Summary: The clear blue skies, the briny sea, the free life of a pirate... What isn't there to love about One Piece? Okay, sure, there's a genocidal and super restrictive World Government. And sure, there's all kinds of dangerous Devil Fruit users crawling around the globe, and the baseline durability of the worlds' citizenry is way more than a normal human's. All I know is that I'm stoked as hell to be here! Even if I have to deal with BROB. [A complete remake of an old fic of mine, with rewritten and changed plot threads, better writing and grammar, more comedy, and more fluffy catgirls.]
Ripples in the Ocean
Chapter 1
ROB's Really Get on My Nerves
-Xomniac- Hey, man, looks like you're back in action.
-EvanAlmighty- Yeah, well, for the time being at least
-EvanAlmighty- I'm stunned I've been able to write this many chapters for my new Naruto SI
-Xomniac- Well, maybe, but anything is better than months of nothing, right? At least you've been able to write a few chapters.
-EvanAlmighty- Yeah, true. You know, I've actually been thinking about Ripples. My old One Piece Self-Insert? The… actually not embarrassing one.
-Xomniac- Oh, yeah.
-Xomniac- Man, it's been a while since you did anything with that.
-EvanAlmighty- I know, right?
-EvanAlmighty- Well, anyway, it's kind of been on my mind recently. I have some plans with Law and stuff, but I don't really know how to implement them. Maybe have them save Evan's eyes. I dunno, I remember talking with Patient about this, but I wanted to run it by you, too.
-Xomniac- Well, I'm always down to toss ideas around!
-EvanAlmighty- Thanks, man. I just… You know, one of the reasons it's been on my mind is… man, it'd be really cool to actually be in our self-inserts' shoes, right? Well. Maybe not Evan's. Having functioning eyes is nice.
-Xomniac- Yeah, true. Maybe not Cross's, though, either. I mean, would you
want to be horribly scarred from suffering millions upon millions of volts of lightning through your body?
-EvanAlmighty- Oof. So true. Still, being in One Piece, man? You don't even have to be a Straw Hat. You can start your own crew, see all kinds of neat things…
-Xomniac- Die a horrible death to a genocidal government.
-EvanAlmighty- Hey, man, dying young as a badass pirate beats dying young to covid. Or dealing with fucking climate change. Man, I'd give anything to be able to go there. Actually make a difference, you know?
-Xomniac- Hold on, why does this feel familiar?
* Rather Omniscient Bitch has entered the chat *
-Bodaciously Redonkulous Opportunistic Bullshitter- You rang?
-Xomniac- ...Fuck, that's why.
-Xomniac- ...Um... good luck, buddy?
-EvanAlmighty- …
-EvanAlmighty- …
-EvanAlmighty- ...Real funny, Xom.
* ReallyRealEvanSG has left the chat *
-Bodaciously Redonkulous Opportunistic Bullshitter- ...Huh.
-Bodaciously Redonkulous Opportunistic Bullshitter- ...Well, this is awkward. ...Don't suppose you want to actually become Cross?
-Xomniac- Fuck, no.
-Bodaciously Redonkulous Opportunistic Bullshitter- Then I have a runaway to catch~
~~☠~~
Annoyed, I slammed the screen of my Envy x 360 shut and folded my arms in front of my chest. Really, I didn't know what the hell Xom was thinking. Did he really think I'd appreciate him trolling me like that? I had no idea why he'd thought that would be amusing, but that was just rude. Adding someone named with
those initials into our DMs while we were talking about being in One Piece?
I'm stupid, not an idiot.
Still grumbling to myself about it, I sighed, opened my laptop back up, pressed my pointer finger against its fingerprint scanner, and tapped my foot in boredom as I waited for all my automatic apps to load back up. I stared out the window at my Ohio landscape while my VPN reconnected to a Chicago server. I also purposefully forced Discord closed out of spite. When everything was ready, I pulled up YouTube.
Let's see… what to watch? Maybe some
RuffSenpai or
Semblance of Sanity? Nah, I wasn't feeling reaction videos today.
Rational National? Politics were too depressing for my mood at the moment, so no.
LinusTechTips? ...Well, that looked like an interesting new video, but I decided to save it for later.
GrandLineReview?
Sure, why not.
I hovered my arrow over the video, titled
BEST and WORST One Piece Islands to Wake Up In and raised an eyebrow. That seemed like an interesting video idea. Shrugging to myself, I clicked on it, expecting the normal greeting from Liam only to stare at the skull and crossbones with the twisted grin on its face that took up the entire screen instead. I blinked rapidly in surprise. I didn't think I'd pressed fullscreen mode, what the heck? I tried scrolling my mouse around, but no arrow appeared.
My brows knitted in concern, which grew considerably as the skull and crossbones… rolled its eyes and started talking to me.
"Jeez, honestly, Evan, that was rude," it said in the voice of Johnny Depp, and I just stared.
"...The fuck?"
Okay, I must've had some seriously bad mushrooms or something. I again tried my mouse, but it still wouldn't work. Getting pretty nervous that my computer had been hacked, I hurriedly pressed the power button and held it down, but to my increasing horror, no matter how long I held it down, it wouldn't force a shut down.
Uh-oh.
"Yep, sorry, I'm real~!" Johnny Depp's voice sang through my laptop speakers.
"Trying to run from an omniscient being, Evan, really? And a bastard one at that? You know better!"
"...Shitbiscuits," I mumbled, slumping back in my chair. "Let me guess, no time to prepare, time dilation, yada yada yada?"
"Oh, look, he knows something!"
My teeth ground together. My eye twitched. "You're a reeeaaaal fucking bastard, ya know that?"
The skull and crossbones' actual crossbones tilted up, and then back down. I got the feeling it might have been shrugging.
"It IS in the name!" it shot right back, not missing a beat. Wondering what the fuck was even my life and what I'd done to deserve this, I groaned and cast my eyes up to the heavens wearily.
"Okay, look, you and I both know I was just fantasizing and I didn't actually mean it," I tried to reason with it, but it was not having any of that.
"Coooool, cool," it hummed.
"Counterpoint: I don't care."
Grgrgkrkrgkrgggh…. "Can you just…" I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut. "Can you just please not drop me out of the sky?"
"If you want! But you won't get a Devil Fruit that way. Or a partner who has a Devil Fruit, depending on how much of a bitch I feel like being."
My hand slapped my forehead. "MOTHERFUCKER."
"AHAHAHAHA!"
"Fine, fine, just… just get it over with," I grumbled at last, accepting my fate. "You fucking asshoooooooollllllleee!" And right as I had started to say that last bit, my stomach dropped a mile as I became completely weightless for a brief, horrible moment. My eyes opened reflexively, and I stared in terror at the flawless blue sky above me before my free fall into the gates of Hell began.
The way I'd ended up in the air caused me to slowly flip over headfirst, and I noticed with no small terror the water quickly rushing up to meet me. Thank
hell I hadn't ended up, like, miles in the air; I must've only been dropped like ten feet or something.
I had barely enough time to twist my body into an impromptu dive, ridiculously thankful that I'd had nine years on my local swim team, before I hit the water with an enormous
KERSPLOOSH. I dove down deep, quickly angling my body upwards. I did
not trust the seafloor's height level; if I'd been dropped near an island, it would likely be close enough to the surface of the water that my momentum might carry me down to the bottom.
My head burst out of the water seconds later, and the briny stench of seawater filled my nostrils as my mouth opened and I sucked in a desperate gasp of air. I tasted salt from the water dripping down my face, but I didn't care because
holy shit, I was alive.
I treaded water, cursing the fact that I had been dropped into it while I was wearing my jeans and green t-shirt. They weighed me down, and my phone in my pocket was thankfully waterproof but wouldn't do me any good unless BROB had taken pity on me in the same way that he'd taken pity on Cross.
Thinking on that, I made a mental note to
definitely keep an eye out for hungry snails if I still wanted to have access to the damn thing.
Once my heart had finally calmed down and wasn't in danger of beating out of my chest, I took the opportunity to spin myself around in the salty water, which felt brisk, but not chilly enough that I was worried about any danger. My eyes scanned for signs of land, which I didn't see until I'd started to reach a one-eighty. Relief filled me; the island was fairly close, within swimming distance. It'd be a hell of a swim, but I could make it.
Studying it, I couldn't tell what island it was, which was both worrying and somewhat a relief. It wasn't similar to any of the islands in canon One Piece, which meant I wouldn't have to deal with any of the problems associated with them. So that was good. On the down side, it also meant I might not be on the Straw Hats' path, or heck, I might not even be in the right
Sea. I could be on the damn Grand Line for all I knew. Plus I would have to deal with whatever potential problems would be present on
this island, without the benefit of foreknowledge.
It had a fairly normal-looking skyline; deciduous trees and rolling hills, a curved bay like a crescent moon, and several fields of wheat and other crops that I could spy on its hills. A village rested on the harbor, and some fishing boats were out and about closer inland. If I was lucky, this meant there weren't any Sea Kings around. If I was unlucky, it only meant that the fishermen and/or fisherwomen were strong enough to take out a Sea King without much effort.
Unfortunately, it didn't seem like any of them had noticed my fall. None of the ships were coming to get me.
"Damn you, ROB," I whined, then, resigning myself to this development, I took a deep breath and started swimming.
~~☠~~
A little over an hour later, I finally reached the shore and pulled myself out of the water. Thoroughly exhausted, I sank to my hands and knees in the warm, white sand, and promptly flopped over onto my back with a long groan.
"Never again," I wheezed, arms rebelling against me. They ached all over; and I lifted aluminum car parts for a living, so you know if my arms were tired, they were tired. "Never again, not once."
I allowed myself ten minutes of rest, and during this, I had time to consider my situation fully.
First, I was in One Piece. I had actually ended up in
One Piece. It was the kind of thing I'd been dreaming of for
years. I'd spent hours imagining different scenarios where this would happen and what I'd do, I knew for a fact that millions of other fans of the show had done the same thing, and
here I was. An excited, nervous, and scared laugh burst out of my chest.
I almost choked on some salt water that was still dripping in my mouth, so after hacking and coughing it out, I decided against continuing with that.
Second, my phone worked. And the battery life read infinite, too, so, that was that. Guess I was getting the same basic starting gear Cross had. I discovered this fact after digging my phone out of my very heavy, water-logged jeans, which stuck to my legs uncomfortably.
Third, if I stayed out here in the sun too long, I'd get sunburn, so I needed to head into town and find a way to get myself lodging, actual money, and food. And information.
Maybe a person to train under, too, if I could find someone.
Getting to my feet, I wiped my brow and walked up the beach to the town. A slight breeze drifting through the air felt nice underneath the hot sun. As I reached the edge of town, I noticed that most of the buildings were either brick or wood.
Directly ahead of me were some docks, where a crew of men and women packed fish, clams, crabs, and other seafood into crates labeled
Baratie in bold, simple font; some crates were labeled
Loguetown. I let out a long sigh of relief. I was in the East Blue! At least now I had a general idea of where I was. I walked up to one of the fishermen and raised a dripping hand in greeting. I also breathed in the scent of the fish. Man, it smelled good. Weird, considering it was raw fish.
"Ahoy!" I called out to him, and he and his friends looked up at me oddly. "I don't know where I am. Can you tell me which island this is?"
I blinked a little bit and frowned. Did my voice sound weirdly high or was it just me? I'd always had a higher-than-average voice for a guy anyway… Maybe there was just salt caught in my throat or something.
The guy's eyebrows rose as he took in my appearance. "Uh, sure," he said slowly, blinking. "You're on Ventswell Reef."
"Oh," I muttered, rubbing my chin. Ventswell Reef… not a familiar name for sure, but I'll take it. "And, uh, what part of the East Blue am I in?"
Now I was getting some seriously weird stares. "How do you not know…?" the man started to say, but shook his head and evidently decided it wasn't worth the headache. "We're fairly close to Loguetown and Conomi Islands. Best stay away from Conomi, though. That's Arlong's territory."
Ah, now that was helpful. If Conomi was still considered Arlong's territory, either Arlong hadn't yet been defeated or news of his defeat hadn't yet reached outside ears.
"And would you happen to know where I can get some work?"
Exchanging glances with his friends, the fisherman shrugged. He was tall and broad shouldered, his skin tanned from years spent working in the sun. His biceps and triceps were huge. "Savant Dojo's been hiring for a janitor," he suggested, rubbing the back of his head. "It's a small pagoda in the center of town. Only building of its kind, really stands out. You can't miss it."
"Oh, thanks," I said, waving goodbye as I turned and headed into town.
With a goal in mind, I walked through town, taking in all the sights in awe. A part of me still couldn't believe all of this was happening, but it was so damn cool! I was in a town in the world of One Piece! As I marveled at it all, I happened to notice a bar on my left, and I paused, a thought crossing my mind.
I should probably go inside and check on the wanted posters, just in case. I could always stowaway on one of the cargo ships to Loguetown if need be.
Because I wanted to join the Straw Hats if possible, for sure.
Mind set, I nodded, entered the bar, and looked for the wanted posters. It seemed that the wall to the left was dedicated to them, so I made my way through the mess of tables and people sitting at them. Wrinkling my nose at the sharp scent of beer, I scanned the wanted posters for any sign of Luffy.
No dice.
That probably meant that Luffy hadn't defeated Arlong yet. Knowing this, I formed a plan: I'd train up at the Dojo, then hitch a ride to either Conomi Islands or Loguetown, if the Straw Hats didn't find me first.
I set back onto my original path. Five minutes later, I spotted my destination and jogged the rest of the way there. By this time, I was already a lot drier, except for my clothes, which were still completely soaked.
I knocked on the door to the pagoda, which looked odd in the middle of all these western-looking brick and wood buildings, and waited. A couple minutes later, it was opened by a man with blue hair, pink eyes, and… four arms?
I stared at his arms, blinking.
"Hello, there, stranger," the man said cheerfully. "How can I help you?"
I blinked again and shook myself out of my stupor. "Oh, uh, I'm here to apply for the janitor position," I said. "I woke up on the shore. I guess I was in the sea or something, because, well…" I waved my hands over my sopping clothes. "Anyway, I don't really remember much, and I need a job, a place to sleep, and money."
"Quite a story," the man said, sizing me up. "Well, you seem like a nice enough kid."
"It's been quite a day," I admitted, then frowned. "Also, I'm 22," I mumbled.
"Kid," he iterated smoothly, slapping me on the back with two arms. The force of the hit made me stumble forward with an oof of surprise. "Come on in, I can get you fixed up with some lunch and we can talk about things then."
Gratefully, I stepped inside after him. The back of my neck instantly felt much cooler now that the sun wasn't beating upon it.
Inside, I gazed at the center of the pagoda in awe; a bamboo matt floor stretched for about twenty feet, surrounded by a board walkway that had seating and a few tables here and there. On the left, a set of stairs rose up to the second floor. A sliding door had been fitted into the wall at the back of the room, and I wondered where it went. There must be a kitchen back there or something, because the four-armed man smiled at me, said, "Wait here, alright?" and quickly made his way back to it.
On the bamboo matt floor, a group of about thirty kids, teens, and adults stood in rows before a man wearing black martial arts robes. All of the students wore white robes. Some of them had four arms; some of them didn't. I swore I even saw a catperson and a dogperson.
Half-Minks, maybe? Law's North Blue-based crew had a bear Mink in it. It wouldn't be all that surprising if they had found their way to the East Blue, too.
Musing this odd sight, my ears perked when, twenty minutes later, I heard the door slide open, and my nose picked up the scent of cooked fish. My mouth
watered, distracting me from the fact that normally my sense of smell was garbage thanks to my allergies constantly stuffing it up. The four-armed man emerged from the door, a plate of fish and glass of orange-colored juice in his hand. He brought these over to a table near me and smiled, motioning for me to come sit with him. I quickly did so.
"Man, that fish smells good," I gushed, eying it hungrily. It had only been a couple hours since I'd eaten last, but I'd
also just swam for an hour. I was starving.
The man snorted in amusement, his eyes flicking up to the top of my head for some odd reason. "Thought you might like that," he said with an amused grin, and I sat down. He set the plate and cup in front of me, as well as some silverware. I dug in, nearly crying from how good it tasted.
"How did you know I would?" I asked after swallowing the
absolutely succulent fish.
He snorted, again looking up at the top of my head. "Call it an educated guess," he said with a raised eyebrow as if that was a stupid question, and my enjoyment of the fish began to fade as suspicion rose within me.
Hold up a moment. Why did he keep glancing up like that?
...
Higher than normal voice, better sense of smell, unusual enjoyment of fish, and wet shirts were heavy, but were they really that
heavy…?
...ROB, I swear to the God I don't believe in, if this is even
remotely what I think it is… I reached my hand up and felt at the top of my head. Fuzzy ears sat there, twitching as I touched them and noticed them for the first time.
Paling, I reached down and grabbed at my chest, feeling a softness and sensitivity that did
not belong. Not as much softness as I'd expected to find, though, given the world I'd landed in and the artist who drew it and its characters.
Welp.
I was a damn catgirl.
"Goddammit, ROB," I whined, slamming my head into the table beside my plate with a heavy
thunk. My phone pinged, and I slipped it out of my pocket to glance at it warily. A Discord message popped up on it with a ding.
Bodaciously Redonkulous Opportunistic Bullshitter
*Your suffering is my amusement~*
Okay, but, like, did it really have to be a catgirl? I groaned mentally, while the four-armed man in front of me just blinked in confusion.
Ding!
Bodaciously Redonkulous Opportunistic Bullshitter
*Consider this karma for all the fem-Cross omakes you wrote. What goes around comes around!*
...I
knew that was gonna come back to bite me in the ass one day! Fuck! Well, I at least knew this new form wasn't a Devil Fruit, since I'd been able to swim and hadn't sunk to Davy Jones's Locker, so I must be a half-Mink. That was a relief, but… fucking periods, oh fuck.
Ding!
Bodaciously Redonkulous Opportunistic Bullshitter
*I actually gave you a little mercy. You won't have to go through those. Buuuuut I did take away something in return, though, so don't expect to be able to use Electro~*
...Okay, that was
kind of helpful and a sacrifice I was willing to make to not have to suffer through periods, but I still wanted to kick his omnipotent ass out of spite. Seriously, if you were gonna turn me into a girl, you couldn't at least make me a busty Oda woman? I had to have
average proportions?
Aw, man.
"Is something wrong?" my host asked, genuinely confused. "Who's Rob?"
"Don't worry about it," I deadpanned. "You're better off not knowing. Anyway, about the janitor position?"
He blinked and shrugged with four arms, which was weird to look at. "Ah, right. Well, what's your name? I don't think you introduced yourself."
My mind stammered as I tried to think of a name to use with my new body. "U-Uh, E… Eve. Eve Johnson."
"Are you fine waking up early in the morning? Like at around six o'clock?"
"Yeah, no problem."
"Know how to sweep, mop, and cook?"
"Yep, yep, and yep," I confirmed, nibbling on impossibly good fish.
"Able to lift fifty pounds?"
"Easy."
He grinned and gave me four thumbs-up. "Great, you're hired."
I blinked and stared, mouth hanging open a little. "Wait, really?" Was it that simple? I sat back in my chair, shaking my head in disbelief. Was this guy alright?
"Yep," he confirmed with a nod. "You can take one of the empty rooms on the third floor. The last janitor left it when he hopped islands, so it's yours. Lodging's free, so you don't have to worry about that. Your shift starts at six forty-five in the morning, breakfast is at six-thirty. You'll be done at two in the afternoon. We can get ya some new clothes too, if you want, since those look kind of ruined. Can't be comfortable with your tail, either."
I realized belatedly that yes, I did indeed have a tail, too, and it was very uncomfortable without a tail hole.
"Thanks," I said, still stunned at how easy it had been to get a job. Last time I'd gone on a job hunt, I'd went three weeks without a job.
"No problem," he laughed, clapping me on the shoulder. "Now go ahead and finish up your food and drink and go get a bath. You smell like a wet cat."
Still a bit shocked, I did as he said and took a moment to find the third-floor bathroom. I stripped my clothes off, blushing a little as I noticed my new body in all its glory, and sank into the tub.
My first day in One Piece…
A bubbly laugh rose up and out of my chest, grinning. Despite everything, I couldn't help but be excited. I put on some One Piece music and sat back in the tub, basking.
It's a pirate's life for me~