Snek is a Good Boy [a Worm Crackfic]

[meloa789]

Cauldron's reaction will be a sight to see.

 

[Ack]

Cauldron's reaction will be a sight to see.

Click to shrink...

What reaction? Contessa doesn't remember a thing.

 

[meloa789]

What reaction? Contessa doesn't remember a thing.

Click to shrink...

When she searches for her hat, and the other members ask her what happened.

 

[Cubbyhb1]

Path to find my hat.
Step One: Buy a new hat.

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Five: The Snek, the Bug and the Snake

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]

Taylor kept a lookout all around with her bugs as she stood at the side of the road. It was a street much like any other, albeit more run-down than most, but it was in the northern part of the city, so that wasn't exactly surprising. The significance of the area, which would've escaped ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the population of Brockton Bay, was that Lung had died here.

Looking up at the building currently looming over her, she could easily see the gouges in the concrete frontage where he'd leaped upward and clung to the wall. His speed and strength, shocking at the time, were even more impressive when she was looking at the height of the leap from ground level. She knew now what she hadn't then; getting close enough to view the scene with her own eyes had been stupid and reckless, and that she'd come close to paying for that lesson with her life.

"You okay?" Danny put his hand on her shoulder.

She nodded, and dug her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "He was right here." Her toe tapped the deformed, grimy asphalt for emphasis. "The snake told him it was bad to attack children. He threw fire at the snake, then he threw fire up at me, then he jumped up at me, and that's when the snake grabbed him."

"And ate him." Danny shook his head, more in wonder than disbelief if she were any judge. "Well, as terrifying as it sounds, the snake saved your life. And got you to open up to me."

"And I'm glad I did." She leaned into the contact. "You helped give me some perspective."

"Every problem is the biggest problem in the world if you're looking at it from the inside," he noted. "Have you decided which way you're going to go with things? Independent, join a local team, or jump straight into the Wards?"

"Well, we don't really have many local teams, apart from New Wave." She took her hand out of her pocket to rub her nose. "And I don't feel like going maskless. Also, I know now exactly how risky it is to be out on my own."

He shrugged. "Well, less so since Lung died. The ABB's been more or less non-existent since that explosion in the middle of their territory. But yes, I'm still not comfortable with you going out on your own."

By silent mutual agreement, they turned and headed back toward the car. Taylor pursed her lips, considering the question that was still hanging in the air. "You know how I'm not thrilled about the Wards basically being my only real option."

Danny nodded. "As I recall, the phrase you used was, 'high school drama with powers'."

"On top of actual high school drama," she agreed. "So, can you think of a fifth alternative that isn't worse than going out on my own as an independent hero, unmasking with New Wave, joining the Wards or just trying to ignore the fact that I've got powers and can do some good in the world?"

"Well …" He chuckled to show that he wasn't serious. "You could always partner with the snake. That's what I call backup."

She giggled, a little shakily. "You shouldn't even joke about that, Dad. It was scary. Also, it ate Lung. Pretty sure every villain out there will be targeting it."

"I don't know about that," he said thoughtfully. "I saw on the news the other night about how it went through the drive-through at Fugly Bob's. Even paid for its meal. A couple of the Wards showed up and talked to it, but not a villain in sight."

"What?" Her head whipped around and she stared at him. "When did that happen?"

"Like I said, day before yesterday. You were tired from working out in the basement, so you went to bed early. Didn't you hear anything about it in school?"

That prompted an eye-roll. "You forget, Dad. I'm the social pariah. I'm spending more time using my bugs to keep clear of anyone who wants to pull bullshit on me than actually listening in on what they've got to say."

"Okay, got it." His jaw tightened, as it did with any reminder of the bullying. "How's it going with that, anyway? Do we have any more material for the lawsuit?"

Her father had been adamant about suing the school, but he hadn't wanted to go anywhere near Alan Barnes' law firm, so they'd found a different one. The lawyer who would be representing them, a Mr. Howe, had been nothing but helpful and encouraging for the whole process.

"A little bit." She waggled her hand from side to side. "They're still trying, but I think they're getting frustrated. You're serious about the drive-through thing?"

"Totally." He spread his hands, then got out the keys to unlock the car. "Look it up for yourself when you get home."

"Right." Once her door was unlocked, she climbed in. "I think it's time to jump back on my PHO account. If it's anywhere, it'll be there."

"Sounds about right." He fastened his seatbelt and started the car. "Also, I just had an idea about the other thing. Do you really need to be a hero?"

"Dad!" Scandalised, she stared at him. "I'm not going to be a villain!"

He raised an eyebrow. "There is a third choice, you know. You could monetise this. How many bug exterminators can tell exactly how many bugs are in the building before they even start? And how many can be certain about getting every single bug out?"

She blinked. "I … uh … oh." The more she considered the idea, the more she was sure she could do it. "Why didn't I think of this myself?"

Shifting the car into gear, he snorted with amusement. "Because nobody wakes up with super-powers and asks themselves, 'how can I make this into a boring nine-to-five job?' That's why."

"Oh. Right. But, uh … isn't there a law against using powers to make money?" She was sure she'd heard something about that in World Affairs.

He frowned. "It's not as hard and fast as that, but yeah, NEPEA-5 has provisions against purely cape-based industries. I'll have to look into it when we get home, after I check in with DC&H about whether they're ready to serve papers yet."

"And I'm going to be looking up PHO," she declared. "I want to see if it's the same snake."

"Because there are so many sixty-foot snakes in Brockton Bay," he teased her as they drove off.

She responded with the extremely mature and well-thought-out argument of blowing a raspberry.

<><>​

Snek

Snek has been a good boy.

Riley has been nice to him. She thanked Snek for fast food, and gave him snoot-boops. Snek likes snoot-boops. Fast food was fun. Snek enjoyed Challenger snacks.

He helped Master do Master things, too. Master sent him to where demons were hurting people. Snek likes spicy food. Snek can count to ten but there were many more demons than that. Snek was very full, after.

Master said it is good to help Mouse. Snek likes helping Mouse, because she says nice things about Snek's hat. It is a nice hat.

Now Mouse is doing Mouse things, and Master said he does not need Snek for little while yet, so Snek is bored. Snek decides to look for new friend.

Snek remembers buzzy-bug girl on building when he ate shouty fire metal man. He wonders if she knows where to find more shouty fire metal men. The last one was not as spicy as demon, but still spicy.

He decides to go find buzzy-bug girl. City is big, but Snek can smell really good.

<><>​

Coil

It was official. Thomas Calvert did not like what was going on.

He'd had almost all his ducks in a row for the Alcott abduction, then half the city went nuts after a giant snake ate Lung. The new cape he'd been planning on recruiting via the Undersiders didn't even get to meet them, and he'd had to abandon all his timelines because of inexplicable splitting headaches.

Since then, anytime he tried to split time for more than a day, the headaches returned or he started getting clear impossibilities as a result. And every time he had the Alcott girl kidnapped, it always went bad, usually involving something huge and scaly roaming through the base and hunting him down.

The worst bit was when he turned on the TV and nearly soiled himself when he saw the creature itself carefully wriggling through the drive-through at Fugly Bob's. At one point, it turned its head toward the camera and he could've sworn it was looking directly at him. Once it had its food, it vanished through some kind of teleport-portal, which didn't make him any happier.

His plans to foment city-wide instability had also struck a severe snag. In the aftermath of Lung's death, it seemed that Bakuda and Oni Lee had disagreed over who was to lead the gang; this had culminated in the Tinker's lab exploding dramatically and leaving a glass-lined crater. Nobody had seen either cape since, and the ABB's presence in the city had dropped away to almost nothing. Without the Asian gang to confront, the Empire wasn't causing nearly as much unrest as he'd hoped.

Picking up the phone, he dialled Tattletale's number. She had a talent of getting around blocks that stopped other Thinkers, so he wanted to know what she had to say on the matter. If he couldn't kill or suborn whoever was behind it, he wanted them out of the city by whatever means possible.

<><>​

Taylor

It was much later by the time Taylor pushed back from her computer desk, having thoroughly combed through the PHO thread whimsically titled Our Snekky Overlord. It had been started by Mouse Protector, of all people, and included several selfies with her and the oversized serpent … wearing a normal-sized fedora on its enormous head.

His enormous head; apparently, Snek (he had a name) was a 'he', and Mouse Protector had waxed lyrical about his playfulness, his sense of humour, and his ability to eat supervillains whole. Because apparently Lung wasn't a fluke. He'd done it to Hatchet Face as well.

Also included (because why not) was a section of footage (taken by Mouse Protector using a selfie stick) showing the comedic hero riding on Snek's neck across what looked vaguely like Boston. There was a blow-by-blow portrayal of Snek helping track down and capture Ravager (apparently someone Mouse Protector had a long-standing enmity with), whereupon the villain was given the mother of all wedgies by hanging her from a lamp-post by her underwear.

The PHO reactions had been many and varied, ranging from 'this has to be CGI' all the way through to 'no shit, there I was when Mouse Protector came riding down the street on this giant snake'. The moderators had been pushed to their limits keeping things from exploding out of control, dousing flamewars as soon as they started, though things had reduced to relative sanity after Armsmaster and several PRT-affiliated sources had come forward to confirm Snek's existence.

Along the way, she had learned more ways to refer to snakes than she'd ever thought possible, from 'danger noodle' to 'nope rope' to 'slippery tube dude', 'hazard spaghetti', 'caution Ramen', 'dangle fangle' and 'panic pipeline'. Some of these made her giggle, while others induced a facepalm.

But even all that hadn't prepared Taylor for the phone videos of Snek just casually going through the Fugly's drivethrough down on the Boardwalk. She'd seen him in action before, but that had been at night, in the dark, and a lot of the action had been obscured by Lung himself. This time around, it was just … weirdly normal. Made all the more surreal by the two Wards who appeared on the scene and even had a short conversation with him before he vanished.

After that, Taylor was prepared to swear it was the same snake. (Or rather, the same Snek). That portal-travel was unmistakeable. "Wow," she said softly, and repeated something Mouse Protector had posted. "Snek is a good boy."

"Thank you," hissed a voice from just outside her window. "Buzzy-bug girl iss nicce too."

Taylor froze. She hadn't been keeping her swarm up and active while at home; this was an oversight she immediately swore she would never commit again. While she put out a call to every bug she could muster in the surrounding blocks, she slowly turned her head to see who had spoken.

An eye roughly the size of her head, with a gold-fringed slit pupil, looked back at her. It was inset into a gigantic scaly head, upon which was perched a stylish fedora, and somehow managed to convey far more emotion than a snake's eye should be able to. There was an innocent playfulness in there, and more than a little amusement. Of malice, there was none.

"H-hello?" she replied. "Snek?" For that eye, that head, that hat, could belong to none other.

"Hello," Snek replied. The head pulled away a little, then turned so that the other eye could inspect her. "Ssnek iss Ssnek. Buzzy-bug girl like to come out, bring buzzy-bugss, punissh bad men?"

"W-wait." This was moving too fast for Taylor. She knew Mouse Protector had worked with him, but she was a long-established hero. "You—you want me to come out with you?"

"Yess, buzzy-bug girl." Snek's mouth was longer than Taylor's arm, but he still seemed to smile. "Maybe Ssnek find another sshouty fire metal man to eat."

"Shouty fire metal— oh. No, I don't think there's any more Lungs out there. At least, I hope not." She was finding the conversation deeply surreal, but Snek was oddly easy to talk to. "We can still go beat up bad guys if you want to. But I'm pretty sure I'm not bulletproof. Or fireproof."

"Ssnek will protect buzzy-bug girl," the colossal snake replied, with a simple matter-of-fact air. "Punissh bad men iss fun. Even if not eat."

"Yeah." She nodded. "I can go with that. But I'm going to have to tell Dad first. I promised not to go out without telling him."

"Ssnek undersstandss. Ssnek alwayss tellss Masster when Ssnek visitss other worldss."

She wasn't sure she wanted to ask about 'Masster' or the 'other worlds' reference. Or rather, she wanted to ask, but she wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answers. Getting up from the chair, she indicated the door of her room. "I'm just going to go check with him. Are you okay to wait?"

The massive head nodded. "Ssnek iss good at waiting."

Well, okay then. Taylor trotted downstairs, then through into the kitchen and down into the basement where she retrieved her costume. Then she headed upstairs again, into the living room, where Danny was watching the news. "Dad?"

<><>​

Danny

When Taylor went down to the basement, Danny tilted his head slightly in concern. She'd promised not to go out again in costume without notifying him first, and he didn't think she'd break her word without an exceptionally good reason. But ... he couldn't think of anything else she'd be going down there for. However, when she came back up—costume in hand—she came straight to him. "Dad?"

Muting the TV, he sat up straight and looked at her. "You're going out?"

She hesitated, which drew his attention even more strongly. "I … yeah. You know how you made a joke about me partnering with, uh, Snek?"

It took him a second or so to make the connection. "What, the big snake?" Where'd she get that name from?

"Uh … yeah. So, he's outside … well, my bedroom window. Inviting me to come out and beat up bad guys with him."

He blinked, slowly. "Wait, what again now?"

"Come on. I'll show you." She started toward the entrance hall.

With that sort of lead-in, he didn't have much of a choice. Getting up from the sofa, he followed her upstairs and along the corridor to her room. Where a giant snake was peering in through the window. A giant snake with a fedora perched on the middle of its gargantuan head.

"Hello," it said politely. "Ssnek iss Ssnek."

"Ah, hi." This was not what Danny had been expecting to do this evening. "I'm Danny. I'm, uh, I'm Taylor's father."

"Hello, Danny. Ssnek will keep buzzy-bug girl Taylor ssafe."

By rights, Danny should've been screaming and running from the room. But against all odds, Snek seemed … friendly. Approachable, even. It may have been the hat. "I like your hat."

"Thank you." Snek seemed to preen. "It wass pressent from nicce hat lady."

He wasn't sure how to address that, so he decided to go on to the topic that really concerned him. "Uh … you know Taylor's only new at being a hero, right?"

Snek nodded. "Yess. Ssnek knowss that. Ssnek will protect buzzy-bug girl Taylor."

"Good, good." He was running out of things to say. What did one talk about with a giant snake, anyway? "Uh, how do you like Brockton Bay? The city, I mean?"

This time, Snek's smile was unmistakeable. "Ssnek likess ccity. Many bad men to play with. Ssnek met sshouty fire metal man. Wass bad man. Ssnek ate him. Wass deliciouss."

And saved Taylor at the same time. "So … you only eat bad men?"

Snek nodded again. "Yess. Masster hass ssaid not to hurt children, and to only eat bad men. Ssnek iss a good boy."

"I can see that." Danny wanted to ask about Snek's 'masster', but thought it might be rude.

Taylor hustled in, wearing her costume. Pulling her mask over her head, she tugged her hair through the space at the back. "Okay, I'm ready to go."

"Got your pepper spray and burner phone?" Danny still didn't like cell-phones, but this was a special case.

"Right here." She reached over her shoulder and tapped the carapace on her back. "All charged up and ready to go."

"Okay, good." He gave her a brief hug; she returned it. "Take care, and call me if you need anything at all. Okay?" He wouldn't even have been condoning this excursion, except that he'd seen the selfies Mouse Protector had taken with Snek.

"Absolutely." She climbed out the window. Snek's head dipped down, so that Taylor ended up astride his neck. "See you when I get home."

It was hard to speak past the lump in his throat. "Kick some ass for me."

"Will do. Whooo!" The last whoop was occasioned when a weird hole opened in the ground in front of Snek and he dived into it, taking Taylor with him.

Half a second later, the portal closed, leaving no sign that there'd ever been a giant snake in his side yard. Shaking his head, Danny turned and left the room. It was a good thing that the TV was already on the news channel, because he was going to be paying very close attention to it for the rest of the evening.

Nobody ever warned me that being the parent of a superhero would be this stressful.

<><>​

Coil

After a few days of nothing going wrong, Calvert had settled on a basic armoured car robbery. For the moment, everything seemed to be going according to plan. While the guards had locked the doors and bunkered down, the lasers wielded by his men were carving the back of the truck open. Another few million in the kitty was always a good idea.

The first indication of trouble came when a circular portal opened in the side of the truck, and that goddamn snake barrelled out into the midst of his men. Knocking them aside like skittles, it wrapped its body protectively around the truck, its sheer bulk shielding the lower six feet of the vehicle from their lasers. A sharp spike of pain shot through his head as he stared through the various helmet-cam feeds at the creature; he went to drop the timeline, but the other one had already vanished like the morning fog.

"Sir?" It was Hodges, the nominal leader of this mission. "What do we do?"

He was already committed. "Lasers, full power. Kill that thing."

"Copy that." He heard the orders being passed on, then all his men fired their lasers at the gigantic snake. A smile of grim satisfaction crossed his features; getting rid of it had always been in his plans, but this was too easy.

Right up until bugs started swarming his men. Yells arose as faceplates were obscured. More urgent shouts rang out as the bugs began (he suspected) crawling into their clothing and seeking flesh to bite and sting. And then, as they were distracted, the snake's head loomed unexpectedly out of the curtain of bugs to delicately snatch the rifles from his men's hands with what looked like a prehensile tongue. One after the other, so neatly and precisely that it had to have been pre-planned, they were disarmed.

Nobody hung on to their weapons for even a few seconds. With the size of the jaws on that thing, it could easily have made 'dis-arming' a much more painful and permanent affair. As much as Calvert wanted to blame them, he couldn't.

It's that other cape, the bug controller. They're working together. As unpalatable as it was, the conclusion hadn't been hard to reach.

"Retreat!" he ordered. "Get your men out of there!"

"We can't!" Hodges broke off, hacking and coughing. A moment later, a wall of scales appeared in front of him and knocked him backward, off his feet. "It's—kack—everywhere!"

And then the helmet cameras started blinking off, one after the other. As the last one went dark, Calvert slumped into his chair. The headache was pounding harder than ever, preventing him from accessing his power. Wherever he went, whatever he tried to do, this thing thwarted his wishes.

With his eyes squeezed shut, he accepted the inevitable. Fuck this. I'm leaving town.

Maybe he could make a start somewhere else. As far as he was concerned, the snake could have Brockton Bay.

<><>​

Taylor

"Well, that was fun," Taylor said brightly, leaning against the side of Snek's head. She'd been careful to take cover while he assaulted the armoured-car robbers, and her swarm had made it a lot harder for them to fight back. All they were waiting for now were the cops. "Did you have fun, Snek?"

"Yess, buzzy-bug girl. Ssnek had fun. Glowy-light thingss were tickly." Snek rubbed his head up against Taylor like the world's biggest puppy-dog, begging for skritchies. She obliged, then gave his snout a pat. He seemed to enjoy that, too.

She had to admit, being a hero was a whole lot easier with a giant laser-proof Snek around.

<><>​

Snek is happy. Snek has been a good boy.



End of Part Five

 

[One-who-reads]

Mouse Protector, Skitter, Snek. The New Triumvirate.

 

[Marcantonio]

Mouse Protector, Skitter, Snek. The New Triumvirate.

Click to shrink...

The new one even has a sense of humor! It clearly is the best version

 

[Mastersgt]

This...

She had to admit, being a hero was a whole lot easier with a giant laser-proof Snek around.

Made me think of this...

~~~Broken Adventure~~~

Life was better, Asako decided, when you had tiny elephants.

 

[GladiusLucix]

Nope Rope and the Nopes!

 

[Balra]

This...

She had to admit, being a hero was a whole lot easier with a giant laser-proof Snek around.

Made me think of this...

~~~Broken Adventure~~~

Life was better, Asako decided, when you had tiny elephants.

Click to shrink...

I still have to finish that. Still sad it's ended

 

[meloa789]

The more I read this, the more I want to see that adorable abomination gobbling up S-Class threats.

 

[Ack]

The more I read this, the more I want to see that adorable abomination gobbling up S-Class threats.

Click to shrink...

So does everyone who's not an S-class threat.

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Six: Decisions, Decisions

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]


In an undisclosed location in Brockton Bay, two villains argued.

"No."

"But—"

"I said no."

"But think of—"

"What part of not on your fucking life do you fail to understand?"

"… you didn't say that before."

"I figured it was understood."

"So I can't …?"

"Only if you give me time to leave town first."

"So … no?"

"No."

"Aww."

"Don't 'aww' me, you idiot. I've gone along with a lot of your ideas before now. But we are not doing an episode of 'Snake'. Especially not with a sixty-foot snake!"

"You're no fun."

"I'm saving your life. Three words. That's all you need to know."

"Three words?"

"It. Can. Teleport."

"Oh. Oh, shit."

"Yeah. 'Oh, shit.' That's why I'm saying no. Also, because it could eat us both alive, and that's not actually a figure of speech."

"Okay, fii-ine. We won't do it."

"Good."

Leet sulked, while Uber went back to playing his computer game.

<><>​

Danny

When the news began showing footage of the abortive armoured truck robbery, Danny sat up and started paying real attention. Robberies happened all the time. If it wasn't the Empire, it was the ABB. Except that Lung was exceedingly dead, and he hadn't seen anything in the news about the ABB recently. Even on the grapevine, he hadn't heard about Asian families being 'asked' for contributions.

However, this robbery had been by some black-clad thugs, apparently armed with laser weapons, and they'd been brought low by none other than Taylor and Snek. The reporter had shown impressive fortitude in interviewing Snek for the nightly news, though all she came away with was, "bad men ssteal thingss. Ssnek not let them. Buzzy-bug girl help with buzzy-bugss."

Taylor was a little more forthcoming, but all she really told them was that she was temporarily partnering with Snek, and that he was as cool as Mouse Protector had said he was. The reporter pressed her for a cape name, of course, so she replied with 'Lady Swarm'. It wasn't as bad as some, Danny judged. In the meantime, Snek seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, preening and posing for the cameras.

A knock on the door caught his attention, just as he was watching Taylor climb aboard Snek's neck. Then, a moment later, he realised that the sound had come from the back door. "Who's that?" he muttered, getting to his feet.

Heading through to the kitchen, he unlocked the door … and came face to face with Taylor. Her mask was off, and her face alight with happiness. Just for a moment, his brain stuttered to a halt, caught in the cognitive dissonance from seeing her on the TV screen only seconds before.

Oh, right. They'd have a time delay before broadcasting, and the snake can teleport.

"You're back," he said lamely. "I saw you on the news. Did you, uh, did you have fun?"

"Oh, yeah." She grinned broadly, then gestured at where the gargantuan serpent was taking up most of the back yard. "Snek wanted to say goodbye before he went."

Snek. Right. The fact that the giant talking snake had a name had momentarily slipped his mind. "Well, that's nice of him."

As Danny descended the steps, Snek raised his head. He didn't have to raise it far before his eyes were at Danny's eye level. "Hello, Danny," Snek said. "Buzzy-bug girl Taylor iss a good hero. Helped Ssnek sstop bad men."

"That's, um, that's good." Danny wasn't sure what else to say … well, there was one thing. "Thanks for protecting her. Have a good night."

"Bye, Snek." Taylor was less restrained as she wrapped her arms around Snek's barrel neck and hugged him. He seemed to enjoy it. "Thanks for taking me out with you. It was fun."

"Ssnek liked it, too. Will come back ssometime. Goodbye, Danny. Goodbye, buzzy-bug girl."

As Taylor released him and stepped back, Snek reared his head slightly then dived into the portal that had formed on the ground beneath him. Danny blinked as the entire colossal length of the snake whipped out of sight through the portal in one blurred motion. Before he could properly react, Snek was gone, and the portal had closed.

"… wow," Danny said at last. "Did he move that fast when you were on his back? Neck, whatever?"

"Mm-hmm," Taylor confirmed, leading the way back into the house. "He's only got two gears; slow and steady, and supersonic. Well, I don't think he actually breaks the speed of sound, but he can move really fast when he wants to."

Danny climbed the steps behind her, then closed and locked the back door. "Did he happen to say where he's from, or who this 'master' is?"

"Not really," she replied thoughtfully. "He did say stuff that made me think he travels to other worlds on the regular, and that his Master lives on one of those other worlds, but that was about it. Oh, and his Master is a wise and powerful wizard who does Masster sstuff."

That prompted an eye-roll from Danny. "Why am I not surprised." It wasn't even remotely a question.

"I know, right?" Taylor sniffed. "Is that dinner I smell?"

"It is." He pointed upward. "Go shower and change first. No costumes at my table, young lady. And while we're eating, you can regale me with your adventures."

She grinned. "You're on." Turning, she headed for the stairs.

<><>​

Snek is happy. Buzzy-bug girl Taylor used buzzy-bugs to help Snek stop bad men. That was fun. Bad men did not look happy, but Snek does not care. Buzzy-bug girl and Danny are new friends. This is two times now that Snek has protected buzzy-bug girl. Snek is a good boy.

Snek opens wriggle-hole to Master's castle, and wriggles up to Master's door. Bonk, bonk, bonk goes Snek's snoot on door, while Snek counts carefully to three.

"Come in, Snek," says Master.

Snek opens door with tongue and wriggles in. Master is there, and Riley. Riley waves when she sees Snek. Riley has said many times that she is happy Snek brought her to Master. This makes Snek happy too.

"Hello, Masster," says Snek. "Hello, Riley."

Master nods and strokes his beard as he looks at Snek. "You've been helping the superheroes on Riley's world, haven't you, Snek?"

"Yess, Masster." Snek is impressed. "Masster is very wise."

Master waves a hand. "It was no great feat of deduction. I can see where someone tried to burn you with a laser. Your scales are slightly scorched. I may need to upgrade your Ironskin enchantment if this keeps up."

Snek feels nervous. Master is talking about giving him things when Snek wants to ask for something else. Snek does not want to sound greedy. "Masster … Ssnek would like to assk for big favour insstead."

"Really?" Master tilts his head. "What favour is this, Snek? Ask, and I shall see if it is possible."

Snek nods. Master is so kind and wise. "Fun world iss fun. Many bad men to eat. But when Ssnek goes there, Ssnek findss ladiess and children in danger. Ssnek wantss to find and help them every time. Masster help Ssnek do thiss?"

"Well, now." Master turns to Riley. "Do you see that? I did not implant that altruistic seed in him at all. He's grown and nurtured it all by himself."

Snek waits. Master has not said no yet, but he has not said yes yet either.

"Uh-huh." Riley nods. "Wow, Snek. You are a good boy."

Snek preens. Snek likes being told that he is a good boy.

"My thoughts exactly." Master turns back to Snek. "Come a little closer, Snek."

"Yess, Masster." Snek wriggles closer, and puts his head where Master can reach it.

Master speaks magic words and waves hands. Lights are pretty around Master's hands. When Master touches Snek's head, Snek feels tingly in head for a little bit. "And thus," says Master. "It is done."

"I will never understand how that works," says Riley. "What did that feel like, Snek?"

"It feelss like Masster magic," says Snek. "Masster iss great wizard."

"I could teach you, Riley, but it would require that you unlearn a great many parts of your worldview. You are probably happier as you are." Master nods to Snek. "If you wish to go and test out your new ability, feel free. I won't be needing you for another few hours."

"Thank you, Masster." Snek goes to Riley for skritches and snoot-boops, then opens wriggle-hole. Time to go help people!

<><>​

Tattletale

"Okay, so you're leaving town." Lisa looked pointedly around at Coil's base, where the mercenaries were busily breaking down crates of supplies into man-portable lots, then back at Coil himself. "So why did you call me in? Is there one last job you want the Undersiders to pull? Because if that's the case, allow me to introduce you to a new invention that's been making the rounds in the last century or so: the telephone."

Inside, she knew she should've been celebrating but she had an uneasy feeling in the back of her head. Although Coil was good at hiding his tells, especially through that body-stocking costume he wore, she could usually pick out his motives. Today, he was being especially careful not to give anything away.

"It's very simple." He rotated his swivel chair to look at her; as tall as he was, they were on the same eye level. "You're coming with me."

And there it was: the warning in the back of her head that had been trying to get her attention for the last hour. "Nope," she said, scissoring her hands in front of her. "No way. I quit. I'm out."

"Oh, Tattletale," he said, standing up to loom over her. "Whatever made you think I was giving you a choice in the matter?"

She turned to run—though she wasn't sure where she could run to in this base—and got precisely three steps before two of his mercenaries grabbed her by the arms. They spun her around and marched her straight back to Coil. He hadn't moved at all, even during her escape attempt. Far, far too late, she realised he'd planned out this entire encounter.

"Well, you can forget about ever getting another hint or tip or bit of information out of me," she spat. "I'll steer you so wrong you'll find yourself halfway to Antarctica."

He shook his head and tutted, as though chastising a wayward child. "Tattletale, you just keep making assumptions. It's always been your weakness. Well, that and assuming that you're smarter than me. Whatever makes you think I was going to trust you in the slightest? With the appropriate drugs in your system, you'll be incapable of lying to me. You'll be begging to be allowed to provide a prognostication in return for your next fix."

Ice-cold water poured through her veins as she realised—thanks for nothing, power—that he meant every word. He had the drugs he was referring to, and fully intended to keep her in a strung-out haze for as long as she was useful to him.

I am so totally fucked.

Shouts arose throughout the base, ranging from surprise to sheer panic. Coil took a step back, bringing his hands up defensively. "No … no …" he choked. "Get away from me!"

On either side of Lisa, the mercenaries holding her looked around. One of them soiled himself right there; she could smell it, sharp in the base's filtered air. Both let go her arms and launched themselves away from her, yelling something incoherent but probably highly profane.

Do I want to know what's behind me?

No, no, I do not.

She tried to consult her power, but she got the impression that it was gibbering in the corner. It didn't want to know, either.

Slowly, she turned her head, and came face to snout with the biggest goddamn snake she'd ever seen in her life. It was the snake, she quickly realised. The one she'd seen in the news. There couldn't be two of them, and besides, the markings matched perfectly.

Part of her wondered why she wasn't shitting herself and running away as well, but another part told her firmly that Snek—she remembered that much—looked friendly. In fact, he looked downright cute. Especially with that fedora perched on top of his head.

"H-hello?" she ventured. Snek seemed to smile back at her; with a mouth that large, he could really smile. She tried to ignore the fact that he'd been seen to eat several supervillains whole.

"Hello, purple girl." His voice held a hissing undertone that should've interfered with his speech, but didn't. "Ssnek iss Ssnek. Bad men? Can eat?"

All of a sudden, she decided she was perfectly happy with being called 'purple girl'. "Yes, everyone in here except for me is a bad man. You can eat them. They might be a bit crunchy, though."

"Iss fine. Ssnek hass sstrong teeth." The snake made a swift dipping motion with his head, and Lisa found herself astride his neck. "Purple girl hold on."

And thus, the hunt began. Afterward, Lisa had just one regret: no popcorn.

<><>​

Armsmaster

Colin pulled up on his motorbike and dismounted in one smooth move. "You there!" he called out to the dark-clad men—Coil's mercenaries, if he were any judge—who were backing away from the open manhole, rifles trained on it. "Put your weapons on the ground!"

One of the men turned to glance at him, but didn't point the rifle in his direction. This was fortunate for the mercenary; Colin's halberd had a high-end wireless taser ready to shock him into insensibility if he tried anything like that. "Hell with that!" the man responded. "It's down there!"

The PRT truck that had been following Colin pulled up with a screech of brakes, and troops began to deploy. They held a mix of assault rifles and containment foam; the teenage girl who'd phoned in the anonymous tip had given several locations where they might find Coil's mercs coming out of his underground base. None of them were known to be high-end Brutes, so the troopers were going with a standard loadout.

"Well, we're here now, so you can put your weapons down and submit to lawful custody. Or we can foam you. Your choice." Colin had attended de-escalation classes, and he hoped he was hitting the right notes here.

Frightened shouts drifted up out of the hole, and the mercenaries took a few steps back. There was a scrabbling noise in the manhole, and rifles rose to cover it. Two more mercenaries emerged as though all the hounds of Hell were behind them.

"What is it?" Colin asked the closest one. "What's down there?"

"The snake," the man babbled. "The demon snake. The one on the news. It's chasing everyone. It's eating everyone. And she's riding on its back and laughing. Arrest me, I'll confess to everything. Just don't let it get me!"

That clarified matters considerably. Colin had viewed the ABB footage of the creature called 'Snek', and had been present for Mouse Protector's debriefing on the matter. He'd also read every other report on the thing, though he hadn't been able to turn up in time for the armoured-truck heist before Snek and the girl called 'Lady Swarm' departed.

Which just begged one more question. "Who is riding on its back?" he asked. "Mouse Protector, a girl in a bug-themed costume, or Bonesaw?" His next move depended on which answer he got.

"Tattletale!" the guy yelped. "It's Tattletale! I'll tell you everything! Just don't let it get me!"

Behind his visor, Colin blinked. What does Tattletale have to do with all this?

<><>​

Tattletale

Lisa was still grinning as Snek moved along the concrete passageway with a weird sort of caterpillar-motion that she'd never heard of snakes using before. Coil, groaning slightly, hung in Snek's mouth like a limp stick of celery. The PRT should already be onsite, considering that she'd called them some time ago, and she'd decided that handing over her ex-boss to them would be just a teensy bit more satisfying than having Snek treat him like a chewy meat snack.

As they emerged into fresh air, she saw a bunch of PRT guys, as well as a couple of superheroes. The mercenaries were easy to pick out; they were the ones covered in containment foam, who let out little shrieks as Snek slid out of the opening. "Oh, hey," she said conversationally. "Nice to see you got my call. You, uh, you can stop pointing the guns now. They'll only tickle him, and if I get hurt, he'll get mad."

Carefully, Snek spat Coil's limp body out onto the gravel. "That iss true," he confirmed. "Ssnek not like ladiess or children get hurt."

Armsmaster waved a hand. "Everyone, stand down," he ordered. "Tattletale, correct? And … Snek?"

"Hello, pointy metal sstick man," Snek said, instantly cementing him in Tattletale's heart as her favourite gigantic snake ever. "Ssnek iss Ssnek. Here iss white ssnake man. Iss too sstringy to eat. Will get sstuck in teeth. Pointy metal sstick man can have."

Lisa, who was giggling too hard by this point to form coherent words, nodded and waved her hand in a general gesture of agreement. She might've been the one to coach Snek on what to say, but it was still hilarious when he said it. And 'pointy metal stick man' had been all his idea.

"It ate three of our men!" shouted one of the mercenaries. "I saw it!" When Snek looked over at him, he ducked behind his fellows.

Recovering enough to talk, Lisa cleared her throat. "They were trying to shoot me," she pointed out. "And throwing grenades. Snek ate the grenades, didn't you, Mister Snek?" She patted the enormous scaled head fondly.

"Yess, purple girl," Snek replied happily. "They were sspiccy. Like sshouty fire metal man. Ssnek likess sspiccy food."

A pained chuckle from the ground drew Lisa's attention. "You're screwed," Coil said, then coughed. "Ow. Your pet monster has screwed you up so hard. There's a monster in my basement that nobody can stop. This city's going to burn."

"What, like it was going to burn when you were going to just leave and tell nobody you were going?" asked Lisa. "So … the only difference is that you're going to be here to enjoy it along with us?"

<><>​

Armsmaster

"I've heard enough." Colin stepped forward. "Coil, you're under arrest. We'll present you with a list of charges once we've assembled it." He raised his voice. "Put the word out. We're locking this place down until we can go in there and deal with this 'monster' he's talking about." Of course, he'd be leading the expedition.

"Monsster?" asked Snek eagerly. "Can Ssnek eat monsster?"

"Wait, wait," said Tattletale. "Is this 'monster' a member of the Travellers? Because they moved in down there just a little while ago."

This was news to Colin. He'd heard of the Travellers, but not that they were in Brockton Bay.

Coil chuckled painfully, but didn't speak. Tattletale's lips thinned. "That means 'yes'."

"So … the Travellers are still down there, in the base?" Colin frowned. This put a new complexion on matters. Assaulting a prepared position, with a bunch of supervillains defending it, would be problematic in the extreme.

"Ssnek not know Travellerss," the giant snake put in. "Can Ssnek eat monsster?"

Tattletale cleared her throat. "The Travellers are a bunch of capes, like me and—" she smirked— "pointy metal stick man. They've got powers. One of them is the monster. Don't eat the rest of them."

"Ssnek undersstandss." With a swooping dip to his neck, the giant reptile somehow left Tattletale standing in front of Colin. "Ssnek will bring Travellerss."

"But—" Before Armsmaster could do more than register a brief protest, a portal formed in midair, and the snake dived into it. He'd seen the footage of this happening, but seeing it and being there when it happened were two different things.

"Well," said Tattletale. "That was, uh, that was a thing." She looked a little ruffled.

"Where did it go?" asked Colin. "When it said it was bringing the Travellers—"

A portal opened and the enormous head protruded for just long enough to spit out a costumed girl. She landed on her butt with a startled yelp, then looked around at the assembled PRT troopers. Colin belatedly recognised her as Sundancer, of the Travellers.

"Uh … I surrender?" she ventured.

"Good move," Colin said approvingly, just as another portal opened. This time, Snek spat out not just a person, but also the wheelchair she was sitting in. Colin didn't recognise her at all, which raised a few questions.

"What the fuck?" asked the girl in the wheelchair. "What just happened? What was that thing?"

Tattletale began to giggle again. "Congratulations. You've just been Snekked."

Three more people were spat out in quick succession, all men; two were in costume, recognisable as Trickster and Ballistic of the Travellers, but the third also lacked a costume. Colin figured he'd learn who he was soon enough.

With its head still protruding from the portal, Snek announced, "Ssnek fight monsster now! Fun!"

"No!" The young man with the top hat—it had fallen off when he was spat out of the portal—raised one hand, as though to stop the snake. "Noelle doesn't mean any harm! It's her power doing everything!"

Snek paused. "Not monsster? No fight? No eat?" He sounded positively disappointed.

"No," said Trickster wretchedly. "Her power went wrong. It's not her fault. Don't kill her, please."

"Ssnek take to Masster," the snake decided. "Masster fix. Masster fix Riley, Masster fix not-monsster No-elle. Masster fix anything."

It vanished again, and Colin looked at Tattletale. "Do you have any idea who this 'Masster' is?"

"Search me." The teenage girl spread her hands in the classic 'no idea' gesture. "I just met him a little while ago. All I know is, he's really enthusiastic about what he does."

"Why, yes," he said dryly. "I had gathered that." He tilted his helmet toward her. "Now, we come to the matter of your role in all this."

She glanced from side to side, suddenly looking more than a little hunted. "Uh, can we just call it quits? I mean, you've just cleared up two gangs in the city for the price of one. Just saying."

He nodded. "True. So, I have a question. Why were you in his base?"

She fidgeted. "Um … quick question."

"Yes?"

"If I tell you everything I know about Coil, could I maybe not go to prison?"

He smiled. "We'll see."



End of Part Six

 

[ThedudeManBro]

Snek truly is, the goodest of the Bestest of Good Bois.

QQ should have a Holiday for Snek: Snekday, where we release millions of snakes on the site and we all boop their snoots.
Wait actually don't-​

 

[One-who-reads]

EEEEEEEEEEE! Snek Returns! Snek is Best Boy!

 

[Mastersgt]

Kinda want Snek to be able to control his size... became a scarf-snek for Taylor. Enlarging to be ENORMOUS and floating in space to either eat the Simurgh, or to take her to Masster to save/help her.

 

[Anor]

He smiled. "We'll see."

Click to shrink...

Greed is a sin, Colin.

 

[meloa789]

I really really wonder how an interaction between Snek and Scion would go. Hell, I ask the same question for his Master and Scion too.

 

[Ack]

I really really wonder how an interaction between Snek and Scion would go. Hell, I ask the same question for his Master and Scion too.

Click to shrink...

At some point we will find out, I suspect.

 

[meloa789]

At some point we will find out, I suspect.

Click to shrink...

Oh that will be glorious.

 

[BJJPanda]

Snek truly is, the goodest of the Bestest of Good Bois.

QQ should have a Holiday for Snek: Snekday, where we release millions of snakes on the site and we all boop their snoots.
Wait actually don't-​

Click to shrink...

I swear every fic that I read I see you in the comments, your consistency is amazing

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Seven: Noelle

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]

Elsewhere

Noelle opened her eyes with a gasp and sat up. The dream she'd been having was so vivid, her heart was still racing. She'd been in Coil's base, and something had been happening outside, and nobody was answering the comm panel … and then something had invaded her space.

The beast with which she was merged had attacked immediately, of course. The intruder was long and sinuous and insanely strong, and had wrapped her monstrous body up until she was immobilised. Then, in a weird hissing voice, like a cartoon snake, it had apologised to her and asked its master for help.

After that … the dream had gotten even weirder, if that was possible. She had flashes of a huge room made only from stone, and a bearded man chanting in a language that made her head hurt. It hurt the beast even more but there was no fighting back, as the impossible … snake? … permitted no escape from its coils.

One tiny detail that stuck in her memory: the snake had been wearing a normal-sized hat, one that refused to fall off even when the massive head was upside down. If nothing else had convinced her this was a dream, that would have.

The dream ended there, which left her obscurely disappointed. She kind of wondered where it had been going with the snake imagery, and the wizard in the castle; she'd played enough Ransack to be fairly certain of that particular fact. A high-level mage, she mused, pulling back the covers and swinging her legs over the side of the four-poster bed. Casting a ritual spell. That would definitely be something to see.

Then she froze and slammed her eyes shut. Holding absolutely still, she breathed in and out, in and out. Carefully, actually taking in details for the first time, she ran her hands over the sheets she was sitting on. She was no expert, but they felt very high-quality; something like Egyptian cotton.

She hadn't been able to sleep in a real bed, with or without sheets, for longer than she wanted to think about.

Next, she moved her feet over what they were resting on, curling her toes (that she surely no longer had) to capture the strands of what felt like a fluffy rug. Scrubbing her soles back and forth, she enjoyed the sensation of the softness against her bare feet.

Finally, she plucked at the winter-weight pyjamas that someone had dressed her in. Pinching at the thick, comfortable cloth, she felt her thigh beneath … and her thigh registered the pressure of her fingers.

Then she opened her eyes and looked to see if her sense of touch had been deceiving her. If this was the case, then her eyes were being similarly hoodwinked. Her legs, clad in flannel pyjama pants adorned with images of a red and gold dragon in flight, did indeed protrude over the side of the bed—definitely a four-poster—and her bare toes were absolutely entwined in some kind of fluffy rug.

I have to be still dreaming, she decided. It's the only explanation.

With that in mind, she stood up, wondering at the sensation of pressure against the soles of her feet in … how long had it been since she'd last walked normally as a human? Months? A year? Far too long, anyway. It seemed both too easy and too hard. She felt she should be either falling flat on her face or walking without effort, but her progress was somewhere in between; a little difficult, but manageable all the same.

There was a window on the far side of the room, letting out into the open air. She made the trek without more than a stumble or two, though the bare flagstones were chilly under her feet. Leaning on the sill, she looked out … and gasped with wonder.

Before her stretched a panorama of sublime beauty. The building she was in, almost certainly a castle from its all-stone construction, was perched atop a large hill or small mountain, clad in green pine trees and sloping away to the plains that stretched far out to the horizon. She could pick out what she suspected were villages here and there, within the intricate patchwork of cultivated fields.

Overhead, the dome of the sky was a brilliant, almost eye-hurting blue, with sunlight slanting in from the left, though the solar orb was just out of her sight. The moon was also in the sky, though her awareness of this being a dream returned as she was easily able to pick out an impossible ring around it, like Saturn in miniature.

And then a flock of dragons flew past. Not large ones, as she'd always imagined them to be, but about eighteen inches to two feet long and brilliantly coloured, no two the same. A couple turned their heads and chirped agreeably, then they were gone again.

"Whoa," she murmured, leaning on the sill, her knees suddenly weak. That encounter had been far too real; she'd been able to pick out the sunlight glinting off the tiny, perfect scales, the multiple needle-sharp teeth in their jaws, even the fact that they were terminally cute.

Turning away from the window, she leaned back on the wall beside the frame, breathing deeply. For something purporting to be a dream, it was feeling more and more real by the second. Dreams were primarily visual and audible in nature; smells led to visuals of food, and dream-touch was unreliable at best. Yet she could still feel the texture of the stone floor under her feet, and the grain in the wood of the window frame. Likewise, even though she wasn't facing the window anymore, she could smell the pure, crisp mountain air.

Is this a dream or isn't it? The evidence of her eyes told her it was; everything else she could sense had another opinion on the matter. Maybe I'm hallucinating. She'd never done any drugs stronger than weed or alcohol, and those only in moderation, so she only had the vaguest idea what a trip was like.

She leaned out the window again to have another look at the ringed moon—that shouldn't be possible, at all—then turned to survey the room for anything else out of the ordinary. All she found was a dresser with a serviceable-looking chair in front of it, and a wardrobe; all on the far side of the bed that she'd gotten up from. Beside the dresser was a heavy-looking wooden door, currently closed.

You are in a maze of winding passages, all alike … She shook her head, dispelling the memory. There was something on the chair; from where she was, it looked almost like folded clothing. She'd never seriously attended a Renfaire, though she and Krouse had talked about it a few times. What sort of clothing would whoever had left her in a four-poster bed expect her to wear?

The fact that they'd also left her in extremely comfortable flannel pyjamas was another data point that she couldn't quite mesh with the rest.

Heading over to the chair, she found herself stepping onto another soft, warm rug, twice as welcome now that she'd spent a little time standing on the cold stone floor. On the chair were … well, a T-shirt and jeans, along with modern-looking underwear, including socks. Under the chair, she found a very ordinary pair of sneakers. Ordinary for Earth Aleph, that is, back before this whole horrific odyssey had begun. Not so ordinary for wherever and whenever this place was.

She was just about to start changing into the new clothing when she spotted the note resting on the dresser. It appeared to be inscribed on actual, real parchment with (if she wasn't much mistaken) a genuine quill pen. While the clothing was anachronistic, the note was right on point for the bedroom and (for that matter) the entire castle. Carefully, she picked it up and read it. Although inscribed with slightly archaic lettering, it was in perfectly calligraphed—and readable—English.

My dear Miss Meinhardt,

I hope this missive finds you well. Clothing has been left out for you that I believe suits the style for your local version of civilisation. However, should you wish to dress in a more (or less) formal manner, other options may be found within the wardrobe.

Once you are ready to leave the room, merely open the door and my loyal Snek will attend to your needs. I await your arrival, as you will surely have questions.

Yours,

The Master of the Castle

PS: I would not advise using the wardrobe to seek a different fantastical world. I have taken care to block all such realms from intruding upon my Castle.

PPS: When you meet Snek, try not to overburden him with questions. He possesses a simple soul and a large heart.

PPPS: Yes, this is indeed real. I await your company.

Click to shrink...

Noelle read the note through twice more before putting it down again. About to reach for the clothing on the chair, she paused. "Other options?" she asked herself out loud. "Okay, this I have to see."

The heavy door to the wardrobe looked as though it should creak menacingly as she opened it, but it made not a sound. Suspended on a mannequin dangling from an overhead track was a silken kimono, the pattern showing a great serpent winding around large hills and through small villages. It looked very cool indeed, but Noelle wanted to see what else there was, so she gave the mannequin a sideways push.

It rumbled sideways on the track, and another one came into view. This one sported a classic little black dress of the type worn by women determined to get out on the town and have fun, dammit!

Noelle snorted and shook her head. Whoever this guy was, showing off her brand-new legs wasn't likely to change his opinion of her. She pushed the dress aside; the mannequin rumbled on the track, and a full-on floofy princess dress came into view, complete with diamonds and seed pearls sewn into the fabric. Two things occurred to her at this point; first, the wardrobe, which appeared to be a free-standing structure, was in no way capable of containing everything she'd seen in it so far, and second, whoever had commissioned that dress in her size (because it damn well looked like it) either had more money than God, or didn't need money at all.

While she absolutely wanted to be wearing that dress when she saw Krouse next, just to watch his jaw bounce off the floor a few times, it wasn't in her plans to put it on right now. So she shoved the mannequin aside, then kept them moving, almost as though she were flipping through a catalogue.

Business suit … cocktail dress … bikini … chainmail bikini, complete with shortsword and light helmet … flamenco dress … ballerina outfit … pirate outfit, smelling faintly of the ocean … classic ninja outfit (okay, now she knew the guy had to be messing with her) … full articulated plate armour, complete with heavy sword … an odd outfit, made of sturdy leathers, with a pair of brass-framed goggles hanging around the neck …

Sitting back on the bed, she shook her head. The choices seemed endless, and she'd been absolutely correct; there was no way that wardrobe was a simple wooden box on legs. While the letter had removed the possibility of a Narnia-style effect, it was probably still a lot bigger on the inside.

She wondered if her gaming background was the reason that she wasn't losing her mind right about now. Her time playing Ransack, and other games before that, had accustomed her to the weird and wonderful. She could accept the idea of a wizard casting a spell, or tiny dragons flying past the window of a castle, without immediately jumping straight to "that's impossible and I refuse to believe it". An improbably large closet didn't even need that; anyone who'd watched Doctor Who before it went off the air was familiar with that concept.

The plate armour beckoned to her, as did the chainmail bikini, for entirely different reasons (Krouse's expression would be amazing if she showed up in that) but in the end she made another choice altogether.

There was room under the leathers for the jeans and T-shirt, so she donned those first, but she left the socks and shoes behind. The leather outfit had knee-length thick socks which clung to her legs like a second skin; tiny brass clips at the top made sure they'd stay up. After the rest of the outfit went on—she had to figure it out as she went along, but the snaps, clips and clasps were relatively easy to figure out—she pulled the boots on, admiring the textured leather and the subtle dyes that had been worked into it. They had a moderate heel to them, with a thick base; she approved.

Pulling the goggles on, but leaving them up on her forehead, she admired herself in the mirror over the dresser. "Damn," she muttered. "I look badass." The person she saw in the mirror looked like she was preparing to jump feet-first into an epic adventure.

Her self-esteem boosted considerably, she headed for the door. Pulling on the handle, she heard the lock-tongue sliding out of its slot, then the door opened. Again, it entirely failed to creak either menacingly or eerily; it simply opened, as smoothly as silk.

The corridor beyond was well-lit, by torches in sconces along the walls. They burned steadily with a purple flame, but Noelle chose to ignore that. She'd seen far weirder things in the last five minutes. However, the corridor was also empty, for dozens of yards in both directions.

"Hello?" she called out, looking to the left and then to the right. "Huh," she mused, rubbing her chin. "So much for—"

"Hello, not-monsster No-Elle." The voice—hissing and very familiar—came from right behind her. "Ssnek iss here to help you."

Noelle froze. There'd been nothing behind her, just seconds before. Slowly, she turned, and came face to (extremely large) snout with the biggest damn snake she'd ever seen. While it didn't fill the corridor completely, it certainly went a long way toward doing so. It regarded her in return with what she could only read as a polite and curious expression.

Also, it was wearing a normal-sized fedora in the middle of its head.

"S-Snek?" she asked, wanting to facepalm. The Master of the Castle said its name was Snek. What else would it be other than a damn great snake?

"Yess, not-monsster No-Elle," the snake said, its hissing accent more apparent on the sibilants. "Ssnek iss Ssnek. Masster hass ssent Ssnek to help you. Iss not-monsster No-Elle hungry?"

"Oh. Right." She was still getting around its odd name for her. 'Not-monster Noelle', indeed. At the word 'hungry', her stomach woke up and rumbled. "Uh, maybe? A little?" Maybe it could show her where the kitchens were.

"Ssnek hass food." The capacious mouth opened, showing a truly impressive display of fangs, ranging from the length of her little finger to as long as her arm, and all needle-pointed. From out of the back of the throat extended a weird tongue-like affair, multibranched and clearly used as a grasping appendage. It was holding a wooden bowl of fruit; an apple, a neatly-quartered orange, a banana and a bunch of grapes.

"Uhh, thank you … Snek." She accepted the bowl, noting that it was entirely dry, not slimy with saliva as she would've expected it to be.

"Not-monsster No-Elle iss welcome." Releasing the bowl, the tongue retreated into the snake's enormous mouth, which in turn closed. "Ssnek keep many thingss in not-eat placce."

Okay, so the giant talking snake has a bag of holding in its throat. Good to know.

Balancing the bowl on one arm, she took the banana and peeled it, then ate it. The apple went next, each bite assuaging the rumbling in the pit of her stomach. She finished off the orange and grapes a little more slowly, enjoying every bite. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she'd last had something so good, but it certainly wasn't recently.

"Okay, wow. That was amazing," she said, dropping the empty grape stalks back in the bowl. "Thanks again, Snek. You do a very nice breakfast."

"Ssnek iss happy not-monsster No-Elle iss happy," Snek replied, sticking his tongue out to take the bowl. "Ssnek take not-monsster No-Elle to Masster now?"

Noelle handed it over. "Uh, sure. Oh, and you can just call me Noelle, you know. If you want."

"Ssnek ussess what Masster callss desscriptor for new friendss. Funny hat man ssaid No-Elle wass not monsster, so not-monsster No-Elle." The snake poised itself, then made a fast diving swoop with its head that left Noelle sitting astride its neck before she really knew it. "Not-monsster No-Elle hold on."

Instinctively, Noelle tightened her grip with her legs as the snake started down the corridor, but her attention was elsewhere. "Funny hat? You mean Krouse? Uh, Trickster? What happened to him, and the others?"

One enormous eye rolled up to look at her. "Ssnek not know. Left all alive. Not-monsster No-Elle need help, sso brought to Masster."

Wait, holy shit. That means it wasn't—

Snek poised himself, then a portal formed in front of his head. He lunged through in a blur of motion, carrying Noelle with him, and came out in another corridor, with a large, imposing door in front of them.

—a dream after all. This is real.

Carefully, Snek bumped the door three times with his snout. He seemed to be counting under his breath as he did so; Noelle wasn't sure why.

"Come in, Snek," a masculine voice called. "And Miss Meinhardt, welcome to my Castle."

Noelle watched as Snek reached out with his tongue and opened the door, then they slithered through. Snek came to a halt, allowing her to climb off his neck and look around.

Standing before her was the man she'd glimpsed in what she'd thought were dreams. Though his beard was long and gray, he was tall and imposing. If nothing else, he looked like her own personal mental image of Gandalf. Aiding and abetting this impression was the gnarled wooden staff free-standing beside him. But if he was a mage, what he was standing in was most definitely a mage's workshop. In all directions were workbenches with any number of strange contraptions ticking (or bubbling) away. Overhead, hanging from the ceiling, was a taxidermied dragon, if she'd ever seen one.

But she was being rude, and that was the very last impression she wanted to give right now. "Uh … thank you for … everything?" she managed. "Did I … am I … did you … is this really real?"

"Yes." He inclined his head briefly. "You were in a rather poor state when I brought you and Snek across from that unfortunate world which you occupy. It took me almost an hour to determine how to free you from the creature that was sharing your body without killing you in the process. However, I learned several useful things along the way, so it was a fruitful endeavour on both sides. How are you feeling in the aftermath?"

She smiled automatically, though her mind was whirling from the implications of his matter-of-fact speech. He figured out how to cure me in less than an hour. Who is this guy? "Uh … I'm feeling great. Having legs again is amazing. So … I'm free free? It won't happen again?"

His smile was kindly, if a little acerbic. "Just so long as you can restrain yourself from imbibing potions of unknown veracity, I believe that is the case, yes. You are entirely cured of the powers with which you were cursed. The question is: what do you wish to do with yourself now?"

"Uh …" She tried to nail down her racing thoughts. "Before I make any decisions, what's happened to Krouse? I mean, my boyfriend, Francis. He and his friends … my friends … I don't know where they are."

He nodded to acknowledge the question. "Your paramour and other companions are alive and well, albeit in the custody of the Parahuman Response Teams. Mr. Krouse is worried about you."

"Can you put me in contact with him?" She was pleased Krouse was thinking of her, but less happy about the whole situation. "I want to let him know I'm okay."

"That can be achieved with a simple sending, if you wish." He raised a shaggy eyebrow. "Your options are as follows: first, I can bring them all here, remove their powers, and allow you to make your way in my world. You will find it to be not unlike the game you once played together. I notice you have already found the dragon-riding leathers."

That derailed Noelle's train of thought altogether. She stared down at the leathers, the possibilities exploding in her mind. Dragon-riding? I can ride dragons?

"Second," he continued. "I can send you back into that world, unpowered, to do as you wish. Third, I can remove them from their imprisonment and move you all to your original world. Once more, to do as you wish. The choice is yours."

Well, damn. If she'd been asked that question a day ago, the answer would've been simple: go back home to Aleph.

Now … it was anything but.

What do I do?



End of Part Seven

 

[Ancalador]

What do I do?

Click to shrink...

If someone gives you a chance to ride dragons, Noelle, you ride the god-damn dragons!

 

[MissileTeatime]

Okay, so the giant talking snake has a bag of holding in its throat. Good to know.

Click to shrink...

If this wasn't a crack-fic, this would be quite horrifying.

 

[thethomas]

If this wasn't a crack-fic, this would be quite horrifying.

Click to shrink...

It's even horrifying in a crack fic. I interpreted it as her being in shock.

 

[Neruz]

What do I do?

Click to shrink...

Girl. When someone gives you the opportunity to ride dragons, you bloody well go and ride some dragons!

 

[SirDawg]

Noelle: What do I do?
QQ:When someone gives you the opportunity to ride dragons, you bloody well go and ride some dragons!
Rule 34 Artists: Riding a Dragon, you say?

 

[Ack]

Snek is a Good Boy

Part Eight: Snek Helps!

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal].


Noelle ran her hands through her hair … which, now that she came to think of it, felt like it had been shampooed and conditioned into the most gorgeous softness and fluffiness, far different from the results of the crappy low-end products Krouse had been able to acquire for her up until now (and it wasn't as though she'd had access to a shower she could actually fit into for some time).

"Before I make this decision, can I ask a few questions?" She had a lot of questions for him, but not all of them related to where she should go.

"You may." The Master of the Castle gave her a nod that was in equal parts approving and reassuring. "I would prefer that you make this decision with all the information available to you."

"Uh, okay." All the questions crowded the forefront of her mind, and she picked one out of the crush. "Do we all have to do the same thing? I mean, what if some of us want to stay on Bet, some want to stay here, and some what to go back to Aleph?"

"Then you will go where you choose," he said, confirming her assumption. "Snek may check in on you from time to time, but unless you seek aid from him, I will initiate no further contact with you."

"Right, um …" She tried to think of another pertinent question. Snek bumped his head up alongside her thigh, and she absent-mindedly skritched him behind where his ear would be. "This might sound weird, but since I woke up, I've felt better than I have in literally months. Is this just because you gave me my legs back, or what's the deal with that?"

"Ah, yes." He gestured and a totally lifelike—if only eighteen inches tall—image of the Simurgh appeared between them. "This creature had impressed upon you and your comrades a series of compulsions driving you toward actions that would result in unpleasant repercussions within your world. I removed those compulsions as a matter of course. And yes, I will do the same with your comrades, should they choose to be healed with my magics."

Despite knowing that it wasn't real, Noelle recoiled half a step. "I-I was … we were all … Simurgh bombs?" Closing her eyes, she ran her hands through her hair again. "And you can just take that away again?"

Snek rubbed his head against her leg again. "Masster iss very wisse."

She gave the gigantic snake another scratch. He seemed to enjoy it. "So I'm gathering." Looking up at the Master of the Castle again, she voiced another question. "One of my friends, Jess, is in a wheelchair. If you fixed my legs, you can fix that, right?"

"He won't need to. I can handle that bit." A girl of about twelve or thirteen, with brass-bound goggles similar to those Noelle had acquired pushed up onto her forehead, along with leather apron and gloves over what looked like perfectly ordinary t-shirt and jeans, strolled out of another part of the workshop. "Hi, I'm Riley. I'm the one who shampooed your hair last night. Boy, did you need it." Coming over to where Noelle stood with Snek, she casually booped the enormous reptile's snout with her fist, then offered her hand to shake.

"Hi." Noelle shook the girl's hand, not entirely sure what was going on. "Noelle. Are you, uh, from around here?"

"Hah, no." Riley gestured toward the Master, who was watching them with interest. "The boss there fixed me up after Snek rescued me from a situation that was about on par with yours. I chose to stick around and help out afterward, because who'd go back to that dumpster fire when all this was a choice, right?"

"Mmm." Noelle found Riley's comments resonating with her thoughts, but she did her best to keep her options open. "Um, another question. Does dragon riding really happen? Because if that one up there is an adult dragon, I'm thinking it might be a little small to be ridden." Looking up, she gestured at the red-and-gold winged reptilian form on display. While larger than the tiny dragons that had flown past her window, it was still only about twenty feet long.

"A cogent question." The Master's tone was approving. "Riley, would you and Snek like to show Noelle the dragons, and explain the situation? I will be here, in the event of any more questions that require answering."

"Sure!" Riley eagerly scrambled up on Snek's back, where Noelle had been sitting before. "C'mon, get on."

"Okay, then …" It seemed that riding a giant snake was the least weird new experience she was going to have today. Climbing on to Snek's back, she settled herself into place behind Riley. "So, are we going through one of those portals? That was trippy."

"Not insside Masster'ss worksshop," Snek said as he turned and wriggled to the door. That weird multibranched tongue turned the handle, and they slithered out into the corridor. "Masster doess not like wriggle-hole in worksshop. Bad thingss happen."

"Um, okay?" Noelle said uncertainly. "What bad things?"

"Oh, the boss does a lot of interdimensional stuff," Riley said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Snek's portals have a chance of interfering with that. That's why we use the door—whee!"

The exclamation at the end came because Snek had somehow closed the door with his tail, then opened one of those portals. There was a moment of extreme acceleration, then Noelle found herself blinking around at a sunlit vista.

"… whoa," she whispered.

She was still on the mountain; that much was abundantly clear. To one side was the panorama she'd witnessed before from her window, or something remarkably similar to it. But underfoot, it looked as though someone had sliced into the side of the mountain with an unimaginably huge blade, leaving a perfectly flat cut. Then they'd repeated the action, but downward from above, creating a plateau measuring several acres in area, next to a sheer cliff that stretched upward toward the summit far above. More unsettlingly, the cut surfaces had apparently been polished, so she could clearly see the strata that had been left behind.

But that wasn't all of it. It wasn't even close to being all of what had Noelle's heart rate accelerating.

Toward the far end of the flat area, next to neatly carved holes that led into the cliff-face itself, were several dragons. Far larger than the taxidermized specimen in the Master's workshop, with gloriously patterned scales that glittered and gleamed in the sunlight, they appeared for all the world to have been sunning themselves on the rocky surface. Now, they were shifting and turning as heads raised to survey Riley and Noelle.

Dragons. Real dragons. Gorgeous dragons.

"Um …" she began. Are we supposed to run, or stand still, or tell them to 'sit' …?

"Don't worry, they're friendly," Riley assured her. "The nasty ones are the drakes." She paused, glancing up at Noelle. "You don't know? Oh, okay. There's three types of dragon. These ones here are true dragons. They're smart and friendly, and they were bred to take riders. Then there's the hearth-dragons, the cute little ones. They're playful and fun to have around, and they keep the rats down. Not too smart, but they can be trained. And then there's the drakes, like the ones in the workshop. They don't like people, except as food. The boss keeps those ones down in the southern continent, kind of like Bet's Australia and New Zealand added together."

"Ssnek like drakess," Snek added. "Fun to hunt."

Noelle could hear the eye-roll in Riley's voice. "Everything's fun for you to hunt, Snek, because you hunt everything."

"Iss not true," objected Snek. "Ssnek not hunt good people."

"Okay, yeah, you've got a point." Riley slid off Snek's back. "So, Noelle, want to meet them? I can introduce you, if you like. They like meeting new people, especially from different places."

"I … uh …" Before Noelle could talk herself out of it, she was on her feet alongside Riley. After all, how many people got to meet a real live dragon?

As they walked closer, the few dragons who had not been aware of them were nudged, and all of them began to get up. Catlike, they stretched and yawned; scaly spines curved and wings unfurled to quite startling lengths as toothy jaws opened wide. She could see their muscles moving, the power inherent in their great bodies almost palpable even at a distance.

Still, something was bothering her. "What do you mean, 'bred' to take riders?" She wasn't sure if she was comfortable with the idea of taking advantage of an intelligent slave. In fact, she knew she wasn't.

The question didn't faze Riley. "These guys, all dragons, are native to a world where they were bred by the local population for riding, for entertainment, for fighting. But there was a war. When the boss found them a few thousand years ago, they'd killed each other off. Their surviving dragons had starved to death. But he found a few eggs here and there, buried and hidden under ice, and salvaged them. He hatched them out and took away all the slave impulses, but left the true dragons so they could take riders if they wanted. Most true dragons have their own communities in the mountains, but a few hang out near humans, because they think we're cute."

||Well, you are cute.|| The mental 'voice', deep and resonant, came as a severe surprise to Noelle, and she looked around. Two of the dragons had come their way, and were now basically looming over them. Somehow, she got the impression it was the foremost one, splendid in green and gold, who had 'spoken'.

||Who's your friend, Riley?|| asked the other one, patterned in red and silver. ||We haven't seen her around here before.||

"This is Noelle, guys." Riley grinned up at them. "She's new here. Still deciding if she wants to stay."

"Ssnek found not-monsster Noelle, brought to Masster to fix," Snek announced proudly.

The attention of the dragons, gazing at her from eyes almost as bejewelled as their bright-coloured scales, sharpened somewhat. ||'Not-monster Noelle'?|| asked the green and gold dragon. ||I would wager there is a story behind that name.||

"There sure is, but I'm totally forgetting my manners." Riley pointed at the green and gold dragon. "Noelle, meet Cirrus. And this is his mate Finesse. Those are the names we get to use anyway. They just use mental impressions between themselves."

"Uh, hi." Noelle essayed a tiny wave. "I just want to say, you both look amazing. You all look amazing. And I'm really pleased to meet you."

Cirrus turned to Finesse. ||Did you hear that, dearest? She said I look amazing.|| Flexing one wing, he preened.

Finesse rolled her eyes, which on a dragon was quite an expressive gesture. ||She said we all look amazing, you conceited lizard.|| She turned her attention back to Noelle, sweeping her head down low until they were almost eye to eye. ||But I could not help noticing that you are wearing riding leathers. Are you perhaps seeking a riding partner?||

||What? No! I saw her first!|| protested Cirrus.

"Whoa, guys, guys," Riley said, waving her hands to get their attention. "She's new here, and she's never ridden a dragon before. Don't scare her off, okay?"

||I am the gentlest flyer of this Dragonmark,|| Finesse stated loftily. ||Ask anyone.||

"Well, this is true," agreed Riley, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. She ignored Finesse poking her tongue out at Cirrus, and turned to Noelle. "So, what do you say? Let Finesse take you up until you're used to it, and then take a spin with Cirrus?" Leaning in close, she whispered behind her hand, "He'll sulk for days otherwise, and he's a total pain if he gets that way."

||You know I can still hear you,|| Cirrus stated. ||And I do not sulk.||

Noelle blinked. She'd seen many strange sights in her life to date, especially since getting powers, but a pouting dragon would have to be near the top of the list.

"I, uh, that sounds cool," she said. Meanwhile, her inner self was running around in circles, madly throwing confetti in the air. I'm gonna ride a dragon! I'm gonna ride a dragon! "Do I need to do anything to prepare?"

||No, dear one,|| Finesse said warmly, crouching even lower until her long neck was invitingly next to Noelle. ||If you can climb up just in front of my shoulders, you should find a comfortable spot. My scales will provide ample handholds.||

As if in a dream, Noelle did as she was directed. The boots had a gripping sole that gave her a good purchase on the side of the dragon's neck, and before she knew it, she was seated astride. Almost immediately, she grasped what Riley had meant about them being bred for riding; there was subtle but noticeable contouring that afforded her a comfortable seat and room to clamp her legs into place.

There was no bridle, nor reins to hang on to, but she suspected such things would be superfluous at best and offensive at worst. A bump in the spine covered in rough scales offered her a handgrip of sorts, and she grasped it.

||Are you ready?|| Finesse turned her head so that Noelle could see the immense eye regarding her in return. ||I will fly gently. Call out if you are in distress.||

"I-I'm ready," she managed. "Let's do this." Some small part of her cynically observed that even if she was terrified (she wasn't, not really, just nervous) she'd still go through with it, because if riding a damn dragon wasn't on the top of every gamer's bucket list, it should be.

||Here … we … go …!|| Rather than take off vertically—which Noelle suspected they were perfectly capable of doing—Finesse trotted toward the drop-off, wings spreading dramatically outward. They had looked tremendously wide before, but now that she was more or less between them, Noelle had the impression of sitting atop a circus tent. Dragons, she noted absently, had a much wider wingspan than a 747.

And then they were over the edge, but not falling exactly. Finesse, perhaps showing why she preferred the name, had brought her wings down at precisely the right moment, so they transitioned from ground movement to air movement with hardly a jolt. Noelle saw the ground falling away below her—far below her—and redoubled her grip, but all that came out of her throat was a squeak of excitement.

The great wings beat again, and then again, and they were flying. Soaring. As they circled in the sunlight, Noelle looked over at the mountain they had just left, with the castle built into the side and the large area carved away for the dragons. Riley was just a speck in the distance, and Snek a tiny wavy line.

A flapping noise distracted her, and she looked around just as a flock of the tiny iridescent dragons she'd seen earlier flew closer, matching speed with the much larger creature. "Oh, wow," she said. "What are those ones called, again?"

||You mean the hearth-dragons?|| Finesse's mental voice was warm and pleasant. ||They love to fly with us, and we with them.||

Noelle watched the smaller dragons performing loops and barrel rolls, and showing off for each other and for Finesse. "I can see why." One came swooping in and landed on Finesse's neck, right in front of her, and let out a sound partway between a chirp and a squawk. There were no words involved, but Noelle got the message and ran her nails up under its jaw. It burbled happily and rubbed its snout against her arm.

||So, do you enjoy flying, Noelle?|| asked Finesse.

Noelle looked down at the ground far below, which no longer held terrors for her. Beneath her, the dragon flew on steadily, while the accompanying hearth-dragons chirped to each other and to the one she was petting.

"Oh, yeah," she said, euphoria filling every syllable. "Definitely."

I could do this for the rest of my life.

<><>​

She was still walking on air as she travelled back with Riley to the Master's workshop. Snek went through the ritual of knocking three times on the door; as expected, the Master called out, "Enter!"

Snek opened the door and slithered inside, and Noelle climbed off. Her legs were a little shaky from squeezing with her thigh muscles for so long, especially since those same muscles were brand new, but she had no trouble standing.

The Master of the Castle looked her over. "Have you made up your mind what you want to do, Noelle Meinhardt of Earth Aleph?"

"I have, yes," she agreed. "But I'm going to need to talk to each of them so I can let them know what the options are. Also, there's one other problem."

"Your former comrade," the Master agreed. He raised one eyebrow. "Some might say that he brought his troubles upon himself."

"Yeah, true." Noelle frowned. "But he wouldn't have been in this whole mess without me. I kinda feel like I owe him to get him out of it if I can. Also, he probably wouldn't have done what he did without the Simurgh, and to let him take that fall just isn't fair."

"Hmm." The Master's lips twitched. "Do not necessarily attribute to outside influence behaviour which can be explained as pure obstinance or personal malice."

Noelle sighed. "Yeah, I know. But can we save him from wherever Accord sent him anyway? I mean, if he's even alive?" A chill ran through her as she realised that she'd never even spared a thought to the possibility that the diminutive crime lord may well have had him executed out of hand, as he'd wanted to do with Mars.

"He is indeed still in the land of the living. The Chinese Union-Imperial have inducted him into their Yàngbǎn. Unfortunately, he is not thriving there. Because he knows no conversational Chinese, they are shunning him and refusing to teach him the very language that would allow him to socialise with them." The Master gestured once more, giving her a picture of Cody, wearing a strange uniform, moving in concert with others. A faint shout came to her ears, and they all moved again; raising their hands, they shot fire out of the palms. "On the other side of the coin, he can do no harm where he is, either to you or your friends. What is your choice?"

"I want to talk to him, when it wouldn't draw attention," she said. "He might actually want to stay, and I don't want to get him into trouble. When does he get some downtime?"

"He does not," the Master informed her. "He will train for six hours and attend mandatory lectures for another twelve. There will be forty-five minutes for eating purposes, and five hours for sleep. His next sleep period begins in just over two hours. If you wish to ensure he does not suffer punitive action for speaking to you, that is your chance."

"Wow," Riley said, shaking her head in disgust. "That sounds horrible, and I know what I'm talking about."

Noelle considered asking to speak to Cody immediately. From the description of his situation, he was in the shittiest of shitty situations. Screw it, she told herself. Rescue first, talk later. "Can we just get him out of there, and then I'll talk to him?"

"That is entirely possible." The Master of the Castle turned to Snek, and indicated the image of Cody. "Bring that young man to me, please."

"Ssnek will do that, Masster." Turning, the snake slithered from the room. He closed the door behind him with a flick of the tail, but Noelle was concentrating on the image.

In the next instant, any doubts she may have had about it being a real-time picture were dispelled, as utter confusion overtook the class. Students were barrelled this way and that as Snek emerged from his trademark portal and lunged at Cody, jaws agape to show off his impressive dentition. Just as Snek's mouth closed on Cody's midsection, several of the larger fangs folded back into Snek's jaw; then he kept going, and dived into another portal.

Noelle didn't speak any Chinese at all, but she was fairly sure that she'd just learned the closest equivalent to 'where the fuck did that giant snake come from' that she'd ever hear. People dressed in different uniforms—instructors, she guessed—were still staring at Snek's path of confusion when she heard the three knocks on the laboratory door.

"Come in, Snek," called the Master, dispelling the image. "And bring our involuntary guest with you, if you don't mind."

The door opened, and Snek wriggled in, looking very pleased with himself. Trapped in the immense jaws, looking like a terminally confused mouse, Cody stared in all directions. "What the hell?" he demanded. "What's going on here? Where am I? Who—wait, Noelle? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Everyone, this is Cody. Cody, important introductions. This is the Master of the Castle, that's Riley, and you've already met Snek. Snek is a very good boy." She briefly considered allowing Cody to remain where he was for a while longer—he'd caused them all sorts of problems, back in the day—then decided that would be beneath her. "Snek, could you please put him down?"

"Yess, not-monsster Noelle," Snek said, and deposited Cody on the floor in an ungraceful heap. "Wass fun resscue. Many people sshouting."

Noelle had already suspected Snek of possessing a sense of humour; for her, that confirmed it. He loved causing chaos.

Putting that knowledge aside, she stepped forward. "Okay, Cody, so this is the deal …"



End of Part Eight

 

[Neruz]

Snek is halping!

 

[GasperVladi0]

Snek is halping!

Click to shrink...

Not just halping, he also has halped and helped.