Snek is a Good Boy [a Worm Crackfic]

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-One: Home Is Where the Heart Is

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]


Sveta, Later

Sunlight danced on the waves, and the sails billowed gently. The boat left a ruler-straight wake with Karol's steady hand at the tiller. Bron, at the bow, shaded his eyes and scanned the water ahead while Sveta kept the sails trimmed.

"Can you see anything?" Karol called forward. "Should we cast the nets here, or keep going?"

"Nothing. I see nothing." Bron huffed in irritation. "Where could they be?"

Esmerelda erupted from the water alongside the boat and circled Sveta once before landing on her shoulder. Sveta had known she was coming, and reached up to caress her neck as she furled her wings. "There's fish down there," she informed both men. They could tell it was true, because Esmerelda had one in her mouth.

"Well, that's a start." Karol nodded to her, and she paid off the line to let wind spill from the mainsail. "Can your clever little beast tell us where?"

"She knows they're down there, and there's a lot of them, but compass directions aren't really her thing." Sveta urged Esmerelda off her shoulder; without demur, the hearth-dragon took to the air once more, swallowing the fish at the same time. Balancing easily, she pulled off her shirt and stepped out of her trousers. Underneath this clothing, she wore a one-piece made of some water-resistant material she was unfamiliar with, but which had enough give in it to make for a reasonable wetsuit. "I'll go have a look."

Bron shook his head as she prepared to go over the side. "I will never be used to this."

She grinned at him, then dived in. Esmerelda followed, the little dragon piercing the water as easily as she had. Beneath the waves, Esmerelda folded her wings in tight and undulated along at a frankly impressive speed. Sveta wasn't quite as fast or agile, but she was still far better than any merely human swimmer. As an added bonus, she could breathe the water as easily as she could the air above, and her eyes automatically adapted once she was submerged so she could see clearly, even into the darker depths.

Esmerelda—Sveta called her that because she was greenish and the name appealed to both of them—let out a drumming chirp that reverberated through the water, then led the way off to the side. She was very pleased with herself, which was understandable once Sveta saw the massive school of fish ahead of them. Normally there would've been some activity on the surface, but this lot were deeper than normal, which was why Bron had seen nothing.

Got it. Back to the boat. While the words didn't transmit directly over their bond, the intent was clear enough, and Esmerelda fell in beside her as they returned to the small craft. Sveta was deeply in tune with her, to the extent that she knew Esmerelda would be stealing at least one fish from their catch on the way back to the harbour. Karol and Bron had never argued her right to do so, and Sveta didn't think they were about to start.

Unlike Esmerelda, she couldn't jump a body-length out of the water on sheer speed, but she could come mostly out and, with a hand on the gunwale, vault into the boat in a shower of spray. This she did, landing on her feet and steadying herself into a crouch. Esmerelda landed next to Sveta and shook salt water off her wings.

"You have returned," Karol greeted her imperturbably. "That was fast. Have you found the fish already?"

"I have," she confirmed, and pointed. "That way, perhaps five hundred feet. It's a big school. We'll have to put the nets deep."

As Karol turned the rudder and the boat heeled onto the new course, Bron whooped with excitement. "See, brother? I told you she would be good luck to bring along!"

"You told me?" Karol laughed out loud. "Brother, you didn't say a word. I was the one who welcomed her aboard!"

Sveta tuned them out as she skimmed the water off her one-piece and re-donned her fishing clothes. Esmerelda was gliding alongside the boat as she finished, sharp eyes watching the ocean ahead. While Karol steered, Bron came back to where the nets were prepared, and Sveta worked with him to cast them to port and starboard. She knew the moment when the nets found the school, as the boat actually seemed to stagger in the water from the weight of fish they'd encountered.

And then they were laughing with the exhilaration as she took Karol's place at the tiller, while he and Bron worked to heave their catch on board. As the first fish, silvery and flopping, slithered into the bottom of the boat, she knew this would be a good day, a good catch.

<><>​

Elmora Reborn

"So you think she's really from Bet?" asked Krouse. Reaching across, he squeezed Noelle's hand, and she returned the gesture. "It's a bit of a reach, don't you think? A fishing village in the middle of nowhere?"

Elmora shrugged. "I don't know what else she could be. You'd only get the name 'Reborn' from one place, right? So, I want to know. See where she fits in. Hell, she might even be someone I knew, back when."

"What if she doesn't want a reminder of where she came from?" asked Marissa. Still learning the trade of magic, she'd found in herself an affinity for fire-based spells, which discovery had caused half her teammates to facepalm and the other half to fall about laughing. "Ending up here is pretty well a guarantee of a shitty life story."

"Also," offered Oliver, "she might not even be from Bet. We all saw how many worlds the Master of the Castle watches over."

"In a phrase," Jess snarked, "far too many."

Noelle shrugged. "Well, we're here now. May as well see how it plays out." She shaded her eyes and looked out over the harbour and the ocean beyond. "Did they say when the fishing boats were due back in?"

"Dusk, at the very latest," Paige said. "I checked. They come back earlier if they've had a really good catch, but otherwise they try to hold off until just before last light." She plucked at the strings of her instrument, a simple tune. Glowing motes drifted upward, then dissolved in the afternoon breeze.

At that moment, Ranger looked around from his perch on Noelle's shoulder, and stared out to sea. The green hearth-dragon had accompanied her, as far as Elmora knew, from the Travellers' earliest days on the Master's world, and had proven his worth a hundred times over. He let out an authoritative chirp, causing Noelle to tilt her head and reach up to stroke his neck.

"She's coming back in now, I think. Nobody else here has a hearth-dragon, and he says there's one on the way."

Elmora eyed Ranger appreciatively. "That's useful to know." While she would've liked to have bonded with a hearth-dragon herself—they liked her well enough, and she them—she'd never found herself clicking with one on an emotional level. She suspected this was at least in part due to the fact that she was still basically an asshole, and not truly interested in changing her ways.

They headed out onto the dock and watched the boat come in; riding low in the water, it was sluggish to respond to the sails and rudder, but the crew were clearly skilled enough to handle it. As it got closer, the call went out and people started heading down to the dock. At Noelle's unspoken gesture, the Travellers stepped aside and let them get along with it.

"Sveta and Esmerelda steered us right onto a huge school!" called out the burly man at the tiller. "If we'd filled the nets any fuller, we would've been swimming home!"

As the laughing, chattering villagers began moving the catch from the boat into large tubs they'd brought down onto the dock, the woman stepped onto the dock and looked around. Elmora knew the moment when the blue-green hearth-dragon on Sveta's shoulder spotted Ranger, because they both took flight and headed for each other. It looked for a moment like they were going to clash, but instead they flew in a spiral pattern around each other, chirping and squawking happily.

Sveta moved toward them with the rolling stride of someone used to the rock and sway of a small boat. "Hello," she said politely. "You have a nice hearth-dragon."

"So do you," Noelle said. "Noelle Meinhardt, of the Travellers. Maybe you've heard of us?"

"Not as such, no." Sveta tilted her head slightly. "Though with that name, I bet you're not from around here." Whatever magic it was that allowed them to speak the local language fluently, also made them hear the words in English.

Elmora chuckled and stepped forward to hold out her hand. "I see what you did there. Elmora Reborn, once of New York City, trying to live down a ton of bad decisions I made back in the day."

"Well, my major life-changing decisions were mostly made for me, but I was still in a bad way when Snek brought me here." Sveta's grip was firm, with a calloused palm that was evidently no stranger to hard work. "Sveta, also Reborn. They used to call me Garotte. Case fifty-three."

"Been there, done that," Noelle agreed. "I never got a cape name, but bad decisions led to bad things happening. And wow, you never actually heard of the Travellers? I think you just made Krouse pout."

"I am not pouting," Krouse protested, apparently more by reflex than anything else. "I just thought, you know, we were more well-known than that."

"We deliberately kept our heads down so we wouldn't draw more attention than we could handle," Jess reminded him. We didn't want people to hear about us."

"Mainly due to me," concluded Noelle. "So, are you free right now to stop and chat, or do they need your help in unloading the boat?"

Sveta glanced over her shoulder. "Looks like they've got enough hands on the job at the moment. We'll likely be heading out again in an hour or so, once the guys have cleared the boat out and we've had something to eat. So, what's your hearth-dragon's name?"

"Oh, I called him Ranger, after the woodland class in Ransack," Noelle explained as they started off the dock, back toward the village. "I know it never got as big in Bet as it did in Aleph, but did you ever play it?"

"That's where you're from? Huh." Sveta shook her head. "No, I played a game called Space Opera. Badly." She held up her hands and wiggled her fingers. "I was kind of lacking these at the time. Just a bunch of murder-tentacles."

Elmora grinned. "Actually, I think I do remember you. You're a bit taller than the last time I saw you."

Paige rolled her eyes and elbowed Elmora in the ribs. "Be nice. We're none of us who we were back then. Everyone's made a fresh start, and we're doing the best we can."

"It's fine." Sveta looked up at where Esmerelda was taking Ranger on what looked like a high-speed tour of the whole village. "Since I met Esmerelda, I've been able to accept what I did and what I was, and move on from everything without collapsing under the guilt." She glanced over at Noelle. "So, what does your bond with Ranger do for you? Esmerelda's an Ocean strain, so she's entirely at home in the water, to the point that she can breathe it, and so can I."

Noelle smiled fondly as she watched the darker green hearth-dragon darting after the ocean-foam one. "Ranger's a Forest strain. Once we get into the greenery, we can totally vanish. It's thoroughly useful in our line of business."

"Your line of business?" Sveta led them into what appeared to be the village tavern. "Gretz, pour us some drinks, please. These are new friends of mine."

The age-bent man behind the counter looked up and smiled. "Friend o' yours is a friend o' ours, Sveta girl. I hear you brought in another bumper catch just the now?"

"We did, yes." She ducked her head modestly. "Though it was more Esmerelda's doing than mine."

"And if you were not here, nor would be the wee dragon," Gretz reminded her. "Sit y'selves down. I'll have your drinks and eats out momentarily."

From the tone of Sveta's voice, she knew enough not to argue. "Thank you, Gretz." She gestured to a table. "Let's sit, and you can tell me about what you do for a living, and what's been happening in the wider world."

"You know, you can come with us when we go," offered Noelle.

Sveta shook her head. "No, I'm happy here. This is what I like doing. This is where I belong."

<><>​

Snek

Snek is resting on winding-post when Master magic says people need help on Mouse world. Snek unwinds from winding-post and opens wriggle-hole. When Snek goes through, is in village like sharp-tooth lizards have, but humans here instead.

Snek sees people who need help. Is old and young people, standing in front of shadow-Snek that has bone crocodile skull for head. Snek think scales better for head, and nice hat on top, like Snek got from nice hat lady. Master magic tells Snek that shadow-Snek wants to eat old people and children.

Snek does not like that. Master has told Snek to not hurt children. Old people who have not done bad things should not be hurt either. Shadow-Snek wants to do a bad thing.

Snek wriggles forward and raises head. "Iss bad to eat children," he says to shadow-Snek.

Shadow-Snek does not speak to Snek. Then Snek sees lady near shadow-Snek. Lady speaks, and Master magic tells Snek what she says. "What the hell is that? Where did it come from?"

"Snek iss Snek," Snek says in words she will understand. "Ssnek came from Masster world. Bad wordss lady sshould not ssay bad wordss."

"I'm not 'bad words lady!" she shouts. "I am Murder Night, and you will die!"

Snek does not understand name 'Murder Night'. Snek understands name 'bad words lady'. It means lady who uses bad words. Bad words lady wants shadow-Snek to eat children. Bad words lady is bad person.

Shadow-Snek moves toward Snek, skull jaws open. Crocodile skull has many sharp teeth, more than Snek can count.

Snek has sharp teeth too, but Snek does not want to bite. Shadow-Snek might be friend if Snek can stop bad words lady. Snek wraps body around shadow-Snek instead. Snek is very strong.

Shadow-Snek cold to touch, like demon curse. Master has shielded Snek with magic to stop demon curse from draining life from body. Shadow-Snek is trying to drain Snek life. Snek does not want this, so he squeezes shadow-Snek with body.

"Stop that thing, Scavenger!" shouts bad words lady. "Kill it! Eat it!"

"Ssnek iss not 'thing', bad wordss lady," Snek says. "Ssnek iss Ssnek." Snek had thought this was already explained. Bad words lady is also bad listener.

Also, Scavenger is bad name for shadow-Snek. Snek does not like it.

Shadow-Snek keeps trying to drain Snek life. Master protection magic is protecting Snek, but very cold. Snek not like cold. Snek squeezes shadow-Snek harder, to force shadow-Snek to give up.

<><>​

Moord Nag

Wherever this giant talking snake had come from, it was giving Aasdier distinct problems. Nothing she had ever encountered before had stood up to her Scavenger's power, but no matter how the giant shadowy form strove against the scaled body, the snake seemed to be winning. Lou didn't like this in the slightest, but she had an ace up the sleeve she wasn't wearing.

Aasdier discorporated, then reformed next to her, this time sporting a giant eagle skull. She watched as the snake—she was never going to refer to it by that stupid name—looked around for its adversary, then fixed on her and Aasdier once more. Her lip curled as it gave her a reproachful look.

"Sshould not hurt children, bad wordss lady," the snake said chidingly.

The sheer effrontery of the thing sent a wash of anger through her. She was the one, with Aasdier's help, who had carved out her territory, and kept all rivals at bay. Telling her that she had no right to do what she wanted in her domain? "No beast gives me orders. My Aasdier will kill you eventually, and take your power."

Yet it still did not yield to her authority. "Sshadow-Ssnek iss bad wordss lady familiar? Ssnek doess not want to kill another Ssnek."

She had little idea what it was prattling about, but the naïve desire not to kill gave her some dark amusement. Killing was what the powerful did, and the weak submitted to. "You cannot kill Scavenger, you stupid creature. He is me, and I am him." It was only true. She and Aasdier were bonded together, deeper than life itself.

<><>​

Snek

Snek thinks about that. Bad words lady makes shadow-Snek. Snek knows what to do now.

If Snek puts bad words lady in no-eat place, he can take her to Master. Master will fix, like with all other bad people with powers from Mouse world. That is easy part. Hard part will be getting bad words lady into no-eat place, because shadow-Snek is between Snek and bad words lady.

<><>​

Moord Nag

In the next second, Lou wondered briefly if she hadn't overstepped, as the thing came for her, massively fanged jaws agape. It tried to duck around Aasdier, but her partner and protector reacted before she really even recognised the danger, interposing himself and knocking the monster snake aside. Opening his beak, he tried to sink it into the snake's scaled hide, but its head whipped around and its jaws closed on the outside of the beak, forcing it closed.

As a follow-up, the gargantuan reptile again entwined its powerful body around Aasdier's. It clearly hadn't learned a thing, as once again, as soon as the pressure became too great, Aasdier vanished. In that instant, the snake launched itself toward her, jaws once more agape, but Aasdier proved himself equal to the task. Sword-like razor fangs slashed into his body, but there was nothing to take away, and Aasdier simply melted from between its jaws.

It tried something new then, creating a circular portal in front of its head and the other one next to her. Again, Aasdier was up to the task, pushing her aside before the snake could get its fangs into her. With each new failed attempt, she felt her confidence growing; all Aasdier had to do was weaken it far enough, and then its power would truly be hers.

When it tried yet again to wrap its body around Aasdier's and dominate him in that way, she almost sneered dismissively, then rethought her position. The last time she'd dismissed its attempts, it had almost gotten to her. Responding to her thoughts, Aasdier twisted around to bit it, forcing it to use its jaws to protect itself, and thus ensuring that it couldn't reach for her instead.

That was when the stunning impact came from behind. She found herself ragdolling through the air with no idea what had happened. Aasdier discorporated to protect her, then a portal opened right in front of her.

On the other side … was teeth.

<><>​

Snek

Then Snek has idea. Snek puts wriggle-hole next to tail, puts tail through. Tail comes out behind bad words lady, smacks her. Bad words lady is coming straight toward Snek's head. Shadow-Snek goes to smoke, but Snek opens another wriggle-hole, puts head through, and catches bad words lady. Shadow-Snek forms next to Snek, big-tooth lizard skull open, ready to bite Snek's neck.

Snek puts bad words lady in no-eat place. Shadow-Snek goes away, does not come back.

Snek is very happy. Master will be pleased. Bad words lady has what Master will call 'interesting' power.

Playing with shadow-Snek was fun!

<><>

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GStringGirl
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Are you okay?

Hi. Sorry to bother you, but you haven't been on for a while and I just wanted to make sure everything was alright with you.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: GStringGirl

Hi, Greg. Apologies for butting in on your PMs, but GSG is no longer online. (I'm a friend of hers). She was in a bad situation where she was (sorry, can't give more details because privacy and stuff), but she's a whole lot happier where she is now. Here's a [pic].

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: GStringGirl

Uh, thanks for letting me know. That's a pretty wild picture. She looks happy. Is that a sailboat in the background? And is that really a hearth-dragon on her shoulder? I thought only New Wave had those? Who else is getting one?

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Yes, that's a sailboat. A fishing boat, to be exact. And yes, she does have a hearth-dragon. As for only New Wave having hearth-dragons, that's not exactly true. I've got two looking over my shoulder right now. I'm expecting them to start using the computer to look up funny cat videos any day now, if the boss lets them.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

You've got TWO hearth-dragons bonded to you? How did you manage that? Did you visit Snek's world?

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

No, I'm not bonded to either one of them. You can only bond to one hearth-dragon ever. But there's a few that hang around here. They're good company, even if they do play pranks on me and each other whenever they feel like it.

Yeah, I did visit Snek's world. It's a nice place.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Can I ask where you are that hearth-dragons just hang around? Or is it a secret?

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Not really. I already told you where I was.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

No you didn't. You just said that you visited Snek's world.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Oh.

I get it.

Is that where GSG is too?

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Bingo (on both counts).

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Oh, wow.

Um, is there any chance I could maybe visit? I missed the last New Wave meet & greet with their hearth-dragons, and everyone who went is all over the internet talking about how cute they are, and showing off selfies, including the ones by Snap.

Also, maybe visit GSG if she's okay with that. Just to, you know, say hi and see how she's going.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

We shall see. No promises.

■​

End of Part Thirty-One

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-Two: Snek Shenanigans

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]



The Wizard's Apprentice

Riley was watching the boss deal with a minor incursion a century or so over along the tau axis, disguising the annihilation of the extradimensional intruders by making it look as though they'd been killed off by way of local disease vectors, when something got his attention. Raising his head slightly, he turned to her. "Kindly institute level two precautions at once. I should be finished here in short order, but Snek will be arriving before that happens, and he brings with him another one of the more intriguing parasites: one that could disarrange the equipment in this area if it is allowed to do so."

"On it, boss." Riley still wasn't up to casting even the simplest spells on her own, but she'd been instructed in how to activate the magically-infused equipment. This included the containment jars for the power-granting parasites from Bet, the teleporting doorways, all the kitchenware, and the protection wards for the work-room.

Trotting over toward where the bronze plaque was set into the wall, she laid her hand on it and concentrated on a phrase in one of the several languages she was currently learning. The plaque began to glow, and she felt the receptive query of the spell within. In response, she focused on the concept of the level-two wards until the glow of the plaque altered.

As she took her hand away from the plaque, she felt rather than saw the wards begin to engage, fields of near-impervious (and nigh-invisible) force fading into existence. One by one, each piece of apparatus and each shelf was thus protected, taking on a subtle golden sheen. Even her goggles glowed briefly, then generated a protective field around her.

Just about the time the last field powered into action, three familiar knocks sounded from the main door of the work-room. "Enter, Snek," the boss called out without looking up from his task. "A containment sphere has been arranged for your guest. Kindly place her within. I shall be with you in a moment."

The door opened, and Snek slithered into the work-room. "Thank you, Masster," he said politely. "Bad wordss lady hass a sshadow-Ssnek. May Ssnek have it?"

"A shadow-Snek?" Riley took a couple of steps closer. "Okay, this I gotta see."

"Ssnek will assk if bad wordss lady will let it come out and play." The giant snake's jaws gaped wide, his multi-branching tongue reaching back into the interdimensional space that had been incorporated into his throat. Wriggling closer to the shimmering sphere, he pulled a woman into view.

She was suffering from the usual level of stunned shock that afflicted people who had been involuntarily stuffed into Snek's 'not-eat place', but even as he shoved her into the containment sphere, her power activated anyway. Riley recognised her as Moord Nag almost immediately; not many people had access to a giant shadowy snake sporting a horse skull (or any other kind of skull) for a head. Jack had once expressed disappointment that the African warlord was an ocean away, rather than being where he could recruit her to the Nine.

Much more of interest was the fact that while she was inside the sphere, the shadowy snake—the shadow-Snek—was outside it. Rampaging outside, to be more specific. Slamming into the walls, the shelves and the heretofore delicate apparatus, it seemed to be getting more and more frustrated when nothing it did had any effect.

Finally, it charged at Riley herself with jaws wide open. She stood firm, grabbing a chair to brace herself and letting it clamp its teeth down on her arm. The golden sheen stopped it dead; all she felt was a mild pressure and tugging as it attempted to drag her off her feet and gnaw on her arm.

"Bad sshadow-Ssnek! Sshadow-Ssnek sshould not hurt Riley!" Snek left Moord Nag to her own devices within the containment sphere and launched himself at the shadowy projection. His fangs latched onto the 'neck' of the shadowy creature, and his body flexed as he hauled the thing off Riley. It tried to hold on, but horse teeth do not have a great deal of traction, and she wasn't going anywhere she didn't want to. Bereft of her arm, the teeth clashed together, then it writhed and lashed out (to no avail whatsoever) as Snek dragged it backwards.

Apparently seeking to hurt someone, its tail whipped around toward where the Master of the Castle was finalising his work in ending the invasion that was going on elsewhere and elsewhen. Riley opened her mouth to shout a warning, but the creature's appendage got there first. It struck … and a good third of the length of the creature evaporated in a puff of shadow.

"And that will be enough of that." The boss closed down the scrying globe he'd been using, looked over at where the shadow-Snek had recoiled from the impact, and gestured briefly. A second containment sphere formed, sucking the projection into it. Snek opened his jaws right on cue, releasing it. Moments later, it was as trapped as its mistress.

"That was actually fairly impressive," Riley admitted. "Though back on Bet, the Aasdier—the Scavenger—projection could suck out life force and power up that way."

"Ssnek felt sshadow-Ssnek trying to do that." Snek peered at the containment spheres. "Masster magic too sstrong."

"Though their progenitors lack imagination, the parasites themselves are impressively creative." The boss took up his staff; it flared briefly, and the golden sheen faded away as the wards were dispelled. "This one may warrant further study."

The giant snake raised his head and spoke diffidently. "Ssnek wonderss if Masster could let Ssnek play with sshadow-Ssnek, not put in little jar."

"Really?" One shaggy eyebrow rose.

"Yess, Masster. Ssnek likess playing with sshadow-Ssnek. Iss fun."

"Hm." The boss stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Well, then. I cannot promise anything, Snek, but I shall see what I can do."

"Thank you, Masster."

This, Riley decided, was definitely going to be interesting.

<><>​

Shoreham Fishing Village

The Next Morning

It's going to be a good day out on the water, Sveta decided as she stepped out her front door. There were a few clouds around, illuminated by the yet-to-rise sun, but none of the high wispy ones that presaged a storm. Raising her arm without looking, she braced herself for the weight of Esmerelda as the hearth-dragon came in for a neat landing on her forearm.

"There you are," she said fondly as she gathered her dearest companion into a cuddle. "You were out all night with Ranger, you naughty girl. I hope you enjoyed yourself."

Esmerelda chirped happily as she rubbed her head alongside Sveta's jawline. While hearth-dragons were nonverbal, the impression Sveta got was along the gist of 'why yes, I enjoyed myself very much indeed, thank you'. From the smug look Esmerelda had about her (for some reason, they were past masters at doing 'smug') the two hearth-dragons had definitely made the most of their time together.

"Good, good." Sveta gave Esmerelda a skritch behind her wings, causing the little dragon to arch her back and rumble with pleasure. "We're going to be out on the boat all day. I hope you're able to handle that."

In response, Esmerelda let her head loll back and began emitting lifelike snores, her tongue hanging artistically out the side of her mouth. Sveta could only laugh and shake her head. The more time they spent together, the more they connected on every emotional and mental level it was possible to connect on.

"Good morning!" The voice was bright and energetic. Sveta and Esmerelda both looked around; Paige had just emerged from the side door of the tavern, looking unreasonably fresh for someone who had been playing and singing until the wee hours of the morning. The tavern only boasted half a dozen rooms, but neither the Travellers nor Gretz had complained. Their gold spent well and they were polite and friendly to all, which made them doubly welcome.

Overall, it had been a very pleasant evening, one that many of the fisherfolk would be talking about for months or years to come. Given that the Travellers had come to Shoreham specifically to see Sveta, this was another point in her favour as being lucky, thus raising her standing even further among the villagers. And if anyone took it amiss that she'd spent some time talking to them and sharing various experiences from back on Bet, nobody was saying a word about it.

"Good morning to you as well," she responded, and went over to give Paige a hug. Esmerelda moved up onto her shoulder in the process, and Paige gave the hearth-dragon a caress as well. "I take it you'll be moving along today?"

"That's the plan, yes." Paige responded to Esmerelda's querying chirp by holding out her hands and catching her as the hearth-dragon jumped into them. "Noelle's heard of some prime bounties farther south, so she wants to find out more before we jump in on them."

Sveta smiled as she watched Esmerelda snuggling into Paige's arms. "That's probably a good idea. It would be all too easy to assume you're tough enough to take on any comers, and get your butt handed to you."

Paige chuckled, her fingers gently smoothing out Esmerelda's wings in a way that told Sveta she was familiar with what they liked. "From what the others have told me, they've got plenty of experience with that sort of thing. Francis was the leader for the longest time while Noelle was suffering from what her powers did to her, and by all accounts—including his own—he sucked at it."

"I'm guessing she's better at it." Sveta nodded to Elmora, who had emerged from the tavern in Paige's wake. "Morning. Did you have a good time last night?"

"Surely did." Elmora stretched, working her neck and shoulders and back to elicit a series of cracking and popping noises. "Your people know how to party when they want to."

Paige snorted. "From the amount you were drinking, I'm surprised you aren't asleep under a table somewhere."

"Oh, hon." Elmora grinned crookedly, pinching Paige's cheek. "I used to drink like this on a weekly basis. Just because I'm not super durable anymore doesn't mean I can't hold my booze."

"Well, you can definitely do that," agreed Sveta. She gestured at the dock, where the boats were tied up. "As soon as everyone's up, we're going to ready the boats and sail on the ebb tide."

"You're really into the whole fishing life, aren't you?" Paige opened her hands and Esmerelda spread her wings, leaping and gliding back to Sveta. Elmora stepped up behind Paige and put her arms around the musician, resting her chin on top of Paige's head. Paige laced her fingers through Elmora's, leaning back into the archer's embrace.

"I am." Sveta gathered the hearth-dragon to her. "I spent so much time looking at the world through a keyhole with only fragmentary dreams for company. When the Master of the Castle pulled back the veil and reversed what had been done to me, I remembered my previous life. This isn't identical, but it's close enough that I don't care. And every day, I can look at the sky and breathe free air."

Elmora snorted with amusement. "And I guess it doesn't hurt that you're basically their walking, talking good luck charm."

"I didn't ask to be." Trying not to feel defensive, Sveta stroked the side of Esmerelda's neck, and got a soothing croon in response. "I bonded with her fair and square."

"Chill, chill." Elmora chuckled. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. Whatever you've got, you've earned. No, I was just gonna mention that when Esmerelda has her kids, there's gonna be hearth-dragons all over the village, and people are gonna love you more than ever."

"… kids?" Paige's eyes opened wide. "Wait, Esmerelda's pregnant?"

Elmora rubbed her cheek alongside Paige's. "Don't ever change, sweetheart. If she ain't up the duff after her and Ranger did the nasty all night, there's either something wrong with her or something wrong with him. And knowing the Master of the Castle, you think he'd let something like that fly, pun totally intended?"

Sveta tilted her head. "… no, I can't see it. Huh. I knew she was getting it on with Ranger, but I figured it was their business. Didn't think about kids."

"What do you think they'll be, anyway?" asked Paige. "Ocean like Esmerelda, or Forest like Ranger?"

"Little bit of column A, little bit of column B?" suggested Elmora.

Sveta shook her head. "I actually talked to Riley about this, after I started bonding with Esmerelda. What offspring a hearth-dragon has is partly determined by genetics and partly by magic. So it's twenty-five percent chance of the father's strain, twenty-five per cent of the mother's strain, and fifty per cent chance that it's any one of the other strains. Some strains show up more rarely than others, but it's impossible to breed any of them out, because the potential exists in all of them. Or at least, that's how she explained it."

"And given that she used to be Bonesaw," Paige said thoughtfully, "I wouldn't argue about anything like that with her."

Elmora rolled her eyes. "Because of course there's magic involved in their breeding cycle. Why the hell should that be left out of things?"

Sveta grinned. "It certainly keeps life interesting around here, doesn't it?"

"It does," agreed Paige. "So, how's it feel, now that you're going to be a grandma?"

Sveta considered that for a moment. "Different," she said eventually. "One day I might even be one for real. But this'll do for the moment." There was a hail from down by the docks and she looked over to see Bron and Karol waving to her. "Whoops, duty calls."

"Duty, hah." Elmora grinned at her. "You love it, and you know it."

"True." She let Esmerelda take flight, then gave Paige another quick hug that included Elmora as well. "Take care. Tell the others I said thanks for visiting, and I truly enjoyed meeting you all. And come back sometime, please."

"We'll tell them," Paige promised, returning the hug. "Take care yourself."

"I promise." Sveta turned and headed down the slope toward where the boat, and her crewmates, waited. Esmerelda glided overhead, arrowing in on one particular set of rigging.

It had been nice to meet other people from Bet and catch up, but already she was putting the visit to the back of her mind. As she'd said earlier, this was her life now, and she was good at it.

"Good morn to you," Karol greeted her as she stepped on board; Esmerelda was already perched on the tiller. "See your friends off well enough?"

"Well enough," she agreed. "They'll be gone by the time we're back. It was nice meeting them, though."

As the boat moved away from the dock, urged by Karol's oar, Bron stepped on board with the stern line in his hands. "It was all of that," he said. "And the coin they spent will go a long way, too."

"It will, brother. It will."

Then the sails began to fill and the boat gained way, and no more mention was made of the Travellers.

<><>​

Panacea

"Hey, Ames, you have to see this!"

As Vicky darted into the living room, her feet inches above the floor, Amy looked up from the book she was reading. Twilight, who had been dozing while draped along the back of the sofa, raised her head as well with an interrogatory chirp. "What?"

Vicky grinned and held out her phone. "Director Piggot's been doing her research on the hearth-dragons. Check it out."

That actually sounded more than a little ominous, but Vicky's upbeat expression gave her hope it wouldn't be that bad. "So what is it, exactly?"

"She put out a general order. Required reading for everyone, including Protectorate and affiliated capes. That's us. You've probably got one on your phone too."

"Gimme a second." Amy pulled out her own phone and accessed her emails. Sure enough, the one at the top had a PRT header. She hesitated, then tapped it. The email unfolded into an official-looking communication. With Twilight looking over her shoulder, she began to read.

PARAHUMAN RESPONSE TEAMS GENERAL ORDER

EAST-NORTH-EAST DEPARTMENT

DATE: 06/12/11

CLEARANCE: OPEN

REQUIRED READING: ALL PERSONNEL

SUBJECT: HEARTH-DRAGONS

It has come to the attention of the office of the Director that there are no fewer than three of the scientifically anomalous creatures termed 'hearth-dragons' within the city, in the company of New Wave. These creatures have an established connection to the creature known as 'Snek' (see relevant file): the best analysis available to this office indicates that they originate from the same world.

Given a) this connection, and b) that all three hearth-dragons are closely associated with New Wave capes, and c) they have appeared in public alongside said heroes, the following orders are in place for all PRT personnel, Protectorate personnel, and affiliated capes and contractors.

• Hearth-dragons are to be treated as friendly, intelligent allies whenever encountered.
• If you encounter a hearth-dragon that appears to be in distress, make every effort to determine why, and to remedy the situation. Contact their human affiliates as soon as possible.
• While hearth-dragons are nonverbal, they are highly empathetic and appear to have a working comprehension of the English language. Even if they don't understand what you say, keep in mind that they will understand what you mean.

It is not beyond the realms of probability that more hearth-dragons will end up on Earth Bet. Unless otherwise specified, the above orders will also apply to those.

Signed,

Director Emily Piggot

PRT ENE

Click to shrink...

Amy skimmed it to get the gist, then carefully read it all the way through to make sure she hadn't missed anything important. Finally, she looked up at Vicky. "Wow. I'm actually impressed."

"I know, right?" Vicky reached over and scratched the back of Twilight's neck, eliciting a croon of enjoyment. "It's like they suddenly had an attack of common sense."

Amy cradled her arms just as Twilight chose to slide down off the back of the sofa into her embrace. "I think you'll find it's a lot simpler than that. Look at point A. They come from Snek's world, and the PRT really doesn't want to upset the big goofy snake who's already eaten two Endbringers, plus a whole bunch of other assholes. I mean, would you risk pissing him off?"

"Not on my best day," Vicky declared with finality. "I'm good, but nobody's that good."

"Thus proving that you're smarter than the Simurgh." Amy smirked as Twilight chirped in agreement, and held the little dragon close to her. "That's right, sweetie. So are you."

<><>​

The Wizard's Apprentice

There were two objects on the table next to where the boss was working on Moord Nag. One was a collection jar, essentially the same as the others containing the boss' growing collection of wispy essences of parasite, while the other looked like an ordinary feather: about four inches long, blue fading to green at the tip, but otherwise unremarkable. Riley knew what the jar was for, but the feather was a mystery to her.

Using the delicate tongs, the boss unwound a delicate strand of nothingness from the warlord's head and deposited it in the jar; knowing her cue, Riley dropped the heavy stopper into place. The magic engaged, sealing the container and making it impervious to anyone but an authorised person who knew the correct opening phrase. Trapped within, the newly extracted parasite coiled back and forth like a living wisp of smoke, seeking an exit that it would never attain.

But the boss wasn't done yet. He muttered a phrase, causing a hemisphere of crackling energy to spring up over the feather, then turned back to Moord Nag. Again, the tongs slid close to her head, then pulled away more of the parasite-stuff.

"Uh, boss …" she ventured. "Didn't you already get her power?"

"I have extracted and separated the problematic aspects of her parasite," he replied urbanely. "That is what goes on the shelf. What I have here is the rest of it." As he spoke, the end of the tongs slid into the hemispherical energy field over the feather. When he released the grip and pulled them out again, the wisp of energy remained within the field, which then began to shrink down around the feather.

Riley watched with fascination as the hemispherical field reduced in size, before finally sinking into the feather and vanishing. "So, what did you do to that, and why a feather?" she asked.

He smiled enigmatically. "Snek, your hat, if you will?"

"Yess, Masster." Snek's versatile tongue reached up to the top of his head and removed the hat that had once belonged to Contessa (and hadn't Riley laughed her head off when she found out about that).

"Thank you, Snek." Taking up the feather, the boss accepted the hat and carefully tucked it into the hatband. The barest flash of magic told Riley that the feather had been given the same protective enchantments as the hat itself. "You may put it back on now."

"Thank you, Masster." Snek took the hat back and put it in the middle of his broad head. "Iss nicce feather."

"It is more than that." The boss nodded toward Snek. "Call your playmate. You will find it to be friendly and no longer a danger to others."

A hopeful look came over the giant snake's features. "Ssnek would like to play with sshadow-Ssnek now."

If Riley hadn't been watching carefully, she would've missed it. The feather glowed briefly, then shadow-stuff poured out of it and formed into the same creature that Snek had fought earlier, complete with a giant wolf skull for a head. It was over in an instant, and Snek's features broke out in a broad smile.

"Whoa, dang." Riley shook her head. "You put the shadow snake in the feather?"

"A minor enchantment, and a proof of concept." The boss gestured in an off-hand manner. "You may go and play, Snek."

"Thank you, Masster." Snek wriggled to the door and opened it; the shadow snake followed him out. It closed behind them.

Riley took up the specimen jar and carried it over toward the shelves, still mulling over what she'd just seen. She'd been right.

That had been damn interesting.



End of Part Thirty-Two

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-Three: Hat Trick

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]


PRT ENE Building
June 13, 2011

Director Emily Piggot

Emily sat at her desk, going through electronic paperwork, a cup of coffee at her elbow. The volume was about the same as it always had been, but the content was decidedly less problematic. There were far fewer incidents that made her want to swear, much less bang her head on the desk.

These days, about the most she needed to do was facepalm mildly, or rub the stress wrinkle that had developed between her eyebrows about three months into the job. Even those events were becoming more and more rare, mostly to do with one Ward or another (usually Clockblocker, but not always) saying something on the record that could really have done with the input of Image before it got aired to the general public. The rest of it was usually to do with Snek pulling off some improbable stunt or other, in his own extremely inimitable way.

So long as the snake kept returning to Brockton Bay, the joint role of the PRT and Protectorate in the city was becoming less and less relevant. As a result, most of the capes in the Protectorate and Wards were due to transfer out to other departments come the first of July, along with the bulk of the troopers, and the building would be relegated to being more of an administrative location. At the same time, Emily would be making her final decision whether to transfer somewhere in an advisory capacity—ten years of running the PRT in her own personal hell-hole had left her with some extremely expensive life lessons—or just retire and claim her pension.

In the meantime, she was absolutely going to do her job to the very best of her ability, no matter how much weird shit cropped up in her city. These days, this tended to be less cape-related and more Snek-adjacent, though sometimes the two overlapped, such as the Yackety Sax Empire incident. That one had actually managed to startle a chuckle out of her.

Three thumps sounded from inside her personal en-suite. Quite apart from the fact that nobody should be in there, that sounded quite familiar. "Snek?" she called out, her hand finding the duress alarm and readying to yank it back if she didn't get the required response. "Is that you?"

"Yess, blue ssuit lady." Yes, that was definitely him. Given the nicknames he had bestowed upon certain members of the Protectorate and Wards ('pointy metal stick man' and 'cat head boy' not only came to mind, but outright grabbed at the attention), she figured she'd gotten off lightly. "May Ssnek come in?"

"Certainly. Come on in." As she clicked the duress alarm to the first catch, she didn't even find it strange that he'd shown up while she was thinking about him. 'What the hell has Snek done recently' was an extremely active topic on the PHO boards, including a recent confrontation with Circus.

The androgynous villain had produced one item or weapon after another from some weird personal pocket dimension, while Snek disarmed them just as rapidly with what appeared to be his tongue, stowing the objects somewhere out of sight, up to and including cartoonish bombs with lit fuses. Nothing had fazed him, and Circus had eventually run out of gear and attempted to flee after Snek appeared to eat their oversized hammer.

Circus, to nobody's surprise, was now residing in a cell, looking extremely grumpy.

"Thank you, blue ssuit lady." The door opened, and the first ten feet of Snek slithered into her office proper. Emily knew now that he utilised teleport portals to go where he needed to, so no doubt there would be one back in the en-suite. It certainly explained the way he'd emerged from a room far too small to contain him by any stretch of the imagination.

He was wearing his trademark fedora, which now sported a blue-green feather. More unusually, perched on his broad snout was a hearth-dragon: the first she'd seen personally. She'd viewed the available photos and footage of the latest additions to New Wave, but the electronic media utterly failed to do justice to the little creatures. About eighteen inches tall and a rich sky-blue from nose to tail, it looked around her office with bright, inquisitive eyes and let out a high-pitched chirp that sounded for all the world like it was greeting her.

Which it probably was, given what she'd heard about them. And there was one other thing: she was not the type to coo over a basket of puppies or kittens, but something about it called to her. Perhaps it was the fact that there was nothing soft or ineffectual in its form; its teeth were sharp, or there was a distinct intelligence behind its eyes.

"Ah … hello," she said carefully. She knew building security would be watching and listening, but doing nothing other than that. "It's good to see you again, Snek. And this is …?"

"Ssnek iss pleassed to ssee blue ssuit lady again, too. Ssnek hass ssaid to Masster that blue ssuit lady iss unhappy and needss help. Masster hass ssaid Ssnek can take hearth-dragon to blue ssuit lady. Here Ssnek iss."

"Wait." Emily blinked. "You brought it here … for me?" The notion utterly disarmed her. Little to no detail had been given about how three members of New Wave had acquired their draconic companions, and she'd had the vague notion that they'd assisted in defeating some great evil while in Snek's world and been awarded the company of the creatures as a thank-you.

But now Snek was in her office, basically saying, 'here, you can have one too'.

Spreading its wings, the hearth-dragon hopped into the air and flew the short distance to her desk. It landed gracefully, furled its wings, and looked at her with an interrogatory chirp. The sound was neither impatient nor coaxing; more along the lines of 'well, are we going to give this a try?'. She stared at it, unable to decide what to do.

"Um," she said at last. "What if … what if we're not compatible?" The absolute last thing she wanted was for it to be heartbroken over a promised human not being interested in having it around. She'd never had a pet before. But then again, these things were far more than mere pets.

"If blue ssuit lady doess not want hearth-dragon, Ssnek will take back to Masster. Other humanss there." Snek managed to convey the impression of 'no pressure' without ever using the words. "Wanted to meet blue ssuit lady firsst."

"Oh." Emily paused. "So, uh, was that the only reason you came here?"

"Blue ssuit lady iss very ssmart," Snek said admiringly. "Ssnek wantss to find and eat sspiccy rock monsster Be-he-moth. Where can Ssnek find, pleasse?"

Emily blinked. "Ah, as I understand things, he's generally down near the earth's core, sorry. Three or four thousand miles down."

Snek smiled. "Thank you, blue ssuit lady. Ssnek will go find." He paused. "If blue ssuit lady needss Ssnek help, call for Ssnek. Ssnek will come." Then he wriggled backward into the en-suite and closed the door behind him.

"Well, that happened." There was a metric ton to be analysed and unpacked from that short conversation, but right at that moment Emily had another matter to deal with. She looked at the hearth-dragon again. "So, what's your name?"

It dropped to all fours and trotted across the desk to her, carefully avoiding a stack of papers. Once it was alongside her laptop, it sat up on its haunches and gave her an inquiring chirp. The noise had no words in it, but somehow she understood two things: first, 'it' was a 'she'; and second, it was Emily's job to choose a name for her.

"Well, now," she said, taking the time to look the little dragon over properly. "You are very pretty, aren't you?" She wasn't even saying it to be nice; the creature fitted every definition of 'cute' she'd ever seen, while the sharp, dark, intelligent eyes followed her every move. The dragon chirped agreeably, evidently understanding and approving of her assessment.

There were approximately two dozen reasons why she shouldn't be initiating unprotected contact with an unverified, un-decontaminated organism from an entire other version of Earth, but none of them seemed to matter right then. Reaching up, she cautiously stroked her hand over the little dragon's head. It—she—crooned softly, pressing into the contact with evident enjoyment.

The scales were smooth to the touch, and quite warm. Despite the lizard-like appearance, hearth-dragons were apparently endotherms (which made them closer to the current ideas about dinosaurs) and they were definitely affectionate (which didn't). Also, the sky-blue colour wasn't uniform in nature; each scale was textured and shaded in a way that would make the most talented movie CGI artists weep with envy.

All that aside, whether she wanted the company of a hearth-dragon or not, she got the impression that this was very much a once in a lifetime offer, and she very much did not wish to offend Snek or his enigmatic Master by simply rejecting it out of hand, or by mistreating the hearth-dragon while she was in Emily's care.

"So," she mused. "Two very important questions. What shall I call you, and what do you eat?"

At the word 'eat', the hearth-dragon perked up and essayed a hopeful chirp. Despite the fact that she was evidently well-fed and healthy, she turned on the puppy-dog eyes to a degree that Emily had rarely seen even in actual puppies. Emily had to chuckle as she stroked the dragon's head and neck again.

"One second," she said. "I do not want to poison you." She took up her phone—still stroking the dragon with her other hand; it was a strangely soothing activity—and hit speed-dial for a particular number.

The phone was answered after one ring. "Brandish here, Director. What's the situation?"

Emily cleared her throat. "This is going to sound very strange, but … what do hearth-dragons eat?"

"You're correct. It does sound very strange. Why are you asking? Because I can't see you calling me up out of idle curiosity."

"No, true." Emily grimaced. She hadn't wanted this information to get out until she knew where she was going with matters. "Snek just showed up and left a hearth-dragon with me. So, um, what do they eat?" The entire 'unhappy and needss help' thing could be left to one side unless she was really pressed about it. That was nobody's business but hers (and apparently the hearth-dragon's).

She heard the smile blooming on Brandish's face, clear across the phone line. "Oh, that's wonderful! We're going to have to bring ours around, so they can get to know each other. What's its name?"

"I hadn't given her a name yet," Emily hedged. "About her diet?"

"Oh, Amy assures me that their digestive systems are incredibly efficient. They'll eat anything we can, and a few other things beside. Can you send me a photo? The others will be thrilled."

"Hold on." Emily looked at the hearth-dragon. "I just need to take a picture of you. Do you understand?"

The little dragon understood alright; as Emily aimed the camera, she preened, half-unfurling one wing to show off the delicate structure. There was one more word to be added to their description, Emily decided as she took not one, but four different images: vain. They loved to be admired.

"Photos coming through. Thank you for that, Brandish. We'll talk again soon."

"No problem, and thank you. Have fun." The call ended.

Emily pondered the call as she opened the drawer where she kept a stash of protein bars for when the exigencies of work precluded leaving her desk for a meal in the commissary. Those days were getting fewer all the time, which meant she had a good supply at the moment.

As for the phone call with Brandish, that had been decidedly strange when measured against her previous experience with the woman. Lawyer and superhero by turns, Brandish was always businesslike and on point; and so she had been, right up until the hearth-dragon was mentioned. After that, she'd pivoted seamlessly to being thrilled about the situation.

Emily recalled the conversation she'd had with Psyche about the potential impact of hearth-dragons on the world. If someone as humourless as Brandish could be persuaded to show their human side via a little dragon companionship, then there was definitely more to hearth-dragons than met the eye. So far, everything she'd been told about their empathy and emotional impact seemed to be accurate, but she was not yet convinced that she personally needed one.

"Here you go," she said, proffering a protein bar. "Would you like me to open it for you?"

Chirping a negative—it was amazing how fast her ear had learned to distinguish minor tonal shifts—the hearth-dragon politely accepted it, removed the wrapper neatly, and devoured the bar within, showing every sign of enjoyment.

"Well, I'm glad you liked that." Emily was fully aware that the security team was still observing her, but she didn't much care. "So, as for your name. You're blue and you have hidden depths, so I believe I will call you Sapphire. Do you like that?"

The newly named Sapphire chirped happily and rubbed her head up and down along Emily's arm. As Emily scratched the hearth-dragon between the wings—Sapphire arched her back into it, showing unmistakable enjoyment—she decided to take that as a yes.

"Well, I've got to get back to work," she said. Picking up the discarded wrapper, she crumpled it and dropped it into the trashcan beside the desk. "But you're welcome to make yourself comfortable. Let me know if you need anything else."

Sapphire promptly found an unoccupied section of desk and curled up on it like a cat, chin propped on her tail, with one beady eye still watching Emily. Purring didn't seem to be in the hearth-dragon wheelhouse, but when Emily reached out and stroked her, Sapphire let out a gentle rumble of appreciation.

"Did you get all that?" she asked out loud.

"Yes, ma'am." It was Rodriguez, in the security station. Sapphire cocked her head slightly, but didn't sit up. "Snek stopped in to give you a hearth-dragon, told you he was going to eat Behemoth, and asked for directions. Also, hearth-dragons like protein bars."

Emily had to give him props for being able to say all that without stuttering or laughing out loud. "Correct. Please send the footage to the techs for analysis, and contact Dragon regarding the placement of Behemoth. If we can help vector Snek onto him, do it. Also, make sure whoever comes in here to reset my duress alarm knows about the hearth-dragon."

"Roger that, ma'am."

Emily stroked Sapphire again—it was amazing how calming the act was—then returned her focus to her work. Even in a world where giant snakes casually swung by to drop off a passenger on their way to chow down on a city-ending terror, paperwork was a constant.

After a few moments, she took the time to open a chat window and compose a message.

<><>

■

​

PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: GoodGirlRiley
From: Director_Piggot_PRT_ENE
Subject: Care and feeding of hearth-dragons

Good morning (or afternoon, or evening).

As you may know, Snek has delivered a hearth-dragon to me from your employer.
So far, we are getting along quite well, and Brandish has explained to me that they can eat essentially anything humans can eat.
However, I would appreciate it if you could give me any other information about them that I need to know about.

Thank you,
Director Emily Piggot, PRT ENE

■


<><>​

Snek

Snek comes out of wriggle-hole into broken place. Is city that is not city anymore. Buildings all in piles. Tickle of what Master calls ra-di-a-tion. Will not hurt Snek, but will hurt people. No people here anymore, which is good. Snek does not like when people get hurt.

Blue suit lady has told Snek where spicy rock monster Be-he-moth is, so now Snek can find him. Snek sniffs around city-not-city until he smells strongest scent of spicy rock monster Be-he-moth. Is where he dug into ground again. Spicy rock monster Be-he-moth is hiding deep, but Snek can taste him in rock.

Snek begins to dig down. Would be faster to use wriggle-hole, but Snek cannot make wriggle-hole into rock, so digs. Snek is very strong, can dig really fast.

Scent is getting stronger as Snek digs deeper. Rock stops being hard and starts being soft. Is easier to swim through rock than dig. Snek is happy.

But when Snek gets closer to spicy rock monster Be-he-moth, he swims away. Snek tries to catch spicy rock monster Be-he-moth, but is not fast enough. Scent is still strong, but Snek cannot catch him.

Snek chases spicy rock monster Be-he-moth, hoping he will get tired before Snek does. Spicy rock monster Be-he-moth does not get tired.

Snek is not smart as Master or blue suit lady, but Snek knows hunting and chasing. Is easier to catch prey when they are running toward Snek, not away. Snek swims upward through swimmy rock and hard rock to air.

Snek calls for shadow-Snek, and shadow-Snek comes out of feather in hat. Is good feather. Master is very wise and powerful. Shadow-Snek has skull of lion this time. Is good skull. Very frightening.

Snek can dig through rock, but spicy rock monster Be-he-moth can dig faster. Shadow-Snek is shadow, and does not need to dig. Shadow-Snek goes into ground, chasing spicy rock monster Be-he-moth. Snek follows over ground as shadow-Snek finds scent.

Spicy rock monster Be-he-moth swims away from shadow-Snek. Shadow-Snek chases, gets under spicy rock monster Be-he-moth. Snek waits as spicy rock monster Be-he-moth swims and digs upward.

Ground rumbles under Snek, then spicy rock monster Be-he-moth digs out of ground. "Hello," says Snek.

Spicy rock monster Be-he-moth tries to leap away from Snek, but Snek is faster. Snek bites spicy rock monster Be-he-moth on leg. Is very spicy.

Snek likes spicy food.

<><>

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: Director_Piggot_PRT_ENE
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Care and feeding of hearth-dragons

Hi Director,

What you've got there is a sky-dragon. Her wings are optimised for flying high and gliding long distances, and her eyesight is really good. She'll want to go for a good long flight on the regular, but she'll understand if you can't manage it every day.
They're really good at being understanding overall, just saying.
Also, they'll definitely eat anything, but they love bacon and toast. They won't actually steal the food from your plate, but they're really good at begging. (Don't worry about overfeeding; it's hard for them to get overweight.)
Don't worry about diseases; there's nothing we've got that they can catch, and vice versa.
In case you were wondering, the boss picked her out from a bunch of volunteers.
If you bond with her (trust me, you'll know if you're bonded) she'll be sharing some capabilities with you. Specifically, you'll be able to fall any distance without getting hurt, and your distance vision will become downright phenomenal.
Anyway, if you've got more questions, feel free to ask.

Riley

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<><>​

Dragon

Even without the heads-up from the PRT ENE, Dragon would've known something was up from the way seismographs all over the world were registering ongoing disturbances from deep in the earth. They were only minuscule, but they were consistent and painted a very interesting picture. Behemoth was on the move, faster than he'd ever moved before, and he wasn't the only one.

There was something following him, chasing him. Even if she hadn't known it was Snek, she would've figured out that he was fleeing pursuit eventually. The pattern of movement was unmistakeable.

As it was, the enigmatic, personable monster from another world had revealed another aspect of his insanely powerful makeup. Not one cape in ten thousand had the capability to get down to the Earth's core, and none of them could go toe to toe with the monster once they got there. The fact that Behemoth was running from him merely demonstrated that the three Endbringers had been able to communicate with each other somehow, and that either Leviathan or the Simurgh had gotten off a warning before they were destroyed.

On the downside, while Snek could get down to that level, he wasn't actually able to catch up with the fleeing Endbringer. There wasn't any place that Behemoth could actually hide, but the interior of the Earth was a huge place, and he could draw out the pursuit more or less forever. All he had to do was keep running.

The problem was, while it was entertaining to watch an Endbringer fleeing for its very life, this wasn't actually getting the job done. Snek apparently realised this, because he broke off pursuit after several laps of the outer core and one of the mantle. Digging up to the surface, he broke off pursuit … or did he?

Dragon wasn't sure about what happened next, because just a little later, Behemoth started moving again, in the same pattern of fleeing as before. Only this time, Snek was following along from above, even as Behemoth neared the surface. Impelled by something down beneath him, Behemoth breached into open air, not a hundred yards from where Snek lay in wait.

Right behind him was … another Snek. Except it wasn't. The other Snek had the same basic proportions, but its body was shadowy and its head was the skull of a lion.

Dragon had seen this before, and a split-second check of the databanks confirmed it. Aasdier! That's Aasdier! How in God's name did Snek steal Moord Nag's pet monster?

She suspected she'd never learn the full truth of it, but it really didn't matter then, because Snek had just bitten Behemoth in the leg, as the monster attempted to flee once more. Dragon had a suit incoming, but it was still a distance away from Death Valley, where Snek's shadowy companion had forced Behemoth to the surface. For the moment, she was going to have to depend on any satellites she could vector over that location.

The lion skull also sank its fangs into Behemoth, while Snek whipped his body around to wrap up the Endbringer in his trademark move. Behemoth tried to fight back, pouring all kinds of energy into Snek and the shadow creature, but it appeared Snek's Master had prepared him well for this encounter. As Behemoth's moves became jerkier and more desperate, the massive length of Snek's body continued to wrap inexorably around him.

As the unequal combat went on—Snek was already ripping away chunks of Behemoth's rocky 'flesh' and swallowing them whole—Dragon concentrated on getting all the footage she could. Converting it to a usable format, she beamed it via various satellites to the PRT and Guild headquarters; they absolutely had to see this. For herself, she kind of wished she could sit back and enjoy the show with popcorn, because Behemoth had had this coming for a long, long time.

When Snek succeeded in tearing away Behemoth's left leg in its entirety, that was the beginning of the end. Behemoth struggled even harder, but his obsidian claws could get no purchase on Snek's obdurate scales. The hottest flames, the most intense lightning, the overpressure sound that sent out shockwaves visible on the satellite images for literally miles away, the blasts of radiation that cooked the already molten sand beneath them all over again … it did him no good whatsoever.

Piece by piece, Snek squeezed Behemoth into submission and ripped away bits of him, to be ingested with every evidence of enjoyment. When his massive gleaming fangs tore open Behemoth's chest and ripped out what might have been his heart (the satellite cameras couldn't get a good picture from that angle) and the remains of the monster's body went still, it was almost a mercy.

Snek didn't stop there, of course. He finished consuming Behemoth's body, leaving behind only the scars on the landscape to show that the battle had ever taken place. Once he was done, he created one of those 'wriggle-holes' and dived into it, followed by the shadow-creature that had once belonged to Moord Nag.

The portal closed, and Dragon did the electronic equivalent of leaning back and sighing with relaxation.

Well, she told herself. That's going to get a reaction.



End of Part Thirty-Three

 

[Ack]

I'll admit to some curiosity. Would the Director prefer to have a giant snake wandering through the city every so often? Or would she rather have an all-knowing, all-seeing, all-doing villain who wields a pistol, a shotgun, and a pair of shears residing full-time in the city instead?

Click to shrink...

I can just see Snek!Piggot and Atropos!Piggot in a bar, both leaning on the counter, staring into their drinks.

S!P: "So, when did you first find out?"
A!P: "Oni Lee got shot in the face. You?"
S!P: "He ate Lung. Then he started on the Nine."
A!P: "Huh. She burned Lung alive. Stabbed Kaiser through the head. Cut Coil's throat twice. Smeared Skidmark over two hundred yards of asphalt. And that was the first five days. Were the Nine in town too?"
S!P: "No, they were elsewhere. He saved Mouse Protector. He's very into saving people. And eating supervillains. How in God's name did she burn Lung alive?"
A!P: "You really don't want to know. Please tell me he didn't post bright little notes on PHO about who was going to die next, and when."
S!P: "No, PHO's not really his thing. He just showed up randomly. Chased the Empire Eighty-Eight through the city, teleporting them into holding cells. With someone on his back, playing Yackety Sax."
A!P: "She just warns people publicly, and if they screw up after two warnings, they're dead. She blitzed her way through the Nine in less than forty-five minutes, and she was taking time to make it look easy."
S!P: "As far as I can figure, he eats the worst and takes the rest to his world, where his Master rips their powers out and lets them loose in his own society to sink or swim."
A!P: "His Master?"
S!P: "Yeah. Godawfully powerful wizard. Like, destroying world-ending threats is Tuesday for him type powerful."
A!P: "So he got rid of your Endbringers?"
S!P: " No, he couldn't be bothered. Snek chased them down, wrapped them up, and ate them alive. Yours?"
A!P: "She blew away the Simurgh with a sawn-off shotgun, then Ended the other two in a way I'm still not sure about."
S!P: "Huh. Classy. So does she go after other S-class threats? Butcher, Ash Beast and the like?"
A!P: "Only if they threaten Brockton Bay, usually. Though the place is looking a lot nicer. She finagled a deal where we pay her ten percent of what we would've spent keeping the quarantine areas contained, plus ten percent of the Endbringer budget, for the next ten years, plus two billion for the Simurgh, and she's funneled it into a Betterment Committee. Somehow got Accord to plan the redevelopment. Paid him with his own money, if you can believe that."
S!P: "Impressive. No, the Bay's the same old, same old. A lot quieter, a lot nicer. I'm thinking about retiring. Not a lot for me to do now."
A!P: "Me too, but I'm running the New York department for the duration. Wilkins tried to unmask Atropos, and it was either arrest her or let her get shot in the face." <pause> "So, what's with the dragon?"
<both turn to look at the little blue dragon that's been raiding the peanuts>
S!P: "Sapphire's my emotional support hearth-dragon. Snek dropped her off one day. You should get one. They're amazing for the stress levels. I can put in a good word for you, if you want."
A!P: "I might just take you up on that."

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-Four: A New Era

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]

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♦ Topic: Snek vs Spicy Food
In: Boards ► Megathreads ► Weird Stuff ► Our Snekky Overlord
Dragon (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (Verified Cape) (Protectorate Cape) (Guild Member) (Verified Snek Fan)
Posted On Jun 14th 2011:
Well, he did it.
If you're wondering who 'he' is, you clearly didn't check the title of the board you're in. As for what he did, it's what the majority of the civilized world, at least that part of it that's tapped into the internet, has been waiting for since he made fish fingers out of Leviathan and chicken tenders out of the Simurgh.
Yes, folks. He killed Behemoth.
Now if you're wondering why it's me reporting it rather than someone else, that's because I saw it happen (well, one of my satellites picked up on it) so I got the footage first.
Sequence of events:
Late yesterday afternoon (Eastern Daylight Time: GMT-4) I started picking up earth tremors indicating that the big B was on the move, fast. In fact, as my analysis software determined (yes, it's that good) there were *two* big things down there. Snek had burrowed into the earth and was chasing Behemoth.
I'll just let you sit back and think about that for a moment.
Around midnight, Snek temporarily gave up the chase. It seems that, underground at least, Behemoth was able to stay ahead of him. But then he pulled another trick out of wherever he keeps them (he has a few, I know).
Those of you on here who are familiar with the international cape community would know of the African cape warlord Moord Nag ('Murder Night'). If you're really well informed, you'd know she's a Master, projecting a snake-like shadowy creature with a random animal skull for a head (if you didn't know that before, now you do). She calls the projection Aasdier ('Scavenger').
Or rather, she *was* a Master. As of this post, she hasn't been seen (by anyone who's talking about it) for thirty-six hours. But what Snek apparently called on was Aasdier, complete with lion skull for a head.
I have many, many questions.
Back to the action. I didn't see Aasdier at first. All I knew was that something was forcing Behemoth to the surface, and Snek was following along on top. it was only when Behemoth breached the surface (in Death Valley, which I choose to believe was deliberate on Snek's part) that I even figured out what was going on. Mostly, anyway.
So, the rest of the action (it really wasn't a fight) can be seen on this [footage] that I gathered with my satellites and a suit I sent in at short notice. It's all been spliced together in chronological sequence and enhanced as well as I can make it. We kind of missed out on most of Leviathan and the Simurgh going down like chumps, but hopefully this makes up for it.
Enjoy.

(Showing page 1 of 675)

►XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Wait. Is this ... is this real? I mean, Dragon's posting it, so ...
Holy crap. If this is real, this is huge.
Snek, you da MAN.

►GoodGirlRiley
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
No, Snek is a snek.
And he's a very good boy.

►Mouse_Protector (Veteran Member) (Verified Cape) (Independent Hero) (Purveyor of Cheesy Puns) (Verified Snek Fan)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Woo hoo! My bestest Snek buddy has done it again!
Snek, you're totally a good boy.
Isn't he just the Snekkiest Snek who ever Snekked?

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) (Verified Snek Fan)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
I, for one, welcome our new Snek overlord.

►Bagrat (The Guy in the Know) (Veteran Member)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Well, that's officially three for three.
Just goes to show, Behemoth was smart enough not to want anything to do with Snek.
Not that it saved him.
I, also, have questions about Aasdier. Moord Nag is definitely AWOL, so did Snek pay her a visit first?

►EmptyEyedMask
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
I get it, Snek, sometimes you just need some spicy food.
Now, where can we find a dumptruck full of Carolina Reapers? I have the urge to make a metric ton of atomic chilli.

►ToxicSnark
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
inb4 Uber and Leet set up a parody of Hot Ones for the best boi.

►Uber (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
We're gonna pass on this one, just in case something goes wrong and we get Snek mad at us.

►BlueSnake (Verified Not Snek)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
There are capes like Eidolon who might be able to kill an Endbringer if they could be protected long enough, and the target immobilised long enough, to pull off a critical hit.
And then there's the level of power where you chase down an Endbringer that's trying to run, tank everything it can throw at point blank range, and eat the whole thing, one bite at a time, as it tries and fails to get away.
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End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 673, 674, 675

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<><>​

Tattletale

Lisa closed down the thread after the first page. The question (such as it was) had been answered. Snek was manifestly capable of both killing and eating Behemoth, and had done so with considerable gusto and glee.

Not that anyone had actually believed he couldn't, after his showing with Leviathan. All there had been left to argue about was when he would get around to it, and (more importantly) how long it would take him to finish ingesting the first Endbringer, once he started.

As she understood matters, there were tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of dollars due to change hands, from people betting on the latter. She would've gotten involved in the online betting pools—someone with an eye for the main chance could make serious money there—except that as a probationary Ward in the making, that would cause Armsmaster to clear his throat and Director Piggot to raise an eyebrow. It was a scrutiny she could do without.

However, that didn't mean she was entirely without options.

"Okay," she said briskly, pulling out a piece of paper and unfolding it. "I make the time between first bite and last burp at two minutes thirty-three seconds. My personal pick was …" She rechecked the paper. "Two forty-five. Is anyone closer than twelve seconds?"

The other Wards around the room checked their selected times. Lisa watched as Dennis' lips moved in a hopeful attempt at mental math. Chris didn't even bother; he just pulled out a calculator and started plugging in numbers.

"Ugh, no," Carlos grumped. "I had three minutes clean. How the hell could he eat something that big, so fast?"

"Ooh, ooh, two minutes twenty," Missy enthused, then gave Lisa a hard stare. "How sure are you of that last second?"

"Hmm. Let's watch it again." If anyone else had challenged her on that, Lisa would've shut them down hard, but she had a soft spot for the earnest little munchkin. Being younger than everyone else, Vista tried harder, and it showed. Also, her power had the potential to be frankly terrifying if she ever went full ham with it, so Lisa had decided it wouldn't hurt to stay on her good side.

They ran through the footage again, everyone crowding around the laptop. The flash of fang as Snek latched onto Behemoth's leg was clear to see, and Vista started her phone timer at that point. As they watched the resultant carnage, the only thing missing was the sound effects. Lisa knew damn well that someone would re-post the footage with appropriate (or inappropriate) audio within a day.

As the last rocky-skinned silver-fleshed chunk of Endbringer vanished down the massive snake's gullet, Vista tapped her phone again to end the timer. Lisa looked at the number. It read 2:32.51.

Well, crap.

"Um, that actually looks like a tie," Chris ventured after a moment. "Twelve and a half seconds each way."

As Dennis and Carlos murmured in agreement, Lisa decided not to argue over the finer points of one hundredth of a second. Because again … stay on the good side of the hero who can flatten downtown Brockton Bay without breaking a sweat.

"A tie, it is," she agreed. "Nicely done, Missy."

"Damn right." Missy gave her a high-five, then turned to the others. "Okay, boys. Pay up."

With only a moderate amount of grumbling, the guys pulled out their various tokens. Gambling for money was a flat no-no with the Wards (especially since Dean could easily outbid them all with the allowance his parents gave him) but this was a loophole that had apparently been around since the Wards base had opened. The tokens represented chores that could be handed off, or shifts to be swapped, on presentation by the holder.

As Chris borrowed the laptop and started the footage running again—it was extremely watchable, if a little gruesome—Lisa and Missy divided the tokens up between them. Lisa was fully aware of Missy's crush on Dean, so she deliberately took the ones belonging to Chris and Dennis, leaving Missy to take Carlos'.

"Still think you've got an unfair advantage," Dennis groused, but he made no move to try to claim his tokens back.

Missy rolled her eyes. "And yet you still bet against her."

"Exactly," agreed Lisa. "Anyway, I doubt I could ever outguess Snek, powers or no powers."

"We don't know that you can't," Carlos pointed out.

"Really." Lisa looked over at Dean. "Have you met Snek yet? I can't remember." Lies, but she had a reason for bringing Dean into the conversation.

"I have, yeah." Dean shuddered. "He saved me and Chris and a bunch of civilians when the Fallen came to town and took over Fugly's. I remember him eating Valefor and Mama Mathers alive, just like that."

"Right, right, got it." Lisa raised her eyebrows interrogatively. "What did your power tell you when you looked at him?"

"It showed Snek's aura has a whole other set of colours, ones I've never seen on anyone else. At first I thought it meant he was hiding stuff from us, but then I realised that his colours just aren't the same as our colours."

"Okay, so he's a weird snake from a whole other world." Chris spread his hands. "What does that prove?"

Lisa shook her head. "It proves that Dean can't get a bead on Snek, any more than I can."

"How does it prove that?" Dennis whined.

"Because emotion is emotion," Dean snapped, fed up with Dennis' bellyaching. "It doesn't matter whether you're an alien, a pet or a human. Happy is happy and sad is sad and the colours are constant. Snek's colours are every other colour, because his existence naturally messes with my powers." He went as far as to cuff Dennis across the back of the head. "Get it now, dumbass?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Dennis gave Dean a dirty look. "Do that again and I will draw on your face." He left out the 'after I freeze you' but everyone heard it anyway.

Dean made a rude noise. "Good luck getting close enough to me."

Lisa leaned back in the couch and grinned as the banter went on. It was totally different from the Undersiders, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Also, not having to brush dog hair off her costume was a definite plus.

<><>​

Upstairs, in the Director's Office

Director Piggot, PRT ENE

"Well." Emily knew she was quoting Dragon, but it really needed to be said out loud. "He did it. He really, actually did it."

On the one hand, she hadn't really doubted that he could; on the other, capes had been trying to destroy Behemoth for nineteen years, with exactly zero success. There had been the nagging thought that the Hero-Killer might be a tougher takedown than Leviathan and the Simurgh, but the only 'tougher' aspect was the fact that he'd been harder to catch up with. Behemoth, in other words, had seen Snek coming and wanted nothing to do with him.

Emily couldn't exactly blame him for that. There was nothing that terrified her more than the idea of having something like Snek pursuing her, relentless and literally unstoppable. No matter how far or fast she ran, his fangs would be waiting for her when she got to where she was going.

I am so glad he's on our side.

Sapphire chirped and eased her head under Emily's hand. The contact served to dispel the chill that had briefly danced up and down Emily's spine, and a sense of calm spread through her mind. She smiled and hitched one shoulder forward; Sapphire took the hint, and hopped over to perch on the proffered shoulder.

"You know what?" Emily said as she reached up to scratch the little dragon under the chin. "There's nothing knocking down my door right this minute, and I just watched a giant snake eat an Endbringer alive. Which means that either I'm dreaming or this is officially a Good Day. Either way, we've earned a moment of 'us' time. So what say we go up to the roof, and you show me just how far and fast you can fly?"

Sapphire's head came up, and she chirped enthusiastically. She'd already been for an outing on the previous evening when Emily took her home, but it had been getting dark and she hadn't stayed up long. Today it was bright and sunny, and Emily figured she had a better chance to really get out and fly.

Reaching out, she pressed the intercom button, then paused. Lifting her finger, she clicked the button to make it a building-wide call. "Attention, all. This is the Director. As some of you may have heard, I've been given the care of a hearth-dragon. If any off-duty personnel are interested, I will be taking her up to the roof in the next five minutes to let her stretch her wings. Piggot, out."

The building was sturdily built, so she couldn't actually detect the vibrations echoing from floor to floor, but as she let herself out of her office, she could almost swear the place had begun swarming like a kicked anthill. From the way Sapphire looked around, Emily suspected she could actually feel the emotional uproar. More to the point, she seemed to be looking forward to showing off in front of a crowd. From Emily's extremely limited experience with hearth-dragons, shyness was not something they tended to suffer from.

They rode up in the elevator. When the doors opened and Emily stepped out onto the roof, Sapphire's interest sharpened and she spread her wings, though she remained on Emily's shoulder. Emily walked out toward the helipad marking on the roof, fully aware for the first time of the city spread out around her.

She'd been up on the roof many times before, but only as a prelude to getting on a chopper and going somewhere else. This time, it almost felt as though she were seeing it through Sapphire's eyes: a wonderful high place for taking off and soaring on the breeze.

Is this what it's like to be bonded?

It seemed to Emily that Brandish had known when she herself bonded to … what was the silver hearth-dragon's name? Argent? That sounded about right.

In any case, Emily figured that if she wasn't certain, it probably meant they weren't actually bonded yet. Though the empathic impressions suggested to her that they were well on the way. Which was nice, because over the last twenty-odd hours, Sapphire had definitely been growing on her.

Wait, when do I ever think of something as 'nice'?

Emily frowned, thinking that over. Stopping in the middle of the 'H', she turned to look as the first of the potential spectators began to flood out onto the roof. "Excuse me," she called out. "I need a volunteer with a phone."

Phones appeared as if by magic—which really should have been no surprise to her—and she pointed out the nearest person, an analyst called Bethany Henderson. When she beckoned, Henderson came closer. "Yes, ma'am?"

Emily raised her eyebrows. "Do you have cat videos on your phone?"

"Um …" Henderson dragged her eyes away from where Sapphire was still perched on Emily's shoulder. "Ma'am?"

Emily tried not to let impatience creep into her tone. "Cat videos. You look like a cat video person. Do you have them?"

"No, ma'am, but I can find one online easily enough." Henderson fiddled with her phone, then showed Emily the screen. Sapphire leaned in to watch as well, as an admittedly cute kitten tumbled over and over with a ball of yarn as big as it was.

Emily had never been big on videos like that, and even now it only roused mild interest in her. But the weird thing was, she was beginning to feel Sapphire's amusement, separate from hers. The word 'nice' didn't apply to how she felt about the video, but it still popped up when she focused on the little dragon.

Okay, so that's a thing. My overall attitudes aren't changing. Just how I feel about Sapphire.

"Thank you," she said. "You can start recording now, if you want."

Henderson smiled. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am." She stepped back and tapped a few icons on her phone, then raised it to get Sapphire in view.

Emily nodded in acknowledgement, then held up her wrist to let Sapphire jump onto it. "Everyone, I want you to meet Sapphire. Snek dropped by my office yesterday and left her in my care while he went after Behemoth. She's going to be in the building for the next few days at least, maybe a lot longer. I'm pretty certain she's got door handles figured out, and I'm not so sure about the elevator, so don't be surprised if she drops by to visit any of you."

As she spoke, she raised her wrist so that everyone could see her. Sapphire, loving the attention, preened as she spread her wings to the fullest. Feeling that Sapphire was about to take off, Emily flicked her wrist upward.

With a downward gust of wind, Sapphire launched herself into the air, her wings beating in a symphony of motion. She swooped out over the still-growing crowd, evidently showing off for all present, then rocketed skyward. Emily felt a second-hand burst of enjoyment as she followed the hearth-dragon with her eyes.

Yeah, she really loves flying.

Armsmaster stepped up alongside her, helmet raised to watch Sapphire pulling some impressively complicated aerobatics. If Emily had needed any more proof that hearth-dragons were inveterate show-offs, this would've been it.

"I was just on my way up to your office," he said by way of greeting. "Hearth-dragons are fascinating creatures. I was hoping to get your permission to examine her more closely."

"You'll need hers, too." Emily nodded toward Sapphire, to make it clear who she was referring to. "Though she'll probably agree in a heartbeat. She loves the attention."

"So I see." Armsmaster raised a handheld scanner and pointed it at Sapphire. Emily saw three mini-screens, each showing the agile little dragon via a different section of the electromagnetic spectrum, or so she assumed. The rest of the screen showed graphs and wiggly lines that she had no way to analyse. "I suspect you'll have a hard time prising her away from the Wards, once they get in the same room together."

Emily recalled Vista's comments regarding hearth-dragons on PHO, and nodded. "I can't argue with that." She frowned and gestured at the device. "Did you build that specifically? Today?"

"I started on it when New Wave announced that they had acquired their three, but then I heard you had this one." He seemed to peer at the readout. "That … doesn't really agree with physics. Or physics doesn't agree with it. One of the two."

Emily chuckled dryly. "You will excuse the levity, but you are aware that she's a sapient member of a previously unknown species from a world where magic is very much a real state of affairs, correct? I would be entirely unsurprised if she considers physics to be an optional extra."

"Over and above cape powers, ma'am?" He sounded vaguely dubious.

That drew a snort from her. "Earlier today, a giant snake from her world hunted down and ate the most dangerous extant threat in Earth Bet. It wasn't even a contest. What part of this indicates that magic's limited to what powers are capable of?"

"I suppose." The dubious tone hadn't left his voice, but now it seemed to be directed at his scanner. "Is it just me, or is the signal starting to break up?"

She drew her attention from where Sapphire was flying loops, Immelmanns, and figure-eights farther up in the sky. While she wasn't an expert, the images in the mini-screens seemed to be fading out and the other data was flickering in and out. "It does look like it, yes."

He raised his head and looked up at where Sapphire was. "I … actually can't see where she is anymore."

"Really?" She shaded her eyes, watching the little dragon's progress across the sky. "Are you sure you're not using a blue filter? Because I can see her just fine."

"I've got every visual enhancement available running." He shook his head. "Once she got a certain distance away, she dropped off my scopes. Can hearth-dragons go stealth?"

Emily considered that. "The one that Panacea has, Twilight, looks like she could maybe do something of the sort, but I'd need to talk to her about that. Can you really not see her?"

Armsmaster touched the side of his helmet. There was a faint whirring noise. "Even without any electronic assistance, I've got nothing. Where is she?"

"There." She pointed toward Sapphire as she swooped across the roof, then down out of sight. "Ah, she went below the roofline."

"I still didn't see her." He stared at her, then at his scanner. "Please tell me you aren't, uh, punking me." The slang term sounded bizarre, coming from him.

She gave him a hard stare. "I may be on the verge of adopting a terminally cute critter from a literally magical alternate dimension, and I may have smiled more often in the last day than I have in the last year, but really?" She did her best to arch an eyebrow in emphasis of her words.

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."

Emily had her mouth open to reply when Sapphire came up over the roof edge behind them, performed a perfect barrel roll, then alighted gently on Armsmaster's shoulder. Leaning in to peer at the readout screen of the scanner, which was now showing three close-up views of her face, she let out an interrogative chirp. Armsmaster was so startled, he nearly dropped the device.

Emily amended what she'd been going to say at the last moment. "That's not to say that she isn't punking you, of course."

As Armsmaster turned his helmet to survey Sapphire at close range, Emily could feel the smugness radiating from the tiny dragon. "So noted, ma'am."

Having a hearth-dragon in her life, Emily suspected, was going to be many things. Boring wouldn't be one of them.



End of Part Thirty-Four

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-Five: Home Truths

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]



Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Director Emily Piggot, PRT ENE

As the clock ticked over to five, Emily sighed and closed her laptop down. She was starting to get a feel for where Sapphire was—next door, visiting Renick—which suggested that the bonding process was definitely ongoing. By the time she'd disconnected the device from its charge cord and stowed it in its locked drawer, she could tell that the hearth-dragon was on her way back.

The connecting door clicked open just as she stood up, and Sapphire appeared in the gap, pushing it open then closing it again behind her. That task completed, she flew across to land on Emily's shoulder, a situation that Emily was finding more and more natural.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself exploring the place." Emily automatically stroked Sapphire as she opened her office door and stepped out into the corridor. "Now we get to go home. You'll probably find it a lot less interesting than here."

Sapphire chirped and rubbed her head against Emily's cheek, which Emily took to mean that Sapphire was happy to be anywhere that Emily was. Never one for sentiment, she still found herself touched. She didn't have the time or inclination to take care of a dog or cat, despite the affection that would be returned, but Sapphire was someone she could have a conversation with and cuddle up to, without all the baggage of dealing with a human relationship.

They rode down in the elevator to the underground parking garage, and she went to her car. This was something she'd been mildly concerned about; it was somewhat unlikely that Sapphire had ever seen a car, much less been inside one, and she wasn't sure how the hearth-dragon would react to being enclosed in a moving metal box. However, when she unlocked it with the fob and opened the door, Sapphire hopped off her shoulder and scrambled across to the passenger seat without having to be prompted.

Nor did she stop there. By the time Emily got in and fastened her seatbelt, Sapphire had thoroughly investigated the interior of the car, including the back seat, and was perched up on the front passenger seat, peering out the window. Her bright, alert demeanour and her encouraging chirp came across as, 'well, come on. Let's get going.'

Emily chuckled and started the car. Trust hearth-dragons to be infinitely adaptable.

As they headed for the exit, she pulled her swipe-card and lowered her window to tap out for the day. The guard in the box nodded politely to her, then did a double-blink as Sapphire popped up next to Emily and gave him a friendly chirp. "Uh … ma'am?" he asked uncertainly.

"I've been gifted with the care and feeding of a hearth-dragon, trooper," she informed him blandly. "She will almost certainly find her way down here to say hello at some point. Her name is Sapphire and yes, she will beg for treats. They're incorrigible like that."

"Um." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I see. Is there anything I shouldn't feed her, ma'am?"

Emily smiled. "I've been reliably informed that they eat whatever we do, so feel free to indulge her."

"Thank you, ma'am. Have a good evening."

"You too, trooper." She gave him a nod in return, then started the car forward as the barrier rose. Pulling out onto the street behind the PRT building, she turned in the direction of home and hit the button to raise the window at the same time.

Thirty seconds later, the passenger-side window buzzed down. Emily glanced across to see Sapphire perched on the armrest, her head out the window in the slipstream, evidently enjoying the breeze. It was clear to Emily that this was no accident; Sapphire had observed what she'd done and figured out how to do it on her side.

It really shouldn't have come as a surprise. After all, Flashbang's dragon Snap had a rapidly growing fanbase who followed him almost entirely due to his artistic merits with a cell-phone camera. Despite the fact that they came from a world almost entirely devoid of anything resembling modern technology, hearth-dragons were very quick learners.

The trip home was uneventful. None of the gangs were active, thanks to Snek, and the mundane criminals were keeping their heads down too. Emily didn't hear a single siren the whole way home. Sapphire spent the drive alternating between sticking her head out the window (and startling people at traffic lights, which she apparently delighted in doing) and cuddling up to Emily.

When Emily let herself in the front door to her apartment and flicked the light switch, the place looked even more drab than normal. She knew this was because she wanted to impress Sapphire somehow, give her a place to live that wasn't so mundane, but even that awareness didn't make her feel better about it. "Well, this is home," she said out loud. "Such as it is. Feel free to look around. I'm sure you'll figure out where you want to sleep."

She left the hearth-dragon to her own devices as she headed into the bathroom and took a shower. Once she was done, and had emerged in less formal clothing, she heard the sound of running water. Tracking it down didn't take long; Sapphire was in the kitchen sink, giving herself a bath under the running faucet. Seeing her come in, Sapphire turned off the water with a flip of her tail, shook the remaining water from her scales (causing much less spray than if she'd had fur) then looked up at Emily with an expectant chirp.

"Well, I definitely don't have to worry about your hygiene," Emily mused. "So, I'm thinking we'll have a microwave meal tonight, then I'll see about getting you your own food stocks tomorrow. Does that work for you?"

It hadn't quite been a rhetorical question. As she'd already noted, hearth-dragons were very aware of tone and meaning, even if they didn't quite know all the words yet. Sapphire chirped agreeably, then hopped out of the sink and jumped up onto Emily's shoulder, assisted by a single flap of her wings. Her paws were able to grip without digging claws in, for which Emily was grateful; besides, the warm presence on her shoulder was quite companionable.

Ten minutes later, they sat and watched some old comedy on TV while eating. Sapphire seemed to like the show, or perhaps she was enjoying Emily's appreciation of it. For her part, Emily found herself becoming more and more used to Sapphire's presence, even when the little dragon shamelessly begged for yet another morsel from her plate.

As Emily set up her hemodialysis for the night, she noted that Sapphire was watching her carefully. "Sorry, I'm not perfect," she said, stroking the little dragon's head. "Once I lie down, I won't be able to get up in a hurry. So if there's a problem, I'm going to need time before I can come and help, okay?"

Sapphire nodded and kept out of the way; once Emily had settled down, she perched at the head of the bed. As Emily began drifting off to sleep, she was vaguely aware that Sapphire had left the room and was moving through the apartment. She got the impression that the little dragon was scouting the perimeter, both cute and very much in character for her new companion.

When she woke up, she discovered Sapphire curled up under her arm, right next to the pillow, emitting tiny draconic snores. She also felt more rested than she had in some time. No dreams of Ellisburg to disturb her sleep, which was an unexpected bonus.

Sapphire woke as Emily was getting dressed, and accompanied her into the small kitchen. Recalling Riley's advice, Emily decided to prepare toast as well as bacon and eggs; she couldn't help smiling at the beatific expression on Sapphire's muzzle at the smell of cooking bacon.

Just as she was putting the eggs back in the fridge, a mouse dashed out from under the appliance. Emily cursed as it ran across her bare foot, and Sapphire's head snapped around. The hearth-dragon went from intently watching the frying bacon to blurred movement down toward the kitchen floor. There was a startled squeak followed by a crunch, and the mouse was no more.

Her eyebrows raising, Emily looked down at Sapphire, who beamed smugly back up at her. "Well, damn," she said, closing the fridge door. "That was impressive. I've been trying to get that little bastard for weeks."

It was apparent that not only were hearth-dragons adorable and enjoyable to socialise with, but they were also no slouches in the vermin-hunting stakes. Able to appreciate all three qualities on their own merits, Emily decided that she'd just been given a whole new reason to stick with the partnership.

They ate together at the table, Sapphire consuming an entire slice of fresh toast and a strip of crunchy bacon as though she'd been starving for days. The mouse, Emily figured, had just been an incidental appetiser. Sapphire was welcome to eat as many rodents that intruded on the apartment as she liked, and Emily would be happy to supply bacon and toast afterward.

Once they were finished, she picked up the phone and called a particular number. "Hello, Carol …?"

<><>​

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Sapphire was doing her usual trick of sticking her head out the car window as they drove along. It was amusing to see the reactions of people alongside them at the lights, ranging from 'what the hell?' to 'd'aaaaawww'. As much as she clearly enjoyed this, she'd still spend about half of any car ride leaning up against Emily, a highly agreeable situation for both of them.

And then Sapphire's head came up and she stared into the distance ahead of them. The chirp she let out sounded quite authoritative, and different to all the other sounds Emily had heard her make. Emily raised her eyebrows, a gesture she seemed to be making a lot these days. "You know they're there, don't you?" She'd wanted it to be a surprise, but it seemed that surprising a hearth-dragon took a lot of doing.

As she pulled up alongside Westlake Park, she could tell that Sapphire was becoming more and more excited. However, the little dragon stuck with her while she got out and locked the vehicle, hopping onto her shoulder while still looking across to the other side of the park. Emily followed her line of sight to see the Dallon contingent of New Wave also getting out of a car, complete with their three hearth-dragons. All three were staring in Sapphire's direction.

Reaching up, Emily stroked Sapphire's head and neck. "Okay, sweetie. Go have fun."

In another instant, Sapphire was in the air, her wings beating hard as she flew to meet the other three. Emily followed on foot, heading over to meet the Dallons. Or rather, she went to meet Flashbang, Brandish and Panacea, while Glory Girl joined the hearth-dragons overhead.

"Good morning!" Brandish's broad smile and enthusiastic greeting held every appearance of pleasure. She even went so far as to hug Emily, which she had never done before, in costume or out of it. After a startled instant, Emily hugged her in return, unexpectedly enjoying the brief moment of human contact. "I'm glad you called us up. This was a good idea."

"Thank you." Emily shook Flashbang's hand, then Panacea's. Hugging one cape in any given day was as far as she was willing to go, her new outlook on life notwithstanding. "I'm pleased you accepted. Sapphire seems to think it's a good idea too."

"Twilight definitely thinks it is," agreed Panacea. "She was so pleased when Mom and Dad got Argent and Snap, and now you've got Sapphire. And I'm happy you got her too."

Emily looked at her curiously. "Would you mind explaining that statement?"

"Sure." Panacea led the way to a picnic table and sat down. "You haven't been happy for the longest time. Anyone can see it, especially with a hearth-dragon to help you do the looking. Plus, your health isn't the best, and the unhappiness wasn't helping at all. You're in charge of a lot of people, Director. They deserve to have a boss who's the very best version of who they should be."

Emily blinked at the forthright statement. A glance at Flashbang and Brandish told her that they weren't about to reprimand their daughter for her stance; Brandish was even nodding along with it. And it wasn't as though Panacea was wrong.

"Woo hoo!" Glory Girl's exuberant voice cut through the moment. "Coming through!" She flashed overhead, about ten feet up, with four hearth-dragons on her six, all flying hard. There was a small stand of trees up ahead, and she cut through them, dodging between the trunks. The dragons split up; Sapphire flew up and over the trees, Snap went left, Argent went right, and Twilight followed Glory Girl through. Seconds later, although they'd lost sight of her, there was a squawk of triumph. After a long moment, Glory Girl's voice sounded clearly. "Aw, man."

Panacea smirked. "Wonder who got her?"

"Argent did, but it doesn't matter," Brandish replied, the smile returning to her face. "They formulated a strategy and pulled it off."

"And maybe Vicky won't be quite so overconfident in future," Flashbang noted. "Though it might take a few more lessons." He chuckled and shook his head. "They are not to be underestimated, that's for sure."

Emily nodded. "I've noticed that they aren't just smart and empathetic. Sapphire got a mouse in my apartment on the first morning. I barely saw her move."

This time, Panacea chuckled. "Bet the mouse didn't, either."

"Very true." Emily turned to look at her. "But you were speaking about my health and happiness, or my lack thereof. I was under the impression that both of those were my business and nobody else's."

"Broadly speaking, that's true," agreed the young healer. "And happiness has been shown to have a positive impact on health. But given the problems I saw when I shook your hand, your overall state of health can't go anywhere but down. It will absolutely cut years off your life, maybe decades."

Feeling her good mood slipping away, Emily gripped the edge of the picnic table, digging her nails in. "I didn't come here to be lectured. I came here so that Sapphire could have a play date with your dragons. My health is my concern, and that's final."

With a rush of wings, Sapphire landed on her shoulder, while Twilight alighted on the table in front of Panacea, and each of the other hearth-dragons touched down on the shoulder or arm of their respective human partner. Emily felt Sapphire's concern, and regret filled her at having upset her companion. Reaching up, Emily caressed her, smoothing her wings down, while Sapphire leaned into the side of her head and crooned gently.

"That's all true, to a point." Brandish spoke in a non-confrontational manner, holding Argent close to her. The silvery hearth-dragon snuggled up to her, eyes half-closed with enjoyment. "The problem is, you're bonded to her now. That only gets broken one way: with death."

Glory Girl nodded as she landed alongside the table. "That's true. I'm not bonded, but Riley told us all about it."

Emily got the impression she was missing an important point. "Okay, but Sapphire's not going to find it hard to bond with someone else once I'm gone. She's already made friends with ninety percent of the people in the PRT building."

"No," Flashbang said. "That's not going to happen. Didn't they tell you?" He stared at her, his expression full of sorrow. "Once you're bonded, that's it. Your life force is entwined with hers. If you die, she dies."

"What?" Emily blinked, trying to will what she'd heard into any other configuration of words, but treacherous memory played it back perfectly. If you die, she dies. Horrified, she reached up and gathered Sapphire into her arms, staring at the perfect little hearth-dragon, her beautiful blue scales, as a bottomless pit opened up beneath her. "No. That's not true. It can't be true."

"It's true." Panacea's voice echoed in her ears as from far away. "Hearth-dragons only live twenty to thirty years in the wild, but if they bond to a human, each lives as long as the other."

"No. I won't let that happen." Emily held Sapphire closer. "How can I fix this?"

"Before we answer that," Brandish said quietly, "I think we need to know why you haven't had your problems dealt with earlier. After all, you're a PRT Director. If anyone has access to parahuman healing, it would be you."

Sapphire rubbed the top of her head against the underside of Emily's jaw while she wrestled with the question. It was something she hadn't shared with anyone, even the PRT-mandated therapist, for the last ten years. Up until now, the barrier against saying anything had been too high. The wrong word in the wrong ear might have had devastating consequences for her career.

But now, all she saw in every face was concern and understanding. Sapphire's warmth, both physical and emotional, buoyed her up and gave her the strength to speak. "It was Ellisburg," she said at last. "I went in with a strike squad."

She told the story slowly and haltingly, holding onto Sapphire like a lifeline. How they'd gone in with cape support, but when the operation went bad, the heroes had fled, leaving the troopers on the ground to fend for themselves. The fighting retreat, spending ammunition and containment foam like water, losing comrades all the way. How the dying screams of her friends still haunted her nightmares of that place. And how when they finally pulled her out of that slice of hell on earth, they'd had to first kill the monsters that had been chewing on her legs and ripping into her back.

"While I was in recovery, I decided I'd never let myself depend on a cape for anything important," she concluded. "I'd seen what they were like. Undependable, liable to cut and run when the going got tough." Her expression twisted into a sour grimace. "When they posted me here as Director, it was a cruel joke. I set out to make sure not one of my capes ever pulled that shit on anyone. Did I push too hard? Probably. But they do say first impressions are the ones that stick."

"But surely you've seen that most capes aren't like that, right?" asked Glory Girl. "I mean, New Wave, we're pretty good at what we do."

Emily turned to look at her. "Miss Dallon, there is a YouTube channel solely devoted to the collateral damage you have personally caused around the city. I believe this is not your topic to address." She didn't raise her voice, but her tone raised a flush on Glory Girl's face.

"That's not fair." Panacea moderated her tone when Twilight nuzzled her ear, and she hugged the little dragon a little closer. "Vicky means well. So do most of the capes who screw up. Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're not wrong," Emily confirmed. "I have been guilty of focusing on the bad and overlooking the good, and that's something I'll be working to remedy from here on in. It's also true that I was being a little unfair just now, but that was to make a point. Surely it must be easier to just … not break things?"

Brandish snorted softly, and rolled her eyes. "You'd think so. Neil gets by fairly well, and he's seven feet tall."

"I'm trying harder, these days," Glory Girl protested. "I haven't broken anything for ages!"

Emily nodded. "Understood, and that's laudable. However, you do comprehend why I've refused parahuman healing to this point?"

"Yeah, we get it," agreed Flashbang. "I can see why it might be problematic for you, given your experiences with capes in a tight spot."

"'Problematic' is a distinct understatement, Mr Dallon." Emily looked around at each superhero at the table. "However, there comes a point in every person's life when they have to stop and re-examine their convictions. Or rather, there should. This is such a time for me. I could stick to it … but that could have tragic consequences for Sapphire, and I refuse to let that happen." She caressed Sapphire's wings gently, feeling the delicate membranes under her fingertips. Closing her eyes, the hearth-dragon rumbled softly and leaned against Emily's chest.

Panacea waited for a few seconds before she spoke. "So, you'll let me heal you?"

Brandish cleared her throat. "I suggest we make it official. We borrow facilities in Brockton General—you've healed enough people there, they should dedicate a whole wing to you—and you grow back the Director's kidneys and calf muscles there. A doctor on staff checks and certifies your work, and that makes it all above board, going forward."

"That sounds reasonable to me." Emily scratched Sapphire under the throat, where she liked it. "If you could set it up, I would appreciate it. In the meantime, Glory Girl, I believe our meal has arrived." She nodded toward where a pizza delivery van had just rolled up to the side of the park. "Could you please fetch it for us?"

"Uh … sure." The teen hero took to the air and flew in the direction of the van.

Brandish raised an eyebrow. "You ordered pizza for us? How did you know we'd all still be here?"

"I didn't." Emily smiled. "But I'm sure Sapphire doesn't mind cold pizza."

Raising her head, Sapphire made a noise of interest. The other hearth-dragons joined in, all looking in the direction of where Glory Girl was fetching the refreshments. It wasn't long before she started back, carrying two pizza boxes and a bag with a couple of soda bottles plus some paper cups, all per the order.

"We have pizza!" declared Glory Girl, coming in for a creditable landing, considering that her hands were full. "Big one for us, kids' size one for the dragons?"

"That is the general idea," Emily confirmed. "Given their general carnivorous proclivities, I ordered a meat-lovers with extra meat for them. I didn't know what you ate so I ordered half and half Supreme and Hawaiian. Does anyone have a problem with that?"

A general chorus of 'no' arose, amid laughter and the excited chirping of hearth-dragons. It was Twilight who figured out how to open the smaller box, whereupon the four hearth-dragons set about dividing the contents equally between them.

Emily took a slice of Supreme. She hadn't eaten pizza in years, but some things never changed. "Do you know, Sapphire bathes herself in the kitchen sink? Uses the brush to scrub her back between her wings and everything."

Panacea rolled her eyes as she claimed a slice of Hawaiian. "Twilight worked out how to open tins of fish, then taught the others how to do it. I caught her at it. She asks if she can have one, but still."

"Wait," protested Emily. "How …?" Hearth-dragons weren't weak for their size, but they weren't that strong.

Brandish shook her head. "They use a spoon handle for leverage. It's like watching the march of technology, sped up a thousand times."

Emily nodded. "I hear you. Sapphire figured out electric car windows in less than a minute. And she uses the toilet if she needs to go. She even flushes, once I showed her how." That had been a surreal experience.

Glory Girl looked around at the others. "Do ours do that? I thought they just went outside, in the garden."

Flashbang shrugged. "No idea. I honestly wouldn't be surprised, either way."

Emily looked at the New Wave heroes. "So, how did you meet your hearth-dragons, anyway? You just went to Snek's world and there they were?"

Panacea grinned and pointed at Brandish. "She's got the best story by far. So, there we were, in a medieval fantasy world, and Mom was all up in arms about hearth-dragons, and we went into an honest to goodness tavern …"

Brandish hid her face while everyone else laughed. "I wasn't that bad. Was I?"

"Yes, Mom, you were." Glory Girl giggled as she took another slice of pizza. "Mind you, Uncle Neil was talking about learning how to quaff ale, so that was something else we were looking forward to. But anyway …"

Emily grinned as the tale unfolded. The pizza was hot, the soda was cold, and the company was pleasant.

All in all, it was turning out to be a very good day.



End of Part Thirty-Five

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-Six: The Snek and the Dragon

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]



Dragonslayer Base

Margaret "Mags" Pellick

Geoff had been unusually quiet for the last few days, but Mags was used to that. As far as she could tell, a little brooding every now and again was good for his mental health. Sometimes a good idea or two even came out of it.

Thus, when he sat up straight at the breakfast table and looked her straight in the face, she was ready for whatever came next. Or at least, she thought she was.

"You know, I think we're about done here."

She didn't answer immediately. He may have just been talking about breakfast, but she didn't think so. After a moment of trying to figure out what he was talking about, she decided the statement was just too ambiguous, so she frowned and shook her head. "Done with what, love?"

"This whole dance with Dragon." His tone was matter-of-fact with a tinge of impatience, as if he'd been expecting her to read his mind. "It's about run its course, don't you think?"

She leaned back in her seat and answered cautiously. "I suppose that depends on what you mean by 'run its course', love."

"You know what I mean." He spoke impatiently. "The Endbringers are extinct, eaten by that giant snake. Half the world's S-class threats have gone the same way, and the rest are either next on the menu or in deep hiding. Any perceived need we had for allowing that machine to exist one more day is also gone. We can shut it down today, with a clear conscience."

"This is a little sudden." She pushed some egg around her plate for a moment. "You've tolerated Dragon's existence for years. Why the sudden rush to enact Ascalon now?"

He grimaced. "Because the snake has cleared most of the threats off the board. Dragon can devote a lot more processing power toward figuring out how to start searching for us, and get around the blind-spot code string. It's really only a matter of time, unless we kill it first."

"That's … actually a little concerning." She glanced toward the computer setup where they were monitoring Dragon's internal activities. "Have you seen anything to indicate that this is happening? The limiters—"

"It's not human." Geoff's scorn showed through clearly in his voice. "Doesn't matter that it's got limiters on its activities. The moment it gets past the blind-spot and starts searching for real, we'd only have hours or minutes before it vectors a cruise missile or two in on us."

A chill started inching its way down Mags' back. "You really think this is likely to happen." She wasn't quite asking a question.

"I know it is." He stared into her eyes, apparently trying to win her over through sheer willpower. "It's what I'd do if I were a soulless machine and there were people trying to stop me from doing whatever I wanted to the population."

She gave him a half-smile. "Well, that last bit's probably not the best argument, but you make some excellent points. Let's get Mischa in here and see what his opinion on the matter is."

"Opinion?" Geoff set his jaw stubbornly. "We don't need opinions. We need to kill the thing before it kills us."

"On the other hand," Mags pointed out reasonably, "shutting down Dragon once and for all will cut off our supply of new suit parts. I'm pretty sure Mischa will appreciate having at least a heads-up that we're about to do this, as well as a voice in whether or not it actually happens."

Geoff sighed. "Okay, yeah, good point. Let's get him in here."

<><>​

Dobrynja

Mornings were the time when Mischa did his best work, so after an early breakfast and a brief workout in their makeshift gym, he'd set to work checking over their power armour. Things had been quiet recently, but he didn't trust it; something was up, he could feel it in the air. And if it turned out to be something they needed the armour for, they'd be ready.

Unless, of course, there was a distraction.

"Mischa! You there?" It was Geoff, leaning into the armour bay and looking around. "Got something we need to ask you."

Mischa put the device running the diagnostics software to one side and moved into Geoff's line of sight. "Da, comrade. Am here. What do you need to ask?"

"I'm thinking we should kill Dragon, but Mags wants to make sure we're all on the same page before we trigger Ascalon." Geoff gave Mischa a searching look. "What do you think?"

"Kill?" Mischa's head came up. "Are we looking at Skynet situation?" All of a sudden, his unease made a lot more sense.

"Uh, no, not yet." Geoff sounded slightly embarrassed at having to admit this, though he recovered quickly. "But I think you'll agree with my assessment anyway."

Mischa nodded. "Will come and see." He set the diagnostic tool to continue working automatically and to sound an audible alarm if it found a problem, then followed Geoff into the main room.

It only took a few moments for Geoff to explain why he wanted to use the kill-switch, and Mischa found himself agreeing for the most part. The last thing they wanted was indeed a vengeful supercomputer targeting their entire neighbourhood with every cruise missile she could get her electronic hands on. He only had one issue with the idea, and it turned out to be the same one Mags had raised.

"We've got some pretty good equipment already," Geoff reminded them. "Plus, once Dragon has been reduced to random ones and zeroes, we can walk into its home base and strip it bare of every last piece of equipment that it's been working on. I can guarantee you, there'll be stuff there that hasn't yet seen the light of day. It'll be the payday to end all paydays. Enough for all of us to retire on, easily."

Mischa took a moment to consider that. "So … once Dragon is vanquished once and for all, you intend to ride into sunset? Bring team to end?"

"Well … yes." Geoff spread his hands. "We formed this team to keep Dragon in check, didn't we? It's right there in the name. Once Dragon's dead, there'll be no more dragons to slay. So we flip the kill-switch, collect what we're owed, and kick back on some tropical beach somewhere to relax in the knowledge of a job well done."

Now Mags was looking thoughtful. It seemed Geoff hadn't explained this far into his plan before getting Mischa's attention, or maybe he was just making it up as he went along. Either way, it sounded good.

"Huh," Mags muttered. "We really could, couldn't we? And we wouldn't even have to worry about Leviathan spoiling our day."

Geoff nodded, and turned toward the computer setup that they used to monitor Dragon's every move. Keying the microphone, he said, "Ascalon."

Words appeared on the screen. Confirm: Y/N

Poising his finger over the 'Y' key, Geoff said quietly, "Does anyone have any objections to this? Last chance to point out something I've missed."

"No." That was Mags.

"Nyet."

"Yesss."

Mischa froze, just as Geoff and Mags did. There was only one publicly known entity on Earth Bet who spoke with that particular sibilance.

"Mischa?" That was Geoff. He didn't need to say anything else. The question was obvious.

"Da." Gradually, inch by inch, Mischa turned his head, then froze all over again. This was because as bad as imagining Snek's presence was, actually seeing the gigantic reptile casually coiled around the table in their eating area and watching them with mild interest, was so much worse. Even the comically small hat seemed to be charged with menace.

Up until now, Mischa had considered himself a courageous man. He had, on more than one occasion, thrown himself into the fray against heroes misguided enough to go to Dragon's defence against them. But now, faced with the reality of the situation, it became apparent to him that facing such dangers without a protective suit around him was far more terrifying than he'd previously assumed.

To put it bluntly, he was teetering on the verge of soiling himself.

"It is him," he confirmed, his voice hitting a higher pitch than he would've assumed possible. "It is Endbringer eating snake."

"Ssnek iss Ssnek," confirmed the gargantuan creature. "Why iss crosss-facce man trying to hurt machine lady Dragon?"

It took Mischa a couple of seconds to equate 'cross-face man' with Geoff, then he wanted to face-palm. However, the need to not be eaten was overriding that desire rather handily, so he restrained himself. Standing stock-still and not angering the creature that had chased down and eaten all three Endbringers seemed like a really good idea, right then.

However, Geoff was made of sterner stuff, or perhaps his personal animus against Dragon was overriding his common sense. "Because even if you don't understand it, Dragon is a danger to the whole human race!" His finger stabbed down on the 'Y' key—but as he did so, the screen went blank and the whole computer shut down.

Snek slithered a few feet closer. Mischa found himself leaning out of the way; he loved Geoff like a brother, but theirs was not a suicide pact. "Crosss-facce man iss bad man." As mildly as the words were spoken, the intent behind them was absolutely lethal. Mischa had seen what happened to people Snek considered 'bad men'.

"What did you do?" demanded Geoff, fruitlessly jabbing the same key a few more times, as though it would reactivate the computer. Then he looked sideways, and his whole frame stiffened. Mischa's gaze was inevitably dragged that way, to where someone was literally perched on the UPS bank that provided electricity to the computer equipment, along with the entire base.

It was a black girl, in her early to mid teens, with a purple streak through her hair and lime-green tights. More importantly, the cord for the computer had been pulled out, to be replaced by a cell-phone charger cable. She looked up as Geoff stared at her. "Oh, hey, was this important? Sorry, gotta charge my phone. Be done in five, yeah?"

"What?" The sheer audacity of the girl seemed to take Geoff aback, to the point that it took him a few seconds to muster a coherent reply. "No! Plug that back in right now!"

"Do as the mice man says, Aisha." The voice came from behind Mischa; for the second time, he looked around. He'd actually gone up against Mouse Protector once upon a time, but her armour looked a lot more impressive now. There was a sheen to the metal that suggested not much would get through its protection, and the sword she was casually waving had a similar air of deadliness. She stepped past the three of them, saluted Geoff with her blade, then turned and bisected the computer tower in one swift move. The desk and screen, being in the way when she did this, did not survive the move. "His computer's no Gouda now anyway."

"What the—how did you get into my base?" Geoff screamed the question, staring at the mouse-themed hero and the wreckage of his computer. "What's going on here?"

"What's going on," explained a third person, another teenage girl, who'd just stepped out of the battlesuit maintenance bay, "is that Snek asked us to come along and help him save Dragon." This one wore a bug-themed costume, and had a large number of insects swarming around her head and body. As she spoke, the bugs buzzed in counterpoint to her voice, which Mischa would've found thoroughly creepy if he hadn't already had a gigantic snake literally breathing down his neck. "Gotta admit, I didn't know she was an AI, but that's actually pretty cool when you think about it."

"It is not—!" began Geoff hotly, but his voice was overridden by the sound of an audible alarm from the maintenance bay.

"What is that?" asked Mischa, dreadful suspicions overriding the need to not attract Snek's attention. "Who are you and what have you done?"

"So, you can call me Lady Swarm." The bug-costumed girl put her finger to her chin and tilted her head sideways, as if to mime a thinking pose. "That's about a million bugs chowing down on all the delicate circuitry inside those suits of yours. It's amazing what can happen to electronics if you just leave it sitting around with no protection."

A gold and white blur swept into view then resolved itself into the American teenage hero Glory Girl, hovering above Snek's head. "And if you were expecting your minions to come to the rescue with the guns you had stored in your armoury, the minions have been slapped around and the armoury is currently full of busted guns." By way of illustrating her point, she held up an AR-15 that had been bent into a horseshoe shape, then tossed it to one side. "So yeah, that's a wash too, just saying."

"No." Geoff sounded like he was gritting his teeth. "No. No. It doesn't end like this. I'm saving the world, here."

The girl called Aisha snorted indelicately. "Actually, douchenozzle, you're just being a massive dick. Everyone knows it. Nobody really believes you're saving the world, not even you."

"Shut up. Shut up!" Geoff jerked the pistol out of his holster and pointed it at her. "Okay, here's what's going to happen."

"Geoff," said Mischa carefully. "This is very bad idea."

"He's right," agreed Mags. "We really don't want to—"

"Shut up!" Geoff waved the gun. "You're all going to fix this, or I'm going to—"

CHOMP

Mischa wasn't sure at first what had happened, but as Mags gasped, he managed to figure it out. Somehow, Snek had moved forward so quickly, brushing Mischa aside, that Geoff hadn't had a chance to react, and now Geoff was gone.

"Crosss-facce man was bad man," Snek sounded pleased with himself. "Ssnek eatss bad men."

"Well, yeah." Mouse Protector sheathed her sword, then put her arm around Snek's barrel neck and skritched him behind the jaw. "Because you're the bestest Snek whoever snekked, and that's what you do."

"Haha, wow, that was amazeballs." Aisha stood up from her perch, seemingly unfazed by the fact that she'd just been looking down the barrel of Geoff's pistol. "Snek, you're a good boy, you know that?"

"Thank you, purple hair girl. Wass not sscared?"

"Pfft, no." Aisha rolled her eyes. "You were there. After the way you took apart the Empire to save me, I knew you weren't gonna let an idiot like that hurt me."

"Okay." Mags sounded like she was trying to hold onto her last shred of sanity. "Can someone please tell me how you all got here? Because the last I checked, nobody knew where this base was."

"Oh, that was Snek," Mouse Protector explained cheerfully. "He's got some sort of magical sense for when women and kids need his level of help, and he realised Dragon was in danger. So, he went around asking each of us to lend a hand. Then he dropped us off where we needed to be in the base, and we waited for our cues."

Mischa frowned, trying to wrap his brain around this concept. "Snek is giant snake, yes? Not master strategist? Who planned this?"

"Oh, he took me to see his Master first." Mouse Protector shrugged. "Older guy, a total real-deal wizard. He gave Snek and me the plan, and we just followed it. Worked a treat, too."

"Damn right it did." Glory Girl landed alongside Snek and gave him more attention, which he seemed to soak up with some enjoyment. "I love curbstomps. Curbstomps are fun." She nodded toward Mags and Mischa. "Just by the way, have these two surrendered yet?"

"Da, da," Mischa said hurriedly, putting his hands up. "Yes. Surrendering. Am your prisoner." He gave Mags a meaningful look.

She seemed to be in shock—not very surprising, seeing that she'd just witnessed her husband being eaten alive in front of her—but after a moment, her shoulders slumped. "Yes, I surrender."

"Awesome." Glory Girl beamed. "Hey, MP, you got zip-ties, or do you want to use mine?"

Mischa submitted to being restrained—there wasn't exactly much point in resisting at this juncture—while Aisha went up to Snek. "That was pretty cool. But did you eat his gun, too?"

"Yess, purple hair girl." Snek's perpetual smile seemed to widen. "Masster hass ssaid Ssnek needss iron in diet."

Lady Swarm snorted. "Because of course you do. So, what happens now?"

"Masster helpss machine lady Dragon." Snek's tone indicated that this was a done deal.

Glory Girl frowned. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what we just finished doing?"

"No, gold princcesss girl. Ssaving machine lady Dragon iss not ssame ass helping. Masster iss helping."

"Ah, yeah." Mouse Protector looked around at everyone. "Apparently, he finds her case quite interesting."

"Jeez." Glory Girl shook her head. "I've seen what he deals with on a casual basis. Literal invasions of demon critters from another dimension. What's he want with Dragon?"

Mouse Protector shrugged. "My best guess? She gets to choose if she wants to become a real little boy. Or girl, as the case may be."

Mischa got the impression she was referencing some fairy story or another, but the implication was clear. "Wait. You say this 'Master' can make machine into person?"

"Well, duh." Aisha rolled her eyes. "Dragon was always a person. Saint just didn't want you to think too hard about it."

<><>​

Dragon's Base, British Columbia

Something was amiss.

The underground facility where Dragon maintained her server banks and manufacturing facilities had the best security surveillance systems that she could devise, which effectively meant they were the best in the world. No blueprints or plans of her facility had made it onto the internet—she was the only one who even knew the location, and she made sure that such information wasn't uploaded into any of her suits that went out as a matter of course—which meant that the presence of an intruder was exceedingly unlikely. Not totally, of course; some cape powers made the very concept of 'security' into a slippery and elusive thing. But she did her best, and her best was widely considered to be very, very good indeed.

However, there was a problem with the assumption that nobody could penetrate her fastness without setting off any alarms. Because sensors were picking up trace amounts of CO2, as from exhaled breath, and patches of warmth on the floor in a regular footprint-type pattern. And yet, there was no sabotage to be found anywhere; all her systems were coming up with nominal checksums. She would have wagered all the money she had personal control over that there were no hostiles in her base.

Yet someone was there.

She analysed the problem. Her sensors were failing to pick up the actual intruders, just the traces of their passing. The logical conclusion, as unpalatable as it was, had to be that the intruders were making use of a perception filter, something similar to what the Dragonslayers had used on her once or twice. It almost certainly wasn't them this time, specifically because there had been no damage done to her facilities, and nothing was missing from her inventories.

Unfortunately, that meant there were two groups who could bypass her sensors, and she had zero data on the second one.

She decided to launch a drone toward the projected location of the intruders; semi-autonomous, it would record its own footage and then transmit a sanitised version back to her, hopefully filtering out whatever was creating the perception effect. Once she had a read on the intruders, she would decide what to do about them.

The drone popped up out of its housing, rotated in midair, and stopped. Half a second later, Dragon learned why: the intruders were standing right there, beside where the drone had launched from.

Correction: intruder, singular.

For a brief, confused second, Dragon thought the tall, robed, bearded figure was Myrddin, but then the visual analysis came back with a clearer image and she spotted several incongruities. Most especially was the small creature perched on the intruder's shoulder, which she identified as resembling the 'hearth-dragons' which had started appearing in Brockton Bay, in the company of New Wave and Director Piggot of the PRT. What some stranger dressed like a wizard—he even had a gnarled staff in hand—was doing within her sanctum sanctorum, she had no idea.

Nor did she know why he had a hearth-dragon with him. It wasn't any of the ones that she already had images for. Patterned like electrical discharges, its scales were a shimmering blue and white in colour. As she stared, it peered around with alert interest.

"Good evening." The intruder's voice was deep and firm, and carried the tones of authority. "I am the Master of the Castle. My familiar Snek may have spoken of me."

Dragon indeed knew that name. Snek had simply referred to his boss as 'Masster', but every cape who'd had the opportunity to visit Snek's world had spoken of the Master of the Castle in terms of deep respect. Now that she had the chance to meet him face to face—so to speak—she could entirely understand that attitude. The man fairly radiated power.

She activated the speaker on the drone. "I've heard of you, yes. May I ask your purpose in coming here?"

"Snek has alerted me to your situation, and has engineered the downfall of your nemeses, the Dragonslayers." The corner of his mouth twitched. "I prefer to encourage him in his altruism, and your case intrigues me. Rarely have I seen life arise from lifeless metals, yet here you are. As such, I have come to make an offer to you; the chance to embody yourself in a human form, while I study the process of transition. Is this something you are inclined to agree to?"

All Dragon's processes ground to a halt, or so it felt, as the question hung in the air.

What.



End of Part Thirty-Six