. "No seriously, I'm not a Stranger or anything. I just have amnesia. I can't remember anything before the explosion."

Well, nothing about Dean's life. I didn't want to think about my rapidly deteriorating Swiss cheese memory of my previous life.

"So what, it was some sort of Master effect?"

"Maybe?" I honestly had no memory of the battle and neither did Chris. Which meant the report about the fight had been pieced together from witness accounts. "I just woke up one day in a hospital bed, dazed and confused. I didn't want people to worry so I was kind of hoping I could just, you know, pass it off as head trauma."

"So you decided to just suffer in silence? That…sounds like something Dean would do." Amy scowled and stared at my head. "Brain looks normal too, so that rules out most Master effects. And this is definitely Dean's body."

"That's because I am Dean." I tried to pull my hand back. "Are you done CAT scanning me?"

I'm going to be honest, I'm a little scared of what she might find up there. I had no idea if she could actually see biological differences between me and Dean. Would there be any signs in my brain? If there were, what did that mean for me?

Amy bit her lip before asking, "Were you ever going to tell anyone? Were you ever going to tell Vicky?"

Was I? I thought about it. I wanted to say yes, but…

"I mean… I was expecting my memories to come back at some point." I gave a half aborted shrug. "Then it wouldn't be a problem."

"But nothing came back?"

"No." I shook my head. "Not a thing. And then…"

I stole a dead boy's identity. I frankensteined together what little I could remember of my fading old life and slotted it into the missing pieces of this one.

"I just settled into being me." I smiled weakly. "I don't know if it was muscle memory or whatever, but I think I'm still him. Maybe. I don't know."

No one called me out. So I just thought I was doing a good job of being Dean.

"I can't believe no one noticed." Amy whispered. She must have blamed herself for something, since that brought up a fresh batch of self loathing.

"Hey, there's nothing to really notice. I'm still Dean. Just, you know, with a little baggage." I tried to convince her, but it sounded weak even to my ears. "Or maybe less baggage? Whatever. All in all, everything is fine."

Amy lifted both of our hands. "You don't believe that."

"Seriously? You are way worse than a polygraph." I said through grit teeth, very uncomfortable at being called out so accurately. "Fine. I'm not sure if I'm the same or different. I haven't thought about it."

"I will give you super acne if you keep lying to me." Amy threatened.

"God damnit." I swore as I rubbed my face. My first impulse was to keep lying, but that clearly wasn't going to work.

There was no more avoiding it. There was no other topic at hand to distract me from thinking about it. Unwelcome thoughts spiraled up from the depths of my subconscious and screamed their accusations into my mind. I felt that familiar feeling of panic build up alongside the physical feeling of Amy keeping my body from having another panic attack.

"I think about it a lot, but I repress it since it drives me nuts. I can't remember anything before the explosion and I'm stuck trying to play a role that everyone else knows but I don't. I feel like I'm surrounded by strangers since I don't remember any of the people around me. I feel like a fraud all the time since I can't remember who Dean was before the explosion and I'm constantly second guessing my every move."

I was constantly keeping an eye on everyone's auras around me. Especially my 'friends' and 'family.' I had to constantly act, constantly keep an eye on my faceless audience of colors and aura and adapt to every little change. Even if no one was suspicious yet, all it took was a single mistake before the entire house of cards fell down.

It was exhausting.

I missed trusting people. I missed being able to see faces clearly. Even when I was around Vicky, who I could see clearly, I had to constantly keep the Dean act up. Which was more draining without the colors to guide me.

"And then there's the identity crisis!" My voice cracked as I built up more steam in my panic fueled rant. "What happens if my memories come back? Am I just going to be Dean but with a few weeks of weird memories? Is the current me going to die? Did I kill Proto-Dean? This shit is supposed to be the plot of a crappy sci-fi novel, not my life!"

I must have sounded like a madman, since Amy was filled with worry and pity. An incredulous laugh slipped through my lips at this situation. Just a few hours ago I was the one worrying about her mental state and now she's probably debating on whether or not to throw me in a mental asylum.

No wait, I'm a parahuman. They'd just throw me into the Birdcage.

"Dean." Amy must have sensed my depression since she tightened her grip on my hand and suddenly went from pity back to self loathing.

Oh no. None of that. I can't remember why, but I knew that making sure Amy was happy and mentally stable was important. I could contemplate my identity crisis later.

Much later. Maybe never if I kept running towards different crises that needed solving. I gladly took my issues and crammed them deep into the back of my mind and turned my attention to reassuring Amy.

"Woah, woah, wait, I'm not blaming anyone. Except maybe Leet. But no one likes Leet so that's par for course." I reached over and held Amy's hand in both of mine and subtly weaved in some positive vibes into her aura. "Look, I'm fine. Sure, I'm going a little crazy with the identity thing, but I'm a teenager. I'm supposed to be going crazy over my identity and socializing. And it's not like I'm not connecting with people. Look, from what everyone tells me, we've never really had an actual conversation like this. And now we're having a heart to heart."

"Which I forced out of you by threatening you with my powers." Amy retorted guiltily.

No, bad self depreciative Amy. Shoo. I'm trying to build positive vibes here. Positive Amy only. I pushed in a little bit more positivity into her aura.

"Which okay, a little invasive, but totally normal for a Cape friend. Clockblocker still uses his powers on us for pranks all the time and I totally shoot Kid-Win with good vibes when he's being a jerk. I think it's just a Cape thing." I tilted my head for a moment as I contemplated that thought. It checked out. "And we're Heroes. We meddle. It's what we do."

"Some Hero I am." Amy said, voice full of self-disgust. "All I did today was mouth off to a Villain and cause you to have a second panic attack."

A sardonic smile slid onto my face. "You at least healed both of those. All I did was mouth off to a Villain and have two panic attacks. In hindsight, trying to verbally battle a known Thinker was not a smart choice."

"About that," said Amy. "Why did you start mouthing off to Tattletale?"

"Because she was about to verbally assault my friend and I'm way too Gallant for my own good." I explained smugly. Even better, it got a bit of amusement out of Amy.

"You're my sister's boyfriend, not a friend." Amy dismissed my friendship.

Ow. My feelings.

"Come on, we went through a hostage situation and had an uncomfortable heart-to-heart. I think that makes us friends now."

Amy actually took a moment to think about it. Thankfully, she was more amused than serious. "No, I don't think it does. I healed you twice and you protected me once. If you want to earn my friendship, you must be more than just a bit Gallant."

Ow, that one was a bit forced, but I'll take it. Even better, I have moved the conversation away from my amnesia. I surreptitiously began to pulse one last bit of good vibes and exhaustion into Amy so that she was too tired to go back to questioning my amnesia.

Amy signed and leaned back, exhausted by the day. Yes, good, relax and forget about asking me more questions I don't want to answer.

I felt my body relax once it was clear Amy wasn't going to press me any further. Okay, so this day has not been a total wash. Sure, a Villain basically knew my secret identity. Amy knew about my amnesia, and I should probably ask her to keep that a secret, and to make things worse, I didn't even get my money from the bank so I think I might have to cancel my date with Vicky. So that probably meant listening to her complain about that for an hour over the phone.

But hey, I had a heartfelt conversation with Amy and I think we're closer now. This day can only go up from here.

The door of the van snapped open and I looked over at the opening with a smile.

That smile died immediately.

Vicky floated menacingly in front of us. Her face was blank, but I could see it shift agonizingly slowly. Her eyebrows tightened into an angry furrow, her lips pursed and I could see her grinding her teeth. I imagined that if this was a cartoon there'd be building steam coming out of her head. I was a little rusty at expressions, but I was pretty sure she was angry.

Not worried angry. Angry, angry.

"It's not what it looks like!" Amy shouted in an embarrassed panic.

Not what now?

I looked around for a moment and then down. Oh. There's the problem. I was sitting next to Amy, right next to her since I had moved over when I was comforting her. Our hands were still intertwined and I had been smiling like an idiot.

Vicky took a deep breath before speaking. "Choose your next words, very carefully Dean. They will determine how slow your death will be."

My mind kicked back into high gear. I analyzed the situation. Thankfully, this was a simple problem. Vicky was stressed from worry and now she's found her boyfriend and sister holding hands and being happy. Stress leads to dumb and incorrect conclusions.

All I needed to do was to speak calmly and act like a rational adult.

"I can explain!" I squeaked and threw up my hands defensively.

Or I could panic and say the most cliché thing possible. Sure, thanks brain. You're batting ten out of ten today.

Vicky snatched my collar to drag me out of the van and immediately started throwing accusations at me while Amy screeched her defense behind me. I just let myself be shaken like a ragdoll and mentally braced myself for more pointless teenage drama.

Hopefully, once I dealt with this, I could finally get back to people that can act like adults.

 

[Santo]

Ah yes, the most noble of all occupations.

Keeping the Doomsday Whitemage zen and relatively level.

A most hazardous duty. But a necessary one.

 

[eeda]

Kek, this poor guy has the worst job... well maybe dealing with Taylor bullshit is worse but is a coint toss.

 

[Santo]

All hail the backlog. Because work was murder.

Blegh.

Thanks to Hero for fixing (some of) my awful punctuation.

Lemme know what you guys think!

---

Ersatz II.V

I intently ignored the glare coming from Beef McAnger-Issues as I lounged in my reinforced chair at our post mission debrief.

For that matter, Vista was glaring at me too. And while I couldn't tell if Clockblocker was glaring at me or not, his helmet had not deviated from me once since I sat down oh-so-long-ago, also known as three minutes according to my handy-dandy HUD.

Not to mention, Piggot was glaring at me enough for two people and then some. After giving us the silent treatment for shits and giggles, she finally began to speak.

"As surprising as I find the fact. I see that I must commend all of you for your decision to delegate responsibility to the BBPD when no Protectorate Hero could be dispatched." Piggot reluctantly doled out our yearly supply of praise. I considered speaking up and letting her know that the good decision was all me, but she continued before I settled on a decision. "None of the Wards have received the necessary training to handle an active hostage situation, so defaulting to the proper authorities was the correct decision."

I snorted. Not that we've received any training whatso-fuckin'-ever for that matter.

"Still, the way you went about it could be said to be reprehensible." Piggot paused, clearly waiting for me to interject. (Un?)Luckily for her, I didn't wanna talk to her, so I would only speak when told to. It would help minimize my contact with my technically intermittent boss. She turned her glare to Carlos. "Even if Kid Win was insubordinate, he was correct in this case. What exactly were you thinking you were going to accomplish by your half-cocked plan to back the Undersiders into a corner while they had over three dozen hostages?"

I stopped paying attention as she tore into Carlos and Dennis, something about switching costumes without permission, bad plans, and starting a fight in an area surrounded by bystanders. Boy, did all of these points sound painfully familiar.

I'm relatively certain she also tore into me about something, but I kinda wasn't paying attention. She didn't ask me to speak and she took my silence to mean whatever she wanted it to mean. So she got to lord all over us and I didn't have to deal with more of her bullshit than absolutely necessary. A win-win for Kid Win.

She demanded a quick debrief from the team. Browbeat (when did he sit down?) gave a short, stuttering report. Vista delivered her report with a snappishness that would have made the most stringent NCO proud, though if Beardmaster were around he'd probably say her report was neither succinct nor thorough enough.

Angry Beef-McMan sulked through his, and Dennis cracked a couple of jokes and got yelled at for it. Par for the course really.

Then her eyes turned to me, and it was a good thing that I didn't give a single damn what she thought, because man, with a glare like that? If I actually had any respect for her other than what was contractually obligated, it might have made me squirm. "What in God's name possessed you to give yourself up as a hostage?"

I shrugged and leaned back until I was balancing on the back legs of the chair I was sitting in. "Seemed like a solid way to get good intel on what was going on inside, what with how I streamed it to the police van realtime, reduced the number of hostages we had to worry about to one and a half dozen. And lowered the chances of a violent altercation happening where a whole bunch of squishy bags of meat could pop like soap bubbles on what would quickly become national television."

I pushed myself farther back, then had to lean forward not to topple backwards. "Besides, the PR department can probably swing that to be my 'heroic ideals' pushing me to put myself in harm's way for the safety of the people of the city…or something. Spinning this is not actually my job.

"Besides, the Undersiders are thieves. Smash and grabbers, they wouldn't have wanted the heat that hurting a Ward would have brought down on them, so overall, it was fairly safe." I turned my head side to side, my neck eliciting several loud pops. "Yeah, it was rather reckless, but I balanced the reward and my power armor with the potential risks and decided the odds were good. Besides, if a fight broke out, it would have taken me all of one second to be armed to the teeth."

Piggot's brow furrowed more than it already was, which was honestly impressive. "Your teleportation technology hasn't been cleared for field use-"

I scoffed and cut her off. "We both know that Beardmaster has been using my teleportation technology on his halberds for months now. It's fair game."

For just a single, fleeting instant, Piggot's face went from its usual resting-bitch-face setting to open surprise, it then morphed to much more familiar anger, followed by quickly resettling into its default state. "R&D will either confirm that, or it's your ass. When the debrief is over, be sure to meet with the PR department to get the statements you'll release to the public." Her eyes narrowed. "And why exactly are you wearing Gallant's helmet?"

"Yeah PR, god forbid we say anything from the heart."

Piggot slapped the table with the palm of her hand. "The helmet, Kid Win."

"Well, I don't see Gallant's name on it, it doesn't match his paint scheme, and since the last time I was caught in an explosion that caused not insignificant head trauma, I decided to come up with a most ingenious answer to the arcane dilemma that is cranial protection." I pointed to my head. "Helmet!"

"And what exactly is Gallant supposed to wear?"

I pushed the chair farther back. "He'll have to use the greatest superpower of all. Money! With that power, he'll get a new helmet."

"You will return Gallant's helmet immediately. And, if you want your own helmet, you'll requisition PR for a costume change and build one yourself."

I scoffed. "Yeah no, this is my helmet now."

Piggot's glare intensified. "Kid Win…"

"No, I meant it." I said, unable to keep the smile from my voice. "He left his helmet in my lab and then I had a Tinker Fugue. It no longer slots into his armor, and I have no idea how to change it back. Either I use it, or nobody does."

I was, of course, lying out of my ass. All my equipment could slot into each other and Gallant's armor. But she didn't need to know that. But this way, I should be able to finagle some more Tinkering budget out of her.

Hopefully.

Piggot must have a very good dentist. With how hard she grinds her teeth on the regular, she should be down to nubs by now. "You will build Gallant a new helmet immediately."

And there's my opening. "I'd kinda need a budget for that." I said with all the innocence of a shark scenting blood in the water. "I seem to have gone through mine."

Unfortunately, the door opened before Piggot could explode and inevitably cede to my very reasonable needs. And in waltzed Dean, PanAmy, and the Pavlov Barbie, ruining my machinations.

Dean didn't even bother to change into his costume, he was just wearing one of those shitty domino masks that were more a polite fiction about protecting his identity than an actual mask. Neither the Plague Ginger nor the Mindrape Bombshell were wearing masks, but that wasn't unusual.

Sidenote, Vista visibly perked up when Dean came in, she also very visibly became annoyed when Dean's on/off girlfriend floated in.

Dean sat down with a grateful sigh. Man, being a hostage really did not agree with him. He and Amy both looked like they hadn't slept in days.

Piggot waited for a moment, before prompting, "Glad you deigned to finally join us, Gallant. Do you have anything to report?"

Dean looked at her with that thousand yard stare of a veteran remembering bad things. "I would like to state for the record that police questioning is long and pointless."

While Piggot's face didn't change, I could all but smell the vindictive glee coming off her in waves. "Well while Dean Stansfield has answered all his questions, Gallant still needs to fill out his after action report."

Dean took a deep breath, digging into a well of patience significantly deeper than my own, and visibility calmed down. He straightened up, looked straight at Piggot and spoke professionally. "I was visiting the Brockton Bay General Bank as a civilian when the Undersiders arrived to rob the bank. As you probably already know, they have a new member who threatened everyone into submission with her control over poisonous arachnids. Once the civilians were a nonfactor, the Undersiders worked quickly and efficiently, making sure to only threaten the civilians and using their powers for more awe than any actual danger."

Dean paused, his expression flickering to one of concern and concentration as he chewed on his next words.

"Continue," Piggot demanded.

"Not much more than that, ma'am. I decided that discretion was better than valor in this situation and kept the civilians calm. The Undersiders are known for robbery and avoiding civilian collateral. Other than a few mean words from Tattletale, they left with Kid Win and the money."

"You 'kept them calm.' Is there any danger of your identity having been exposed?" Piggot pressed.

Dean frowned and looked thoughtful for a moment. He pursed his lips and exhaled softly before looking back at Piggot. "I didn't use my powers at all nor did I do anything outside what a brave, but ordinary, civilian could have done. So unless they can connect a random rich boy to Gallant, I should be safe."

By the conflicted look that flashed on Amy's face, that wasn't the entire truth, but Piggot either didn't notice or chose not to press it. My money was on not noticing.

"Good." Piggot did not look happy or impressed, but she did look a step further from constipated. "We'll keep an eye on the Undersiders for now. This kind of blatant escalation cannot go unanswered."

I was very tempted to mention how we had a revolving door policy on our holding cells, but as Dean said, discretion is sometimes the smarter part of valor.

Piggot blew some more hot air, acted important, poured a little more salt on Sad Salty Beef-boy's demonstrably poor attempt at leadership. She also reminded us to do our homework, I mean write our after action reports (apparently, I couldn't just submit a video for mine. Truly we lived in the darkest timeline). She then waddled off to do Piggot things: like taking candy from babies, making small children cry, or scaring the intern of the week.

We all shuffled out of the meeting room and made our way to the Wards area. As soon as the door opened I started on my way to the lab; power armor was a bitch to take off without power tools.

Something grabbed my shoulder hard enough for my HUD to give me a warning about pressure, before a significant force turned me around and I was face-to-pec with Angry Beefwall.

"Hey! What the hell was that!?" He loomed over me. Bastard, I'm supposed to be taller than you.

I did not deign to tilt my head back and spoke at his pec. "What was what?"

"You know what." Beefy McGrowly grumbled deep in his chest.

I activated the small hologram emitter I'd installed on the top of the armor and blink-clicked the icon so it would display a 'raising eyebrow' emoji. "Well, there's me stopping your stupid costume switch plan and getting Dennis killed? Stopping you stupidly taking command of a situation you had no training for? Or stopping you from starting a stupid fight in the middle of collateral central? Honestly, I could keep going. You're going to have to be more specific."

"Why don't we start with the insubordination and then move on to the blatant lying to teammates." He bit out.

"Uh…" Dean tried to cut in as he stared at the two of us. "What happened ou-"

"Well, stop doing stupid shit and I'll stop going over your head to stop you doing stupid shit." I said, turning the emoji hologram to a frowny face.

"Seriously, what happened outside?" Dean repeated himself, but neither of us paid him any mind.

"As to why I 'blatantly lied,'" I brought my fingers up to do air quotes, kudos to EZ-Beef for the big word, gold star buddy, "after three separate attempts to speak sense to you failed, I deduced that my time would be better spent doing smart things around you. It turns out, I was right."

"What the hell, Chris?" Vista attempted to growl, but with her cute twelve-year-old voice, it really did not work for her. "That's not how we do things. You know that."

I looked down the non-existent nose of my helmet at her. "No, it turns out that how we do things is: back a bunch of criminals into a corner, get them desperate, and then if we're lucky and they don't start killing hostages, we have a throw-down and maybe squish a whole bunch of people like the fragile meatbags they are so they pop like overripe tomatoes. So sorry I stopped that from happening, I'll take notes and make sure to do better next time." I turned off the hologram emitter on my helmet, turned my back on them, activated my backward-facing speakers and resumed my walk to the lab. "I would stand here and continue to exposit why Carlos is an idiot, but if you'll excuse me, I've got actually important things to do: like stare at a wall, pick my nose, or maintain this literally futuretech wonder of technology wrapped around me like a perfectly fitted glove."

As I walked off, my bullshit futuretech microphones picked up Collateral Pavlov's mutter. "So he isn't an asshole only to me."

Unable to leave that unchallenged. I threw one last comment. "For the record. I'm an equal opportunity asshole."

I really wished I could slam the door shut, but it was one of those stupidly fancy doors that receded into the wall with an entirely superfluous 'swoosh' noise. Fuckin' waste of my taxmoney. Note to self: Tear that thing out first chance I get, turn it into something useful.

I had taken the armor off and was elbow deep in a special surprise for the first asshole that would need it when the HUD on my glasses informed me Dean was coming to the lab.

He walked in and stood behind me, eyebrow raised. I wonder, did he know I was looking at him through a video window on my glasses? How far could he push the Thinker aspect of his power?

And more importantly, how long would I get to enjoy the blessed silence before he started talking?

The answer was sadly only a few seconds. Dean's damn Thinker powers probably told him that his silent judging was doing nothing.

He sighed and put on that, 'I'm only sixteen but I'm going to pretend to be your father,' tone that grated on my nerves. "Okay, so I'm just going to go out on a limb and give you the benefit of the doubt that you had a good reason for being, in Carlos' words, 'an insubordinate asshole', right?"

"Depends on your definition of 'good,' as that is a subjective thing, not an objective fact. Like the fact that Carlos is an idiot." I stopped soldering and put the tools away so I could turn around and face Dean.

Dean stared at me with an open mouth, completely frozen by my witty rhetoric and sophistry. His brow furrowed deeply and I could almost see the headache slowly forming in his brain.

I kept talking before he could interrupt me. "The longer answer would be that he failed to impress me with his tactical acumen. I'd go into more detail, but you were there for the debrief."

"Okay, okay." Dean took a deep calming breath. He looked like he was running out of patience. Poor guy probably used most of it dealing with Bitchy Beefington and the Teenage Mutant Copper Dumb Dumbs. "And you couldn't just convince Carlos to use your plan?"

"I tried. Multiple times. He wouldn't listen so I went over his head." I shrugged. "Even Piggot agreed that was the right thing to do. So that's that."

"That is that, I guess." Dean scowled at me for a moment before shaking his head. He must have agreed with me since he let it go. "Screw it. I'm going to be blunt. I've calmed Carlos down enough that he's not going to rip your head off. Don't say anything stupid or I'll be forced to use the therapy laser."

Dean held up a single finger that glowed with a light teal orb of light. I think he meant it to be threatening, but it was just such a calming shade of blue.

"Worry not, the wisdom of the ages pours from my mouth." I spoke objective fact while trying not to laugh.

"Somehow, I doubt that." Dean muttered under his breath as he turned to leave the room. "Just talk as little as possible. I'm pretty sure what you consider wisdom, the rest of us consider being an asshole."

I chose not to dignify that with a response.

Dean led me back to the little office to the side of the Wards area where the rest of the teenagers were already brainstorming. I was surprised by the fact that the walking Plague-Cauldron and the Fuckup Barbie hadn't left. All eyes turned to me

You know what? Screw you, Dean. I can be diplomatic if I put my mind to it. I'll go through this entire meeting in a perfectly diplomatic manner.

 

[Twisted]

Nothing says "Diplomacy" like a kick in the teeth.

This will go down like turning your local playpark slide into a giant cheesegrater overnight.

 

[Lapsta]

I don't get what is 'Deans' identity drama problem is. We change constantly every year of our lives. 'You' at the age of 10 is very different from 'you' at the age of 30 yet no one, usually, runs to shrinks screaming about 'you today' killed off 10 years old 'you'? It is still YOU.
Sure he took over and effectively killed old Dean..or maybe not, and the 'old ' one was dead and gone already anyway. Agonizing about things he has zero control over is plain stupid in my opinion. I blame too much 'humanitarian' education for that high-functioning sociopathy for the win, lol!

 

[Santo]

Nothing says "Diplomacy" like a kick in the teeth.

This will go down like turning your local playpark slide into a giant cheesegrater overnight.

Click to shrink...

Hah! I'm stealing this, because it's plain genius!

I don't get what is 'Deans' identity drama problem is. We change constantly every year of our lives. 'You' at the age of 10 is very different from 'you' at the age of 30 yet no one, usually, runs to shrinks screaming about 'you today' killed off 10 years old 'you'? It is still YOU.
Sure he took over and effectively killed old Dean..or maybe not, and the 'old ' one was dead and gone already anyway. Agonizing about things he has zero control over is plain stupid in my opinion. I blame too much 'humanitarian' education for that high-functioning sociopathy for the win, lol!

Click to shrink...

Reject reality, embrace sociopathy!

We have cookies.

 

[Heroslayer]

We've reached the fallout of this arc. The pieces have finally started to fall into place.

We'll tie up a few loose ends, and then the games can truly begin.

–

Ersatz 2.6

The Ward's main area was a modular room meant to be customized to the current situation. Detachable wall mounts, computers, monitors, the works. It was probably meant to be a prototype for some rapid response team able to adapt to any situation, but in reality, when you let a bunch of teenagers take charge of a room, it ends up in a barely functional mess.

Which made it the perfect background for a bunch of teenage heroes to have a meeting.

The rest of the Wards had already unmasked, but no one had taken off their costumes. Hopefully, the face to face thing would make communication smoother. I knew that I would be mediating a bunch, but hopefully Chris would take my warning to heart and make my job easier.

"I'm here, we can get started now." Chris sauntered into the room and I noticed that he didn't start with insulting everyone in the room, which meant he was trying. He was still annoying as shit, but he was trying. I'll take it.

Carlos flared with bright red anger at Chris' flippant attitude, but a pleading look from me managed to convince him to contain it. That relationship was going to blow up eventually, but hopefully it would be between the two of them and not drag the entire team into it.

There was a moment of silence, and I gestured to Carlos that he could start the meeting now that everyone was here.

That annoyed Carlos something fierce, but he stood up and determinedly started the meeting. I didn't need empathy vision to notice that he was annoyed with me as well, but the bruise-like purple that flared when he looked at me was aggressively noticeable.

I gauged the room. Everyone except for Chris was on edge. The tension was thick enough that it was making me nauseous. Carlos obviously was pissed at Chris. Vicky looked agitated, which was most likely aimed at me, but could easily also be at Chris. Amy was exhausted, which was par for course. Missy was annoyed at everyone. And Dennis was trying to keep up a strong front, but it did nothing to mask how worried he felt.

I noticed a distinct lack of bloodlust in the room.

"Are we going to wait for Shadow Stalker?" I asked even though I really hoped we wouldn't. Having Sophia and Chris in the same room was like having gasoline and a lit match next to each other.

"She's still at school. They didn't call for her, since she's so far away." Missy chimed in.

"Well, I guess she's not missing much." I nodded my thanks to Missy who lit up with a delightfully cute pink. Well, that's one way to boost Missy's mood.

Carlos rolled a whiteboard over and began aggressively writing on it. The loud squeaking irritated everyone's already bad mood.

"Okay, let's get this started." Carlos slapped a hand against the whiteboard. "I won't say that this mission was a complete failure, but there clearly was a bunch of things that we can improve on."

I saw Chris open his mouth and cut that off with a sharp elbow to his side and a discrete pulse of 'restraint.' I didn't need to see the sharp orange mix of mischief and spite to know that he was about to make things worse. He shot me an annoyed look, but thankfully kept his comment to himself.

Everyone else seemed to agree with Carlos. I don't think a hostage situation where everyone got out could be considered a failure, but I did the diplomatic thing and stayed silent.

"The Undersiders were mostly small-time thieves, but they've clearly escalated." Carlos started writing names down on the board. Grue, Tattletale, Hellhound, Regent, and then a series of question marks. "This is probably the best opportunity for intel on the Undersiders yet, especially since we had a man on the inside watching them work."

"I mean, it's not like they took me into the backroom with them as they robbed the place." I ran a hand through my hair. Carlos shot me another annoyed look and I could see his mood visibly worsen. Seriously, man, what did I do to you?

"I thunk he meant me, brah." Chris said. "You know? Guy with video evidence?"

"You mean, the several minutes of you teaching bug-girl how to gut you if you tried to escape? Because I'm pretty sure I have more intel than that." I cut Chris down before he could annoy everyone into fighting again.

"Eh, details." Chris shot back with a shrug.

"Wait, he did what?" Missy shrieked.

"Focus!" Carlos yelled and slapped a hand against the whiteboard. "Do we have a name for bug girl?"

"She didn't give a name." I shrugged. "She just threatened us with her bugs. She didn't say much after that."

"What, did she throw cockroaches at you?" Dennis grinned, valiantly trying to add some levity to the meeting. It was not effective.

"Enough cockroaches making a coordinated effort could strip a man to the bone in minutes." Chris piped in with a slasher smile. "But no, she used black widow spiders."

Dennis shuddered in fear and revulsion.

"Then we'll come up with a name." Aegis crossed his arms. "I'm open to ideas."

"Well, she used spiders. Clearly she's Spider-Girl." Chris said with an exaggerated sage nod.

"That's under copyright." Missy looked down at a laptop with a cape name database opened up.

Chris threw his hands up in the air, "How? Marvel went under like, fuckin' decades ago!"

"Yeah but the company that bought them still owns the copyright." Missy explained.

"Fuckin' Disney." Chris muttered.

"Didn't Warner buy Marvel?" Browbeat (what was his name again?) piped in.

"HISS!" Chris did not actually hiss, he spoke the word. "Speak not the Devil's name, lest ye bring its attention upon ye!"

Which kicked up an argument about Warner Bros and their latest movie. Vicky and Dennis valiantly tried to defend the latest Triumvirate movie, but Chris argued that they had trash tastes and that they should feel bad. According to him, Cinema was dead, and awful taste like theirs had killed it.

I ignored the teenage bickering and stared at the whiteboard in contemplation. I knew the name that came up from this meeting and I knew that Chris did as well. I wondered if it was even worth it to try to give Taylor a different name.

I shook off the brief bout of doubt. No, I should at least try. The last thing I wanted to believe was that there was no point in fighting Fate when I was trying to stop the Fated end of civilization.

"Well, if we want to keep the spider theme, Arachne wouldn't be that bad." I tossed out the first name that came to mind. "Though I'll be honest, I'm kind of hesitant to go all in on the spider theme. Seems a bit too specific for a cape power."

"Yeah, she had wasps in her hair, and I saw some flies flying in formation. Pretty sure she had every bug in the vicinity under her control." Chris said, surprisingly helpfully. I could see Vicky sulking in the corner of the room, so I'm guessing Chris won that argument

Dennis whistled in admiration and just a hint of fear. "Geez, that would make her what? Master 5?"

Carlos wrote bug control on the whiteboard next to the question marks. "Depends on her range, but that sounds about right."

"Stinger?" I offered.

"Already taken by a Tinker in New Orleans." Missy piped in.

"Chitin?" I tried.

"Taken by a Changer in New Mexico."

"Empress?" I threw out desperately.

"Pretty sure that was a really mean Master that got off-ed a few years back." Amy said.

Crap. I wracked my brain for a bug adjacent name that didn't sound like it was tailored for a villain.

"Skitter?" Dennis said slowly.

Double crap.

"It's not taken." Missy said after a few moments of looking through the laptop.

Crap baskets!

Chris shrugged. "I mean. It's pretty good. Bugs make skittering sounds. If she can control a whole buncha bugs, that skittering sound is literally the last thing you hear before the tidal-wave of ravenous chitin swallows you whole."

"Please stop insinuating that she's going to murder someone." I protested. "And it's kind of creepy for a name, isn't it? Like, it gives off very villain vibes."

"She robbed a bank with a bunch of highly venomous spiders." Amy said flatly. She was neither impressed by my defense of bug-girl, nor was she that invested in the conversation.

"One, it was Black Widow spiders. Girl had class and quality. And two, she looked really awkward and hesitant while doing that." Chris cut in again, then formed a fist and held it out toward Amy. "Believe in the heart of the cards Amy. We can turn her to the side of good!"

"You can't be serious." Amy nearly growled at Chris' suggestion. Her mood dipped out of apathy and into disbelief and vitriol. "She's a villain."

"And Sophia's a cowardly useless bitch who shot people with broadhead bolts, but we work with her nonetheless. At least Skitter tried to catch me when I jumped off the roof."

"She did what?" "You did what?!" "Oh my God!" "Dude!"

Everyone's voices collided into a mess of noise and I had to shut my eyes and take a deep breath before the kaleidoscope of colors gave me a migraine.

"What? I've got an anti-grav belt and rocket boots. It was perfectly logical." Chris seemed to ignore that his misleading words caused everyone to worry for his life and that by making light of it, especially when everyone was on edge, he just made all the Wards angrier at him.

"You. That." Carlos looked conflicted on whether or not he should feel worried or angry at Chris's nonchalance.

Chris didn't help by rolling his eyes. "Really? I used to fly around on a flying skateboard with zero safety features. Ain't nobody gave a shit then about the fact I was two seconds away from smashing my head on the sidewalk at terminal velocity! This is way safer!"

I could literally see the steam building in Carlos' head. Nope, none of that. I am not listening to another rant about Chris today.

I clapped my hands together, loudly. Everyone's eyes turned towards me and I could see surprise and confusion. Good, now that I have them off balance, it's easier to press forward. "Okay, I got a decent look at all the Undersiders. I'm not saying it's enough to build a profile, but I can give us a general range of what they were feeling."

I stood up and swiped the marker from an indignant Carlos. I quickly started writing on the whiteboard before anyone could regather their wits.

I wrote [focused] [annoyed] and [worried about the team] next to Grue.

Regent got [ambivalent] and [amused].

Hellhound just got some question marks. Next to it, I wrote [Emotional spectrum does not match human baseline]. I think I literally saw a Color out of Space from that girl. That or it was the panic attack giving me hallucinations.

I paused next to Tattletale's name but pushed forward and wrote: [confident] [playful] and [frightened.] I also added, [surprisingly spiteful] next to her name.

Finally, next to the question marks, I drew a little cartoon spider and added the comments, [worried about civilians just as much as teammates] [very determined] and [regrets robbing the bank].

"I'm not going to say that she'll suddenly be on the side of angels if we ask her, but it's clear that our Bug Cape was not feeling great about a life of crime." I stared back at everyone and dared them to oppose my insight. I could see that a few of them wanted to refute my argument, so I needed to hammer in my points. "She could have easily been a new recruit that didn't have any other choice."

Vicky huffed. "So what? They gave her an offer she couldn't refuse? Oh, maybe she needed the money for her mother's surgery. That stuff is just soap opera plots. Who would actually do that kind of thing?"

"I would." Chris stated immediately and with surprising conviction. "Hell, I'd do much worse for my family."

There was a moment of silence as everyone digested those words. While Vicky looked skeptical, it had actually gotten a few of the Wards thinking. Dennis in particular looked conflicted, but was learning towards agreement. Well, strike when the iron is hot and all that.

"It's a common trope because it's based on truth. When someone is pushed into a corner, their field of view narrows. They panic. They make bad decisions. Add in superpowers and the incident that gave them those superpowers," all the other Wards shuddered in unison, "and you have a recipe for a teenager in over their heads."

"So that just makes up for all her crimes?" Amy spat out, surprisingly venomously. So venomously that I actually had to pause before pushing forward.

"No, but it means that she might be able to make up for those crimes." I retorted and crossed my arms in defiance to her negative vibes. "The point of punishment is twofold. The first is to punish the criminal for the sake of the victim, but the other side is to allow the criminal the chance to reform. Ideally, the goal is to turn every villain into a hero."

It was something that I firmly believed in. I had to. I used to work with teenagers after all.

"Tch." Amy didn't seem to accept my argument. In fact, a lot of the teenagers in the room seemed skeptical of my idealism.

I was a bit too busy trying to cancel out the room's negative vibes with my own optimism, so I completely missed Chris opening his mouth to make things better and worse.

"What? A Villain rebranding as a Hero? That would never ever happen!" Chris said with a mixture of mischief and glee, and entirely too large a grin. "On that note. I wonder, what ever happened to Madcap?"

"Who?" Dennis asked. Everyone in the room was thrown off by the non sequitur.

"You know, the Villain that attacked Birdcage convoys and freed the villains that weren't utterly terrible human beings that the world was better off without? He was the one with that power that allowed him to store and redirect kinetic energy, you know the guy. He's absolutely unrelated to Assault, who only coincidentally has powers suspiciously identical to Madcap. Clearly Madcap and Assault are two very different people! After all, Madcap had a bunch of fights he won against Battery back in her vigilante days and early Protectorate career! Then she won and he vanished, only for Assault to debut a week later and partner with Battery! Tooooootally not the same guy!"

"Hey. Assault is a Hero!" Missy yelled angrily at Chris' audacity.

Chris' grin widened. "I know! That's what I just said! All I did was point out that Assault and Madcap are clearly and legally two different Capes!"

That ratcheted up the tension in the room as everyone suddenly had to grapple with the reality of that harsh truth.

"Oh my god, he's right." Missy looking up Madcap on the PHO database and seeing Chris had, in fact, not been full of shit, only exacerbated the issue.

"We're not here to debate what the Protectorate does with certain villains." Carlos did his best to regain control of the room. "So drop it."

Thankfully, Chris had already said what he wanted to say, so he just acquiesced and sat down in a golden glow of triumph. I could see everyone stewing on the information.

"Look, I just want to bring up the idea. I think she's in over her head and she could use a way out. If I needed help, I know I'd want someone to throw me a lifeline." I explained my perspective.

"Seriously, you're not even in costume. Is the Gallant thing just natural at this point?" Dennis quipped out. Out of everyone, he seemed to be the most accepting of the idea.

"What? No. I just… say things." I ignored the knowing grin on Dennis' face. He didn't need to know how much of my words were intentional. It looked better if it seemed natural. "Look, we'll leave the Bug Girl issue for later. Back to the bank robbery. We still need to figure out the 'whydunnit.'"

"What do you mean, why?" Dennis shook his head. "You rob a bank for money, duh."

"Okay, except robbing a bank for money is a terrible decision." I turned around and drew a crude bank diagram. "As someone who comes from an affluent background let me fill you in. Banks don't actually carry that much cash. Rich people keep their money in investments. Real estate, phony businesses, stocks, etc. The real 'money' that they do keep in a bank is electronic. No one actually keeps money in a vault like Scrooge McDuck."

Chris nodded, "They couldn't have made off with much more than, what, fifty thousand dollars, sixty tops? Not really all that much when you split it five ways, minus expenses."

"And Tattletale had to have known this." I added in. "She's not just a Thinker. She's smart. They weren't there for just the money."

Chris tilted his head toward me, acknowledging the point. "Not to mention the heat this will bring down on them."

"So maybe they're trying to build a rep." Missy offered. "Villains do this kind of thing all the time."

"Not in Brockton Bay." I disagreed. "All a rep does for you in the Bay is put a target on your back. The PRT have them on the radar now and if they try to stake some territory the gangs will eat them alive. No, this heist had a purpose. We need to figure out what."

I looked purposely at Chris.

Chris shrugged and walked over to one of the monitors on the wall. He typed on the keyboard the display changed to the city map along with recent Protectorate and PRT deployments. "What I find weird is that so much other crap happened at the same time, yeah, we have the off-town thing going on, but we had three whole Protectorate Capes still in the city, and they all simultaneously had to respond to other parahuman shit going on. It's almost like it was a…" He trailed off, his eyes widening as something sparked realization in his mind. He just remembered something important.

"A distraction." I finished for him as pieces slotted together in my mind. Tattletale's annoyance at being at the bank as well as not knowing why she was there. Someone was pulling the Undersider's strings, and we were pulled along with them.

Chris began typing frantically at the console. I watched in confusion as he worked himself into a panicked frenzy.

He continued to scroll through screen after screen of information as he shouted over his shoulder. "Someone call the cops! See if anything happened, a place that wouldn't normally be broken into got robbed on the quiet, a break in, something!"

Carlos was so startled by the sudden shift in mood and behavior that he forgot to be angry. "Kid, what are you talking about?"

Chris slammed a fist into the console, brought up a police report, then he punched the wall for good measure. "We just got played like a fucking fiddle!"

Staring us all in the face, was a police report of the kidnapping of one Dinah Alcott.

 

[Santo]

Sorry for the late post. Was busy Friday and Saturday. And most of today too.

On the bright side...stuff.

On even brighter side. More stuff very soon! Maybe even tomorrow!

Now, have yourselves the perspective of a very self-deluded 'hero.'

And maybe tomorrow, the perspective of another self-deluded...'hero?'

Man. Worm is weird.

Enjoy!

---

Intermission - Taylor Hebert

If someone had asked Taylor how she thought the robbery would go…

"Now knife on the body, that's important too you know? After all, most people won't hold your hand and teach you how to properly hold a knife to their throat…"

This would not have been it.

"It'll probably be going somewhere in the torso…"

Admittedly, she learned a lot about how to properly hold someone at knifepoint. But as an aspiring undercover Hero, that may not be among the things that she would be pertinent to learn.

Kid Win was a bit of an enigma. He'd never really stood out among the Wards. Not like Aegis and Gallant. He was usually just there, in the background or up in the air on his flying skateboard.

She'd never seen him as the one that would willingly put himself in peril.

"Hey Bitch!"

"What?"

"Can I pet your dogs?"

"No."

"Okay."

Yet he seemed so nonchalant in the face of danger. As if walking unarmed into an active hostage situation was an everyday occurrence. As if putting himself at the mercy of Villains and monsters, outnumbered and outgunned, in exchange for the safety of women and children wasn't a brave thing to do.

It was the type of heroism that Taylor had only ever read about. Keeping a strong facade in the face of adversity.

And here she was, holding a bonafide Hero at knifepoint, helping a group of villains hold people hostage while robbing a bank. Helping Tattletale use her Thinker powers to bully a brave civilian down to the point that he started hyperventilating.

For the first time, Taylor really saw that Tattletale was, despite her kind facade, a Villain.

Maybe this had not been as good an idea as she'd initially thought, but Armsmaster's words came to mind, and she firmed her resolve.

Taylor reminded herself that she was only doing this to learn who the Undersider's boss was then she was going to be a Hero.

"Ssssooooo. Just wanted to say, your hair? It's incredible. Mind telling me what conditioner you use? Cause holy hell, I haven't seen hair that good outside of a commercial."

Taylor at once was both very flattered that he'd noticed, and hated that she was holding such a nice Hero hostage. She had expected Kid Win to be completely sarcastic and difficult. But he'd done nothing but been polite and helpful the entire time.

Thankfully, she didn't have to hold him as a hostage for much longer. Grue declared the robbery a success and they left the bank under cover of Grue's darkness.

Her heart raced in her chest when they made their escape, fearing that the Wards would make a last-ditch attempt to capture them, even at the risk of one of their own. But Kid Win was as good as his word, they were allowed to leave without issue.

All that was left was what to do with Kid Win once they were in the clear.

When the Undersiders had circled Kid Win, she'd been forced to play along. And her heart had nearly leapt out of her throat when Kid Win jumped backwards off the building. Thank god he was a Tinker. The relief she felt when he simply hovered in place rather than falling the long distance to the ground, nearly drove her to her knees.

"Okay, boys and gals. Keep the thieving clean, hands mostly free of blood. Do your best not to drop any bodies, that way if you try to switch sides it'll make it much easier to get concessions and stuff. I'll even put in a good word for you." He'd said before complaining about paperwork and flying off.

Did he know? Had she slipped up somehow? Or would he say this to anyone to try and turn them away from the path of Villainy.

Would someone who willingly gave himself up to Villains for the safety of others lie about something so important?

"Tattletale," Grue growled, the smoke his power created adding an ethereal quality to his anger, "You said he wasn't a threat!"

"He wasn't!" Tattletale defended. "My power confirmed it! He was focused on flirting with Bug and not being a threat! He wasn't an issue!"

Taylor stared hard at Tattletale. Kid Win had been flirting with her? Tattletale must have gotten a bad read. Kid Win probably had some anti-Thinker tech or something.

Regent spoke up. "So he was focused on not being a threat, because, and I'mma need you to follow me on this one: at any moment he could have become a threat and thus was not worried about any of us?"

Tattletale glared at Regent and muttered something about fiddles.

"Umm." Taylor was very surprised that she spoke up at all, but the words tumbled out of her mouth without her input. "What about the boy? You know? The one that you said had amnesia, what was that about? It looked like you gave him a panic attack."

Tattletale rolled her eyes. "That wasn't some random guy, nor was he Panacea's boyfriend. That was a Ward, so it was fair game."

Taylor flinched. "Should you be telling us that? The rules…"

"Are more like suggestions." Tattletale retorted with a smirk that reminded her of Emma. "Besides, it's not like I told you which one. It's fine."

But…the only Wards that hadn't shown up were Gallant and Shadow Stalker, Kid Win had said as much, that Gallant had been 'too busy for heroics.'

He'd been too busy, because he'd been at the bank when the robbery started, and the first thing he did, out of costume, surrounded and covered in venomous spiders, was try to keep people calm and stop Tattletale from hurting one of the best healers in the country.

Like a hero.

Unlike the girl who had threatened all those people with said spiders and sat back as her teammate verbally induced him into a panic attack.

Maybe joining the Wards wouldn't be so bad after all? Not if Kid Win and Gallant were in them. Maybe Kid Win would help Taylor stay away from Armsmaster, screw that guy.

Whatever. Focus on the important things. The Undersiders got in, got out, nobody got hurt, and Taylor got to see a couple Wards up close. She didn't have to fight anyone, and if Kid Win was to be believed, she hadn't burnt any bridges.

It went well with the wins she'd had at school, with Emma and her cronies being forced to leave her alone by suddenly much more attentive teachers.

Yeah, definitely not a good day, but not a bad one either.

The Undersiders all split now that the job was done. Lisa had then dragged her along for pizza, though she was slightly thorny the rest of the day. Mentioning that the heist had gone the best it possibly could have only seemed to sour her mood further. Still, Taylor felt confident that things were going well.

 

[Unseen Runesmith]

Still, Taylor felt confident that things were going well.

Click to shrink...

Somehow, Golden Morning happened the very next day.

 

[eeda]

Not goin to lie i was expecting Victoria to riping a new one in Gallant not a Taylor chapter but the mental gymnastics she got there we're hilarious.

 

[Santo]

Somehow, Golden Morning happened the very next day.

Click to shrink...

Hah! That would suuuuuuck.

Not goin to lie i was expecting Victoria to riping a new one in Gallant not a Taylor chapter but the mental gymnastics she got there we're hilarious.

Click to shrink...

Yeah. Taylor's ability for self deception is incredible.

 

[Mephis]

I'm really enjoying this fic! Seeing an SI like Kid Win is a breath of fresh air for me. And Gallant is a nice foil for him. Keep up the good work!

 

[Santo]

Behold, as promised more stuff!

I did not at all almost forget.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Here is the other intermission before Arc 3, let us know what yall think.

---

Intermission - Amy Dallon/Panacea

Things were going terribly for Amy.

The last couple of days had been a whirlwind of activity, and Amy could find much to complain about.

She thought that there would have been a media circus around her being held hostage by the Undersiders, but everyone seemed more focused on Kid Win giving himself up as a hostage. Which meant Carol hadn't given her anything more than a cursory lecture about safety and image. It wasn't like one of her daughters had been in danger or anything.

Vicky had stuck to her side, which had been nice. The downside had been listening to Vicky complain about Dean. Vicky's gallant boyfriend had apparently been too busy for them to reschedule their double date. Thank god for small mercies.

Though Amy didn't miss that the longer it took for Dean to settle back down and have time to talk to Vicky again, the longer it took before Dean actually talked to her about his amnesia. It also meant the longer it took before Vicky had her look at Dean's brain because of his missing memories.

She didn't want to rehash the brain conversation with Vicky.

She didn't do brains.

"Ugh!" Think of the devil. Vicky floated over to the couch and dropped down next to Amy in a dramatic huff. How she made flopping onto the couch so graceful, Amy would never know.

"What did Dean do this time?" Amy sighed and prepared herself for another tirade.

"It's not Dean! We're just taking a small break because…" Because Vicky thought that Dean was seducing Amy and threw a fit. Even Amy had been a little annoyed at that leap in logic. She loved her sister, but what the hell. "Anyways, it's Chris. I just wanted to talk to Dean about meeting up this weekend and the little shit just kept cutting me off. He's been such a bastard lately. What the hell happened to him?"

Amy had noticed Chris' sudden distaste for Vicky. She hadn't really thought about it much other than some disdain thrown at Chris for his bad taste. But now that she thought about it, hadn't Chris' personality taken a complete and sudden shift? He was angry all the time now. Like he was trying to compensate for something missing in his life. Something important. Like…

Shit.

"Vicky, how long has Chris been a bastard?" Amy asked suddenly.

"What?" Vicky turned towards Amy and started counting on her fingers. "Umm… a few weeks, actually."

"Would you say that it was around the same time that Dean…" Lost his memories. "Got hurt in that cape fight?"

"I mean, yeah. That sounds right." Vicky looked thoughtful. "Hey, didn't Chris also miss a few days of school around that time?"

Yes. He did. Because he had been caught in the same Tinkertech explosion that Dean had been in. An explosion that could have done anything, because Leet's Tinkertech was so unpredictable.

It could have, hypothetically, wiped both of their memories without leaving any physical trace.

"Wait a second, didn't Kid Win and Gallant both get caught in that Tinkertech mishap with Leet a few weeks back?" Vicky questioned. Damnit, why was Amy's sister so smart? Wait, why was this a bad thing? Shouldn't Vicky know that Dean has been lying to her? But then that'll hurt her, because she didn't notice. She'll blame herself.

Amy wanted to drag Dean in here and take care of this himself. This was his problem, not Amy's.

But before Amy could throw Dean under the bus, Crystal ran into the room and snatched the remote from Vicky's hands.

"Hey!" Vicky protested reflexively. It wasn't like either of the sisters were watching the television, but it was the principle of the matter. Snatching the remote was grounds for a tussle in the Dallon household.

Crystal ignored her and turned the television on to a news report.

A news report that was showing a sky view of Brockton Bay. The reporter was trying to yell over the loud noise of the helicopter blades when they were cut off by a flash and a boom.

The ABB Villain Bakuda had just made her Brockton Bay debut, with a very literal bang.

 

[Heroslayer]

Alright, we've gotten to Arc 3 and probably some of my favorite parts of this story so far. Expect things to accelerate and boats to rock.

–

Derail 3.1

I was a rock of serenity in an ocean of chaos.

All around me, people were yelling at each other. Not because they had any good points, no, the time for coherent discourse ended fifteen minutes ago. Now everyone was just throwing emotions at each other in the form of words. It was actually a little painful to watch when you could actually see those emotions in technicolor.

Brockton Bay had debuted a brand new supervillain, and because this city was apparently a nexus of misery, it did so with a literal bang. Several of them.

Bakuda, the ABB's new Tinker, was some sort of bomb specialist. She showcased her technology by blowing up several buildings in the city. And because powers suck, they didn't just explode, they did random things too. One of the Medhall buildings was now encased in some sort of ceramic that seemed to freeze anything that came into contact with it for longer than a second and one of the city's DMVs was half in place and the other half was in the middle of the bay. Including half of a cashier.

So needless to say, everyone was rather on edge with Bakuda on the loose.

"-orders are to stay on base for the foreseeable future. Piggot wants us on standby to reinforce any Protectorate capes that find where Bakuda is hiding." I tuned back into Aegis repeating our standing orders for the nth time today.

Kid Win clicked his tongue. "So, translating to actual spoken English. You were told to go to your room and twiddle your thumbs while the adults continue to fail to take care of it and people continue to die. Like, I know 'Protect and Serve' is just a slogan, but come on!"

"Kid Win!" I've seen Aegis get pretty aggravated at Kid Win's lip, so I couldn't say if this was a bright shade of red for annoyance or darker red that meant he was actually spiteful, it all kind of blended together at this point. "I've had it up to here with your insubordination. Our orders are to stay on base, so that's what we're going to do."

"I mean, he's not exactly wrong, is he?" Clockblocker added. Aegis shot him an annoyed look, which cowed Clockblocker for a moment, before he gathered his resolve. "We're heroes, right? We shouldn't just be hiding in safety. We should be out there, helping."

"Also you used 'insubordination' wrong. I haven't disobeyed any orders recently. That was just plain disrespectful behavior." Kid Win added in his 'helpful' two cents.

Well, now I was sure, that shade of red was definitely spite. Aegis was building up to another explosion and it was only his pride holding it back. If he gave in and yelled at Kid Win, he lost, and they both knew it.

"We could at least request to go back on patrol, right?" Vista offered the only mature and constructive solution. "We need to at least ask. If Piggot says no, we can ask why and work from there."

Aegis's bad mood was not helped by everyone basically agreeing with Kid Win. I could see that he didn't really want to be the bearer of bad news and wanted to go out there too, but his job was to be the leader. So that meant being the target of everyone's restless mood.

"Fine, I'll put in a request to meet Piggot and discuss options." Aegis conceded, looking like he swallowed an egg.

Kid Win scoffed and threw his hands up. "Then piss into the wind, you'll get more done that way. I'mma go do something useful, you lot continue to sit with your thumbs up your ass until Piggy doesn't have a choice but to toss you into the meat grinder."

Kid Win got up and left in a huff. It was a familiar sight. So was the various annoyed looks everyone else shot his back and the general feeling of frustration that colored the room.

"The meeting isn't done." Aegis barked. He may as well have talked to a brick wall. Well no, the brick wall would have been polite enough to not talk back.

"Don't worry, I prepared a substitute." Kid Win clicked something on his armor, and a person sized clown balloon with 'Kid Win' crudely stenciled on it teleported to his chair. "See? Now we both get what we want. It's not like this meeting will be any different than the last five. In fact, I'll show I have Thinker powers. I hereby predict that the next meeting you will tell us we are to continue to stay in base, on standby, ready to reinforce the PRT or Protectorate when we are needed." Distractingly, his voice somehow came out of the balloon. "By the way, technically this is insubordination. Now you know!"

Kid Win left, leaving only silence in his wake. When the door to his lab closed, Aegis growled and threw a vicious jab at the balloon substitute. It bobbed right back up mockingly, seemingly unphased by the anger directed at its creator.

"Well, that was productive." I said my first words of the meeting after letting everyone scream at each other.

"Some help, you were." Aegis growled at me. He had been shooting me constant signals to intervene the entire meeting. Signals that I ignored. "You do realize that reining him in is going to be your job soon."

"Not for a bit, and not until after Clock has a run at it." I shrugged casually. Clockblocker blanched and I could actually see the horror flooding his head.

"Dude." Clockblocker choked out with fake humility. "It's just a few months. You're going to be the one in charge in reality. In fact, let's make it official. Gallant, you're in charge for those three months."

"Sure, sure." I nodded regally. "Then with my newfound leadership privileges, the first thing I'd do is make Kid Win's mood your responsibility for those months, Clock."

"What? You can't do that?" Clockblocker turned to Aegis. "Wait, can he do that?"

Aegis looked thoughtful, but I could see the spiteful glee and inspiration light up his aura. "Actually, why not. Gallant, I order you to go deal with Kid Win. In fact, that's now your job."

"I mean, it's not that hard of a job. Not like Kid Win spends that much time outside of his lab." I shrugged, and did my best to keep my face straight.

"Yes, but in those few minutes outside of his lab, he's done nothing but be a pain in my ass. If he's not being insubordinate, he's picking fights with Shadow Stalker, or pissing off one of the adults." It was a testament to the high tensions that Aegis completely forwent polite language. "You're the only one that can stand the guy at the moment. So he's your responsibility now."

Jackpot. I now have a perfect excuse to talk to Kid Win privately any time I wanted. I just needed to wait until he made a scene and left. Which I could probably time like clockwork.

"Hey, we're all supposed to be teammates." Vista once again decided to put a dent in my plans by being the voice of reason within this gang of misfits. "You can't just dump Kid Win on Gallant like he's a stray cat."

"But picking cats out of odd places is Gallant's new speciality," Clockblocker joked.

"Haha, funny. Still, we do need to do something about Kid's new attitude." Vista shot Clock an annoyed look which only got a finger gun in response. "And just throwing Gallant at him isn't a real solution."

"It's an attitude that Gallant is uniquely situated to settle." Aegis shot back, desperate to throw me under the bus here. Then again, I had been letting Kid Win needle him more and more over the last few days to thin his patience for the Tinker. So, fair. "I'm just being…uhhh…pragmatic and using my teammates efficiently."

"Right, I guess I should start on that." I made sure to look a little reluctant before agreeing with Aegis' mandate. Nobody likes to be manipulated, so the key was to let them think it was their idea. Vista looked like she wanted to help, but I waved her off. "He'll probably be worse if it looks like we're ganging up on him. I'll talk to him alone and try to get him to lay off for a bit."

"Please." Aegis looked done with Kid Win's shit and was ready to take any solution.

I wonder if I should apologize for letting it get this bad. There were plenty of opportunities to keep it from escalating this much. Nah. That would make things worse. Aegis'll just have to settle with Kid Win only being his normal amount of annoying rather than this extra dose.

—

The doors to Kid Win's lab opened with an eerily silent motion. Didn't these things used to swoosh?

"You have ten seconds to say something useful before I shoot you out of my lab." Kid Win was looking down at some sort of device that he was soldering and didn't even look up to greet me.

That was fine. I was done with the waiting game. I only had so long before the house of cards fell apart around me. So it was time for action.

"I think we should disobey orders and go after Bakuda ourselves."

There was a beat of silence as Kid Win froze before wiping down the soldering iron and putting it away. He spun his chair around and steepled his fingers in front of his face. I think he did something with his helmet since the eye portion lit up white as he stared at me.

"...You had my attention. Now you command my curiosity." I think he was going for cool and collected, but I could see the riot of emotions rolling through him.

I felt a little bit of glee at throwing him off, but suppressed it to get to the point. "We both know that we can't just sit around doing nothing."

"I have been saying this since literally the first day, yes." Chris said, both annoyed and smug at the same time.

"Right," I conceded that point. "So obviously, Piggot is not going to let us go out on patrol any time soon. Heck, when she is eventually forced to let us out, we're probably going to be relegated to spots far away from the ABB."

"Correct."

"So I was thinking, instead of sitting on our asses for a few weeks, we use this time to actually make progress with the whole… uh…" I wasn't quite sure which was more important. The mayor niece getting kidnapped by a supervillain or the crazy asian lady with a bomb fetish.

Chris decided to fill in with answer C. "Omnicidal space whale?"

Wait, was that a thing? That sounded familiar.

"Y-yeah… No… I mean… eventually, sure…" I guess Chris caught my hesitation there, because his mood suddenly sharpened and shifted from amused curiosity to sharp focus.

"What, exactly do you remember of our shared situation?" He demanded.

Shit. Okay brain, redemption time. Think fast.

"Okay, so this is a world of fiction, or at least it's based on a piece of fiction." I started spitting out words that meant nothing to buy time.

He shook his head. "The specific quantum mechanics of multiverse theory are not goddamn important to our situation."

Well, there goes that stalling tactic. Well, time to go blunt and hope for the best.

"Okay, Skitter is a villain. Skitter is a hero. Skitter is a villain again. Shit happens. Rocks fall on a lot of people. Skitter saves the day." I painted the entire saga in as broad of terms as possible. Which was a very simple way of saying I remember very little.

Kid Win stared silently for such a long time that it got awkward. I wasn't quite sure what to make of the kaleidoscope of colors he was emitting. "You remember…nothing. Don't you?"

Okay, no. But I'm not about to outright admit that to him.

"I remember that Bakuda is a villain and we need to stop her because something really dumb is going to happen with Skitter." I retorted.

He slapped a hand on his visor and rubbed it up and down. "Okay, okay. The situation is significantly worse than I assumed it was. But I can work around this. Because someone has to."

I really didn't like the mix of despair, anger and powerlessness oozing up into Kid Win's aura.

"Great, so why don't you fill me in then." I said slowly, keeping a close eye on Kid Win's emotions.

Kid Win continued, off on his own little world. "Okay. Okay. I see that it falls to me to be the power behind the Throne and steer things away from Armageddon. It will be considerably more difficult than I at first imagined, but I can adapt. It's fine, all you need to do is sit down, shut up, do as you're told, and everything will turn out alright. Probably."

Okay, now I was annoyed. He wasn't even joking. He genuinely was resigned to dismissing me as a minion. No, not even a minion, a tool or a liability.

"Yeah, I'm going to need you to step back on the martyr complex." I crossed my arms and huffed.

"It's not a martyr complex, dumb dumb. Not when it's the fuckin' truth."

"Sure, now if we can-"

"So it falls to me, to be as Hepheastus handing Harpe to some random asshat. I shall make you Mighty, and then you'll be useful."

I'll give him points for the literary reference, but that's all he's getting. "Okay listen here, bootleg Ironman."

"That's uncalled for."

"Let's get this straight. You're not a god and I'm not some dumb kid that can be tricked into a dangerous quest because you want to bang my mom. Now let's actually talk about what we can do to save the city, because this is going nowhere. Work with me here."

Kid Win snorted and dismissed me. He even went back to Tinkering as he talked.

"No see, here's the dealio. Original Gallant was fucking useless. Tragically, he had one chance to be useful, and blew it. I'd held some hope for you, but just like almost everything and everyone else in this armpit of a reality, you're a disappointment. So no, I will not," he raised one hand and did finger quotes, "'work with you.' You're fucking useless and it falls to me to fix that. So I repeat, sit down, shut up, do as you're told, I'll try to make sure your ex-girlfriend doesn't end up a blob."

Actual rage flared up in my mind.

I wasn't sure if I was hearing things, but there was definitely a snapping noise ringing in my head. I had been dealing with teenagers for weeks at this point and I was a little tired of the constant stupidity and drama. So being dismissed as useless by the boy that spent more time mouthing off to adults than actually communicating like a human being pressed a very specific button. Hard.

I decided that I needed to teach Chris a lesson in manners.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with you." I snarled, "But I am trying to help."

Always leave them a lifeline, even when it's clear they will never take it. That way, when you cut them down, you have the moral high ground.

"And until you can stop thinking like Carlos, trying is all you'll manage. But until then, you remain largely useless, which is why I'll outfit you with useful shit. So be a good little meat shield and stay out of my goddamn way." Kid Win lifted a hand and waved dismissively towards the door. "I'll be nice, and try and make sure you live past your expiration date."

Good, now that he's doubled down, I can knock him down without feeling guilty.

"Okay, I'm tired of the god complex here. You're not invincible nor are you all powerful or some sort of god in the machine." I laughed humorlessly and stepped forward into Kid Win's personal space. "You're not infallible. In fact, you are so fallible I can break you with a single word."

"Yeah, right." Kid Win scoffed. He had already billed me as useless in his mind and thus harmless. I was the good boy that couldn't harm a fly. Fine, I'll prove him wrong right here and with the best target available. Him.

I called up a potent cocktail of despair, doubt and powerlessness and formed it into a pitch black orb. I condensed it onto the tip of my finger, ready to ruin someone's day. Now all I needed was a few words to help guide his mind towards the correct thoughts and you had a portal breakdown. I had to thank Tattletale for the inspiration.

In fact, thanks to Tattletale inducing a panic attack in me, I had just the line of thought to get someone in our situation to panic. Though I'd probably need a slightly different angle since Chris didn't seem the type to worry about the existential thought of murdering someone to live. Ah, I know.

"No, wait, I just need six words." I probably shouldn't model my wrath after a fictional character at his second worst, but I do love my homages.

Chris got up and stepped into my personal space. "Bitch, give me your best shot."

Cute.

I leaned down next to Chris' ear and paused for a moment. Both to build the tension and to make sure my next statement was actually six words. My hand snuck up and gently tapped his arm in support as I spiked the orb of despair into him.

"Do you remember your previous family?" I made sure to say those six words as friendly and gently as I could.

I stepped back to enjoy the fallout and the weirdest thing happened. At first he lit up an amused vindictive yellow, but then doubt began to creep into his aura, then worry. I could see Chris' brain start to wind itself into a circle as my little seed of despair crawled down his aura before planting itself firmly.

Then for the first time, I could see Chris without his Aura getting in the way. It was as if he'd gained whatever protection Vicky had. And then between one breath and the next, the blackest void swallowed the space Chris had been standing in.

I felt both incredible violent revulsion and immediate regret at the tangible sight of pure distilled despair.

"Shit." I whispered as I watched a literal emotional breakdown happen before my eyes.

What was I thinking? There had been a better way to do this. This was just cruel. That wasn't like me at all. I took a step forward to comfort Chris, to take back my words. Something. Anything to help.

"I'm sor-"

The last thing I saw was the barrel of a gun peeking out of the miasma.

The last thing I heard was a quiet bang.

 

[Lapsta]

Never liked Gallant, his replacement seems to have inherited some of his worst traits. Hope that hurt

 

[Faralis]

And this "Kidwin" is more of a raging asshole than a real human being. They deserve each other. And Earth Bet deserves them...

 

[Lapsta]

And this "Kidwin" is more of a raging asshole than a real human being. They deserve each other. And Earth Bet deserves them...

Click to shrink...

Well, he sure is. That said, I doubt many would keep perfect manners in his place. He for all he knows, he is only one who truly knows what's at stake, and no Cauldron doesn't count. And all he has to count on, is some questionable helper, in form of 'Gallant' who knows so little he might as well be original one, worse what he does remember makes him feel he knows enough to feel entitled to intrude with his 'valuable' opinion. So potentially harmful and as 'Kidwin' said-useless.

 

[Santo]

Yey! Social activity!!!

Never liked Gallant, his replacement seems to have inherited some of his worst traits. Hope that hurt

Click to shrink...

That was uncalled for. >,<

And this "Kidwin" is more of a raging asshole than a real human being. They deserve each other. And Earth Bet deserves them...

Click to shrink...

Hey hey hey!

Assholes are people too. ;__;

Well, he sure is. That said, I doubt many would keep perfect manners in his place. He for all he knows, he is only one who truly knows what's at stake, and no Cauldron doesn't count. And all he has to count on, is some questionable helper, in form of 'Gallant' who knows so little he might as well be original one, worse what he does remember makes him feel he knows enough to feel entitled to intrude with his 'valuable' opinion. So potentially harmful and as 'Kidwin' said-useless.

Click to shrink...

Kid Santo does have a point or three. But he made them in such an outstandingly aggressive and obnoxious way, they got lost.

 

[Faralis]

I suppose I should add, that if I was inserted into Earth Bet, I would also be a raging asshole to everyone, including myself. Specially myself...

 

[Twisted]

Not cool, damn near cut myself on the edge of that cliff you left us with.

 

[Santo]

I suppose I should add, that if I was inserted into Earth Bet, I would also be a raging asshole to everyone, including myself. Specially myself...

Click to shrink...

A man after my own heart.

Not cool, damn near cut myself on the edge of that cliff you left us with.

Click to shrink...

You uhh...you might wanna build up some resistance to those. >,>

Hero's a pretty big fan of Korean dramas. I hear those are all about the art of the cliffhanger.

 

[Santo]

Aight, was gonna wait until tomorrow, but this chapter's burning a hole in my...erm...that saying does not apply all that well here...hrm.

ANYWAYS!

Behold the exciting conclusion of the kerfuffle of last chapter.

Word of warning. This chapter is...dramatic. And if thoughts of suicide are a thing that you do not enjoy or may cause you issues, you might not want to read this one.

If that is not the case, enjoy, we worked super hard on this chapter.

---

Derail III.II

I looked at the unconscious body of Dean, his chest rising and falling. He was, thankfully, finally silent. No more of his barbed words could claw their way into my brain.

But that couldn't stop the ones already mauling my thoughts.

A moment of introspection was enough to see that the reason I had been working so hard, pushing myself to Tinker to exhaustion, was so I wouldn't have to think.

I was alone.

Worse, I couldn't remember when else I had been. I knew I had a family, a sister who was at once my best friend and my worst enemy, but I couldn't remember anything else.

I couldn't remember the sound of her voice, try as I might, her face was as smoke through my mental fingers. I knew I had a mother, but was she alive? I had a vague feeling we had been close, very close.

She must be so worried.

She must be.

Or was I as bad a son as I was a teammate? Was I as much of a disappointment to her, to them, as I was to myself? I knew that my parents got on my nerves, but that's what parents are supposed to do. Well, that and offer quiet support, which presumably they had and I had hopefully reciprocated.

The absence was glaringly obvious now that it had been pointed out to me. Like a cut, raw and bleeding, that I had failed to notice due to adrenaline and shock.

But try as I might, I could not remember their faces. The sound of their voice was a mystery. Their proper place in my life was only visible thanks to the gaping void they left in their absence. A void I'd been frantically trying to fill without acknowledging its existence.

I was alone.

I glanced down at the weapon.

I didn't have to be.

What even would be the point of continuing on? It's not like Kid Win got anything useful done on the first go-around. I wasn't lying when I said Gallant fucked up his one chance at usefulness, I just hadn't mentioned that Kid Win had not even had that much. I was not the Chosen One, I would not be the one snatching an impossible victory from the golden maws of defeat.

We were insignificant in every sense of the word. Utterly incapable of agency. Everything would play out the way it would play out. The Space Whale would go on a rampage, trillions would die. Taylor would kill it.

Hell, if anything, my being here would just sabotage that. Could I be certain that my stunt at the bank had not done so already? There are few bonds as strong as those forged in combat, combat I denied.

My being here would just make things worse, like a cancer subverting the body's immune system. The only moral thing to do would be to remove the cancerous cells. Cleanse the parasite so the organism lives on.

My loss would not cause any significant damage to the endeavor, after all, Kid Win had been utterly inconsequential, achieving nothing of note, his only victories a hollow misery. If anything, removing myself would increase the chances of those that remained, since my arrival I had been nothing but a disruptive force in the Wards, pushing them nearly to the point of dissolution. I had refused Taylor an opportunity to grow as a combatant, perhaps sabotaged her ability to bond with one of the few people who could give her necessary insight into defeating Scion.

I was alone.

The only moral thing to do was to remove myself.

I wouldn't have to be alone if I removed myself.

Gallant groaned as he opened his eyes. My non-lethal rounds only knocked people out for 20-30 seconds, anything powerful enough to last longer had the chance of complications. Vomiting, nerve damage, organ failure, aneurysms. And of course, the most common and severe side effect of all.

Death.

It would be immoral of me to remove myself, and leave the cancer healthy. Besides, there would be some poetic justice in two cancerous cells removing each other before they could metastasize. I might even do him the favor of leaving an option for an open-casket funeral.

He was shifting while I'd reached the conclusion of what must be done. I changed the pistol's setting to lethal, the necessary components teleported into place. I'd had to hide that setting pretty thoroughly to get it past Beardmaster, but as in all things, all I had achieved with my hard work was a way to hurt people, and ultimately inconsequential.

I looked down at Dean as he regained his faculties, his eyes moving back and forth as they gained clarity, as he realized where he was.

Ensuring an open casket would merely result in extending his suffering. And I had brought enough pain and unkindness to this world, if I had to put him down, the least I could do for him would be to ensure he did not suffer. I put the red-dot in the middle of his forehead.

A small ball of the most inspiring shade of blue I'd ever seen hit me in the chest.

Suddenly, against my will, I gained some perspective. Sure, there was the chance that I would make things worse, but there was also the possibility that I'd make them better. Do or do not is bullshit, everyone has the right, the obligation, to try.

But was that worth the risk? Trillions of lives hung in the balance, a balance I had already disrupted. If there is anything my existence in the last few weeks had made perfectly clear, it was that I very clearly lacked the wisdom to play God.

Should I really be the one to dictate the future? Me? The one who could not handle playing in the kiddie superhero league?

If not me, who?

I looked back at Gallant.

One should always strive to minimize cruelty.

It would undoubtedly be cruel to invalidate his struggle against the inevitable. But what is more cruel? To let him toil and suffer in a sisyphean task and put the totality of humanity in danger, or to kill him and let fate play out a tragedy I knew could be survived, sacrificing trillions so that millions may live?

My hands trembled under the enormity of the decision, only the servos in my armor ensured I could keep the pistol trained on Gallant's chest.

A second, bigger ball of blue light slammed into me, this one hard enough to make me stumble back a few steps.

Not only was I being cruel, I was being stupid. Defeatist. Taking, as an asshole like me would put it, 'the coward's way out.' If my sister knew what I'd been thinking, she'd clobber me.

I found the fact that I did not understand how or why I knew this, very distressing.

A third ball of blue light half again as big as the last hit me, this one hard enough to send me skidding back until my back slammed against the wall, and the world finally regained color. The last minute caught up to me, and I had to scrabble my helmet off so I could puke without drowning myself.

"I fucking hate you." I growled between heaves.

"That's fair," Gallant said slowly, a fourth ball of light sitting over his entire fist pointed at me. His other hand cradled his stomach, right over the spot my stun round had hit him. "I kind of hate you a little bit too."

That's fair. I was man enough to admit, I had, to a rather enormous extent, brought that upon myself.

The two of us stood there, in the most awkward Mexican Standoff ever.

I brought a hand up to my temple, my head didn't hurt, but it helped, somehow. "It was all so clear, I think. Looking back on it, it feels like a fever. Just cold, instead of hot." I absently put the safety on my pistol and set it down, not trusting myself to return it to non-lethality at this particular moment. I moved away from my puddle of vomit and sat down to hyperventilate in peace.

"So…" As usual, my peace did not last nearly long enough. "Do you feel like talking now?"

You know what? Fine, at least I can spread the misery.

---

Explaining the whole of how fucked we were to Dean took a while. "But we got lucky, and Golden Doodad can't do it because his other half got lobotomized. Otherwise we'd be majorly fucked. That's the short of it. Now you know." But I persevered, if only because fuck talking about this later.

"Okay, I'm going to shelf the hundreds of questions that the info dump brought up. Because, dude, what the fuck?" Gallant did not look like he was prepared for today, welcome to my last several weeks buddy. "And just ask the important question, which is what can we do to stop that."

"Nothing. We can't. Scion may as well be an Idiot God. But it knows fighting, if enough people get ready, it'll just kill us all." I said, taking a sip of water.

"Well, that's good. I didn't really plan on fighting a god." Dean still looked a little uncomfortable that the blunt and simple way was not an option. "But there still has to be something we can do."

"The only thing we can do to mitigate the apocalypse is make sure Skitter survives. She's the Chosen One. Our literal last and only hope for the continuation of civilization. Maybe try and make a few more people live through the End Times. Maybe save Dragon, she can help with that."

"So we can do things, you're just too depressed to see that as helping." Gallant said flatly.

I glared at him. "Trillions of lives hang in the balance, trillions we may have already doomed to die purely because we kicked the Chosen One off the correct path."

"Or, we could have made things better and a few trillion less people will die." Gallant spouted more hopeful bullshit. "Either way, if we're going to keep Taylor alive, we should probably stop the crazy bomber in the city that is blowing up places at random."

"Bakuda is not that important. We can leave her to her fate, we just need to make sure Skitter doesn't die during the chaos." I spat, trying to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth, the little wheeled drone I made a while back zoomed over and slurped up the vomit I had left completely unattended. That thing wasn't rated for organic waste, that would be a bitch and a half to clean up. "Though now that I think about it, the best way to make sure that objective is ensured, would be to blow Bakuda's brains out. Yeah, good plan. Glad we thought of it."

Dean looked flabbergasted at me when I mentioned the logical thing to do, then shook his head and said. "I'm going to ignore the murder vibes since you just had a breakdown." Rude, I thought we were ignoring that. "Why do you keep saying you're disagreeing with me when you agree with me?"

"Because you looked surprised when I said we should kill Bakuda." I said bleakly. "This isn't the time for Superpowered Cops and Robbers or Batman's 'thou shalt not kill even when it is fully and objectively justified' bullshit. We are literal killing machines, insignificant gnats trying to kill God for the privilege of continued existence. We don't have the time for kiddie shit."

"Okay, half baked Nietzsche, let's step it back." He countered. "If it looks bad and we need to kill her, I'm not going to shed tears for the woman putting bombs in people, but I'd like us not to default to murder. Tends to set a bad precedent."

I shook my head. "One, Nietzsche was a much kinder man than me. Two, and I'll repeat this until I drive it through your Carlos-rated skull-plate. The stakes are literally too high for the humane approach."

"You know what. Go ahead, murder a bunch of people. Get yourself labeled an S class threat." Dean agreed mockingly. "I'm sure that'll go great with the kill order on your head. What's your plan for that, dumbass."

I rolled my eyes. "The 'plan' is plausible deniability."

"Yes, because the world full of super powered Thinkers is going to fall for a teenager's first resort when something goes wrong."

"Well, when you use an entirely mundane IED or an entirely mundane rifle. And the third best Superpowered Thinker's input on this is 'somewhere between blue goat and red bubuu,' they're of course going to immediately go 'Kid Win did it.'"

"You're literally speaking gibberish now, which I'm guessing means you're running out of ideas." He stared at me like I was a particularly slow child. "I'm going to say this one more time, and hopefully you'll disagree but agree with this. Stop Baduka, yes. Kill Baduka, if necessary. Let's not be murderhobos, since that labels us as the Slaughterhouse. Dumbass."

I kept eye contact as I walked to one of my stations and printed a piece of paper I wasn't supposed to have access to. And held it out to him.

"The great basalt pillar rumbles in disquiet, the orchard shudders in its poisoned rampage, but stands tall." He read off in absolute confusion. "Okay, I'd say your poetry sucks, but even you're not this dumb. What the hell is this?"

"That's the warning Watchdog gave forty minutes prior to Behemoth showing up and nuking New York." I spat back. "That's the most coherent warning Watchdog gave."

"Okay, yeah, but aren't Endbringers just weird to Thinker powers?" He looked at the paper with a raised eyebrow. "That's not going to protect you."

I printed a second paper and held it out to him.

"'The Flesh Carver shall fall, and rise, and grow ever greater as its eye becomes unerring'…and 'something pretty bad is about to happen in New York.'" Dean read with increasing exasperation.

"And that's the warning they gave a few days before Quarrel killed Butcher the XIVth and became the XVth along with a bunch of other nonsense to muddy the waters." I said. "I could keep going."

"Okay," Dean looked at the papers slowly as the gears finally started to turn in his head. "So, I'm guessing that makes Tattletale something of an exception, because she was very coherent as she basically figured out my secret identity from small talk."

I blinked. "Okay one: Yes, she and Dinah are absolutely the exception. Two: Hee Hoo Hold the fuck up! Say what!?"

Dean had the audacity to look a little sheepish.

"Yeah, so Tattletale looked like she was going to say some pretty mean things to Amy, and I vaguely remember that being bad. So I kinda sorta said some mean things to her to get her attention. Long story short, she figured out I'm Gallant and then verbally bitch slapped me with my missing memories. It's kind of how I figured the whole six words thing might work since it gave me a panic attack myself."

I felt my eye twitch, but pushed it down, now was not the time. "Probably for the best, the Plague Cauldron is notoriously unstable. Tattletale tipping it over for the funsies could have led to disaster."

"Okay, seriously, you need to stop with the names." Dean glared at me, "And also, rude. She's a healer, not Bonesaw."

I pointed a finger at his nose. "One, no, they're how I cope with existential dread, I am owed this." I raised a second finger. "Two, the only thing stopping Amy from being Bonesaw on steroids is her own flimsy moral fiber and her current state of mind. I'm not sure what that state of mind is, but I recall that her moral fiber was pretty fucked up. You prevented the first step towards the plague apocalypse, so I take it back, you've managed to be a little useful. Congratulations, now you can go back to proudly babysit the Teenage Muta-"

Dean raised his fist, the (still very reassuring) blue energy sheathing it suddenly pointed at my face. I noted that this one was no longer the size of his fist, but now the size of a large watermelon.

On the one hand, it was a little intimidating, but on the other, it was just such a hopeful shade of blue.

"Okay, in your words. One, I'm a little too busy babysitting the idiot in front of me, so no." Dean countered, and I had to admit, if only to myself, I walked into that one. "Two, we've gotten off topic. Bakuda. Stop, yes. Kill, maybe. Your answer, yes or no?"

I gave him the most obnoxious grin I could, and resolutely called his bluff. "Maybe."

I had just enough time to take great pleasure in the displeasure that showed on his face, then the blue light shrunk to the size of an apple and slammed into my chest. The impact drove the air out of my lungs and made me stumble back, but despite everything, I felt that even if we had some trouble working together, we could do it.

Goddamnit, even when he's being blatant, his power is insidious.

Still, we could make a plan, hash things out so that idealistic stupidity buoyed deterministic nihilism. I felt that, even if our chance was minute, it was still a chance.

And we had the right and the obligation to try.

Fuck. I can't wait for his power to wear off.

 

[Twisted]

Oh god, Gallant directly weilds the power of 'Freindship', 'Love' and 'Hope' as a bludgeon, he's too powerful!

 

[Santo]

Oh god, Gallant directly weilds the power of 'Freindship', 'Love' and 'Hope' as a bludgeon, he's too powerful!

Click to shrink...

With the right Tinker Tech, he might be able to fire the vaunted 'pink beam of friendship.'

He must be stopped before it is too late!