1. April Fool's Arrival
I had a few seconds of confused disorientation before I crashed, face-first, into cool sand.
My unexpected bulk was felt as a shuddering tremor, and that sand sprayed outward as I slammed down. Some skips and bumps had me tumbling through bushes and cacti, all far less painful than I expected.
Once I had stopped moving, I took a moment to get my bearings.
'...I have absolutely no idea what is going on. Desert? Sort of?' The bits of scraggly greenery suggested a not *quite* desolate region, with rainfall to a degree somewhat more regular than endless dunes would imply.
It was about that moment that I had a better look at myself: the arms that I had been using to clamber about were thick, trunk-like lengths of near silver-scaled limbs, tipped with a set of five clawed fingers. Near-mindlessly, one of my foreclaws was already idly clicking against a half-buried rock, the sound helping me realize how truly different my new limbs were. I had also defaulted to a crawling position, a tad off the surface of the ground, and - I tilted my head to either side - I had wings, too.
'Well. This is interesting. Don't think I've had a 'I'm a dragon, rawr!' dream in quite a while.'
Experimentally, I let out a little roar, startling a few rodents that had been hiding in nearby bushes. My
very surprisingly good sight was able to lock onto each fleeing critter, and an inner unconscious impulse led to a fiery
belch.
Rapidly, my chest and throat seemed to tighten and heat up, like I was forcing air through a furnace. The resulting thin cone of fire blackened a stretch of plants, along with the unfortunate target. Shifting closer with my
four limbs -
'how am I already used to this?!' - I easily noted that while my fiery breath appeared to have burnt a selection of the once-living flora and fauna, it wasn't so extreme as to melt the sand into improvised volcanic glass.
A flick of a claw tossed the over-barbequed tidbit into my mouth. My fangs made short work of it, a single powerful bite that felt surprisingly effortless.
'So,' I contemplated, sitting back on my haunches. Some further experimental patting confirmed the expected long snout and a pair of backwards-angled horns.
'This is real? I'm a dragon? And I'm pretty okay about that?'
I allowed my self a body-rumbling laugh, then sighed.
'There has
to be some mind fuckery going on here, I just know it!' I sprawled down onto the sand, then flopped over, staring at the black, starry sky. Comparing the dark expanse to my view of the grounds, it also looked like I had some minor degree of darkvison or similar.
'Yay?'
'I might as well do the usual tests in this scenario...' I then spent a few minutes going through every strongly willed version of gamer commands and variants I could dream up, all of them giving me a fat load of *nothing*. However, strangely enough, I *did* get some near borderline clear mental messages that
'things would happen' when I fell asleep - so
that was something to look forward to, at least.
'Huh.' I let out a harsh snort.
'Time to find out where I am, I guess?'
'I can fly! Wooo!' This round of exultant cheering was short-lived as my imperfect wing control began to slip, and another face-first dive began towards the comfortably padded desert.
'Not this
time, too?!' I half-pleaded, massive leathery wings flapping madly to no avail, my end results being another tumbling roll into the bush-dotted sands.
'Yes! Truly, I am an awesome and majestic being. A draconic agent of power and glory!' A claw flick tore through a half-teetering cactus, messily tearing the plant apart.
'Fear me! Rawr!'
Another snort, then I let out a paltry cone of fire against my 'target.' Picking up pieces of the poorly cooked and slightly burnt greenery, I chewed the relatively tiny warmed chunks while thinking further. However, any serious deliberations were put off by the first rays of sunlight over the distant horizon.
'I'll work on flight more, later,' I mused, sighing.
'Its time to find something I could pretend is half-decent shelter.'
A length of minutes traipsing over the cool sands brought me to the best option yet: a tilted pillar of reddish stone, large and angled
just enough that I could barely pretend that it was better than nothing.
Loudly sighing, I pushed and prodded around the collection of rocks in an attempt to make something comfortable. Once I had dug out a reasonably large pocket -
and assured myself that the whole thing wasn't going to collapse on me - I scrunched into the space and attempted to get a bit of shut-eye.
Before that, however, this attempted moment of peace and quiet kept on drawing my attention to how my new body
felt - extra joints in a tail, that I kept on shifting, and the broad stretches of sensitive wings that were far more durable than I feared. I was lucky enough to not get cramps or pins and needles, but random itches still flared up. Annoying.
Eventually, my attempt at a sleep-drenched time-skip came up - and then was immediately lost when I 'awoke' into a completely different place.
The best way I could describe it was a mist-shrouded plain, whose center hosted a rough-sculpted statue of... me? Maybe?
Padding closer to that one interesting feature, I was able to understand that, one, it was
much bigger than myself; two, it was
very roughly carved; and three, a massive slab of clear polished crystal was held in one of those clawed paws.
A moment of staring at the smooth-side of the columnar crystal had its interior morph through a foggy, indistinct mess to a twisted collection of sharp, jagged lettering. Those unreadable words then shifted again, but this time into something far more clear and understandable.
'Ah, here
is my LitRPG experience!' I inwardly cheered, beginning to read the text.
[PATH OF THE DRAGON ASCENDANT
POINTS: 0 [Muggle] / 0 [Super] / 0 [Cosmic]
TIERS: [Fragile → Muggle → Iron] → [Extranormal → *SUPER* → Hyper] → [World → Cosmic → Author]
DRACONIC CATEGORIES:
- BREATH: Exhalations and breathing.
- BODY: Internal workings.
- CLAWS & FANGS: Melee and close-quarters.
- EYES: All senses.
- HEART: Internal wellspring of energy.
- LAIR: Home and hoard.
- MIND: All mental operations.
- MINIONS: Followers and familiars.
- PRESENCE: Intangible aura.
- SACRIFICES: Traded in cast-off discards.
- SCALES: Outermost defences.
- STOMACH: Devouring and processing.
- TYPE: Fundamental essence.
- WINGS: All mobility functions.]
Mentally focusing on each cluster of details, I began to get impressions and feedback from what each meant.
Text and imagery explained the meanings, beginning with what the 'Points' were.
In this case, they were kind of like pools of karma, possibilities, and interference in original fate. 'Muggle' points were about mundane or mortal-scale achievements; 'Super' were, naturally, about superheroic or large-scale feats; and 'Cosmic' dealt with planetary or multiversal-scale endeavors.
Just from those, I could deduce that there was
some kind of 'canon', or otherwise original timeline, and the only way I'd be able to progress in
this particular system would be to 'interfere' in it. However, how far I could be 'at a remove,' or directly in the 'thick of it,' would need to be discovered.
The tiers were also self-explanatory, though they did remind me of something I browsed through
online in the past. That I was 'super,' and still felt so weak, was most curious. I'm just glad that I didn't start lower!
Some more skimming through the mostly descriptive categories also gave me a slightly better idea of my own abilities.
My size and strength were compared to that of a great white shark, with enough exterior scales armouring to withstand most small-arms fire. Any injuries I'd take
should recover in hours to weeks, depending on their severity. Less impressive were my clumsy flight ratings, and a basic 'flamethrower' cone that would only be effective against unarmoured beings.
The only abilities that I'd consider moderately exotic were telepathy, planar acclimation, and undetectable presence.
The telepathy was the weakest version I've ever seen, limited to 'one way speech' only, and that at a line of sight limit of under one hundred feet.
The Planar Acclimation ability was somewhat more familiar, reminding me of an 'always count as a planar native' ability I remember seeing on a few
creatures as well as a pair of
boots. The only direct benefit I could imagine coming from it was that I'd no longer be vulnerable to planar banishing, the removed risk of such being - I considered the instants of blurred confusion before I appeared above this desert with
intense apprehension - somewhat reassuring? Hrm.
The last one,
Undetectable Essence, was curious in that it gave me the
option to choose to be immune to all divination spells and effects. Again, the risk of being somewhere horrible with ever-present scrying entities - most notably, Earth Bet of the Wormverse sprung to mind - nearly had me me attempt
carving STAY ON ALWAYS into the crystal's flat surface until a nifty little 'locked on' icon appeared beside the words.
Then, lacking any of those 'Points' to even attempt to begin to see what could be 'bought' with them, I curled up near the base of the giant dragon statue and tried to sleep.
Again? In my dream lair? Erm? How does this work? Should I...
...wake up?
An unnaturally long blink later, I was back to the desert-slash-savanna landscape. In the distance, the sun was setting behind more reddish rock formations, slowing fading into the cooler night.
I kept mostly still, waiting, until the rainbow like shades and hues had fully transformed into a black, star-filled night.
A sigh, then,
'I guess its time to try flying again... I feel like a giant, stuffed, waddling turkey. Dammit.'
To improve my chances, I clawed my way to the top of the pillar-like stone I had been resting under. It was not even as tall as my body-length, but the additional height gave some wing-flapping clearance.
'Erm... how does that song go? I Believe I Can Fly?' I let out a hissing laugh, then let out my wings, pushing them free in a tension-relieving stretch. Gripping the stone top with all four of my paw's claws, I began pumping my wings faster and faster.
'I am not a hummingbird!' I shouted into my mind, wings catching air.
'The principles of lift I follow break physics that I don't even know the math of!' Tension began to build under my claws, as upward pulling force accumulated.
'Gimme that supernatural flight, dammit! GIVE IT TO MEEEEEE!!!'
A slight relaxing of my paws, and I shot upwards with a scattering of rocky fragments, still flapping my wings madly.
Thankfully, whatever my draconic strength was about, it was
not weak - every beat of my wings was simple and easy, as if I was waving around arms that weighed less than nothing.
'Now what?' I mused to myself, ascending in a lazy spiral. The obvious answer came to mind with a hint of ground-based city lights in the distance, a small enough cluster that vaguely suggested a small town more likely than any serious metropolis.
Not wanting to dive so fully into urban insanity, I aimed a bit off to side, in the hopes of reaching something a tad less high profile.
The farther towards those points I flew, the more clearly distinct they were. The bigger cluster of lights was likely a few hundred points of illumination, and darkened lines - roads or highways, all without streetlights - stretched out from it.
I focused on a smaller collection, down away from that probable town, and angled my flight towards the connecting road.
Thankfully,
this time I didn't end up plowing into the dirt snout-first. Instead, my landing kicked up dried dirt as all four paws touched down, wings half-furled so I wouldn't snag them on the dense, scrubby bushes.
Crouched
almost down low enough that my belly skimmed the ground, I stretched my head over the plants.
I was directly beside a small drainage bridge that went across an old, dusty streambed, barely a foot deep. The two-lane road was modern-looking - paved, black, with painted lines and reflective spots - but had no streetlights. I could only guess that this place was low traffic enough to not be worth the investment.
Further past the 'bridge' was... an RV park? Paleo Varde RV Park?
Oh boy. An RV park. How much stereotypes would I have to deal with here?!
Inwardly, I debated giving up on this idea, and going a touch more public. Maybe even trying for that larger town, farther down this two lane highway. Still, I was here now - fate and unrealistic flight dynamics brought me to this little corner of scraggly greenery, dammit, and I'd make the best of it I could.
'...how long is one hundred feet again?'
I stared at the road, the RV park, and attempted to gauge distances. After a few minutes of eyeballing everything I could, the conclusion was this:
'I'm not good at math.'
'Well. This is awkward.' I pulled my head back, mostly hiding behind the dense screen of bushes again, and pawed through the ground. Some decent sized stones were uncovered, but none so large that I wasn't able to get a grip on them.
Lightly tossing a few back and forth, my thoughts wandered towards throwing them. But... no. That way was only violence. Comedic violence, yes, but still... violence. I'd skip it for now.
Instead, I'd wait for things to get even darker, and the signs of activity to meander down a tad. After all, it was only a touch past sunset, and there were a fair number of people eating outdoors and enjoying the mild weather. They came with distinct and different patches of music, loosely orientated to different sections of the RV park.
Occasionally, the random car also passed by, partially obscured headlights skimming over my mostly greenery covered position.
Eyes half-slitted, I settled in to wait.
'Dog smell? Mmm?'
I didn't really know how to describe the association I had that linked the newly strong and present musty smell with 'dogs.' It was just there, like the sky is blue, and the ground is down - innate, automatic knowledge.
Some further huffed breaths had me narrow down the direction - to my right, incoming - and I shifted my neck to aim my eyes where the expected pitter-patter of light steps were approaching.
"Yip?"
'Heya lil doggo!' I sent, attempting to
will my mental voice towards the... chihuahua? I guessed?
It tilted its head to the side, perhaps confused, and I attempted a wide smile, sending,
'Hello!'
The pupper went bat-shit crazy - barking, yowling, spinning around in circles, jumping up and down - and didn't stop even when I shuffled backwards a half-pace.
"Peanut! PEANUT! What did you find, my widdle princess?!"
How could someone name a female chihuahua 'Peanut'?! That's insulting!
I attempted to get a better look at the dog's 'bits,' but... well... they were even tinier than the dog was. Not much of a chance, especially with the critter going micro-berserk. However, another
sniff all-but confirmed that the dog was, in fact, a male, via the same sort of automatic intuition.
"Peanuttttt! Where are youuuuuu?!" Light steps came closer, soon crossing the road, and then into the light foliage on my side.
'Greetings, human!' I sent, slightly more confident in my telepathic 'voice.'
'Are you the one which the prophecies have foretold?'
"...Ah?" The epitome of average American south-western, middle-aged woman dumbfoundedly froze, staring up at me, while her dog - Peanut - ran circles around her shorts and and flip-flop wearing legs. "What?"
'Yo?' I attempted a two finger peace sign, silvery clawed digits aiming into the night sky, even as my tail lightly twitched in an aborted impulse to
whip-crack. The little critter's noise was more startling than threatening.
"...I'm not high..." She stared at her hands, as if expecting something there, and flexed her fingers a few times. Blinking, shaking her head, she scooped up Peanut, and started to walk away. "...bad trip. Holy moly..."
'Hello?'
She froze again, hunching her shoulders, and looked back at me. "AHH! DRAGON!"
'Ah! Human!'
She fell back onto her behind, clutching the still-yipping chihuahua the whole time. It'd be amusing if it wasn't so sad. Still, I eased my head lower, trying not to loom too high above her. Even so, my shoulder line stood well over the woman's height.
At the beginning of what sounded like a
very deep breath, I quickly sent another mental message.
'Bet you a hundred dollars you'll shout again!'
Whatever she was expecting, that wasn't it. Instead, she went into a sort of coughing, choking fit for a short while, with Peanut - now blessedly silent - licking the woman's face.
'Are you done? Can we have some sort of rational conversation? Or do you need to get some more theatrics out of your system?'
She hugged the little dog a bit closer, then peered my way. "Do you even
have one hundred dollars, mister... uh... dragon?"
'...at the moment, I am limited to trade and barter,' I replied, awkwardly shifting in place.
'However,' I continued, shrugging with both a set of shoulders and where my wings met my body,
'I'm sure I'll establish a notable treasure hoard, in some time or another.'
"...okay?"
"Another one!" This time, she held up Peanut with one hand, while extending her flip-phone away from us. I did the best to smile without teeth, the tiny flash a relatively bright dot of white.
This last picture she took was one of dozens, all small quality on what appeared to be a blocky, early generation phone prior to the 'smart' versions. She - Barbara Bayley - had set up a rickety folding chair and light table, along with an LED lamp, all the better for me to go through a newspaper she had brought. In recognition of the night's temperature plunge, she had also changed into sweat pants and a shirt, along with bringing a light blanket to serve as an improvised shawl.
The chair was for her, obviously, and she nuzzled the tensely vibrating chihuahua who almost constantly stared at me, growling from under the tented blanket. His only suffering was the cute little sneezes he underwent as Barbara steadily burnt through a near-constant line of exotic-smelling smokes.
In truth, her back and forth traffic was more of a risk than my own ground-squeezed self: a few calls to her phone, along with curious neighbours, had all needed to be dissuaded by the RV park local.
My difficulties were more of a size scale issue, being that my efforts to go through the newspaper were challenged by the differences of the pages versus my clawed paws, likely larger than a bear's. Still,
very careful pinching, along with polite requests, had been enough to work though this local Arizona newspaper without tearing it to shreds.
The two most significant pieces of information I were able to pull out of the pages was the date, which was April 2nd, 2008 - apparently I had come into this world on April Fool's day, how wonderfully appropriate - and that
Tony Stark, of
Stark Industries, had been missing since February 11th of this year. Pessimists declared his violent passing a foregone conclusion, while optimists hoped for the 'Merchant of Death's' timely return.
What I was most concerned about now was figuring out if this world was the canon
Marvel Cinematic Universe, one of its
alternates, or something much worse, like
Marvel Zombies. The mere thought of
that particular set of horrors was enough to generate a full-body shudder, from snout to tail-tip.
'Turn, please,' I sent, and Barbara flipped the newspaper to the last page, shaking her hand-wrapped cigarette off to the side. The end cover was just ads, and not of any brands or makes that prompted insights or flashes of paranoid caution.
I let out a rumbling sigh.
"What's the matter, mister dragon?" My host asked, turning up from the flashing lights of her latest cell-phone game.
'I would sincerely like to get in touch with some individuals from Stark Industries,' I sent, gesturing with a claw-tip towards that company's name.
'However, one of the three people involved are missing. The second is likely sleeping, and the third is... iffy.' I shifted my wings, shifting in place.
'Do you think you could make a collect call to a Malibu house if you know the address?'
"Sure? I mean, why not? What's the address?"
'It's likely a private number: 10880 Malibu Point, Malibu, California 90265. Ask to be connected to Edwin Jarvis.'
While Barbara went through a number of holds, transfers, and various operators, I shifted my head closer to the phone, wary of spooking the little chihuahua.
"Please leave your message after the beep," came from the phone's speakers,
"and all details will be forwarded to Mr. Stark upon his return." A forced cough was sounded, then the polite British voice continued,
"Any and all fees based on collect calls will be forwarded to the relevant authorities or collection agencies."
After the beep, I began sending a message to Barbara, beginning with,
'Please repeat what I'm saying. Start with...'
She began echoing my mental comments to the AI, our shared efforts focused on bypassing any attempts at leaving a standard message.
"Um, hi? Shoot! ...Jarvis, I know you're more than just a rather very intelligent system. I'm in a bit of a situation here, using an intermediary to talk, and I don't want to say much of anything on public lines. Can you escalate this call? Let me list some keywords if it helps justify things."
I began throwing out every single non-intrinsically 'top secret' term I could think of, beginning with names. "Edwin Jarvis, butler. James Rhodes, US Air Force. Happy Hogan, security. Pepper Potts, personal assistant. Yuma Proving Ground, the 'A.W.E.' Afghanistan, Jericho. Not yet? How about -"
"...One moment, please, Miss."
Another series of clicks, then, a feminine voice,
"It's past two AM. Who am I speaking to?"
"My apologies Miss Pepper Potts," Barbara replied, voicing out my thoughts. "Part of that answer lies in this phone. Feel free to check it, if you - or Jarvis - happen to have the means to do so."
She stared at me, then the phone, puzzled, but I just gently shifted my head from side to side.
"...Stay on the line."
Nothing obvious happened for a minute, though the light levels on Barbara's phone
might have flickered the smallest amount.
"If you have something worth speaking about," Pepper's voice came back on, continuing,
"what do you want for them?"
"A more controlled environment," I had Barbara say, "Along the lines of
Edwards Air Force Base in California. However, the 'cargo' in question is about the size of a great white shark. Any handlers would need to be discreet, calm, and used to handling crazy situations."
"Is that all?"
"An appreciative finder's fee for Barbara Bayley, here, of course, but nothing in advance. That's it."
Peanut let out a little yip of surprise as my host squeezed the chihuahua, and an amused huff came from the phone.
"I'll text you the details," Pepper said, then disconnected. Barbara looked at me, and we both exchanged shrugs in our respectively different size scales. The blond went back to giving her pet attention, accustomed enough to myself to tune me out as I remained still.
There was nothing else to do for the moment.
This turn of fate was remarkably convenient. It was only due to Tony Stark's home address being stated in canon -
and myself remembering it - that made this chain of events possible. Additionally, if Jarvis
hadn't picked up, I'd have to escalate in a completely different manner, like going through corporate channels in Stark Industries or the HYDRA-corrupted SHIELD.
However, the longer I went without official patronage, the greater the risk of
some sort of black-ops organization doing their best to nab me.
I gave a scraggly tree in front of me a poke, causing the whole thing to sake.
Very limited cover, and only valid at night. I probably shone like a spotlight under thermal vision, as well.
A glance at the cloud-lined, starry sky confirmed no trace of dawn - there was still plenty of time.
Less than an hour of silent waiting later, Barbara's phone buzzed with a text, waking her from a light doze. Disconnecting it from a portable power pack, she turned the screen towards me.
[Kaerny Airport. 8 AM.]
"I guess that's it, mister dragon?" She said, pocketing the device. Head rubs were given to her little doggy, whose beady eyes glared my way.
My reply was a chest rumbling agreement, nodding towards her, then,
'What do you know about traditional leather curing and all natural fertilizer?'
"Not much, why?"
My stomach grumbled.
'I had thoughts to give you something more substantial as additional payment...'
When dawn rolled around, my slightly lightened self had already secured a heavily forested cover area that was in close line of sight to the Kaerny Airport's main hanger.
A check at the pink and green kid's wristwatch strapped (and glued!) to my smallest paw-finger -
'I really need some consistent naming for my own anatomy!' - confirmed that eight AM was still over a hour and a half away.
I used the free time to adjust my cheap 'camouflage': multiple seasons' worth of bedsheets and light blankets, attached together with duct tape. The coverings were
sort of enough to cover my form, but only if I scrunched up my wings close to body, along with curling in my much longer tail. I was grateful that my scales were more of the smooth variety than razored armour, as otherwise this plan would have been a complete wash.
The other accessory I had 'bought' was a length of scrap metal, to which a more plain white sheet was attached to. Its function was the classical white flag, in the hopes of catching some non-violent attention.
I was still fiddling with my cheap body coverings when eight AM neared and the repetitive whumps of a helicopter grew in volume and proximity.
The first sight of that aircraft was of a dark grey helicopter with the side-lined star of the US Armed Forces, as expected, but its dual rotor setup, along with
its size, was a surprise.
Before it began its descent, I
carefully waddled forward, out of the tree cover, at the edge of the open paved spaces near the main hangers.
There was a lengthy pause when the flight helmeted pilots caught sight of my flag waving self, along with a rush of more viewers to the windows, but it soon ended and the aircraft shifted my way.
In the seconds it took, however, I realized that I made a rather large error in being this close: helicopters generate wind, and wind blows things away.
'Goodbye, camouflage,' I thought, watching the duct-taped collection of sheets get scattered back into the treeline. A
small attempt was made at catching them, but my pinching claws merely tore the fleeing fabric into even more useless strips.
'So much for a low profile.'
Giving up any pretenses at subtlety, I more confidently straightened up, still holding onto the madly fluttering white flag. Eyeing the sky, I offered a wave to any spy satellites whose view I catched, then remained mostly still - tail immobile, wings pinned tight to my sides - until the copter's rotors had slowed into immobility.
For some tense moments, nothing happened. I 'planted' the flag into the soil that edged the tarmac, yawning, and
then the rear cargo door of the helicopter opened.
Four troopers - militia men? Soldiers? - jogged down the wide rear ramp, while two others remained within. I also estimated that another one or two were pilots, as I didn't see any activity coming from the front cabin.
"Weapons at low ready - engaging as a last resort!"
The interior of the helicopter had been converted into a mix of seats and open cargo space, with the red-fabric framed seating all near the front.
'Hello,' I sent, tilting my snout towards the man I recognized as
James Rupert Rhodes. He, like the others, were wearing active duty camoflage uniforms. All of them also had holstered sidearms, but only the other three on perimeter duty had assault rifles that were held steady in their downward-facing slings.
The moment he fully took in my size was a tense instant, his eyes widening paired with a quick cough. Still, whatever impact I had on him was quickly shook off.
Amusingly, he saluted me, then, "Lieutenant Colonel James Rupert Rhodes, United States Air Force, here for a diplomatic courier mission. The cargo would be...?"
I tapped my scaled chest, producing a clinking sound.
'Myself. No set name, presently, unfortunately.' I shrugged, then my head shifted to the other three, standing in a loose outer perimeter.
'Please let them know I am speaking via telepathy. I'd rather not create any cringe-worthy surprises.'
He blinked, then, "Arthur! Isakov! Carra!"
A chorus of "sir!" answered him as they turned his way, and I noted the small matching fabric name patches on each.
"Our VIP here
stated that he communicates via... telepathy. Maintain weapon discipline if you... hear voices in your head. Understood?"
Only a brief hesitation preceded a slightly staggered round of "yes sir!"
"Anything else?" Rhodes asked, unflinchingly focused on my much larger eyes.
I peered into the depths of the helicopter, then tilted my head back over myself, shaking my wings, before returning my attention to him.
'Do you have a preference to face a dragon's breath or their gas?'
A/N: One more chapter incoming.