Shh, I'm Trying to Think Here [Warcraft][Others][SI]

[d.fish]

Right click, add party

Click to shrink...

At this point, the question would not be 'where is the 'cursor'', but 'how do I mine fish?'.

 

[d.fish]

Chapter 6



"Cutty Sharpiebites, would you like more tea?" Finn lifted the jar of lemon drink and poured the tea before waiting for confirmation, causing Jaina to frown. She was having fun, but one of the fun things about having a tea party turned out to be making up the rules as we went along.

Cutty Sharpiebites
Inherited Goldensword
Level 18 Short Sword

I chimed in for her, "Oh, you would? Very good, splendid!" We spoke in exaggerated, English accents. Obviously we wanted to sound as hideous as possible, so we wanted to sound as English as possible. It was fun.

Finn smiled at the soft reminder and turned to our other companion, the orc prisoner polymorphed into a kitten—by the strange name of Zuluhed the Whacked—who was trapped inside a glass bowling ball. She lifted the jaw towards us and asked, "Lady Proudmoore, would you like to do the honor?"

"Why, I would be absolutely delighted, Lady Goldensword," We replied.

Zuluhed the Whacked, "Felicia Sexopants"
Rage of the Dragonmaw
Level <Skull> Warlock Chieftain

Felicia Sexopants meowed.

"Very good, Lady Sexopants, but you simply do not have the badonkadonks that Lady Sharpiebites has! No matter how you reason with us, you cannot fool us of such a thing!" We reprimanded Lady Sexopants harshly. This was not the first time that "Felicia" tried to claim that she had just as good badonkadonks as Cutty Sharpiebites.

"How rude!" Finn exclaimed in exaggerated indignation.

"Indeed!" Jaina replied and stifled a giggle.

Finnal Goldensword
The Immovable Mountain
Level 33 Mystic Swordsman

It was to this sight that a rather anticipated fellow by the name of Antonidas walked in. He was in a flowing, white cloak that belied an image of goodness, though he wore purple and blue robes underneath. There was a steel-like skull cap on his head that made him look like the Merlin in that one old King Arthur movie I watched a long time ago and only remembered because the actress who played Arthur's mother Ygraine was nude for that one rather explicit scene where Uther took the guise of her husband and conceived Arthur. At least, that was how I remembered it—I had been tripping balls for that decade after I accidentally time warped backwards into that era, so a lot of things were rather confusing. Anyway, he had his beard tucked into his belt and half-lidded spectacles like Dumbledore, and looked rather grandfatherly, mentorly, and all around friendly.

These qualities did not help him from sputtering when we tried to get our Felicia Sexopants, whose polymorfication had reversed and was now in the mindset of a kitten but with the body of a rather studly fifty-something year old orc warlock, into women's undergarments. Perhaps our... ahem... attempts at drawing makeup on the grizzled, weathered orcish face did not help either.

He looked like a clown.

By 'he', I mean both of them, after that.

But taking a critical eye to Antonidas, we knew that the man was powerful without knowing of his gear or his skills; his simple reputation as the singular force behind the unification of the various squabbling powers of Dalaran was enough. It was said that Dalaran was a meritocracy and a democracy, but it just meant that most of the time, these powerful wizards were too busy bickering amongst themselves to interfere in international politics. Democracy, as it is called here as well, is the governing method that is almost universally laughed at for its inefficiency. After all, it was the monarch's duty and privilege to serve the people, and they were blessed and checked by their blessings from the Light for it... what did elected leaders have as checks or obligations, other than the backing of the constituencies that pushed them into office?

Antonidas was the sort of leader who changed that mindset in the last decades, for he was able to turn all the power brokering powers against each other, unite every wizard in Dalaran to back him nominally, and dominate domestic politics enough to dictate the overarching goals of the entire faction. It helped that he had a powerful nemesis to rally the people behind too, of course.

Antonidas
The Kirin Tor
Level <Skull> Archmage

His title was simple, but it told a whole story. After all, the Kirin Tor was not a title, but the name of an entire senate of wizards. It was the council that ruled Dalaran. This was similar to ancient Rome in that almost all of the senators were from landed aristocracies of Dalaran or its surrounding nations. It was ruled by six powerful wizards, who followed their supreme leader, this was true.

Yet here was Antonidas, who was the senate. The same way that perhaps a successful Julius Caesar might have been the Roman senate. He was power and he was the emperor in Dalaran.

So why was he here, at the doorstep of a grounded girl and her crossdressing, swashbuckling roommate?

"Hello, Lady Proudmoore..." His twinkling eyes watched my every move, following me as if too intrigued to be amused. Power emanated from his being in visible hues of purple and white. His attention was suffocating and his gaze like the gravity of the world compressed into the spot I was standing.

I smiled up at him, every bit amused as he ought to be, "... I've been expecting you."

 

[a2znut]

"... I've been expecting you."

Click to shrink...

Now you're just trolling

 

[Adyen]

Now you're just trolling

Click to shrink...

I was actually sort of expecting him to say, "I've been expecting, Ms. Proudmore."

Just to get that Bond villain vibe.

 

[d.fish]

I was actually sort of expecting him to say, "I've been expecting, Ms. Proudmore."

Just to get that Bond villain vibe.

Click to shrink...

Now I have to write it like that instead of what I have planned...

 

[mkire]

I was actually sort of expecting him to say, "I've been expecting, Ms. Proudmore."

Just to get that Bond villain vibe.

Click to shrink...

*Snark* "really? Congratulations! when is the baby due?"

 

[d.fish]

Chapter 7



"The Magus Antonidas was but a mere boy when he became an apprentice to one of the Kirin Tor. He was a tenacious learner, pouring over books in the magical libraries of Dalaran. After only a few short years of studying under the sect, Antonidas had outclassed his peers and earned their admiration, as well as the respect of his elders. At the age of 12, Antonidas' thesis, "The Ramifications of Refined Reverse Time Travel Phenomena into Quantifiable Magical Practice", earned him the Kirin Tor Sash of Supreme Acumen, the youngest to ever receive the award..."

… it went on further to explain that before him there have been fads where students abandoned their family names, but never to the sort of trend that went on after Antonidas took the reins. He had been taken so young he did not remember his family and never sought them due to his interests in magic taking priority. However, many tried to mimic Antonidas afterwards, even those who were from prestigious households. In the past decades, Antonidas has shaped Dalaran's culture into one to his liking.

He was not actually very tall or very muscular. He stood less than six feet tall and if I took even a cursory glance over him, it was easy to notice his thin, bony limbs and fingers. If he had been anyone else, then he would have looked like a simple breeze would have knocked him over. Despite being well groomed and impressively presented, Antonidas' robes were baggy and just a tinge too large for him that this was noticeable. It was like there was an absence of flesh, or simply that he was over a hundred years old or something. Considering he had experimented with time travel, who knew what his true age was?

Antonidas
The Kirin Tor
Level <Skull> Archmage

HEALTH: 52,945,000
MANA: 16,585,000,000
STRENGHT: 120
AGILITY: 290
STAMINA: 5520
INTELLECT: 23754
SPIRIT: 12019
KARMA: Neutral

Equipment: Sash of Supreme Acumen, Khadgar's Pipe of Insight, Archus...

Once our powers of observation grew powerful enough, I saw the world through a lens. It was like walking the world while having one eye peek over the game master's shoulder. I sighed and stopped trying to pry deeper into Antonidas' status. For one, I didn't even know if those numbers were good. Not for the first time, I wished that I had fallen into a Dungeons and Dragons world. At least prestidigitation was considered a low level spell there; I wouldn't have to study a whole bunch just to learn the most simplistic things. And for another, I doubted that Antonidas would just sit here for us to study.

They were nice numbers though, big and large. If I had any inkling of their meaning, I might have went far as question how Arthas had been able to defeat him. But the power of destiny is and always will be a powerful thing...

"You've been expecting me?" His eyebrows rose to his forehead. He stroked his beard distractedly, but his acute eyes followed my movements as I welcomed him into our room. He knew something about me, perhaps?

This was not how I had planned our first meeting however. I nodded, "Are you not Antonidas, ruler of Dalaran?"

"You have me at a loss, young lady," He clarified immediately. His eyes swerved over the room and took in everything about our habitat. It looked like he was already forming his own conclusions about us and me in particular. "A student of magic too... you seem to think you know more about me than I do of you."

"Well, that is to be expected, since you're a public figure written about in books and I'm... a twelve year old girl," I replied not without a hint of sarcasm.

He huffed like he had choked down a chuckle and peered down at our gloriously set tea table. "Tell me, do you know what was my first accomplishment, Miss Proudmoore? The one that really, truly set me apart from my peers?"

"Oh, I don't know, is it your thesis about the—"

"No." He cut us off immediately, his eyes piercing and sharp. There was an edge to his voice, as if speaking to one of the thousands of imbeciles he dealt with on a daily basis, like he want to choke the ignorance out of us with a flux of knowledge. The radiance of power was back and brighter than before, visible and tangible in the room. Beside us, Finn seemed to have a hard time breathing.

"... er, what?" I was actually about to ramp up for a rant of my own.

"No, Miss Proudmoore. That is not my first accomplishment. That is but a study and the first scrap of knowledge I shared with my peers. People are inherently superstitious. They believe in the folk lore of hedge wizards and follow the archaic rituals of high elves, but both have become obsolete in the last one hundred years. Do you know why that is, Miss Proudmoore?" He asked, invitingly. I felt not intimidated to want to converse with him under this atmosphere, for it seemed like even if he was so vastly more knowledgeable than I was, he would not laugh at me for my guesses. It was a rather silly feeling, since it was the feeling a chimp would have when a human would teach it to use sign language rather than to use it to test the toxicity of cosmetics.

"For thousands of years, we have learned magic through the same methods of 'try, observe, and try again' school of thought. It was passed down to us from the high elves, and from various myths to them. But that is limiting, not in what mysteries we study but how we study," He lectured, while pouring himself a cup of lemon drink. "Perhaps others will disagree, but my contribution to the arts was the formalization and standardization of the process. There is never a need for guesswork, superstitions, or folk lore, when there is science to be done."

He was cold and bold about it, as if there was no arguing with him. There was a sort of charm, but if you knew what to look for you could see it very well. It was very similar to how Steve Jobs was after his return to Apple. He, oh. Oh! Oh... I get it. "Oh, you're a psychopath."

Antonidas blinked not unkindly and smiled further, "I like you. You have the boldness of a much older woman, Miss Proudmoore."

"... Thank you?" I blinked, confused.

"That wasn't a compliment." He replied jokingly? Probably? I couldn't get a read on him anymore and all we used Observe on were still objects or people while they weren't paying attention. I never bothered trying to us it as a mind reading skill yet, so it was so hard to see why he was smiling further. "You think I'm here to recruit you."

"Well, yes, of course." That was obvious, wasn't it? Why else would he be here? I ought to pencil in trying to learn to read minds sometime in the future however. "Why, you don't think I deserve to go to your whatever bullshit magic school?"

"I can tell you all you need to know about yourself, young lady. I can tell you more about yourself than you know about yourself." He went along with the conversation, as if we were truly just having tea.

"Oh, I highly doubt that, even if you are... very smart." He didn't have the ability to just Observe something and just read off all that data just neatly complied and scripted into a pop-up window, after all. I leaned forward, staring him down and calling his bluff. Jaina panicked inside us, firing a hundred questions at me. She thought I was trying to get us out of going if I just insulted Antonidas enough. She didn't see that the man was not insulted. How could a leader of men be insulted by a twelve year old girl who could do nothing to him, in a room of almost absolute privacy?

His face never so much as twitched, and he only leaned back against his chair. He took a sip, "I do, and do you know how I do, young lady? Statistics, data analysis, and things that you can learn of in Dalaran."

"Oh yeah? Well, why don't you prove... wait, what was that? Did you just say learn in Dalaran? But I thought you..." Jaina blurted out for us. I thought for a moment there Jaina was going to make us go cross-eyed, because of how panicked she was.

"You have what it takes to join my, ah, how did you so eloquently put it? My 'whatever bullshit magic school', was it?"He smirked over his tea cup before setting it down. There was an audible clatter. "Theorize, observe, hypothesize, predict, gather data, and so on and so forth. When I first though of standardization, it was just the next logical step for me. For everyone else, it was the next logical step only after I had explained the idea. It was simple enough to begin with, and I had done so with so many other processes of magic. Now, Dalaran is on the forefront of learning that the high elf prince is arriving to learn from us. It was with that same process that I deducted you would excel in the academy or as an apprentice."

Hold on a minute, there was... "You spied on me!"

He actually rolled his eyes at this.

I sighed, realizing I was right, but that there was nothing I could do about it.

"Miss Proudmoore, I do not spy on little girls. That is unbecoming of me." He paused, before adding, "I have people to do that for me. If you do not understand, that was a joke. Miss Goldensword—no, not you Finnal, your mother—has informed me of your curiosity and the amount of powerful flowing into and out of you. It is indeed as if you were a grown and trained wizard, but you are not."

"What? How would you even know that without Father knowing?" We felt the heart pounding return.

"A large amount of energy—pure, arcane energy in such concentrations not even witnessed at the Sun Well—keep flowing to you from the rather stormy oceans to the west." He stated. His face was grim. He was not joking now. "What do you know of that, Miss Proudmoore?"

"Um." Oh, that was probably my soul doing the whatever thingamajiggy soul bullshit that allowed me to have rather unique and hilarious powers. That thing. Oh, it's noticeable. And... people can track it. And... they can study it. Oh. Oh... "... I don't know what you are talking about?"

He stared.

"I plead the fifth?"

Antonidas sighed. "I cannot persuade you to give up your course on dangerous magics, Miss Proudmoore, but I can use my position to insure your safety and the safety of those around us, such as the world. Do you understand me, Miss Proudmoore?"

"You're saying you're offering me a position as your apprentice, but not because I am that talented. It is because you think I'm dabbling in fel magics that might somehow destroy the world?" I blinked. I was quite flattered, to be honest. But Jaina was having another anxiety attack for some unknown reason. Really, Jaina, get it together, girl. "I'm flattered, sir, but I don't know... even if I did I doubt I can do anything that catastrophic."

He chortled and shook his head. "No, Miss Proudmoore. I do not expect you to be able to do such a thing either. There is no need to be dramatic. But you are not the first student to delve into the unknown, to cause unknown effects upon the world."

He said it with such conviction and forlorn knowledge that I almost thought he was the one who accidentally accidented the world before. That couldn't be right. "Um, thank you?"

Antonidas sighed again. "That wasn't a compliment, Miss Proudmoore."

I blinked.

"That said, you have open to you two options, Miss Proudmoore," He reached into his flowing robes and from somewhere that was obviously not on this dimension, pulled out a scroll that was just a tidbit too large to fit into his robes. It was thick, and there were golden letters on it that sparkled and change. They scrambled and rearranged themselves with each passing second. I thought I was going to get a seizure from staring at it for too long.

"And what might they be?" We asked in unison. I tore our eyes away from the script and back to Antonidas, noticing how amused he was by our reaction.

"First, you can be a regular student within Dalaran. What you cannot provide will be provided to you once you choose one of three sponsors, the Kirin Tor, the Mages' Guild, or the Sorcerers' League. Each will have their rules to abide by, but they can be summed up as limiting and boring and general education for the underachieving wizard. You do not want to choose this route, Miss Proudmoore, unless you wish to squander your opportunities and be a lackey, a minion, and a nobody," Antonidas intoned. He certainly cut to the chase immediately, and he expected me to abide by his predictions instead.

Well, fine. If that was how he wanted to play it, I'd at least give him the respect and listen to his proposal. It would be a hard life if I somehow did spurn him and cause enmity between us. "Alright, then what is my other option?"

He nodded along. "The other option is to be my apprentice, Miss Proudmoore. It is a more prestigious position, but you and I do not care for prestige. We are people who care for results. You will certainly have more resources at your disposal, but you are a princess of a major power, and so I do not doubt you can acquire anything if you set your mind to it. But you will have access to my mind, Miss Proudmoore, and all the other wizards who are like me, and pursue a greater goal for a greater good. Of course, this means you will need to change somethings about..." He waving lazily at our... everything.

"What?" We blinked and frowned indignantly, "What? What's wrong with the way I am? I'm getting along with my studies perfectly."

Antonidas nodded again, but now it just felt condescending. "Sure, sure, Miss Proudmoore. But sometimes, you have to change what is already, ahem, "perfect" to something of your own. Do not worry your pretty little head over it, for any changes you make are simply my instructions for you to be a better you."

I tilted our head and narrowed our eyes at him funnily, with a half-smirk as I thought I had finally figured out a side of him that was not in the games. "... You're the kind of guy who fixes something that's already working."

"And you'll be the one to clean up my mess, Miss Proudmoore," He chortled. I wasn't sure if I should be amused. He turned back to the scroll, which was now switching back and forth between 'Terms of Academic Residence in Dalaran' and 'Terms of Apprenticeship'. "Now that we are done describing the age old institution of apprentices and mentors, what is your choice?"

It was boiled down pretty easily for us. Freedom or knowledge?


---
Note: I think I need help from people who know Warcraft 2. And maybe some refreshers from Warcraft 3. I'll be honest, I never played 1 or 2. Can anyone help me with that?

 

[Xicree]

Note: I think I need help from people who know Warcraft 2. And maybe some refreshers from Warcraft 3. I'll be honest, I never played 1 or 2. Can anyone help me with that?

Click to shrink...

Sure Fishie dearest. I'll toss you a line once I get a chance.

I did a bunch of Warcraft 1 and 2 research for my Harpy and Murloc quests. Something may have stuck.

 

[drake_azathoth]

~Awesome stuff!

Glad you started this out here, even if you're mirroring it elsewhere. I vividly remember your Jaina quests and it seemed like you had a lot of ideas, it'll be fun to see what you're doing with some of those ideas and a less serious storyline. Your Azula story was also great, but she's such an established character it was easy to see how a lot of things would turn out. It'll be interesting to see what you have in mind with Jaina. I find the portrayal of Antonidas thus far hilarious, and moreso Fishie's reaction to him. "Oh, you're a psychopath."

 

[a2znut]

"A large amount of energy—pure, arcane energy in such concentrations not even witnessed at the Sun Well—keep flowing to you from the rather stormy oceans to the west." He stated. His face was grim. He was not joking now. "What do you know of that, Miss Proudmoore?"

Click to shrink...

Planewalker time again?

Also Fishy, why are you so fond of spelling Strength as Strenght?

 

[d.fish]

Planewalker time again?

Also Fishy, why are you so fond of spelling Strength as Strenght?

Click to shrink...

Wait what where

 

[a2znut]

Wait what where

Click to shrink...

MANA: 165/165
STRENGHT: 20
AGILITY: 20

Click to shrink...

MANA: 16,585,000,000
STRENGHT: 120
AGILITY: 290

Click to shrink...

 

[d.fish]

balrghafdgad

 

[a2znut]

Fish vomit D:

 

[d.fish]

Chapter 8



"Before I can make a decision, I would like to ask one thing," I said. I sighed internally, because this was more for Jaina than it was for me. I would have accepted immediately, being the shameless slut for power that I was. No, wait, I'm a pure and innocent maiden, and no one can say otherwise.

"Of course," He nodded congenially. "There are many considerations you should think about before making such a decision. Shall I return on a different date?"

We shook our head. Jaina was too filled with the impatience of youth. She wanted to learn, and learning at the feet of the greatest scholar in all of the world was no simple thing. This was the chance of a lifetime. She didn't even question me about if I knew anything about the strange reason that drew Antonidas to us. A child improvised; an adult planned. Well, I was a child too then, in this case, but I had different thoughts in mind. I did not want to seem too eager or wanton. No one liked clinginess, after all. "No, that would not be necessary. I simply wish to know if my friend Finn can join me in being your apprentice."

Finn rolled her eyes beside me. "Oh, finally remembered me, did you? You didn't even ask if I wanted to go with this strange old man to Light-knows-where in his magical castle and take his colorful candies to, ah, "learn magic"!"

I blinked. "Wow, you make it sound so bad."

She raised an eyebrow at us silently.

"Fine, I'm sorry I didn't look at it from your perspective," We rolled our eyes in response. "But tell me the truth. Do you really want to stay in this cramped, little cabin in the middle of the ocean in who-knows-where for who-knows-how-long until the end of the war or go on a magical adventure?"

Finn stared back at us. For a moment, only sound of the creaking wood and splashing waves filled the room. If this were a movie, this would have been the moment when the camera panned out to show the entirety of our two meter by two meter room in all of its tininess.

We raised an eyebrow at her, no less sarcastically in our silence.

She slumped after that and pouted. "Oh, fine. S'not like I'm tired of pretending to have tea parties or anything."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and waved at the ceiling, whispering in a hushed voice, "But think about it, Finn! We could go beat up bandits and steal their tea and drink it on the backs of half-dead ogres. It'd be beautiful."

A single tear leaked out of her eyes and she turned away with a sniffle. "... Yeah."

"Ahem." Antonidas cleared his throat. "If that is quite enough of that drama, ladies? I would not be against taking on your friend, Miss Proudmoore, but she is your responsibility. You shall vouch for her, make sure she stays out of trouble, and you will make sure she does not stain the name of the Kirin Tor. Do you understand me, young lady?"

"You make this sound like I'm—" I began to say.

"Do you understand, Miss Proudmoore? Responsibility, young lady." Antonidas interrupted, clearly making sure that everything wrong would be pinned on us. It was what made a great leader, after all, so I understood. You needed to be able to deny and pin everything on everyone else, else you'd never be a leader of people. At least he didn't seem to be much of a hypocrite, and he wasn't lying to my face. That already made him better than pretty much every other politician I knew!

I felt like I was in a pet shop and Finn was my new puppy. "... Yes."

"Very well then, I see no troubles with that. If you will make your decision then, Miss Proudmoore?" He placed the scroll on our tiny table. It still flickered back and forth, since we had not given word on our choice. "I am a busy man, and I have much to attend to. Like a war of defense against orcish aggression, if you remember."

"I thought you were monitoring Khadgar," I blurted. It was the one key note of import that even referred to Antonidas in the Second War, or as normal people called it, Warcraft 2: Tits of Dorkness. At least, if I remembered correctly that was the title. During that time, one of the key characters of the lore, Khadgar, who was the apprentice and student of Medivh—a man I had referred to several times prior as a rather central plot point—went around doing important missions for the Alliance of Lordaeron, such as the closing of the Dark Portal (the portal that the orcs came through) and the investigation of Draenor (the orcs' homeland).

He frowned, "And how... exactly... do you know this, Miss Proudmoore?"

Oh. Wait. Those might be secret missions. Huh. "Uh..."

"Yes?" He seemed to put on a veneer of joking calm, but we felt the pulse of power return.

"Actually, what's this even about? What are you guys talking about now?" Finn butted in too, upset at being out of the loop on our conversation. She leaned closer too.

"Uh..." I looked between them. "It was an educated guess? How about we go back to that apprentice bullshit thingy, eh? I'll totally be your student, no problem!"

He expressed some sense of surprise, but only enough to seem like an act. "And you are not saying this because you do not want to answer the previous question, Miss Proudmoore?"

"... nope!"

"Very well," He nodded again. The scroll's letters no longer changed. They stayed as 'Terms of Apprenticeship' and rather simple words too. I didn't notice any fine print. That was probably a good thing. "I shall speak with your father about this later. I am sure he is worried about your confinement on his flagship."

Scroll of Certificate of Apprenticeship
This is the contract between Antonidas and Jaina Proudmoore to protect, provide, and learn from each other. It is binding in that both can be identified using it and it is proof of the relationship. This can also be used to requisition items from various quartermasters and storages on the authority of either signatories. It also notes adds that Finnal Goldensword is Jaina Proudmoore's page for the duration of the apprenticeship.
Cost: 0 Gold

"Oh..." We had a flashback to when Father jumped from the crow's nest atop the ship onto a black dragon, kicked its rider off, before wrassling the dragon into submission and smiling down at us from across the deck as if he had just won the Father of the Year award. "I'm sure he'll cope."

Antonidas blinked at the strange reply. "Very good. Miss Goldensword, Miss Proudmoore. I shall see you within the week. Let me be the first to welcome you to Dalaran School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

I momentarily went cross-eyed, even far he had already exited the room. Then we turned to Finn, "Where have I heard that title before?"

"Beats me," Finn shrugged. "You're a strange girl, you know that, Jaina?"

 

[FreshwaterPlimpie]

This is the best thing ever.

 

[a2znut]

Suspicion aroused, +1

 

[NPC]

Been really liking this story. Will be interesting to see Dalaran from the inside. Kind of a shame the only time I ever saw it was when I was burning it down in the undead campaign. I really like the interactions and characterization of Antonidas. Hope to see more soon.

Any plans to find the Book of Medivh?

Spoiler: My thoughts after reading this story.

I remember those items from in WC3.
This is making me feel nostalgic.
Now I'm downloading WC3 again.
And I beat the human campaign again.
Thanks fishy, another four hours of my life gone.
Where's my WC4 Blizzard? WHERE!?
No I don't want a WoW expansion about pandas just give me my damn sequel!
While wondering about Blizzard's next game, "WoW2 NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

 

[d.fish]

Speaking of WC4, I hear there may be a WC3HD coming around soon.

 

[NPC]

Well I know what another two hundred hours of my life are meant for. Hope some of the vets port their old custom games over, those were the best.

 

[d.fish]

If I remember correctly, a lot of the old custom games were ported to the custom games of Dota 2.

 

[NPC]

If I remember correctly, a lot of the old custom games were ported to the custom games of Dota 2.

Click to shrink...

Some but not all. I'm still looking for a good Island Troll Tribes, Werewolf Transylvania, Trolls vs Elves, and Dark Deeds. A few are in SC2 Arcade but SC2 is just not made to support the micro intensive nature of those games. Not to mention the colors and models in sc2 doesn't help.

Funny how something as small as six item slots and a choice between three powers for your heroes makes the game feel so different

Maybe I just like fantasy more then sifi in my rts games.

Guess I'll give Dota 2 a look once winter break begins.

 

[d.fish]

I hope the characterization of Antonidas was alright. I wrote him as the older boss father-figure type of character who's prime was in the 1940's, so he has some rather silly ideas about society even though he created the nuclear bomb, or something like that sort of feeling. It felt like the thing to do.

Also, there are... some plans for various artifacts, I'm not just not sure what, yet.

 

[d.fish]

Chapter 9



There was a tearful farewell between the parent and their child. It was destined to happen, when the child goes to boarding school. I've experienced it once before, back when I was in first grade. Back then, when I was seven, anything that even sounded like 'mother' or 'father' caused me to tear up and unable to function for minutes. Of course, this similar process was the tearful farewell... between Finn and her mom.

Not us, of course. Daelin Proudmoore was too busy being a man's man and wrassling with his men and growing out his beard and rubbing oil on his chest hair and all that stuff. He had no time for tears. Instead, he just handed us a bag of gold and told us to have fun. We weren't even sure if he knew it was us until he added, "Oh, and your mother is dead." We knew he was a busy man and he was probably drunk having to cope with his baby girl going away, but he seemed to have triggered a lot of different triggers with that one.

And after that, it was just me driving our body. Jaina seemed to have just stopped answering or bothering doing anything at all. So it ended up with me staring blankly into his eyes, channeling mana to look like a Midwich kid, and deadpanning, "Father, I am not a person. My body is just a flesh vessel for an immortal being whose name, if you heard it, would make your soul melt out of your butt."

Right, anyway, I got a new quest.

You have a new quest!

Title: Survive the trip to Dalaran.
Description: It is the first adventure of your life, you are to venture forth with the marine guards assigned to you by Daelin Proudmoore and Finnal Goldensword to the the violet city of Dalaran, to see the wonderful wizard of Dalaran. There is no yellow brick road, and tutorial mode has already ended. Don't die.

Victory Conditions: Arrive at Dalaran.
Failure Conditions: Jaina Proudmoore (True) dies. Finnal Goldensword dies.
Failure Results: Prestige loss, favorite toys lost to Tandred Proudmoore, and death.
Bonus: Arrive before the Black Dragonflight sieges Dalaran and get a surprise!

I wonder what the surprise is…

Well, everything was in order, so I clicked accept and we were off. That was yesterday.

Father and Finn's mother had sent twenty guards with us. We were supposed to travel incognito using this riverboat to go from the marshland northward to a wealthy port called Southshore. This was the southern most trading port of Lordaeron. It was from these muddy roads that we were supposed to find a wagon caravan that would take us to the border between Lordaeron and the city-state of Dalaran. It was to be a two week's journey, easily making it into any time restraints that I had artificially instilled on our adventure. For the first day, it was peaceful, even as we reached the southern shores of Lordaeron...

… and then the murlocs attacked.

For the uninitiated, what were murlocs? I didn't know even know what they were until the whole event was done and over with. In the video games and the other medias, you see a green, little midget frog-man with orange feet and great, watery eyes like something out of the most exaggerated point of Japanese animation made into real life. It looked as it sounded—both in the description and the way these critters were made to sound in the games—cute.

Cute.

Cute, cute, cute...

Whoever told me murlocs were cute (actually that's me) should go slap themselves up the back of their heads and do penance for their sins. Cute. Ha!

Cute is not a maw the size of a human torso.

Cute is not a jaw that was half of the body's entire mass.

Cute is not teeth the length of my middle finger, with a layer of decay and yellowing and caked blood between the gaps.

They came at us in the night, as the clouds shrouded over the moonlight. We saw nothing, until dozens of gleaming, red eyes shone in the dark waters. I had, for the briefest of moments, thought we had been hallucinating, because there were no sounds of violence. I heard no growls, no howls, and no announcements of combat, just the calm waters sloshing about...

I was on the side of the dingy, thinking nothing could go wrong. I had twenty of the elite marines of the Alliance of Lordaeron with me, and that was enough to take out a small platoon of orcs or even commandeer one of their juggernaut ships if it only had a skeleton crew. It was enough to man the defense of a fort, to... do a lot of things. The point was, I thought I was safe.

We had been chatting since we set off that morning, actually. It was all nonsense we were talking about ("So did you know if we mixed cough syrup with sugar and soda, it would taste good?"), but we were having fun. Finn was sitting opposite of me, sipping a gin and tonic like I was, and the marines all had whiskey with their captain dipping his hands in pudding, as was tradition. I had broached the topic I had wanted to discuss ("So who here has daddy issues? All of you? Wait what—") and leaned over to relax, when a bit of something slimy dripped onto my forearm.

I frowned, not remembering picking my nose in recent memory, and turned to the source of my annoyance. It was a small droplet of greenish yellow. I thought it was strange, and studied it, thinking of where this could have came from. It looked and felt like mucus, though there was a tinge of something akin to the same sort of hallucinogens that the back of some colorful frogs might have had. Being the curious student of SCIENCE that I was, I turned around and leaned over to see if it was from something in the water.

A hand reached out and grabbed me. I was startled and nearly jumped into the water. As I turned, I noticed it was the hand of one of the junior officers on my shoulder. "Oh, it's just you," I had told her. I had forgotten her name already, because I wasn't paying attention when we were introduced.

She couldn't have been older than me, and yet she was already serving as an apprentice navigator and map maker. She smirked knowingly, "Private Lorena, Navigation Junior Officer Third Class. Lady Proudmoore, I'm just makin' sure you're comfortable, 'cuz the moon's gone 'n we might be runnin' intah trouble."

"Oh, I'm fine," I feigned a smile. What I really wanted to ask was why no one bothered checking up on me while I was on the ship. Of course, there was no point in throwing a tantrum like a spoiled princess who has the exact background as I did. Wait...

"If you are sure," Lorena's smile seemed rather strained too. She was holding onto Finn with her other hand and Finn seemed a tidbit distraught. "It's lookin' like we're under attack."

I peered over as Lorena pushed Finn and I into the water. "Oh."

Perhaps half of one hundred creatures were piling onto the dingy, straining as they ripped marines apart and the wood from the very boat. Blood, wood, bone, metal, and leather were all flying as a frenzy of a melee was occurring on the deck. One grabbed onto my arm, its cold, slimy hands were webbed I noticed. It was also ugly, like a cross breed between several animals after being forced to inbreed for several centuries. Its tongue licked my fingers and a hungered fire sparked in its desperate eyes.

The one good thing about this entire ordeal was that it woke Jaina up. "Wha... what is going on? Why are we in the water? Why is it so cold? What is that thing?"

"It's a midget-water-shark-frog-wolf-thing, and if you haven't been paying attention, I do believe they are trying to eat us." I replied cordially.

"What's wrong with you? Panic! Why are you so calm?" Jaina asked as she pulled our hand back just fast enough to evade the teeth of the monster. Then she slapped it in the face with a dozen arcane missiles, causing its mouth to bulge and its eyes to explode all over our favorite dress... which was already wet and covered in mucus and blood and probably torn in at least three places.

I pondered on Jaina's deep and thoughtful question as she kicked our legs as fast as humanly possible and then some, before coming to a simple conclusion. "I think I'm high. Well, that makes two perks for this whole ordeal."

"What?" Jaina would have turned around to look me in the eyes if we were separate people. Instead, she could only follow Private Lorena, Finn and a tiny, little floating-thing-that-was-probably-one-of-the-gnomish-crew-members-but-could-be-one-of-our-water-monsters swim towards the shore in the distance. "What do you mean 'high'? We're in water!"

And it was then that the moon shone itself through the darkness again, and we saw only a wreckage, with hundreds of bodies. Most of them were of the monsters, but other than the four of us shivering in the darkness and cluttering around one piece of drift wood, there was no survivors...

… Only the sounds of the beasts in the water, in the distance, and in the darkness, wherever they were...

Aughibbrgyubugbugrguburgle...

Aughibbrguburgle...

Aughibbrgyubugbugrguburgle...

Rwl rwl rwl rwl...

… I had assumed they were singing us the song of their people. It was probably something akin to a primitive war ritual for these water primates after a successful ambush. It was also magical in nature, because we could feel it in the air. It made me come down from my high.

After that, we were all panicking and we paddled our way to shore as fast as we could.

That... was yesterday.

Today, we woke, with several crates of goods from our wreckage and a small fire that was hidden from sight. None of us had the strength to stand up just yet and we all just wanted to hide. Not a single person spoke, though the fear drained from us as the tide receded, leaving only something that didn't quite feel right.

My glorious plan of seeing Dalaran was ruined. All I saw was red... and if I had the ability, I would have went on a rampage.

But as we watched the ocean tides wax and wane, I saw in the distance in every direction, thousands names floating in the air. Their words were red as my vision, to belie hostility on sight. They were each nearly impossible to pronounce, and each the name of an individual in a murloc warband. "Lorena, if I told you that we were trapped with warbands of murlocs in every direction as far as the eye could see, what would be your response?"

She turned to us, with bags under her eyes from having kept watch through the early dawn. The raggedness of her hair finally unkempt and nearly causing it to fall from its bun. There was a sort of tired resignation in her eyes and her voice as she spoke with the accent of her Cockney-like people, "Well, Lady Proudmoore, I'd probably say something along the lines of 'Sounds interesting, Lady Proudmoore. Very good. Pip, pip, cheerio, Bob's your uncle, Light save the King and all that... bugger all.' Does that sound about right?"

We shrugged, "Well, almost. They seem to have gotten our scent and are headed our way."

"Jaina," Finn sighed. "Sometimes, I wish you never opened your mouth."

"'Sometimes', huh?" I smirked.

She punched me.

 

[NPC]

Communication near impossible with murlocks. Outnumber by a massive degree. No help in sight. No AoE spells yet. Hope you managed to learn the a teleport spell or have a scroll otherwise Jaina going to be fish bait. Such a sadly ironic death.

 

[a2znut]

If she didn't open her mouth, they would have been taken by surprise and be even more screwed :O

 

[d.fish]

Chapter 10



Perhaps it was because I had such a game player's mind that I was able to analyze the situation calmly as Jaina screamed in my ear. We have few choices; it was either confront the murderous beasts with a last stand or trek further inland. There was a reason why such islands were mostly abandoned colonies—they were usually filled with even more dangerous, more horrifying creatures from watery or fiery depths. As far as Jaina knew, common sense told of monsters with the bodies of fish and heads of men that roamed smaller islands and preyed on the weakness within the hearts of sailors. Jaina also knew these beasts from books, and knew enough to reinforce her fear of confronting them if we ventured further inland.

It was a big enough island that from first glance, we thought we had hit the beaches of Lordaeron. But as far as I knew, murlocs did not live inland, and we saw groups of them behind some trees and hills near the shores from our perspective. It did not look good for us and I took the moment to review what we had.

We had us, of course. We had Finnal, and Felicia Sexopants. I kept forgetting that Finnal was dragging around a glass ball filled with a polymorphed kitten that was once one of the most powerful and loyal warlocks that the orcs ever had. I bet he was tripping out of his mind at this point. But other than them, what did we have?

Private Lorena
Junior Navigator 3rd​ Class
Level 31

Private Tinky Wickwhistle
Former Blind Bandit
Level 33

Crate of Supplies
Jar of Coal Tar – 5
Marine Uniform – 10
Harpoon – 2

Crate of Supplies
Plank of Wood – 10
Wooden Pole – 4
Compass – 2

Crate of Supplies
Shipwright's Tools – 2
Stack of Green Lizard Hide – 4

Murloc Corpses – 10 (ish?)

Shipwrecked Dingy
2 Percent HP
Needs repair before use. Looks like a few, broken pieces of wood stuck together.

… There wasn't much here except for supplies, actually. Level-wise, these murlocs were mostly in their teens, but as we saw the previous night, a dozen of them could overwhelm a single experienced sailor. This wasn't a game, after all.

We had a lot of supplies, which we had probably clung to in order to even float to shore. The waters were too cold at night for much movement. To be frank, I thought we were lucky to even get to shore in one night. But now was not the time to think of how lucky we were. No matter how the next couple minutes turned out, it wasn't going to be very comfortable. "Come on, I think we got this," I said to Jaina.

"How do we 'got this'? There's... hundreds of them! I can see them!" She paused. "How can I see them? What did you do?"

My lips thinned to a line. "Why is it always my fault?"

Jaina raised our eyebrow at that. "Are you saying it's not?"

"Well, I mean, it's just really unfair!" I protested.

"And so what?" Jaina rubbed our temples. "Is it really unfair if it's the truth?"

I pouted, "What's wrong with being able to see them? Isn't that a good thing?"

Jaina rolled our eyes, "It makes us weird."

"What's wrong with weird?" I blinked.

"I don't want to... stand out. I just want to fit in and study!" Jaina replied, reminding me of how almost all children, back when they were in their adolescents, were awkward around everyone else their age and wished to just fit it. It wasn't until they were adults, all wearing the same suits and ties, that they wished to stand out somehow. Of course, I had gone through those phases a few times, and observed them enough to know I couldn't fight against such preservation instincts anyway.

So I shrugged, "Hey, you'll live with this one, if no one knows about it."

"You just told them!" She pointed at our companions.

"... Oh. Right. Um." That was not on purpose.

Jaina only gathered momentum from that point on. "Don't you do that again! What happened?"

I really felt this was unfair though, and I voiced those opinions. "It's really not my fault we have a special power! It's just a racial trait called Perception! I thought all humans had it. Maybe Lorena needs glasses or something?"

"You know glasses are only fashion pieces the very rich can afford," Jaina replied, slightly affronted by the offhand comment. "But a racial trait? As in something common in all humans? How come I couldn't see so far before?"

I shrugged. "Maybe you're just coming into your power now."

"Fine." She sighed.

"Fine?" I asked. "Really?"

"Yes. What else could I say? It's not like I want to force you to tell me something you don't know." Jaina responded reasonably before peering over the horizon. "So what are we going to do about this mess?"

I dropped it too, since there was nothing to add. "We could try to fight our way—"

"You know that won't work," Jaina cut me off then.

"Well, not with that attitude," I huffed.

Jaina uncrossed our arms and counted to ten in our head before saying calmly, "Even with a different attitude. Now what's the crazy scheme that you had in our mind that we ought to try? Since nothing else is going to work in this situation, we could do whatever you're thinking. I really wish this whole adventure was just done and over with, so let's hurry it up."

"You're such a party pooper," I slumped. "Why can't we just have fun for once?"

"Not with that attitude," she threw my phrase back at me.

"Fine," I conceded. See, life was all about compromises. I knew she want to sit next to a cozy fire with a good book and a creamy hot chocolate and she knew I wanted to watch the world burn. So the compromise would probably to sit next to a burning world with a good book and a creamy hot chocolate. Well, compromises actually never worked for companies, or countries, or anything that required decisive actions in that a mixed action never worked well. However, the compromise here was not that sort of decisive action, but an action where right now we did things my way, but once we were at Dalaran, we'd do things her way. And I was fine with that. "But for now, let's do it my way."

"Fine." And thus, we finished our conversation in the span of one second in real time. It was funny how mind-conversations worked when you didn't have to sub-vocalize everything, wasn't it?

Everyone else looked at us funnily.

"What?" I asked with a huff. "No time to make funny facial expressions, ladies, because we have work to do. Why are you all looking at me funny? Sheesh!"

"Uh..." Finn tried to speak up.

"Right, Finn, I need you to grab those green leathers and cut them up and piece them together into a cloak or a suit, you know, like the skin-tight one your mom wears or the cloak with the sleeves she has," We took the reins immediately. It was time for decisive action and SCIENCE.

"Wha...?" Lorena blinked in confusion.

"Lorena, you see that one large murloc that's bigger and brighter than the other corpses? Skin it... wait, we probably don't have time for the whole thing, just get the head first, I want a scalping done proper," I pointed at the big one with the yellow and red spikes growing out of the crown of its skull and the blue spots. Its skin was pretty and we had vague memories of it being the first to jump on the dingy, which was probably why it was stuck to a piece of the remains of the dingy. "And Tinky?"

She looked like she was about to puke. Maybe she already puked in her mouth, for efficiency? "... Yes, milady?"

"Help us piece this thing together and make it a proper murloc suit with some mojo." We were the child in the candy store and all those pieces of red candies were so many pieces of delicious experience! What pure and innocent maiden would not feel joy in the coming feast? I added with a bright, innocent, and happy smile, "I'm gonna wear its face."

 

[Adyen]

It's funny that the font didn't break on this version.

Clearly it's stating that QQ is better than SB.

 

[d.fish]

It's funny that the font didn't break on this version.

Clearly it's stating that QQ is better than SB.

Click to shrink...

Well, I'm not going to argue with you about that here!

 

[Xicree]

"I'm gonna wear its face."

Click to shrink...

The best of all possible lines ^_^