1.1 - Initialization
Annette worked tirelessly, the nanoscopic components were very delicate...
Annette worked tirelessly, the nanoscopic components were very delicate...
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User | Total |
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Shadow of doubt | 3 |
Thanks for the advice, will do!contact a mod to move this story from the normal forum to the NSFW section
even if it has no NSFW content at all, the NSFW section gets much more traffic and readers, and there are many stories there without any pornographic content at all, so it shouldn't be a problem if you put a tag like 'no smut content'
With the whole situation where spacebattles and sufficient velocity went down for a time I thought it prudent to have a another place to upload it.
For now, though, I'll keep my observations to myself, no use tainting her chance for a better ending!
Thanks for your advice. I will continue with this fic as I very much enjoy the premises, but writing is not my main focus unfortunately.I really like the concept behind this! not enough people write fics focusing on Annette, and Taylor's... upgrade looks to be interesting so far. I will say that something about your writing style feels a little awkward, and sometimes the tone of what a character is saying/thinking doesn't quite match what I'd expect it to be based on who they are and the situation they are in. For example:
that feels kind of... upbeat and optimistic, despite armsmaster's character being anything but, and the situation itself being tense, with a possible undercurrent of fear due to the biotinker and her possibly mastered definitely unstable daughter/superweapon still being near enough that Annette might be able to get a distress signal of some sort out. I'm not entirely sure how I'd rewrite it, but the biggest concrete advice I can give is to find a way to remove that exclamation mark, it feels especially out of place to me.
I really hope you find time to continue this!
Well if you know anything about the source material, just give me a few chapters.Just because something doesn't have 'smut' in it doesn't mean it shouldn't be in NSFW either.
Extreme violence, particularly if it is descriptive counts too.