AN: This chapter is extra long because I'm absolutely committed to the next chapter being the last chapter of the mortal prologue. It's taken me a lot of effort and I'm tired now, so I'm posting it with almost no editing. I will edit it later though. Hopefully there aren't any narrative-breaking typos.
I closed the door to Theo's office behind me. There hadn't been much of a reason to rush and my veins felt like they had cold water running through them. Also, my stomach was churning. Theo was sitting at his mahogany desk with Robin standing behind his chair massaging his temples. If this situation bothered her, you couldn't tell it by looking at her.
"Theo..." I said in a low tone that was almost a whisper, "what the frag did you do?"
It wasn't the killing. The 9-to-5ers had been more numerous, despite being significantly less powerful or influential, but their deaths had been clean. It wasn't even the manner of the Nuke's death. I'd seen worse in the Barrens and more than once. It was the fact that it had been Theo that had done it. He'd crossed a line I never wanted to see him cross.
"I showed Mother that I've learned my lesson," he quipped.
"No!" I shouted, "You don't get to blame this one on her! Maybe she sent them, maybe she didn't, but you still decided how to respond!"
Theo looked me dead in the eye and didn't blink, "Didn't we say we'd have to make examples out of some people? I may have crossed a line, but these people are safer because I did."
I took a deep breath to keep myself calm and moved forward into the room. As I did, Theo waved for Robin to stop and she pulled back. She leaned up against the far wall and folded her arms, not really having a dog in the fight apparently. I put my hands on his desk and leaned in.
"You think I give a frag about the Nukes? I don't. But doing these kinds of things will change you. Do this enough and you'll become someone you don't recognize. Someone
I don't recognize. Are you really ready to lose your soul over this?"
Theo sneered but I could see the fear in his eyes. My words were reaching him, but he wasn't out of the dark yet.
"I will become whatever I have to to take care of these people."
I slammed my fist into his desk so hard the whole thing shook, "NO! You won't! You'll become whatever your Mother wants. You let her change you like this and eventually she'll make you into someone who doesn't care about them at all. Or me. Or Robin."
Robin unfolded her arms and started to take notice of the conversation. Theo looked at me, still with a hardness in his eyes, but also a desperation. He turned in his chair and fixed his gaze on the wall.
"I couldn't...I just..." he swallowed hard and his breathing became heavy and ragged, and I knew the tears weren't far, "I didn't want these people to think no-one cared about them. That
I didn't care. If I had done anything less..."
He bowed his head and shook it, but never completed his thought. Robin moved from her place at the wall and got down on one knee in front of him so she could look up at him.
"You really don't know, do you?" she said.
"Know what?" he asked, looking back and forth between me and Robin.
"These people already love you. I don't know if Miho's right or not about you changing, but I can tell you that if you thought you had to do this to prove yourself, you didn't. "
Robin had given me an opening. I had to strike now.
"If you want to protect these people, you have to protect them from
yourself too. If the world isn't going to enforce any consequences on you - and you know it won't - then you'll have to struggle a lot harder than most people to maintain your morals and your ethics."
Theo....
smiled?
"There's going to be consequences for me. You're going to find out very soon now, " he looked up at me, "I have one last secret left to share. "
I waited, but it didn't seem he had anything to add. Until...
"We need to work out the funeral arrangements."
The Squatter's Mall graveyard had doubled in size. We lost more people to the Christmas Day Massacre than everyone other attack leading up to it. Not everyone had lost someone, but everyone knew someone who did. So we'd had to restrict in-person attendance. With help from the Advisory Board, we planned out the most tasteful ceremony we could to honor those we'd lost. And then we broadcast it to the world for clicks and superchats. I stared at the numbers on my commlink. I thought I'd become numb to this kind of disgust until the donations hit three million nuyen without slowing down. My stomach filled with bile as I realized it.
We were going to make a profit on the massacre.
I wanted to throw up.
So I focused on Imam Ibrahim and Father Forthill. They'd been working side by side for a long time now. Since long before we came here. And they'd long since worked out the logistics of a multi-faith funeral. I wanted to hear their words and internalize and be comforted by them. But I couldn't. I didn't really know what was coming next, but I had an ominous feeling in the pit of my gut. When it was all finally over, I got a text message from Theo asking everyone in the leadership to meet by the front entrance. When I arrived, the two story tall hole had been covered tarp and the machine-gun turrents had been replaced, but that was as far as we could get in so little time.
Finally we were all there.
"I'll get straight to the point, " Theo began, "I've invited a friend of mine to come by and lend us a hand for a while. It'll only be a few days but until we get our defenses back up we're vulnerable. We need all the help we can get."
"Who's coming?" Anna asked. She wasn't any like as confrontational as she used to be, but she was still the first speak up in almost any situation.
"Alexander Knight," he replied.
Anna's eyes widened slightly, but then her entire body was wrenched back under the tight control of her will. Apparently this was bad for her somehow. Maybe she knew Alex.
"Damien Knight's son?" Doctor Fadil asked.
Damien Knight was the CEO and Chairman of Ares Macrotechnologies, one of the Big Ten megacorps that rules the world. Which made Alex another corporate prince.
Theo nodded, "We uh...used to play Dungeons and Dragons together. In any case, I'd like you all to get ready to show him around the place. We may be getting a new investor in our community. Also, Anna could I speak with your for a second. You too, Miho."
We retreated a dozen meters or so for privacy. Anna's poker face slipped just slightly and I knew she was dreading what came next.
"Miho, could you take Anna someplace private and have the talk with her?" Theo's orders were polite, but they were orders nonetheless.
Anna's mask was slipping even more but she was no coward. Even so, I felt the need to comfort her.
"It's not a bad talk, Anna. Don't worry," that seemed to mollify her a bit, but only just.
I decided to move things to Anna's turf for the sake of her sanity. The brothel, far and away, had the best rooms in the mall for privacy. So we went to her office and sat down.
"Let's rip off the bandaid. Theo and I know next to nothing about you. But we had you pegged as Old Money basically the first time you opened your mouth. And since you've been a help and not a hindrance we decided to let you have your secrets. But if there's anything we need to know, anything that can affect us, you should tell us now. Do you know Alex?"
Anna nodded, "He...he would recognize me, yeah."
"Is there anything else we need to know?"
Anna paused looking away. She had that same look of shame I'd seen on Theo's face so many times.
"You should know that, if someone comes to extract me, you should let them."
I responded on automatic, "Anna, we're not going to do that,"
She let out a sharp, hopeless laugh, "Look, I respect you guys for what you did here. You've help us build something great. But I don't think Delucca and his boys are up to dealing with Red Samurai,"
Frag.
The Renraku Red Samurai were among the worlds deadliest special forces. I doubted I was even on par with a single one of them. If a team of Red Samurai came to Squatter's Mall they'd go through us like a wet paper wall. But I wasn't ready to roll over and surrender just yet.
"Anna, you're a valued part of this community. You're a
leader here. We may not have the military strength to hold off Red Samurai, but we'll protect you in any way we can. But are you saying we can't trust, Alex? Because I'm telling you I've met him and he seems like a pretty decent guy."
I'd first met Alex Knight at one of those fancy parties I mentioned before. I was still 16 at the time and freshly out of the Barrens. So when I thought an entitled rich kid was hitting on me, of course, I slammed his face into a tray of European white truffles. His security detail nearly killed me, but Alex laughed it off. Then
he apologized to
me.
Anna shook her head, "No, Alex is great. But you can't unring a bell, you know? And I think you know as well as I do that even a corporate prince isn't immune to being pressured into things. He can't tell anyone what he doesn't know."
I nodded. And then we sat in silence for a few moments. I could see the pain on Anna's face so I did what little for her I could. I knew well how holding on to secrets could damage a person's soul. Theo wasn't the
only example I had of that, but he was certainly the
prime example.
"Look, " I began, "I'm not asking you to give me any identifying details. But if there's anything you
do want to talk about. I'm here."
Anna took a deep breath and stared at the wall for almost a full minute before turning her gaze to me, "Yeah. Yeah I think I do."
She steadied herself and began, "There was...a guy. A lot like Robin actually. Born in the local equivalent to Redmond around where I grew up. He lived the same kind of hard life as everyone here. I can't tell you how we met - too many details - but I loved him. God, I loved him so much. I doted on him so much at first it hurt his pride. It was a difficult relationship to navigate at first, but eventually I learned to respect his pride and he learned to let me love him. And for a while, things were beautiful."
She paused for a moment to take a breath, and I knew what was coming next, "Then my father found out and had him killed. Predictable, I know. Almost a cliche in this day-and-age. But I...I did
not handle it well. I didn't bother fighting with my father. I knew there was no point. So I went down to our version of Touristville, found our version of the Seamstresses Union and got very publicly drunk while being very obviously alone."
My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. It's not that I was unfamiliar with the idea of wanting to be punished, but acting out to a suicidal degree wasn't something I could personally relate to.
"What, were you
trying to get raped?" my tone was accusatory and I regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth
"Of course, " she replied, "But it didn't work out. Not the way I wanted it to anyway. Eventually a group of ork go-gangers hit on me and all I could think about was how disgusted and humiliated my father would be if I fragged them all. So I did. The next morning I woke up with a credstick in my mouth and the orks nowhere to be found. I didn't get it at first, but I eventually realized they thought I was a whore. And I thought, you know what?"
She focused her eyes on me, sadness and bitterness behind them, "Why not?"
"But first, " she continued, "I knew I needed to be on an entirely different side of the planet as my father, so I got a fake SIN with a passport and started flying to different cities not knowing where I was going to stop. Then one day I stopped here in Seattle. I'm sure Lucifer's records told you what came next. I started picking up on the downsides of my new lifestyle pretty quickly, but I adapted. I even liked the work, in a way. Every time I spread my legs for a John, it was like spitting in my father's face. I even started taking other working-girls - and boys - under my wing. And things were going well. Until I had a close call with a private eye sent by my father. So I came to Redmond rather than go home. And I started it all over here, at Squatter's Mall. "
For all the horror and pain I'd seen over the years, it never failed to shock me when people
chose Redmond. I guess it made sense in a pragmatic way. And perhaps I was biased. I always associated Redmond with Hell. But this conversation wasn't about me.
"So you don't need to waste any resources on me. I'm just a tourist." Anna ended her story.
There was a song I used to love growing up. It think it was called,
Common People. I remember it making me feel special. Like there was something I had that none of
those people could ever have. Imagine my surprise when I found Theo, back in the first year we met, curled up in his bed after Mother had burned her latest victim, crying while listening to that song. It too me a long time to get it, but I now understood what that song meant to people like Theo and Anna.
Because they had never thought that Poor was Cool.
I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what. Then, like divine inspiration, I remembered an old flatvid. One of Theo's favorites. So I got up out of my chair, walked over to Anna and placed a hand on her shoulder and borrowed one of the lines that never failed to bring Theo to tears.
"You walk our earth, Anna. You breathe our air. You are one of us."
The tears were streaming down her face now, but she wasn't sobbing. She just looked at me. I wouldn't call her expression shock or disbelief exactly. Surprise, certainly. And maybe a little hope.
"Yes, I mean it," I reiterated.
"Thank you," she whispered.
We shred a moment of silence, but finally my commlink beeped out a notification.
"What's up?" Anna asked. The pain wasn't quite out of her voice yet, but she was working on it.
"It's time for the Elephant Walk," I replied.
Alexander Knight had brought an army. Six Mack Hellhounds, those absurd semi-trucks converted into mobile heavy weapons platforms or drone carriers, two GMC Gryphons (basically giant flyng gun platforms) and 500 Ares JHI-65 anthropomorphic construction worker drones, but carrying AK-97s rather than jackhammers. Not that anyone could tell the difference with the milspec armor they'd stuffed them into. Alex wasn't being cheap.
Officially this was a commercial. Remember this was a reality show, and the official excuse for them being here was as a sponsorship deal. Alex had snuck in the construction drones for our benefit. Because as long as the damage to the building persisted our guts were splayed open and our organs were spilling out.
So the Hellhounds took up a circular perimeter around the building while the Gryphons patrolled the skies. The construction work would have to wait a bit. Theo would have to "explain" on camera that they needed help putting the building back together and Alex would break down their soldiers versatility. Like I said it was a commercial. And we got all this, albeit temporarily, without having to pay for it. The Ares forces would stick around for a few weeks and rebuild the building for us in exchange for the publicity they would get. Sponsorship deals could be pretty fragging convenient.
And even after they left, it would be a reminder to everyone of the resources we could bring to bear if necessary.
"Hey, kid! How's it going?" Alex called out to Theo from the airstair of his private VTOL jet as we approached, the Squatter's Mall advisory board, sans Anna, following not far behind.
Alex wasn't especially good looking. It's not that he was ugly, he was just well...basic. But he made up for it with a killer dress sense, a soul-penetrating smile, and confidence born of his corporate royalty status. And like Anna had said, he was one of the good ones. He was also several years older than Theo, making him about my age.
"Hey Alex, glad you could make it. I'm sure you remember Miho," Theo replied.
He smiled, "Are you kidding? I think about her every time I see a tray of white truffles."
Never living that down, I see.
"Oh!" he added, "this is my girlfriend, Izara Tesfeye."
A bald African woman dressed in the finest that western fashion had to offer existed the plane behind him. I could sense an aura of power so I decided to assense her. I could see immediately that she was Awakened and that her magic was almost as powerful as mine. And from the way she carried herself, I doubted she was an adept. She didn't have any of the little tells people had when they were confident they could win any physical confrontation.
"A pleasure to meet you all," Izara said with only the slightest hint of an African accent, "Tanaka-san? If you could come with me?"
That was unexpected. I looked at Theo who nodded. Apparently this was no surprise to him.
Your going to find out very soon now. I have one last secret left to share his words from earlier echoed in my mind. I waited for Alex to finish coming down the airstair and then followed Izara in.
The hatch sealed itself behind us and I found myself in your basic private jet.
God, I was starting to think like a rich asshole wasn't I? She led me over to a table with two ornate wooden chairs on either side and gestured to one of them. I sat down and, still without speaking, pulled out a pair of commlinks with associated trode and some kind of dull grey metal bracer with a fluid vial fixed to the outside.
"Theodore McWellan trusts you," she began, "That's speaks well for you. But we do not know you. So before we begin, you will wear this." she slid the bracer across the table.
"What is it?" I asked.
"An autoinjector. The drug is Laés. If things do not go well, you cannot be allowed to remember what happened. There are safeguards beyond safeguards and secrets beneath secrets. If you are found worthy, you will be allowed to remember."
Under other circumstances I never would have done this. Under other circumstances, I would have made some kinds of demands or asked for some kinds of assurances. But Theo was involved in something. And this was my chance to find out what. And he was, at least in part, behind all this. And for all his flaws, he was the person I trusted most in this world.
I put on the bracer.
Izara placed the trodes on head. These looked more like a hairnet than the unassuming headband Theo had giving me back in the day. She donned a duplicate herself and suddenly we were in the Matrix. Except I was somehow blind. Izara led my by the hand for quite a while, maybe as much as twenty minutes. When she finally deinged to give me my sight back, we were already in a Host of some kind. And they'd spared no expense. It wasn't a UV Host or anything. I could tell it wasn't real. But the environment was significantly more realistic than the one Theo had thrown together for his childhood friends.
I was in some kind of reading room. Warm colors and bookshelves dominated the aesthetic, while two antique recliners sat facing each other at an angle near a roaring fireplace. If there was an exit to this place I wasn't seeing it, but maybe I wasn't allowed to yet. She gestured to the chairs and
once again we sat down.
The moment I did, the entire "world" around us shifted. The chairs were still there, but we were now on the stage of an auditorium with hundreds of onlookers in the audience all of various metatypes and ethnicities, though the avatars were largely blurred around the face.
"Welcome Tanaka-san, " Izara began, "to The Deliberative. A secret society of which Theodore McWellan is a member. Although some of us prefer the term, 'community'. Depending on how this goes, you may learn more details later. For now, understand this. He has been a member for three years now and until recently, he has been in good standing. A paragon, some would say. That has changed, and I think you know to what I refer."
I took a "breath" and answered, "The Red Hot Nukes,"
Izaya nodded, "We are aware, of course, of the execution of the 9-to-5ers and we are not concerned with it. I tell you this so that you will have some context regarding how we will judge him. And why. Will you speak for Theodore McWellan?"
"Perhaps," I began, "But first..."
I stood up and faced the crowd, "Before I participate in any of this, I need to know if any of you here have any right to judge Theodore. How many of you are doing what he is doing? How many are you living your lives the way he has been? How many of you have faced the same stresses and pushed yourself to keep going for the benefit of others? How many have dedicated your every waking moment to building a better world in a genuine way for the good of all? How many of you are actually trying to help?"
A moment passed as my accusation hung in the air.
And then every single person in the room raised a hand. Every goddamn one of them.
"Tanaka-san," Izaya said smiling all the way to her eyes, "that is who we are. It is the Deliberative's very purpose. So you see, Theodore McWellan is not so unique after all."
"This is impossible," the words escaped my mouth without my explicit permission, coming out as a half-whisper.
"Perhaps, Tanaka-san, the world is not so empty of light as you thought. If you will take your seat, we will begin,"
I wasn't sure if I should believe them, but surely if I was going to face some kind of major deception here, Theo would have told me. And if Theo
was going to join a secret society, well...one like this suited him.
So I sat down, and at some point the people had lowered their hands when I wasn't looking.
"Please tell us your first reaction to see what Theo had done to the Nukes in his guise as Lucifer? How did you feel?"
That was not the first question I'd hope they'd ask, but I was Samurai. I would speak the truth, "I was horrified. I've seen things like that in the Barrens and worse, but I never thought Theo would stoop to it."
"And what was your first action?" Izaya moved on.
"I challenged him. We argued. I think I reached him, at least to a degree."
"How would
you have handled the situation?" Izaya asked.
"What does that have to do with - " but I wasn't allowed to finish,
"Please answer the question," Izaya insisted.
Out of sheet force of habit I took a breath before responding, "That's hard to say. My gut instinct is that I would gathered up a force I thought could handle them and attacked them."
"Would you have tortured them?" Izaya pressed.
"Absolutely not. But I would have killed them. Every goddamn one of them," I explained.
"Tell me about your relationship to Mr. McWellan. Do your loyalties extend to compromising your ethics?"
I grit my teeth, but answered honestly, "I've lied to keep his secrets. So yes. But nothing more,"
"What if he asked you to do something more objectionable? Like murder an innocent for utilitarian reasons. How far would you go for him?"
I raised an eyebrow, "That would never happen. But since I know you'll press I'll just say it. I wouldn't do it. The Code of Bushido as my father taught me is sacred to me."
"Tell us more about your ethical framework. We'd like to be better able to put your answers in context,"
I sighed, "I'm a Samurai who grew up in the Barrens and then spent the last five and a half years as Theodore McWellan's closest friend and confidant. Is there something you want to know that that doesn't cover?"
She smiled, "Do you have a plan for the world? Any ideas by which it may be improved independent of Mr. McWellan's? Anything he's missing?"
That took me a second. But then it was obvious.
"Theo's focus right now is on improving conditions from the perspective of material conditions. And for a place like the Barrens, that's very important. But if I had..." I had to stop myself because I
did in fact have the resources to get started, "...rather, if I wasn't already working on the Squatter's Mall project, I'd be working on teaching morality and ethics."
She drummed her fingers on her chair a few times.
"I believe we are done here. Please begin voting." Izaya called to the crowd.
A window opened up and a stream of numbers appeared that I couldn't parse until they stopped moving.
[ADMIT - 686, REJECT - 0, ABSTAIN - 14]
Izaya turned back to me, "Congratulations, Tanaka-san. Welcome to The Deliberative"