Snek is a Good Boy [a Worm Crackfic]

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-One: Home Is Where the Heart Is

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]


Sveta, Later

Sunlight danced on the waves, and the sails billowed gently. The boat left a ruler-straight wake with Karol's steady hand at the tiller. Bron, at the bow, shaded his eyes and scanned the water ahead while Sveta kept the sails trimmed.

"Can you see anything?" Karol called forward. "Should we cast the nets here, or keep going?"

"Nothing. I see nothing." Bron huffed in irritation. "Where could they be?"

Esmerelda erupted from the water alongside the boat and circled Sveta once before landing on her shoulder. Sveta had known she was coming, and reached up to caress her neck as she furled her wings. "There's fish down there," she informed both men. They could tell it was true, because Esmerelda had one in her mouth.

"Well, that's a start." Karol nodded to her, and she paid off the line to let wind spill from the mainsail. "Can your clever little beast tell us where?"

"She knows they're down there, and there's a lot of them, but compass directions aren't really her thing." Sveta urged Esmerelda off her shoulder; without demur, the hearth-dragon took to the air once more, swallowing the fish at the same time. Balancing easily, she pulled off her shirt and stepped out of her trousers. Underneath this clothing, she wore a one-piece made of some water-resistant material she was unfamiliar with, but which had enough give in it to make for a reasonable wetsuit. "I'll go have a look."

Bron shook his head as she prepared to go over the side. "I will never be used to this."

She grinned at him, then dived in. Esmerelda followed, the little dragon piercing the water as easily as she had. Beneath the waves, Esmerelda folded her wings in tight and undulated along at a frankly impressive speed. Sveta wasn't quite as fast or agile, but she was still far better than any merely human swimmer. As an added bonus, she could breathe the water as easily as she could the air above, and her eyes automatically adapted once she was submerged so she could see clearly, even into the darker depths.

Esmerelda—Sveta called her that because she was greenish and the name appealed to both of them—let out a drumming chirp that reverberated through the water, then led the way off to the side. She was very pleased with herself, which was understandable once Sveta saw the massive school of fish ahead of them. Normally there would've been some activity on the surface, but this lot were deeper than normal, which was why Bron had seen nothing.

Got it. Back to the boat. While the words didn't transmit directly over their bond, the intent was clear enough, and Esmerelda fell in beside her as they returned to the small craft. Sveta was deeply in tune with her, to the extent that she knew Esmerelda would be stealing at least one fish from their catch on the way back to the harbour. Karol and Bron had never argued her right to do so, and Sveta didn't think they were about to start.

Unlike Esmerelda, she couldn't jump a body-length out of the water on sheer speed, but she could come mostly out and, with a hand on the gunwale, vault into the boat in a shower of spray. This she did, landing on her feet and steadying herself into a crouch. Esmerelda landed next to Sveta and shook salt water off her wings.

"You have returned," Karol greeted her imperturbably. "That was fast. Have you found the fish already?"

"I have," she confirmed, and pointed. "That way, perhaps five hundred feet. It's a big school. We'll have to put the nets deep."

As Karol turned the rudder and the boat heeled onto the new course, Bron whooped with excitement. "See, brother? I told you she would be good luck to bring along!"

"You told me?" Karol laughed out loud. "Brother, you didn't say a word. I was the one who welcomed her aboard!"

Sveta tuned them out as she skimmed the water off her one-piece and re-donned her fishing clothes. Esmerelda was gliding alongside the boat as she finished, sharp eyes watching the ocean ahead. While Karol steered, Bron came back to where the nets were prepared, and Sveta worked with him to cast them to port and starboard. She knew the moment when the nets found the school, as the boat actually seemed to stagger in the water from the weight of fish they'd encountered.

And then they were laughing with the exhilaration as she took Karol's place at the tiller, while he and Bron worked to heave their catch on board. As the first fish, silvery and flopping, slithered into the bottom of the boat, she knew this would be a good day, a good catch.

<><>​

Elmora Reborn

"So you think she's really from Bet?" asked Krouse. Reaching across, he squeezed Noelle's hand, and she returned the gesture. "It's a bit of a reach, don't you think? A fishing village in the middle of nowhere?"

Elmora shrugged. "I don't know what else she could be. You'd only get the name 'Reborn' from one place, right? So, I want to know. See where she fits in. Hell, she might even be someone I knew, back when."

"What if she doesn't want a reminder of where she came from?" asked Marissa. Still learning the trade of magic, she'd found in herself an affinity for fire-based spells, which discovery had caused half her teammates to facepalm and the other half to fall about laughing. "Ending up here is pretty well a guarantee of a shitty life story."

"Also," offered Oliver, "she might not even be from Bet. We all saw how many worlds the Master of the Castle watches over."

"In a phrase," Jess snarked, "far too many."

Noelle shrugged. "Well, we're here now. May as well see how it plays out." She shaded her eyes and looked out over the harbour and the ocean beyond. "Did they say when the fishing boats were due back in?"

"Dusk, at the very latest," Paige said. "I checked. They come back earlier if they've had a really good catch, but otherwise they try to hold off until just before last light." She plucked at the strings of her instrument, a simple tune. Glowing motes drifted upward, then dissolved in the afternoon breeze.

At that moment, Ranger looked around from his perch on Noelle's shoulder, and stared out to sea. The green hearth-dragon had accompanied her, as far as Elmora knew, from the Travellers' earliest days on the Master's world, and had proven his worth a hundred times over. He let out an authoritative chirp, causing Noelle to tilt her head and reach up to stroke his neck.

"She's coming back in now, I think. Nobody else here has a hearth-dragon, and he says there's one on the way."

Elmora eyed Ranger appreciatively. "That's useful to know." While she would've liked to have bonded with a hearth-dragon herself—they liked her well enough, and she them—she'd never found herself clicking with one on an emotional level. She suspected this was at least in part due to the fact that she was still basically an asshole, and not truly interested in changing her ways.

They headed out onto the dock and watched the boat come in; riding low in the water, it was sluggish to respond to the sails and rudder, but the crew were clearly skilled enough to handle it. As it got closer, the call went out and people started heading down to the dock. At Noelle's unspoken gesture, the Travellers stepped aside and let them get along with it.

"Sveta and Esmerelda steered us right onto a huge school!" called out the burly man at the tiller. "If we'd filled the nets any fuller, we would've been swimming home!"

As the laughing, chattering villagers began moving the catch from the boat into large tubs they'd brought down onto the dock, the woman stepped onto the dock and looked around. Elmora knew the moment when the blue-green hearth-dragon on Sveta's shoulder spotted Ranger, because they both took flight and headed for each other. It looked for a moment like they were going to clash, but instead they flew in a spiral pattern around each other, chirping and squawking happily.

Sveta moved toward them with the rolling stride of someone used to the rock and sway of a small boat. "Hello," she said politely. "You have a nice hearth-dragon."

"So do you," Noelle said. "Noelle Meinhardt, of the Travellers. Maybe you've heard of us?"

"Not as such, no." Sveta tilted her head slightly. "Though with that name, I bet you're not from around here." Whatever magic it was that allowed them to speak the local language fluently, also made them hear the words in English.

Elmora chuckled and stepped forward to hold out her hand. "I see what you did there. Elmora Reborn, once of New York City, trying to live down a ton of bad decisions I made back in the day."

"Well, my major life-changing decisions were mostly made for me, but I was still in a bad way when Snek brought me here." Sveta's grip was firm, with a calloused palm that was evidently no stranger to hard work. "Sveta, also Reborn. They used to call me Garotte. Case fifty-three."

"Been there, done that," Noelle agreed. "I never got a cape name, but bad decisions led to bad things happening. And wow, you never actually heard of the Travellers? I think you just made Krouse pout."

"I am not pouting," Krouse protested, apparently more by reflex than anything else. "I just thought, you know, we were more well-known than that."

"We deliberately kept our heads down so we wouldn't draw more attention than we could handle," Jess reminded him. We didn't want people to hear about us."

"Mainly due to me," concluded Noelle. "So, are you free right now to stop and chat, or do they need your help in unloading the boat?"

Sveta glanced over her shoulder. "Looks like they've got enough hands on the job at the moment. We'll likely be heading out again in an hour or so, once the guys have cleared the boat out and we've had something to eat. So, what's your hearth-dragon's name?"

"Oh, I called him Ranger, after the woodland class in Ransack," Noelle explained as they started off the dock, back toward the village. "I know it never got as big in Bet as it did in Aleph, but did you ever play it?"

"That's where you're from? Huh." Sveta shook her head. "No, I played a game called Space Opera. Badly." She held up her hands and wiggled her fingers. "I was kind of lacking these at the time. Just a bunch of murder-tentacles."

Elmora grinned. "Actually, I think I do remember you. You're a bit taller than the last time I saw you."

Paige rolled her eyes and elbowed Elmora in the ribs. "Be nice. We're none of us who we were back then. Everyone's made a fresh start, and we're doing the best we can."

"It's fine." Sveta looked up at where Esmerelda was taking Ranger on what looked like a high-speed tour of the whole village. "Since I met Esmerelda, I've been able to accept what I did and what I was, and move on from everything without collapsing under the guilt." She glanced over at Noelle. "So, what does your bond with Ranger do for you? Esmerelda's an Ocean strain, so she's entirely at home in the water, to the point that she can breathe it, and so can I."

Noelle smiled fondly as she watched the darker green hearth-dragon darting after the ocean-foam one. "Ranger's a Forest strain. Once we get into the greenery, we can totally vanish. It's thoroughly useful in our line of business."

"Your line of business?" Sveta led them into what appeared to be the village tavern. "Gretz, pour us some drinks, please. These are new friends of mine."

The age-bent man behind the counter looked up and smiled. "Friend o' yours is a friend o' ours, Sveta girl. I hear you brought in another bumper catch just the now?"

"We did, yes." She ducked her head modestly. "Though it was more Esmerelda's doing than mine."

"And if you were not here, nor would be the wee dragon," Gretz reminded her. "Sit y'selves down. I'll have your drinks and eats out momentarily."

From the tone of Sveta's voice, she knew enough not to argue. "Thank you, Gretz." She gestured to a table. "Let's sit, and you can tell me about what you do for a living, and what's been happening in the wider world."

"You know, you can come with us when we go," offered Noelle.

Sveta shook her head. "No, I'm happy here. This is what I like doing. This is where I belong."

<><>​

Snek

Snek is resting on winding-post when Master magic says people need help on Mouse world. Snek unwinds from winding-post and opens wriggle-hole. When Snek goes through, is in village like sharp-tooth lizards have, but humans here instead.

Snek sees people who need help. Is old and young people, standing in front of shadow-Snek that has bone crocodile skull for head. Snek think scales better for head, and nice hat on top, like Snek got from nice hat lady. Master magic tells Snek that shadow-Snek wants to eat old people and children.

Snek does not like that. Master has told Snek to not hurt children. Old people who have not done bad things should not be hurt either. Shadow-Snek wants to do a bad thing.

Snek wriggles forward and raises head. "Iss bad to eat children," he says to shadow-Snek.

Shadow-Snek does not speak to Snek. Then Snek sees lady near shadow-Snek. Lady speaks, and Master magic tells Snek what she says. "What the hell is that? Where did it come from?"

"Snek iss Snek," Snek says in words she will understand. "Ssnek came from Masster world. Bad wordss lady sshould not ssay bad wordss."

"I'm not 'bad words lady!" she shouts. "I am Murder Night, and you will die!"

Snek does not understand name 'Murder Night'. Snek understands name 'bad words lady'. It means lady who uses bad words. Bad words lady wants shadow-Snek to eat children. Bad words lady is bad person.

Shadow-Snek moves toward Snek, skull jaws open. Crocodile skull has many sharp teeth, more than Snek can count.

Snek has sharp teeth too, but Snek does not want to bite. Shadow-Snek might be friend if Snek can stop bad words lady. Snek wraps body around shadow-Snek instead. Snek is very strong.

Shadow-Snek cold to touch, like demon curse. Master has shielded Snek with magic to stop demon curse from draining life from body. Shadow-Snek is trying to drain Snek life. Snek does not want this, so he squeezes shadow-Snek with body.

"Stop that thing, Scavenger!" shouts bad words lady. "Kill it! Eat it!"

"Ssnek iss not 'thing', bad wordss lady," Snek says. "Ssnek iss Ssnek." Snek had thought this was already explained. Bad words lady is also bad listener.

Also, Scavenger is bad name for shadow-Snek. Snek does not like it.

Shadow-Snek keeps trying to drain Snek life. Master protection magic is protecting Snek, but very cold. Snek not like cold. Snek squeezes shadow-Snek harder, to force shadow-Snek to give up.

<><>​

Moord Nag

Wherever this giant talking snake had come from, it was giving Aasdier distinct problems. Nothing she had ever encountered before had stood up to her Scavenger's power, but no matter how the giant shadowy form strove against the scaled body, the snake seemed to be winning. Lou didn't like this in the slightest, but she had an ace up the sleeve she wasn't wearing.

Aasdier discorporated, then reformed next to her, this time sporting a giant eagle skull. She watched as the snake—she was never going to refer to it by that stupid name—looked around for its adversary, then fixed on her and Aasdier once more. Her lip curled as it gave her a reproachful look.

"Sshould not hurt children, bad wordss lady," the snake said chidingly.

The sheer effrontery of the thing sent a wash of anger through her. She was the one, with Aasdier's help, who had carved out her territory, and kept all rivals at bay. Telling her that she had no right to do what she wanted in her domain? "No beast gives me orders. My Aasdier will kill you eventually, and take your power."

Yet it still did not yield to her authority. "Sshadow-Ssnek iss bad wordss lady familiar? Ssnek doess not want to kill another Ssnek."

She had little idea what it was prattling about, but the naïve desire not to kill gave her some dark amusement. Killing was what the powerful did, and the weak submitted to. "You cannot kill Scavenger, you stupid creature. He is me, and I am him." It was only true. She and Aasdier were bonded together, deeper than life itself.

<><>​

Snek

Snek thinks about that. Bad words lady makes shadow-Snek. Snek knows what to do now.

If Snek puts bad words lady in no-eat place, he can take her to Master. Master will fix, like with all other bad people with powers from Mouse world. That is easy part. Hard part will be getting bad words lady into no-eat place, because shadow-Snek is between Snek and bad words lady.

<><>​

Moord Nag

In the next second, Lou wondered briefly if she hadn't overstepped, as the thing came for her, massively fanged jaws agape. It tried to duck around Aasdier, but her partner and protector reacted before she really even recognised the danger, interposing himself and knocking the monster snake aside. Opening his beak, he tried to sink it into the snake's scaled hide, but its head whipped around and its jaws closed on the outside of the beak, forcing it closed.

As a follow-up, the gargantuan reptile again entwined its powerful body around Aasdier's. It clearly hadn't learned a thing, as once again, as soon as the pressure became too great, Aasdier vanished. In that instant, the snake launched itself toward her, jaws once more agape, but Aasdier proved himself equal to the task. Sword-like razor fangs slashed into his body, but there was nothing to take away, and Aasdier simply melted from between its jaws.

It tried something new then, creating a circular portal in front of its head and the other one next to her. Again, Aasdier was up to the task, pushing her aside before the snake could get its fangs into her. With each new failed attempt, she felt her confidence growing; all Aasdier had to do was weaken it far enough, and then its power would truly be hers.

When it tried yet again to wrap its body around Aasdier's and dominate him in that way, she almost sneered dismissively, then rethought her position. The last time she'd dismissed its attempts, it had almost gotten to her. Responding to her thoughts, Aasdier twisted around to bit it, forcing it to use its jaws to protect itself, and thus ensuring that it couldn't reach for her instead.

That was when the stunning impact came from behind. She found herself ragdolling through the air with no idea what had happened. Aasdier discorporated to protect her, then a portal opened right in front of her.

On the other side … was teeth.

<><>​

Snek

Then Snek has idea. Snek puts wriggle-hole next to tail, puts tail through. Tail comes out behind bad words lady, smacks her. Bad words lady is coming straight toward Snek's head. Shadow-Snek goes to smoke, but Snek opens another wriggle-hole, puts head through, and catches bad words lady. Shadow-Snek forms next to Snek, big-tooth lizard skull open, ready to bite Snek's neck.

Snek puts bad words lady in no-eat place. Shadow-Snek goes away, does not come back.

Snek is very happy. Master will be pleased. Bad words lady has what Master will call 'interesting' power.

Playing with shadow-Snek was fun!

<><>

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GStringGirl
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Are you okay?

Hi. Sorry to bother you, but you haven't been on for a while and I just wanted to make sure everything was alright with you.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: GStringGirl

Hi, Greg. Apologies for butting in on your PMs, but GSG is no longer online. (I'm a friend of hers). She was in a bad situation where she was (sorry, can't give more details because privacy and stuff), but she's a whole lot happier where she is now. Here's a [pic].

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: GStringGirl

Uh, thanks for letting me know. That's a pretty wild picture. She looks happy. Is that a sailboat in the background? And is that really a hearth-dragon on her shoulder? I thought only New Wave had those? Who else is getting one?

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Yes, that's a sailboat. A fishing boat, to be exact. And yes, she does have a hearth-dragon. As for only New Wave having hearth-dragons, that's not exactly true. I've got two looking over my shoulder right now. I'm expecting them to start using the computer to look up funny cat videos any day now, if the boss lets them.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

You've got TWO hearth-dragons bonded to you? How did you manage that? Did you visit Snek's world?

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

No, I'm not bonded to either one of them. You can only bond to one hearth-dragon ever. But there's a few that hang around here. They're good company, even if they do play pranks on me and each other whenever they feel like it.

Yeah, I did visit Snek's world. It's a nice place.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Can I ask where you are that hearth-dragons just hang around? Or is it a secret?

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Not really. I already told you where I was.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

No you didn't. You just said that you visited Snek's world.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Oh.

I get it.

Is that where GSG is too?

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Bingo (on both counts).

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: GoodGirlRiley
From: XxVoid_CowboyxX
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

Oh, wow.

Um, is there any chance I could maybe visit? I missed the last New Wave meet & greet with their hearth-dragons, and everyone who went is all over the internet talking about how cute they are, and showing off selfies, including the ones by Snap.

Also, maybe visit GSG if she's okay with that. Just to, you know, say hi and see how she's going.

■​

PRIVATE MESSAGE
To: XxVoid_CowboyxX
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: GStringGirl

We shall see. No promises.

■​

End of Part Thirty-One

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-Two: Snek Shenanigans

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]



The Wizard's Apprentice

Riley was watching the boss deal with a minor incursion a century or so over along the tau axis, disguising the annihilation of the extradimensional intruders by making it look as though they'd been killed off by way of local disease vectors, when something got his attention. Raising his head slightly, he turned to her. "Kindly institute level two precautions at once. I should be finished here in short order, but Snek will be arriving before that happens, and he brings with him another one of the more intriguing parasites: one that could disarrange the equipment in this area if it is allowed to do so."

"On it, boss." Riley still wasn't up to casting even the simplest spells on her own, but she'd been instructed in how to activate the magically-infused equipment. This included the containment jars for the power-granting parasites from Bet, the teleporting doorways, all the kitchenware, and the protection wards for the work-room.

Trotting over toward where the bronze plaque was set into the wall, she laid her hand on it and concentrated on a phrase in one of the several languages she was currently learning. The plaque began to glow, and she felt the receptive query of the spell within. In response, she focused on the concept of the level-two wards until the glow of the plaque altered.

As she took her hand away from the plaque, she felt rather than saw the wards begin to engage, fields of near-impervious (and nigh-invisible) force fading into existence. One by one, each piece of apparatus and each shelf was thus protected, taking on a subtle golden sheen. Even her goggles glowed briefly, then generated a protective field around her.

Just about the time the last field powered into action, three familiar knocks sounded from the main door of the work-room. "Enter, Snek," the boss called out without looking up from his task. "A containment sphere has been arranged for your guest. Kindly place her within. I shall be with you in a moment."

The door opened, and Snek slithered into the work-room. "Thank you, Masster," he said politely. "Bad wordss lady hass a sshadow-Ssnek. May Ssnek have it?"

"A shadow-Snek?" Riley took a couple of steps closer. "Okay, this I gotta see."

"Ssnek will assk if bad wordss lady will let it come out and play." The giant snake's jaws gaped wide, his multi-branching tongue reaching back into the interdimensional space that had been incorporated into his throat. Wriggling closer to the shimmering sphere, he pulled a woman into view.

She was suffering from the usual level of stunned shock that afflicted people who had been involuntarily stuffed into Snek's 'not-eat place', but even as he shoved her into the containment sphere, her power activated anyway. Riley recognised her as Moord Nag almost immediately; not many people had access to a giant shadowy snake sporting a horse skull (or any other kind of skull) for a head. Jack had once expressed disappointment that the African warlord was an ocean away, rather than being where he could recruit her to the Nine.

Much more of interest was the fact that while she was inside the sphere, the shadowy snake—the shadow-Snek—was outside it. Rampaging outside, to be more specific. Slamming into the walls, the shelves and the heretofore delicate apparatus, it seemed to be getting more and more frustrated when nothing it did had any effect.

Finally, it charged at Riley herself with jaws wide open. She stood firm, grabbing a chair to brace herself and letting it clamp its teeth down on her arm. The golden sheen stopped it dead; all she felt was a mild pressure and tugging as it attempted to drag her off her feet and gnaw on her arm.

"Bad sshadow-Ssnek! Sshadow-Ssnek sshould not hurt Riley!" Snek left Moord Nag to her own devices within the containment sphere and launched himself at the shadowy projection. His fangs latched onto the 'neck' of the shadowy creature, and his body flexed as he hauled the thing off Riley. It tried to hold on, but horse teeth do not have a great deal of traction, and she wasn't going anywhere she didn't want to. Bereft of her arm, the teeth clashed together, then it writhed and lashed out (to no avail whatsoever) as Snek dragged it backwards.

Apparently seeking to hurt someone, its tail whipped around toward where the Master of the Castle was finalising his work in ending the invasion that was going on elsewhere and elsewhen. Riley opened her mouth to shout a warning, but the creature's appendage got there first. It struck … and a good third of the length of the creature evaporated in a puff of shadow.

"And that will be enough of that." The boss closed down the scrying globe he'd been using, looked over at where the shadow-Snek had recoiled from the impact, and gestured briefly. A second containment sphere formed, sucking the projection into it. Snek opened his jaws right on cue, releasing it. Moments later, it was as trapped as its mistress.

"That was actually fairly impressive," Riley admitted. "Though back on Bet, the Aasdier—the Scavenger—projection could suck out life force and power up that way."

"Ssnek felt sshadow-Ssnek trying to do that." Snek peered at the containment spheres. "Masster magic too sstrong."

"Though their progenitors lack imagination, the parasites themselves are impressively creative." The boss took up his staff; it flared briefly, and the golden sheen faded away as the wards were dispelled. "This one may warrant further study."

The giant snake raised his head and spoke diffidently. "Ssnek wonderss if Masster could let Ssnek play with sshadow-Ssnek, not put in little jar."

"Really?" One shaggy eyebrow rose.

"Yess, Masster. Ssnek likess playing with sshadow-Ssnek. Iss fun."

"Hm." The boss stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Well, then. I cannot promise anything, Snek, but I shall see what I can do."

"Thank you, Masster."

This, Riley decided, was definitely going to be interesting.

<><>​

Shoreham Fishing Village

The Next Morning

It's going to be a good day out on the water, Sveta decided as she stepped out her front door. There were a few clouds around, illuminated by the yet-to-rise sun, but none of the high wispy ones that presaged a storm. Raising her arm without looking, she braced herself for the weight of Esmerelda as the hearth-dragon came in for a neat landing on her forearm.

"There you are," she said fondly as she gathered her dearest companion into a cuddle. "You were out all night with Ranger, you naughty girl. I hope you enjoyed yourself."

Esmerelda chirped happily as she rubbed her head alongside Sveta's jawline. While hearth-dragons were nonverbal, the impression Sveta got was along the gist of 'why yes, I enjoyed myself very much indeed, thank you'. From the smug look Esmerelda had about her (for some reason, they were past masters at doing 'smug') the two hearth-dragons had definitely made the most of their time together.

"Good, good." Sveta gave Esmerelda a skritch behind her wings, causing the little dragon to arch her back and rumble with pleasure. "We're going to be out on the boat all day. I hope you're able to handle that."

In response, Esmerelda let her head loll back and began emitting lifelike snores, her tongue hanging artistically out the side of her mouth. Sveta could only laugh and shake her head. The more time they spent together, the more they connected on every emotional and mental level it was possible to connect on.

"Good morning!" The voice was bright and energetic. Sveta and Esmerelda both looked around; Paige had just emerged from the side door of the tavern, looking unreasonably fresh for someone who had been playing and singing until the wee hours of the morning. The tavern only boasted half a dozen rooms, but neither the Travellers nor Gretz had complained. Their gold spent well and they were polite and friendly to all, which made them doubly welcome.

Overall, it had been a very pleasant evening, one that many of the fisherfolk would be talking about for months or years to come. Given that the Travellers had come to Shoreham specifically to see Sveta, this was another point in her favour as being lucky, thus raising her standing even further among the villagers. And if anyone took it amiss that she'd spent some time talking to them and sharing various experiences from back on Bet, nobody was saying a word about it.

"Good morning to you as well," she responded, and went over to give Paige a hug. Esmerelda moved up onto her shoulder in the process, and Paige gave the hearth-dragon a caress as well. "I take it you'll be moving along today?"

"That's the plan, yes." Paige responded to Esmerelda's querying chirp by holding out her hands and catching her as the hearth-dragon jumped into them. "Noelle's heard of some prime bounties farther south, so she wants to find out more before we jump in on them."

Sveta smiled as she watched Esmerelda snuggling into Paige's arms. "That's probably a good idea. It would be all too easy to assume you're tough enough to take on any comers, and get your butt handed to you."

Paige chuckled, her fingers gently smoothing out Esmerelda's wings in a way that told Sveta she was familiar with what they liked. "From what the others have told me, they've got plenty of experience with that sort of thing. Francis was the leader for the longest time while Noelle was suffering from what her powers did to her, and by all accounts—including his own—he sucked at it."

"I'm guessing she's better at it." Sveta nodded to Elmora, who had emerged from the tavern in Paige's wake. "Morning. Did you have a good time last night?"

"Surely did." Elmora stretched, working her neck and shoulders and back to elicit a series of cracking and popping noises. "Your people know how to party when they want to."

Paige snorted. "From the amount you were drinking, I'm surprised you aren't asleep under a table somewhere."

"Oh, hon." Elmora grinned crookedly, pinching Paige's cheek. "I used to drink like this on a weekly basis. Just because I'm not super durable anymore doesn't mean I can't hold my booze."

"Well, you can definitely do that," agreed Sveta. She gestured at the dock, where the boats were tied up. "As soon as everyone's up, we're going to ready the boats and sail on the ebb tide."

"You're really into the whole fishing life, aren't you?" Paige opened her hands and Esmerelda spread her wings, leaping and gliding back to Sveta. Elmora stepped up behind Paige and put her arms around the musician, resting her chin on top of Paige's head. Paige laced her fingers through Elmora's, leaning back into the archer's embrace.

"I am." Sveta gathered the hearth-dragon to her. "I spent so much time looking at the world through a keyhole with only fragmentary dreams for company. When the Master of the Castle pulled back the veil and reversed what had been done to me, I remembered my previous life. This isn't identical, but it's close enough that I don't care. And every day, I can look at the sky and breathe free air."

Elmora snorted with amusement. "And I guess it doesn't hurt that you're basically their walking, talking good luck charm."

"I didn't ask to be." Trying not to feel defensive, Sveta stroked the side of Esmerelda's neck, and got a soothing croon in response. "I bonded with her fair and square."

"Chill, chill." Elmora chuckled. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. Whatever you've got, you've earned. No, I was just gonna mention that when Esmerelda has her kids, there's gonna be hearth-dragons all over the village, and people are gonna love you more than ever."

"… kids?" Paige's eyes opened wide. "Wait, Esmerelda's pregnant?"

Elmora rubbed her cheek alongside Paige's. "Don't ever change, sweetheart. If she ain't up the duff after her and Ranger did the nasty all night, there's either something wrong with her or something wrong with him. And knowing the Master of the Castle, you think he'd let something like that fly, pun totally intended?"

Sveta tilted her head. "… no, I can't see it. Huh. I knew she was getting it on with Ranger, but I figured it was their business. Didn't think about kids."

"What do you think they'll be, anyway?" asked Paige. "Ocean like Esmerelda, or Forest like Ranger?"

"Little bit of column A, little bit of column B?" suggested Elmora.

Sveta shook her head. "I actually talked to Riley about this, after I started bonding with Esmerelda. What offspring a hearth-dragon has is partly determined by genetics and partly by magic. So it's twenty-five percent chance of the father's strain, twenty-five per cent of the mother's strain, and fifty per cent chance that it's any one of the other strains. Some strains show up more rarely than others, but it's impossible to breed any of them out, because the potential exists in all of them. Or at least, that's how she explained it."

"And given that she used to be Bonesaw," Paige said thoughtfully, "I wouldn't argue about anything like that with her."

Elmora rolled her eyes. "Because of course there's magic involved in their breeding cycle. Why the hell should that be left out of things?"

Sveta grinned. "It certainly keeps life interesting around here, doesn't it?"

"It does," agreed Paige. "So, how's it feel, now that you're going to be a grandma?"

Sveta considered that for a moment. "Different," she said eventually. "One day I might even be one for real. But this'll do for the moment." There was a hail from down by the docks and she looked over to see Bron and Karol waving to her. "Whoops, duty calls."

"Duty, hah." Elmora grinned at her. "You love it, and you know it."

"True." She let Esmerelda take flight, then gave Paige another quick hug that included Elmora as well. "Take care. Tell the others I said thanks for visiting, and I truly enjoyed meeting you all. And come back sometime, please."

"We'll tell them," Paige promised, returning the hug. "Take care yourself."

"I promise." Sveta turned and headed down the slope toward where the boat, and her crewmates, waited. Esmerelda glided overhead, arrowing in on one particular set of rigging.

It had been nice to meet other people from Bet and catch up, but already she was putting the visit to the back of her mind. As she'd said earlier, this was her life now, and she was good at it.

"Good morn to you," Karol greeted her as she stepped on board; Esmerelda was already perched on the tiller. "See your friends off well enough?"

"Well enough," she agreed. "They'll be gone by the time we're back. It was nice meeting them, though."

As the boat moved away from the dock, urged by Karol's oar, Bron stepped on board with the stern line in his hands. "It was all of that," he said. "And the coin they spent will go a long way, too."

"It will, brother. It will."

Then the sails began to fill and the boat gained way, and no more mention was made of the Travellers.

<><>​

Panacea

"Hey, Ames, you have to see this!"

As Vicky darted into the living room, her feet inches above the floor, Amy looked up from the book she was reading. Twilight, who had been dozing while draped along the back of the sofa, raised her head as well with an interrogatory chirp. "What?"

Vicky grinned and held out her phone. "Director Piggot's been doing her research on the hearth-dragons. Check it out."

That actually sounded more than a little ominous, but Vicky's upbeat expression gave her hope it wouldn't be that bad. "So what is it, exactly?"

"She put out a general order. Required reading for everyone, including Protectorate and affiliated capes. That's us. You've probably got one on your phone too."

"Gimme a second." Amy pulled out her own phone and accessed her emails. Sure enough, the one at the top had a PRT header. She hesitated, then tapped it. The email unfolded into an official-looking communication. With Twilight looking over her shoulder, she began to read.

PARAHUMAN RESPONSE TEAMS GENERAL ORDER

EAST-NORTH-EAST DEPARTMENT

DATE: 06/12/11

CLEARANCE: OPEN

REQUIRED READING: ALL PERSONNEL

SUBJECT: HEARTH-DRAGONS

It has come to the attention of the office of the Director that there are no fewer than three of the scientifically anomalous creatures termed 'hearth-dragons' within the city, in the company of New Wave. These creatures have an established connection to the creature known as 'Snek' (see relevant file): the best analysis available to this office indicates that they originate from the same world.

Given a) this connection, and b) that all three hearth-dragons are closely associated with New Wave capes, and c) they have appeared in public alongside said heroes, the following orders are in place for all PRT personnel, Protectorate personnel, and affiliated capes and contractors.

• Hearth-dragons are to be treated as friendly, intelligent allies whenever encountered.
• If you encounter a hearth-dragon that appears to be in distress, make every effort to determine why, and to remedy the situation. Contact their human affiliates as soon as possible.
• While hearth-dragons are nonverbal, they are highly empathetic and appear to have a working comprehension of the English language. Even if they don't understand what you say, keep in mind that they will understand what you mean.

It is not beyond the realms of probability that more hearth-dragons will end up on Earth Bet. Unless otherwise specified, the above orders will also apply to those.

Signed,

Director Emily Piggot

PRT ENE

Click to shrink...

Amy skimmed it to get the gist, then carefully read it all the way through to make sure she hadn't missed anything important. Finally, she looked up at Vicky. "Wow. I'm actually impressed."

"I know, right?" Vicky reached over and scratched the back of Twilight's neck, eliciting a croon of enjoyment. "It's like they suddenly had an attack of common sense."

Amy cradled her arms just as Twilight chose to slide down off the back of the sofa into her embrace. "I think you'll find it's a lot simpler than that. Look at point A. They come from Snek's world, and the PRT really doesn't want to upset the big goofy snake who's already eaten two Endbringers, plus a whole bunch of other assholes. I mean, would you risk pissing him off?"

"Not on my best day," Vicky declared with finality. "I'm good, but nobody's that good."

"Thus proving that you're smarter than the Simurgh." Amy smirked as Twilight chirped in agreement, and held the little dragon close to her. "That's right, sweetie. So are you."

<><>​

The Wizard's Apprentice

There were two objects on the table next to where the boss was working on Moord Nag. One was a collection jar, essentially the same as the others containing the boss' growing collection of wispy essences of parasite, while the other looked like an ordinary feather: about four inches long, blue fading to green at the tip, but otherwise unremarkable. Riley knew what the jar was for, but the feather was a mystery to her.

Using the delicate tongs, the boss unwound a delicate strand of nothingness from the warlord's head and deposited it in the jar; knowing her cue, Riley dropped the heavy stopper into place. The magic engaged, sealing the container and making it impervious to anyone but an authorised person who knew the correct opening phrase. Trapped within, the newly extracted parasite coiled back and forth like a living wisp of smoke, seeking an exit that it would never attain.

But the boss wasn't done yet. He muttered a phrase, causing a hemisphere of crackling energy to spring up over the feather, then turned back to Moord Nag. Again, the tongs slid close to her head, then pulled away more of the parasite-stuff.

"Uh, boss …" she ventured. "Didn't you already get her power?"

"I have extracted and separated the problematic aspects of her parasite," he replied urbanely. "That is what goes on the shelf. What I have here is the rest of it." As he spoke, the end of the tongs slid into the hemispherical energy field over the feather. When he released the grip and pulled them out again, the wisp of energy remained within the field, which then began to shrink down around the feather.

Riley watched with fascination as the hemispherical field reduced in size, before finally sinking into the feather and vanishing. "So, what did you do to that, and why a feather?" she asked.

He smiled enigmatically. "Snek, your hat, if you will?"

"Yess, Masster." Snek's versatile tongue reached up to the top of his head and removed the hat that had once belonged to Contessa (and hadn't Riley laughed her head off when she found out about that).

"Thank you, Snek." Taking up the feather, the boss accepted the hat and carefully tucked it into the hatband. The barest flash of magic told Riley that the feather had been given the same protective enchantments as the hat itself. "You may put it back on now."

"Thank you, Masster." Snek took the hat back and put it in the middle of his broad head. "Iss nicce feather."

"It is more than that." The boss nodded toward Snek. "Call your playmate. You will find it to be friendly and no longer a danger to others."

A hopeful look came over the giant snake's features. "Ssnek would like to play with sshadow-Ssnek now."

If Riley hadn't been watching carefully, she would've missed it. The feather glowed briefly, then shadow-stuff poured out of it and formed into the same creature that Snek had fought earlier, complete with a giant wolf skull for a head. It was over in an instant, and Snek's features broke out in a broad smile.

"Whoa, dang." Riley shook her head. "You put the shadow snake in the feather?"

"A minor enchantment, and a proof of concept." The boss gestured in an off-hand manner. "You may go and play, Snek."

"Thank you, Masster." Snek wriggled to the door and opened it; the shadow snake followed him out. It closed behind them.

Riley took up the specimen jar and carried it over toward the shelves, still mulling over what she'd just seen. She'd been right.

That had been damn interesting.



End of Part Thirty-Two

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-Three: Hat Trick

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]


PRT ENE Building
June 13, 2011

Director Emily Piggot

Emily sat at her desk, going through electronic paperwork, a cup of coffee at her elbow. The volume was about the same as it always had been, but the content was decidedly less problematic. There were far fewer incidents that made her want to swear, much less bang her head on the desk.

These days, about the most she needed to do was facepalm mildly, or rub the stress wrinkle that had developed between her eyebrows about three months into the job. Even those events were becoming more and more rare, mostly to do with one Ward or another (usually Clockblocker, but not always) saying something on the record that could really have done with the input of Image before it got aired to the general public. The rest of it was usually to do with Snek pulling off some improbable stunt or other, in his own extremely inimitable way.

So long as the snake kept returning to Brockton Bay, the joint role of the PRT and Protectorate in the city was becoming less and less relevant. As a result, most of the capes in the Protectorate and Wards were due to transfer out to other departments come the first of July, along with the bulk of the troopers, and the building would be relegated to being more of an administrative location. At the same time, Emily would be making her final decision whether to transfer somewhere in an advisory capacity—ten years of running the PRT in her own personal hell-hole had left her with some extremely expensive life lessons—or just retire and claim her pension.

In the meantime, she was absolutely going to do her job to the very best of her ability, no matter how much weird shit cropped up in her city. These days, this tended to be less cape-related and more Snek-adjacent, though sometimes the two overlapped, such as the Yackety Sax Empire incident. That one had actually managed to startle a chuckle out of her.

Three thumps sounded from inside her personal en-suite. Quite apart from the fact that nobody should be in there, that sounded quite familiar. "Snek?" she called out, her hand finding the duress alarm and readying to yank it back if she didn't get the required response. "Is that you?"

"Yess, blue ssuit lady." Yes, that was definitely him. Given the nicknames he had bestowed upon certain members of the Protectorate and Wards ('pointy metal stick man' and 'cat head boy' not only came to mind, but outright grabbed at the attention), she figured she'd gotten off lightly. "May Ssnek come in?"

"Certainly. Come on in." As she clicked the duress alarm to the first catch, she didn't even find it strange that he'd shown up while she was thinking about him. 'What the hell has Snek done recently' was an extremely active topic on the PHO boards, including a recent confrontation with Circus.

The androgynous villain had produced one item or weapon after another from some weird personal pocket dimension, while Snek disarmed them just as rapidly with what appeared to be his tongue, stowing the objects somewhere out of sight, up to and including cartoonish bombs with lit fuses. Nothing had fazed him, and Circus had eventually run out of gear and attempted to flee after Snek appeared to eat their oversized hammer.

Circus, to nobody's surprise, was now residing in a cell, looking extremely grumpy.

"Thank you, blue ssuit lady." The door opened, and the first ten feet of Snek slithered into her office proper. Emily knew now that he utilised teleport portals to go where he needed to, so no doubt there would be one back in the en-suite. It certainly explained the way he'd emerged from a room far too small to contain him by any stretch of the imagination.

He was wearing his trademark fedora, which now sported a blue-green feather. More unusually, perched on his broad snout was a hearth-dragon: the first she'd seen personally. She'd viewed the available photos and footage of the latest additions to New Wave, but the electronic media utterly failed to do justice to the little creatures. About eighteen inches tall and a rich sky-blue from nose to tail, it looked around her office with bright, inquisitive eyes and let out a high-pitched chirp that sounded for all the world like it was greeting her.

Which it probably was, given what she'd heard about them. And there was one other thing: she was not the type to coo over a basket of puppies or kittens, but something about it called to her. Perhaps it was the fact that there was nothing soft or ineffectual in its form; its teeth were sharp, or there was a distinct intelligence behind its eyes.

"Ah … hello," she said carefully. She knew building security would be watching and listening, but doing nothing other than that. "It's good to see you again, Snek. And this is …?"

"Ssnek iss pleassed to ssee blue ssuit lady again, too. Ssnek hass ssaid to Masster that blue ssuit lady iss unhappy and needss help. Masster hass ssaid Ssnek can take hearth-dragon to blue ssuit lady. Here Ssnek iss."

"Wait." Emily blinked. "You brought it here … for me?" The notion utterly disarmed her. Little to no detail had been given about how three members of New Wave had acquired their draconic companions, and she'd had the vague notion that they'd assisted in defeating some great evil while in Snek's world and been awarded the company of the creatures as a thank-you.

But now Snek was in her office, basically saying, 'here, you can have one too'.

Spreading its wings, the hearth-dragon hopped into the air and flew the short distance to her desk. It landed gracefully, furled its wings, and looked at her with an interrogatory chirp. The sound was neither impatient nor coaxing; more along the lines of 'well, are we going to give this a try?'. She stared at it, unable to decide what to do.

"Um," she said at last. "What if … what if we're not compatible?" The absolute last thing she wanted was for it to be heartbroken over a promised human not being interested in having it around. She'd never had a pet before. But then again, these things were far more than mere pets.

"If blue ssuit lady doess not want hearth-dragon, Ssnek will take back to Masster. Other humanss there." Snek managed to convey the impression of 'no pressure' without ever using the words. "Wanted to meet blue ssuit lady first."

"Oh." Emily paused. "So, uh, was that the only reason you came here?"

"Blue ssuit lady iss very ssmart," Snek said admiringly. "Ssnek wantss to find and eat sspiccy rock monsster Be-he-moth. Where can Ssnek find, pleasse?"

Emily blinked. "Ah, as I understand things, he's generally down near the earth's core, sorry. Three or four thousand miles down."

Snek smiled. "Thank you, blue ssuit lady. Ssnek will go find." He paused. "If blue ssuit lady needss Ssnek help, call for Ssnek. Ssnek will come." Then he wriggled backward into the en-suite and closed the door behind him.

"Well, that happened." There was a metric ton to be analysed and unpacked from that short conversation, but right at that moment Emily had another matter to deal with. She looked at the hearth-dragon again. "So, what's your name?"

It dropped to all fours and trotted across the desk to her, carefully avoiding a stack of papers. Once it was alongside her laptop, it sat up on its haunches and gave her an inquiring chirp. The noise had no words in it, but somehow she understood two things: first, 'it' was a 'she'; and second, it was Emily's job to choose a name for her.

"Well, now," she said, taking the time to look the little dragon over properly. "You are very pretty, aren't you?" She wasn't even saying it to be nice; the creature fitted every definition of 'cute' she'd ever seen, while the sharp, dark, intelligent eyes followed her every move. The dragon chirped agreeably, evidently understanding and approving of her assessment.

There were approximately two dozen reasons why she shouldn't be initiating unprotected contact with an unverified, un-decontaminated organism from an entire other version of Earth, but none of them seemed to matter right then. Reaching up, she cautiously stroked her hand over the little dragon's head. It—she—crooned softly, pressing into the contact with evident enjoyment.

The scales were smooth to the touch, and quite warm. Despite the lizard-like appearance, hearth-dragons were apparently endotherms (which made them closer to the current ideas about dinosaurs) and they were definitely affectionate (which didn't). Also, the sky-blue colour wasn't uniform in nature; each scale was textured and shaded in a way that would make the most talented movie CGI artists weep with envy.

All that aside, whether she wanted the company of a hearth-dragon or not, she got the impression that this was very much a once in a lifetime offer, and she very much did not wish to offend Snek or his enigmatic Master by simply rejecting it out of hand, or by mistreating the hearth-dragon while she was in Emily's care.

"So," she mused. "Two very important questions. What shall I call you, and what do you eat?"

At the word 'eat', the hearth-dragon perked up and essayed a hopeful chirp. Despite the fact that she was evidently well-fed and healthy, she turned on the puppy-dog eyes to a degree that Emily had rarely seen even in actual puppies. Emily had to chuckle as she stroked the dragon's head and neck again.

"One second," she said. "I do not want to poison you." She took up her phone—still stroking the dragon with her other hand; it was a strangely soothing activity—and hit speed-dial for a particular number.

The phone was answered after one ring. "Brandish here, Director. What's the situation?"

Emily cleared her throat. "This is going to sound very strange, but … what do hearth-dragons eat?"

"You're correct. It does sound very strange. Why are you asking? Because I can't see you calling me up out of idle curiosity."

"No, true." Emily grimaced. She hadn't wanted this information to get out until she knew where she was going with matters. "Snek just showed up and left a hearth-dragon with me. So, um, what do they eat?" The entire 'unhappy and needss help' thing could be left to one side unless she was really pressed about it. That was nobody's business but hers (and apparently the hearth-dragon's).

She heard the smile blooming on Brandish's face, clear across the phone line. "Oh, that's wonderful! We're going to have to bring ours around, so they can get to know each other. What's its name?"

"I hadn't given her a name yet," Emily hedged. "About her diet?"

"Oh, Amy assures me that their digestive systems are incredibly efficient. They'll eat anything we can, and a few other things beside. Can you send me a photo? The others will be thrilled."

"Hold on." Emily looked at the hearth-dragon. "I just need to take a picture of you. Do you understand?"

The little dragon understood alright; as Emily aimed the camera, she preened, half-unfurling one wing to show off the delicate structure. There was one more word to be added to their description, Emily decided as she took not one, but four different images: vain. They loved to be admired.

"Photos coming through. Thank you for that, Brandish. We'll talk again soon."

"No problem, and thank you. Have fun." The call ended.

Emily pondered the call as she opened the drawer where she kept a stash of protein bars for when the exigencies of work precluded leaving her desk for a meal in the commissary. Those days were getting fewer all the time, which meant she had a good supply at the moment.

As for the phone call with Brandish, that had been decidedly strange when measured against her previous experience with the woman. Lawyer and superhero by turns, Brandish was always businesslike and on point; and so she had been, right up until the hearth-dragon was mentioned. After that, she'd pivoted seamlessly to being thrilled about the situation.

Emily recalled the conversation she'd had with Psyche about the potential impact of hearth-dragons on the world. If someone as humourless as Brandish could be persuaded to show their human side via a little dragon companionship, then there was definitely more to hearth-dragons than met the eye. So far, everything she'd been told about their empathy and emotional impact seemed to be accurate, but she was not yet convinced that she personally needed one.

"Here you go," she said, proffering a protein bar. "Would you like me to open it for you?"

Chirping a negative—it was amazing how fast her ear had learned to distinguish minor tonal shifts—the hearth-dragon politely accepted it, removed the wrapper neatly, and devoured the bar within, showing every sign of enjoyment.

"Well, I'm glad you liked that." Emily was fully aware that the security team was still observing her, but she didn't much care. "So, as for your name. You're blue and you have hidden depths, so I believe I will call you Sapphire. Do you like that?"

The newly named Sapphire chirped happily and rubbed her head up and down along Emily's arm. As Emily scratched the hearth-dragon between the wings—Sapphire arched her back into it, showing unmistakable enjoyment—she decided to take that as a yes.

"Well, I've got to get back to work," she said. Picking up the discarded wrapper, she crumpled it and dropped it into the trashcan beside the desk. "But you're welcome to make yourself comfortable. Let me know if you need anything else."

Sapphire promptly found an unoccupied section of desk and curled up on it like a cat, chin propped on her tail, with one beady eye still watching Emily. Purring didn't seem to be in the hearth-dragon wheelhouse, but when Emily reached out and stroked her, Sapphire let out a gentle rumble of appreciation.

"Did you get all that?" she asked out loud.

"Yes, ma'am." It was Rodriguez, in the security station. Sapphire cocked her head slightly, but didn't sit up. "Snek stopped in to give you a hearth-dragon, told you he was going to eat Behemoth, and asked for directions. Also, hearth-dragons like protein bars."

Emily had to give him props for being able to say all that without stuttering or laughing out loud. "Correct. Please send the footage to the techs for analysis, and contact Dragon regarding the placement of Behemoth. If we can help vector Snek onto him, do it. Also, make sure whoever comes in here to reset my duress alarm knows about the hearth-dragon."

"Roger that, ma'am."

Emily stroked Sapphire again—it was amazing how calming the act was—then returned her focus to her work. Even in a world where giant snakes casually swung by to drop off a passenger on their way to chow down on a city-ending terror, paperwork was a constant.

After a few moments, she took the time to open a chat window and compose a message.

<><>

■

​

PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: GoodGirlRiley
From: Director_Piggot_PRT_ENE
Subject: Care and feeding of hearth-dragons

Good morning (or afternoon, or evening).

As you may know, Snek has delivered a hearth-dragon to me from your employer.
So far, we are getting along quite well, and Brandish has explained to me that they can eat essentially anything humans can eat.
However, I would appreciate it if you could give me any other information about them that I need to know about.

Thank you,
Director Emily Piggot, PRT ENE

■


<><>​

Snek

Snek comes out of wriggle-hole into broken place. Is city that is not city anymore. Buildings all in piles. Tickle of what Master calls ra-di-a-tion. Will not hurt Snek, but will hurt people. No people here anymore, which is good. Snek does not like when people get hurt.

Blue suit lady has told Snek where spicy rock monster Be-he-moth is, so now Snek can find him. Snek sniffs around city-not-city until he smells strongest scent of spicy rock monster Be-he-moth. Is where he dug into ground again. Spicy rock monster Be-he-moth is hiding deep, but Snek can taste him in rock.

Snek begins to dig down. Would be faster to use wriggle-hole, but Snek cannot make wriggle-hole into rock, so digs. Snek is very strong, can dig really fast.

Scent is getting stronger as Snek digs deeper. Rock stops being hard and starts being soft. Is easier to swim through rock than dig. Snek is happy.

But when Snek gets closer to spicy rock monster Be-he-moth, he swims away. Snek tries to catch spicy rock monster Be-he-moth, but is not fast enough. Scent is still strong, but Snek cannot catch him.

Snek chases spicy rock monster Be-he-moth, hoping he will get tired before Snek does. Spicy rock monster Be-he-moth does not get tired.

Snek is not smart as Master or blue suit lady, but Snek knows hunting and chasing. Is easier to catch prey when they are running toward Snek, not away. Snek swims upward through swimmy rock and hard rock to air.

Snek calls for shadow-Snek, and shadow-Snek comes out of feather in hat. Is good feather. Master is very wise and powerful. Shadow-Snek has skull of lion this time. Is good skull. Very frightening.

Snek can dig through rock, but spicy rock monster Be-he-moth can dig faster. Shadow-Snek is shadow, and does not need to dig. Shadow-Snek goes into ground, chasing spicy rock monster Be-he-moth. Snek follows over ground as shadow-Snek finds scent.

Spicy rock monster Be-he-moth swims away from shadow-Snek. Shadow-Snek chases, gets under spicy rock monster Be-he-moth. Snek waits as spicy rock monster Be-he-moth swims and digs upward.

Ground rumbles under Snek, then spicy rock monster Be-he-moth digs out of ground. "Hello," says Snek.

Spicy rock monster Be-he-moth tries to leap away from Snek, but Snek is faster. Snek bites spicy rock monster Be-he-moth on leg. Is very spicy.

Snek likes spicy food.

<><>

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: Director_Piggot_PRT_ENE
From: GoodGirlRiley
Subject: Re: Care and feeding of hearth-dragons

Hi Director,

What you've got there is a sky-dragon. Her wings are optimised for flying high and gliding long distances, and her eyesight is really good. She'll want to go for a good long flight on the regular, but she'll understand if you can't manage it every day.
They're really good at being understanding overall, just saying.
Also, they'll definitely eat anything, but they love bacon and toast. They won't actually steal the food from your plate, but they're really good at begging. (Don't worry about overfeeding; it's hard for them to get overweight.)
Don't worry about diseases; there's nothing we've got that they can catch, and vice versa.
In case you were wondering, the boss picked her out from a bunch of volunteers.
If you bond with her (trust me, you'll know if you're bonded) she'll be sharing some capabilities with you. Specifically, you'll be able to fall any distance without getting hurt, and your distance vision will become downright phenomenal.
Anyway, if you've got more questions, feel free to ask.

Riley

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Dragon

Even without the heads-up from the PRT ENE, Dragon would've known something was up from the way seismographs all over the world were registering ongoing disturbances from deep in the earth. They were only minuscule, but they were consistent and painted a very interesting picture. Behemoth was on the move, faster than he'd ever moved before, and he wasn't the only one.

There was something following him, chasing him. Even if she hadn't known it was Snek, she would've figured out that he was fleeing pursuit eventually. The pattern of movement was unmistakeable.

As it was, the enigmatic, personable monster from another world had revealed another aspect of his insanely powerful makeup. Not one cape in ten thousand had the capability to get down to the Earth's core, and none of them could go toe to toe with the monster once they got there. The fact that Behemoth was running from him merely demonstrated that the three Endbringers had been able to communicate with each other somehow, and that either Leviathan or the Simurgh had gotten off a warning before they were destroyed.

On the downside, while Snek could get down to that level, he wasn't actually able to catch up with the fleeing Endbringer. There wasn't any place that Behemoth could actually hide, but the interior of the Earth was a huge place, and he could draw out the pursuit more or less forever. All he had to do was keep running.

The problem was, while it was entertaining to watch an Endbringer fleeing for its very life, this wasn't actually getting the job done. Snek apparently realised this, because he broke off pursuit after several laps of the outer core and one of the mantle. Digging up to the surface, he broke off pursuit … or did he?

Dragon wasn't sure about what happened next, because just a little later, Behemoth started moving again, in the same pattern of fleeing as before. Only this time, Snek was following along from above, even as Behemoth neared the surface. Impelled by something down beneath him, Behemoth breached into open air, not a hundred yards from where Snek lay in wait.

Right behind him was … another Snek. Except it wasn't. The other Snek had the same basic proportions, but its body was shadowy and its head was the skull of a lion.

Dragon had seen this before, and a split-second check of the databanks confirmed it. Aasdier! That's Aasdier! How in God's name did Snek steal Moord Nag's pet monster?

She suspected she'd never learn the full truth of it, but it really didn't matter then, because Snek had just bitten Behemoth in the leg, as the monster attempted to flee once more. Dragon had a suit incoming, but it was still a distance away from Death Valley, where Snek's shadowy companion had forced Behemoth to the surface. For the moment, she was going to have to depend on any satellites she could vector over that location.

The lion skull also sank its fangs into Behemoth, while Snek whipped his body around to wrap up the Endbringer in his trademark move. Behemoth tried to fight back, pouring all kinds of energy into Snek and the shadow creature, but it appeared Snek's Master had prepared him well for this encounter. As Behemoth's moves became jerkier and more desperate, the massive length of Snek's body continued to wrap inexorably around him.

As the unequal combat went on—Snek was already ripping away chunks of Behemoth's rocky 'flesh' and swallowing them whole—Dragon concentrated on getting all the footage she could. Converting it to a usable format, she beamed it via various satellites to the PRT and Guild headquarters; they absolutely had to see this. For herself, she kind of wished she could sit back and enjoy the show with popcorn, because Behemoth had had this coming for a long, long time.

When Snek succeeded in tearing away Behemoth's left leg in its entirety, that was the beginning of the end. Behemoth struggled even harder, but his obsidian claws could get no purchase on Snek's obdurate scales. The hottest flames, the most intense lightning, the overpressure sound that sent out shockwaves visible on the satellite images for literally miles away, the blasts of radiation that cooked the already molten sand beneath them all over again … it did him no good whatsoever.

Piece by piece, Snek squeezed Behemoth into submission and ripped away bits of him, to be ingested with every evidence of enjoyment. When his massive gleaming fangs tore open Behemoth's chest and ripped out what might have been his heart (the satellite cameras couldn't get a good picture from that angle) and the remains of the monster's body went still, it was almost a mercy.

Snek didn't stop there, of course. He finished consuming Behemoth's body, leaving behind only the scars on the landscape to show that the battle had ever taken place. Once he was done, he created one of those 'wriggle-holes' and dived into it, followed by the shadow-creature that had once belonged to Moord Nag.

The portal closed, and Dragon did the electronic equivalent of leaning back and sighing with relaxation.

Well, she told herself. That's going to get a reaction.



End of Part Thirty-Three

 

[Ack]

I'll admit to some curiosity. Would the Director prefer to have a giant snake wandering through the city every so often? Or would she rather have an all-knowing, all-seeing, all-doing villain who wields a pistol, a shotgun, and a pair of shears residing full-time in the city instead?

Click to shrink...

I can just see Snek!Piggot and Atropos!Piggot in a bar, both leaning on the counter, staring into their drinks.

S!P: "So, when did you first find out?"
A!P: "Oni Lee got shot in the face. You?"
S!P: "He ate Lung. Then he started on the Nine."
A!P: "Huh. She burned Lung alive. Stabbed Kaiser through the head. Cut Coil's throat twice. Smeared Skidmark over two hundred yards of asphalt. And that was the first five days. Were the Nine in town too?"
S!P: "No, they were elsewhere. He saved Mouse Protector. He's very into saving people. And eating supervillains. How in God's name did she burn Lung alive?"
A!P: "You really don't want to know. Please tell me he didn't post bright little notes on PHO about who was going to die next, and when."
S!P: "No, PHO's not really his thing. He just showed up randomly. Chased the Empire Eighty-Eight through the city, teleporting them into holding cells. With someone on his back, playing Yackety Sax."
A!P: "She just warns people publicly, and if they screw up after two warnings, they're dead. She blitzed her way through the Nine in less than forty-five minutes, and she was taking time to make it look easy."
S!P: "As far as I can figure, he eats the worst and takes the rest to his world, where his Master rips their powers out and lets them loose in his own society to sink or swim."
A!P: "His Master?"
S!P: "Yeah. Godawfully powerful wizard. Like, destroying world-ending threats is Tuesday for him type powerful."
A!P: "So he got rid of your Endbringers?"
S!P: " No, he couldn't be bothered. Snek chased them down, wrapped them up, and ate them alive. Yours?"
A!P: "She blew away the Simurgh with a sawn-off shotgun, then Ended the other two in a way I'm still not sure about."
S!P: "Huh. Classy. So does she go after other S-class threats? Butcher, Ash Beast and the like?"
A!P: "Only if they threaten Brockton Bay, usually. Though the place is looking a lot nicer. She finagled a deal where we pay her ten percent of what we would've spent keeping the quarantine areas contained, plus ten percent of the Endbringer budget, for the next ten years, plus two billion for the Simurgh, and she's funneled it into a Betterment Committee. Somehow got Accord to plan the redevelopment. Paid him with his own money, if you can believe that."
S!P: "Impressive. No, the Bay's the same old, same old. A lot quieter, a lot nicer. I'm thinking about retiring. Not a lot for me to do now."
A!P: "Me too, but I'm running the New York department for the duration. Wilkins tried to unmask Atropos, and it was either arrest her or let her get shot in the face." <pause> "So, what's with the dragon?"
<both turn to look at the little blue dragon that's been raiding the peanuts>
S!P: "Sapphire's my emotional support hearth-dragon. Snek dropped her off one day. You should get one. They're amazing for the stress levels. I can put in a good word for you, if you want."
A!P: "I might just take you up on that."