Chapter 1
New
Soft Hero
Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2023
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This fic will contain cartoony shenanigans, and hot, angry business lady Tanya. If high heels and slight hip sway are a turn off, go no further. If cartoony body proportions are a turn off, go no further. If getting flattened by an anvil is a turn off, go no further.
The toon world is inspired by the likes of ToonTown from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, ToonTown Online, an assortment of disney (especially classical disney cartoons), warner brothers, and other assorted cartoon settings, and a heaping load of original content. Characters may or may not make cameos as the story continues.
This first chapter contains minor blood and the death of Tanya Degurechaff in her soldier life.
The roars of war raged above, screaming into the night. Mages flew through the air like shooting stars from hell. Artillery drummed the ground and made the sky light up with flashes of orange and yellow light. Untold thousands of soldiers charged through the no man's land, many of whom would never see the sun rise.
Tanya laid there in the dirt, hidden away in a crater made earlier. Blood soaked through her shirt as her small body grew colder and colder.
She struggled to scoot herself back, resting her head against the incline of the crater. She held her bleeding side tightly as she grit her teeth.
'Damn you. Damn you Being X.' Tanya growled to herself as she dared to check her injury.
It didn't look good. 'I've lost too much blood. I can't make it out of this damn crater. Medical support?'
Another round of artillery went off, and Tanya's self posed question was answered.
'Unlikely.' She thought grimly as she rested her head and braced herself.
She glared up into the night sky, knowing full well that Being X was watching over her, rooting for her downfall. She locked eyes with a particularly bright star that horrid night.
"I hate you Being X. This challenge was rigged from the start." Tanya hissed at the sky. Her anger bubbling up. "If you were powerful enough to take what you wanted, then why did you bother tormenting me? Was it all for sadistic pleasure?"
Tanya began to cry a little, her anger turning to slight desperation as it felt like the world really was closing in on her. "You sent me here as a child! Doomed to a life of danger from the start! All so you could just dictate a plan you could control from the start!" She cried out in rage.
"I just wanted a nice, safe life! Where the biggest concern was some paperwork!" Tanya howled out as she vented her frustrations, her gallons of emotion pouring out as there was no one to hear her except for an uncaring and cruel god figure.
"Now what?!" Tanya screamed out in anger to hide her fear. She didn't know what would happen if, no… when she were to die. Being X intervened the first time, which revealed otherworldly planes and afterlives and reincarnation.
'Now what?!' Tanya repeated to herself as she realized how her anger was holding her fear at bay. 'Is my soul forfeit? Do I reincarnate and forget everything he's done to me? Tossed aside like some, some lab rat with no further purpose! I hate you Being X!'
Tanya began to lose sensation in her limbs. She knew death was coming for her, and there was nothing she could do about it.
'If I were to pray, I know he would save me.' Tanya thought as she looked up and saw the mages flying overhead. 'It makes me sick…'
The color drained from her face as she realized what this was all about. 'If I pray, he wins. This is all some disgusting, high stakes game of chicken. That means there's only two options.'
'Option one is that I can't be allowed to die here. The game must continue in order for me to lose. So prayer is an illusionary choice, in which accepting means to give in.'
'Option two is that I die, and he loses. I prove that, even when faced with death, I don't need him.' Tanya bit her lip in terrifying thought.
'Under option two, if he loses, what happens next? Does the game reset? Being X doesn't like to lose, so either he forces me to continue and I reincarnate again, or he throws me aside and continues with his plans.' Tanya grit her teeth, sliding her lip free from her teeth as she clutched her side. 'Just like a petulant child. Either throws the game away or screams for wanting to try again.'
'What if he opts to try again? If Being X is immortal, what kind of a time frame is he looking at for temper? What is a short temper to an immortal being?!' Tanya began to feel suffocated, and that was more than the smoke and ash and failing body.
Visions of a horrible future rushed through Tanya's mind, as she realized he was willing to wait for nearly 13 years so far. If she continued, she'd be playing her entire life. What if he kept going until he won? How many lifetimes was too many?! What's to stop him from setting up an even more painful setting to torment her in?
What's to stop him from just sending her to yet another world? Put her back, have her start from scratch all over again, and have it feel a hundred times worse?
Tears ran down her face as she realized just how out of her depth she was dealing with Being X.
'If I am to die, and to face my futures, I will do so with all the stubborn pride I've had up till my death. That's what he wants to take from me. To make me bow and pray to him.' Tanya growled to herself.
She locked eyes with the star that shined so bright in the night sky. "You won't win Being X! You'll never win! I'm not afraid to die!"
Tanya hissed as her vision began to swim. Such a small body, such little blood to lose. A child, just over 12 years old, was bleeding to death in a war crater.
"I won't stop… till I'm free from you." She muttered weakly. Some small part of her was just making a wish for her freedom.
Her vision spun away as darkness began to claim her, and the bright light of the star was the last light she could focus on.
It was cool. Like a comfortable night's sleep on a soft bed. Someone had replaced the dirt and ash with a bed of clouds.
Tanya opened her eyes to see a wide sky of blue, with white puffy clouds. The section of the crater she was laying in was just clouds. Her tight uniform and clunky flying gear, and accursed type 95 were gone. In its place was a comfortable set of pajamas.
"Hello Tanya." A woman spoke with a soft, welcoming voice.
"YOU!" Tanya shouted as she shot up to her feet, ready to fight. "-Aren't Being X…"
There stood a woman in a long, flowing gown. She was dressed like a princess right from a fairy tale. Her crown was adorned with star-like gems, and her outfit favored a soft blue, with shining gems of clear crystal that made her glitter.
In her hands was a wand, tipped with a gem in the same shape as the last star Tanya had seen before passing away.
But the oddest part about the princess was how unreal she looked. She felt like… like an old cartoon. Like Tanya was speaking to a drawing that had come to life.
The room was styled like an extremely large balcony of marble and white stone. Silver linings dotted the walls and railings, creating outline and shape to an otherwise blankly white building.
"Who are you? Where am I?" Tanya asked in a slow, defensive tone as she was still tense. Her fists were balled, yet her somewhat low posture made it clear she was willing to try and run if confrontation began.
"I am the godmother. Queen of stars." She held up a hand to give a light giggle. "But if it's more to your sensibilities, you may call me Lady Y."
Lady Y held the top part of her dress before giving a curtsy bow. She gestured with a wave of her wand. "And welcome to the palace in the sky."
"So you know about Being X?" Tanya asked as she stepped off of her cloud bed. Her eyes scanned for any way out, only to find a single door from the balcony into what appeared to be a palace.
"I am well aware of him, and how much of a hassle he can be to deal with." Lady Y gave a light joke of understanding. "I am truly sorry, my child. No soul should ever have to experience such horrible deeds."
"What do you want with me?" Tanya asked as she slowly began to rotate around the princess, trying to slowly get closer to the door.
"To grant your wish." Lady Y answered truthfully, with a soft smile that said all is well, for I am here. "I heard you crying out after all. And I am a godmother. Wish granting comes with the crown." She gave a little wink.
"What do you get out of this?" Tanya asked, as she understood that nothing was ever offered for free.
Lady Y realized that Tanya was far more skeptical than she had imagined. She gently tapped her wand in her hand, weighing her options. "I get you. You're exactly who I need right now."
"In what way?" Tanya asked as she took another step closer to the door. It wasn't far now.
"In that we can both be winners here. I give you everything you wish for, and when I let you go, I know you'll do everything I could ever hope for. You will not be forced, but I know that you will naturally be what I need." She answered.
Lady Y took a deep breath before sitting down on the cloud bed and placing her wand across her lap. She knew that this would make Tanya feel safe to run to the door, and she wanted to explain herself more fully.
"Being X, as you call him, wanted to shape you into someone you weren't. That's cruel of a god to do to any human. I don't need to change anything about you, nor do I need to force you. I hear you like business terms. He was training a new employee against their will, for his own personal gain. I don't need to train you, when you're everything I'm looking for."
Tanya bit her lip in thought. 'Godlike being… If she was looking for someone, then she'd be able to find whoever she needs. She'd have an effectively infinite pool of potential employees to select from.'
Tanya loosened up a bit, letting go of her combative pose and standing upright. "So… I just name my wish?"
"Be as thorough as you like." Lady Y chimed back softly as she stood up. She placed her hands over her lap, holding her wand loosely.
"I wish…" Tanya gulped a little bit as she was careful. "To be an adult again. To be safe, and free to pursue my life as I see fit."
"Where paperwork is the most of your worries." Lady Y gave a light, knowing smile. "Life's trickier than paperwork, but I have just the way in mind to grant this wish."
She waved her wand at the door. A small stream of sparkly flew out and the door opened, revealing a wall of fog and cloud. "Right through there, and into your new life."
Tanya looked at the fog wall, weighing her odds, and realizing that, even if this was a trick, there was nothing she could do about it otherwise. With so much kindness presented to her, and a seemingly mutual benefit, there was nothing else to do.
Tanya turned back to the godmother, and gave a bow. "Thank you."
She took a deep breath before stepping through the fog wall, and into a seemingly blank void of white fog.
'What happens now-!' Tanya went to think before the ground gave out below her. She plummeted right through the clouds.
"AHHHH!" Tanya screamed out as she fell.
Tanya fell out from the bottom of the palace in the sky. The wind whipping past her in a torrent. Her heart raced as she tried to orientate herself into a wide falling posture.
"Smile, Tanya smile!" A chorus began to sing out to her from the clouds around her, as fairies sat on clouds and sang for her. The fairies were beautiful, albeit notably small, humans with shining, lear wings.
She gasped as her screaming had run out, and she realized this was some sick trick of Lady Y.
Pwuuuf!
Tanya fell through another cloud, and began to feel her body stretch and reshape itself. She felt her limbs and torso lengthen. Years flew by her with a barrage of small growing pains.
She fell out of the cloud and looked down at herself. She had grown up in the matter of seconds.
She was… curvier than she had expected. Her hips were very, very wide compared to her shoulders. Her stomach was narrow, giving her a somewhat hourglass shape. Her legs were thick and strong and healthy.
"This new world is a great world after all!" The fairies continued their song.
No longer was she the sickly child. She was Tanya, the full grown, well fed woman.
Pwuuuf!
Tanya shut her eyes as she hit another cloud. Her outfit ripped away and was replaced with something new.
She fell out to see that she was dressed in an office outfit that clung to her figure. Office beige, cream colored button up shirt, a blazer vest, dress pants that hugged her ass in a pleasant way. And tall high heels, like those seen on office ladies.
"Smile, Tanya smile! And right away watch the godmother repay ya!"
Tanya realized the clouds continued, and braced herself as she went through another.
Pwwoof!
Tanya blinked as she didn't know what had happened, until she looked at herself and realized she looked notably different. Her colors were vibrant. She looked like the godmother.
Then it hit her. She looked like a cartoon character.
"Things are never black as they are painted! Time's long since due for freedom!"
'Wait, where's the ground!' Tanya cried to herself as she realized there were no more clouds. Her eyes locked with the visage of a town below.
"I don't want to die! NOT AGAIN!" Tanya screamed out as she fell away. She began to claw at the air, as if she could somehow gain traction off nothing.
Somehow she slowed down just enough to hear the last part of the song.
"Make your life worthwhile! Smile, Tanya smile!" The fairies sang as they waved her goodbye.
"Aaaaahhh!" Tanya screamed out as she fell from the palace in the sky.
"Aaaaaaa-!" Tanya kept screaming before she landed down into a street.
CRASH!!!
Tanya's curvy body cratered the ground with her figure. Her body flattening into her shallow, cutout crater.
Where she had expected death, she found only a dull ache. Her body was flush with the floor, and she felt like her entire body could move more freely than before.
'I…' Tanya's brain began to catch up to her. 'I'm alive?' Tanya thought as she peeled herself up.
Her eyes widened as she saw her body was paper thin. Her freedom of movement was all in the bending and twisting of her thin figure. The edge of her hand was razor thin, and joints didn't matter as she could bend and roll like a paper doll.
She really was a cartoon…
As Tanya pulled herself out of the crater, she popped back to 3d. Her features popping back out.
She shivered with shook nerves as she stepped out of the street and onto the sidewalk. Her hands hugged around her figure as she got her bearings.
'I'm… a cartoon?' She thought as she saw herself in the reflection of a mirror store. 'That can't be right.' She was nearly tempted to disbelieve it, like she had with Being X.
But the her-shaped crater, and what had happened in it, made that impossible to dismiss.
'I guess this means I'm safe.' Tanya realized as she straightened upright some more, letting go of her tense posture. 'I've never heard of a cartoon character actually getting hurt before. I remember from my first childhood, those cartoon characters would always be fine in the next scene…'
Speaking of the her-shaped crater, now that she could see herself properly, without the fear of falling. She wasn't sure how she felt about her new figure.
She was extremely curvy, bottom heavy mainly. Her hips were wider than her shoulders. Her stomach was narrow. She had some decent boobs. Her legs were thick in a pleasant way. And her high heels were now impossibly tall, yet felt oddly comfortable to her.
'I should have asked to be a man again…' Tanya deadpanned as she turned sideways and realized just how big her butt was. 'Didn't think she'd make me so… plump?'
Tanya realized there were things in her pockets. She immediately fished into them, realizing that her hand seemed to go way further than possible. "Right, cartoon logic…"
She pulled out a set of glasses that she didn't feel like she needed yet. She put them back before pulling out a wallet. It had an ID card with her name and face on it, as well as "Toon - Human" written on it.
She pursed her lips in thought. 'I mean… There were a lot of non-human cartoon characters. I remember the Americans liked that mouse guy.'
She opened her wallet to find a heart sinking sight. No money. A single, lone fly buzzed out of her wallet, depressed as it flew away.
She huffed before snapping her wallet shut and shoving it away into her pockets. 'Alright. No money, no idea where I am, and no connections. Let's get to work.'
Tanya walked down the street, which she had found to be named Wacky Way. It was oddly winding, like many of the roads here. The only sound being the wind, and the rhythmic clicking of her high heels.
The wind's slow, long tune was somber. A quiet bit of background music, held by long, quiet notes and the soft assortment of creaking.
The buildings felt quiet, despite their bright colorings of yellow, red, blues and greens. Quite a few of the buildings were boarded up, others read "for sale".
Laying on the curb, in front of an abandoned building, laid a single newspaper, which Tanya promptly bent over to pick up.
ToonTown hits record lows once more! With nothing for the human world to adore, we've been kicked through the door! Closed and for sale dot the streets galore! We must remember what we always hold on for.
(New quick jokes on page 3)
Tanya rolled her eyes before rolling up the newspaper and tucking it away into her pocket, still half impressed that it fit away. 'So no one's got money… Looks like that's not unusual.'
Tanya kept walking, realizing that the streets were somewhat radial in nature. They all seemed to stem from a centerpoint somewhere.
'The humans have their own world.' She thought to herself as she thought up a plan. 'And with trade having dried up, ToonTown is struggling. Seems like my best bet is to look into getting work with the humans. But I will still need a place to stay…'
As she followed the winding streets deeper, she began to hear almost annoyingly upbeat music. 'That must be the inhabitants.'
ToonTown had its own town hall, named ToonHall, surrounded by gardens and open space. At the gazebo, a group of toons played their instruments, filling the air with a jazzy, joyful tune. Beside the gazebo, another band was lined up for their turn to play.
Music wasn't the only thing that filled the air, but the warm scent of food carts. The toons operating them worked hard to keep people fed and everyone happy.
Tanya realized that, while she was a human toon, it made sense why it was noted that. Most of the toons were animals of all shapes and sizes.
While a giraffe played basketball against a goose, and was losing, a herd of rabbits were busy trying to make sure to dole out their salad evenly.
The bafflement slid off of Tanya's shoulders fairly easily. She had already been to a world with magic, met a fairy godmother, fell to earth and got flattened, and realized she was toon now. Anthropomorphic people were, at this point, nothing to be surprised about.
"Heya Lady!" A golden retriever in a white and red striped shirt, and jet black pants, called to her. He was working a corn dog stand. "I don't think I've seen your face before!"
Tanya composed herself before walking over to meet him. "You would be correct. I am new in town, and I am trying to find my way around."
The dog seemed pleasantly happy to be around her. His tail began to wag behind him.
'Makes sense.' Tanya thought to herself. 'I did have a way with dogs in my last life.'
"Welcome to the common grounds of ToonTown central then. Name's Charles! Charles the corn dog dog! My dogs may be corny, but I'm not." He offered a hand out for Tanya to shake.
Tanya raised an eyebrow before she took his hand and accepted a shake. 'The people here seem friendly enough…'
"Would you happen to know the way to the human world?" Tanya asked with a decent smile of her own.
"Ah, right that way miss." Charles pointed a thumb at ToonHall. "Go through ToonHall, go down mainstreet, and through the tunnel at the end. It'll take you to the human world."
"Through ToonHall?" Tanya asked, getting puzzled by the idea for a moment.
"Well, yeah, it's a hall ain't it." Charles grinned like it made all the sense in the world.
"Right…" Tanya replied dryly as she realized she should have seen that coming.
"Hey, you don't seem to know your way around…" Charles realized. "You said your new, but like, do you have a place to stay? Or is that still something you need to do?"
"Yes actually." Tanya admitted as she glanced away, feeling slightly ashamed to admit how little she had in this life so far. "I am currently looking for anywhere to stay.
Charles rubbed at his neck as he thought it over. His tail slowed its wag as he stuck out a tongue in thought. "Hmmm. Ok, come by the common grounds later today. I might be able to get you hooked up with a place to stay. At least a few nights."
He opened his heater cabinet before pulling out a corndog and offering it to her. "Here, for a new toon. Can't go battling the big wide world on an empty stomach!"
Tanya smiled at the free handout, which she accepted. "I will pay you back for this. I wish you luck with your corndogs Charles."
She made a turn to leave, before he called out to her. "Oh! I didn't catch your name!?"
"Tanya Degurachaff." Tanya put a hand on her chest as she named herself.
"Tanya Degu-ruff- Degurachaff!" Charles struggled to get her name right before shaking his head and pronouncing it correctly. "Good luck Tanya!"
As Tanya turned and left for ToonHall, she took a bite of her new food. She noted that, for being a food stall corndog, it was really well made. The flavor caught her off guard, especially after living off of rations for so long.
ToonHall's interior was indeed a straight hallway, with a series of doors on either side. Along one wall was a long receptionist desk with a few chatting toons. The walls were decorated with paintings of destructive exploits, and clocks that were impractically shaped with their warped and stretched appearances.
Somehow they all told time perfectly. Except the grandfather clock. It was behind the times.
Tanya gave the receptionists a small nod as she walked by and into mainstreet.
The mainstreet was a long, pedestrian road. Shops lined either side, but business wasn't all too busy. The tallest building stood halfway down the road, the theater.
At the far end of the road was a tunnel which led into darkness. The archway read "Human World!" on an old, dull brass sign.
'So much walking so far.' Tanya thought to herself as she kept going. The sound of her high heels clicking already faded into background noise to her. 'Just have to learn where I'm going.'
Tanya went through the tunnel, before stepping towards an unnaturally bright light and having to squint.
The tunnel led to a large parking lot. The archway to ToonTown read "ToonTown Central." on a worn down brass sign.
Tanya looked down at her hands and at the ground, and realized how much more saturated she was compared to everything. She was a cartoon character in a real world.
"Right. Let's get job hunting."
"No toons allowed." Tanya heard from the bankers. "You can't be trusted."
"We don't hire toons." She heard from the museum. "So reckless and destructive."
Tanya didn't even get to step into the hotel before getting kicked out. She bounced down the steps, before tumbling over herself and into a full spin. She crashed into the decorative fountain base, landing upside down with her legs dangling over the water, her high heels in the air.
"We don't need you harassing our customers!" The security officer stated as he wiped his hands and went back inside.
Tanya righted herself and put her hands on her wide hips. 'This is getting ridiculous! Nowhere will even entertain the idea of an interview, much less hire me!'
Tanya turned and left, marching away in anger.
The day crept on further and further, slipping away into the faint orange glow of an afternoon. The attempts at getting a job never got any further than walking in and getting thrown out.
Tanya sat on a bench with her legs crossed and a head in one hand. Her other hand tapped against her broad thigh. 'Nothing… dozens of places, and nothing…'
Tanya's bench was a lone bench, sitting atop a hill topped with a concrete platform that could oversee the beach. In the warm glow of the afternoon, many of the families with children had gone home, leaving just adults and older teenagers to enjoy the tranquil sands.
Despite the lighting, Tanya didn't change too much herself. Her toon body remained colorful and vibrant, and stood out against the ambient glow with her saturation.
'What would I even put on a resume? Skills earned in a previous life? Source listed, a toon…' She realized how insane listing off her old skills would be.
She heard the sounds of a man approaching her, and she glanced over at him.
He was a middle aged man who looked lost with bad luck. Dressed in a white button up, with thick black suspenders. He wore a puffy coat that looked three sizes too big on him. Around his neck was a bright red bowtie with the initials YJ on either wing. His pants were a soft tan, and his dress shoes an inky black.
His features were lost in thought, yet he gave a glance of acknowledgement to Tanya.
"Is this spot taken?" He asked as he gestured to the other half of the bench.
Tanya scooted away some more, to make space for him. "No." she replied dryly.
He took a seat and hunched over. He leaned till his elbows were on his knees, his hands half hanging as he looked out at the beach and ocean.
"Rotten luck?" He asked, trying to make small talk with the toon lady beside him.
"Incredibly accurate. How could you tell?" Tanya asked as she raised an eyebrow at him as she started paying attention.
"Same bench." He joked solemnly as he sat upright. "What's got you overlooking the sea?"
Tanya wondered what brought this man to talk to her. She huffed in anger at her mistreatment as she balled her fists on her lap. "Can't even get in the front door to most places. I have no resume, no connections, so I'm wondering how I'm supposed to get a job."
"Mmhmm…" The man hummed as he listened to her thoughtfully.
"I'm trying my hand at being a movie director." He admitted as he laid back against the bench and kicked his legs out. He crossed them at the ankles. "Problem is, I ain't got enough money to compete with the bigger studios. I can likely get a loan, but that means risking bankruptcy."
"I can't exactly help you. I never liked acting, although I have performed twice." Tanya replied as she remembered her… propaganda shots and the music video she shot in her previous life.
The man looked her over. His eyes tracing her office outfit and he asked, "So, what kind of skills would you claim to have."
Tanya held her tongue for a moment. While she knew all the skills she had couldn't be backed up with proof, he was giving her a chance. This was a business opportunity.
"I work best in middle management. I have a history of looking over others while aiming for the goals of higher ups." Tanya stated with a clarity that felt comfortable to her.
In her first life, she was a salaryman who operated as the firing and hiring manager. That ended when she fired the wrong man, well he had earned that firing of course. In her second life, she operated as a military leader, working under the brass and ordering her troops to fulfill their goals.
Of course, she always worked towards her own goals, but that was to be expected of any employee.
The man grabbed at his chin as an idea brewed to completion. "Management…"
He grinned down at her. "How about you work as my toon manager?"
Tanya looked up at him with a look of bafflement and an eager smile, leading to one of her 'evil' smiles. "What would I be expected to do?"
He pulled out a business card from his oversized coat and handed it to her.
Yosef Jefford
Curl Root Road
Studio plot 22
"You need a job, and I need to make a good movie with a low budget. It looks like our desires are aligned." Yosef made his pitch to her as he placed his hands out, imagining the future. "The people want action, they want stakes, so what better way than to hire toons to make the action more bombastic. And that's where you'll come in."
"You want me to hire and manage toons." Tanya interjected as she was keeping up with his vision. She uncrossed her legs and put her fingers together in thought. "It would keep the prices down, while maintaining a good quality."
"Exactly!" Yosef snapped his fingers and pointed out to their more and more shared vision.
"When do we begin?" Tanya asked as she stood up.
"Come by the studio tomorrow morning, we'll draw up some contracts." He stood up and brushed out his hair with his hand, feeling confident and composed. His future was about to begin.
He offered a hand to her. "The name's Yosef Jefford. Upcoming director."
"Tanya Degurachaff." Tanya introduced herself as she took his hand and shook it. She was eager for this position.
Middle management! A desk job! Her dream was coming true, just a lot more colorfully than she had imagined.
"9 AM, studio 22. I'll provide bagels and payment." Yosef declared before he marched off. There was a happier, more determined march to his step.
Directing a full movie! No more begging and pleading for a chance, he was taking his shot! If he couldn't get enough engineers and technicians, he'd hire toons to supplement his workforce!
Tanya returned to ToonTown common grounds as the sky turned to a lovely violet. The night was approaching fast, and the sun was slipping away out of sight.
Her high heels clicked happily as she had managed to obtain what seemed to be a really good job. Her ponytail bobbed a bit more than usual as she walked along.
The only other sounds being that of a new gazebo band, consisting of three bats and a possum playing some soft, slow beat ambience, with the piano taking the lead. Their own soft blues filled the air with a relaxation as the nocturnal toons began to come out.
Charles sat on a bench around where his corndog stand used to be. He had a patient, calm smile on his face, yet the bouncing in his leg revealed a nervousness.
He immediately lit up as he saw Tanya, leaping to his feet and waving for her. "Tanya, Tanya!" He cheered.
One of the musical bats winced at how loud he was before shooting him a glare.
Charles bit his teeth and cringed at himself. "Tanya, Tanya." He hissed out a cheer for her.
"I hope you have good news?" Tanya asked with a smile, which almost came as threatening had Charles not been able to see through her.
"I did find you a place to stay the night." Charles spoke with a light bounce on his heels. He put up his hands. "It's not for long, but a night or two is better than nothing."
Tanya nodded her head. "Good, good. I believe I should be able to procure funds soon enough. Both to pay back your kindnesses, as well as to get things sorted out."
"Oh, you got a job amongst the humans so quickly? What do you do?" He asked with excitement, his ears perked up.
"I'll be in management." Tanya noted. "Working for a movie director named Jefford."
"Lucky you!" Charles applauded Tanya before cringing and hoping he didn't upset the bats. "Lucky you… Entertainment's traditionally been a great place for toons."
"If all goes well, I should do quite well for myself." Tanya gave a confident smirk.
"Hey, you're cool with rabbits, right?" Charles asked as he led them out of the common grounds.
"I don't see how this would be an issue." Tanya stated, as she had no idea.
The two of them stood outside a wooden townhouse, 3 stories tall and not nearly as wide. Painted a creamy white, with light pink shutters and a soft blue roof. The doorway had a cute rabbit icon molded in, with a notably wide and rounded door.
What was most notable was the lights and loudness of the house. Every light was on, and it seemed as though every room was alive. One poor kid was nearly thrown out the window. Only to catch himself on the windowsill and scramble over to the next window over, while some kid the two couldn't see yelled at them.
"I see." Tanya deadpanned as she realized what he had meant. She puffed up her chest and straightened her curved back in self confidence. "However, I fail to see what other alternatives I have."
She knocked politely on the door.
"Who's there?" A young voice chirped back from behind the door.
"Tanya, the new guest." Tanya answered back with a confused eyebrow raise as she put a hand on her wide hip. She was slightly unamused by the antics.
"Ah, you're no fun!" The young voice whined before she opened the door with an annoyed pout. There stood a small, black rabbit with lighter brown specks around her shoulders and a splotch of brown over one eye. She, like many of the younger rabbits running around, wore a patchy set of denim overalls and, in her case a white t-shirt.
"Sorry little fella." Charles apologized with his hands together, leaning over a little for the young bunny. "Can you go get your mother? I spoke with her earlier today…"
"Fiinnee…" The kid gave an eyeroll before cupping her hand beside her mouth and yelling into the house. "Ma! There's a weird dog outside! And a…"
She looked over Tanya, eyeing her dress up. "Stressed business lady!"
An adult rabbit woman stepped around the corner. She wore a soft green, button down dress that went down to her shins. On top she had a hefty apron with an extra pouch on the front. The rabbit logo was stitched in. Her fur was a creamy brown, and she wore her hair in a braid that ran over her chest.
"Pepper. Be nice." She lightly scolded the girl before placing a hand on her head and gently scooting her aside. Her voice was smooth and soft. "Run along and go play with your twin brother Saul."
She gently pet her hair down before overlaying her hands above her lap. "I'm so sorry. Kits can be such a handful."
"My name is Hazel. Hazel Leporid." She gave a slight bow, letting her long ears flop for a moment.
"Tanya, Tanya Degurachaff." Tanya replied back as she gave a head bow of her own. "I was told I might be able to spend the night…"
"Ah, you're the new guest." Hazel beamed a soft, tired smile. "Always willing to share a spot for a new toon. Sorry if the place is a mess."
"I promise you, Mrs. Leporid, I will pay you back for the rent." Tanya placed her confident statement.
"I… really should get going." Charles gave a small, shy wave as his tail slumped. "As much as I'd like to stay, I really should be getting back to my wife."
Hazel led Tanya into the house. "Take your time, but I won't turn down the help. What goes around comes around." Hazel chuckled lightly.
Vrroooom!
"Hu!" Tanya gasped as her high heels were knocked out from under her by a speeding blur. She landed on her ass and grit her teeth in anger, trying to appear grateful despite the mischief.
"Dash!" Hazel called out to the speeding yellow blur. "Don't run under people's feet!"
She bent over to offer Tanya a hand up. "Sorry, sorry. Kits, I swear, it only ends when they sleep."
Tanya took the offered hand and got up. "It's alright." She grunted with a sigh. "I can take it."
"Care to join us for dinner?" Hazel offered as she brushed off Tanya's shoulder. "It'll just be salad though…"
"That would be amazing." Tanya gave a quizzical yet well meaning smile.
Hazel led Tanya into the dining area, which was the largest room in the townhouse. There was a comically long table, with rabbit eared chairs running along either side. Each chair had a name painted on the back. The chair at either head of the table was larger and had armrests. To the right hand of either head chair was a normal dining chair.
While several doors led into the dining room, only one led into the kitchen. Beside the kitchen door was a large, gold bell with a little rope attached. The bell was adorned with a carrot motif.
"You may want to take your seat." Hazel informed Tanya as she pointed to a guest chair.
Tanya gave a hum of understanding and was about to make her way towards the guest chair, before -
"Oh, is it dinner time already Ma?" A taller, and notably older brown bunny poked his head out of the kitchen. He reached up and rang the bell.
Ring ding dang!
The entire house began to rumble and wobble as the kits and young rabbits charged and flooded into the dining room. Chaotic clouds were kicked up as they flooded the room.
"W, wait!" Tanya cried as she was pushed by the current before going under. She reached a hand up before getting trampled by the horde.
Squish! Squash!
When the clouds cleared, and a majority had taken their seat, Tanya was revealed on the ground.
She was flattened onto her back, hands up by her shoulders in self defense. Her teeth grit in anger and surprise. Her once thick hips and ass were as paper thin as the rest of her.
'I don't think I'll ever get used to this.' Tanya grumbled to herself as she struggled to pick herself up. "Mrs. Leporid, a little help please…"
Hazel put a hand over her mouth, both in shock, guilt, and a little bit of mischievous fun. She bent down and grabbed Tanya by her ponytail before peeling her up like a long, rubber sticker.
Tanya wobbled lightly in Hazel's grasp, like a large rubber poster, before she was flicked out and back to 3d. She stumbled before placing a hand on the wall to balance herself. The other hand went to her head to process what just happened to her.
"Again, I'm so sorry." Hazel chimed as she waved aside a small kit which pulled at her dress. "Please, take your seat and we'll be right with you."
"Yes ma'am." Tanya replied as she straightened herself up and fixed her blazer before marching to her seat.
Hazel and some of the older rabbits helped dish out mountains of salad to the horde of kits. The salads were honestly quite well done. A variety of cooked vegetables, bell peppers and radish and carrot and more. They weren't limited to only what real rabbits could eat, as their salads included onion, rhubarb, and more.
As Tanya sat down and was served, the brown rabbit from earlier offered her a scoop of several varieties of their salad.
"Ah, sorry about that Miss. Wasn't expecting company." He gave a sheepish smile. "Name's Chester. Eldest son, at least I think…" He looked up in thought as his ears folded back.
"That's… alright." Tanya sighed heavily as she accepted her food. "You're forgiven."
The rabbit kids were aligned at their seats, and Tanya noticed that there were 24 children. The older ones were spread out to manage the horde, but overall there seemed to be a tendency from Hazel's side of the table to have the older ones closer to her. The seat at the other end remained empty.
Tanya had a moment to consider her new lot in life. While smelling the warm cooking, and being treated to perhaps the best salad she's had in three lives, it gave her time to think.
'I will miss the work I put into my previous lives. The investments of time and effort and connection, ripped away by the irrational actions of others. Perhaps I will miss Viktoria… Grantz… my battalion whom I enjoyed hardfought dinners with.' Tanya felt a hint of remorse for her lost lives.
She rationalized her feelings, with labels of investment, gains and losses. Yet the feeling remained true, if only for a moment.
'Yet, is this life not everything I had wished for?' Tanya thought to herself as she crunched away a well cooked and seasoned piece of bok choy. 'I have a job in management. Perhaps I can even get promoted if we are successful. I'm free to pursue my life, free from the shadow of that damned Being X. And, I'm… safe? I just got trampled by a family large enough to staff an entire office, and am completely fine, not a scratch on me… The flattening and toon abilities, I doubt I'll get used to that.'
She remembered the feeling of flight and magic and the awful intoxication of the type 95. The feeling of her bones shaking from each artillery strike and how adrenaline would flood her every nerve. It was flight and fight or die, day after day. '... Or, maybe I will. Being flattened has to beat being hit with an artillery gun. I can do without any more humiliation though. So there's a reason to believe otherwise.'
Chester came around after dinner and took her plate when she was done. The sounds of washing began from the kitchen as a few of the older kids got to cleaning.
"I'll lead you to your room." Hazel announced softly to Tanya as she made her way up and through the house. The horde of kits following along.
"This might take a minute though." She grinned before she stopped at nearly every door and kissed the respective kits on the head before nudging them off to bed.
Tanya waited patiently as they made their way through the house. The walls had pictures of the ever growing family throughout the years, as well as pictures of the children at core events. Graduations, competitions, learning a new skill. She also got to see her husband. A jet black rabbit, who worked as a security guard by the looks of his outfit. And Hazel, back when she used to work as a leotard wearing waitress.
She found herself up at the highest room in the house. It was incredibly bare. A humble guest room, with a cot without any head or footer part. A nightstand with a lamp, maybe the only lamp in the house without a rabbit motif. A wardrobe that seemed to be home to a family of dust bunnies. A lone, standing mirror. A single, large window with a closed shutter and drawn blinds.
"Thank you so much Mrs. Leporid." Tanya thanked again with a bow of her head. "I promise to pay you back. What will the rent be?"
"Hehe. You're far too stressed Tanya my dear." Hazel shook her head. "Take your time. And even if you don't get around to paying me back, get around to paying someone else back. Kindness is not a two way street, it's a free prairie to be shared when possible and received when needed."
Tanya didn't know how to respond. She shut her lips and thought it over. She was a businesswoman at heart, a salaryman from origin.
She calculated her current debt in her head. The corndog offered by Charles. The likely price of the vegetables she had, she'd also have to thank whoever cooked them. The rent for the room.
Once she was done, she nodded. "I understand. Good night Mrs. Leporid."
"Good night, Tanya." Hazel smiled and left while Tanya closed and locked the door.
Finally alone, Tanya began to strip out of her office wear and high heels. Weirdly enough, even after a whole day of wearing them, they didn't affect her in the slightest. Left with only her undergarments on, she hung up her clothing into the wardrobe.
She gave herself one last look over in the mirror. She had fallen from the sky. She had been thrown down a flight of stairs. She had been trampled by children. Yet nowhere she looked, was even a single scratch on her curvy body.
Now that she had walked a day in this body, which was absurd for any normal human, she had begun to grow comfortable in her new form. Even if her hips were wider than her shoulders and her back had an attractive arch in it.
She climbed into bed, curling up under the covers. From her angle on the bed, she could see the night sky. In her first life, there were no stars. In the second, she wouldn't pay attention to the stars for her focus was on looking for mages. But now, the night sky felt beautiful and tranquil with its assortment of dark colors and tiny shining lights. A new life awaited her.
The toon world is inspired by the likes of ToonTown from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, ToonTown Online, an assortment of disney (especially classical disney cartoons), warner brothers, and other assorted cartoon settings, and a heaping load of original content. Characters may or may not make cameos as the story continues.
This first chapter contains minor blood and the death of Tanya Degurechaff in her soldier life.
– 0 / 8 –
The roars of war raged above, screaming into the night. Mages flew through the air like shooting stars from hell. Artillery drummed the ground and made the sky light up with flashes of orange and yellow light. Untold thousands of soldiers charged through the no man's land, many of whom would never see the sun rise.
Tanya laid there in the dirt, hidden away in a crater made earlier. Blood soaked through her shirt as her small body grew colder and colder.
She struggled to scoot herself back, resting her head against the incline of the crater. She held her bleeding side tightly as she grit her teeth.
'Damn you. Damn you Being X.' Tanya growled to herself as she dared to check her injury.
It didn't look good. 'I've lost too much blood. I can't make it out of this damn crater. Medical support?'
Another round of artillery went off, and Tanya's self posed question was answered.
'Unlikely.' She thought grimly as she rested her head and braced herself.
She glared up into the night sky, knowing full well that Being X was watching over her, rooting for her downfall. She locked eyes with a particularly bright star that horrid night.
"I hate you Being X. This challenge was rigged from the start." Tanya hissed at the sky. Her anger bubbling up. "If you were powerful enough to take what you wanted, then why did you bother tormenting me? Was it all for sadistic pleasure?"
Tanya began to cry a little, her anger turning to slight desperation as it felt like the world really was closing in on her. "You sent me here as a child! Doomed to a life of danger from the start! All so you could just dictate a plan you could control from the start!" She cried out in rage.
"I just wanted a nice, safe life! Where the biggest concern was some paperwork!" Tanya howled out as she vented her frustrations, her gallons of emotion pouring out as there was no one to hear her except for an uncaring and cruel god figure.
"Now what?!" Tanya screamed out in anger to hide her fear. She didn't know what would happen if, no… when she were to die. Being X intervened the first time, which revealed otherworldly planes and afterlives and reincarnation.
'Now what?!' Tanya repeated to herself as she realized how her anger was holding her fear at bay. 'Is my soul forfeit? Do I reincarnate and forget everything he's done to me? Tossed aside like some, some lab rat with no further purpose! I hate you Being X!'
Tanya began to lose sensation in her limbs. She knew death was coming for her, and there was nothing she could do about it.
'If I were to pray, I know he would save me.' Tanya thought as she looked up and saw the mages flying overhead. 'It makes me sick…'
The color drained from her face as she realized what this was all about. 'If I pray, he wins. This is all some disgusting, high stakes game of chicken. That means there's only two options.'
'Option one is that I can't be allowed to die here. The game must continue in order for me to lose. So prayer is an illusionary choice, in which accepting means to give in.'
'Option two is that I die, and he loses. I prove that, even when faced with death, I don't need him.' Tanya bit her lip in terrifying thought.
'Under option two, if he loses, what happens next? Does the game reset? Being X doesn't like to lose, so either he forces me to continue and I reincarnate again, or he throws me aside and continues with his plans.' Tanya grit her teeth, sliding her lip free from her teeth as she clutched her side. 'Just like a petulant child. Either throws the game away or screams for wanting to try again.'
'What if he opts to try again? If Being X is immortal, what kind of a time frame is he looking at for temper? What is a short temper to an immortal being?!' Tanya began to feel suffocated, and that was more than the smoke and ash and failing body.
Visions of a horrible future rushed through Tanya's mind, as she realized he was willing to wait for nearly 13 years so far. If she continued, she'd be playing her entire life. What if he kept going until he won? How many lifetimes was too many?! What's to stop him from setting up an even more painful setting to torment her in?
What's to stop him from just sending her to yet another world? Put her back, have her start from scratch all over again, and have it feel a hundred times worse?
Tears ran down her face as she realized just how out of her depth she was dealing with Being X.
'If I am to die, and to face my futures, I will do so with all the stubborn pride I've had up till my death. That's what he wants to take from me. To make me bow and pray to him.' Tanya growled to herself.
She locked eyes with the star that shined so bright in the night sky. "You won't win Being X! You'll never win! I'm not afraid to die!"
Tanya hissed as her vision began to swim. Such a small body, such little blood to lose. A child, just over 12 years old, was bleeding to death in a war crater.
"I won't stop… till I'm free from you." She muttered weakly. Some small part of her was just making a wish for her freedom.
Her vision spun away as darkness began to claim her, and the bright light of the star was the last light she could focus on.
– 1 / 8 –
It was cool. Like a comfortable night's sleep on a soft bed. Someone had replaced the dirt and ash with a bed of clouds.
Tanya opened her eyes to see a wide sky of blue, with white puffy clouds. The section of the crater she was laying in was just clouds. Her tight uniform and clunky flying gear, and accursed type 95 were gone. In its place was a comfortable set of pajamas.
"Hello Tanya." A woman spoke with a soft, welcoming voice.
"YOU!" Tanya shouted as she shot up to her feet, ready to fight. "-Aren't Being X…"
There stood a woman in a long, flowing gown. She was dressed like a princess right from a fairy tale. Her crown was adorned with star-like gems, and her outfit favored a soft blue, with shining gems of clear crystal that made her glitter.
In her hands was a wand, tipped with a gem in the same shape as the last star Tanya had seen before passing away.
But the oddest part about the princess was how unreal she looked. She felt like… like an old cartoon. Like Tanya was speaking to a drawing that had come to life.
The room was styled like an extremely large balcony of marble and white stone. Silver linings dotted the walls and railings, creating outline and shape to an otherwise blankly white building.
"Who are you? Where am I?" Tanya asked in a slow, defensive tone as she was still tense. Her fists were balled, yet her somewhat low posture made it clear she was willing to try and run if confrontation began.
"I am the godmother. Queen of stars." She held up a hand to give a light giggle. "But if it's more to your sensibilities, you may call me Lady Y."
Lady Y held the top part of her dress before giving a curtsy bow. She gestured with a wave of her wand. "And welcome to the palace in the sky."
"So you know about Being X?" Tanya asked as she stepped off of her cloud bed. Her eyes scanned for any way out, only to find a single door from the balcony into what appeared to be a palace.
"I am well aware of him, and how much of a hassle he can be to deal with." Lady Y gave a light joke of understanding. "I am truly sorry, my child. No soul should ever have to experience such horrible deeds."
"What do you want with me?" Tanya asked as she slowly began to rotate around the princess, trying to slowly get closer to the door.
"To grant your wish." Lady Y answered truthfully, with a soft smile that said all is well, for I am here. "I heard you crying out after all. And I am a godmother. Wish granting comes with the crown." She gave a little wink.
"What do you get out of this?" Tanya asked, as she understood that nothing was ever offered for free.
Lady Y realized that Tanya was far more skeptical than she had imagined. She gently tapped her wand in her hand, weighing her options. "I get you. You're exactly who I need right now."
"In what way?" Tanya asked as she took another step closer to the door. It wasn't far now.
"In that we can both be winners here. I give you everything you wish for, and when I let you go, I know you'll do everything I could ever hope for. You will not be forced, but I know that you will naturally be what I need." She answered.
Lady Y took a deep breath before sitting down on the cloud bed and placing her wand across her lap. She knew that this would make Tanya feel safe to run to the door, and she wanted to explain herself more fully.
"Being X, as you call him, wanted to shape you into someone you weren't. That's cruel of a god to do to any human. I don't need to change anything about you, nor do I need to force you. I hear you like business terms. He was training a new employee against their will, for his own personal gain. I don't need to train you, when you're everything I'm looking for."
Tanya bit her lip in thought. 'Godlike being… If she was looking for someone, then she'd be able to find whoever she needs. She'd have an effectively infinite pool of potential employees to select from.'
Tanya loosened up a bit, letting go of her combative pose and standing upright. "So… I just name my wish?"
"Be as thorough as you like." Lady Y chimed back softly as she stood up. She placed her hands over her lap, holding her wand loosely.
"I wish…" Tanya gulped a little bit as she was careful. "To be an adult again. To be safe, and free to pursue my life as I see fit."
"Where paperwork is the most of your worries." Lady Y gave a light, knowing smile. "Life's trickier than paperwork, but I have just the way in mind to grant this wish."
She waved her wand at the door. A small stream of sparkly flew out and the door opened, revealing a wall of fog and cloud. "Right through there, and into your new life."
Tanya looked at the fog wall, weighing her odds, and realizing that, even if this was a trick, there was nothing she could do about it otherwise. With so much kindness presented to her, and a seemingly mutual benefit, there was nothing else to do.
Tanya turned back to the godmother, and gave a bow. "Thank you."
She took a deep breath before stepping through the fog wall, and into a seemingly blank void of white fog.
'What happens now-!' Tanya went to think before the ground gave out below her. She plummeted right through the clouds.
"AHHHH!" Tanya screamed out as she fell.
– 2 / 8 –
Tanya fell out from the bottom of the palace in the sky. The wind whipping past her in a torrent. Her heart raced as she tried to orientate herself into a wide falling posture.
"Smile, Tanya smile!" A chorus began to sing out to her from the clouds around her, as fairies sat on clouds and sang for her. The fairies were beautiful, albeit notably small, humans with shining, lear wings.
She gasped as her screaming had run out, and she realized this was some sick trick of Lady Y.
Pwuuuf!
Tanya fell through another cloud, and began to feel her body stretch and reshape itself. She felt her limbs and torso lengthen. Years flew by her with a barrage of small growing pains.
She fell out of the cloud and looked down at herself. She had grown up in the matter of seconds.
She was… curvier than she had expected. Her hips were very, very wide compared to her shoulders. Her stomach was narrow, giving her a somewhat hourglass shape. Her legs were thick and strong and healthy.
"This new world is a great world after all!" The fairies continued their song.
No longer was she the sickly child. She was Tanya, the full grown, well fed woman.
Pwuuuf!
Tanya shut her eyes as she hit another cloud. Her outfit ripped away and was replaced with something new.
She fell out to see that she was dressed in an office outfit that clung to her figure. Office beige, cream colored button up shirt, a blazer vest, dress pants that hugged her ass in a pleasant way. And tall high heels, like those seen on office ladies.
"Smile, Tanya smile! And right away watch the godmother repay ya!"
Tanya realized the clouds continued, and braced herself as she went through another.
Pwwoof!
Tanya blinked as she didn't know what had happened, until she looked at herself and realized she looked notably different. Her colors were vibrant. She looked like the godmother.
Then it hit her. She looked like a cartoon character.
"Things are never black as they are painted! Time's long since due for freedom!"
'Wait, where's the ground!' Tanya cried to herself as she realized there were no more clouds. Her eyes locked with the visage of a town below.
"I don't want to die! NOT AGAIN!" Tanya screamed out as she fell away. She began to claw at the air, as if she could somehow gain traction off nothing.
Somehow she slowed down just enough to hear the last part of the song.
"Make your life worthwhile! Smile, Tanya smile!" The fairies sang as they waved her goodbye.
"Aaaaahhh!" Tanya screamed out as she fell from the palace in the sky.
– 3 / 8 –
"Aaaaaaa-!" Tanya kept screaming before she landed down into a street.
CRASH!!!
Tanya's curvy body cratered the ground with her figure. Her body flattening into her shallow, cutout crater.
Where she had expected death, she found only a dull ache. Her body was flush with the floor, and she felt like her entire body could move more freely than before.
'I…' Tanya's brain began to catch up to her. 'I'm alive?' Tanya thought as she peeled herself up.
Her eyes widened as she saw her body was paper thin. Her freedom of movement was all in the bending and twisting of her thin figure. The edge of her hand was razor thin, and joints didn't matter as she could bend and roll like a paper doll.
She really was a cartoon…
As Tanya pulled herself out of the crater, she popped back to 3d. Her features popping back out.
She shivered with shook nerves as she stepped out of the street and onto the sidewalk. Her hands hugged around her figure as she got her bearings.
'I'm… a cartoon?' She thought as she saw herself in the reflection of a mirror store. 'That can't be right.' She was nearly tempted to disbelieve it, like she had with Being X.
But the her-shaped crater, and what had happened in it, made that impossible to dismiss.
'I guess this means I'm safe.' Tanya realized as she straightened upright some more, letting go of her tense posture. 'I've never heard of a cartoon character actually getting hurt before. I remember from my first childhood, those cartoon characters would always be fine in the next scene…'
Speaking of the her-shaped crater, now that she could see herself properly, without the fear of falling. She wasn't sure how she felt about her new figure.
She was extremely curvy, bottom heavy mainly. Her hips were wider than her shoulders. Her stomach was narrow. She had some decent boobs. Her legs were thick in a pleasant way. And her high heels were now impossibly tall, yet felt oddly comfortable to her.
'I should have asked to be a man again…' Tanya deadpanned as she turned sideways and realized just how big her butt was. 'Didn't think she'd make me so… plump?'
Tanya realized there were things in her pockets. She immediately fished into them, realizing that her hand seemed to go way further than possible. "Right, cartoon logic…"
She pulled out a set of glasses that she didn't feel like she needed yet. She put them back before pulling out a wallet. It had an ID card with her name and face on it, as well as "Toon - Human" written on it.
She pursed her lips in thought. 'I mean… There were a lot of non-human cartoon characters. I remember the Americans liked that mouse guy.'
She opened her wallet to find a heart sinking sight. No money. A single, lone fly buzzed out of her wallet, depressed as it flew away.
She huffed before snapping her wallet shut and shoving it away into her pockets. 'Alright. No money, no idea where I am, and no connections. Let's get to work.'
– 4 / 8 –
Tanya walked down the street, which she had found to be named Wacky Way. It was oddly winding, like many of the roads here. The only sound being the wind, and the rhythmic clicking of her high heels.
The wind's slow, long tune was somber. A quiet bit of background music, held by long, quiet notes and the soft assortment of creaking.
The buildings felt quiet, despite their bright colorings of yellow, red, blues and greens. Quite a few of the buildings were boarded up, others read "for sale".
Laying on the curb, in front of an abandoned building, laid a single newspaper, which Tanya promptly bent over to pick up.
ToonTown Times presents!
Economic Hardships!
Economic Hardships!
ToonTown hits record lows once more! With nothing for the human world to adore, we've been kicked through the door! Closed and for sale dot the streets galore! We must remember what we always hold on for.
(New quick jokes on page 3)
Tanya rolled her eyes before rolling up the newspaper and tucking it away into her pocket, still half impressed that it fit away. 'So no one's got money… Looks like that's not unusual.'
Tanya kept walking, realizing that the streets were somewhat radial in nature. They all seemed to stem from a centerpoint somewhere.
'The humans have their own world.' She thought to herself as she thought up a plan. 'And with trade having dried up, ToonTown is struggling. Seems like my best bet is to look into getting work with the humans. But I will still need a place to stay…'
As she followed the winding streets deeper, she began to hear almost annoyingly upbeat music. 'That must be the inhabitants.'
– 5 / 8 –
ToonTown had its own town hall, named ToonHall, surrounded by gardens and open space. At the gazebo, a group of toons played their instruments, filling the air with a jazzy, joyful tune. Beside the gazebo, another band was lined up for their turn to play.
Music wasn't the only thing that filled the air, but the warm scent of food carts. The toons operating them worked hard to keep people fed and everyone happy.
Tanya realized that, while she was a human toon, it made sense why it was noted that. Most of the toons were animals of all shapes and sizes.
While a giraffe played basketball against a goose, and was losing, a herd of rabbits were busy trying to make sure to dole out their salad evenly.
The bafflement slid off of Tanya's shoulders fairly easily. She had already been to a world with magic, met a fairy godmother, fell to earth and got flattened, and realized she was toon now. Anthropomorphic people were, at this point, nothing to be surprised about.
"Heya Lady!" A golden retriever in a white and red striped shirt, and jet black pants, called to her. He was working a corn dog stand. "I don't think I've seen your face before!"
Tanya composed herself before walking over to meet him. "You would be correct. I am new in town, and I am trying to find my way around."
The dog seemed pleasantly happy to be around her. His tail began to wag behind him.
'Makes sense.' Tanya thought to herself. 'I did have a way with dogs in my last life.'
"Welcome to the common grounds of ToonTown central then. Name's Charles! Charles the corn dog dog! My dogs may be corny, but I'm not." He offered a hand out for Tanya to shake.
Tanya raised an eyebrow before she took his hand and accepted a shake. 'The people here seem friendly enough…'
"Would you happen to know the way to the human world?" Tanya asked with a decent smile of her own.
"Ah, right that way miss." Charles pointed a thumb at ToonHall. "Go through ToonHall, go down mainstreet, and through the tunnel at the end. It'll take you to the human world."
"Through ToonHall?" Tanya asked, getting puzzled by the idea for a moment.
"Well, yeah, it's a hall ain't it." Charles grinned like it made all the sense in the world.
"Right…" Tanya replied dryly as she realized she should have seen that coming.
"Hey, you don't seem to know your way around…" Charles realized. "You said your new, but like, do you have a place to stay? Or is that still something you need to do?"
"Yes actually." Tanya admitted as she glanced away, feeling slightly ashamed to admit how little she had in this life so far. "I am currently looking for anywhere to stay.
Charles rubbed at his neck as he thought it over. His tail slowed its wag as he stuck out a tongue in thought. "Hmmm. Ok, come by the common grounds later today. I might be able to get you hooked up with a place to stay. At least a few nights."
He opened his heater cabinet before pulling out a corndog and offering it to her. "Here, for a new toon. Can't go battling the big wide world on an empty stomach!"
Tanya smiled at the free handout, which she accepted. "I will pay you back for this. I wish you luck with your corndogs Charles."
She made a turn to leave, before he called out to her. "Oh! I didn't catch your name!?"
"Tanya Degurachaff." Tanya put a hand on her chest as she named herself.
"Tanya Degu-ruff- Degurachaff!" Charles struggled to get her name right before shaking his head and pronouncing it correctly. "Good luck Tanya!"
As Tanya turned and left for ToonHall, she took a bite of her new food. She noted that, for being a food stall corndog, it was really well made. The flavor caught her off guard, especially after living off of rations for so long.
– 6 / 8 –
ToonHall's interior was indeed a straight hallway, with a series of doors on either side. Along one wall was a long receptionist desk with a few chatting toons. The walls were decorated with paintings of destructive exploits, and clocks that were impractically shaped with their warped and stretched appearances.
Somehow they all told time perfectly. Except the grandfather clock. It was behind the times.
Tanya gave the receptionists a small nod as she walked by and into mainstreet.
The mainstreet was a long, pedestrian road. Shops lined either side, but business wasn't all too busy. The tallest building stood halfway down the road, the theater.
At the far end of the road was a tunnel which led into darkness. The archway read "Human World!" on an old, dull brass sign.
'So much walking so far.' Tanya thought to herself as she kept going. The sound of her high heels clicking already faded into background noise to her. 'Just have to learn where I'm going.'
Tanya went through the tunnel, before stepping towards an unnaturally bright light and having to squint.
The tunnel led to a large parking lot. The archway to ToonTown read "ToonTown Central." on a worn down brass sign.
Tanya looked down at her hands and at the ground, and realized how much more saturated she was compared to everything. She was a cartoon character in a real world.
"Right. Let's get job hunting."
– 7 / 8 –
"No toons allowed." Tanya heard from the bankers. "You can't be trusted."
"We don't hire toons." She heard from the museum. "So reckless and destructive."
Tanya didn't even get to step into the hotel before getting kicked out. She bounced down the steps, before tumbling over herself and into a full spin. She crashed into the decorative fountain base, landing upside down with her legs dangling over the water, her high heels in the air.
"We don't need you harassing our customers!" The security officer stated as he wiped his hands and went back inside.
Tanya righted herself and put her hands on her wide hips. 'This is getting ridiculous! Nowhere will even entertain the idea of an interview, much less hire me!'
Tanya turned and left, marching away in anger.
The day crept on further and further, slipping away into the faint orange glow of an afternoon. The attempts at getting a job never got any further than walking in and getting thrown out.
Tanya sat on a bench with her legs crossed and a head in one hand. Her other hand tapped against her broad thigh. 'Nothing… dozens of places, and nothing…'
Tanya's bench was a lone bench, sitting atop a hill topped with a concrete platform that could oversee the beach. In the warm glow of the afternoon, many of the families with children had gone home, leaving just adults and older teenagers to enjoy the tranquil sands.
Despite the lighting, Tanya didn't change too much herself. Her toon body remained colorful and vibrant, and stood out against the ambient glow with her saturation.
'What would I even put on a resume? Skills earned in a previous life? Source listed, a toon…' She realized how insane listing off her old skills would be.
She heard the sounds of a man approaching her, and she glanced over at him.
He was a middle aged man who looked lost with bad luck. Dressed in a white button up, with thick black suspenders. He wore a puffy coat that looked three sizes too big on him. Around his neck was a bright red bowtie with the initials YJ on either wing. His pants were a soft tan, and his dress shoes an inky black.
His features were lost in thought, yet he gave a glance of acknowledgement to Tanya.
"Is this spot taken?" He asked as he gestured to the other half of the bench.
Tanya scooted away some more, to make space for him. "No." she replied dryly.
He took a seat and hunched over. He leaned till his elbows were on his knees, his hands half hanging as he looked out at the beach and ocean.
"Rotten luck?" He asked, trying to make small talk with the toon lady beside him.
"Incredibly accurate. How could you tell?" Tanya asked as she raised an eyebrow at him as she started paying attention.
"Same bench." He joked solemnly as he sat upright. "What's got you overlooking the sea?"
Tanya wondered what brought this man to talk to her. She huffed in anger at her mistreatment as she balled her fists on her lap. "Can't even get in the front door to most places. I have no resume, no connections, so I'm wondering how I'm supposed to get a job."
"Mmhmm…" The man hummed as he listened to her thoughtfully.
"I'm trying my hand at being a movie director." He admitted as he laid back against the bench and kicked his legs out. He crossed them at the ankles. "Problem is, I ain't got enough money to compete with the bigger studios. I can likely get a loan, but that means risking bankruptcy."
"I can't exactly help you. I never liked acting, although I have performed twice." Tanya replied as she remembered her… propaganda shots and the music video she shot in her previous life.
The man looked her over. His eyes tracing her office outfit and he asked, "So, what kind of skills would you claim to have."
Tanya held her tongue for a moment. While she knew all the skills she had couldn't be backed up with proof, he was giving her a chance. This was a business opportunity.
"I work best in middle management. I have a history of looking over others while aiming for the goals of higher ups." Tanya stated with a clarity that felt comfortable to her.
In her first life, she was a salaryman who operated as the firing and hiring manager. That ended when she fired the wrong man, well he had earned that firing of course. In her second life, she operated as a military leader, working under the brass and ordering her troops to fulfill their goals.
Of course, she always worked towards her own goals, but that was to be expected of any employee.
The man grabbed at his chin as an idea brewed to completion. "Management…"
He grinned down at her. "How about you work as my toon manager?"
Tanya looked up at him with a look of bafflement and an eager smile, leading to one of her 'evil' smiles. "What would I be expected to do?"
He pulled out a business card from his oversized coat and handed it to her.
Yosef Jefford
Curl Root Road
Studio plot 22
"You need a job, and I need to make a good movie with a low budget. It looks like our desires are aligned." Yosef made his pitch to her as he placed his hands out, imagining the future. "The people want action, they want stakes, so what better way than to hire toons to make the action more bombastic. And that's where you'll come in."
"You want me to hire and manage toons." Tanya interjected as she was keeping up with his vision. She uncrossed her legs and put her fingers together in thought. "It would keep the prices down, while maintaining a good quality."
"Exactly!" Yosef snapped his fingers and pointed out to their more and more shared vision.
"When do we begin?" Tanya asked as she stood up.
"Come by the studio tomorrow morning, we'll draw up some contracts." He stood up and brushed out his hair with his hand, feeling confident and composed. His future was about to begin.
He offered a hand to her. "The name's Yosef Jefford. Upcoming director."
"Tanya Degurachaff." Tanya introduced herself as she took his hand and shook it. She was eager for this position.
Middle management! A desk job! Her dream was coming true, just a lot more colorfully than she had imagined.
"9 AM, studio 22. I'll provide bagels and payment." Yosef declared before he marched off. There was a happier, more determined march to his step.
Directing a full movie! No more begging and pleading for a chance, he was taking his shot! If he couldn't get enough engineers and technicians, he'd hire toons to supplement his workforce!
– 7 –
Tanya returned to ToonTown common grounds as the sky turned to a lovely violet. The night was approaching fast, and the sun was slipping away out of sight.
Her high heels clicked happily as she had managed to obtain what seemed to be a really good job. Her ponytail bobbed a bit more than usual as she walked along.
The only other sounds being that of a new gazebo band, consisting of three bats and a possum playing some soft, slow beat ambience, with the piano taking the lead. Their own soft blues filled the air with a relaxation as the nocturnal toons began to come out.
Charles sat on a bench around where his corndog stand used to be. He had a patient, calm smile on his face, yet the bouncing in his leg revealed a nervousness.
He immediately lit up as he saw Tanya, leaping to his feet and waving for her. "Tanya, Tanya!" He cheered.
One of the musical bats winced at how loud he was before shooting him a glare.
Charles bit his teeth and cringed at himself. "Tanya, Tanya." He hissed out a cheer for her.
"I hope you have good news?" Tanya asked with a smile, which almost came as threatening had Charles not been able to see through her.
"I did find you a place to stay the night." Charles spoke with a light bounce on his heels. He put up his hands. "It's not for long, but a night or two is better than nothing."
Tanya nodded her head. "Good, good. I believe I should be able to procure funds soon enough. Both to pay back your kindnesses, as well as to get things sorted out."
"Oh, you got a job amongst the humans so quickly? What do you do?" He asked with excitement, his ears perked up.
"I'll be in management." Tanya noted. "Working for a movie director named Jefford."
"Lucky you!" Charles applauded Tanya before cringing and hoping he didn't upset the bats. "Lucky you… Entertainment's traditionally been a great place for toons."
"If all goes well, I should do quite well for myself." Tanya gave a confident smirk.
"Hey, you're cool with rabbits, right?" Charles asked as he led them out of the common grounds.
"I don't see how this would be an issue." Tanya stated, as she had no idea.
– 8 / 8 –
The two of them stood outside a wooden townhouse, 3 stories tall and not nearly as wide. Painted a creamy white, with light pink shutters and a soft blue roof. The doorway had a cute rabbit icon molded in, with a notably wide and rounded door.
What was most notable was the lights and loudness of the house. Every light was on, and it seemed as though every room was alive. One poor kid was nearly thrown out the window. Only to catch himself on the windowsill and scramble over to the next window over, while some kid the two couldn't see yelled at them.
"I see." Tanya deadpanned as she realized what he had meant. She puffed up her chest and straightened her curved back in self confidence. "However, I fail to see what other alternatives I have."
She knocked politely on the door.
"Who's there?" A young voice chirped back from behind the door.
"Tanya, the new guest." Tanya answered back with a confused eyebrow raise as she put a hand on her wide hip. She was slightly unamused by the antics.
"Ah, you're no fun!" The young voice whined before she opened the door with an annoyed pout. There stood a small, black rabbit with lighter brown specks around her shoulders and a splotch of brown over one eye. She, like many of the younger rabbits running around, wore a patchy set of denim overalls and, in her case a white t-shirt.
"Sorry little fella." Charles apologized with his hands together, leaning over a little for the young bunny. "Can you go get your mother? I spoke with her earlier today…"
"Fiinnee…" The kid gave an eyeroll before cupping her hand beside her mouth and yelling into the house. "Ma! There's a weird dog outside! And a…"
She looked over Tanya, eyeing her dress up. "Stressed business lady!"
An adult rabbit woman stepped around the corner. She wore a soft green, button down dress that went down to her shins. On top she had a hefty apron with an extra pouch on the front. The rabbit logo was stitched in. Her fur was a creamy brown, and she wore her hair in a braid that ran over her chest.
"Pepper. Be nice." She lightly scolded the girl before placing a hand on her head and gently scooting her aside. Her voice was smooth and soft. "Run along and go play with your twin brother Saul."
She gently pet her hair down before overlaying her hands above her lap. "I'm so sorry. Kits can be such a handful."
"My name is Hazel. Hazel Leporid." She gave a slight bow, letting her long ears flop for a moment.
"Tanya, Tanya Degurachaff." Tanya replied back as she gave a head bow of her own. "I was told I might be able to spend the night…"
"Ah, you're the new guest." Hazel beamed a soft, tired smile. "Always willing to share a spot for a new toon. Sorry if the place is a mess."
"I promise you, Mrs. Leporid, I will pay you back for the rent." Tanya placed her confident statement.
"I… really should get going." Charles gave a small, shy wave as his tail slumped. "As much as I'd like to stay, I really should be getting back to my wife."
Hazel led Tanya into the house. "Take your time, but I won't turn down the help. What goes around comes around." Hazel chuckled lightly.
Vrroooom!
"Hu!" Tanya gasped as her high heels were knocked out from under her by a speeding blur. She landed on her ass and grit her teeth in anger, trying to appear grateful despite the mischief.
"Dash!" Hazel called out to the speeding yellow blur. "Don't run under people's feet!"
She bent over to offer Tanya a hand up. "Sorry, sorry. Kits, I swear, it only ends when they sleep."
Tanya took the offered hand and got up. "It's alright." She grunted with a sigh. "I can take it."
"Care to join us for dinner?" Hazel offered as she brushed off Tanya's shoulder. "It'll just be salad though…"
"That would be amazing." Tanya gave a quizzical yet well meaning smile.
Hazel led Tanya into the dining area, which was the largest room in the townhouse. There was a comically long table, with rabbit eared chairs running along either side. Each chair had a name painted on the back. The chair at either head of the table was larger and had armrests. To the right hand of either head chair was a normal dining chair.
While several doors led into the dining room, only one led into the kitchen. Beside the kitchen door was a large, gold bell with a little rope attached. The bell was adorned with a carrot motif.
"You may want to take your seat." Hazel informed Tanya as she pointed to a guest chair.
Tanya gave a hum of understanding and was about to make her way towards the guest chair, before -
"Oh, is it dinner time already Ma?" A taller, and notably older brown bunny poked his head out of the kitchen. He reached up and rang the bell.
Ring ding dang!
The entire house began to rumble and wobble as the kits and young rabbits charged and flooded into the dining room. Chaotic clouds were kicked up as they flooded the room.
"W, wait!" Tanya cried as she was pushed by the current before going under. She reached a hand up before getting trampled by the horde.
Squish! Squash!
When the clouds cleared, and a majority had taken their seat, Tanya was revealed on the ground.
She was flattened onto her back, hands up by her shoulders in self defense. Her teeth grit in anger and surprise. Her once thick hips and ass were as paper thin as the rest of her.
'I don't think I'll ever get used to this.' Tanya grumbled to herself as she struggled to pick herself up. "Mrs. Leporid, a little help please…"
Hazel put a hand over her mouth, both in shock, guilt, and a little bit of mischievous fun. She bent down and grabbed Tanya by her ponytail before peeling her up like a long, rubber sticker.
Tanya wobbled lightly in Hazel's grasp, like a large rubber poster, before she was flicked out and back to 3d. She stumbled before placing a hand on the wall to balance herself. The other hand went to her head to process what just happened to her.
"Again, I'm so sorry." Hazel chimed as she waved aside a small kit which pulled at her dress. "Please, take your seat and we'll be right with you."
"Yes ma'am." Tanya replied as she straightened herself up and fixed her blazer before marching to her seat.
Hazel and some of the older rabbits helped dish out mountains of salad to the horde of kits. The salads were honestly quite well done. A variety of cooked vegetables, bell peppers and radish and carrot and more. They weren't limited to only what real rabbits could eat, as their salads included onion, rhubarb, and more.
As Tanya sat down and was served, the brown rabbit from earlier offered her a scoop of several varieties of their salad.
"Ah, sorry about that Miss. Wasn't expecting company." He gave a sheepish smile. "Name's Chester. Eldest son, at least I think…" He looked up in thought as his ears folded back.
"That's… alright." Tanya sighed heavily as she accepted her food. "You're forgiven."
The rabbit kids were aligned at their seats, and Tanya noticed that there were 24 children. The older ones were spread out to manage the horde, but overall there seemed to be a tendency from Hazel's side of the table to have the older ones closer to her. The seat at the other end remained empty.
Tanya had a moment to consider her new lot in life. While smelling the warm cooking, and being treated to perhaps the best salad she's had in three lives, it gave her time to think.
'I will miss the work I put into my previous lives. The investments of time and effort and connection, ripped away by the irrational actions of others. Perhaps I will miss Viktoria… Grantz… my battalion whom I enjoyed hardfought dinners with.' Tanya felt a hint of remorse for her lost lives.
She rationalized her feelings, with labels of investment, gains and losses. Yet the feeling remained true, if only for a moment.
'Yet, is this life not everything I had wished for?' Tanya thought to herself as she crunched away a well cooked and seasoned piece of bok choy. 'I have a job in management. Perhaps I can even get promoted if we are successful. I'm free to pursue my life, free from the shadow of that damned Being X. And, I'm… safe? I just got trampled by a family large enough to staff an entire office, and am completely fine, not a scratch on me… The flattening and toon abilities, I doubt I'll get used to that.'
She remembered the feeling of flight and magic and the awful intoxication of the type 95. The feeling of her bones shaking from each artillery strike and how adrenaline would flood her every nerve. It was flight and fight or die, day after day. '... Or, maybe I will. Being flattened has to beat being hit with an artillery gun. I can do without any more humiliation though. So there's a reason to believe otherwise.'
Chester came around after dinner and took her plate when she was done. The sounds of washing began from the kitchen as a few of the older kids got to cleaning.
"I'll lead you to your room." Hazel announced softly to Tanya as she made her way up and through the house. The horde of kits following along.
"This might take a minute though." She grinned before she stopped at nearly every door and kissed the respective kits on the head before nudging them off to bed.
Tanya waited patiently as they made their way through the house. The walls had pictures of the ever growing family throughout the years, as well as pictures of the children at core events. Graduations, competitions, learning a new skill. She also got to see her husband. A jet black rabbit, who worked as a security guard by the looks of his outfit. And Hazel, back when she used to work as a leotard wearing waitress.
She found herself up at the highest room in the house. It was incredibly bare. A humble guest room, with a cot without any head or footer part. A nightstand with a lamp, maybe the only lamp in the house without a rabbit motif. A wardrobe that seemed to be home to a family of dust bunnies. A lone, standing mirror. A single, large window with a closed shutter and drawn blinds.
"Thank you so much Mrs. Leporid." Tanya thanked again with a bow of her head. "I promise to pay you back. What will the rent be?"
"Hehe. You're far too stressed Tanya my dear." Hazel shook her head. "Take your time. And even if you don't get around to paying me back, get around to paying someone else back. Kindness is not a two way street, it's a free prairie to be shared when possible and received when needed."
Tanya didn't know how to respond. She shut her lips and thought it over. She was a businesswoman at heart, a salaryman from origin.
She calculated her current debt in her head. The corndog offered by Charles. The likely price of the vegetables she had, she'd also have to thank whoever cooked them. The rent for the room.
Once she was done, she nodded. "I understand. Good night Mrs. Leporid."
"Good night, Tanya." Hazel smiled and left while Tanya closed and locked the door.
Finally alone, Tanya began to strip out of her office wear and high heels. Weirdly enough, even after a whole day of wearing them, they didn't affect her in the slightest. Left with only her undergarments on, she hung up her clothing into the wardrobe.
She gave herself one last look over in the mirror. She had fallen from the sky. She had been thrown down a flight of stairs. She had been trampled by children. Yet nowhere she looked, was even a single scratch on her curvy body.
Now that she had walked a day in this body, which was absurd for any normal human, she had begun to grow comfortable in her new form. Even if her hips were wider than her shoulders and her back had an attractive arch in it.
She climbed into bed, curling up under the covers. From her angle on the bed, she could see the night sky. In her first life, there were no stars. In the second, she wouldn't pay attention to the stars for her focus was on looking for mages. But now, the night sky felt beautiful and tranquil with its assortment of dark colors and tiny shining lights. A new life awaited her.
